Covering Up
by FaeCym
Summary: A multi-chapter story (okay it is a novel) that starts at the immediate end of Season rated I will write more if I get lots of reviews, I own nothing! These characters belong to Piper Kerman, Jenji Kohan and the great staff of writers that make up this TV
1. Chapter 1 Covering Up

Pairing of Piper and Alex, it takes place at the immediate end of Season One. I own nothing.

Covering Up

Piper fell beside Tiffany in the cold snow. She was shaking from the sheer exhaustion that followed her rage. She blinked a few times and tried to focus. She had to get out of there...she had to get away from her. She stood and looked in the snow for the screwdriver. She didn't want to get caught with it. She heard Tiffany moan and nearly started crying with relief that she was alive. She found the screwdriver next to the bloody snow and picked it up. She threw it as hard as she could over the wall and in to the parking lot behind the kitchen. Then she bent and washed her hands in the cold snow. There was blood on her knuckles and it felt good to numb them. Piper moved to the crazy, bloody, Christmas Angel and picked up her sharp cross and placed it back in her hand. Then she returned the way she came and slipped back in to her seat in the Chapel. They were all singing Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer as a sing-a-long. She kept her bruised and bloodied hands in her jacket pockets. Once it was over, many people went down to congratulate the performers. She saw Alex below with Nicky, hugging Morello. She nodded and smiled at some of them but turned to leave and filed out with the rest of the crowd. She could hear Tiffany's friends asking where she had gone. She just kept her head down and walked back to her room.

Once there she took her hands out and looked at them more closely. She wasn't sure what she was going to do. Healy had seen here with Tiffany...Healy had walked away as if he didn't hear her. He had to have heard her and he had to have understood her life was in danger. She had a thought, a way to give herself some cover. She left her bunk with a purpose, remembering to keep her hands in her pocket. Piper knew there wasn't much time before they realized Tiffany was missing or she drug herself up out of the snow. She went straight for Alex. Nicky was there, as usual, and tried to head off the confrontation.

"She was really clear Chapman. Just get some Christmas Spirit and go back to your bunk, Alex is done with you. " Piper didn't even look at her. She faked to the left then darted to the right, moving past Nichols to come face to face with Alex.

"You are a piece of work. You fuck up my engagement by talking to Larry, then stand here all innocent. I hate you as much as I love you..and I hate myself for that. Merry Christmas. I left your present under your pillow. " She got close to her face and Alex looked at her with the strangest expression. She knew right away something was up...she knew right away something had happened to Piper and it was written all over her face.

"Fuck off and leave me alone. You chose, so get the fuck out!" Alex said before she pushed her glasses back down on her nose. Nicky grabbed her shoulder and Piper jerked her arm back with much more force than Nicky was expecting.

"Don't fuckin' touch me, Nichols. You have NO IDEA what it is like to have loved her since you were 22, so enjoy her...have at it. I don't.." she couldn't finish the sentence instead she walked towards the door to their Suburb dorm and started to pound the door with her hands. Bennett pulled her away and Morello, who was still in her costume, hurried over to take her from him before he restrained her or caled for assistance.

"It's all good, Officer. You know the Holidays and all...you know...brings out stress in people. Oh..hon your hands are bloody." Piper looked down and hoped she looked surprised. What did surprise her was Alex coming up and taking both of her violent bloody hands in hers.

"What the hell, Piper...you hurt.." she started but Bennett interrupted telling them all to go back to their bunks. He told Piper to come along with him and pulled her away from Alex.

"You can get your hands wrapped then come clean the door. I..have to write it up though." He said apologetically. She always liked him and was thankful he was the one that saw her beating the doors. She hoped it was enough for a cover up. She couldn't really stop shaking. Her mind kept wandering to Tiffany's face. Where had all that rage come from?

After her hands were wrapped by a nurse from Psych, she head back to her bunk for lights out. She was right in front of Alex's dorm area when the alarm went off. It was the same one they used with the screw driver. She saw others lay down on the floor, right before she bent her knees she saw Alex walking towards her. One of the guards ran from behind and knocked Alex's knees out from under her. Piper started to rush forward but felt Bennett's hand on her shoulder pushing her down as well. She assumed the position she had been taught to take, laying on her stomach, feet crossed, head down. She heard Alex cursing but knew she complied.

"An Inmate is missing! You will not move until she is found, " the guard ordered. Immediately, people started looking around. It was obvious soon that Tiffany was the one missing. She picked up her head a bit and looked across the threshold to wear Alex lay. She was in her shorts and long sleeve T-shirt that she wore to bed. She thought that Alex would get cold and wished she could give her the jacket she wore.

**_She remembered the beach on Vancouver Island. It was on a rare vacation trip they took after visiting New York. They stayed only three days, smoked some of the best pot she had ever tried and talked about literature. Alex had rented a beach house near Qualicum beach. Most of their time they spent in bed, but at night they would go out to eat and walk the beach. It was very relaxing and a balm for their relationship. _**

**_They were walking on the beach when she turned to Piper and asked " What literary character would you say I am most like?" They usually played this game with people around them when they got bored. Piper knew the answer because she had always thought the same response...but she wasn't sure she should say it. Alex was like moonlight on the water. Her smile was so lovely that Piper sometimes had to catch herself and remember to breathe. A breeze came in off the old Pacific Ocean and she had shivered. Alex unzipped her jacket and put it around her. _**

**_"Here, cover up, you never remember to bring your jacket because you like wearing mine. So what is your answer?" Alex asked as she leaned forward and pressed her forehead to Piper's gently._**

**_"I have a few in mind, but I don't want to say." Piper answered as she got closer and shared the jacket. _**

**_"Aw, I didn't think you would." Alex responded with that amused tone she used when she pointed out she knew Piper better than she knew herself. It felt good next to her body, warm and inviting. _**

The sound of the all clear bell startled her from her memory. People were asking if they found the missing inmate and the guards all told them to be quiet. Bennett told her to get up and go to her bunk for check. She rose and looked over at Alex. She started to get up but the guard, Henton, put his boot on her back keeping her down.

"You need to examine the floor a bit more inmate. You were the last one down, should be the last one up. " his voice was cold and hateful. Piper started towards him to say something. Again, Bennett got in front of her.

"Listen to me Chapman. Go. To. Your. Bunk! She will be okay. You don't need any more trouble tonight." He said this as he steered her towards her dorm.

"But I have to clean up the blood from the door." she said as she stopped walking and turned. She could hear Alex ask to be let up and if he'd please stop pressing down on her back. Piper felt her adrenaline start to pump and the rage start to bubble. She heard Nicky and a few others start to mouth off to the other guards about what he was doing. They were told to shut the fuck up and then she heard Alex cry out in pain.

"She cleaned it for you while you were getting patched up." Bennett said as he blocked her path to the door again. Piper looked at him confused.

"Who did? Morello?" she asked him as she started to walk around him back towards the doorway and Alex. He grabbed her arm and jerked her back.

"No Vause. Now, if I have to tell you again, that is another SHOT. You could end up back in the SHU, inmate. So move it." His tone had changed and she knew he was at his limit. But she couldn't leave Alex to be abused under that bully's boot.

"I'm fine Piper, go on." she heard her say. Piper turned and walked towards the Ghetto dorm. She heard Bennett say " Let her up Henton or write her up for not getting down fast enough, I mean we all know how Kaputo loves trivial write ups."

She smiled a bit as she entered and wondered how long it would be before they came to take her to SHU over Tiffany. She sat down on her bunk after check and took off her boots. She was bone tired and it was a struggle to get in to her grey gown with her fingers stiff in the bandages. Hitting the door and been mostly dramatic but she had to connect with it to transfer the blood. She looked up at the ceiling as all the dorm lights went out. She should be terrified of what she did but all she could feel was relieved. She had fought and won. She lost herself to a rage that scared her but her tired mind wouldn't let her think about it now.

Alex touched her hands and cleaned up her blood. She smiled and whispered " Merry Christmas Piper" before she fell in to a deep winter sleep.

**maybe to be continued**


	2. Chapter 2 Fuck Pet's Story

Chapter Two Fuck Pet's Story

Piper awoke to Henton pulling her covers off of her and yanking her up by her arms. It was a rude awakening that frightened her immediately. She was self conscious of her gown and felt even more violated that he just walked right in to her cube and pulled her up.

"Get up, Chapman. You are to report to Kaputo's office. He's been here all night and I am not going to leave him waiting for one more minute. " As he spoke he started towards the opening to the small cube she shared with Taystee.

"Hell, give her time to put her pants and shoes on Henton. You can't drag half naked prisoners out of the dorm. " Again it was Bennett that stated the obvious and came to her rescue. Henton stopped half way out of the Ghetto block.

"This place is for pussies, I swear. Down the Hill you don't treat the inmates like they're at a country club." He mumbled but to her relief he started walking back towards her cube. She really hated Henton. He dropped her at the door and she went in gathering up her pants and hoody from the hook. She didn't change out of her gown, but rather tucked it in her pants before slipping on her boots. He didn't let her lace them, just grabbed her arm and led her out.

It was Poussey that called out and asked " What you after Chapman for? She was sleeping here all night, no way she broke any regulations." Others started to mumble and Henton yelled for them to shut up.

"She is being questioned about the disturbance before lights out." Bennett said. Henton turned to look at him like he had grown another head. John just stood a bit more straight and said "What? They'll know within the next five minutes. Might as well hear it from us." He nodded to Poussey and she nodded back with rare respect. Piper tried to smile at her but she was too tired and too scared. She fully expected to be taken to the SHU or worse after this meeting with Kaputo. Piper wasn't sure why, but all she could think about was Alex. Would she be relieved not to see her anymore? Would she believe that she beat Tiffany so hard? Alex had taken her revenge in a manner that didn't physically harm Tiffany, the whole gas-light plan had actually worked. But Piper had to admit, Tiffany didn't try to kill Alex directly.

Henton kept her arm in a tight grip and raised so she had to walk fast to keep up with him. When she passed the Suburb dorm she got her wish. Alex was coming out with her toilet items in her hands. She always showered at 5am to avoid the crowds. She stopped in her tracks and watched as Piper was quickly moved through the halls. Piper turned her head to watch her as they moved down the hall. Bennett stepped to the side so she could keep eye contact. Piper couldn't help but smile as she saw her mussy hair and lines on her face. When she slept by herself, Alex always ended up on her stomach, face down on the pillow or bed. When they slept together, she always spooned her and slept on her side. Piper could roll and roll in the bed, but Alex would always stay on her side with an arm thrown over her body. It was something she loved. When they had spooned, before Larry's show...before it all fell apart, all of that came rushing back to her. She clung to that as she walked away around the corner. Alex stood frozen in place. Piper thought maybe she looked worried. Maybe she just looked relieved and would be happy when she was sent away. She'd never know .

"Turn around, Chapman. Your fuck pet can't help you now." Henton said with a vicious tone. She didn't try to answer. She did smile a bit at Alex being called a fuck pet.

_**They had been at a party in London. Alex was there to make two connections and maybe find a few drug mules. Piper hated those kinds of parties because it was in her nature to flirt with young, rich girls. Alex could pick them out of a crowd and zero in on them. Sometimes she introduced her as her partner, other times she just treated her like a wing man, but they weren't picking up chicks to take home to bed...they were luring young girls in to a life of crime. It hadn't really bothered her in the beginning because they all chose to do it, just like she chose to remain with Alex. The music was amazing and all she really wanted to do was dance. Alex had opened a tab and told her to use it as she wanted but not to leave the club. Once they had been seperated in Berlin and a very drunk Piper had ended up going home three soccer..um football players. She had to call Alex from their apartment complex. It had scared her and Alex was furious the next day. So now they had hard rules. If Alex was at the club for work, then neither could leave without the other one. Also, Alex couldn't bring anyone home to their place. She could meet them the next day for Lunch or give them a number, but no one but the two of them went to their home. It was working so far. Piper ordered a Red Headed Slut shot and drank it down fast. The Jaegar made her throat burn but she enjoyed the almost instant buzz it gave her. She danced in the middle of the floor and closed her eyes letting the music flush all over her. She felt bodies all around but after a few hours and three more drinks, she felt a body press very close to her. She turned and put her hands up just a bit to close them around Alex's neck. She was surprised to find it wasn't Alex but a tall, muscular man, with dark skin and light blue eyes. She smiled but pulled back and danced the other way. He reached out and pulled her to him. **_

_**"You Dance like a professional. Have you ever stripped?" He asked her as he began to grind his hips in to her. His voice was heavily accented, Persian, she guessed. Piper immediately got mad. She wasn't going to be manhandled at a club. She pushed against him and tried to wrench her arm out of his grasp. **_

_**"BACK OFF, I'm dancing alone...and you need better lines if you think being compared to a stripper is a compliment, bub." she said as she pulled harder. Her arm remained in his grip though and now it was hurting. **_

_**"What line do I need to say then? I always thought my English was good, but I guess it isn't clear enough for you American Girl. I am Sundeep. Dance closer to me, I like the way you move." His eyes flashed a way that let her know he was used to people doing exactly what he said. **_

_**"I said to BACK OFF, let go of my arm before I scream for security." She tried to steel her voice but she had become scared. His grip was really hurting now and he was very strong. She opened her mouth to scream out when she felt an arm around her waist. **_

_**"Sundeep, I see you met my woman. This is my partner, Piper. Please take your hand off her arm." It was Alex and immediately she felt relaxed and safe. He let go of her and stood, looking at both of them as if he was trying to understand the term partner. **_

_**"She is in our business?" He seemed to be intrigued and geniuinely shocked at the prospect. Alex moved around her to stand so her body was a bit in front of Piper. It was subtle but she noted how her lover moved and that this meant the man was dangerous. Piper rubbed her upper arm to try and eleviate the stinging pain left from his brusing grip. **_

_**Alex got still and raised her voice so she was heard over the music. "No, she is not my business partner, she is my lover. MY Woman and I don't like anyone...no matter how much business they MAY bring to me...touching MY Woman. Surely you can understand that?" As she spoke she moved closer to him and looked him straight in the eye. Piper was scared and started to say it was just a simple misunderstanding. **_

_**"Oh I see, she is a...what is you call it.. fuck pet?" His voice seemed to drip with scarcasm. **_

_**Alex tensed again and Piper reached out and put her armd around her body from behind, moving closer to her. She sensed Alex's smile and didn't need to see her face to know to know the smile didn't reach her beautiful eyes. "No. She is my girlfriend, my wife, my love and you are offending me. Talk with Jameson if you want to do business with my boss." With that, she turned and took Piper gently by the arm and led her to the bar to settle the tab. Piper held on to her hand all the way out of the club. A few girls approached Alex, perhaps hoping to go with her or maybe for a number. She ignored them all as if they didn't exist and walked outside to the chilly London night. In the cab, Alex was quiet but held her close. **_

_**"Do you need some ice for your arm?" She asked as they got to their flat. She walked towards the bar as Piper kicked off her heels. **_

_**"No I'm fine, it will leave a bruise but no big deal.." She started to say but Alex interupted. **_

_**"It was a big fucking deal. He had no right to touch you at all. Fucking Arabic men think all women that wear a skirt and dance are on this Earth to please their misogonistic, neanderthal urges. I wont work with him. He can work with the dude in Rio." she said as she poured herself a drink and got Piper a bag of ice for her arm. **_

_**Piper didn't know what to say so she moved to her and kissed her gently saying. "Come to bed, my wife, my fuck pet...and bring the ice." This made Alex smile and that was enough for now. **_

Piper tried to hold on to that imagine, that small smile that touched her heart, but it was hard. They pushed her in to Kaputo's office and stood behind her as she faced him. He looked very tired. He was still dressed in what he wore to the Pageant. His mustache seemed ruffled and his eyes were tired. There were three empty paper coffee cups on his desk and his whole body radiated anger. Healy was there as well, leaning against the shelf to the left of the desk.

"Chapman, Inmate Doggett was assaulted last night. She was beaten severely and left in the snow. She is at the hospital and will be there for a few weeks. Now, I heard you two were at odds. I want to know what happened. " he said as he leaned back in his chair.

Piper swallowed and nodded before speaking " Yes Sir, she was threatening me. She seemed offended that I didn't want to convert to her Evangelical religion. As to what happened last night, I saw her at the Pageant. She was the Angel. It was good. I didn't see her.."

"You trying to say you weren't outside with her Chapman?" Healy interupted.

"Outside? No Sir, I was inside the Chapel the whole time." she said back to him, looking him straight in the eye.

Kaputo held up his hand to Healy. "Healy said he saw you heading towards the door of the Chapel."

"Yes Sir, I stepped into the hallway right outside to collect myself. The singing..was touching. I was a bit overcome with Christmas memories of my grandmother. _I saw the Light _was her favorite hymn. I came right back inside though and joined in the sing-a-long part. I'm sure one of the guards saw me leave with the group. I um..went to back to my bunk, then to D block before final check. Officer Bennett saw me there as well. I was with him when the alarm sounded. " Piper looked up at him as if to pass off the story. He waited to be told to speak. All Kaputo did was wave his hand.

" yes Sir it was as she said, I saw her return to the Dorm area with the bulk of the Pageant crowd. She went to D block to speak to Inmate Vause, they had a verbal altercation and then she took her anger out on the door. I pulled her away.."

"Took her anger out on a door?" Kaputo asked to clarify.

"Yes Sir, she hit it with her fist, rather than hit Vause. I stopped her and walked her to the nurse to clinic to get her hands wrapped and returned. Inmate Vause was cleaning up the blood off the door when I got back. Inmate Chapman returned as she said to the dorm area right before the alarm. She returned after the all clear for final check and was there until we removed her this morning." His voice was very clear and Army like. Piper appreciated the tone because it was sure and confident. She didn't look at him or smile. She just kept her eyes on the plant on his desk. It seemed a bit odd but she couldn't hazard a guess as to why.

"This is bullshit. I saw her leave.." Healy started in and Piper felt her white hot rage emerge.

"You saw me leave the Chapel and go outside, Counselor Healy? Surely you are not saying you saw not one but TWO prisoners leave a prison event and go to a restricted area? We all are aware that you will not have any such behavior. Everyone knows you will not tolerate any opportunity for two women to be alone here. ..after all it could lead to Lesbian activity." she said, her eyes never leaving Healy's face. She turned to Kaputo and continued, " I have no doubt Mr. Healy saw me step out of the Chapel in to the hallway. But I can't believe he would have seen Tiffany and I walk out in to the night alone and not at least followed to make sure we weren't misbehaving. He is much too dilligent for such negligence. "

Healy seemed to be fuming as she spoke. He moved towards her and leaned down his face just inches from hers, she turned her eyes and looked at him, completely unafraid. He had tried to kill her as surely as Tiffany and she would not back down from him again. He was a bit startled by her expression and the words he was going to spout, seemed to die on his lips. Kaputo sensed there was something wrong with the situation and told him to back off the prisoner or to get out of his office. Healy moved back to his spot holding up the shelf.

Kaputo sighed heavily and then said " I am exhausted. We have no proof she was outside and her injuries to her hands were witnessed by another officer...and Pensatucky's word against her doesn't mean squat since she has made numerous threats against her already. We may never know who did it but I do know I am taking my ass home to enjoy the day with my family. Take her back to her bunk Henton and Bennett make sure what you saw is properly reported." he said. Bennett nodded and Healy protested but Kaputo silenced him by simply asking if he saw the prisoners in the restricted area and did nothing to bring them back or call for back up. Healy just shook his head and clenched his teeth so hard his face turned red. Piper enjoyed the sight as she thanked Mr. Kaputo for his decision.

"Thank you Sir, I do hope Tiffany gets better and gets much needed help. Merry Christmas, Sir." Piper added with a bright smile just for him. She didn't look at Healy again as she left with Henton in tow. She was returned to her bunk without incident and everyone wanted to know what was going on...she told them she was asked about where she was last night and everything was fine. Taystee told a bunch of them that she heard the ambulance came last night and took Pensatucky to the hospital. She looked at Chapman and nodded with approval. Piper just smiled and made her way to the bathroom. She could feel eyes on her as she walked. They were all wondering if she did it. Poussey, Taystee and Black Cindy all thought she had and she couldn't help but feel a bit proud of herself. She still believed Violence wasn't the answer but as she said before, sometimes bitches gots to learn.

She entered the bathroom and was happy to see it was still quiet. She went to the sink first to wash her face and try to gather her thoughts. She heard a sniffle and turned to see Alex in the first stall. She was wet from a shower but was rocking back and forth some. Piper got scared something was wrong and walked over.

"I know you hate me, but um if you want I'll go get Nichols." As she spoke Alex's head shot up. Her beautiful eyes were even more bright from tears and the red that surrounded the pupil. She stood up from the toilet and her towel fell. Piper reached out and caught it as Alex put her hands on her face. Piper startled at the touch a bit but looked up and back in to Alex's eyes.

"You're okay...they didn't send you to SHU." she said and her voice was so filled with relief that Piper's heart actually fluttered with hope.

"No, they can't prove it was me. My hands were hurt on the door.." she started and Alex nodded and dropped her hands to her side. Piper gently wrapped her in her towel again as Alex continued.

"Brilliant, by the way. I knew you were.." But Piper put her finger on her lips to silence her.

"I'm sorry I got mad. I'm sorry I hurt you again. I'm sorry for lots of things but not what I did last night. I needed to beat...that door. It let out much of my rage. I...hope you liked your presents, I had better get in the shower before there is a line. " she said and with that she turned leaving Alex standing in the stall.


	3. Chapter 3 Piper Chapman the Bad Ass Tour

I own nothing and this is literally my third post so I messed up on the other two and am trying to figure out how my edits will show! I appreciate the patience y'all.

Piper's knuckles ached so much it made it really hard to hold the screw driver and try to fix the toaster. She asked for a glue gun but Luschek looked at her like she was crazy. Nicky was sitting behind her. No one was sitting with her or had really spoken to her today. She ate breakfast with Poussey and Black Cindy this morning. They had been real proud of how she handled Tiffany. She didn't confirm or deny that she did it. but it seemed everyone thought she did.

"Nobody gonna fuck wif you for awhile, " Black Cindy said as she chewed her English muffin. "That's good, just be careful someone don't try to step up on you to prove they are all that." Piper sighed. She thought, maybe it would be better now. The cut that Tiffany gave her was burning. The nurse never mentioned it so she just counted herself lucky. She had made her way to Work without dropping her laundry off. She wondered what she'd have to give Taystee to take it down for her. She just couldn't face Alex. When she came in to the cafeteria to eat, Piper kept her head down and didn't look at her. One good thing about being in the Ghetto block was that she could sit with the African Americans and not have to socialize with Alex. It was what Alex wanted.

She wanted to talk to Larry. She missed him. She missed his jokes and how he made her feel like maybe, just maybe she could have a life after this place. He didn't deserve to get caught up in her mess. What had he called it? A carnival ride? That sounded like something Alex would say. She couldn't blame him for not understanding. She had never shared her relationship with Alex. She had never told him how she loved her to her very core. She had to admit to herself, deep inside that she didn't want to share Alex with anyone but Polly. Even Polly hadn't really understood how much fundamentally Alex had changed her. It wasn't just the traveling or the money. Yes, that was amazing and added to the fun. No, it was how Alex had loved her. She listened to her rambling, her dreams, her thoughts on literature...everything. No one had ever really listened to what she had to say. No one had looked at her like Alex. In her eyes, Piper was stunningly beautiful and gloriously funny. Even when it got bad and she knew that Alex had started to put the business first, she knew Alex loved her.

Nicky sat beside her and took the screwdriver from her hand. "You're gonna cut your other hand, " she said as she expertly removed the three screws to expose the back of the radio. Piper exhaled with relief. She knew Nicky liked Alex. The thought of them touching each other made her physically ill. But if it had to be anyone, at least it was her.

"Thanks. I'm sorry about last night. I didn't mean to shrug you off so hard." Piper said as she looked over the manual. At least this one was in French. French she could decipher.

Nicky laughed. " Yeah well you were easy beating the crap outta a..." Piper looked at her and over to Luschek who was actually listening for a change. "...door. You seemed upset so all is good." She laughed again and started to work on another lamp.

"Did I..Interrupt something earlier, before the pageant?" Piper hated herself for asking but she had to know.

"Between me and Vause?" Nicky asked.

"yeah, you seemed...close on her bunk." Piper swallowed down the bile that rose as she said that. She kept looking at the words on the page as if they were a map and she was lost in the Forest of Alex.

"Well, she was giving me her Christmas present." Nicky grinned as she said it and Piper looked up at her. She felt sick but had to ask.

"What did you give you? I can't imagine she made anything. Once she tried to make me a bracelet of flowers and it fell apart before she could put it on my wrist." It had been very sweet. Piper told her she didn't want jewelry for her birthday but she wanted Alex to take the time to make her something. It had been really sweet.

Nicky stopped working and looked over at her. "Do you really wanna know?" The way she asked left little doubt what type of present Alex gave her. Piper got up quickly and ran to the bucket by the door. Usually it held old screw or resisters they were going to try and reuse. But thankfully it had been emptied. She threw up her breakfast into the bucket.

"HEY take that outside Chapman! Jesus, that is all we need, a fuckin' stomach virus. Go to the clinic, now." He said as he started spraying disinfectant all over the shop despite the protest from the other girls that had to inhale it. She walked out in to the cold December day and gasped for breath. She felt rather than saw someone behind her and she jerked around with her bruised, wrapped hands raised.

"Whoa there Rocky, I was just checking on you. You okay?" Nicky asked with her hands raised to show she meant no harm. Piper kinda liked how she stood back from her. Piper got closer and Nicky stood her ground.

"I...am trying to be okay. Don't...I mean I gotta be okay with it don't I? So I'm going to take my bucket to the clinic, " and with that she turned and walked away.

It wasn't the first time she'd been sick over Alex.

_**She was somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean when the fact she had left her girlfriend hit her. Alex was going to her Mom's funeral alone and she was going back to New York alone. She had barely made it to the toilet before she threw up. The tears started as she drooped over the small sink in the bathroom. What had she done? She had left her like she meant nothing. But she had known, she knew without even a small shadow of doubt that if she went with Alex to her mom's funeral, she would never leave her. She knew that if she tried to even be her friend, she would stay. It felt too good to be in her arms, it felt so right to be next to her as they walked down the street. She had turned her back on her family, kept her life separate from everyone but Polly, so she could keep Alex to herself. Her mom couldn't criticize her brother couldn't make jokes...her Dad couldn't look at her with those sad, disappointed eyes. She had kept Alex to herself and now that she didn't have Alex, she had nothing. **_

_**She was sick the whole flight and no one wanted to be near her. When she got off the plane and got her luggage, she was so tired she could barely pull the bag. Most of her things she had simply left in the apartment. She didn't have room in her luggage. It was a pitiful amount for two years of her life. **_

_**"Hey there Pipes. You look like shit." Polly said as she approached her in the terminal and took the handle of her bag. Piper had just looked at her and burst into tears again. **_

_**"I miss her. I left her when she needed me, I'm a fuckin' bitch. What have I done?" Piper was shaking and Polly stepped up and held her close. **_

_**"You left her. You made a decision and you stuck to it. It is going to hurt for awhile. But trust me Pipes, it will get better. I promise. Come on, let me get you home to my place. You can go to bed and cry all you want. I got ice cream in the freezer and cable TV to keep you company...for awhile...then you got to get your ass up and go on. Agreed?" Polly said as she pushed some of Piper's hair out of her eyes. **_

It took three months and Polly nearly kicking her out on her ass for Piper to actually get up and start her life again. She took some courses at NYU on web design. She lost twenty pounds she didn't have to lose and didn't date for over a year. She went out with two girls after Alex but didn't really feel anything until Larry.

Now she just wanted all of her feelings to stop and for once she wanted to feel numb. What had Alex said? She had turned to heroin after a break up. Piper had never done a hard drug in her life, but if it made her not feel this, she'd taken it right then and there. The clinic gave her something for her stomach and told her to go back to her bunk to rest. She carried her bucket with her as she walked back. She saw Leann in the hallway sweeping as she passed by Healy's office. She didn't look at her but the girl stopped and stared at her as the passed.

"You should be in the SHU or Down the Hill for what you did to Tiffany." she said. Piper stopped walking and noticed other girls coming out of the rec room to watch. She turned slowly in the hall and looked at her. Her eyes were red from crying and she looked worse than normal. She took a couple of steps towards Leann and she took a step back. Piper stopped advancing and took a deep breath. She couldn't get used to people being afraid of her.

"I should be lots of places. I should be working with my friend. I should be eating out at my favorite café. I should be going for a run in the park. But instead I am here. I am here because I fucked up. Tiffany is where she is because she is a crazy, fucking meth head that thought she was the Angel of death. Someone...decided to teach her that some Angels fall. Some fall to the ground with a resounding thud and wallow around in the muck and blood like we mere mortals. Now, my day so far sucks. I hands hurt, my heart hurts and my stomach decided to toss everything in this here bucket. So, right now, I should be in my bunk. If you want to jump me later, give it a go but right now you are going to BACK THE FUCK OFF." The last part she said as took a threatening step towards her. She heard Healy before she saw him.

"What are you doing now Chapman? Why aren't you at work?" he said from his doorway. He looked flustered and his tone was ice cold.

She turned towards him and then walked away as she said. "I'm apparently sick, so I was ordered to my bunk. Leann was just wishing me a Happy New Year. " She didn't wait for his response. She didn't really care if he wrote her up. Nothing really phased her now. She made it to her bunk and climbed in, putting her trusty bucket beside her. Once she was in the relative privacy of her own cube, the tears started to fall. When she closed her eyes she could see Nicky and Alex. She could see them in the shower, the Chapel...she imagined Alex with her head between her legs...or worse...much worse...holding Nicky. Holding her close under her arm the way Alex does that makes you feel safe and loved. She lost her future with Larry and her present with Alex. She lost it all by being Piper-fucking-Chapman.

She had imagined that if she defeated Tiffany everything would be better. That she would have respect and no one would fuck with her. Maybe that is the case on some level, but it didn't feel good having people be afraid of you. It didn't feel good to lose everyone you love because you loved two people at once. What was so funny really, was she has always loved two people, she just never told anyone.

She slept most of the day and when she awoke her head was killing her. Taystee was rousing her to stand up for check. She stood by the cube but kept her head down. The lights were really bright and even the sound of the guard's clicky things hurt her head. Her wrist was on fire and she resisted the urge to remove the bandages just so she could get some air on it.

She started towards the bathroom when Taystee took ahold of her arm and turned her around to say, "We are going to dinner now. Come on, you should at least go drink something. You look like shit, like you da one that lost."

"Dinner? what time is it?" Piper was confused, she had just closed her eyes for a moment on her bunk, it had been like 10 AM then. Taystee looked at her like she grew another head.

"yeah well I emptied your bucket after work, you slept through lunch. But you gotta eat something or at least drink something or you gonna end up back in the clinic." Piper nodded at her and went in to the Cafeteria. She saw Alex was sitting next to Nicky and she fought nausea again. Maybe she could just drink some tea. She smiled at the servers and offered her congratulations on the fine singing. She go a small blush and smile in response. It as followed by a very concerned look. She went and sat beside Poussey like she had at Breakfast.

"You contagious Chapman?" she asked, as she leaned over towards Black Cindy.

"No, I think it was just stress. I can go eat alone if you want." she offered as she stood up.

"No, Ghosty you sit down. I know you ain't sick with no bug or you'd be pukin' all day, even if you didn't have nothin' left in your stomach." Taystee said as she took Piper's tray outta her hand and put it back on the table.

"Ghosty?" Piper asked.

"Yeah like from the Christmas Carole, you know knock knock, mother fucker, Ghost of Christmas present is here and gonna knock yo ass and teeth out." she laughed and others joined in. Again, Piper was amazed really at how well read Taystee actually was. Well she guessed it was a better name than 'the Wailing Lady". She sipped her tea and played with her food until lunch was over. She was proud of herself for not even looking at Alex the entire time. She knew if she did, she'd toss what tea she got down back up. She showed Taystee her cup and she nodded with approval. Poussey pointed out that she did really help Tiffany..maybe now they'd get her some new teeth. She just shook her head denying it but did smile a bit when they pressed her.

Taystee looked at her plate and shook her head as she bussed it all in the trash, "You should have tried to eat too, but at least I know you not gonna pass out from dehydration or something. Come on, if you walk with me you can make it back to the bunk without having to see her." Piper was thankful that she said the last part in a low voice. She smiled up at her bunk mate and whispered a heart felt thank you.

Yeah, she was so bad...so bad ass, she couldn't even look two people in the face without throwing up her tea.

***sorry I messed up the chapter things on the first post. Let me know if you like how it is going. I really love this show and writing out the story helps with the very f-in long hiatus. Peace. FaeCym


	4. Chapter 4 Ghost in the Laundry

New Years came and went by almost unobserved in the dreary prison. It was rather easy to avoid Alex until Laundry day. She had tried to bribe Taystee with some Candy to take her bag down for her, but she wouldn't do it.

"Nah, listen, you gotta face her and do this. Once you do it and get it over you'll feel better and I can stop worrying you gonna starve yourself to death. Shit, people be thinkin' I foretold your death with the name Ghosty. Look if you want, I'll walk down wit you. But you gotta go in by yourself." Taystee said as she folded her big arms. Piper swallowed and stood. She wasn't going to be a baby about it. She had to have her laundry done or they'd not get a good cube score. She knew if they got another bad one, they might lose visitation. Not that she looked forward to it as her mother was the only one coming. She had tried to put her off but she was going on a holiday for a few weeks and insisted on coming to see her before going. She told Taystee she'd go by herself and walked out. She felt a few people watch her as she walked down the hall towards the laundry. She had like five minutes before they stopped taking bags.

As she walked she thought about visitation. She had removed Larry's name from her list two days after Christmas. She tried to call him twice and he didn't accept the call. She was bone tired, her wrist hurt like hell and she didn't want to see him or for him to see her like this. Piper was taken with the moniker Taystee and the girls had given her. She felt like a Ghost, paper thin and transparent. Anyone could see through her with they only stared for a moment. She wasn't solid and she wasn't whole. Never had she thought about anti-depressants before but she had considered it in the last few days. Maybe all the rage she took out on Tiffany's face had seeped out all of her sanity and energy with it. Maybe the real Piper Chapman melted away with the bloody snow.

Maybe.

Piper made it the laundry way too quickly for her liking. She saw Red walking by after delivering her bag. She was surprised she walked it down herself, then she remembered Red didn't run the kitchen anymore. Rosa did. She smiled at her anyway because she still scared her a bit. Red stopped her at the door and looked her up and down carefully.

"What is Rosa starving you out again? You insult her food too?" Red asked as her eyes rested on Piper's face.

"No..um I like her food. I mean...I liked your food too. I like..them both...equally. I have no preference either way." Piper couldn't believe her mouth. How had Larry put it...foot-in-mouth disease. Red held up her hand to stop her rambling. Piper shut her mouth and clutched her bag to her more.

"You are at least ten pounds lighter than you were at Christmas. I don't venture in to the cafeteria much to say for sure but I know you aren't eating. Whatever it is, go to the clinic, get laid, but start to eat! You must eat to live and if you not got your health, you have nothing," and with that Red walked on past her. Piper couldn't help but gape at the irony of that coming from the very one that tried to starve her to death. As she walked on she could hear some laughter but she didn't hear the sexy deep resonance that always made her weak in the knees. As she came around the row of dryers everyone stopped talking and looked at her. She really was hoping that this reaction would just stop after the Pageant incident died down. She walked over to the counter and handed her bag to a girl with long brown hair. Piper thinks her name is Jenkins. Alex used to say she was the only other one down there she could stomach. She got her tag and thanked her. Piper made it all the way to the end of the dryers without seeing Alex and she thought maybe for once, she was going to be lucky.

Piper turned the corner and ran into Alex. It was a full body smash. Piper fell backwards and landed on her ass. She shook her head and swallowed. Her stomach rolled and her tea and noodle broth threatened to rise.

"Fuck watch where you are ..." Alex stopped talking when she looked down and saw it was Piper on the floor. Piper got up as fast as she could. Perhaps a bit too fast as she swayed forward from the rush of blood. She cursed as clenched her jaw and straightened her body out. She darted a quick glance to Alex's face and saw a puzzled, angered look. Her stomach rolled again and she dropped her eyes to her boots.

"I'm sorry, I didn't see you." she mumbled as she walked around her. Alex reached out to take her arm and Piper jerked away. "I said I'm sorry. Really it is ok, my mind was elsewhere...bye, " Piper walked out of the laundry room still talking. She was such a klutz but was thankful she hadn't put her wrist down to catch her. Her knuckles were a bit itchy as they healed but the cut on her wrist just hurt. She got to the turn in the hall where she could go towards the Nurse to request new bandages or back to her bunk. Dinner was in about ten minutes and she just didn't have the strength to stand in line and wait on a form so she could see the Nurse. She headed for her bunk. Polly had sent her two letters with pictures of the baby and that seemed much more appealing than standing in line, mortified and trying not to think about how Alex's body felt when they collided.

_**She had collided with Alex just like that once during a fight. They were in Brussels and she was stomping around the motel room trying to find her handbag so she could go out. Alex was pissed off she was upset about the danger she'd put Piper in by asking her to deliver the case. She had promised never to ask her again but they had still fought over stupid stuff about the room service. Piper was angry, fed up with passive aggressiveness and she felt she needed space. Her purse had been on the desk and now it was gone. Alex just didn't help her look and she had run directly in to her coming out of the bathroom. That time Alex caught her before she fell back against the wall. **_

_**"Hey I got you. Easy, " Alex said as she pulled Piper in to her arms. Piper tried to twist away but Alex had pressed her more against the wall and waited. She put her forehead against Pipers and just waited. **_

_**"Stop..let go, I'm pissed Alex..I..." Piper stopped talking and after a minute, just sagged in her arms giving up the fight. She didn't want to fight anymore, she just wanted Alex. Rarely did Alex say she was sorry. She would be a bitch, cranky or derogatory towards Piper because of Stress, then make it up to her in some amazing away. Mostly though, she'd hold her like this and wait on her to relax in to the comfort and warmth that is their relationship. It was in these small quiet moments that Piper knew she was sorry.**_

_**This time however, Alex said it, "I'm sorry. I promised you that my work wouldn't touch you. I broke that promise. I'm pissed at myself because I should have known how you'd feel. Just..please don't leave me tonight. Stay with me, order whatever you want...just stay." **_

_**Piper pushed her back and Alex let her arms fall. She looked sad and like she really expected Piper to walk out. Instead, Piper took her hand and brought her to the bed. Turning she put her arms around her girlfriend's neck and kissed her with deep passion. She pulled at her shirt and made the little sounds in her throat that showed she wanted Alex naked, now. Alex complied and Piper shimmied out of her own clothing. She laid back on the bed and opened her arms. **_

_**"I don't want room service, I want you. I want your fingers inside of me, make me feel connected, baby...show me you want me to stay," Piper said with a husky voice. **_

_**Alex eagerly complied but before she lowered her mouth on to Piper's straining nipples, she leaned down and whispered in Piper's ear, " I want you to stay so much I hid your purse under the pillows." Piper had growled at her and bit her shoulder in retaliation. Alex had just laughed and moaned with pleasure from the bite. The sound made Piper grind her hips against her lover's thigh with need. Alex had responded by doing exactly what Piper had asked. She thrust her two, lovely long and perfect fingers inside her and turned them, flicking just so to make Piper cry out. It was hard and fast but just what Piper wanted. Alex's thumb shot up and mercilessly twirled and rubbed her engorged clit and Piper knew she wouldn't last long. **_

_**As she thrust her fingers in and out, with her strong arm and expert fingers, Alex kissed her again and then pulled her head back looking her in the eye as she said " I want you to stay with me always." Piper came as she said it, in between one thrust and the next. Her body had bowed and arched up off the bed as she screamed out her love's name. **_

Piper wished again she didn't have such wonderful memories of sex with Alex. It was made worse by her recent memories as well. She absolutely couldn't go near the Chapel or supply closet. All of the small nooks or crannies they had used to be together were just traps that made her long for her touch. She wasn't horny. She just wanted to be held by her. Piper was pretty sure if she tried to have sex right now, she'd get sick on her partner. Nothing sexy about vomit. After check, she decided to skip dinner and sat on her bunk. Taystee had left a hot cooked cup-o-noodles on her table beside her letters. She had to smile. Before she forgot she put the twix bar she got for Taystee under her pillow. She got it from Luschek of all people as a reward for separating a box of wires by color. It had taken her days to do it but she enjoyed the work because she didn't have to really interact with anyone. She and Nicky talked but just never about Alex, Larry or Christmas presents. Nicky wasn't her usual blunt self around her and kinda treated her gently. Piper supposed she could afford to be magnanimous since Nicky had Alex.

Thinking of them made her put her noodles down after a few sips of the hot broth. Taystee always filled it up past the line but since she mostly only drank the broth, she didn't mind. She read and reread Polly's letters. There was one picture of the baby. Adorable! As cute though as it was, she couldn't really look for long. It made her sad to think of how much the baby would have changed by the time she was back. It also made her think about the lecture her mother would give her about breaking up with Larry. Now there was no chance she'd get pregnant and give her grandchildren. She really didn't look forward to visitation. Piper put her feet up on her bunk and closed her eyes. Most everyone was at dinner so it was quiet enough for a small early evening nap. She was asleep immediately.

Piper had been dreaming about her brother playing a banjo and trying to find him in a row of boxes covered with tarps. It hadn't been frightening but it frustrated her, when she heard, "Hey, you don't need to be in here. She sleepin'."Taystee say and she forced her eyelids open. Someone had turned down the heat because she was chilled immediately and uncomfortable.

She blinked a few times and then froze when she heard the response, " I have something for her. I just want to give it to her and...come on," Alex said. Piper heard the calls of the others in the Ghetto dorm start to rise as they came over to butt their noses in her business.

"I bet you want to give her somethin', but thing is you ain't been invited and like Taystee said, she be sleeping," Poussey said. Piper sat up and cleared her throat.

"It's okay, thanks. I'm awake now." She stood slowly and walked over to the cube's entrance. Taystee moved over to sit on her bunk but she watched Alex the whole time. Piper looked up at her and tried so hard to hold her gaze. She didn't feel well at all and it was racking her nerves to be so close to Alex.

"You dropped this when you fell. You'll need it to get your bag." Alex said as she held out the claim ticket. Piper reached out and took it from her with her good left hand. Alex gave her a puzzled expression and her eyes darted to Piper's other hand. She moved it behind her back, though doing so made her feel like a child with her hand in the cookie jar.

"Thanks, I know you didn't have to bring it up." Piper said and was rather pleased with herself for her well constructed answer.

"I was going to give it to you at dinner but you weren't in there...again." Her voice probed Piper for information. Piper turned away from her and marched her tag over to her table.

She held up her cold, nearly full noodles and rubbed her belly. " I am on a noodle cleanse. All salt, water, carbs and preservatives...all the major food groups." She knew her joke was lame but Alex walked in to the cube and right up to her facet took Piper by surprise.

"You need to start eating and go to the damn nurse." Alex's voice was strong and not loud but still it made Piper wince. Piper just nodded at her and stood still. Alex looked again at her wrist. Her knuckle bandages were off but the one on her wrist remained. She had to go get it changed tomorrow and she would tell the nurse about her pain then. Alex leaned in closer to her and started to speak. Another chill ran the course of Piper's body and she jerked back. She couldn't take the chance of touching Alex and her body was reacting in strange ways today.

"Back off of her, you're making her scared or somethin', " Taystee said as she rose up and stepped up beside Piper. Piper started to protest but Alex just paled under the accusation. She turned and left without another word. Piper exhaled and thanked Taystee. She put on her jacket before she climbed back in her bunk. Her cube smelled like Alex. Piper realized the scent was the cucumber melon lotion she made her for Christmas. That thought made her smile as she drifted back to sleep.

** thanks so much for your comments...I literally am making this up as I go and posting with no edit. I beg forgiveness for errors!**


	5. Chapter 5 No Binky, No Say

_She was back in the SHU, walking down the hall with her hands cuffed. The screaming was worse, like she was in a tunnel and the acoustics magnified the sound. She passed one window and saw Alex's face. What was she doing in SHU? _

_Piper went to the window and stared she asked, " What are you doing in here? Are you okay?" Alex just stared at her. Her eyes were vacant and it scared Piper more than anything she'd seen in Litchfield. The guard grabbed her from behind and tried to pull her away from the door. She resisted and kept saying Alex's name. Finally, Alex seemed to recognize her and said her name. _

_"Yes, yes, it's Piper, are you ok?" before she could answer the guard shoved her hard towards the cell next door to the one Alex occupied. He removed her cuffs and she rubbed her wrist. The right one was very tight and it made her whole wrist feel like it was swelling in her skin. _

_She turned and asked the guard, "How long has she been here? Why is she here?" When she looked up to face the guard it was Larry. He was dressed in Mr. Healy's uniform and had a hateful expression. _

_"She is in here for loving you. Lesbian activity and she isn't getting out. Her whole sentence is in here now thanks to you. You really shouldn't have tried to kill the Angel Piper. Just as always, everyone else pays for your stupidity." She lunged forwards to beg him to let Alex out but he shut the door. She banged on the door. Hard like she did the night of the Pageant. There was blood on it but no one answered. She looked down at the grate and called out to Alex. _

_"Alex, it's me..it's Piper...come to the grate...talk to me...Alex? Alex?" _

**"**Wake the fuck up Ghosty, you screaming! Fuck you even sick over that pastey bitch in your dreams." Piper opened her eyes and saw a blurry, pissed off Taystee leaning over her bunk. She could hear other inmates telling her to shut Piper up and a few giving helpful suggestions as how to shut her up with a pillow. Piper tried to sit up and felt the whole room shift. She fell back down in her bed, shivering. Taystee brought her hand down on Piper's forehead. It had been a dream...just a dream.

"Shit girl, you're burning up. Reynolds is on in here right now, I'll go get her. Just stay in your bunk." Piper nodded but it hurt her head to do so. Her wrist felt like it was going to pop in the bandage. She weakly tried to remove it with her left hand.

The guard came in to her bunk and shined a light in her face. She turned her head and moaned. "You feeling bad Chapman?" She asked and actually put her hand down on Piper's head. Her hand felt cool.

"I think I have a fever. I had a dream..is Alex...where is she?" Piper mumbled a bit and then tried to sit up. She fell back and hit her head on her bunk. She winced and brought her right hand up. "My wrist is bursting."

The officer got on her radio and the dorm lights all came on. The girls were bitching and yelling about missing sleep. Reynolds and another guard, pulled Piper up with one of them under each arm. Taystee made them wait while she knelt down and slipped on her shoes. Piper thanked her and she waved her hand.

"You taking me to SHU? Can I be next to Alex?" Piper said as she was dragged out in to the hallway. It was early morning she guessed by the dim light that came in through the hallway windows. She tried to make her legs keep up but she gave up and let them pull her.

"Try and walk Chapman, I don't want to hurt you but pulling." Reynolds said. Piper lifted her foot again as they stopped and put them both down on the floor. She felt like she was walking in a kid's bouncy house. The other guard, got impatient and yanked her forward. Reynolds grabbed hold of her side and kept her from falling on to her face.

"Come on you stupid Junky" the other guard barked. Reynolds told him she wasn't a junky and to back off a bit to give Piper time to get her legs under her. It was then that Nicky came around the corner holding toilet paper. Piper had to squint because Nicky was jumping around so. Her hair was a bigger mess than normal. It made Piper smile but she stopped when she realized her hair was probably like that because Alex had fucked her all night in her bunk.

Piper sobbed and turned her head, "Go back to her, leave me alone." Piper mumbled. The guards moved her forward, lifting her by her arms a Piper tried to move her feet to keep up.

"Hey,Hey ..let me help. I'm sure if what she has is catchin' you guys don't want it." Nicky said as she inserted herself in between one of the guards and put her arm around Piper, supporting her weight on her shouder. " Shit Piper, you've really lost weight." The guards agreed and told Nicky to walk towards the Nurse's station. Nicky dropped her paper in the hallway and used her other arm to steady them against the hallway wall.

"She is burning up." Nicky said, looking over to Reynolds who nodded.

"She woke up the dorm yelling out for her girlfriend. One of those fevered dreams...as if this place wasn't bad enough, I bet her nightmares were horrendous." The guard muttered the last part but Nicky heard her.

Piper had turned her head and leaned it down to rest in Nicky's hair. She whispered, "Did she taste good? If you taste melon or cucumber then she put the lotion on her tutu, like Mom said. She always tasted like vanilla and cream to me, maybe it was all the lattes." This made Piper giggle.

Nicky adjusted her weight and shook her head," I'd ask who you are talking about or what a fuckin' tutu is but I think I already know. You gotta stop worrying about that kid, it is fuckin' with your head." Piper nodded against her neck. They were almost down the long hallway when Piper heard Alex's voice again. She was calling out to Nicky. Piper grunted and lifted her head. Nicky stopped walking and turned her head, looking over both their shoulders. Piper's head fell forward.

"I got her. She's sick." Nicky yelled back down the hallway. It was really loud and it made Piper's head hurt.

"Shhhhhh you'll wake up Larry. He has a big day tomorrow." Piper mumbled something about starting his job as a lesbian detector. This thought made her giggle. Reynolds told Nicky to carry on and yelled for Vause to continue on to the bathroom. Alex didn't listen and came up behind them, still clutching her towels and bath bag. She offered to help carry her the rest of the way.

"I could use some help, she can't get her legs under her right." Nicky said. Reynolds sighed and took Alex's things and let her move herself under Piper's other arm. Piper cringed and turned to face her. Everything seemed to come to her from a tunnel..far and wrapped in cotton so it was soft but muted. Yet Alex was clear and close...Alex who tasted like vanilla. '

Piper tried to stand up straight and walk on her own. Her leg were really weak like she had run too much. Nicky and Alex lifted her up and pretty much carried her down the hall and around the corner. Alex put her head forward and to the right, touching her cheek to Piper's. She hissed through her teeth and said, "What the fuck, she is burning up. I knew she was sick last night, she had this far away look. I told you to go to the nurse, god dammit Piper why don't you listen.." Piper winced.

"Fuck you. You hate me remember? I chose Larry and you didn't want to be my binky so...no binky no say. Besides I bet Nicky's pussy is hotter than my head. Best Christmas present ever, eh? " Piper said with venom. Alex tensed in her arms.

Before Alex could respond, Nicky said "Don't get pissed at me. She guessed it. Remember she saw us right after? I didn't say it she guessed it, then threw up in a bucket. I haven't mentioned you since. She's talking off her head, it's the fever." Piper mumbled to them to shut up and Reynolds agreed. They got her to the station and the guard had to open up. The night nurse wasn't in the cubicle so Alex and Nicky sat Piper down on the cot. Alex sat beside her and held her upright. Piper gave in to the urge and laid her head on Alex's shoulder.

"If Mr. Healy Larry comes by shout out, I'll move 'cause he gonna put you back in the SHU." Piper said to her quietly so no one else would hear. Alex brought her cool hand up and pushed the hair from Piper's face gently.

"I've never been in the SHU. You're delirious and having bad dreams, Pipes. Where is that nurse? She needs something for the fever." Reynolds sent the other guard to the employee break room to see if the night nurse was there getting coffee. Shift change was in about 45 mins so there was no telling where she had went.

Piper laughed and said, "Remember those shrooms we did in Rio? You were so sick. Scared the fuck outta me. You wouldn't let me get the Hotel Concierge. I was tripping and you were sick. Worst date night ever...but you were so sweet afterwards in the bath." Piper turned her head and nuzzled Alex's neck as she said it.

"Fuck you guys were in Rio? Was it Carnival?" Nicky asked. Alex tightened her grip on Piper.

"Yeah, Piper wanted to go. We'd been together a few months. I have never eaten shrooms since. Didn't phase her at all but I was so sick, for hours. She isn't very good with vomit and stuff but that night she rocked. Put me in the bath," she stopped talking and swallowed.

"You stopped shivering in the hot water and let me hold you. First time you said it...then you said it didn't count 'cause you were sick." Piper teased her and Alex smiled.

She darted a glance to Nicky who was listening, " It didn't. Just like what you are saying now, makes no sense and doesn't count."

Piper snorted and replied, "You just didn't want to be the first. Alex Vause, tough girl...no way you'd tell someone you love them while they washed the puke out of your hair." Alex smiled and Piper put her hot forehead against Alex's as they used to do. Alex felt so cool to the touch. Piper wondered if Alex wanted to lie down. She wanted to lie down. The nurse came in and told both of them to leave. Alex protested and told her to look at Piper's wrist. Nicky moved to the door and tried to get Alex to follow.

"Not until she knows, " Alex replied, "look Piper hurt her wrist...and knuckles a few week ago. I think it is infected, she isn't using it like she should. She stopped eating too and maybe that.."

The nurse interrupted her, "I have the inmate's file. Now get out of here before I call a guard to remove you." Piper pushed back from Alex and Alex stood up reluctantly. She moved to the door and stood just over the threshold in the hallway. The nurse got a thermometer and had Piper lie back. Piper could see Alex in the door and smiled at her. Alex looked as lost and scared as she did that day in the dryer. The day she failed to free her and got them both written nurse saw and turned in a huff. Piper watched Alex's face until the door slammed shut.

****Thanks for the feedback! I should be writing the last two scenes of Act One,(I'm a playwright) but I'd rather spend time with Piper and Alex!***


	6. Chapter 6 When Super Cunt Calls

There was an annoying beep that kept interfering in Piper's dreams. She was on the beach with Larry and he had just asked her to marry him. She felt the joy of the moment and then that annoying beep kept ruining it. She asked him if his phone was dying but he didn't respond. It was really getting on her nerves and she was starting to get upset that he kept ignoring it. Out of no where her mom was there and was telling her to open her eyes. Piper was furious and told her she could see just fine and hear better than most, because the beeping was getting louder.

And just like that, she woke up. Her mom was sitting beside her bed. It had been well over a decade-nearing two- since she had lived under her mother's roof so the whole picture was surreal. Surely, her mom wasn't in her cube. Just the thought of her standing there in the dorm made Piper cringe.

"There you are...oh Piper, it is so wonderful to see your eyes. Don't try to sit up, just rest back, they gave you something to keep you asleep and it is wearing off slowly." Her mom's voice sounded funny, like it did when she broke her leg horseback riding. Piper swallowed and licked her dry lips.

"I'm okay, don't worry." she croaked out. Her voice was a bit hoarse and she wondered how long she'd been asleep. Then her mom did the strangest thing, she cried. Piper didn't know what to do so she tried to lift her hand to wipe away a tear. She couldn't lift her wrist. It was then she looked down and saw she was in a hospital bed and her wrists were cuffed to the sides. Her right hand had a bandage, a soft cuff and a tube running out of it. The left one was cuffed with metal cuffs. She frowned and got a bit scared.

"It's okay, you have an infection. Which considering how dirty that place is, I'm surprised it took this long." There she is, Piper thought, there is the mom I know. She went on to explain that she had passed out with a high fever and was brought in to the ER. She said the hospital contacted her because she was family and they needed to know if she was allergic to any medications. It seemed the Prison information wasn't available. She had driven up with Polly and straight to the hospital.

"What did the doctor say?" Piper asked once her mother stopped complaining about the drive.

"You didn't respond to the antibiotics at first so they thought it may be a more strenuous form of staph infection. They cleaned the wound though and you started to respond after a few days. You would start to wake and they'd give you more drugs. When you were in the ER you ripped out your IV and demanded a grate be removed in your shoe. They said you were ranting like a lunatic." She seemed to try not to criticize but failed. Like Piper could control her delirious ranting.

"Is that why I'm cuffed down?" Piper pulled at the cuffs though she had learned not to do that, it just made them hurt.

It was the female guard, Gregory that answered, "No inmate, it is policy that you are restrained when in public...oh and you are always guarded. You have ten more minutes, Ma'am, I told the nurse she was awake." Piper tensed because it was so odd to have a guard watch her with her mother. Her mother was gracious though and thanked her. Piper just nodded and tried to relax her arms.

"Polly is coming right back in a minute. She went outside to call Larry. You removed him from your list, so he can't see you." Piper didn't mention they had broken up. She figured he would tell her.

"How..how long have I been in here, Mom?" Piper looked at her when she asked. She had no recollection of leaving the prison or being admitted here.

"Three days. The doctor said once your fever I completely gone, you can stomach pill antibiotics and your wound looks better, you can get out of here. he said if you woke up today that would be a good sign you're getting better." These were good things that needed to take place but she somehow thought her mom didn't want her do it too fast. Piper smiled at her and her mom stroked her hair back. Polly came in the room with a determined step. One look and Piper knew she was totally pissed off. Her mother kissed her head and told her she'd let them talk. The nurse came in and checked her vitals and Polly just sat beside her and waited. She didn't speak but Piper felt she was trying to rein in her anger.

Once the nurse left saying the doctor would be in later and Piper looked over at Polly. " Who pissed you off?" she asked.

"It's good to see you awake." Polly started, " I was getting bored looking at her sunken face. Really Piper, did prison make you anorexic?" Piper laughed at her comments

"Don't hide it. Was it Larry? Mom told me you went to call him." She tried to keep her voice calm. She so wanted to know how he was doing.

Polly sat up and looked down at her, " I don't want to tell you what pissed me off, because I'm worried about you." Piper watched her face and turned her head to the side. Again she wanted to reach out and take Polly's hand. But couldn't because she was an inmate in a federal prison.

"Tell me. I'm fine and so drugged up I doubt I could have an honest reaction. My emotions are as immobile as Joan River's face." She gave Polly a small smile. Her best friend sat back and looked down at Piper. The IV drip had stopped the annoying beeping but the sounds of the hospital filled the void of the pause as she thought.

"You want to know why I'm pissed?" Polly said and Piper nodded. "I'm pissed because of Super Cunt." Piper blinked and her eyes darted to the guard. She wasn't sure but she wanted to make sure Polly didn't say Alex's name.

"What did SC do?" she said. Polly knew Piper had never liked the snarky name Polly gave Alex, so for her to use it, even as initials was enough of a clue.

"I didn't call Larry because my phone rang. I got that recording, you know the one...and I was like...now who in the hell do I know there besides you? Then it hit me...I know only one other person." Piper couldn't imagine how the hell she got Polly's number then she remembered that she had written all of the numbers she had to memorize on a bookmark. Shit, Alex must have gone through her stuff or bribed Taystee to do it. Her stuff, she hoped no one came filtering through it.

"Did you accept?" Piper asked. Polly leaned forward and rubbed her face. She just nodded her head. Now Piper knew that her best friend pretty much hated Alex more than anyone she had ever dated. Piper hated Leo, Polly's old fiancé, for the same reason. He had hurt Polly like no other. She cringed at the thought of that conversation.

"First thing I told her was to fuck off and that she was a manipulative, lying cunt that had never deserved to breathe the same air as you, let alone share five years of your life." Piper smiled her appreciation. She didn't agree with Piper, because Alex was so much better than she ever gave her credit for...and maybe a bit more bad than she realized too.

"You know what she said? She said she agreed with me completely. She said that she had never deserved your love and she completely understood why I hated her. Then she begged me...I mean really begged me to tell her how you are doing." Polly had gotten up while she talked and walked over to the window. The last part she said with her back facing away from Piper. "She said they wont tell them anything about you, what's wrong with you, how you're doing, where you went...when you'll be back...nothing."

Piper put herself in Alex's place and felt a panic rise in her chest. What if she'd witnessed Alex rolled out in to an ambulance and then had waited days to find out what was going on. She forgave her that instant for going through her things. She waited for Polly to tell her what she said.

"I told her I wouldn't tell her a damn thing, that I was going to hang up the phone and call Larry. That he got to know how you were and she could just fuckin' stew in her angst. Not that I believed she really cared. I figured she had something to do with why you were sick to begin with and was trying to avoid more time for assault or murder. I asked her if she cut you."

"Ah that isn't fair Polly.." Piper began but her best friend interrupted.

" I don't care. She doesn't get to care Piper, she doesn't get off for hurting you. She is the reason you missed the birth of my child!" Polly moved over and sat down again as she spoke, her indignant rage rolling off of her like heat from pavement in July.

Piper looked at her with sad eyes and said, "No she isn't. I missed that and all of the other stuff because I committed a crime." Polly looked down an back up at her. She nodded and propped her head on forearms leaning on to the bed rail. Piper asked her to tell her more about the conversation and Polly continued.

"She denied knowing how you got the cut and said I should ask you once you were alert. She told me she'd been worried about you for weeks because you had stopped eating. Which I can totally see was right...then she told me it was her and another girl that brought you to the nurse." Polly looked at Piper to confirm that and after taking a moment to access her fever fogged mind, Piper nodded confirming Alex's account. "I went off asking if she thought I was stupid, that I'd believe she cared for anyone but herself. She told me she loved you...and I told her you were in critical condition and I didn't know if you'd make it." Piper shot up from the bed, trying to sit up even though she was cuffed down. Officer Gregory saw the movement and moved forward telling her to lie back down. Polly just hung her head.

"Tell me you told her you were kidding?" Piper's head was spinning.

Polly shook her head," I was so pissed I just hung up. I didn't even call Larry, I just came back up here." Piper wanted to tell her to call her back but she knew she couldn't. There was no way she could tell Alex she wasn't going to die. Surely though Alex would know it wasn't bad enough as all that. Still the doubt would be worse, make her crazy with uncertainty. She looked over to Gregory and the officer sighed.

"I'll set her straight when I get in to work tomorrow, Chapman. Don't worry any or you'll just get worse." Gregory wasn't half bad and Piper thanked her. It still meant Alex spent a night thinking she was dying soon, but it was the best she could do. She was furious with Polly but she somehow understood. It seemed like a petty thing to Polly, to make her think the worse for a few days. Her best friend had no idea what it was like to be denied access to information on the outside. She couldn't relate.

"If she calls you back, please set it straight. I'm doing better. I'll get out soon. " Polly looked like she was going to say something but decided not to . Piper asked her to call Larry too and to tell him. She asked Polly to make sure he wanted to be put back on her list and let her know. Apparently Polly and her mother were staying at a hotel a few miles from the hospital. They weren't allowed to bring anything into the room but themselves so Piper didn't bother to ask for some food. She was hungry now, which she took as a good sign. Maybe she was hungry because Alex told Polly she loved her...maybe she was hungry because for the first time in a long while, she was on the mend.

"You gotta go, times up. They can visit for ten minutes a piece, every two hours now that you're awake Chapman." Polly leaned down and kissed her head. She lingered a moment. Piper wished again she could reach up and hug her. She left without another word and Piper closed her eyes.

**She remembered that party where Alex met Polly. It was before they started to travel and Alex's business picked up. She had been calling Polly, Molly all night and it was beginning to wear thin. Polly was ready to leave and Alex was off mingling. Piper went to find her and found her in their bedroom. A handsome man walked out of the door as she walked in. **

**"Should I be jealous?" Piper asked as she walked up and took the champagne bottle from her hands. She moved in to her arms and kissed her lips softly. **

**"Nope, you know he just has too many dangly parts for me. Not all of use fall in the middle of that spectrum, my dear bisexual girl friend." Alex teased. " I seemed to have gotten a promotion." **

**Piper blinked at that and said " Should I be concerned?" Alex just sat down in that lovely leather chair she adored and pulled Piper in to her lap. They frequently made love in this chair. Alex would be working on her lap top and Piper would kneel down at her feet, place her head in her lap and wait. It always got her. Alex would stop what she was doing and turn, unbuttoning her pants or pulling off her skirt so Piper could delve in to the "rubyfruit Jungle". They had a home full of guests and the thought of that was very intriguing. It made Piper bite her lip in the way that Alex just loved. **

**"Stop that or you'll be screaming my name. No you shouldn't worry, it is a good thing. Just like any business though it means changes. We had better get back.." Alex said with a gesture towards the half open door that lead to the main room of their huge Manhattan apartment. **

**"Changes?" Piper asked with concern on her face.**

**"I don't know all of the details yet but when I do I'll tell you." She kissed her and Piper knew it was to stop her from asking more questions. She enjoyed the kiss and ran her hands up to her hair. She never minded when Piper did that, even if she just got back from the salon, Alex never minded Piper's hands in her hair. She did pull back this time and lift Piper up so she had to stand. **

**"Oh Polly is leaving and for Christ's sake please stop fucking with her and call her by the right name. She thinks you are an asshole and I can't really argue." Piper said as they walked towards the door. Alex stopped and she turned around with an amused expression. **

**"I can't remember everyone's.." Alex began to defend herself. **

**"Bullshit, you can recall names at a drop of a hat, some I can't even pronounce. You're purposely not calling her by her name so you can feel superior. You don't like how close we are and how close our families are to one another. Especially since I haven't and probably wont ever introduce you to my parents." Piper spoke all of this in a quiet sure tone. Alex just looked at her with that sad expression she sometimes has when Piper goes off to visit her parents on Sunday. **

**She nodded at Piper and walked out holding her hand. Piper knew Alex wouldn't argue these points now. She knew she was right and so did Alex. Sometimes, Piper thought it scared Alex how well she could read her. She was still surprised by Alex daily and that was an exciting thing to the twenty-three year old. She did say goodbye and call Polly bye her name and even made a half way decent attempt to invite her over for coffee during the week. Piper had been very proud of her and after everyone had left, they got lost in each other and yes she screamed her name. **


	7. Chapter 7 Here and Now

Piper got out of the hospital two days later. She was embarrassed to have to walk out of the hospital in cuffs and an orange jumpsuit. Polly and her mother had said goodbye in the room. Piper insisted they stay in the room as she left. She didn't want to embarrass her mother further. The ride was wonderful, it was a crisp winter day and the sun was out. She was happy to see Morello once she got back to camp. She had smiled at Piper and told her welcome back.

She talked non-stop about how Christopher had sent word with her mom, asking how she was doing. She explained he had a new job and that is why he hadn't been up to see her. Piper wanted to know how Alex was doing and if Gregory told her she wasn't on death's door. She sensed that Morello didn't want her to ask.

Once they got out she looked up at the window. She could see girls looking down, she saw Nicky and Taystee and waved at them. Then she asked, "What aren't you telling me?" Morello just looked at her with sad eyes.

"We were all really worried about you. You looked so pale and sick when they took you out. She tried everything to find out information, then...she made a call and..." Morello stopped and walked on ahead towards the door.

Piper hurried to catch up, " I know my pissed off best friend told her I was dying. Officer Gregory was going to set it straight the next day." Morello stopped walking as they came inside and reached out to put her hand on her shoulder.

"She never got to see Vause. This is just so awful..."she began to explain but was interrupted by Poussey as she came up behind them.

"Ghosty you got some color! Welcome back, though I can't say you should feel glad. I bet the hospital food was ...um good." Poussey and a few others gathered about. The officers moved her own and told them to break it up. Officer Murph told her she had to stay in the room until they were sure she was healthy enough for the dorm. Piper protested but it was useless. They said her things were already in the room and she'd get a new bunk assignment then. She was almost to the room when Nicky stepped in front of her.

"Good to see you aren't dead. That was a fuckin' mean thing to do to her Piper. I know you two are pissed at each other but no one...I mean NO ONE should be made to think someone they care about is dying while in here. I thought you had more class than that." Nicky looked really pissed.

"I didn't talk to her, it was my friend Polly. She...look my family and friends hate her ok? To them she is the whole reason I'm in here. Gregory was supposed to tell her the truth when she got back on duty." Nicky turned away and Piper moved as fast as she could to get in front of her She wobbled a bit and Nicky reached out to steady her.

"Thanks, not got my land legs under me yet. It wasn't like I could call her back. Where is she, let me tell her now.." Nicky looked down. It wasn't like her to be like that and it scared Piper. Where was Alex? Why wasn't she here to greet her?

"Tell me." Piper said.

"She is in the SHU, she smashed a tray up against Leann's head about ten minutes after she got off the phone with her asshole of a friend." Piper brought her hand to her mouth and started to shake. Nicky guided her by her arm to her room and had her sit down on the bunk that had her box of stuff sitting on it.

"I have to explain. She...she wouldn't have done that...Alex would have gotten back at her in a different way, it was grief. Fuck. She can't be in the SHU, she can't..." Piper started rocking back and forth a bit and Nicky squatted down in front of her.

She took Piper's head in her hands and said, "Calm down. It is her first big fight, she will probably get out in a week." Piper sobbed at the thought of Alex there that long. Nicky just shook her head and helped Piper lay down on her bunk. "You're still weak. If you go getting all upset over this you'll have a relapse and end up in Psyche. Calm down and talk to Healy, maybe he will.."

"Fuck Healy! That prick tried to kill me." Piper said without thinking. Nicky looked at her and she bit her lip.

"Tried to kill you? I...don't want to know. Well, talk to Kaputo...pour on the tears, maybe he will tell Alex you are here and ok. But first, just put your stuff away and rest. Lunch is in a half an hour so I'll see you in there. I'll walk with you to Kaputo's office before I head back to work. It'll be okay." Nicky rose and walked towards the door.

Piper spoke as Nicky approached the threshold, "You're a good friend. I'm glad...well that if it had to be anyone at least it was you." Nicky turned around and smiled.

"You've no idea what went on between us Piper. It really wasn't all that...it is hard to start something up with anyone when they are flat fuck in love with someone else. You two are more ansty than all of the L Word episodes rolled up together. Just rest, I'll see you in a little while." Piper thought about what she said as she walked out. She put up her things and laid down on the bed. She was missing a few books and figured Taystee took them. It was all good. She owed her more than that for taking care of her. She hoped her next bunk mate was as kind.

It was Morello that woke her up to come to lunch. She had dozed in her bunk. Many of the girls waved and asked her how she was doing. Piper felt a bit overwhelmed. She wasn't in the least bit hungry. She didn't want to eat while Alex was in the SHU eating mystery loaf. Yet she knew they were watching. Romano gave her a special tray, it had softer food on it and two of the sections contained apple sauce. When she inquired, Morello told her she had a special diet until the doc said she could handle more solid food. Cindy wasn't back on the line yet and she made a mental note to ask Nicky about her.

She ate almost all of her food and that seemed to please everyone. She waited for Nicky to finish and then they both walked to Kaputo's office. He invited them inside.

"So good to see you awake, Chapman. I hope this teaches you not to hit doors. What can I do for you?" He seemed relaxed behind his desk and Piper couldn't help but remember the last time she was in his office.

"Yes Sir, I'm thankful of the care here and at the hospital. I um...I wanted to ask a fav...um I mean, would you please go to the SHU and tell Alex Vause I'm here and okay? The only reason she went off was my friend, Polly, had taken her call and then got mad and told Alex I was way worse than I was..." She was running all of her sentences together. Kaputo held up his hand and looked at Nicky to translate.

"Vause called her friend to get info, the bitch lied and hung up on her, Vause was in the Cafeteria and that other meth head, Pensatucky's friend, made a comment about how Piper's death would be retribution for what happened and Vause hit her in the face with her tray. She also cussed out the Officer that pulled them apart and got sent to the SHU. None of it would have happened if she hadn't been worried about Chapman. Look, we just don't want her to spend all of her time in the SHU thinking Chapman is dead." Nicky explained. Kaputo put his hands together and looked at them both. Chapman bit her lip nervously.

"I tell you what Ladies, I will go down and see her myself. I will tell her that Chapman is back and looking well. However, I want something in return." Chapman and Nicky looked at each other and then Kaputo. It wasn't good when they wanted to trade favors. Chapman still remembered the phone incident with Healy.

"I want Chapman to tell her fiancée about all the good work and kindness she sees from my guards. If he is going to write article about this prison, he should use all the different angles." Piper took in a deep breath. Nicky looked at her and back at him. They didn't know Larry wasn't her fiancée anymore. She had to be careful how she put the next statement.

"He is researching for another article. I promise to tell him about the kindness of officials such as yourself and guards like Bennett, Reynolds and Gregory. Each of them do their jobs but don't take pleasure in their control over us. I will personally mention your name but what he writes is always up to him and his editor." Piper was clear with him. To her surprise he turned his phone around and handed her the receiver. Obviously he wanted her to do it now.

She took the phone and dialed Nine to get out like she had before. It rang once and Larry picked up.

"Piper, Piper is that you?" He sounded worried. Tears sprung to her eyes hearing his voice and she swallowed them down to reply.

"Yes, I don't have much time. I wanted to let you know I'm back at Litchfield and doing much better." He seemed relieved and told her that Polly called him from the car. "I'm glad. Look I know you are researching that second column for the Times. I just wondered if you knew some of the great things that people do for me in here."

He got quiet and then said "Someone is listening aren't they?"

"Yeah, I know it is random but I thought this was important. Mr. Kaputo let me use his phone. He was the same one that let me the first night in here. He is really nice and does his job with dignity. Many of his guards are great as well." It was the most awful conversation she ever tried to have. She heard Nicky huff beside her and cross her arms. She hoped Nicky didn't spread this all over the prison. She wasn't a cheerleader for the guards.

"Ok Piper, I will make a point to mention the good parts, if there is any, of your incarceration. Are you going to put me back on the list?" Piper blinked and swallowed.

"Once I'm feeling better...I don't want anyone to see me like this.." she said, looking down at her thin body. Nicky put her hand on her shoulder and glared at Mr. Kaputo for making her have this private conversation like this

"Piper we need to talk. We need to settle...Piper you have no idea what it was like, just waiting around for information from Polly." She smiled in to the receiver but couldn't help but compare how hard it really must have been for Alex to be desperate enough to call Polly.

"I'll call you later in the week. We'll talk more about it then. Love you, bye." she said quickly and hung up the phone. Kaputo seemed pleased.

"I will go today to talk to Vause. Thank you inmates, Nichols you get back to work and Chapman, you go back to your bunk, you look like a stong wind could blow you over." The girls walked out of his office. Piper hoped he would actually do what he said. There wasn't anything else they could do. Nicky waved her goodbye and walked outside towards the electrics shack as she headed back to her bunk. It was quiet in the dorm area as most were at work. She tried to sit up on her bunk and just rest but soon she was dozing in and out of a dream state.

**She remembered waking up once in Java, before she got sick. Alex was unusually sappy that morning and woke her up by kissing her face all over. Piper had smiled up at her and Alex just stared in to her eyes for the longest time. Sometimes, when she was like this, Piper could imagine spending the rest of her life in her arms. They didn't make plans for a life together, they didn't talk about when Alex stopped running drugs...they just lived in the now. It was very exciting but sometimes it scared her. She wasn't sure if what scared her was the not knowing or the fact that she didn't care as long as she got Alex out of it all. **

**"What are you thinking?" Alex asked her. Piper reached up and pushed some hair behind her ear. **

**" I was thinking what it would be like to grow old with you. I was thinking that we never talk about the future." Alex pulled up and sat on the edge of the bed. Piper immediately missed her warmth and sat up herself beside her **

**"The future hasn't happened yet so what is there to talk about? Here and now is all I have to give you. You used to like that.." Alex began.**

**"I do. I love it...I love you. I just wonder sometimes. It's natural." She leaned over and nuzzled Alex's ear as she said it. Alex took her by the hand and led her in to the bathroom. They had rented a small cottage in a village. Hot water was a bonus and a treat. Piper was delighted when she saw the steaming bath. Alex must have gotten up early to do this and it touched her. Slowly Alex took off her night shirt and then her own clothing. They stepped in to the hot water together and Alex sunk down first, opening her arms for Piper to join her. It was heaven. She loved showers and baths. She loved them with Alex much more. Rarely when they lived in New York did she shower alone. **

**Alex washed her body with sweet reverence. Piper closed her eyes and enjoyed the feeling of the cloth and the security of Alex's arms. She was almost surprised when Alex started to rub her clit with a soft round motion. She arched her back and moaned. **

**"I love you too. I wonder sometimes as well...then I know that nothing is better than right this minute with you. I am going to hold you at the edge of coming for a long time...until our water runs cold." Piper started to whimper. Alex could delay her pleasure to the point of agony if she wanted. Piper was like putty in her hands. She would do anything or say anything for Alex to fuck her when she was like this...and she'd feel Alex for hours afterwards. It would be all she thought about all day.**

**"Please baby.." Piper began. Alex laughed in her ear and brought her other hand up to grab and squeeze Piper's tits the way it that made her ache. Alex handled her body like it belonged to her. Piper guessed it did. **

****I hope y'all like how it is going. Weekend is here and life has me busy. I love reviews though and they inspire me to imagine. There are some other great stories emerging about these two as well. Yay fan fiction! Peace, FaeCym **


	8. Chapter 8 Your Own Worst Enemy

**So I wrote half of this and lost it when my IE crashed. I got pissed, drank a cup of coffee and finished it. It is different but I think a bit better than the first time around. Thanks for the reviews, they really make my day!**

Piper did what she had to do to get out of the room and back to the dorm. She ate all of her food, each meal, took her meds and rested. She helped Yoga Jones in the rec room with Yoga, though she herself only stretched a bit while sitting down. She found she actually wanted to go back to work so she could break up the monotony of the day. She carried her laundry down and found herself sad to see Alex missing from her usual spot taking bags. No one really said much to her and in the dining hall she split her time between sitting with Nicky and Taystee. They still called her Ghosty, though she had color back in her cheeks.

On Wednesday she called Larry. They had a long talk. Piper didn't cry, not once. His breaking up with her like he did at Christmas had pretty much exhausted her emotions on the issue. So much had happened after that. She found it hard to relate. He said he wanted to try again. He said he missed her and didn't want to give up the dreams they had together. It had been touching. However, she told him she was still pissed at him. Had he not lied to her about Alex, she never would have turned to her. She knew it was a cop out...that she turned to Alex because she still had real, deep and meaningful feelings for her. She told him that as well. She also told him that Alex wasn't with her and she was alone for the first time in a long, long while.

And that was all she could handle at the moment. He asked to be put back on the list and she said she'd consider it. After they hung up she called Polly and told her about Alex. She didn't tell Larry about what happened. She didn't want to share anything with him at the moment. So, she told her friend. Polly was taken aback that Alex had reacted that way.

"I'm sorry Piper. Not that she is suffering but that I played a part in it. I still hate her guts but I know you don't." Polly said in a quiet voice.

Piper had smiled at the back handed apology. "Well it isn't me you need to apologize to...and since I don't see that happening, I'll pass on your words once I see her again." Polly asked when she was getting out of the SHU and Piper said she thought she was getting out on Friday. She hoped so...her nightmare kept returning. She got most of her sleep during her cat naps during the day. She hung up with Polly after they agreed she'd visit her on Saturday. She worried mostly about how Alex would react. Her worst fear was if she just looked at her with that vacant stare. The scary one from her dream. She was a little bit scared Alex would smack her or push her like Piper had pushed her in the kitchen. She knew whatever the reaction, she'd take it without raising a hand to Alex. She knew they were through and had no illusions in her mind about getting back together. Like she had told Larry, she was alone now. It frightened her but what did she have to offer anyone at this moment in time? A half wasted body...submerged homicidal rage...an inept ability to ruin everyone's day around her. If she was honest with herself she knew she was depressed and had been before she went in to the hospital. She didn't want the 'sad pills' as Alex called them. She wanted to feel like herself again.

She was assigned a new bunk on Thursday of her first week back. Apparently she was strong enough now though she wasn't sure how they determined that fact. She was moved to the Suburb dorm, which surprised her. She hadn't seen Healy at all since her return and planned on avoiding him as much as she possibly could. She wanted a new counselor but didn't want to make waves until Alex was free. Her bunk mate was packing up as she moved her stuff in. She was getting out the next day. Her name was Amy and she seemed to be nice. Piper hadn't really talked to her before this. She had worked in the kitchen with Red's crew. She gave Piper two packs of tissues and a pair of warm socks. Amy was friend's with Yoga Jones so Piper helped decorate for her party in the Rec room. The parties made her sad and made her think about dancing with Alex. The thought of her body close and moving as it does to music made Piper's hands shake.

"Careful there blondie, you're shaking like an addict and I should know." Nicky said as she took the banner she was trying to hang from Piper's hand.

"Thanks, I'm fine though, just a bit tired. Have you heard..." Piper started.

"She will be out sometime tomorrow. I will meet her at the door...you maybe should hang back and let her come to you, ya know." Nicky tried to make her voice sound softer but Piper tensed anyway. She started to tell Nicky to fuck off...that she didn't own Alex...but she knew Nicky was probably right. They always watch the girls returning from the SHU and she wouldn't want to make Alex upset. She didn't want to see Alex hug Nicky anyway.

"Sure, no problem. I know my place now. I might get to go back to work tomorrow, since they put me in a bunk." Piper changed the subject quickly because she didn't want Nicky to talk about what her place was now in Alex's life. Nicky started to say something but Amy came in before she could. Soon they were all lost in well wishes, music and hugs. Piper wished Amy the best and slipped out while everyone was still partying.

That night she had the worse nightmare yet. It was always the same but this time Alex never recognized her and instead was begging for Nicky. She woke up in a cold sweat and didn't fall back to sleep. She was afraid she'd start screaming again and piss off her new dorm mates. She was told after breakfast that she'd go back to work on Monday. She noticed that a guard told her and not Mr. Healy. She guessed he was avoiding her too. That was just fine with Piper.

She went back to her bunk to rest when visitation hours started. She sat and waited to hear something about Alex. It hadn't been the first time she waited on Alex to return.

**Before they moved to Europe Alex left her for a three week trip. It was the first time they'd been apart since they moved in together. Alex didn't want to take Piper because it was a "business" related trip. She had told Piper to live it up, go out, have fun and enjoy her freedom from couple hood. Piper wasn't sure what that meant but she had promised to do just that. **

**She went out twice and spent the rest of her time on Polly's couch missing Alex. She would go back and forth between her place and Polly's trying not to think about how much Alex was enjoying her break from "couplehood" in Europe. Alex called her like three times and each time Piper fought not to tell her she missed her or sound sappy. Alex, didn't know sappy. She missed her though. She missed having her with her to critique people's wardrobe or grammar. She missed having Alex argue with her over literature or politics. She missed her arm around her at night. It was pathetic. About two and a half weeks in to the separation, it hit Piper that this was a trial run for Alex. That Alex had left her not because she had to work but because she was setting up another girl, another lover to be with her in Europe and she was giving Piper a taste of what life would be like without her. **

**It pissed her off. That night she did go out. That night she got drunk off her ass and let some model take her home. They were kissing in front of the girls apartment when Piper closed her eyes and tried to imagine it was Alex. The girl had looked like Alex, that is why she danced with her to begin with...but she didn't taste like Alex...and she sure didn't kiss like Alex. Piper made it as far as the girl's bedroom before she stopped what they were doing. She told her she was too drunk and needed to go. She wasn't much of a clit tease and she felt bad for doing it. To her credit, the girl was very kind. She called her a cab and walked her down to the front of the building. Her name was Max and Piper had seen her in a few print ads in Vogue. **

**"I had a good time Piper. When you get over the girl that has you all twisted up, give me a call." she had said when she opened the cab door for Piper. **

**"No, really...I am just too fucked up right now..." Piper began. Max put her perfectly manicured finger on her lips and leaned in to kiss her cheek softly. **

**"You called me Alex twice tonight. Now I'd fuck you anyway, because baby you are very hot and I feel confident enough that one night with me would erase her memory from your body. However, I think you need your heart to be in it. So, good night and um don't lose my number, " and with that she put Piper in the cab. **

**The next day she was still hung over when Alex called to tell her the number of her flight. Piper was pissed over the images she'd kept in her head of Alex with all these European women. She told Alex she couldn't pick her up at the airport but she'd call Monica to do it. When Alex asked why, she said she made plans before she knew the time. It was sorta true as she did make plans to go out with Polly and Leo to see a movie. Sure she could have changed those plans with one simple call but she didn't. She wanted Alex to know she wasn't the only one that could move on. It was childish and Alex was quiet for almost a minute after she told her. **

**"Okay Piper. I...hope to see you back at the apartment when I get back." her voice sounded strained like she wasn't saying everything she thought. **

**Piper swallowed and almost gave in but her pride wouldn't allow her. "It is a late showing, I may stay at their place. I'll see you the next day for sure." They said goodbye and hung up. Piper cried for an hour afterwards and packed a small bag and left the apartment. Polly had been great. She was hoping that they broke up but had enough love for her friend to just listen and not rock the boat. Leo had been an ass and asked if she'd still do a threesome with Alex if she dated a guy again. Polly had yelled at him and they got into a big fight. Piper just curled up on the couch and covered her ears. **

**She was a nervous wreck all day long the day she Alex was due back. She went running and doubled her normal work out. She thought maybe if she was exhausted her body wouldn't ache so much on the inside. The endorphins did help some and she was even able to eat a few bites of her dinner. The movie, to this day she can't recall what it was, ended at 10:30 and they went straight back to Polly's apartment. She made her bed on the couch and tried to sleep. At midnight there was a knock on the door. She thought it was one of Leo's friends. They would drop by at all hours to pull him out to party. **

**Piper opened the door and before her, standing in the hallway, stood Alex. She had her bag beside her and looked so out of place there that Piper actually rubbed her eyes. She didn't even know that Alex knew where Polly lived and was half convinced she was dreaming. **

**"Are you going to invite me in?" Alex asked in that sexy, husky voice. Piper just nodded and stepped back. If it was a dream, she didn't want to wake up. Alex looked tired but like everything she'd ever loved all rolled in to one person. She brushed past her as she entered and Piper had to close her eyes. **

**"What..I thought Monica.." Piper began. Alex stopped and looked around the small apartment. Her eyes stopping on the messed up couch before her. It was obviously where Piper had been sleeping. **

**"I had her drop me here instead," she said as she turned around and faced Piper. "You see, I didn't want to sleep without you again tonight. I wanted to hold you...I thought maybe you were with someone here and I was going to ask you to leave her..or him and come back with me. But I see you chose a couch over my bed." Alex's voice seemed so sad. Piper took one step, then another before she rushed in to Alex's arms. **

**" I thought you...I thought you wanted me to move on...I.." Piper looked at her and the tears started to fall. **

**"So while I was gone you convinced yourself I was trying to get rid of you. See, I leave you alone for a little while and you talk yourself out of loving me. That is a bit foolish, my gorgeous girl." Piper nodded because she couldn't really argue. " Tell you what, I'll make a deal with you, you don't have our relationship in your head for the both of us and I'll try to be more forthcoming with my plans. Your mind, though it fascinates me, is really you own worse enemy." Piper nodded again and Alex kissed her. The kiss she remembers perfectly to this day because it was hungry, desperate and told Piper more about how much Alex missed her than anything she said or did. **

Piper was still staring at the wall when visitation was over. She noticed there was a hush in the dorm but didn't really pay it any mind. Then, just as the door to Polly's old apartment had opened and surprised her, there at the entrance to her cube stood Alex. She looked thin, haggard and her eyes were swollen. Piper stood walked over to her. She was afraid but she looked her in the eye and to her relief her eyes danced with emotion. The vacant stare of her dreams was missing. She looked as though she was warring with herself or perhaps if she was trying to decide if Piper was real. Piper remembered how easy you came to doubt your sanity in the SHU.

"Hi." she said first. Alex reached out and took Piper's right hand. She turned it and saw the healing wound left from Pensatucky's cross. Then she pulled Piper out of the cube and down the passage out of the dorm, never letting go of her arm. They passed Nicky who just looked down and said nothing. Piper looked back but didn't ask Alex where they were going. She figured she was going take her someplace and smack the shit out of her. Piper was ready for it either way.

Much to her surprise, Alex pulled her in to the back of the Chapel. It was a familiar scene as she had done the same thing before. That time with Alex, the first time after all of those years had been amazing and thrilling. She was sad that this new memory would taint that in her mind, but determined to take whatever Alex threw her way.

Alex looked around to make sure no one was in there then turned to Piper, still holding her hand. She pulled Piper to her and wrapped her arms around her. Then she did something she'd rarely done before with Piper. Alex Vause started to cry.

.


	9. Chapter 9 Pulpit Confessions

Piper supported them the best she could as they sank to the floor behind the pulpit. Alex was sobbing and then took Piper's face in hands and seemed to stare at her with such an intensity that Piper started to cry as well.

"I'm here, I...am so sorry. Polly was pissed and just spouted off...she had no right to lie to you. I was out of it for a couple of days but they got antibiotics that worked and I got better. I tried to have a guard tell you what was going on..but by the time she got back to work, you were...did Kaputo tell you?" Alex nodded and then leaned in to kiss Piper. Her face was wet, her nose was running and she was desperate to feel something, but it was the most moving kiss she'd ever had in her life. Piper stroked her face and lifted her shirt so her hands could slide in the back and clutch Alex to her. This time she was the strong one and let Alex hang on her. She felt desire course through her body and she pulled back. Alex put her forehead to Piper's and they sat for the longest time. Piper slowly brought her body back under control.

"I want to fuck you so much right now, but you need to rest and I really don't want to step up on Nicky's girl." Piper swallowed after she said it and Alex just looked at her with a confused expression. She reached up and traced Piper's face with her fingertips, like she was memorizing it. Piper stayed still and let her touch wherever she wanted. They were kneeling close to one another and Piper kept rubbing up and down Alex's arms in what she hoped as a comforting manner

"I thought I dreamed him telling me that. I thought to myself, why would he come all the way down there to tell me you were alive? Why would he care? I convinced myself I made it up. Then Nicky...she told me you were back, doing better and in the Suburbs." Alex's voice came across as hoarse and strained as she spoke. Piper physically winced at the mention of Nicky. She smiled though Alex didn't seem to notice.

"I made a deal with him." Piper said.

Alex's head shot up and she looked in Piper's eyes closely, "Tell me you didn't suck him off or something equally gross?" Piper shook her head and Alex closed her fingers tightly on her arms and shook her some " Tell me the truth, God dammit, if he touched you I'll.." Piper put her finger up to Alex's lips.

"He made me call Larry and sing the praises of him and his guards. He thinks Larry is writing another column. It was embarrassing." Alex pulled back and dropped her hands down to her lap.

"Larry?" Alex seemed to just remember that Piper was engaged to someone else. Her expression changed again and she looked like she was going to throw up.

"Yes, Kaputo didn't know we had broken up. No one does really." Piper didn't go on and tell her that Larry wanted to try again. She pulled Alex in to her arms again and held her close. Then she took a deep breath and said what she knew she must, "I know you are done with me. I'm sorry I scared you with this illness and what not. No matter what happened between us, we never wanted the other one hurt... or at least I never want to see you hurt." She stroked Alex's hair softly.

"I'm confused Piper. You hurt me by choosing him and yes...yes I don't want to be your fall back girl...your fuck-the-one-you're-with girl. But I swear to God Piper, if you don't take better care of yourself, I will hold you down and force food down your throat. Even that disgusting loaf they kept serving in SHU." Piper laughed.

"I know the loaf, what is that? It can't be legal to serve that to humans." Alex nodded and wiped her nose on her sleeve. Piper reached in her pocket and took out a pack of the tissues Amy left her. She gave one to Alex then used another to clean up her face, wiping the tears carefully. She took their used tissues and put them in her pocket, then sat back and smiled one of her adorably cute smiles.

"We'd better get back for check. Are you in a room?" Alex nodded. They had given her bunk to someone else, which was fine with her because she'd probably wring Leann's neck in her sleep if she had to keep sharing with her. Piper leaned against the side of the Pulpit a moment and rested. Alex looked at her concerned and she waved her hand.

She smiled to reassure her, "I'm still a bit weak but mainly I'm relieved. I thought you might smack me or something for what Polly did. She said she was sorry by the way." Piper tried to sound convincing, Alex squinted her eyes at her.

"That was cruel and...look I know she has hated me from the beginning. Remember that time we went out to dinner, when we told her we were moving to Europe?" Alex asked. Piper nodded remembering. It had went better than she thought. Polly had just broke up with and had started dating Pete, so she was in a good place. They had told her they were moving to London together and Polly was sad about not seeing Piper but overall took it well.

Alex continued, "You went to the bathroom and Polly shared her real feelings with me. How did she put it, 'I don't know what it is you got on her, but you are going to ruin her life, I know it.' She told me that you were in love with me or the IDEA of me and that when reality set in that I had better let you go and make sure you got home safe." Piper blinked in surprise. Polly had never told her about that conversation.

"She has always been jealous of you...best friend being jealous of a girlfriend is normal. It doesn't excuse what she did, but come on Piper, she wasn't far off was she? YES I did the drop, I made the bad choice, but you gotta see it from her point of view, I'd never been there if it wasn't for you." Piper spoke the last part quietly.

"Maybe Piper, maybe you'd found some bad boy in the states and got messed up with him. Who knows. As you said, it was our life. We made it together. That doesn't excuse her telling me you were ..." Alex's voice broke and she looked down.

"No more tears, Vause...remember, just think of the story you can tell. How you spent a week in the SHU..." Alex smirked a bit as Piper pulled her up by her hands to stand.

"That is still my line." They walked out of the Chapel and back towards the dorms. Alex stopped at the door to her room and looked at Piper with the strangest expression on her face. Piper reached up, her hand shook and that pissed her off but she gently pushed her hair out of her face.

"Goodnight, Alex. I'll see you around, ok?" Alex didn't respond verbally, she just nodded. Piper turned and walked back down the hallway towards the Suburb dorm. She walked in and down past Nicky.

Nicky got up from her bunk and followed her to her cube.

"How'd it go? Did Kaputo tell her?" Piper nodded.

"She didn't believe him really, thought she made it up in her head. She seems better now. We talked." Piper sat on her bunk exhausted and leaned over resting her elbows on her knees so her hands could cradle her tired head.

Nicky signed a bit relieved. "So you two back together and everything okay in Not-Lesbian land?" Piper looked up at her and just stared. Why would she as that?

"Alex made it clear she wasn't with me anymore before Christmas. Look, we go way back, seeing me hurting...thinking I was on death's door...it fucked with her. That is normal. The rest..." Piper just shrugged and fell over on her bunk. Nicky came in to the cube and sat on the empty bunk across from her.

"The rest is fucked up. Truly you two take the cake, man. Anyone with half a brain can tell you are in love, shit even before you bumped nasty together at Thanksgiving." Piper frowned up at her.

She tucked her feet up on her bunk, shoes still on and said, "That isn't enough. I love Larry as well but it isn't enough to make a relationship work while I'm in here. It isn't enough for her to forget that I chose him. It isn't enough to erase the fact she..." Piper stopped talking. She wasn't sure how much Alex told Nicky about her case and she was pretty sure no one knew that Alex turned her in to the police. It was their business, just like those years together was their life.

Nicky seemed to glean her own meaning from Piper's words. She again started to say something but the light came on for check. Nicky quickly got up and went down the row towards her bunk. Piper stood in her spot and looked straight ahead as the guards when by with clicking away. When they had done check the usual three times, she finally took off her shoes and started to get ready for bed. Maybe tonight she wouldn't have that dream...maybe tonight she would dream of something wonderful, something like Alex's face when she really smiles. Maybe.

****I really wasn't sure what that conversation was going to be like, the characters are complicated and usually have to have their epiphanies in stages. I hope you are still enjoying the story. I know this one was short but heavy with emotion. Happy Sunday! Peace, FaeCym*****


	10. Chapter 10 Fantasy Sex Books

Piper ate breakfast with Yoga Jones and Morello. Alex and Nicky sat beside them. She stopped eating her oatmeal and was just listening to the conversations around her. Yoga Johns wanted her to eat more yogurt in case the antibiotics gave her a yeast infection. This started a stomach churning conversations about the worst infections they had ever had. Nicky won the contest when she showed her scar. Piper was thankful that Alex never got that bad. It surprised her really that Alex ever really did the drugs she sold. She had always avoided them, saying it was bad for business.

She pushed her food around on her tray some with her toast and was about to get up when Alex said, "Eat your oatmeal Piper." She said it in a tone Piper had heard her use before with people under her at work. Piper frowned and started to tell her to fuck off, when everyone at the table just looked at her. She decided to comply and took a spork full of the oatmeal and ate it. They just went back to talking but no one left until she was finished. Once they bussed their trays, most of them went to rec room to wait on visitation. Piper went back to her bunk to read. She was still trying to get used to seeing Alex and Nicky together. They were affectionate, didn't really touch but had a close friendship that was obvious. They bonded and Piper could see it. Nicky could related to Alex in ways Piper never could.

She tried to read but the words just jumped around on the page. It was frustrating to her. She had always been able to escape in to a book.

**Once when they were staying in a hotel in Berlin, she had picked up a fantasy novel. It wasn't her usual type of book but she had read everything she had with her. Alex was working as usual and was totally stressed out. Something had gone wrong with a shipment and it had her on the phone and her laptop for the passed twelve hours. Piper was laying behind her on the chaise lounge and was actually enjoying the book. It was the first in a series written by Jacqueline Carey. She was so engrossed in the narrative and the rising sensual situation that she didn't hear Alex ask her about dinner. **

**"Piper...Piper...Earth to Piper, " she said as she walked over and then snatched her book out of Piper's hand. Piper sat up and reached for it, clearly perturbed. Alex sat on the lounge but turned her back so Piper couldn't reach the book and read the page she was reading. "What, is my Piper reading a sex fantasy novel? Should I book us tickets to Comic Con?" Piper growled frustrated and tried again for the book. Alex just lifted it up over her head turned her cute face towards Piper.**

**"Well I have to do something to keep myself occupied. You are all stressed and have been working for twelve straight hours." Alex put the book, open to the same page, down on the floor and gathered Piper in to her arms. Piper looked down at her chest, her shirt was deliciously open and offered a better view than her searching eyes. She never really complained about Alex's work as it afforded them the lifestyle that Piper really enjoyed. Still though it was lonely being with her when all she did was work. **

**"I know I've been busy." She kissed Piper and gently pushed her back on to the lounge. Piper opened her legs and pushed up her own dress, she moved herself so Alex's thigh was pressed right where she wanted it. She bit Alex's lip as they kissed, capturing it between her teeth, she moaned in to her mouth. **

**"I think you were at a sexy part and I don't know how I feel about that. I mean are you hot for me or that character? It isn't that much different than watching Porn." Alex teased. **

**"No it's literature, not some man's idea of what is hot. Granted it is a genre of literature you hate." Piper began. **

**"I do not think Fantasy is its own genre..." she began. Piper shut her up by kissing her and running her hands up her back. She pulled and made noises until Alex took off her shirt. Piper expertly removed her bra as well. Alex pushed up Piper's dress even more and reached an eager hand down to slide in to her panties. "Yes just as I suspected, your reading has you hot..." **

**Piper arched her back and pressed her sex in to Alex's palm, then she looked her in the eye and said, "No, kissing and touching you has made me hot, wet and aching for you. Stop teasing me, Alex Vause and make me cum." Alex, in response, pulled on her panties and Piper tried to lift her hips so she could pull them down. Alex was impatient and ripped at them, tearing one side completely until she could drop her wrist and insert her long middle finger. **

**"Shit, Alex those are new..." she didn't finish her sentence as Alex started to flick that elusive spot that sent shivers through Piper's body. **

**"I'll buy you more." she said in her husky voice, then she lowered her head to bite and nibble at Piper's neck. Her free hand teased Piper's nipples with her palm. Piper was frantic under her and squirmed moving her hips in needy circles. Piper brought one hand down to cup and squeeze Alex's perfect breast, while the other scratched down her back. Alex liked to feel her nails, it always pushed her to go faster, rougher with Piper. Alex teased her so with her one finger and kissed down to the open front of her dress. Piper arched up again and tried to push her sex on to Alex's fingers. She made little noises, noises that sounded so animal like and full of need. Alex reacted with a sexy chuckle and brought her head up to kiss her. **

**"Please baby...please..." Piper begged as they touched and moved together on the lounge. Piper brought her thigh up just so and rubbed it against Alex's jeans. Her girlfriend's muscles tensed and she started to grind against Piper. It was amazing and Piper wondered if they'd get each other off that way. Alex however, was ready to possess her. She pulled out her finger and even before Piper could whimper her protest, Alex thrust three fingers inside of her deep. Piper gasped as she was stretched and full. Alex wasted no time, pumping in and out of Piper, leaning up to watch her face. Alex loved to watch her face as she came...as she fell apart beneath her. Piper used her nails on Alex's back and she hissed as Piper came. **

**"Yes...fuck yes Piper, lose it ...let go for me..fuck you are gorgeous when you come.." Alex said in her thick passion filled voice. Piper was lost, shattered as she came and clamped down on her fingers. Piper gasped and whimpered as Alex kissed her, continuing to pump until Piper came again...sometimes she would do it just right and Piper would come again and again, until she was exhausted and her muscles ached from the spasms. This time Alex was happy with just the two and pulled her hand away from Piper's wetness. Immediately Piper felt empty and missed the closeness. Alex moved to lay beside her and Piper brought her wet hand up to her lips. She licked each finger thoroughly and Alex moaned. She loved it when Piper did that. Piper wasted little time turning over and moving Alex beneath her. She straddled her and undid the buttons on her jeans. Alex grinned and lifted her hips, helping Piper with the removal of the last bit of her clothing. Piper pulled her own dress over her head. She wanted to feel Alex against her. Her eyes fell to the book beside the lounge and she got an idea. She picked up the book and handed it to Alex. Alex took it and looked confused. **

**Piper bent down and kisses Alex on each nipple and sucked one in her mouth. Alex moaned and started to put the book down. Piper let her nipple out of her mouth with a pop and said 'Oh no...you are going to read my book to me while I get lost tasting all of you. You stop reading...I stop sucking." Alex grinned and Piper lowered her head. It was the best book sex she had ever read. **

Piper was hot after remembering that day. She finished the whole series. It was the only one of that kind she had ever read. She'd seen other books by that author after they had broken up but she never read a one. She just got sad. It was time for visitation and she made her way down to see Polly. She thought maybe Pete was going to come in with her but it was just her best friend that walked in to the visiting room. Polly hugged her close and Piper closed her eyes to enjoy. It was good to be able to touch her, even a little bit. The cuffs in the hospital made it hard.

They sat down and Piper asked, "Pete come up with you?" Polly nodded.

"Our sitter fell through, so he is driving Finn around upstate New York. Sorry we just didn't want him to.." Polly stopped.

"No, I never want you to bring him in to here, ever. I want my first time to see him and hold him to be when I'm out and free. It's okay, I understand. Just tell Pete I'm sorry I missed him and give him a kiss for me okay?" Piper asked. Polly asked about Alex. She even managed not to call her Super Cunt. "She got out yesterday. We seem to be in a good place, not together...not hating each other. She was a bit bossy about my eating at breakfast, but other than that she survived. SHU is hell though and it is really hard on your mind. I never, never want her back in there again. I told her you apologized."

Polly nodded before speaking, " I didn't think and I should have. I see red when it comes to her, always did." Piper changed the subject and asked Polly how everyone was doing. Polly told her about Cal and his girlfriend, Neri. She had heard some things from Larry but it was good to hear Polly's point of view. She was listening when Alex walked in to the visitation room. Piper looked over and wondered who was coming to see her. Alex had friends that visited but it wasn't a regular thing. She gasped as Larry walked in to the room and over to where Alex was sitting.

"What the fuck! Polly did you know about this?" Piper asked. Polly turned around and saw Larry, then back to face Piper.

"No, no I didn't even know he was coming, I thought he was off your list." She said in a hushed tone.

Piper clenched her jaw and said "Apparently he is still on Alex's list." Alex looked surprised to see him but sat down at a table and waited for him to join her. Larry was looking at Piper like she was candy and he was a treat starved kid. He sat down with his back to Piper and leaned in to speak to Alex. He was upset and using his stern voice. Piper could hear him clearly.

"What the fuck did you let happen to her? I thought, maybe, even if you weren't on her 'ride' as you said, you'd at least look out for her. She has lost at least 20 lbs and ended up in the hospital." He fumed. Piper turned and started to get up to tell him to mind his own business and leave Alex the fuck alone, when a guard yelled at her.

"Talk to your visitor or get out Chapman." He said. Piper started to protest but Polly pulled her back down in her seat. Alex just raised her hand, motioning for Piper to sit down before she got her privileges revoked. Piper sat back down and Polly reached out to take her hand. "No touching" the guard said and Polly moved her hand back as if touching Piper caused her to burn. Alex leaned forward and spoke in a hushed tone to Larry. Piper clenched her jaw again grinding her teeth.

"Just relax, he just did this so he could see you. He knew full well I was coming up here and that you hadn't put his name back on the list." Polly said loud enough that Alex could hear. "He misses you Piper and was crazy worried about you while you were in the hospital. He still calls you his fiancé and spends time with your brother Cal. It sucks worse than before. You two need to talk."

Piper huffed, " I spoke to him this week. I told him I needed time. I am barely holding on here Polly, this push and pull along with the danger inside, it is wearing me thin." Piper closed her eyes and Polly started to reach out again and touch her but stopped. Alex rose from the table and walked out without saying goodbye to Larry. Piper was dying to know what she said to him. As she passed by their table, Polly reached up and grabbed her arm. Alex stopped walking and looked down at her.

"I'm sorry, it was a shit thing to do and I'm sorry." She said before dropping her hand back down on the table. Alex nodded and moved on to the room where they were strip searched. Larry followed the opposite way but looped around so he could pass by Piper. She looked at him as he did. He looked good, reminding her of home and things that made her feel normal. His clothes were a bit wrinkled and she wondered if he remembered to take the dry cleaning on Thursday. His eyes were shining a bit like whatever Alex said to him made him tear up. Piper frowned more. She was pissed at him for this stunt. Alex didn't deserve to be pulled in to this mess. She had no doubt that once she got out of the strip search she was going to the office to remove his name from her list. He stopped by her table and looked down.

"I love you Piper Chapman. Call me please." he said and then he walked out. Gone.

Piper sighed. She wondered if she'd survive all this love. The time was up then she got to hug Polly close. She felt their visit got hijacked a bit but she enjoyed seeing her anyway. She told her next time she wanted to see all the pictures of the baby and Polly laughed saying that was impossible. She left and Piper went through the line to be strip searched. When she was finished with the embarrassing, squat and cough, she considered going to the office and putting Larry's name on the list. She didn't though, she just walked back to her bunk, thinking about whatever it was that Alex said to Larry.

**I did it again with the whole, losing the first draft thing. I hope you enjoyed the second one. I figured out how to include at least one comment about Comic Con, yay me! Reviews, Reviews, Reviews please! Peace, FaeCym***


	11. Chapter 11Remembering Lover's Kiss

Piper saw Alex at dinner. She sat down in front of her and looked at her until Alex looked up.

"What?" she asked. Piper took a bite of her beans and chewed them slowly. Alex perked her eyebrow like she does and as usual was sexy as hell. Piper couldn't believe she was going to make her ask.

"What did you say to Larry?" Piper was going to apologize for him but really she had enough shit in her life to apologize for and she didn't need to add anymore shit to that list. Alex took a few more bites and put down her spork. "Nope, if I got to eat all of my food, you do too." She motioned for Alex to pick up her utensil.

"Bossy much." Alex retorted.

"Now you know how it feels. Tell me Alex, I don't mind if you talk with your mouth full. Tell me please." Piper asked the last part softly. She gave her the best sad eyes she could muster and hoped it worked. Alex looked at her and squinted her eyes as if to say she understood what it was Piper was doing.

"I told him that I fucked up. That I got really pissed at you and cut off all communication when you needed me most. I told him he was a fucking idiot if he did the same thing but he had to be real. He couldn't understand what it was like inside of here and trying to understand was a waste of both of your time. I told him I'd spent three days thinking you were dead or dying and another four convinced I had imagined you were alright. I told him that it changed me because I realized that I ..." Alex's voice broke and Piper leaned in closer. She put her foot forward and pressed her leg against Alex's leg so she could at least touch her there.

Alex continued, though she spoke so low Piper had a hard time hearing, " I realized that I didn't care for a world without Piper Chapman. That even when we were split and I was pissed at you for leaving me, I took comfort in the fact you were here on this Earth, making it a better place. I also told him that yeah you were fucked up, but even fucked up you were everything a person needs to be happy." Piper swallowed and put down her fork.

"Then I told him not to fucking come to see me again without asking and that it wasn't fair to ambush you that way. I told him to grow a pair and wait on you to ask to see him. Then I left..." After she finished speaking Alex picked up her fork and started to eat again.

Piper was stunned. She started to eat again and other people joined them at the table. She didn't know what to say to Alex. She had never said anything like that about her before. Alex could always share her feelings and thoughts, she wasn't cold by any means. When she would talk to her mom they always said they loved each other. She was raised with more affection really than Piper had been. Yet, in their relationship, Alex made sure not to be too sappy, too cute or too in love.

It was one of the things she loved about her. Oh god, how she loved this woman. Nicky and others were talking about the movie tonight. It was some lame comedy but it was new and that was good. Piper hoped she'd find her ear buds before it started. She sure wasn't going to share with anyone else. All she needed was someone thinking she was their wife again. She wondered if Alex told Nicky about Larry.

" I heard your fiancé came to visit Alex again today Chapman. I don't know if that is such a good idea. They may decide to compare notes. I mean what if you let him take you anal but never let Vause. That would just be awkward wouldn't it?" Some of them laughed and Alex smiled but told her to hush. Piper made a face.

"Night and day, they are night and day so they can compare all they want." Piper said. Alex looked up intrigued.

She leaned in, that teasing glint in her eye, the same one she had the night they met. "Oh...beyond the different equipment, how different could we be?" Piper looked flustered. She looked down the table and saw lesbians and straight girls. Hell, maybe they didn't know how different it could be.

"Well, with Larry it is physical, rooted in connecting but about the drive...the urge. Amazing yes, he is a generous lover that knows how to make me feel small, protected and desired all at the same time." Alex leaned up and her face changed. Piper thought she regretted asking.

Nicky probed, "And with Vause?" Piper looked at her and bit back a comment about how she should know. She took a breath and blushed some more, then explained.

"With Alex, sex was always an adventure. Never the same, never boring and always so intense that I'd feel it for hours. Not harsh physically, though um sometimes it was, but my body hummed with the feelings we created, like she stroked my DNA and made it sing for her." Piper said, as she dropped her gaze to her tray.

"Well Shit Vause, I didn't know you were a musician. You play pussy well it seems!" Everyone laughed and Vause elbowed her in the side. She was blushing though and Piper got some pleasure from that. They left the cafeteria and headed towards the media room. Piper acted on impulse and pulled Vause in to a supply closet after everyone had passed.

"Everything okay?" Vause asked. Piper looked at her and put her hands up on her face, stroking lightly at her cheeks she remove her glasses and moved closer so she could see her in the barely lit room.

"I wasn't eating because I had lost you to Nicky and it was my own fault. Even now, saying it, my stomach turns. I never thought I'd be here again, in your arms but I am. I chose Larry because he could give me a future but please, God please know it wasn't because I loved him one ounce more than you. I will never love anyone like I love you." Piper said that and leaned in to kiss her. Alex opened her mouth and pulled her close. Piper pulled back before she could lose herself in Alex. This wasn't a good time, they were expected in the media room soon. She slipped her glasses back on gently.

She started to leave and Alex said, " You didn't lose me to Nicky. We are close friends and yeah we fooled around a bit but you didn't lose me. You gave me up and she just tried to keep me together through it." Piper nodded and went to open the door. Alex took hand again and turned her back to her.

"Don't marry him yet. Wait. I know I can't offer you what he can...I know what we have here isn't...but please Piper." She looked down and Piper reached out to lift her face. She kissed her forehead and Alex stroked her arm.

"I wont cut him off. I love him too, Alex. But no, I wont marry him or make any plans for when I get out. Hell, technically I haven't gotten back together with him." Alex looked at her and Piper swallowed.

She let go of her hand and smiled, "I don't want you to cut him off...no that is a lie, I'd love it if you did, but I'm a selfish manipulative bitch. I do understand though that he is who you made your life with after me." Piper nodded and walked out of the closet, being careful not to be seen. She went to the media room and sat by the wall. She had forgotten to go get her earbuds but that was okay by her. She had seen the movie already.

**It was their third date and Alex had taken her to see "Lover's Kiss" a Japanese movie at an Arts cinema downtown. Neither had liked it but they enjoyed talking about the themes of the movie as they went out for a drink afterwards. They had kissed, heavily at the end of their second date, then Alex put her in a cab. Piper counted their first drinks at the bar where they met as their first date. Alex seemed so at ease in her skin and Piper found herself leaning closer and touching her most of the night. Alex opened the door to the bar so Piper could walk in and she smiled her thanks. She'd been out with a few guys in college who didn't even do that. She felt the presence of Alex's hand on the small of her back as they walked in and maneuvered themselves past the maître de to the bar. It was simple and respectful. It didn't scream that Alex was being masculine, rather that she was being polite. Alex ordered herself a beer and Piper ordered a glass of white wine. She wanted to keep her wits about her so she could remember everything about this night. **

**"So, you went to an all girls college. Did you date any boys while there?" Alex asked with a smirk on her face. **

**Piper sipped her wine and asked, "What makes you think I like guys at all?" Alex leaned back and looked her up and down slowly. The look in her eye made Piper's heart race and she felt flushed like she had finished one bottle of wine and was about to start another. **

**"You are bisexual. I'd say you've always been that way, maybe fooled around with girls in college, but dated guys as well. I doubt you have ever taken a girl home. Why should you? Just bring home the boys and Mom and Dad are none the wiser." Alex said this, not in a mocking way but matter-of-fact. Piper blinked and sipped her wine again. She had thought that before. **

**She decided to answer her, "I dated a few guys and a few girls in college and I brought none of them home. Not out of respect for my parents, but because I didn't want to subject my lovers to my family drama." She wasn't ready to discuss her parent's marriage, her father's chronicle cheating or her mother's love of gin. Not yet, she didn't know Alex well enough and those were things that Piper kept inside, way down inside. **

**Alex watched her expression and seemed to be sorry she framed her question that way. "I have always been gay. I don't ever recall wanting a man. I had a few guys friends but if it ever got physical I just wanted to push them away. My mom is great about it. She always said I was perfect the way I am, so I was lucky that way." Piper nodded and wondered what it would be like to hear that from her mother. **

**"I hope to meet her someday, she raised an amazing woman." Piper said. Alex looked at her to see maybe if what she said was the truth. Piper looked her dead in the eye and smiled. Alex leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips. Piper reached up and ran her hand through Alex's hair then pulled it back. " Oh sorry I didn't mean to mess up your hair." **

**Alex laughed, " Please, when a sexy woman runs her hand through your hair, that is never messing it up, especially when she looks at you like that." Piper laughed and dropped her eyes to her wine. She traced the edge of the glass with her fingertips and imagined she was making slow circles on Alex's navel. She looked back up and Alex's green eyes seemed to darken. She knew she was being coy and she loved how it made her look. **

**Alex seemed to have made a decision. She paid the tab and told Piper to finish her drink. Piper looked up a bit confused, but gulped down her wine. They walked out of the bar and Piper stopped on the curb to see what was wrong. Had she done something wrong? Alex hailed a cab and Piper stiffened, expecting to be sent on her way again. **

**Instead, Alex turned to her and said, "I want you to come back with me to my place. I want you to spend the night. I'll take you wherever you need to go tomorrow, whenever you need to be there, but tonight, tonight spend it with me Piper." Piper smiled brightly and answered by putting her arms around her neck, then running her hands up in to her hair and kissing Alex soundly. **

**"I'd love to and I have no where to be tomorrow, I'm yours until you don't want me." Piper said. Alex smiled a sort of sad smile.**

**"I hope you mean that Piper, because you'll find my wanting you may have no bounds." Piper nodded and felt her stomach flip as they sank down in to the cab.**

The room laughed at all the funny parts and Piper enjoyed watching them so unguarded and so pleased. Alex was sitting down front by a girl she didn't know. She didn't have her ear buds either. It was as if she felt Piper's eyes on her because she turned and looked back. Piper smiled and waved at her and mouthed "I've seen it". Alex nodded saying she has as well, but kept looking at Piper. Piper bit her lip and Alex's eyes darted to her mouth. Piper smiled and stopped biting it. Alex gave her a look that said she knew what she was thinking but she turned back around to watch the silent movie on the wall. It wasn't "Lover's Kiss" but somehow she knew, Alex was remembering that night as well.

**It was a crazy weekend for me, burned my arm baking and cranked out way many chapters than I thought possible. I tell you it is all the reviews that push me to write more. I also had Alex call her bi because for some reason Jenji doesn't ever use that term on the show. As a bisexual female, that is in a happy same sex relationship for 15 years now this baffles me. If you really like the show, I encourage you to learn more about Piper Kerman, the real Piper and her story. She has a lot to say about Prison and sentencing laws here in the US. Peace, Faecym***


	12. Chapter 12 Holding

She was outside on the track running in the cold Wind when she saw Alex next. Alex didn't run but she stopped by the track and watched Piper. She wasn't going to over do it, just a few laps. She just missed the air and the feeling of cold air in her lungs. Piper stopped in front of Alex and breathed a bit hard. It was kind of embarrassing. She didn't realize how much her illness had taken out of her.

"Don't over do it...catch your breath and walk with me." Alex said in a soft voice that seemed to float to Piper on the cold breeze. She was wearing the mittens and scarf they provided. Piper always found them to be too itchy. She nodded and started to walk with her. Alex hated the cold, always had. Once she asked her about it and Alex had told her she spent too many nights cold without proper heat growing up.

Alex started talking about a book she was reading. It was a southern fiction that had been made in to a movie. Something she never would have bothered with before incarceration.

"Yeah it is amazing what you find interesting in here. Do you get many books sent to you from friends?" Piper asked. She wanted to know who the red head was that visited Alex twice a month. She didn't ask though. What if Alex said she was her girlfriend? Piper would freak out to know Alex had someone waiting on her. That wasn't fair of her, but then again, she wasn't a fair person.

"I get some yeah. Some magazines...is Cal sending you books on living in the wild?" she asked. Piper rolled her eyes and told her about how he is trying to live off the land with his new girlfriend or maybe it as fiancé she wasn't sure." Alex listened as Piper went on about how family dinners at Cal would go with various small furry animals and pot brownies. They laughed and walked.

There was a lull in conversation when Piper got up her courage to ask, "if I told you I just want you to hold me now and again...that I would be happy if I could just close my eyes in your arms...would you say no?" She stopped walking and looked at her. Alex cast her gorgeous eyes to the tops of the trees where the afternoon sun was making a valiant attempt to warm the frozen Earth.

"Would I be the only one holding you in here?" Alex asked. Piper blinked. She thought for a moment that Alex was kidding but she could see her earnest expression behind her glasses.

"Yes. You know I...fuck Alex, there is no one else." She moved closer as she said it. She wondered then if Alex thought she was with someone else Silly, silly drug dealer. "I understand you may need more from other women. I...just don't want to see it." Piper looked down and started walking on, Alex took a quick step and caught up. She didn't answer for half a lap.

"Yes. But I don't think we will stop at holding. We can give it a try though." Piper peeked over at her and smiled. She would be happy with just holding each other, she'd have to be. " So I take it you don't want to do a threesome with me and Nicky in the back of the laundry room?" Alex asked casually. Piper growled her response. Alex laughed.

"No...if you want that, you are asking the wrong woman. I wasn't ever really good at sharing you, if you recall." Piper reminded her. Alex laughed and they started to walk in when the guard told them time was up.

"OH yes , that girl in Indonesia. The one that wanted to go home with us, you thought I was interested just because I wanted her to tell her who she got her drugs from and bought her more drinks. You nearly got yourself knifed by throwing that white Russian in her face. Lucky for me you were kinda drunk because I was able to get you out and in a cab before she returned with her friends." Piper looked at her incredulously.

"You did that on purpose because I had won the bet that I could get three guys to give me their number, even if I couldn't speak their language." Piper huffed. Alex agreed and threw up her hands. They came in and went to their bunks for check. Piper was ecstatic that Alex said yes. She wasn't ready for more with her yet, she too knew they wouldn't be able to keep it to just holding each other. Yet she was going to try. She had to call Larry too but didn't really know when she would or what she was going to say to him. She missed the life they made and she missed his kind, gentle love. She just felt more and more alien to that woman and didn't think it was fair to him to pretend she was the same person he fell in love with. Maybe she would be the same again once out, but right now she wasn't. Right now all she wanted was to be held by the woman who put her in here. She sighed and thought not for the first time that she is one fucked up woman.

They ate, it was some roast beef with a green metallic looking tint to it. Piper ate all of the cucumbers and beans instead. Alex sat the table over and checked her plate twice to make sure Piper was eating. She was walking back when she heard a whistle coming from the short hallway to the Chapel. She looked behind her and in front then darted in to the hallway. Alex appeared from behind the open door and pulled her in to the Chapel. This was fastly becoming 'their place' though she knew it was shared with many girls. Alex didn't speak, she just sat down behind the pulpit and opened her arms. Piper sat and laid her head against Alex's chest and closed her eyes. Once her arms closed around her, Piper felt the tears well up. She didn't sniffle or try to keep them inside, she just snuggled in to her more and nuzzled her neck.

"The first time you fell asleep in my arms was in my old apartment. It was the first weekend we spent together and I'd kept you awake most of the night making love. I was reading the paper and you climbed in to my arms like a lazy house cat and fell to sleep. I remember thinking, 'look how she trusts me already, don't fuck it up with this one Vause'. I never could take my own advice." She laughed at herself as she said bit but tightened her arms around her. Piper remembered that day clearly. It was before she really knew. It was that day, on that couch that Alex had told her she wasn't joking about running drugs. She told her how she got in to it, how she pretty much managed it like a business and how she understood if Piper didn't want to keep seeing her.

"You were honest with me from the start about what you did. I thought it was exciting, I thought you were the best lover I'd ever had." Alex laughed.

"Wasn't I? I mean you weren't a virgin but come on, you were what, 22 maybe 23?" Piper pulled her head back, she didn't wipe her tears but smiled for Alex. Alex reached up and traced them down her face with soft fingertips.

"Yeah I was young. You weren't that much older, just...better in bed. Must have been all those nights I spent with college boys that didn't know what they were doing." Piper joked and nuzzled her neck again. Vause nodded and stroked Pipers back in small circles. They were quiet after that.

Piper wasn't aware of how long they stayed there but too soon Alex said," We have to go, there is a night service in here tonight. Wouldn't want the Chaplain to discover us and have them give us a shot." Piper reluctantly left her arms and stood. She extended a hand and Alex took it to rise. They were standing very close when Piper leaned her forehead in to touch her love. They stood for a moment like that.

"See, we did it. Just holding...no kissing...or sucking or stroking..or anything that would make us want to get naked." Piper grinned as she said it and Alex gave a husky chuckle and they started to walk towards the door. Piper missed the closeness already.

" I wanted you naked the minute you walked in here with me, I just respected your request." Piper stopped at the door and turned.

"Wait, you said you didn't want to be the 'fuck-the-one-your-with- girl. I was trying to respect your wishes." Piper was confused. Alex nodded.

"I meant it but my pride has more willpower than my flesh when it comes to you. Now you better get going, before they realize you ever came back from dinner." Alex turned and walked the opposite way towards the rooms. She watched her disappear around the corner before she headed her own way to the dorm. Alex Vause confused the fuck out of her. Nothing new, she'd been doing it ever since she met her. All of this emotion had Piper exhausted. She laid down on her bunk once she got back and closed her eyes.

"Here is your new bunk, inmate. I don't want any shit from the two of you. I think it is a mistake to put you here but Kaputo ordered it." Piper opened her eyes and to her utter amazement, there stood Alex with her laundry bag. Piper shot upright.

"No problem here Sir, we will be perfect angels." Alex responded in her droll manner. He just snorted and moved on down the cubicle line. Alex looked at Piper and shrugged. " No Snoring bunky, or I'll pinch your nose till you wake up." Piper laughed right out loud and leaned back against the wall.

Then she stood and did her best Miss Claudette imitation..."That is your bunk, those are your hooks, my floor is my pride, so shoes off. I get honor cube, um once in awhile, so clean up after yourself, and NO leaving food around. I don't want rats and bugs, got it? Oh and leave your drama out as well, you and I create quiet enough on our own." Piper was complete flabbergasted when the entire Dorm started to cheer and yell how much they agreed. She ducked down embarrassed. Alex doubled over and laughed and laughed.

**short one today, hope you're having a good Monday. check this out 2013/07/19/orange-is-the-new-black-season-1-finale / please review!


	13. Chapter 13 Caged Temper

Piper found it hard to sleep. She could hear Alex breathing but she seemed so far away. She turned on her side and watched Alex sleep. She could see her in the light of the Exit sign. It was never quiet in prison, even as they slept people would moan, snore or talk quietly in their bunks. She usually had a hard time falling to sleep because of that reason, but tonight she wanted it to be more quiet so she could hear each of breath Alex took.

"Stop looking at me, Pipes and close those sweet eyes." Alex mumbled, not opening her eyes. Piper laughed softly and closed her eyes. "Imagine we are asleep in that hammock you loved so much in St. Tropez. The tide is coming in slowly and there is a warm breeze that filters in over us like a blanket. " Piper slowly lost consciousness listening to Alex's voice.

The next day they got up early and went to shower early together. Piper took a stall and Alex was beside her. It was the first time she'd really been in the same dorm with her so she got to see her all the time. It was amazing. She finished first and came out to brush her teeth and hair. She saw a girl, Joann, she thought was her name, watch Alex as she came out of the shower. She came up behind her and undid her towel, looking down Alex's body with a hungry gaze. Piper felt her stomach drop and her blood boil. Alex took her towel back and told her the stall was open.

Joann got closer to Alex and seemed to whisper something to her. Piper clenched her teeth and walked out of the shower. She went to get dressed and decided to run before breakfast. She had to wait by the outside door for the guard to open it up. It was very cold as she started to run. She was wearing her warm up suit and not her big jacket. It didn't matter much as she started running. She just tried to clear her mind of the vision of that girl leaning in to flirt with Alex. She found her stride and just kept running.

**Once back in New York they had a fight. It was about something stupid, they'd been dating a month and Alex had pretty much told her she wasn't going to fight with her. It drove Piper crazy that she wouldn't engage. So she grabbed her purse and decided to go out. She went to a club they would frequent and just started to dance. She danced for over three hours. Men and women both danced with her, many tried to get her to drink with them or go home. She would just turn away and dance more. She was covered in sweat and the dance floor began to thin when she felt another person dance up against her. She knew right away it was Alex. Piper turned and started to dance close to her. She was sorry for the stupid fight and being close to Alex was all she wanted. **

**The music was pounding so Alex leaned in to say, "I followed you here and watched you dance all night. Each time someone danced with you I held my breath and waited on you to break my heart. Thank you...thank you for treating it with more respect than I treated you with tonight. Come back please, come shower and sleep with me." Piper had stopped dancing and panted there in the swirling lights. While she looked at Alex's face, a very hot Latina girl danced up close to her. Alex looked behind her and the girl inserted herself between them on the floor. Piper reached up, took her by the hair and slung her away from Alex. The girl turned like she was going to claw Piper's eyes out. **

**Piper just took Alex's hand and said, "Mine." The girl looked like she was going to argue but Alex just turned and walked out, pulling Piper with her. **

**"That Piper Chapman temper you have is going to get you in trouble someday." She said in the cab on the way home. Piper just nuzzled at Alex's neck and shivered as her sweat cooled on her body. **

**"I don't have a temper." She had mumbled. **

**Alex snorted and pointed out, " I watched you dance like that with people all night. If I'd done what you did, I'd been arrested for assault by now." **

**Piper was quiet then she said, "It was different, she got between us...she put herself between me and my woman. That is different." She closed her eyes and started to fall to sleep leaning on her shoulder. **

**After awhile, right before she dozed off completely, she heard Alex say, "You're right. It is different."**

She was tired as she ran. She knew she had over done it but didn't really care. It was Nicky that came out and stood in front of her on the Track. Piper stopped and bent over panting hard. She was sweating but soon it was obvious to her it was too cold to stop.

"Come on to breakfast now Chapman, I mean running in the freezing cold with wet hair after a hospital visit is pretty fuckin' stupid. Alex is searching for you all over the place." Piper clenched her teeth but started to walk back inside.

"I just wanted some exercise." she said as she passed Nicky. Nicky rolled her eyes and walked inside and up to the cafeteria. Piper's suit was wet from sweat and she knew she had to eat pretty fast so she could go change for work. She grabbed an English muffin and some coffee and sat down to eat. Alex came in the Cafeteria and looked about. She seemed to visibly exhale as she saw Piper and went to get in the line. Piper didn't want a lecture so she ate her muffin in three big bites and washed it down with scalding coffee. She then rose and left, saying goodbye to Nicky as she went. She made it back to her bunk and changed for work before Alex finished. She was at the Electric shack before Luschek could even open the door.

"Ah eager to get back to work, eh Chapman? Welcome back. You get the cage today." He said as he opened the door and turned on the lights.

"But I thought maybe I could go out and work on something in the kitchen or.." Piper began. She didn't like the cage as she had to be locked inside and it made her feel more trapped than she already did here.

"Nope, nothing strenuous until you see a doctor. So sit on the stool, check out the tools and write it down." Piper started to argue again and he jerked open the cage door. "Now Chapman. Or do you want to try and negotiate for a better assignment?" He asked as he got closer to her. She realized by coming down early she was the only one in here with him. She immediately went inside the cage and he closed the door, then locked her inside. He held up the key and Piper swallowed and looked at it. She hated that he had the key. She hated that they all had the keys to her world and she had nothing. She looked over the tools like she was familiarizing herself with them for the first time.

"I bet you used to dance in cages like this in all those New York City clubs. Show me some of you moves, Chapman." Piper turned and glared at him. She just crossed her arms over her body and tried not to feel like a piece of meat. He'd never spoke to her this way. "I bet you'd dance for, what's her name...oh yeah...Inmate Vause." He smirked as Piper stiffened. She started to tell him to mind his own business but Nicky and a few of the other girls came in. Andrea, who had been doing the cage, seemed relieved that Piper had that assignment. Now Piper wondered what he did with her when he sent the rest of them off on assignment. She had an overwhelming sense of dread in the pit of her stomach.

He didn't send everyone out that day. He had a fresh batch of broken lamps and a few broken cash register monitors for them to work on throughout the day. Piper was bored out of her mind but sat, with her legs crossed and watched the other girls work. He let her out for lunch and told her to hurry back. She didn't speak to anyone much at lunch. Alex sat beside her and looked closely at how she ate. Piper could tell she wanted to ask her about the morning, but didn't because others were listening. They went back to work and Piper was locked back in the cage. At the end of the day, each tool was checked back in and Piper checked and rechecked the list. Each girl finished and was allowed to leave until it was just Piper and Luschek again.

"May I please be let out?" she asked politely. He ignored her an pretended to fill out paperwork. He had napped through most of the day and hadn't checked out the 'fixed' items. Her skin was crawling with the need to get out of the cage. She didn't want to ask again so she sat back down and waited. Time passed and she was worried she'd miss check. "Um please let me out, I don't want to miss check and be late for dinner." He seemed to reluctantly pull himself up and unlock her cage. He stood in front of the door and she waited on him to move. He just looked at her. She crossed her arms in front of her body and lowered her head.

Finally, he moved and told her to go. She ran out of the shack and back up to the main building. Nicky was waiting for her by the door.

"Did he do something to you Chapman?" she asked. Piper shook her head and just went inside. Nicky followed her and grabbed her by the arm, turning her around. "He didn't touch you at all? Or make you do anything to get out of the cage?" Piper felt from the way she asked her that perhaps he had done something like that before. Piper just swallowed and shook her head. Nicky nodded and they walked towards the dorm in silence. She wasn't back even three minutes before check. Alex stood by her cube and looked ahead. Piper did as well and this time they got it right on one count.

As soon as the light went off, Alex turned to her, "Are you okay? What took you so long to get in from work?" Piper looked back down the way at Nicky. She was watching. Piper shrugged and went to get a bar of soap so she could wash up.

"He had to show me some things. I got a new job. Nothing to worry about." She smiled what she hoped was a real, put-her-at-ease smile and then went to the bathroom to wash her hands. By the time she got back from that, most everyone was in the cafeteria. She went to get in the slow line. It was beef tips and she hoped they were actually brown. As she moved along, she heard Taystee and a few others talking about a girl that went crazy and tried to smash her own head in a door. Piper felt she could relate. The table where Alex was sitting was full so she sat with her old dorm crew.

"Oh now you sitting back with the hood rats, eh Ghosty." Black Cindy said.

"I missed the education. I always learn so much from you guys, like how to beat down meth heads." Piper said under her breath. This made them all laugh and she even did a little hand shake that Poussey had taught her one late night. She heard about how Cindy's appeal was approaching and that she didn't think she'd make it. Taystee asked Piper if she'd look at Cindy's letter.

"Sure, it didn't help poor Tricia much, but I don't mind." They all looked down, made a bit sad by the reference. Cindy said she'd bring the letter by her cube later. She finished most of her dinner and got up to leave. She went to the rec room afterwards and started to play scrabble with Yoga Jones. Alex came in and went to sit beside her. She looked at her until finally Piper looked up from her letters.

"Yes?" she said. Alex turned to Yoga Jones and politely asked her if they could have a moment.

"Sure hon, you two need to talk, I can tell." Piper started to protest but Yoga Jones was up and away from the table. Alex moved to take her seat. Piper leaned back and crossed her arms over her chest.

"What do you want to talk about Alex?" she asked.

"I want to know why you got upset this morning because Jo flirted? You said you understood if I had needs other girls met." Alex mentioned. Piper flinched at the mention of her half assed attempt to be generous.

"I also said I didn't want to see it. So I left. No big deal..." she started.

"I asked Nicky where she found you. You went running in the cold, running when yesterday you couldn't do two laps. You promised not to hurt yourself Piper." Alex's voice broke like as she spoke and Piper clenched her jaw hearing it.

She leaned up and spelled out the word A*S*H*T*R*A*Y. Then she said, "I'm sorry. I just..fuck it is hard and I know I don't have the right to treat you like you are mine." Alex used her word and spelled out R*I*G*O*R. "Did you join her in the shower?" Piper asked with her head down. She hated herself for asking but she knew girls would join each other in the shower. She'd seen Nicky and Morello go at it more than once in there.

"Jesus Piper, which is it? Do you want to know about any others or don't you?" Alex asked. Piper felt her own helplessness well up inside of her. She stood and walked out towards the Ghetto dorm. Alex rose and followed her out but one of the guards told her to clean up the game. Piper went to Cindy and got her letter, then retired to her bunk to read it over. Later Alex came in and sat on her bunk. As much as she enjoyed having Alex close to her at night, it did make it hard to find space. They didn't speak as they went through final check and got in their bunks for lights out. An hour later she turned out her lights. Cindy was more literate than Piper gave her credit for and the editing wasn't going to take that long.

Once the light was out she closed her eyes and tried to calm her mind. She heard Alex stir awhile later then felt her hands on her face, pushing her hair out of her eyes. She leaned down and kissed Piper softly and put her lips to her ear and whispered, "I told her I wasn't interested, finished brushing my teeth and went to find you."

Just like that Alex was gone and back in her bunk. Piper turned her head and looked over the short distance to the woman she loved. Alex was on her stomach and with her head turned towards Piper.

"I'm so sorry I'm so fucked up Alex. Today has been weird for me, don't worry I'll get better at it all. Sleep well." she whispered and closed her eyes again.

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please review~~


	14. Chapter 14 Working With Them

The next day was the same routine but this time Joann didn't approach Alex. Piper was relieved. She went back to change for work when she was told by a guard that her counselor wanted to see her. Piper felt cold dread in her stomach. She hadn't told anyone what he did. She did say one comment to Nicky but overall that was it. She went to his office and knocked.

"Come in Chapman, have a seat." He was writing and didn't look up. She came in but kept the door open. She didn't want to be in a closed room alone with him.

"I would like to request a new Counselor, Mr. Healy." She said. He didn't respond and kept scribbling on the page.

"I heard you got a new bunk mate. It seems Kaputo decided where she would go and enjoyed telling me it was with you. Now, why would he think I cared where your sicko lesbian lover slept?" Healy said, with a cold tone.

Piper crossed her arms and leaned back, the epitome of petulance. "Maybe he knows you got a hard on for me and wanted to fuck with you. I don't know, nor do I care. WE both know what you did..." Piper began.

"What did I do Chapman? Surely you aren't talking about Christmas? I mean it has been weeks and you swore you never went outside. So it isn't like you can change your story. Do you have something you'd like to confess to me?" He took up his pencil again like he was ready to record her statement.

"No, I don't. Like you said, it was long ago. However, I don't want you as my counselor. I've waited...stayed out of your way and kept my head down," she told him in a controlled voice.

He snorted and replied, "You practically starved yourself to death and got an infection from your pretend wounds. You were taken out of here on a stretcher and your Mother called the warden five times about the sanitation and health care in the prison. I heard about it from all sides. Why weren't you watching out of her Healy? On and on...now you want me to put in a request for a new counselor. I don't think so." He started to get red in the face

"If you weren't interested in what I wanted, then why am I here?" She asked. Healy scribbled more on the paper then looked up.

"I needed to check on your health and let you know the WAC will be meeting on Thursday before commissary. Also, you will be seeing the Doctor two weeks from today for him to check you off to go back to more hard labor." His voice was very business like. Piper clenched her jaw again. Two more weeks in that damn cage. She nodded at him but didn't speak further.

"Close the door on your way out inmate." he said. She shut it without slamming it and was very proud of herself. She reluctantly made her way down to the shack and was relieved to see other girls already in there. Luschek was having a bad hangover day and grumbled when he locked the cage with her inside. He sent out many of the girls but luckily one or two stayed through out the day. He did take his time letting her out for lunch though until everyone had walked outside. He stood in the doorway again and watched her. She clenched her hands at her side, digging her nails in to her palms. He turned his head to the side slightly and slowly moved his eyes up her form. He was worse than Pornstache because of those damn keys and that awful cage. He knew how much she wanted out of it.

Nicky came back in, "Come on Chapman," she said while she stood in the doorway, keeping the door open. He moved out of the way and Piper darted out. As they walked up, Nicky put her hand on her shoulder and Piper stopped. She looked behind her and in front to see if anyone was watching.

"Look, if he asks you do touch him, don't do it. But if he touches you just lock your hands behind you and close your eyes. Worse he ever does is play with your nipples." Piper started to protest but Nicky just shook her head. "Listen, he will only do it when you are alone. He will start to send me out more and more, then he will lock the shack door...if he does that, he is going to touch. Just stand still and take it...soon after he will put another girl in the cage." Piper couldn't believe she was hearing this...it was just so wrong. Yet, what could she do? She knew Pornstache had actually raped a girl and he hadn't been fired.

She really lost her appetite at lunch. She tried to eat but her stomach was in knots over going back in the cage. Alex asked her what was going on with her and Nicky changed the subject, telling her Alex had gone to see her counselor.

"Yeah there is a WAC meeting this week and apparently I have an appointment to see the doctor in a few weeks." Piper supplied information to change the subject.

Alex pressed on, "Did Healy upset you? Did he give you shit for me being your bunk mate? I thought it odd that Kaputo went over his head and assigned me." Piper nodded.

"Yeah he thought I'd done something to get you in there. I think Kaputo was just enjoying fucking with him." Piper said the last part quiet so the guards didn't overhear. Alex nodded and Piper ate some of her broccoli. She went back to finish work and it was alright until it was time to go. Nicky waited but he sent her out, pretending to do paperwork before he checked off the tools. Nicky walked out slowly but looked back giving Piper the look that said for her to do as she said. He had let all the girl girls go a little early, saying they had finished all their tasks that day. Again he took his time and opened the door, standing in front of Piper so she couldn't exit. Piper clenched her hands again and looked down.

"Don't be sad, look up at me." Piper raised her head and leveled the most hate filled gaze on him she could muster. He smiled as if she had reached out and caressed his cheek. "If I recall, you have a fiancé and a girl friend. That is hot to me...I was thinking about how lucky he is and I wondered what a guy had to do to get a firecracker like you in bed. Do you want out of this cage, inmate?" He said. Piper nodded, not trusting her voice.

She tried to be quiet but couldn't. "Just stop it! You aren't supposed to do this, you deceitful Pig." He shut the door to the cage and locked it again, turning around. Piper cried out and pulled on the door. " Come on! Let me out." He walked out of the shack and Piper kicked the cage door over. She grunted in frustration and sat down before the board and tucked her feet up.

It seemed like forever before he came back inside. He didn't lock the door so she took small comfort in that. She didn't look at him when he opened the door. "Get up inmate." he said in a bored tone. She stood up and faced him, her hands at her side. "Lift your shirt and show me your titties and I'll let you out." he said calmly. Piper looked at him for at least a minute, then lifted her shirts to her bra. He told her to lift that as well and she did. He ogled her and then stepped out of the way.

"Get out of here inmate before you miss check and put your clothes back down...save it for your girlfriend tonight." His voice was thick with lust and as he followed her out, he took up some lotion from his desk. She had no doubt what he was going to do once she left. She was just thankful he didn't make her stay and watch. Nicky wasn't outside and she was happy for that. The tears started to fall as she walked back and she wiped them on her sleeve.

Gregory was at the door when she approached and stopped Piper. "You Okay inmate Chapman?" Piper looked up at her and smiled.

"Yes, just homesick." she said. Gregory told her to hurry to her dorm and Piper walked fast all the way there. She got to the dorm right as the light came on and had to rush to get in place. Nicky watched her go by and Piper couldn't even look at Alex. She just wanted out of this damn place and away from all of the sick, fucking men here. Alex sat on her bunk after check and watched her face.

"You've been crying. What's wrong?" Piper looked at her and started to tell her. She was afraid though. She knew Alex was smart but so much had happened with them that she was afraid Alex might lose her temper, like she had with Leann and get in trouble. If Alex hit a guard, she'd go down the hill like Miss Claudette. Piper couldn't take the chance.

So she lied, "Luschek got pissed at me for the way I did the list today. I had to redo it and it made me mad. He is just overly cautious after that screwdriver incident." She shrugged and smiled at her. Alex reached out and took her hand in hers for a moment. Piper looked around but no guards were within view.

"Maybe we can hold each other for a bit tonight. Meet me in the Chapel after dinner." she whispered. Piper couldn't help but feel better. She started to rework Cindy's letter as she had about fifteen minutes until dinner. Alex moved to her own bunk and started to read on her book.

"I remember when you wrote Cal's resume for him. You were much better at his than you were your own, if I recall." she kept reading and Piper laughed.

"My resume of fine, you just wanted to flirt." Piper said.

"Yes but you really cared how he was presented, as if the resume would fix his problems. You know that letter can't work miracles for Black Cindy, right?" Alex seemed a bit concerned as she said it. Piper put her pad down and looked over at her.

"I know. I told her as much, but I have an education, seems a shame not to use it to help someone. At least she will know she put her best foot forward in the appeal. Ya know Larry told me he wasn't the family fuck up anymore. I guess he was right." Boo came up with little Boo as they talked and Alex didn't say what she was about to say.

"Yeah Chapman helped with mine as well. It didn't make much difference but the board did say it seemed I was making progress. I think that is maybe why I got to be part of the training program with Little Boo here." Alex reached down and petted the sweet dog. She went to wash up afterwards and felt somewhat better, like maybe she had helped someone today. She ate dinner slowly knowing they wouldn't go to the Chapel until most of the crowd had gone on to the rec room or commissary. She was going to skip hers this week, though she could use some more laundry soap.

She made it to the Chapel first and ducked down behind the pulpit. She waited on Alex and tried not to get too excited. Alex came in the front of the Chapel and quietly called out her name. Piper peeked around the edge of the pulpit and Alex jumped up on the stage area to join her. She sat down with her too and this time though, Piper opened her arms first. Alex leaned in to her and rested her head on her shoulder. Piper kissed her hair and relaxed for the first time today. Just being here with Alex made all the horrible stuff go away.

Alex lifted her head and asked, " Are you going to really tell me what happened with Luschek?" Piper frowned at her.

"Did Nicky say anything to you?" Piper asked. Alex shook her head.

"She didn't have to...I caught her waiting for you with a worried look on her face. I asked her what was up and she made some lame joke and split...then you appear later and have been crying. Did he touch you?" Alex asked softly but Piper could tell there was an underlining steel in her voice that scared her.

"He didn't touch me. Don't worry. I will not have you going off on him and ending up in the SHU or worse. We have to just go along with them Alex..." Alex tensed in her arms and brought both of her hands up to hold Pipers face. Her eyes started to swim with tears and Piper couldn't hold her gaze.

"He did something. I swear..I'll fuckin' kill him." Alex began. Piper leaned in and kissed her to shut her up. She mumbled on her mouth that she would do no such thing or she couldn't feel those lips again. Alex stopped talking and deepened the kiss. Soon neither of them could think to speak and they were reaching for each other's clothes. Alex was touching her like she was precious glass and someone had been trying to break her in to pieces. It made Piper's body ache all over. They had their shirts off when they heard the doors open above. Sister Ingalls was talking to the Chaplain, a bit loud perhaps. She was discussing some missing parts to candles. Piper and Alex tore themselves apart and quickly put their shirts back on. Piper peeked out from behind the pulpit and saw the Sister get the Chaplain's attention again, making her turn around. They made their run for it out the back door and down the narrow hallway. Each one was straightening their clothing when Boo walked up. She snickered at their expression and rolled her eyes. Piper joined her walking down the hall and Alex followed a few minutes later.

That night in her bunk, Piper reached down to touch herself for the first time. As if she had some sixth sense, Alex turned over and watched. Piper looked at her as she slowly rubbed herself under her blanket. It was so erotic and she was so full of lust it didn't take her long. When she finished, coming quietly and biting her lip hard, she brought her fingers out and sucked each one. Alex moaned and closed her eyes tight.

Piper whispered, "Good night, Alex. Sweet dreams." before she closed her own eyes, her body now relaxed enough to maybe sleep.

Minutes passed before she heard Alex say, "I'll get you for that, tease. Good night, Pipes. Tomorrow will be better."

**I couldn't leave it at an unlucky 13 chapters, I hope you enjoyed. Please review, they brighten my day and night!-


	15. Chapter 15 Staring Contest

The next morning they fell in to a pattern, waking early and went to the shower together. Piper was a bit distracted thinking about calling Larry. Once in the shower she was washing her hair when she noticed Alex was leaning against the stall wall that separated their stalls. She stood on her tip toes and looked over to see what she was doing. Alex was rubbing her tits and using her own hand on her sex. Piper swayed as desire hit her out of no where. Alex arched her back and moaned. She could barely be heard over the shower. Piper looked around and saw a few more women about but no one was watching Alex. No one but her. She bit her lip and clenched her hands down on the stall. Alex opened her eyes, looked at Piper and then came with a sexy grunt. Piper's nostrils flared and she squinted at Alex, watching how she shivered and rode her pleasure through her climax. Pipers fingers throbbed with the memory of what it was like to be inside of her when she did that. Piper watched fascinated as Alex brought her fingertips up and licked each one.

"Meany" was all Piper could manage to say. Alex turned and chuckled, washing her body under the water. Piper turned and rinsed her hair, for once thankful the water had started to cool. She finished and wrapped up in her towel, stepping out in her flip flops to go brush her teeth. Alex came out as well and leaned against the sink next to her, looking at her face in the mirror.

Piper glared at her in the mirror and Alex grinned. Piper closed her eyes and tried not to remember all the showers they had taken together. Alex had this amazing shower installed in their apartment a few weeks after she moved in with her. Though she liked tubs, that shower had been a place of constant pleasure for her. Having Alex so close and not being able to touch her made Piper sad. She shook herself physically and bent to brush her teeth.

"Where did you go just now?" Alex asked turning to watch Piper. Piper finished brushing and rinsed her toothbrush. She wiped her mouth on her towel by ducking her head and rubbing her lips on the top. She didn't meet her eyes, not yet.

"I was remembering times when there wasn't a wall between us and I would have been the one inside of you." Piper said quietly. Alex nodded.

"Those memories make you sad?" she asked, turning away to look at Piper in the mirror, as if seeing her expression face to face was too real. Piper applied deodorant and looked in the mirror as well.

She responded, "No..not being able to touch you whenever or however I want made me sad. I understand though. It's all fucked up and um yes you got me back for last night." She smiled as she said it and turned to leave. Alex started to say something but she stopped herself as more people began to come in and the line started to form.

Piper got dressed for breakfast and went by herself to the cafeteria. She got some oatmeal and toast, then sat at their usual table. Soon Alex, Yoga Jones and Big Boo joined her. They told her the girl that smashed her own head in the door tried to off herself in psyche. Seems Crazy Eyes took a small trip there and came back, saw the whole thing as she was leaving. Piper wondered what had set Suzy off to be sent back to Psych. She made a mental note to talk to her, if she would. She hoped it wasn't the show that had upset her. She had seemed fine at the pageant weeks earlier. Piper finished and took her tray up then walked over to the phones. She had some time before work and figured she may catch Larry at his parent's apartment if she called early.

It rang three times before he picked up. She waited on him to accept and after he pressed the button she was greeted with his scruffy morning voice. "Hey Pipes, you're calling early." She smiled and tears formed immediately. She could see him, in his t-shirt and boxers, hair all scruffy and their sheets all messed up. She knew that her phone calls were all one way and he had to be ready to take them at any time.

"Did you sleep well?" she asked. He yawned in the phone and mumbled yes. It was adorable and she smiled.

"I dreamed about you. You were cooking me chicken. I had chicken before bed last night, I doubt that had anything to do with it." He laughed. His voice was strained, like he was afraid to say the wrong thing. She missed their easy conversations. She missed her best friend.

"You sure it wasn't a nightmare? I mean, you know my cooking is hit and miss. Now, if you want some jalapeno lotion rub, I can throw that together with a pair of panties and a plastic cup." She joked back with him hoping to put him at ease. He laughed, remembering how she described her valiant attempt to win Red over. "What are your plan for today?" she asked.

"I am going to see my editor. I have a new column ready. It isn't about us, but about the impact of prison on families. I mention you and give a few lines of kudos to the kind guards that one may come across when visiting, but it was a stretch." He sounded a bit perturbed as if putting it in had cost him something dear. Piper thanked him.

"I can't wait to read it. Is it for the Times?" She asked him hoping he didn't ask her why she had needed a favor from Kaputo. He told her it was up for any paper that would take it. He then told her he was going shopping and maybe out to see Cal. Piper was touched they had become good friends. Maybe Cal and his odd ways were good for Larry, like Larry and his traditional ideas of success and work would be good for Cal. She missed her little brother and decided to call him as well soon.

"Mom and Dad send their love. They asked me why I hadn't gone up to see you lately. I told them you asked me not to because you felt bad about how you looked after the hospital. Piper, I need to see you. It isn't fair to be kept from you." He said in a soft tone that held so much fear that Piper felt like she was talking to someone else.

"You broke up with me, remember? I tried to call you afterwards, you didn't take the call. So if you can avoid my calls, I can avoid your visits." she tried to soften her voice, but the truth was the truth. He played emotional kidnapping with the avoidance of her calls. He'd done it before his show and then after they had agreed to get married right away. She still had the paper tucked inside one of her books. He had to know what that did to her.

"I'm sorry. I was hurt you cheated on me, Piper. Listen...I have thought long and hard about Alex and what she said. I don't like that you...no I fucking hate that you turned to her and gave her your body. She told me the first time we met that you were the one that started up the affair. Was that true?" It was a question she knew he'd been wanting to ask.

She took a breath and answered, " Yeah, my psycho Counselor had put me in the SHU for dancing with Alex. Dancing Larry...then he came to visit me and speak to me like it was a time out and he was there to correct my behavior. He actually spoke like I was confused and if I wasn't I'd see he was a great guy, perfect for me. I got so pissed I cussed him out. He shut the window to the door and left me there. I freaked out, I was convinced I'd be left there forever. Then, suddenly I was let out. As I walked back to the dorms, all I could think about was if I was going to be accused of it, why not do it? Larry, I...I needed her. I needed to feel something...I needed to feel alive and God help me, I was still in love with her. Would I have done it if I had known she was the one that gave me up? I don't know. We've always had a complicated relationship. I know you didn't know about it...you had no idea. But I tell you now that if I had never met Alex Vause, the woman you met and fell in love with wouldn't have existed." she hated hurting him by saying these things but if she'd learned one thing while being in here, she'd learned that truths hurt but lies kill.

Larry was quiet and she looked over to see the clock on the wall. It was time to head to work. She dreaded seeing Luschek but she had to do it. "I gotta head to work. I'll put your name back on the list later today. I think Mom is coming Friday so maybe you can come on Saturday, if you want."

"I want. Thank you, I'll see you soon and have a good day working." He sounded strained and she knew he was crying. She hung up without a goodbye and sighed putting her forehead to the concrete wall. She gave herself a moment, then headed out to the shop. She came around the corner and saw Alex standing in front of Luschek. Her heart jumped in to her throat and she skidded to a halt. He looked as if he was watching a strip show, fascinated with everything she said. She leaned in close and whispered something to him and turned. Piper couldn't believe it! Alex was flirting with him. She walked passed Piper and reached out to take her hand. She squeezed it and looked at her with love filled eyes.

"Have a good day working, " she said, exactly as Larry had said. Luschek told her to hurry up, people needed tools. She let go of Alex's hand and went inside the shop with Luschek behind her. He locked her in the cage and set about giving them assignments. All day at least one girl was there. He never made any remarks or looked at her in a sleazy way. Her mind was racing. Then she recalled how he had called Alex 'the hot one' after the dryer incident. Piper felt her breakfast start to rise. What had Alex said to him? What had she promised him?

He let her out for lunch and stepped out of the way immediately. Piper slipped out fast and walked as fast as her legs could carry her towards the cafeteria. Nicky was rushing to catch up.

"Whoa wait up Chapman, you know lunch doesn't get any colder if you hurry." Piper slowed down and let Nicky fall I to place beside her.

"Sorry I want to see Alex. Look did you tell her what Luschek does? Did you tell her he locks me in?" Piper stopped walking and asked Nicky. Nicky shrugged and looked up at Piper.

"Listen kid, she knew he was up to something, you can't hide what happens to you, your face shows it all. She asked me specifics about your job and I told her. I also told her about his 'tickets out the door' tricks. I also sat on her lap to keep her from getting up from the floor of the library to go kill him. She calmed down and seemed to think about it. I told her he'd do little more than feel you up and that soon another girl would have the problem." Nicky seemed to think that was okay. Piper felt more responsible than that. She knew Alex probably didn't care what happened to anyone in here but her and maybe Nicky.

"She was outside the shop when I got there. Do you know what she said or what she has planned?" Nicky whistled and shot up her eyebrows.

"Uh no, but I'd hate to be Luschek. She has one devious criminal mind." Piper nodded but didn't speak as they entered the cafeteria. She watched out for Alex and finally she came in to get her food. Lunch was almost over and Piper was really worried what took Alex so long.

"Fuck, I was a bit late for work and I had to fold 20 bags before Henton would let me go. That fucker has it in for me." she said in a low tone. Other chimed in about what a prick he was. Piper couldn't argue though she had limited interaction with him, she didn't really recall the details of being taken to Kaputo's office, but she'd never get the picture of his boot on Alex's back out of her mind.

Piper leaned in, "Speaking of pricks, what did you say to Luschek?" Others listened at the table and tried to appear like they were engrossed in their food. Alex leaned back and looked at Piper. They stared at one another for a good long while. The women at their table just looked back and forth between them.

Finally Alex responded, "I said what I had to, like you said we have to work with them. Don't worry. I took care of it." Piper clenched her jaw and leaned closer, fury made her hands shake and she put down her spork.

" I never asked you to! Fuck Alex, what good does it do for his attention to be on you now? You think I want that?" Alex smiled a sweet smile and pressed her leg against Piper's under the table. She waited. She waited on Piper to calm herself. Piper huffed and exhaled, crossing her arms over her chest leaning back.

"No, I know you don't want that, but listen to me. You will go off on him. You will not allow him to do what he wants and he will find a way to make you pay. Me, I can control the situation and think it through. You will spout off at the mouth and get thrown in the SHU." Alex spoke very slowly as if she were making her point to an angry teenager.

"She has a point Chapman. You and I are a like in that way. I mean you know I was tossed in the SHU for cursing out a guard right? Who you think that was?" Piper blinked. She remembered that when she met Nicky she was coming out of two weeks in the SHU. She had to admit Alex was probably right. Still she wasn't going to let her trade sexual favors for her safety. She just wasn't.

Piper decided to let it pass and they all rose to take up their trays. She walked back to work by herself. He opened the cage and let her inside. She was the first one back and he didn't even look at her. She contemplated offering him something else, something she could offer him to keep him away from Alex. She just sat and thought for a moment.

Then it hit her. She turned and counted all the screwdrivers, then turned to him and said, " I know you bought a screw driver to replace the one taken. I want you to know that I know where the other one is. If you touch me or Alex in anyway, I'll make sure that screw driver is brought to Kaputo, even if it cost me more time. Union or not, you'll be fired. Got it?" He didn't get to respond because the others came in. She hoped she sounded convincing enough.

At the end of the day, he let her out and walked out with her. He told Gregory to check her out, that she seemed to be acting funny. Piper stood still through the pat down and just glared at him. He frowned and she perked an eyebrow. Did he think she was stupid enough to bring it with her? He nodded to her as to say he agreed and she went inside.

After check she turned to Alex and told her not to worry about Luschek. " I got it all handled. He wont touch us again. I swear. Just whatever you are planning, don't do it." Alex looked at her startled.

"What did you promise him?" she said. Piper sat her beside her on her bunk and leaned close. She whispered to her that her and told her the story of the screwdriver. She told her about how it is somewhere in the gravel of a parking lot but he didn't know that. Alex's eyes got wide when she realized that Piper had tried to defend herself with the screwdriver. She reached out and took Piper's right hand and ran her thumb over the healed scar.

"I came so close to losing you." was all she whispered. Piper sat back and they looked at one another again, lost in each other's eyes.

_FLASHBACK_

Piper remembered the first time they had been caught staring in to each other's eyes. Their friend Billy asked them if it was a contest. She had blushed and lowered her gaze. Alex had told him to fuck off. He had asked, honestly wanting to know, what they saw when they did that.

"I don't know. I get lost in her eyes. I know it is corny but I just feel overwhelmed and feel all of the emotions we have all at once and I get calm.." Alex began.

"Yeah, it feels like time stands still for a moment and my racing, raging mind gets quiet. It feels like home I guess, but no home I've ever had before." Alex smiled then, a big open smile that she doesn't share often. Billy had told them they were too cute and Alex threw a pillow at him, then told him to go get that package. She went right back to work and dismissed the conversation. Still Piper had remembered it and it was one of her most cherished memories of their time together.

Piper broke eye contact first and dropped them to their joined hands. Soon they were roused to get up and go to the cafeteria. She walked beside Alex on the way down with a small smile resting on her lips.

** sorry the bold wouldn't work for me for that small flashback. I love the reviews. If you want to learn more about the real Piper and her story, check out the book "Orange Is The New Black, My Year In A Women's Prison" by Piper Kerman. These characters belong to her and Jenji Kohan, I own nothing but my own feels over this delicious pair and how that created a story in my head. Please review if you want to read more. Thanks, Faecym


	16. Chapter 16 Turbulence and Red Heads

That night in their bunk, Piper told Alex she spoke to Larry. Alex listened as she told her what they talked about. She told Alex she put Larry on the list again and she nodded.

"Are you okay with this?" Piper asked.

"You don't need my permission to see your fiancé Piper." Alex said and leaned back to look at her. Piper nodded like she knew and moved over to sit on Alex's bunk. She took Alex's hands in hers. Alex looked at their joined hands. "I have a visitor on Saturday as well. I promise not to stare at your hugging him if you do the same for me." Piper squinted her eyes.

"The red head?" Alex raised her eyebrow and Piper looked back unabashedly.

"Yes, her name is Nora and we dated while I was waiting to be sentenced." Piper stiffened. She knew Alex wasn't a nun after they broke up. Hell, girls threw themselves at her all the time.

"Were you serious?" Piper asked softly. She wanted to know but at the same time the thought of Alex serious over another woman made her stomach flip.

"Yeah I guess. I never promised anything and told her that she didn't have to keep seeing me...told her to date others." Alex shrugged. Piper looked down and back up, then slowly rubbed her nail in the center of Alex's palm.

"Do you love her?" Piper asked as she dropped her eyes to their hands. Alex sat quiet as Piper avoided her gaze.

Alex reached out and lifted her chin, "No. I care for her." She held her gaze and Piper saw the truth reflected. Piper nodded and let go of her hand. "I'm very curious as to why it took you so long to ask me about Nora?"

Piper shrugged and tried to act like she didn't really know. She got up and went to her table, acting all nonchalant in that adorkable way that made her more appealing. Alex watched her get her pad and sit down to write the final draft of Black Cindy's letter.

Piper looked up and then sighed, "I was terrified you'd tell me she was your wife or something." Alex perked her eyebrow.

"What about me made you think that one, I'd get married? and two that I'd cheat on my wife with you?" Piper turned her head to the side and looked at Alex thinking of how to answer.

"Well, you may have found the right one, how was I to know? And...I cheated on Larry with you. When it comes to the two of us, we tend to act with our libido first, then think later." Alex laughed and nodded agreeing. Piper worked on the letter and Alex started to read. Soon it was lights out and Piper stood, taking off her jacket. Alex watched her. Piper moved her hips in slow circles and looked over her shoulder grinning. She couldn't help but remember the strip tease she had done for Alex the day she asked her to travel with her. Europe and Indonesia was where her work was going to take them. Piper had been so excited.

The guard called for her to get in to her bunk and Piper quickly slid under her blanket. Alex took off her glasses and chuckled at Piper's aborted attempt to seduce her. Once the dorm quieted down some Piper turned on her side and looked at Alex.

**Once Piper had been on a long flight with Alex. They barely made it to the plane on time and Alex had to be in Padang for a meeting and the airline wasn't cooperating. They had been passed over twice and were lucky to get seats on a small plane for the last leg of their journey. Piper's head was bobbing up and down as she tried to stay awake. Some strange man was beside her and she didn't want to sleep with him so close. Alex was across the isle, reading and reworking numbers on a list. It was so code that she could read perfectly but to first glance seemed to be gibberish. Piper knew she'd wished they had stayed in Indonesia instead of going to Chicago with Piper. Piper felt bad but was secretly thrilled that Alex had travelled with her. She could have gone by herself to Cal's art show. It had been a small gallery but Piper really wanted to support him. Alex had gone and attended with her once Piper told her that her parents weren't going to go. She'd asked Piper if she would have taken her with they were going and Piper said yes. It had meant something to her. It had meant something to Alex, but now she was paying for it. They hit a large pocket of turbulence and the plane jerked around. Piper clutched the arm of her chair in sudden terror. She reached her other hand out and Alex took it. The attendant told them to keep the isle clear in her broken English. **

**"Fuck off. I am not letting go of her hand. I asked to sit beside her and you wouldn't change the seats. Deal." Alex had said to the offended attendant. Piper clutched at her hand and the plane dropped again shaking. The guy beside her reached his hand down to clutch her leg as she cried out. Piper was scared and at first didn't notice. **

**She looked over at Alex, "I'm scared. I hate these kind of flights." Alex nodded and put her notepad down. **

**She told Piper it would be okay and then Piper looked down to where the sleaze ball had his hand. He actually started to move it up her inner thigh, pulling her sundress as he did. Piper gasped and let go of Alex's hand. She slapped at his arm and he smiled at her as if he was reassuring her with his awful touch. Before Piper could yell for the attendant, Alex was out of her seat and had him by his shirt. She didn't say a word to him but raised her hand to punch him. He shrank back and Alex lowered her arm. **

**"Move your ass to my seat." The attendant started to protest and tell Alex to sit down. "He is moving before I break his fucking nose for touching my girlfriend. Now leave us alone." Her tone would suffer no arguing. He got up and moved to Alex's seat and Piper moved over to take his. Alex sat down and tucked her pad between them. She put her arm around Piper and held her through the rest of the bumpy ride. **

Alex was laying on her stomach and Piper slipped out of her bunk and crouched low toward Alex's bunk. She sat in the floor by her and watched her face as she slept. Alex rolled over on her side and Piper took the opportunity to slide in to bed with her. There was barely enough space but as always, even asleep, Alex adjusted and put her arm over Piper, pulling her closer and away from the edge. Piper closed her eyes and choked back a sob. She knew if she allowed herself, she would have the best night of sleep she'd had since she got in this place, four months prior. She knew she couldn't take the chance of not waking before the guard came down for check. So she rested in her arms and smiled as Alex nuzzled at her neck.

"You smell good, baby." she muttered. Piper smiled then stiffened. Generally Alex didn't call her baby, she called Alex baby. It made Piper wonder who Alex was holding in her dreams. Nora's face came to mind and Piper shuddered throughout her body. Alex pulled her closer and murmured, "you cold, Pipes?"

"No, you are warm enough for me." she whispered. Alex slid her hand under her arm and grasped her breast firmly in her right hand.

"Gotta get back before check," she mumbled. Piper moved her ass back more against her and enjoyed the way Alex pressed close.

"Don't worry, baby. I'll move back soon." she replied quietly. Alex may care for Nora but Piper knew that, how had she put it "I heart you" was for her only. Knowing that was enough for now.

***I so enjoy reading your reviews. The ones with detail just uplift me. I will most likely slow down the updates as I try to work out what will happen in their lives next. Review please, one never knows where inspiration will arise. If you can and are interested in helping the families of women in prison, try Peace, Faecym ***


	17. Chapter 17 Visitor's Lament

The Next few days went normal. Piper didn't climb back in her bunk but took great comfort in saying goodnight and knowing she was there. When Saturday came around she was nervous about seeing Larry. When he came in she was surprised to see he was growing a beard. They hugged and he held her close for a long time. As they were hugging she saw Nora walk in and Piper pulled back from him and sat down.

"So you're growing that beard. Tell me Cal didn't talk you in to it.." she smiled. Larry looked awful in a beard but she wasn't going to criticize him now.

"I lost a bet with him about whether he could dress a dear in under ten minutes. Now the fact I thought he meant put stupid clothes on a deer carcass I kept from him." Piper laughed. She kept her eyes on his face and forced herself not to stare at Alex and her girlfriend. Larry however, looked over and then back at Piper. She smiled at him and ignored his look.

"Tell me about everything. Are you keeping up my website?" He filled her in on things, told her he upgraded her phone and had all of her information transferred over. She thanked him. He told her about his meeting with the editor and that he didn't know if he'd make it in the New York Times again but they were looking.

"So you are going to pretend you don't see that girl with Alex?" Larry asked her in a low tone. Piper sighed and leaned back. She glanced over and saw the back of Alex's head and the bright hair of her companion, leaning close so they could talk in private.

"I know about her. We each had a life before here Larry, it's normal, " she replied in what she hoped was a casual voice. Larry turned to look at them and Piper kicked him under the table. " I know you came to see her last, but um you re here to see me right?" He turned back and scratched his beard.

"She isn't as pretty as you." He said as he looked Piper in the eye. She had to laugh. He was trying to make her feel better about Alex with another girl. He knew she share well. They had talked about sex some, in a general term, before she went to prison. LIke he had said on the show, they didn't set any true boundaries but one thing Piper had made very clear, she couldn't stand the thought of him with someone else while she was locked up.

"You are sweet to say that. I think she is pretty. They dated prior to Alex's incarceration. She told her she could see others but Nora decided to stick it out." Larry seemed surprised that Piper knew so much detail.

"Well since we brought it up, I've been talking with Cal and Pete...and thinking hard myself about what Alex said." Piper raised her hand to ask him to stop.

"I know what she said. I'm sorry if it hurt you. It wasn't cool to come and visit her like that." Larry agreed. He leaned forward though and caught Piper's eye, held her gaze and she braced herself for him to continue.

"I've decided that I'm okay with you being with...girls, even Alex in here. I just don't want you to find yourself alone and sick again. I will not date anyone else, because you are the only one I want, but I will be traveling a bit more and trying to enjoy my life more." Piper couldn't believe he'd said what he said. She turned her head to the side puzzled.

He continued, "I still want to marry you Piper Chapman. I want our life once you are out of here. All I ask is when you walk out of here, it is over for good and to never be cut out of visitation with you again."

Piper didn't know what to say. Luckily the guard called for time being up and they stood for their last hug. Alex was facing her now, having turned before hugging her. Piper held Larry and he whispered in her ear that he wanted her to think about what he said. She swallowed hard but tears started to fall. Nora seemed to cling to Alex and she kissed the red head's hair before reaching down to pull her arms away. Alex wiped a few of her tears and they said goodbye. Each of them watched their visitors leave in silence, then turned to go to the room for the humiliating strip search that always followed. She was lucky because it was Fischer that did hers today and she barely made her squat and cough before handing her back her clothing. Once they were out, Alex and Piper walked back to their dorm in silence. Each sat on their bunk and did their own thing, not talking.

"Well who died in here?" Nicky said, inviting herself in and plopping down on the end of Piper's bunk. Piper shrugged but tried to smile at her.

"We both had visitors. Piper was crying when she left and I feel like a fucking asshole after mine." Alex said, not really looking up from her book. Piper looked over at her. Why did she feel like an asshole?

Nicky asked for her, " Well we all know you are an asshole, but what made you so self aware of that today Vause? Alex lifted her middle finger at her and Nicky laughed.

"I just did. How long until dinner?" she asked to change the subject. Piper frowned because she wondered what Alex had said to Nora. They ahd agreed really not to talk about it so she didn't ask. Nicky looked over at her though and shot up a brow. Piper shrugged and Nicky said something about beef tips. Piper moaned. She hated the beef here, it tasted like aluminum.

Piper looked at Nicky, ever the curious and said, "I saw Larry. He is growing a beard and has made an offer about our relationship that I...don't know how to take." Nicky wanted more information but Piper turned away. She gathered up her soap and said she was going to go wash up before check. In the bathroom, she washed her face and looked in the mirror. It wasn't fair to Larry. She knew that. She wished she was strong enough to make it through her sentence without touching, without love...but she never counted on Alex. Alex, who had a serious conversation with her girlfriend too. Fuck she wished they'd never agreed not to talk. Sofia came in and saw her staring at herself in the mirror.

"You alright, hun? I do your hair maybe in a few weeks, it looks fine though." She put her hands in her hair and framed it around her face. Piper smiled at her in the mirror.

"You're married right? Did you are your wife make any ...arrangements about sex or dating before you got in here?" She knew it was a personal question but she didn't know if what Larry was offering was normal or so wrong that taking him up on it would ruin any chance they had.

Sofia stood beside her and reapplied some lipstick before she replied, " I told her she didn't have to wait on me and if she found someone I was okay with it. I lied, mind you, because she did find someone before Thanksgiving and I had a bad reaction. I thought about it and gave her my blessing. AS for me, she knew she didn't have much to worry about. The only woman I've ever loved was her and I'm not going to waste my time seducing a guard." Piper nodded. She knew girls that gave certain guards sexual favors. It totally messed with her mind. She even knew a few, like Daya that thought maybe they were in love. She just didn't think how anyone could fall in love with it like it is here. There is no more unequal relationship in the world than that between a prisoner and their capture. She and Sofia walked out together and went back for check. After a few times it was done and they headed to the cafeteria. Once they sat down and started to eat with the regular crowd, Piper just couldn't muster an appetite to finish her food. She did her trick of moving the food with her fork to one part, then another. She talked about making a new scrabble board because some of the letters were missing. Everyone was about done when Alex reached out and took her hand.

"Finish something Piper. Whatever is bothering you, you gotta eat." Piper pulled her hand away.

"I have a mother thank you. I'll eat something later." she rose and bussed her tray, leaving from the dining hall to go directly to the rec room. She was counting out the pieces to see which ones needed to be remade when Alex came over. She sat down with her and just folded her arms, looking at her.

Finally, " What?" she said.

"Do you remember when we played scrabble for three days straight because of that monsoon?" Alex reminded her, looking over the board. Piper smiled.

"Yeah I kicked your ass and you bet orgasms so it was a wonderful three days...for me." Piper grinned as Alex huffed.

"I let you win. You know I love making you cum, it always pleases me." Piper felt her temperature rise. She bit her lip and looked up from her counting, the number was completely gone from her mind.

Piper started over counting again as she said, "No you didn't. You kept saying the bag was rigged because all you got was vowels. I offered to swap and you said it was cheating." Alex smiled and watched Piper for awhile.

"So, do you want to know why Nora was crying? Because I want to know why you were upset with Larry and don't tell me it was his awful beard." Piper winced and dropped her hands, her count lost again.

She looked up at Alex, " We agreed not to share information about them, that we were too close to it." Alex nodded but still looked at her expecting an answer. "His beard is enough to be upset about." she murmured.

Alex hissed through her teeth and brought her hand up to pinch her nose in a way that always told Piper she was at the end of her patience. Piper felt afraid that Alex would storm off and all the ground they had gained would be lost.

"He made me an offer and I'm thinking about it. I don't know if it is fair to tell you about it until I've had time to process it. I wasn't hungry because my stomach has been in knots since he left...and since I saw you hug Nora." Piper whispered the last part.

"You weren't supposed to look." Alex stated.

"I didn't, then Larry gawked at you. You know he even tried to make me feel better by telling me I am prettier than her." Piper had to laugh at the irony of her fiancé making her feel better about her ex-lover's girlfriend.

"You are and Larry isn't a blind, well except when he looks in the mirror at that beard." Piper laughed and explained why he grew it and Alex laughed more.

"You know if you met Larry out, like when we were together, you would have liked him. You both have the same sense of humor." Piper said, then she wondered if perhaps that was the wrong thing to say. Alex nodded agreeing and said she could see that.

Alex sat up some and looked at Piper closely, deciding something. Piper felt her skin come to life and was hoping that she would invite her to the Chapel or closet. Piper wanted her so badly and it was rising inside of her with each passing moment.

Instead Alex said, "Nora was crying because I told her I loved her as a friend and had fallen back in love with you. I told her that I loved her visits but I didn't want her to wait on me anymore." Piper blinked and leaned forward. Alex looked away.

"Larry made me an offer to open our relationship while I was in here, but it all had to stop when I got out." she said quietly.

Alex rose to her feet and leaned down, whispering in her ear, "you should take him up on it, Piper. He will remain true to you. I'm going to go to the library to see what new books were donated." Piper just sat and watched her walk out. These two were going to be the death of her she thought and then she started to count the tiles again.

**Crazy days are coming, my anniversary (yay) lots of chores and what not, so I don't think I'll be updating daily for a bit. I hope you enjoy the bulk of the story thus far. Please review. Peace, Faecym


	18. Chapter 18 Sunday Surprises

Piper was surprised in the shower the next morning. Alex didn't speak to her, she just joined her and pushed her against the wall. She kissed her and ran her hands down to her adorable breasts. Piper's body was vibrating with need. She kissed Alex back with hunger and ran her own hands down her body. She loved her arms and shivered when Alex tensed them. She pushed her back and turned pinning her against the wall. Piper wasn't the 24 year old Alex used to fuck. She wanted her now, her way, right against this shower wall. Piper ran her hand down Alex's chest, slowly until she stroked her labia, teasing. Alex moaned and reached for her hand. Piper bit her lip.

"No, you started this, I'm going to finish it. Lift your damn leg Vause." Piper reached down and jerked her leg up. Alex wrapped her leg around her and Piper expertly inserted her fingers and started to move her hips, grinding against. She watched her face as Alex groaned and started to get lost in the rhythmic pace Piper set. Piper leaned in and bit at her neck and Alex clutched to her, holding on to her like a lifeline. Soon, much to soon for Piper Alex shuddered her release, turning her head so her face was buried in Piper's wet hair. Piper held her as she shook. She then lifted her head and whispered in to her ear. "Happy Anniversary."

Alex gasped. It was obvious that she thought Piper didn't remember the date. It was eleven years to the day that they first made love. Alex was always the one that remembered, except near the end when she was totally stressed out trying to keep up with and run her business. It had been one of the things that let Piper know that their relationship was failing. Piper kissed her cheek and turned leaving her in the stall. Alex finished washing and made her way out before the female officer came in to check on them. They dried off and both had silly stupid grins on their face.

Later that day, Alex waited by the closet and motioned for Piper to join her as she passed on her way to the phones. Piper nodded and circled back around, making like she was looking for someone in the Rec room. She checked three times before ducking inside. Piper couldn't believe what she saw. Alex had put up toilet paper streamers and it smelled wonderful inside.

"I traded Morello for some of her illegal body spray. I didn't want the room to smell like Clorox, I smell that enough at work." Alex looked over kind of shy as she said it. Piper went in to her arms and hugged her tightly. They just held enough other for awhile.

Alex then whispered, "I want to try this again. I know it is just for as long as you are here. I know you have your thing with Larry. I have a few conditions myself though, if you want to hear them.." she seemed so scared as she talked. Piper just clutched to her more and waited.

"I don't want to be your relationship counselor with him. I also, don't want to hear about your future plans. Tell Nicky, tell Morello, tell anyone but not me...especially as you get short on time." Piper didn't look at her she just nodded and waited.

"Also, I want you to tell me if anyone, staff or prisoner, fucks with you. You will be my girl here, so I gotta be able to protect you. I can't...we can't afford for me to be seen as weak." Piper stiffened and looked up at Alex.

"I don't need anyone to take care of me. Really Alex, you know how hard I've fought...how much I've lived through to make it this far, now you want to write me off as your prison bitch?" Piper's voice was laced with true anger. Alex clutched to her arms and made sure she stayed in their embrace.

"No, I don't want that..it will go both ways. I just want everyone, I mean everyone to know if they want to mess with one of us, they get both. Like Nicky and her family...you know like what she had with Red, but jst the two of us." Piper thought about this. She knew no one made it through prison as an island. They say not to make friends, but prison is impossible without them. Already they had this agreement. She wasn't sure what she would do though if it was another staff member. She never told Alex about Healy, for example, and she never would.

"The first part, yes I agree. I can keep Larry separate, I mean I want to be able to mention him and not feel like I'm on eggshells. But I will not share our problems with you or talk about any future plans," Piper said to her and Alex nodded relieved. "The rest I can't promise. I can tell you I will try but if I think telling you something will make you act out or get in to more trouble...I can't Alex. I will not willingly contribute to more time for you...and I know you feel the same way. At least I hope so..."Piper let her voice trail off. Alex was why she was here and she had more time that Piper. As time drew close, Piper had to trust Alex cared enough not to arrange for her to have more time. She had to trust that manipulative, conniving Alex had changed.

Alex looked at her and was very quiet. She knew herself and she knew what Piper implied. Alex leaned in and kissed her, then whispered on her lips, "That will have to do. So you want to give this a try?" Piper pulled back and smiled at her.

"Yes Alex Vause. Let's do this. Happy Anniversary and happy beginning." Alex laughed and kissed her again, then pressed her down on to the blanket she smuggled in earlier. She was slow and reverent. She kissed each part of Piper and used her amazing mouth to send her over the edge. She reached up with her hand and covered her mouth to keep Piper quiet. Piper bit at her palm and growled out her orgasm. It had been so long for her that she nearly cried. Once done, they realized the time and snuck out quickly. Both got back just minutes before check. When it was done, they heard cat calls and whistles from the room. Piper looked down the dorm a bit confused.

Nicky cleared it up, "You might wanna brush your hair and wipe your mouths next time girls, you look like a lesbian porno." Piper turned bright red and ducked in to hide in her bunk. Alex took a bow with a dramatic flourish, laughing all the while.

**Inspired by my real life love. I hope you enjoyed this little chapter of gooey lovin' times. I'm sure to think up some more angst and pain later on, I mean is it a fandom without angst? Please review if you'd like to read more. Peace and Love, Faecym


	19. Chapter 19 Tempers and Abusive Lessons

****Caution, this chapter contains graphic Male/female abuse scene*****

Piper called her brother, mom, Polly and Larry that week. She told none of them that she was back with Alex. She did tell Larry that she accepted his proposal. He told her he was going to take a trip to Mexico with friends from college and wouldn't be visiting for two weeks. That week would be his last then he was leaving on the weekend. She was happy for him and he seemed to be relieved they had settled their relationship before he left. Alex was nervous after she returned from the phone call. Piper didn't tell her what they said...and Alex tried hard to act like she wasn't curious. Piper smiled and sat on her bunk, reading her mail. She had lots of mail from friends, sending books mostly.

"So you okay?" Alex asked. They had made love in the chapel the day before. Piper had went down on Alex, something she loved to do but usually Alex didn't let her. Alex could barely hold herself together when Piper did that. It thrilled Piper and it was hard to look at Alex without seeing her as she looked, completely undone. Now, she was shy and worried. So many facets of Alex that Piper never imagined, emerged here at Litchfield. Alex told her once that she hadn't changed that much. Piper knew that wasn't the truth, but maybe Alex didn't realize it yet.

"I'm fine and we have an agreement. I don't tell you about my relationship with Larry. Your rules. I'm fine though, if I wasn't I promise I would seek help elsewhere." Alex smiled a wry smile and nodded. There was an announcement for Chapman to report to the nurse's station. Alex frowned when she heard it.

"It's my check up. Maybe I'll get out of that damn cage soon. I'll see you after, baby." She said. Alex wished her luck as she headed out of the dorm down towards the offices.

**Piper remembered how Alex had taken her to see the doctor before she left for Indonesia. Piper was to follow her in a few days. She had to have some shots and take some malaria medication. The fact that Alex wanted her to travel with her was still fresh and new to Piper. They had made love for hours that day and Piper felt closer to her than anyone she had ever been with. Piper hated needles. She had never liked them and had cancelled her appointment once already before Alex figured out what the problem was and offered to go with her. **

**"I'll go in with you and hold your hand. I got mine last week, easy-peasy." Alex said. Piper had looked at her warily but agreed and made the new appointment. When her name was called at her office, the nurse said only one person could go back. Piper paled and gulped, trying to swallow the rising panic. She didn't want Alex to know she was afraid but her hands started to shake. **

**Alex leaned over the counter, giving the young medical receptionist her best smile. "My girlfriend here is afraid of needles. I wonder if it would be okay if I went in with her. Just this once...I really want her to travel with me and well, she can't if she isn't properly protected." The receptionist smiled and pushed back her hair, obviously reacting to Alex's attention. Piper scowled. **

**"Where are you traveling?" she asked in a cute amused voice. Piper harrumphed. She had been coming to this doctor for two years, she'd never said anything more than, 'fill this out', 'have a seat' or 'the doctor will see you now'. Alex went on to describe how they would be traveling to Indonesia and hiking through the jungles. She told her that she was going to bring art supplies to villages there and they were going to make a long trip of it. The girl looked over at Piper as if assessing how a woman like her could get someone as sexy and worldly as Alex. Piper saw red. **

**She moved up to Alex and put her arms around her. She then kissed her soundly on the lips. Alex was a bit taken aback as Piper usually didn't display affection in professional areas. **

**Piper finished thoroughly kissing her girlfriend and turned her head to the receptionist, "I don't want anything inside me, needle or ...anything without her there. So we are going back now." She took Alex's hand and pulled her back through the door. Alex laughed as they walked back and went to the small room to wait. **

**"You are adorable when you're pissed. That Piper temper of yours is going to get you in trouble some day, little one." Alex said as she bent her head to kiss her shoulder.**

**Piper smirked, "No, your constant flirting is going to get you in trouble some day, baby." Alex just shrugged as if she accepted the inevitability of that fact. The doctor had come in, a young man that seemed to like that Piper had brought a friend. He gave her the shots and she nearly passed out. He gave Alex the list of symptoms to watch, in case she had any adverse reactions. He gave her pills she had to start taking right away and then wished them a great trip. Alex thanked him, went to the window and paid for her entire visit. She then walked Piper out, with her hand firmly about her waist. She never even glanced at the receptionist as they left the office lobby for the elevator.**

Of course, even though she had been called, Piper had to wait to be seen. She wished she had brought a book but eventually she was taken in to see the nurse. A female doctor was there was well. They checked her cut, BP, temperature and weighed her. They were happy that she had gained back about half of the weight she had lost.

"Do you feel you could return to your regular wo..." the doctor began. Piper interrupted her with a resounded, 'yes'! She scribbled and handed Piper a paper. "Take this directly to your counselor. He will see that your boss gets the information. Take care of yourself inmate," she said as she walked out of the office to another area that was restricted to inmates. Piper thanked the nurse and slowly made her way to see Healy. She hated that she had to give him anything.

She knocked on his door and he told her to come in. She came in, leaving the door ajar again. He got up from his seat and walked over beside her and closed the door. Pipe clenched her teeth but remained standing before his desk. Once he got back in his seat, she stepped forward and held out the medical paper.

"I've been cleared to return to regular work load." He didn't bother to look up at her, he just scribbled on a form. She took a deep breath and dropped her arm, still holding the paper. She knew she had no choice but to wait on him to acknowledge her. She looked around his office in a bored way. She noticed his pictures of his wife, or the blonde she assumed was his wife were missing from his desk. Piper wondered if the woman had figured out what an asshole she had married and dumped his ass. She looked at him and saw that his beard was scruffy, his shirt wasn't pressed and crisp as he liked and he seemed to be even more old. Karma sucks and she couldn't be happier he was in pain.

After ten minutes or so, he held out hand and snapped his fingers, like she was taking too long to hand it to him. She snorted and put the paper in her hand. He looked up with his watery, beady eyes.

"Still thinking you run the place, eh Chapman?" he shook his head and read the paper. He made more notes on the paper and she stood silent, not bothering to answer his question.

Finally after five minutes or so, she said, " That was all I needed, I should head back for count." She started to turn when he shot up from his desk startling her.

"Do I have to have you restrained inmate? You will wait right where you stand until I dismiss you. I do not work on YOUR timetable missy miss! You may be used to everyone else jumping when you snap, but you will wait on me here." He was furious and came around the desk to stand before her. Piper felt like he was massive and she felt afraid. She knew he could care less about her life, he'd proven it before. Yet, her temper rose and she gritted her teeth trying to bite back the rejoinder that popped to mind. He smirked a self satisfying smile and turned away from her.

He took two steps before the words flew out of her mouth, "I don't think any such thing. Bad day Healy? I see you are missing some pictures in here, did your wife finally realize how little you value the life of a woman and leave your ass?" He turned on her and she knew he'd probably retaliate then and there. She stiffened and stood her ground. He shook with fury but stayed where he stood.

"You will regret that Chapman. I will show you what you are truly good for...now get out of my office." Piper turned and left gladly. She was shaking all over still from her fury when she passed Nicky in the hall. Nicky turned and followed her in to the bathroom. Piper, thinking she was alone, kicked the wall and yelled in frustration.

"Woooah Chapman! What has you so riled up? Last time you were that mad you beat the shit outta..um that door." Piper turned seeing Nicky. Her foot hurt and the pain broke through her rage.

"I hate how we are treated like...I mean, God Dammit we are people, yes we made a mistake, but what ever happened to being somewhat courteous? I mean, yeah, he knows I hate his ass, but still, why not just take the damn paperwork and let me go? I asked for a new counselor, the fucker refused." Piper clamped her mouth shut and looked through the bathroom, careful to check the stalls.

"Oh you mean Healy. Yeah, I never asked you what you meant about how he tried to kill you, I thought maybe you meant metaphorically, but um if you requested a new counselor and have this reaction to him making you wait, maybe you meant it literally." Nicky said as she put both her hands on Piper's arms to calm her.

Piper took a deep breath and nodded. "I can't tell you exactly how, let's just say he was presented with a danger I faced and turned around to leave me to my fate. I hate his smug, lesbian-phobic, fucked up face more than I've ever hated anyone...and that is saying a lot." Nicky sighed and gave her a hug.

"Just avoid him while you can and don't engage. Soon you'll be able to request a new counselor or he will retire. Good news is, once he puts in the paperwork you should be able to get back on the electrical crew and move about the Camp more. With Charlotte leaving, Luschek might ask you to get your Camp license. Then you could drive us out to the electrical pump houses." Nicky said, trying to cheer Piper up. It worked and Piper returned to her dorm in a better mood. She told Alex it went well. She started to tell her about Healy but she didn't. Alex would just start plotting her revenge on him and Piper didn't want to worry about her too. He had already threatened her and she knew he held all the power. The further Alex was away from this whole mess, the better.

It took days for the paperwork to clear and Piper was released from her cage duty. She was ecstatic when he put her name in to get trained to drive the van. For a week she reported daily to the nice CO at the garage, named Mr. Aton. He told her what she needed to know about driving and showed her how to maintain the van. Piper enjoyed her new found freedom and was happy to get her little paper saying she could drive around the camp grounds on the next Wednesday. He told her to wash the van and return it to the parking lot near the end of her shift. He told her he'd check her in for Count and that she should bring all the towels and rags from the laundry bin up to the laundry when she was done. Mr. Anton would be back by the garage to close up after 8pm when the last transport van was returned. Piper didn't mind being a bit late to dinner, because she enjoyed washing the van so much. It was cold out but it was such a normal thing to do that she was engrossed in it in no time. She came in the back of the garage to the laundry basket and tossed in her towels. She was bent over trying to remove it from the hook on the basket when she felt someone behind her. Her knees were knocked out from under her and Piper fell forward head first in to the basket. She tried to turn around and see her assailant but one of the canvas laundry bags was shoved over her head. She started to feel rising terror and scream. He punched her hard in the side and she gasped in pain.

"SHut the fuck up bitch." he said as he cuffed her hands back. The voice was muffled as her head was in laundry and covered, yet she knew it was familiar.

"Please don't, I'll do whatever you say...what did I do wrong?" He brought his hand down hard on her ass and kept the other one pressing her over the laundry bin. He told her to shut up and take her lesson. Piper squirmed and tried to get away from him but at this angle she was helpless.

"Everything you say and do is wrong Chapman. You are a bitch in need of a lesson and I am the man to teach you." With that he rained down blows on her ass and punches on each side. Piper grunted and cried out in pain. After a few minutes of the abuse, he pressed his groin to her ass and she felt his hard cock. Piper felt her terror renewed and started to squirm pushing back, begging him not to rape her.

"I will do as I want. This is all you are good for Chapman...you will say nothing to no one about this or I promise you, your dyke cunt of a lover will pay. I will have her carved up so you wont even recognize her, then sent down the hill and away from you forever." Piper stopped struggling, threw up in the bag and cried harder. He had her. He knew she'd let him do anything to protect Alex. He seemed not to know what to do when she didn't struggle. She heard him unzip his pants and felt him pull up her khaki shirt and tee. He grunted, making noises and soon she felt what had to be his disgusting semen on her back.

"See what you are worth?" he said as he zipped up. He jerked up, holding on to her cuffed arms and leaned in to her ear. "Not one word Chapman or she pays. Now I am going to uncuff you, then you are going to count to fifty, straighten yourself out and return up to Camp. Remember your lesson, inmate...I'll be watching." Piper didn't as he pushed her back down in to the bin and uncuffed her wrists. He was gone quickly and she sat up, pulled off the bag and gasped for air as she slid to the floor of the garage.

She wasn't sure how long she sat there on the floor. She slowly got up and grabbed the laundry. She shook so when she took out the keys she dropped them three times. She drove the van back to its parking spot and carried the laundry bag with her inside. The guard didn't even look at her when she turned in the key. She knew dinner was about over. She couldn't even think of facing the hall. She went straight to the showers and peeled off her clothing. Piper took one of the towels she used on the van and scrubbed her body. She washed her back and sobbed under the water. She didn't hear Nicky and a girl named Sasha come in the bathroom. They were looking for a place to fuck but once Nicky heard Piper crying she sent the girl out and swore her to secrecy. Nicky knew Sasha would remain quiet, she liked Nicky's tongue way too much to fuck up their fuck buddy arrangement.

Nicky pulled back the shower curtain and saw the forming bruises on PIper's side and ass."Mother fuckers! Who did this Chapman?" Piper screamed and turned around going up in the corner of the stall as far as she could get from Nicky. Nicky held up her hands and reached in to turn off the water. Piper stood there shivering with her eyes nearly black with fear. Nicky talked to her calmly and turned to dig in the bag for a half way decent towel. She coaxed Piper out and dried her off gently. She examined her body, seeing the bruised ribs and hand marks on her ass.

Piper seemed to come out of her daze and turned to Nicky, "You can't tell anyone." Nicky snorted.

"This shit isn't your fault Piper. Surely you don't think you deserved to be manhandled like this?" Nicky responded in an incredulous tone.

Piper shook her wet head and took Nicky's face in her hands, "He will hurt Alex if we say anything." Nicky's eyes got wide and she asked who, 'he' was. Piper shook her head and said, "I never saw his face...but he was clear, if I tell anyone about this, he will hurt her. I ...can't let that happen Nicky. Please, please help me hide this." She was pitiful and all Nicky could do was nod. She tried to get Piper dressed but she wouldn't wear the Tee. Nicky saw his mess on the back and she asked Piper outright if he raped her.

"No..no penetration, just pain and humiliation. I think he got off on it so much he couldn't hold it." Piper, turned half dressed, ran to the toilet and threw up. Nicky held her hair back and then slipped off her khaki uniform and gave Piper her thermal tshirt to wear. Piper was worried Alex would know something happened as soon as she saw her. Nicky thought for a moment and then told Piper she'd take the laundry down and make sure Alex had to work late watching the dryers. Alex hated that shift as it was boring as hell and you were basically locked in the laundry to make sure the lint was cleaned out and the dryers that were running late loads didn't overheat. Usually, newbies had that shift but somehow Piper didn't doubt Nicky could make it happen. She told Piper she'd tell Alex that she had a stomach thing and went to lay down in her cube. Piper nodded and seemed like the world had been lifted off her shoulders.

She told Piper to go to her bunk and act like she was a bit sick to her stomach. Piper obeyed but first she hugged Nicky close. "You are a great friend, Nicky Nichols." Nicky just shrugged off the compliment but Piper could tell she was touched. She left Nicky with the laundry and walked straight back to her dorm, praying all the way that Alex hadn't waited on her in the cafeteria.

**Not the easiest chapter to write- but a real danger that women in prison face. Almost all of the correctional officers that work in the US are male. Please review. F**


	20. Chapter 20 Protecting the One You Love

Piper pretended to be asleep when Alex came back. She nearly lost it when Alex touched her forehead to check on her and then bent down to kiss her head. After Alex fell to sleep, Piper sat up and watched. She kept her eye on the guards in their area and prayed he wasn't there. She felt it may have been Healy but he seemed too tall. She wasn't sure and didn't know what she'd do even if she could figure it out. Her sides hurt so much she could barely breathe. If she took a deep breath it hurt and even sitting up on her mattress hurt her ass. She didn't need to look in the mirror to know she was bruised. Piper thought long and hard about how she was going to cover up her bruised body.

To her despair, she had to call her family first thing tomorrow and tell them not to visit. A strip search would ensure her bruises were seen. It pissed her off to know that he had succeeded in alienating her even from her family. Keeping it from Alex would be harder. If they were alone at all, they touched. Alex loved to put her arm around her waist and snuggle her from behind. Piper loved it when she did it, but if she did it now, she would press down on the kidney or rib area of her body. He had pounded her there with his fist. He knew exactly where to hit her that would hurt the most but not be noticeable under her uniform. She had little doubt he had done this before.

She dozed pitifully and was awakened by Alex gently shaking her. She jerked awake and pulled back. Alex was startled. "Hey kid, it's just me, you okay? No fever?" she asked feeling Piper's head. Piper melted inside seeing her concern. She remembered how scared Alex had been when she was sick and thought Piper was dying. She hated lying to her.

"Yes sorry, just stomach issues and I don't want you to get sick too. You go on to shower and I'll meet you in the cafeteria. I think maybe I can stomach a waffle." Alex nodded but looked at her closely as if she could tell Piper was keeping something from her. She gathered up her bath items and left though. Piper sat up and felt her ribs through her shirt. She winced and proceeded to change her clothes without showing anything. Any shy girl that had to suffer through gym class can disrobe and change without showing much skin. It was hard and Piper kept her body down on her bunk. She walked out and towards the cafeteria, trying to walk normal, though her sides were killing her. She felt rising panic as she walked next to two guards. One was Bennett. He didn't scare her but the other one she didn't know and he was big. She wondered if she'd have a panic attack if she saw Healy.

She took as deep of a breath as she could without the stabbing pain and shored up herself. She looked at each guard. She wouldn't be afraid forever. She'd keep quiet but they wouldn't make her more of a victim. Alex joined her and Nicky sat on the other side. Piper didn't look at her and just slowly chewed her waffle as Alex complained about Sasha pretending to be sick the night before so she had late shift. Nicky just made an excuse and Piper looked over at her with gratitude. After breakfast, Piper called her mom and told her she had a stomach virus and not to come this weekend. She also asked her to call everyone else. Larry was in Mexico so at least she didn't have to worry about that. She wanted to see him though, to be reminded that all men aren't rapist pigs. But it was for the best, it would be hard enough to fool Alex, Larry would know she was sore with one hug.

She went to work, walking slowly and was happy to learn she would drive Nicky and Jenkins down to a well house and clean it out that day. Luschek went with them, snoozing in the back of the van while she drove down. She was afraid of him but again, thought he was a bit too short to have been her assailant. What did she know though...she had been bent over the whole time in the bin. She felt a long narrow bruise forming over the bottom of her stomach from the edge of the bin. It hurt almost as bad as her sides. It took most of the day and Piper was in way much pain. Jenkins could see she was hurting as well and they let Piper sit while they hauled trash out of the building. It hadn't been cleaned out in years but they wiring for the pump couldn't even be reached until the house was cleaned out. Piper was sweating hard when they broke for lunch. She drove them back up and parked the van outside the shack. She didn't want to go to the garage and was thankful there was gas in the van. Nicky stuck to her side like glue.

Alex took one look at her and told her she had to go to the nurse. "Why?" Piper asked.

"You look like shit Piper, you over did it. Obviously you aren't over that stomach thing." Piper waved off her concern. She wasn't about to report to the nurse to be examined. "I have to drive Nicky and Jenkins down to the well house again.I can't leave them with Luschek in the Van, no telling what he'd do to them."

Alex frowned at that comment, " Has he been doing more stuff since you ...um talked to him?" She asked this leaning in a not everyone knew about Piper blackmailing him. Piper thought he may have good reason to attack her but she wasn't sure. Piper told her he was ok, she just meant he'd make them do more work and drive like a maniac if she wasn't there. Alex seemed not to be convinced but soon it was time to go back to work and they separated.

Nicky walked with her back to the van. "I think maybe I should try and wrap your ribs. They gotta be at least cracked. I can get a wrap from one of the Spanish ladies who sew. It will be made of a few old uniforms but should work. Do you have any candy in your trunk you can spare?" Piper nodded and thanked her again. She didn't know what she'd do without Nicky. They about half way finished the pump house and Luschek told them they would be finishing it tomorrow. She drove them back then returned the van and keys.

There was time before count and Piper went out to walk the track. She was surprised to see Alex join her. They walked two laps and never spoke. Piper just kept looking down waiting on Alex to share what was on her mind.

"You're hiding something from me. Boo overhead you cancel your visitations this week...you didn't shower with me this morning and you wont go to the nurse." Piper sighed but kept walking. Alex was getting upset and she didn't know what to do about it. She didn't want to lie to her but she couldn't take the chance.

Alex reached out and took her arm, stopping Piper from walking forward. "You promised to tell me things. Please Piper talk to me." Piper looked in to her eyes and saw her fear. She closed her eyes, shutting it away as she wrestled with her own raging mind.

"I..can't. You have to trust me that this is one of those times where I am deciding for us, to protect us. I ask that you trust me and let this go Alex." Piper responded in her quiet voice. Tension rolled off of Alex like a massive wave. She got closer to Piper and pulled her to her with her right hand. She hooked her arm and pressed on Piper side. Piper paled with pain but didn't cry out. Alex, ever observant realized she was hurt and fell to her knees, pulling up Piper's shirt before she knew what was going on.

Piper pulled back and yelled, "Stop it! Do you want to get us in trouble?" Alex's eyes were wide with what she saw.

Piper kept backing up from her and then they heard a CO call out, "Is she bothering you Chapman?" Piper turned and said no, it was a misunderstanding, but quickly she walked back in to the prison. Alex followed her. Piper didn't go back to their cube but instead when to Nicky's and sat on the bed. Nicky watched as Alex tried to follow and got in between them.

"Hey give her a minute okay Vause? She seems upset." Nicky was trying to placate her friend with a soothing tone, all the while looking around for guards that might report Alex if she went off.

"What the fuck happened to your side Piper? Did Luschek hurt you?" Alex was shaking all over. Nicky boxed her out of her cube as Piper put her hands up on her ears. Nicky got Alex to calm down and walked her back to her own cube. When she returned, Nicky asked how she found out.

"She reached to hold me and it hurt me. Next thing I knew she had pulled up my shirt. I can't hide anything from her Nicky, she knows by just looking at me. What am I going to do? If Alex lets on like she knows, he...he is going to hurt her." Piper was shivering all over as she whispered this. Alex came up again to Nicky's cube and watched them. Nicky gently hugged Piper and told her it would be okay.

"Get your hands off of her Nichols. I mean it. The two of you are keeping something from me and I swear I will find out if I have to beat the living shit out of you Nicky. What the fuck is going on?" Piper started to cry and a female guard came over to tell Vause and Chapman to return to their bunk. Nicky told her it was a lover's quarrel and asked if she and Piper could go walk it off. Vause was made to return to her cube and she was very pissed. Piper just walked with Nicky towards the Chapel. Nicky told her she'd join her in a moment and they'd figure something out.

Piper sat down gingerly and leaned back against the pulpit. She loved it here. It was the once place in this prison she had felt real joy. Soon Nicky joined her with the wrap. Piper held up her shirt as Nicky bound her ribs. Piper cried as she did it. She used two pins to secure it and Piper moaned but did feel more supported.

Neither of them heard the door open in front of the chapel. Neither heard Alex sneak quietly up on the stage as they knelt behind the pulpit tending to Piper's wounds.

"I can get you some more advil, but I wouldn't go for the bigger drugs, all you need is to get caught with something. Alex isn't a fool Piper you gotta tell her something." Piper wiped her face and nodded.

"I don't want to lie to her. Fuck Nicky I can't stand the thought of actually lying to her face. Besides she always knows when I lie." Piper sniffed up her tears and wiped them on her arm.

Nicky laughed, " Yeah you suck at it. Still, maybe you should tell her you fell or something, then she wont worry so much. You can tell her you didn't want to go to the nurse because you didn't want them to think you'd been fighting...or you could tell her the truth."

Piper's head shot up, "No, no Nicky and you can't either. If he finds out that she knows or even that I told you, he told me he'd hurt her. He told me as he...that he'd hurt her and send her down the hill if I told anyone about his little lesson."

"Lesson?" Nicky inquired.

"Yeah that is what he called beating me and jacking off on me, a lesson." It was then that Alex came around the pulpit and fell to her knees. Piper jumped, terrified. Alex reached out and gently touched her hand. Nicky cursed but leaned back from them to give them room.

"Who did this to you Piper? Who did it?" Alex was shaking all over. Piper scurried to her and pulled her close.

"You gotta act like you don't know, baby. Please, he threatened you. I...don't know which one did it. It is useless to speculate. He covered my face and I never saw him." Alex was shaking all over but held Piper carefully.

"What...where did he hurt you?" Piper told her he just hit her in the side and on the ass. Alex reached out and pulled down her elastic waistband pants and looked at Piper's ass cheeks. Nicky winced. There were huge male handprints and the bruises were turning dark purple and yellow. Alex pulled them up gently, then took Piper's face in her hands and kissed her lips softly. Piper cried more and begged Alex not to let on or do anything.

"Shhh..I wont...tell me though Piper, tell me...did he rape you?" Alex asked the question with kindness in her eyes. Piper shook her head.

"No..I think he would have but he ...just got too excited and jerked off on me instead. He left me like a discarded cum rag. I guess he made his point about my purpose." Piper clenched her jaw and thought again of Healy. She didn't share her thoughts or his comment. She didn't want Alex to attack a guard. One offense and she was sent out to Maximum security for the rest of her sentence.

"Did he get any on your clothes?" Alex asked. Piper frowned and looked at Nicky.

"Yeah he got it on her shirt. I kept it out of the wash so you wouldn't see it. I have it and the laundry bag she puked in stashed. He covered her face with it." Nicky explained. Alex clenched her fist as Piper snuggled up to her neck. She was so scared for Alex but it felt so good to be held by her. Alex remained calm and never raised her voice.

"So you can't go to the nurse. We will take care of you. No worries, I promise I will do nothing to be sent away from you. Besides if we told, they'd put you in the SHU for protection, probably me as well." Nicky nodded confirming her assessment.

"Yeah. We do have him though with his DNA, we just have to try and figure out who it is and I think maybe I can scare him enough to back off." Piper looked over at her. She wouldn't risk anyone else she loved. This was her mess.

"No, if..I figure out who it is, I'll deal with him. You just keep the evidence stashed. I will not pull anyone else in to this mess." She wiped her face and stood. Alex helped her up and she smiled.

Piper kissed her softly, ' I love you Alex Vause and I will protect you." She walked slowly out of the Chapel, leaving Nicky and Alex watching her go.


	21. Chapter 21 CSI: Litchfield

As the days passed, Piper slowly got better. She made many phone calls but still refused to see anyone until she was better. When Larry returned he was angry at first, but she told him she was bruised from a fall and didn't want to get accused of fighting, thus no strip search. He seemed to believe her. She did notice that she and Alex were rarely alone. It seemed that Red and others they trusted were always with them. One day she was walking down to the laundry with Morello when she saw the strangest thing. Alex had Nicky in the back of the laundry, bent over a laundry bin. She froze.

"You aren't as tall and Piper and I'm taller. She is about 5'7 and the bruise was across her abdomen." Piper walked up to them and Nicky quickly stood up straight.

"What the fuck are the two of you doing?" Piper asked with barely controlled anger.

Alex stepped forward and looked at Morello. She got the hint and left after squeezing Piper's arm to convey everything will be okay. "Simple, I'm trying to decide, using deductive reasoning how tall your assailant was..you told me he pressed against you...I was trying to eliminate the COs that are too tall or short." Piper squinted her eyes.

"You are trying to do that without me?" Alex mumbled and turned away. "What...what did you say?" she asked taking Alex by the arm and turning her back around. Alex wouldn't look at her.

"She couldn't stand the thought of you reliving it, Chapman. She was afraid your nightmares would return." Piper had trouble sleeping. Alex would hold her most nights and finally Piper was back to getting enough sleep.

Piper put her arms around Alex and pulled her close. She kissed her and whispered on her lips, "Nothing can harm me when I'm with you. LIke you pointed out, Nicky is too short." Piper removed herself from her arm and approached the Laundry bin. It was like all the bins in the prison, an exact replica of the one in the garage.

She swallowed and tried to just focus on the facts, like it had happened to someone else. "I was bent over some, then he pushed my knees in and I fell forward in to the bin like this.." she demonstrated but brought her body up quickly. This bin was empty, there were no greasy rags or soiled uniforms.

"He held me down and slipped the bag over my head, then punched me a few times in the side. He cuffed me fast so, after that he held the cuffs and kept me on my tip toes so I couldn't raise up." Piper swallowed and fought through a wave of nausea.

Nicky walked to the bin. "Could you show us?" Piper nodded and leaned over until she could barely stand. The bin moved and Alex went to the other side to hold it. Piper told her the bin in the garage was up against the wall. From her bent over position she told them how he used his hands to spank her and would punch her periodically in the side. Then he pressed against her and she felt his cock hard in his pants.

"Where did you feel it? On your upper thighs or against your side?" Nicky asked. Alex cursed under her breath but Piper just closed her eyes and tried to focus.

"Against my ass, almost directly. I started to struggle much more and that is when he..." Piper sat up quickly and clutched the side of the bin.

"Enough, this is stupid, enough I can't..." Alex started to come to her to hold her and Piper held up her hand.

"No you are right, this may be the only way to eliminate suspects. That is when he told me he'd hurt you if I told. I stopped struggling. It..seemed to confuse him. He held me down with one hand, unzipped and pulled up my shirt. I thought...I thought he was going to jerk down my pants but he just jerked off instead." Her voice was shaking but she got through it.

Nicky held up a standard tee shirt in Piper's size as she said, "The stains are up where between your shoulders. So he had to be at least.." she seemed confused. Alex took out a measuring tape, one Nicky had borrowed from the shop. They didn't have to check in tape measures. She brought it up to a certain height and then leaned over a notebook Piper hadn't noticed was on the folding table.

After a few minutes, Alex looked up and said, "He is between 6'3 and 6'5. I'd say that limits it to only five or so Officers. To be sure, let's make a small mark by the door frame of the dorm guard rooms, any officer that falls in that area, we add to the list." Nicky nodded.

"How long have the two of you been trying to figure this out?" Piper asked, moving in to Alex's arms finally.

Nicky smirked, "Since that day in the Chapel. You have to know who it is for the evidence to be used...it isn't like we can do a DNA test on our own, so process of elimination is our best bet." Piper squinted her eyes and looked closely at Alex.

Alex turned her head to the side and asked, "What, kid?" Piper ran her hands under her shirt and rested her palm on Alex's back. The skin on skin contact seemed to calm them both.

"You promised Alex. You'd do nothing to get yourself in trouble." Piper said this to her and she noted how Alex dropped her gaze.

Shifting and kissing Piper softly on the lips she replied, "I'm not going to get caught, I'm going to help you find this bastard so we can have some alone time!"

"Anything to get laid I see..." Piper said. Both she and Nicky laughed and Alex growled in mock indignation. They all left the laundry to walk up to movie night.

"Well you know, for three criminals we would have made three decent detectives. CSI: Litchfield." Nicky said with a grin.

Alex snorted, "Please bitch, I am way smarter than the average cop. Hell, If two mules hadn't got caught and turned on me, I'd still be in business." Piper walked with her, wondering all the while, which two were caught and how they had brought Alex down. One unspoken rule they had was not to discuss either of their cases. She knew Alex got time off for turning evidence against her and she assumed she got more time off for testifying about the drug lord she worked under.

They went back to the dorm and got their earphones, then headed to the movie area. Carmen and Red had actually patched things up and Red was doing all the baking in the kitchen. She wasn't top dog anymore but there was an easy alliance between them. She had brought some treats in and Nicky snagged them all a cupcake to eat while they watched a Disney movie with an animal as the lead character. It was funny though and Piper was thrilled to spend her time holding Alex's hand in the dark.

**Piper had spent much of her time in Europe alone when she was with Alex. She saw many films in different languages. She often did it to escape the heat and would make up or infer what was being said as she watched. When she got back to the flat, Alex would be on the phone but sometimes she would have dinner ready. Piper loved those nights because when Alex wanted to, she could cook. One night she made this pasta and Piper was famished. Alex had put the phone down and actually joined her at the table. **

**"Did you enjoy your movie?" Alex asked. Piper told her what she thought it was about and Alex had listened as she plated the food and opened the wine to breathe. **

**"This looks amazing, baby. I'm really hungry." Piper started to pick up her fork but there wasn't one set out for her. "Oh you forgot my fork, let me get.." Alex took her by the wrist and shook her head. Piper looked confused but Alex motioned for her to sit down in her chair. Piper complied and then Alex brought up a lovely scarf that Piper had bought for her at the market a few days earlier. **

**"Tonight, you are going to let me feed you." she said and as she said it she put the scarf around Piper's eyes and tied it tightly. Piper immediately became very wet. Alex didn't play many love making games anymore. She was always so stressed and this was thrilling. She felt Alex sit beside her and reached out to touch her hand. **

**Alex whispered to her, "I'm right here. Now, first taste this.." Piper felt the food at her mouth and she opened her lips. She bit down on what tasted like warm, buttery bread. She salivated with pleasure. Had Alex baked or did she venture out right after Piper left and bought fresh bread from the bakery down the lane. It was thoughtful either way. Piper moaned and told her how good it was, then to her surprise Alex kissed her. Slowly, one bite at a time, usually from Alex's own hands Piper was fed. **

**She was thirsty and asked for some wine. She felt Alex reach in front of her and opened her mouth expecting the glass to press against her eager bottom lip. Instead she heard Alex take a drink and Piper whimpered softly. Then she felt Alex lean forward and her amazing lips on her own. As they kissed Alex released the wine in to Piper's mouth. It made her moan with need and clench her thighs together. She was panting when Alex leaned back and chuckled softly. They finished their meal and Piper was walked carefully to their bed. **

**"Now I am going to make a meal of you, my love. Keep the blindfold on and just feel everything. I know I'm busy all the time, I know I'm stressed...but remember I always want to be doing these things with you, like going to movies or the market. Try to remember that, kid." Alex had said as she undressed her lover. Piper had never felt so close to her and it was magical. **

These thoughts were in her mind as she brought a piece of cupcake to Alex's mouth. Alex nibbled it and looked at her. Piper felt so heated by her memories she wished she could take Alex right there, right on the floor, but she leaned back instead and focused on the movie. This wasn't the time or place but damn she really wanted Alex inside of her. Piper knew Alex was going slow and taking her time with Piper after the assault. Plus, they really hadn't been left alone much.

At night in their bunks was the only time they weren't surrounded by people. At work, Nicky stuck to her like glue and Sasha was Alex's constant companion. If she was sent to deliver towels to the kitchen, once Alex came up in the hallway, Boo and little Boo would join her for the walk. Though no one knew exactly why, they knew they had to be quiet and close ranks around the two of them. Some girls had seen Piper's bruises and figured out it was a CO. Piper had been very scared but so far no guard had made a move or seemed to notice. Now, they knew how tall he was. She wasn't surprise that it excluded Healy. She thought perhaps he could have paid someone to do it but Piper knew she'd never be sure.

She was on a hunt now. She would find the man that did this and she would make him pay before Alex could figure it out. She knew her love and she knew that Alex would find a way to hurt him. Piper was determined to find him first. In the dark of the theatre she squeezed her lover's hand.

Alex leaned closer, "Are you okay?" Piper nodded.

The room burst in to laughter at the antics of two squirrels and she leaned closer to Alex and whispered in response, "I heart you, Alex Vause." Piper was rewarded with a full smile on Alex's face that was just for her.

**"have you fed a lover, with just your hand, closed your eyes and trusted, just trusted"- a little P!NK to inspire one. I hope you enjoyed this latest chapter. I appreciate all of the reviews. You inspire me to continue and I'm touched by your thoughtful words and critiques. As always, if you want more please review! Peace, FaeCym


	22. Chapter 22 A Little Help From My Friends

Nicky, Piper and Alex made the marks on the doors of each dorm. Daya agreed to watch the door in the Spanish Harlem dorm. Soon they had a list of names. Piper went through them, there were 8 different men. She crossed off four because she had never heard them speak and though she couldn't pin point the exact voice, she knew she had heard him before. Besides, two of them only worked nights and the assault happened on a day shift. The night shifts started at 11pm. Of the four names, Henton, McAlister, Dawson and Mendez, Mendez was the worse. He had just got back from his suspension and Piper found it hard to believe he would attack another inmate.

She didn't tell Alex her findings. She just took the list, thanked her friends and told them she'd handle it from there. She was mulling over the list in her head when Daya sat with her at lunch. Usually, she sat with her mother. Piper looked up questioning.

"Thank you for your help with the height thing. What can I do for you?" Daya leaned in as Piper spoke. She looked around some first to make sure no one was within earshot.

"If you give me the names and the date I can find out who had duty." Piper raised her eyebrow. The duty roster was kept in Kaputo's office and she had been trying to figure out how she would find out. Daya didn't work for him so she was confused.

"I don't want anyone getting in trouble and to be honest, I can't pay you." She didn't know what she wanted but she was sure it wasn't for free.

"Look, we all know you were attacked. We don't have to get along on everything but against rapist pigs, we need to stick together." Piper nodded. She knew Daya had been raped by Mendez. She also heard that Daya set it up for her own reasons. Piper suspected Red or someone wanted the sadistic fuck to be fired. She couldn't fault the logic. Problem was the prison administration hadn't fired him. He was right back on payroll.

"How?" Piper asked. Daya leaned back and seemed to consider.

"I got a friend that works here and can check back. That is all you need to know. I wont tell him why, he will do it for me if I ask." Piper nodded. She knew it wasn't Mendez and suspected it was Bennett. The two of them couldn't look at each other without the love dripping from their eyes. Piper nodded and whispered the names and date to Daya. Daya nodded and got up, then moved to sit with her mom and the rest of the Spanish mamis.

Piper now just had to wait. She was nervous and after work, went for a run. Nicky couldn't go with her as she had to go see her counselor. She wasn't happy about it but Piper went on her own. There was always a guard watching the track, so she felt relatively safe. Besides, he'd better run fast if he wanted to catch her on that track. Jenkins was out running as well. Piper was in awe of her form and pace. That girl would win a gold medal. She tried to keep up with her and Jenkins slowed down so they could pace with one another. Piper had been kind to her and tried to make up for the screwdriver. She had said the track didn't make them even, so Piper just waited on the girl to tell her what would.

"I hear you had to use the screwdriver on that nut." Jenkins said as they ran. Piper was amazed at how even her tone sounded.

Piper huffed out, " You know I attacked a door, but um yeah the screwdriver was there, fat lot of good it did me though, I don't know how to fight like that." Jenkins huffed and said she beat the shit out of the girl so she didn't need a knife. Piper nodded and agreed. "I followed the advice of Poussey and Black Cindy." Jenkins laughed and sped up the pace. Soon, too soon for Piper the guard called them inside. She went back to her cube and was getting her shower stuff to clean before count when Alex came in to the dorm.

"What the fuck Piper! You shouldn't have went outside without Nicky. What were you thinking? He could call you away or escort you over by the garden shack..." Alex was furious. Piper put her hand up and held Alex back. She swallowed and tried to control her fear.

"I was with Jenkins. It was fine." she began.

"You had NO Idea Jenkins was out there. You took a chance and you promised.." Alex's voice broke and she turned, stomping out of the dorm. Nicky sighed and rubbed her face as Piper walked up.

She put her hands up, "Sorry Piper, but she's right. YOu have any idea how hard it is to coordinate so the two of you aren't alone, ever in here? It was a dick move and it scared the shit out of her. She saw me coming back from the counselor and asked where you were. I told her, she asked who went with you and when I told her, she started to run towards the tracks. Healy stopped her for running and made her go back, then he gave her janitorial duty to clean the guard's bathroom. He stood and watched her do it. She nearly lost her shit." Piper felt her stomach flip. He was picking on Alex. Did he know she knew? Was he behind the lesson?

"Thanks." Piper said. She went to the bathroom, walking with Jenkins as she went. Jenkins stopped her before they got out of the clothes.

"You let me know when you want to run. I'll go with you." she kinda mumbled it but Piper nodded appreciatively. She had to get this fucker. She had to make sure they were safe.

At this point, Piper didn't care if she hurt him and went away for life. Slowly, Alex had become more important to her than her own freedom. She leaned against the wall under the luke warm water and let that fact wash over her. She shivered and shook her head. She loved Alex more now than she did at 23. How the fuck had that happened?

After her shower, she went to find Alex. She figured she was in the library. Taystee saw her enter and pointed her to the back of the library. There was a guard in the room. It was Dawson. Piper found Alex and sat beside her on the floor. Dawson moved down to keep an eye on them and Piper felt a surge of fear and anger.

"You okay?" she asked. Alex looked up and over to him. She nodded and kept reading. She was reading a book by some economist. Piper nodded and chose a random book off the shelf and read it with little interest. He seemed to get bored watching them and walked on around the room.

Once he was out of earshot, Piper said, "I'm sorry. You're right." Alex didn't say anything. Piper kept re reading the same passage until it was time to go to the dorm for standing count. Once their cube was called, they headed down to the dining hall together. It was a chicken dish so everyone was excited. Piper sat across from Alex and played a bit with her food.

"Eat it. We're okay, just...don't do that to me again, please." Alex said, Piper took a big bite and at it slowly, with an over exaggerated flourish. Alex called her a smart ass.

"So is all right East of Eden, girls?" Nicky said as she sat down. Piper thanked her too, she thanked them all for helping her when they sat down. Alex asked if she was closer to picking the guard and Piper told her she was...each one of them leaned in to hear but she told them she wasn't certain and it was her problem. Some protested but she stood firm in her conviction. She wouldn't allow any of them to get in trouble for her...especially Alex. She had told no one of Daya's offer to help and she figured it was safer that way. Piper went to buss her tray and was surprised to run in to Daya, literally at the trash.

"Watch it, puta...geez you white girls never watch where you're going." she spat. However, before she walked off she dropped a folded piece of legal pad paper on Piper's tray. Piper palmed it and said she was sorry, then dumped her tray. Piper walked outside of the cafeteria with the paper burning a hole in her hand. She walked until she was around the corner and alone, then she opened it.

It read.."Henton and Dawson were on duty that day. Henton had the yard post/rec room and Dawson had Cafeteria/dorm." Piper ripped up the paper as she walked and put it in the first trash can she came to in the hall.

It had been Henton. He was the mean mother fucker that used his boot on Alex. He had just moved to Camp from Max right before Piper got there. He could have seen Mr. Anton leave from the yard and went inside the garage to assault her before going to his duty in the rec room. Now she knew who it was, she just had to figure out what to do.

Alex returned and saw her in their cube. Piper was reading letters but looked up and smiled. Alex stopped and seemed to stare for a moment. Piper thought for one moment that maybe Alex knew she had figured it out. She always had a way of reading her.

"You want to go play scrabble? Your new board is great." Piper told her she wanted to finish reading her letters but she'd join her later. Alex walked out and was joined by Nicky. She looked over and sure enough, Henton was on duty in their dorm. He watched Alex leave and Piper felt a cold chill. Maybe hurting her had all been about Alex. He came out of the room and started to walk towards her, when she was joined by Yoga Jones.

"Mind some company while I meditate dear?" she said. Piper nodded and made a motion for her to take her pose in the middle of their cube. He walked on by her cube with a blank expression. Piper wondered then, how many times her friends had saved her from further harassment. It made sense to her now. She had heard him speak to her the day he pulled her in to Kaputo's office but she had been terrified of the situation. She had heard him abuse Alex, but her mind had been on Alex. No wonder she didn't recognize his voice. She thought maybe Healy could have paid him off...she wasn't sure and again didn't know how she would deal with it.

Piper had to think. She pretended to read her letters and thought only of how she was going to make that sadistic bastard pay.

**A short one but full of detail. I want to thank all of you that take a moment to review my chapters. It is amazing. Thank you. Faecym


	23. Chapter 23 The Bigger They Are

Piper found herself thinking day and night about Henton. She went to WAC and said only five words to Healy. It was about cleaning the women's bathroom. He said he would add night time janitorial duty to their dorm and Piper said they were fine with the current status. He snorted and asked the others. As she sat there she wondered if he had sent Henton her way. She wondered if she'd ever know.

She went to commissary and bought some items. She kept thinking about how she could hurt someone as big as Henton. She was very careful not to show any fear or recognition. Alex watched her like a hawk.

One Wednesday night, around two in the morning, Alex snuck in to her bunk. She spooned Piper and held her close. Piper snuggled up to her more. In the quiet of her bunk, Alex asked her if she was awake. Piper mumbled 'sorta' and Alex laughed.

"So you know who it is, do you know what you are going to do? You know I am really smart at planning revenge." Piper opened her eyes instantly awake. She was known to talk in her sleep. She had made surprise plans once for Alex's birthday and she asked her in the middle of the night and Piper mumbled the details. Her frustrated girlfriend was getting desperate.

Piper turned in her arms, kissed her softly and said, "I will ask you for help if I need it. I promise." Alex didn't like that answer but she really didn't have any choice. Piper saw Larry the next day. He said she looked well, like she was actually more healthy. They talked about how she worked out and ran now.

Larry surprised her by asking, "So how is Alex?" Piper had never told him she was with her. Piper answered she was as well and anyone in that place. Then she asked him if he'd seen Finn recently.

Larry wouldn't be swayed from the subject. "Are you two together Piper? Because I think maybe you are..you didn't see me for a few weeks, then now you are more together, healthier." She looked at him and turned her head.

"I don't know that I should talk to you about her...or vica versa." she said to him. He nodded then leaned forward. She smelled his cologne and wanted to touch him again. He pressed his foot forward and Mendez made a comment to stop. Larry got pissed but Piper calmed him down. He didn't know how one word from Mendez and she would lose visitation privileges.

"I want to know how you are and what is going on with you. It is how we work, Piper. "he said, looking at her in his open and honest way. He was right. She just knew she couldn't expose him to the danger she faced while there. She wasn't sure he would ever know about her attack. She knew him well enough to know it would drive him insane to know another man abused Piper and he was helpless to stop it. He'd raise holy hell, make ten phone calls and she'd end up transferred to a much more harsh prison.

But she could share some things, "When I returned from the hospital, I am now in the same dorm as Alex. I see her more and yes we are close...we are together here. We get to make love maybe twice a week but mainly we just talk, play cards and swap books. She asked not to hear about you at all, especially as my time gets short." Piper looked at him the whole time and watched the words hit him. He wanted to do all of those things with her. She could tell.

It broke her heart but the mistakes she made with Alex sent her there and living through it with Alex made them close. Maybe Larry realized that.

"She is treating you good then? Not cheating or making you feel bad about yourself? Not obsessed with other things and neglecting you?" He asked her this quietly, like an old friend.

"We are better. She is good, listens...calls me on my shit, makes sure I eat and pretty much keeps my mind off how sucky it is in here. If I'm doing better at all, it is because we've found an even ground." Piper spoke to him honestly and it felt amazing to be telling him this. She missed sharing with him. She still told him stories about what they ate or the funny smells coming from the movie room that turned out to be dead rats that got electrocuted. Yet he knew she'd been keeping things from him and now at least he felt more informed.

Maybe this would make him want to break up again. Piper knew if it did she wouldn't blame him. She couldn't hear about another relationship if he was in one. She couldn't share him. She was a selfish bitch. She accepted it and the fact he did as well, touched Piper.

Their time was up and when she left, the bubble of love she felt from him traveled with her. Another girl had come to see Alex. Piper recognized her as her cousin, Lacy. She looked like a younger Alex and had left before Larry arrived. Piper hoped it was good news about Alex's aunt. She found her afterwards in the rec room about to do a NA meeting. Alex told her that Lacy came to tell her that she was getting married.

"When?" Piper asked. Alex had shrugged and looked down. Piper got close to her and rubbed her back softly. Fischer was on duty and kind of shook her finger Piper's way. Piper pulled her hand back.

"What does it matter? Before I get out. She said she wanted to tell me in person and not over the phone or have her mom blurt it out to me." Alex explained. Her aunt was very abrupt with Alex sometimes. Piper knew it hurt to find out you will miss milestones in your family life. She hoped Cal didn't get married until she got out. She felt bad because her time was so much less so there wasn't much she could say.

Piper went back to her cube and worked a bit on her craft project. A plan was forming in her mind and tonight was step one. She used items she bought in commissary to weave her plan. Big boo came over with little Boo and showed off. Henton and Dawson were there for shift change. It was going to be a bad night. Alex saw them as she came in and frowned. Anytime one of the suspected guards were on in their dorm, Alex was on high alert. Piper knew she'd sleep lightly. That may be problem.

About five minutes before the last count, Alex went out to the bathroom to wash. Piper approached the guard door with her lamp. It really just needed it's cord reconnected but she had to turn it in to them in order to have permission to bring it down to the shack to be fixed.

Henton came out as she approached the Officer bubble, " Far enough inmate. What do you want Chapman?" he said. His voice made her stomach roll. She swallowed and tried to remain passive.

"I wanted to turn my lamp in for repair. It needs a tag in order for Officer Luschek to let me fix it." Henton nodded and reached out for it. Piper let her finger touch his hand as he reached. He froze and she seemed to blush. "Sorry. I um was wondering if you would let me stretch my legs late tonight. Maybe walk out to the stairwell? I would be quiet and meet you here when Dawson goes to check the bathrooms." She looked him in the face waited. He would either act disgusted, write her up or say yes.

"Alright Chapman. Be quiet though because if you wake anyone, I will have you bound and on the way to the SHU for trying to rape another inmate." He grinned as he said it. She nodded and left her lamp with him.

All through dinner Alex was very attentive. They finished and she told Piper to meet her in the chapel. There was a meeting with the Chaplain and Sister Ingals that ended at 5:45. They had time before they were expected anywhere.

Alex tore at Piper's clothing as soon as they were behind the pulpit. Piper couldn't believe her hunger. She pulled and wiggled until Alex could suck her breasts and she could run her nails down her back. Alex was driven and seemed to want to possess Piper with fevered strokes.

Piper held her face, "What is it?" she said as Alex entered her. She bucked up and felt her whole center turn molten. Expert long fingers found each spot inside Piper that begged to be flicked and plundered. Alex teased her so, not giving in to the need to thrust, she just made Piper moan and beg.

"You have to stay safe. You have to...fuck please Piper." Alex started to pump Piper and as she did she kissed her. Her tongue darted in and out of Pipers open mouth in time with her fingers. Alex added another finger, then another until Piper was deliciously full. Her body expanded with desire and she was quivering on the edge of insanity. Alex tucked her thumb and Piper knew what she wanted. She pushed her body down but Alex pulled her back...not quiet pushing her hand inside. Piper lost it and came screaming in to Alex's mouth.

It was waves of heaven and hell. She felt like she was coming out of her skin and like Alex in cased her and held her together. Her screams turned to sobs and she clung to Alex. In these moments, they had always been one. Sex made love blossom between them.

Afterwards, Alex dressed her and held her in her arms. She wanted to please Alex back but she knew this time holding Piper was what she wanted.

"Were you hoping to exhaust me so I'll sleep soundly tonight?" Piper asked in the quiet of her arms.

"Yes or at the very least for you to feel me when you do whatever it is you are going to do tonight." Alex said, her voice cracking. Piper kissed her neck.

"What I need you to do is to be asleep tonight...and to swear I was in my bunk all night." Piper looked at her. "Even if we have to get in trouble for lesbian activity and possibly lose our bunking arrangement." she said. She didn't mention it might send them to the SHU, because Alex already found out the hard way. She nodded and they left. Before lights out she went to the bathroom and came back the long way around.

That night Piper pretended to fall to sleep early. Alex read until 10 then cut out her light. At 2 AM, Dawson left to check the bathrooms and do a light check on the bunks. After he passed them and Piper heard the door close at the opposite end. She waited out in front of the CO office and Henton came out. He didn't speak he just motioned for her to go to the stair well. Piper walked through the door and to the top of the steps. She turned to face him as he came out and shut the doors.

"So what do you want inmate? You want a piece of this? You tired of pussy and want to try some cock?" He put his hand on his crotch to demonstrate. Piper's eyes looked down at his cock and the revulsion showed on her face.

"No thanks, I've already felt your cock pressed against my ass. I wasn't impressed then and I sure am not impressed now." she said in a dry bored tone. He blinked and looked at her stunned. "Yes, Henton I am aware you were the one that attacked me in the garage. I also have proof it was you. You see, I kept my TeeShirt with DNA evidence. I have managed to securely hide it. It is insurance. My lawyer has a letter that contains the details of my assault. As you know, my letters to my lawyer are confidential when they are inserted in to the three copies of my plea bargain that I sent out to be filed. Check the records, he was just here last week. In those letters I give the location of the evidence and what to do should anything happen to me or Alex. I will make sure you are charged as a rapist you fucking pig. Oh..by the way, I lied and said you penetrated me as well. Trust me when I say there will be other that testify to the evidence of bruising and vaginal tearing." She just kept talking in cold official tones. As she suspected he was overwhelmed with her lack of fear and detailed account. She made it seem like she shook down dirty COs all the time. Well, it was her second time.

"So you got some cum on a shirt. You think they'll believe you over me? Especially if you aren't here to testify!" He moved towards Piper and she carefully stepped to the first step heading down.

"I am not some junky. I have friends, my fiancé is a well connected writer and he will never rest until you are crucified. Tell me though, did you think up this plan on your own or did you have someone else suggest you do this to me? I mean you are one stupid fucker. Did someone else get you to do all the dirty work and therefore get all the blame? "

"I thought you needed a fucking lesson. I wanted to remind you that you are made for men, not fucking lesbo bitches. Your fiancé ain't a real man or he'd never stand for your shit. I didn't need anyone to give me that idea." Piper told him to go fuck himself. He was furious and charged at Piper with his hands going for the cuffs at his belt. She moved down the stairs quickly and threw her body against the wall at the landing.

Henton hit the dental floss trip wire that Piper placed at the top of the stairs earlier that night. He shot forward with his arms flailing. She saw him fall in to the railing and bounce across to the wall then fall in to a heap at her feet. Without even checking she was up the steps and using her nails to clean up the floss. It was woven pretty tight and had just stretched. She removed the evidence and entered back in to the dorm. He was moaning below her on the stairs as the door closed. She wasn't sure if she was relieved or disappointed he was still conscious enough to moan. Piper darted to the CO office and wadded up the floss. She buried it deep in their trash can, stuffing it into a soda can. She ran quietly back to her cube and ducked down right as Dawson entered the dorm. She shimmed out of her shoes and warm up pants and slid quietly back in to her bunk before he passed.

She forced her heart to calm and her breathing to match it. She looked across her cube and saw Alex was watching her. They just looked at one another. Piper heard Dawson get on the radio asking Henton for his twenty. There was no reply. He did it a few more times and another officer chimed in asking him to check the bathroom. Dawson called for backup in the dorm or for someone to check the officer's bathroom. It took them over a half an hour to find Henton on that landing. No one understood why he was out there. They woke up the dorm and other officers came in as the women all stood like for count. The ambulance took him out with a neck brace on his neck. The lieutenant asked him why he was on the stairs.

Everyone got quiet to listen to what he would say. He said he thought he heard a strange noise and went to investigate since the dorm was all quiet. He said he must have tripped. Piper just stared straight ahead as he was led out. Red asked if they could all go back to sleep now. After a few more minutes of checking the cubes and making sure his job was covered, they allowed the prisoners to go back to sleep.

Once they all headed back to their bunks, Nicky said, "We sure are sad that the officer got hurt...next time maybe we could hear about it in the morning, now I'll have the hardest time sleeping, due to worry." The girls laughed and Piper chuckled. The other guards, many of whom didn't care for Henton either just motioned them to bed.

"Nice my dear, very nice." Alex said as she got back in to her bunk. Piper looked over at her and winked.

The next day they heard Henton wouldn't be back because he fucked up his back. He wasn't supposed to leave his post while Dawson was on rounds so they weren't sure he'd get benefits. The news made Piper grin all day.

That day she dropped by to see Healy. She walked in after knocking and politely asked him for a new counselor. He looked at her and she looked back.

"You see I don't have a long sentence. Things change quickly in one's life, like what happened with Officer Henton. He was a strong man then one slip and now he is in pain for life. It made me think that I should really work hard these last months to get myself set up for what I need out of life. I just don't think you and I mesh well enough for that. We know where we stand, don't we Mr. Healy? Why not give me to another to handle?" She kept her voice calm. Healy looked at her for a long while, perhaps considering if she had anything to do with Henton's misfortune... then he nodded his head.

"I'll transfer you to Findle. He doesn't do his paperwork right, you two deserve one another." Piper nodded and walked out without being dismissed.

At dinner that night, the table got a fresh baked cookie from Red. They all ate it with relish. Piper asked and Red sent one over to Daya too. She winked and ate the cookie. The other women at her table all leaned in to see what Daya had done to deserve the treat. Piper told Nicky to keep the TeeShirt hidden until her time at Litchfield was done. Nicky nodded agreeing as she nibbled on her chocolate chip cookie.

That night, Piper snuck in to Alex's bunk and kissed her for a half an hour. Alex nuzzled her neck and whispered how relieved she was and how staying in that bed and waiting for her to return was the hardest thing she'd ever done in her life. Piper promised to reward her for a job well done later and then dozed in her arms, knowing Alex would wake her up in time to move back to her bunk before morning count.

**Seemed only fair- thanks for the reviews, just wanted to point out that Piper is bi and though I can see where many want Larry gone from her life in this story, Piper loves him and he is a major part of her support system outside the prison. Please review if you'd like to read more. Peace FaeCym**


	24. Chapter 24 Waterfall Memories

The next few days, Piper gathered up materials to make a prison casserole. Flaca taught her how and she made it on Saturday to share with Alex. She had stolen the butter from the cafeteria and once it was done she made her way carefully to the chapel. Sasha and Nicky were leaving and she spied Morello watching them walk down the hall. She felt a twinge of pity. Morello was determined to hold on to an idea of who she was when in reality, she wanted to be the girl on Nicky's arm. Alex met her there a few minutes later and they crouched behind the pulpit eating the casserole.

"Yummy. I didn't know you knew how to cook at all." Alex said with a grin.

"Oh I cook all the time, I took classes when I was in California. Larry got this big cooker thing and he does the meat but I cook all the veggies and the like. He made this little..." Piper let her voice trail off. She looked over and took Alex's hand. "I'm sorry."

"No..no it's okay, when you talk about life away from here, it is natural to include him. What did he make?" Alex asked with a sad smile.

Piper told her about her feast of pig. Alex chuckled totally getting the theme. She said she ate too much but was thankful for it since she was starved out later. Once they had eaten their fill, Piper took off Alex's shirt and straddled her. They kissed and Piper reached down to slide her pants off.

"MM let me get yours.." Alex began. Piper put her hands down and shook her head. She kissed down Alex's chest and took her granny panties in her teeth and pulled them down as well. She thrilled at how Alex thrust her hips up and made an involuntary noise as Piper's mouth brushed over her pubic hair.

"This is about rewarding you. I could do what I needed to do to Henton because you were safe in your bunk. I know it was hard, let me show you how much I love you for trusting me to handle it." Piper kissed up her inner thigh and then nuzzled in to her sex. Alex never lasted long under her tongue. She usually was the one giving in that department. Alex Vause loved to lick pussy. She was very talented at it and Piper had been an apt student. They didn't have as much time as Piper would have wanted but it was enough to delve in and out of her folds, to manipulate her swollen need and bring Alex to a crashing orgasm. She was laying flat on the stage when held her as she spasmed. She lifted her face from the soaking wetness and kissed up her body to her panting mouth. Piper kissed her, sharing her taste and was surprised by a sob from Alex. Rarely, did Alex cry. Piper gathered her up and kept kissing. They held each other close for a long while.

"Only you move me like this, kid. Sometimes I look at you and I see that girl at the Falls...and I want more than anything to give you back that time, free of my shit...free of the stress and illegal activity..I want to give you back everything you had when I met you." Piper had never heard Alex speak like this and didn't now what to do. She would have said Alex regretted getting caught and that was it. Had her own brief brush with addiction helped her to see the hazards of her chosen profession?

Piper said, "We can't go back and change what we did. I accept responsibility for my own actions. Through it all, I don't regret loving you." She helped Alex get dressed and Alex wiped her face, removing Piper's own tears as well as the evidence of their love making. They staggered their departures and Piper went to the bathroom to clean the casserole dish to return to Flaca.

**She couldn't help but remember the falls. They had hired a guide out of Jakarta to take them on a long day hike in to the massive jungle. They hiked for three hours straight and Piper was in a wonderful zone. They stopped at the top of a waterfall for lunch. Alex had packed them wonderful sandwiches and left over quinoa. After they ate, she had double dog dared Piper to jump off the falls. She had asked the guide if people did it and he said yes. She asked if he did it, and he said no as he laughed. Piper climbed out on the rock and really had thought better over it but it was slick and she had got to the point where jumping was a must. She recalled standing and hearing Alex call out. **

**"I take it back, kid. Come on back, Piper." She had turned to see her concerned face as she walked towards the edge. Piper blew her a kiss and then dove off. She could hear Alex yelling her name over the falls. She landed perfect and the water was amazing. There were roots deep down but she rose, completely untangled. She looked up to see if Alex was watching and saw her coming down as well. Not gracefully, but jumping in about five feet from her. Piper swam over and dove down to make sure Alex didn't get caught in the roots. **

**They both popped up next to each other and Piper put her arm around Alex. She was the stronger swimmer so she kicked them both towards the side. "You are insane!" Alex said but she was grinning. **

**After they got out, Piper kissed her and said, "Were you coming down to rescue me or just didn't want to be seen as a chicken shit, Vause"**

**"I got you in to it, only fair I joined you." She said. Then she pulled Piper to a moss covered rock and proceeded to take off her bathing suit. She looked up at the guide and he just sat on a rock and watched them. Piper gazed up at the sun and felt her girlfriend's mouth work wonders on her body. She screamed her name in to the wild. It had been one of their best days together and Piper hadn't thought about it in years. It touched her that Alex did. **

Piper watched Alex sleep that night. She thought about what she said and wondered how much Alex regretted and hoped she didn't regret the time they have now. She had Larry when she left. She had no idea what world Alex would return to or when as she just wouldn't tell Piper the length of her sentence. Piper tried not to think about those that Alex would find comfort from when she left. She closed her eyes and repeated what Alex said to her..." We have the here and the now, that is enough."

**a bit of fluff, the waterfall incident is in Piper's book, but vastly different when it comes to the motive of Alex versus "Nora". My mind is thinking about plot and I will continue the story. Reviews help! FaeCym


	25. Chapter 25 Happy Birthday

It was Alex's birthday. Piper pretended to go to sleep early and Alex followed suit. Then they snuck in her cube in the middle of the night and decorated it. She remembered that her mom used to make a big deal out of Alex's birthday and Piper was trying to do the same thing. She woke to their cube all decorated with handmade banners and signs. She laughed with delight. It was a Saturday so they didn't have to work. Piper sat in the floor before her bunk and handed her some wrapped presents.

"Limited due to where we are but I'd give you everything if I could." she said shyly. Alex smiled and reached out to stroke her cheek.

"Well I do deserve everything awesome." she said with a smirk. Piper rolled her eyes. Alex opened the gifts. There was some more lotion, like she made her at Christmas, three candy bars and a scarf. Piper tried to make the scarf but luckily Carmen took pity on her and helped her. Soon it would be too warm or it but she knew that Alex would have many more winters there at Litchfield.

"I love them. Thank you." she looked around and saw it was clear, then leaned down to kiss her lips softly. They went to breakfast and Nicky gave her three books. They were all new and ones that showed how well Nicky knew Alex. Piper tried not to feel a twinge of jealousy but failed miserably. Alex hugged her. Others gave her food and items from Commissary. They went for a walk around the track, Alex linked her arm in Piper's arm as they walked.

"So another year older...what is this year going to hold for you?" Piper asked. Alex snorted.

"The same as this year, more of fucking prison. Boredom and idiots all around...plus letting you go." Alex looked down as she said the last part. Piper didn't discuss her approaching date. She had four months left on her sentence with good time. Alex had asked her not to discuss her plans so she hadn't. But there were some realities that they had to talk about.

"Federal parole prevents contact with other convicts for the first two years out. I checked and I don't think it means I can't write." she looked to Alex with hope in her eyes. Alex walked on and nodded but didn't really speak more on the subject.

"Easter is coming. I think there is a big visitation that day. Is your Dad going to be able to come?" Alex asked, changing the subject. Piper said he was and she was looking forward to seeing him. She said Cal may come and bring Neri too, whom she had yet to meet. She didn't mention Larry. Alex said her cousin and aunt were going to try and come. They then talked about how the trees were beginning to bloom.

Alex laughed, "did you really tell one of those scared straight kids you were going to do to them what the Spring does to cherry trees?" Piper laughed remembering.

"Um yeah but I added 'in a prison way' you know..to keep with the metaphor. Besides, they had all tried cursing in their faces, Lena didn't bat an eye. I do feel bad though about sicking Pensa-fucking-tucky on her." Piper shook her head as she spoke

"Please, you made up for that and we both know how Pensatucky repaid you. I am so glad that crazy bitch is in Maximum. How do you like your new counselor?" Alex asked out of no where. Piper shrugged. She had met with him once and he seemed very disinterested. To Piper, after Healy, this was wonderful.

"He didn't say the word Lesbian the whole conversation so that is a perk. I really wish you weren't still with Healy." Piper reached down as she said it and took Alex by the hand. They were at the far point in the track and close enough it wouldn't be seen by the guard.

"He rarely speaks to me, just does what he has to then lets me go. He knows I hate him and the feeling is mutual. You never did say what it was that made you hate him so...well besides throwing you in SHU for dancing with me." Alex asked.

"You know, being that close to you...it was almost worth it. For a few moments we were back in a club with only the two of us. I love the way you dance with me, always have...you make me feel like I'm the sexiest person in the room." Piper bit her lip as she said that and Alex gave her a bright brilliant smile. They dropped hands as they moved closer to the guard but Piper still felt her hand tingle with Alex's touch. Alex didn't mention that Piper didn't answer the question about Healy.

"Let's think back to some of the places we danced...you were by far the sexiest in that dive in Java. You weren't sick yet and your body was taut, healthy and I couldn't keep my eyes off of you." Alex looked at her that way and Piper felt her body vibrate with need.

She took Alex by the arm and directed her towards the gate. They had another half hour to walk outside but Piper seemed determined to take her inside. Alex followed and soon she realized that Piper was taking her to an empty office. She tried the door and smiled as it opened. Both slipped inside and Piper turned, tearing at Alex's clothing with a haste born of total lust. Alex took her by her hair, at the base and bent her head back. It didn't hurt at all but it made Piper's knees weak. Alex feasted on her neck, licking and nibbling down as she slipped her long middle finger inside of Piper.

"You are all I need today. This...inside of you is the best present I could ever hope for..." She pushed Piper against the desk and added a finger. She sucked at each hard nipple and started to push her hips back and forth as they pressed against her hand. In and out she drove Piper mad, stopping or pulling out when she was about to cum. Piper was never quiet, so Alex kissed her, still controlling her head by her hair. Piper begged her with sweet whimpers until Alex relented and pushed her over the edge. Piper came like a shot, soaking her hand. Alex let go of her hair and pulled her in to a tight embrace. Piper shivered in her arms for a long while. She started to bend her knees to please Alex and she wouldn't let her go.

"No kid, I...came so hard with you. I swear you're the only one I've ever done that with..I feel like what I do to you I do to myself. I'll never understand it." They kissed and got their clothing back on. Piper hoped that whomever used this office, didn't come in till Monday as it reeked of their lovemaking.

"Okay so that was an amazing distraction. I still want an answer...one final gift. What did Healy do that made you hate him so much?" Alex asked casually. Piper froze. She was caught because she knew Alex wouldn't let it go.

Piper sighed and considered lying, but she looked at Alex and knew she'd know. "That night, with Pensatucky, he came outside and I yelled at him for help. I told him she was trying to kill me and he just turned and went back inside. Hell, Tiffany waved at him. I think he saw her and let her go out. He even told Kaputo he saw me leave the show to try and get me caught. I had witnesses to my injuries and he would have had to admit he let two prisoners go in to a restricted area. We were at an impasse. I thought maybe he set Henton up to attack me but I couldn't prove it. I asked Henton, he didn't seem to register what I said so maybe he was just stupid enough to think he could get away with it. Anyway, it is over. I'm no longer under his thumb." She exhaled as she finished. She had been holding it away from Alex for so long it was great to finally feel like the air was clear with them. Alex didn't speak she just nodded.

"You go first, I'll see you for count then we can head to lunch. I heart you Piper Chapman." Alex said with an amazing grin. Piper blew her a kiss and slipped out of the office.

**They were in London after a long trip to Indonesia and Piper was craving a simple English muffin with an egg. She slipped out of bed and made her way down to the corner café. She brought come coffee, muffins and the like back up to the room. Alex was still sleeping but she was thrashing about, obviously in the middle of a terrible dream. She was shouting, "No, no Mom, don't go." It kinda scared Piper as Alex never had dreams like that. She gently woke her up and Alex had clung to her with such fervor that Piper was scared. **

**"Want to talk about it?" she asked. Alex shook her head and finally leaned back against the pillows. **

**"Where were you?" she asked, seeing the bag and coffee. Piper told her she got breakfast and served her girlfriend their morning feast. Alex ate quietly and sipped her coffee, more and more becoming the woman Piper loved. Alex just wasn't Alex before coffee.**

**"When I was younger, my mom would go out on dates and sometimes I would just look at he guy and know he was bad news. She'd leave me in the apartment alone. I mean she worked like four jobs so it was always good when she went out, but sometimes I would have these feelings. I was right you know. Each time they were a jerk. One stole her money, another left her at a gas station and we didn't get our car back for days." Alex sipped her coffee and Piper just listened. She put her muffin down, half eaten as her appetite left. **

**"That must have been hard. I know how much you love her. What brought that back now?" Piper asked. Alex sipped her coffee again and shrugged. Piper took her cup and pulled her up from the bed. "Shower with me, Ms Vause. Let's go wash away all the bad memories and make some new sexy ones," Piper said in her sexiest voice. Alex followed gladly and they did just that. **

The day went well and Piper felt that Alex enjoyed herself. They had watched a movie, a comedy most people had seen before. Piper got to hold her hand through the entire thing and it made her heart soar. Red made Alex two cupcakes and she ate them slowly like they were manna from the Gods. Piper was tempted to give hers to Alex as well but she really wanted her cupcake. That night, Piper slipped in to her bed and they snuggled.

"I'm glad you told me about Healy. We have to stick together in this place. Now I know him better and will be more careful around him." Piper nodded. She wanted to warn Alex not to try anything but she knew that she'd do what she wanted to do. Piper hoped she made the right decision as she closed her eyes and enjoyed being in the arms of the only woman she had ever loved.

***thanks for all the reviews! you can follow me on twitter, same as my name here as I sometimes post storyline threads for feedback. Season 2 started filming today! Yay! Peace, Faecym


	26. Chapter 26 Holiday Trips

Easter came to Litchfield. Everyone missed Miss Claudette's coconut cake. Piper had learned to rely on the prison made food and had developed a recipe book that she shared with Larry. She was really excited to see her family on the holiday. Alex had come friends coming but her Aunt couldn't make it. Piper felt bad for her but she knew her friends would cheer her up. Piper was curious about them. She knew that Alex had probably slept with any female in her group of friends. When she met Alex, her group of friends and the drug mules she had developed had pretty much slept with her...or had some sort of sexual attraction. Piper hated how jealous she could be and was determined to focus on her family and Larry while in the visitation room.

It was a busy day and her family got there early. Her dad had actually ridden up with her mother and Cal. Neri backed out of coming because she and Cal had a fight. Larry, who rode up by himself, seemed the most relaxed. Piper felt kinda normal. What was more normal than family drama on a holiday?

"I am driving back. That is that. You aged me ten years." her father said to her mother as they walked in to the room. Piper winced and saw Cal. He walked up to Larry and glared at him.

"I will be riding back with Larry as he is going to be staying with me for a few days. It will save you a ride out to the country dad." His eyes shot daggers at Larry and Piper knew he had begged Larry to come pick him up so he wouldn't have to ride with his parents. Piper was holding in her laughter, but barely. Cal gave her his hug and held her a moment longer than usual. He whispered in her ear, "You are looking good Sis. I worry less knowing you have someone in here that cares for you. Tell her that."

Piper blinked. Did her brother just say he worried less about her? Wouldn't that mean he had to worry to begin with? Piper pulled back and looked at her baby brother. She saw a new maturity in his eyes and felt a pang of pain. He was hurt by her behavior too. Her father, mother...all of them paid for her mistake. Piper had to swallow and blink back tears. She felt the well of emotions rise and her chest felt flush.

Larry was the last one to hug her hello and as soon as she felt his body she exhaled and shivered with delight. He was practically glowing with sexual tension. It hit her and she had to push her body back from him, holding him at arm's length. She shouldn't be having those thoughts in front of her family and a room full of strangers. She turned her attention to her dad, whom she hadn't seen since the semester started. She asked him all about his classes as Larry set up a table, getting a chair for her parents but he and Cal stood up in the crowded room. The guards would weave their way through the visitors and then tell the clerk to limit the amount. It was extended time on Holidays but Piper knew it meant that prisoner's who had families that couldn't arrive earlier in the day took the chance of not getting in to see the inmates. Her family limited their visit to an hour and a half.

Near the end of that time, Alex came in to the room. Piper glanced over and saw Nora, a blonde she didn't know that looked a bit like her and a blast from their past. Roger. He had been one of many people Alex hung out with but one she never recruited to be a mule. He was a friend that helped her with maps of cities and yes would occasionally go partying with them. He was gay and positive. He was more thin than Piper remembered but she could see he was hanging in there.

After tearful hugs, Piper watched her family go. She then bent to start to unlace her shoes."Psst. Happy Easter, Pipes." Roger whispered. Piper looked up in the busy room and a guard walked by. She waved to him and Alex turned. She was happy and smiling. Piper was very happy to share the bubble of love that she always had with her when she left visitation.

She went through the search and walked out to the hallway window to wave goodbye as they waited for the last gate. There were lots of people in the line and she was thrilled to see her Dad. Larry pointed the window out to him and he stopped when he saw his little girl. Piper felt a lump in her throat and she waved to her Dad. He held up his hand and then her Mom came over, blew her a kiss and took her father by the hand. She walked him out, with her hand tucked in his arm. Cal followed behind them, shaking his head. He didn't look up at the window.

Piper waited for Alex by the window and looked in to see her friends leave. Then to her surprise, Alex was visited by her lawyer. He was a friend too it seemed but Piper could see he was a lawyer. They spoke quietly and he stayed about a half an hour. That was a long drive for a half and hour on a Holiday, Piper thought. She wondered what he had to saw to Alex. She couldn't read her face but her body told Piper whatever it was, it wasn't good.

They were heading back to the dorm when Piper asked, "okay, I'm going to be nosey, what did your lawyer want?"

"His wife's family live near here. He just popped in to say hello and share a few tidbits about my case." Alex tried to sound like it was nothing.

Piper nodded, "Tidbits?" Alex stopped walking and looked at Piper. She seemed to judge if she should say anything.

"This might ..effect you as well. I have to collaborate with the cases against others in the organization. Most pleaded guilty but a few didn't. I have to go testify in Chicago. It seems the Department of Corrections will be sending me on a trip." Alex said as if it was matter-of-fact. Piper frowned. She had heard that the trip to testify if out of state was horrendous. She felt panic rising but held it off and just nodded slowly.

"When?" she asked. Alex shrugged and started to walk on..Piper hurried to catch up.

"He said he didn't know for certain, that they can have delays. However, they would transport me and have me ready rather than risk a delay due to my not being in place. I will go to a holding facility and await the trial there. He said they should return me here when I'm done. Unless they think I may be recalled. He said I'd be there most likely for the duration of the trial." Piper felt a knot of dread in her stomach. They would be separated and soon. Alex would be marched out in chains and...oh God what if she didn't get back before Piper left? Piper couldn't breathe. She stopped walking and bent forward. Alex stopped and hurried back, putting her hand on her shoulders. Two CO's came by and told them to move to the dorm for count. Piper straightened out and walked to the cube.

Alex sat with her on her bunk and held her hand. She must have been thinking the same things. A trial can take months. " Let's not tell anyone, okay. Not till I get a date. He said to call him next week and he'd be able to tell me when or at least within a day or two." Piper nodded and didn't speak. She didn't trust her voice and her ability not to burst in to tears. She felt, yet again, completely helpless.

"Looks Piper, I don't think you know him, but they may ask for you too. Perhaps to collaborate my testimony..I don't know. I bet you made similar agreements to testify?" Piper nodded. They had never discussed their cases. Piper had agreed to offer testimony against Alex and the other runners, like her partner. She never needed to testify because they had all pleaded guilty. It had taken years for it all to work out but she knew she was as vulnerable to her promises as Alex.

"Just talk to Larry's dad and have him check." Piper thought for a moment that maybe they would send them both together. That made her feel better. If she was going to be called to testify, at least she would go with Alex. She would know Alex was safe. The thought of wearing shackles and walking to an airplane, to ride the whole way. Con Air. Piper had heard horror stories from other inmates whenever someone was taken out in those restraints and the big orange uniform.

"Okay, I will. Let's get ready for our feast tonight. I am bringing egg salad." Piper distracted herself, getting the eggs from the can with the ice in it and mixing up the eggs and relish with the hot sauce. It was enough to feed about five of them a spoon full. Alex added the condiments and watched Piper mix it up. They wanted to enjoy the time they had together.

**Piper had left Alex in London once to go home for Easter. Her grandmother's 75th birthday was the day after Thanksgiving that year. Alex had paid for her ticket and it would be the first time they hadn't travelled together. Alex took her to Heathrow and though she hated the parking there, she went in with Piper. **

**"You have everything?" Alex asked her at the security check desk. **

**Piper nodded and did a mental check again. Piper leaned over and kissed her then for the first time said the words, " I love you." Alex had said them before, a few weeks prior when she was sick from those mushrooms. They had teased each other about whether it had counted, but this very natural phrase popped to Piper's lips right before they kissed. Alex pulled back from the peck and looked her in the eye. **

**"Yeah, so I said it. I'm going to miss you too. I know, mushy but live with it Vause...you are with a girl and sometimes we say things we feel." Piper put her hands on her hips and dared Alex to crack a joke. **

**"All I was going to say is, Ditto Kid, " she said then she pushed her glasses down from her head, turned and walked away. Piper smiled all the way home.**

****Hmm, please review if you'd like to read more. I love all the follows and reviews you send. I've been really productive this week so I've been able to carve out time to write this as well. I'm stoked to see pictures on tumblr and twitter from the Cast. Season 2 is going to be fantastic, I'm sure. Peace, Faecym**


	27. Chapter 27 Free Falling

Piper and Alex spent every moment they could with one another. Work was the worst. Piper's favorite time was after dinner but before lights out. They pretty much stayed in their cube. Alex read to her for a few hours each night. Piper had asked her to, so she sat in the floor and leaned against Alex's bunk and listened to her read. No one really complained and a few girls started to hang out next door just to listen.

It helped Piper to hear her voice. She tried not to worry. She spoke to her attorney and he said she could be called but it would be after Alex had testified. He didn't think she would be sent to wait in Chicago. She wasn't on the list. He told her after speaking with the Assistant DA that was co counsel on the case, he didn't think her name would be add. Then he told Piper that she was lucky and to stick to what she was doing and she'd be in a half way house in four months. Piper was set to do her last month in a half way house in Brooklyn. Piper couldn't think about that now, all she could think about was Alex leaving. Since her second day there Alex was there. Granted she hated her at first, but she knew there was someone there that cared for her. She knew when Alex gave her the food. Someone in there cared if she lived or died. Piper fell back in love with her here, with all the crap bared and laid out as only Prison can do.

Piper wasn't sure she could do prison without Alex. She was thinking about that very thing when she was walking back from the cafeteria where she'd changed two bulbs. She had on her oh-so-sexy tool belt and she was adjusting it trying to get it to fit when she heard Alex's voice at Healy's door.

"Thank you Mr. Healy. I don't know what I'd do without you here. I had better return to my shift, " she said as she bashfully exited his office. Piper froze. Alex has never been bashful around a man in her life. Well, not since Piper has known her. As the door closed Alex's whole demeanor changed and she literally shook herself like she could free herself from a sickly fog that clung to her. She looked up as she did and saw Piper standing there, with her hands on her belt buckle.

"My my, please tell me the dryers are on the fritz and you are heading down there now to repair them." Alex said in a low tone as she walked down the hall away from Healy's door, beckoning Piper to follow her to the stairwell. Piper walked towards her and down to the stairs. She stopped before the doors and pulled Alex to the side.

"Actually, I gotta get back we have a video to watch on how not to get electrocuted. I personally think I should have started my job there with that video, but it seems Luschek just found it. What are you up to with Healy?" Piper crossed her arms and tried not to feel sick. She didn't want Alex to do anything to get put in SHU before she had to go. She wanted every second they could get.

"Something I've been working on for awhile. Nothing to worry about...I promise I will not get sent away before..I am sent away. Okay?" Alex said with a sweet smile. Piper just swallowed and told her she'd see her before dinner.

Piper went back to work and watched the video with Nicky. She asked Nicky if she had any idea what Alex was up to and Nicky seemed to be surprised.

"Look, Chapman, Vause keeps things close to the vest. Trust in the devious mind of your girlfriend." Piper nodded and watched the video.

Alex went to the phone to make some calls after dinner. Piper walked back to their cube. She was going to call Larry but there was a line already forming and she didn't want to seem like she was listening. She stopped by Big Boo's cube and asked if she could ask her somethings.

" Sure, come on in, Little Boo, down." Little boo jumped down on command and curled up at Boo's feet. Piper petted the dog then sat on the bed.

"I want to ask you something quietly and I'd like it to remain that way." Piper asked in a low tone. Boo leaned forward to listen after agreeing to keep it quiet. "Would you please tell me what to expect on con air and maybe in facilities like Chicago Metro?" Boo clenched her jaw and nodded slowly.

"That sucks, kid. Listen, the worse thing is the trip there. You'll probably have a lay over for a few days, maybe week in Louisville. Most Cons from North East go there. They wait and get a big group if they can. You travel with guys and they can say kinda rough things. They can't get to you but it is still scarey. Um..tense your wrists when they put on shackles and wear two pairs of sox. Your feet will sweat but your ankles will not bleed if you trip and you will trip. People aren't meant to run like that and they always make you rush to the plan on the tarmac. It is the most vulnerable place while loading, in the open...makes the guards scared. Eat anything they give you to eat or drink because you don't know when you'll get it again..but if you can go before you get shackled. Ask them here, one of our guards will put you in..hope for someone like Fischer, though it will probably be Belle or Gonzalez," she said in a low tone of experience. She told Piper she had to go twice to Chicago to testify and it wasn't an easy thing but she'd survive it. Piper told her she didn't know if she had to go but wandered. Alex still didn't want anyone else to know so Piper had kept her mouth shut.

Boo spoke quietly and Piper just listened. She made detailed mental notes of what she said and then thanked Boo. She told her she'd make her a casserole. She was getting almost as good as Flaca at making it. She was definitely the best at it in the suburb dorm.

Piper went back to her cube and took detailed notes of everything Boo said. She would tell Alex this soon. She hoped Alex didn't get mad she asked. She would have told everyone and asked advice, researched where she was going...but Alex just focused on getting back at Healy and spending time with Piper. They were truly different people. She meant what she once said to Alex, she didn't have the balls to free fall through life like Alex did. She liked a rope, a safety catch and sure footing.

Prison life was anything but that. No matter how much she tried to plan, she had no say over where Alex went or how she was treated. It made her so frustrated. Once she was there, she could write to Piper. She would be there for at least three weeks and it would take about a week to get there, if she was lucky. Piper made a detailed list of things she had to do to help Alex. It helped her feel in control. Alex came in to their cube and sat on her bunk. Piper sat up from the writing and tucked her feet up sitting cross legged in her socks. She just looked at Alex.

"He said it will be sometime this coming week. He spoke with the attorney and made some things clear. I should be returning here when I'm done to continue my sentence." Piper swallowed relieved and reached out and took Alex's hand, not speaking but listening. "He also said this totally depends on how the trial goes and when it came to legal matters there were many factors. I will be staying in house at Chicago Metro the entire time I may be needed to testify." She finished and leaned back.

"You don't know the exact day or time?" Piper asked. Alex shook her head. Piper knew it was futile. She could keep an eye out for the transport van but really Alex would be called when the phone rang, told to pack out for a trip, she can load some things in to a laundry bag, then she is shipped out, cuffed in a Van.

"Logically I'd say Wednesday as that is when the transport from Maximum usually runs. Healy told me this morning. " Piper raised her eyebrow as an inquiry. Alex smiled slyly.

"When are you going to tell me about what you are doing?" Piper said. " Are you going to speed it up so it happens before you go?" Alex shook her head. What had Alex said before, 'Revenge is a long game'.

"Here are some things I found out. We need to make sure you have plenty of envelops and stamps. Plus tooth brushes and items like that. " Alex nodded and let Piper get up and walk around their cube, pacing back and forth. Nicky came down and Piper stopped talking about what they had to do to prepare. She looked at Piper and then to Alex, just sitting on Piper's bunk watching her.

"Um, am I interrupting something?" Nicky asked.

Alex started to reply and Piper jumped in, speaking in a hateful tone. "Yes, you are interrupting something, but since we live in a big, loud basically fuckin' open room, come on in!" Nicky's eyebrows shot up and Alex motioned her over.

"Don't mind her. See, she just found out for certain that I'm being sent to Chicago to testify against someone in my organization next week. Piper can't fix this or control it in anyway so she is freaking out." Alex said in a quiet voice. This infuriated Piper, finally Alex just casually tells Nicky after days of nothing to anyone. Piper realized as she thought it that Alex was hoping it didn't happen and she'd not have to tell anyone. Piper sank to Alex's bunk and grabbed her pillow. She held it to her stomach.

"Well you'll be back. It sucks, the ConAir trip. I've been out once to testify against my dealer. I only had to go to New York City. It was an uncomfy van ride and a stinking holding cell for me. I was there nearly two months. That cell was barely bigger than the SHU." This did little to alleviate Piper's worry. Now she feared Alex would get sent to NYC and be left in that cell or lost in the shuffle. She clutched Alex's pillow tighter.

"Piper gotta go too?" Nicky asked. Everyone knew by this point that Piper and Alex were in there under the same indictment.

"No and I made it clear to my lawyer she didn't know the guy at all. I was very clear about some things." Alex said. Piper's head shot up.

"What things?" Piper asked. Alex shrugged. Piper was just now beginning to hope she could go with Alex. At least she'd see her. She didn't know the man at all but maybe she could convince Larry's dad to speak to the prosecutor again. She was actually trying to think of things that could convince them that she knew the guy.

It hit her then. Alex didn't want her to go. Alex didn't want her to go so much she would even tell her Lawyer if they wanted her to testify, Piper stayed out of it.

"Did you?" Piper asked. Nicky looked at both of them and then excused herself and left. Alex stayed where she was sitting, looking down at her hands and not a Piper.

"I knew you'd figure it out, so I went ahead and told you. Yeah, I told him on Easter that you'd better not get called. I told him that you didn't know him and I wasn't going to be the reason you missed your out date here. You and I both know that this trial could take over three and a half months. You deserve to finish out here where you've worked so hard to survive." Alex looked up as she said it. Piper was livid. Alex had taken a chance with her own sentence. They could say she isn't cooperating and add to her sentence. It was a stupid,risky move just to keep Piper at Litchfield. Piper stormed out and practically ran to an outside door. It was nearly time for lights out, she wasn't supposed to be outside. She had to bend over to breathe. Fischer came outside with her and just stood by the door. She let Piper gasp for air and fight not to cry. Finally, after a few minutes, she opened the door back in to the prison. Piper mumbled thank you as she passed her and walked back to her cube.

Alex was ready for bed and looked anxious at Piper as she came in and sat on her bunk. She opened her book and turned to the last chapter. She started reading. Piper stayed on her bunk, angry. She listened though and eventually moved down from her bunk to go sit beside Alex. Alex leaned up and handed Piper her pillow. Piper hugged it close as she listened.

**As most of you know, the real Piper didn't finish out her sentence at Danbury and it was there that she did her time with her real ex-girlfriend. This will be a variation on that theme with some angsty star-crossed and separated lovers. BTW, **OITNB **#**OITNB** in this Sunday's (8/4) print NYTimes Bestseller list- combined e-book/ hardcover as well as paperback nonfic list.

Reviews please!Peace, Faecym


	28. Chapter 28 Confessions

Piper talked to Larry the next morning and told him about Alex leaving. He was quiet for awhile.

"It's okay if you feel kinda good about it. I mean, if you were seeing an old girlfriend and told me she had to go out of town for awhile, I'd be kinda glad." Piper tried to encourage him to talk.

"No..no I'm not glad at all. I'm scared to death you are going to be sent to testify as well. Plus, I...am scared you will get sick again," he said in a low tone. Piper clutched at the phone and waited to see if he would speak more. She then told him that Alex tried to arrange that Piper didn't have to testify but they were both at the mercy of the courts.

"Well, if she wants..have her put my number on her PAC and when she gets where she is going, she can call me and I'll be a go between...or you can try Polly or my dad..no scratch that, don't you dare ask my dad to keep tabs on Alex for you." Piper agreed that was a bad idea. She was touched that he offered and told him she'd talk about it with Alex. He was coming up to see her on Friday and some friends of hers from college were visiting on Saturday. Piper told him she loved him and then hung up the phone. She walked to the dorm and found Alex putting the book she had been reading to her on Piper's locker.

"I'll finish it when I get back. The bookmark is in the place. Here are some other things I want you to keep." She put a bag of items in Piper's locker and Piper just watched. She blinked a few times and took a deep breath. Gonzalez was on duty and she never cared if they snuggled. Alex curled up on her bunk and patted it to invite Piper in to her warmth. Piper moved and spooned with her girlfriend.

"I told Larry. He said he'd be a contact where you could call him and talk to him and then I'd know you were okay. I was thinking though maybe I could put Roger's number on my list. My new counselor doesn't really hold to the limit rule with numbers and names." Alex nodded and kissed Piper on the base of her neck.

"How about I add Larry and you add Roger. I can't promise I'll call Larry but if I can't get a hold of Roger, then I'll give him a try. I don't know if it will matter as much about the list. From what I've been told by a few that have been there, they aren't the best with paperwork." Piper turned and looked at Alex. She knew that in Prison nothing got done without paperwork and if they didn't do it, a prisoner was completely lost. Again, fear coursed through Piper's body. She reached out and pulled Alex close, pressing her forehead to hers.

Usually by that time in the afternoon, there would be two or three people hanging out in their cube. However, this time no one came around. The guard didn't interrupt and no friends popped over to borrow something or ask Alex to read. The Suburb dorm just let them be together. Laying there on the bed, Alex began to whisper to Piper. Piper couldn't speak without crying so she just pressed her body close and listened.

"I never thought I'd find anything that felt remotely like love again. I fucked up so much with you that I convinced myself I had destroyed my one true chance at happiness. I told you I turned your name in and was like 'fuck you'...that is true. What I didn't say is that after I did it, after I told them about you and how you did that one illegal transfer, I asked for a trashcan and threw up. I was shattered and I realized I had fucked you over out of spite and started right then to promise to make it up to you. In my mind, like I said...I wanted you to like me. I dreamed we'd be together in some fashion again and I'd be able to fix it. I hoped...I hoped you'd not do any time at all but I knew it was pretty much a sure thing. Oh kid, I know you did the deed and I know you did the crime. I know that but see, I love you and I should have done everything I could to keep you safe. Even when you didn't love me...even when you left me, it was my job to take care of the one I love. So, if I don't get back here before you go...remember please that Alex Vause loves Piper Chapman and I'm sorry for any pain loving me has caused you, " Alex didn't even try to wipe her tears, she just held Piper close.

They dozed and Morello gently woke them when it was time for Count. Piper was still foggy and was rubbing her eyes looking down when Mendez went by for count.

"Ahhh wipe your girlfriend from your face, Chapman and stand still, " he snarled. She shot him a hateful glance. He frowned and said, " Lost count, Chapman was distracting me. Start over." The prisoner's moaned as they were already on their second count. They went through again and as he finished, he pushed Piper against the cube wall and patted her down.

"You look like you wish to do me harm, inmate. You don't have a shiv waiting for me?" Piper clenched her teeth. Alex protested and started to tell Mendez to fuck off. Red got between them and put up her hands. Alex had to watch as Mendez groped Piper's breast again as he brought his hands down. Alex was livid but Piper just looked at him with a bored expression. He was a bit shaken by her cold stare. He hadn't interacted much with Piper after his return from suspension. He didn't know the new Chapman.

"You're all clean...this time," he said with a snarl. He then leaned in and past Red to look at Alex and said, "Don't worry I'll take good care of Chapman while you are off doing your civic duty." Alex paled and Piper growled. She was about to grab him by his shoulder and jerk him around to face her when Nicky put both of her arms around Piper and hugged her tightly.

"Oh we all will take care of her Officer Mendez." Nicky over exaggerated the hug. He smirked and left the dorm. Alex walked in and sat on her bunk. Piper thanked them and followed her. They both had lost their appetites. Piper decided to make a casserole and asked Alex to stay with her rather than go to dinner when their cube was called. Alex nodded and Piper went to get some of the ingredients she needed. When she returned a little while later, she had their dinner.

They sat together in the middle of their cube on the floor. Alex had laid out a blanket and was laying down reading a book when she returned. It was very much like a picnic and Piper thought it was adorable. Alex was pleased to make her smile.

"Do you remember making love in that hammock?" Alex asked after finishing her part of the casserole. Piper smiled a goofy sexy grin.

"Oh yes. You fell out twice until you figured how to fuck me without tipping us over." Alex laughed nodding.

She pushed some hair out of Piper's face and said, "yes I never figured out how you stayed on but I went flying." Piper shrugged and told her a girl has her secrets. Alex laughed and took a sip of her water.

"I loved that hammock. I have never been in another one. Larry got one for the roof top of our apartment. I told him to take it back. I never told him why, because I never mentioned you." Piper put her food down saying this.

"That must have been hard. I mean anyone that knows me now, even Nora, knows I loved..and lost a girl named Piper." Alex said.

"And now you have her again...and Nora knows. I didn't tell anyone about that time. You know no one in my family knew what you did and I couldn't explain why I broke up with you without explaining. Even Polly who knew the most about you, couldn't figure out why I left you. I mean I told her you worked too much and neglected me. After a week on her couch crying, she actually tried to talk me in to calling you, just to check. I did something else." Piper looked up at her and then back down.

"What did you do?" Alex asked. Piper put the dish aside and sat up on the blanket, crossed legged before Alex.

"I went to your Mom's graveside service. I stood way back and a bit behind a tree. Polly went with me. She thought I'd approach you afterwards but I didn't. There was this girl there, a tall blonde and she was helping you. She was by your side for each step you took. I felt like a pariah. I just watched until everyone left, then I paid my respects." Piper said quietly.

"That was my old girlfriend, Kendra. She married another good friend, Jenn. Jenn was in jail at the time. I don't remember much of the day, it is blur really. I know my aunt didn't like what I chose for mom to wear and Kendra told her to shut the fuck up about it. I remember thinking ypu'd said the same thing to her but in a more polite way had you been there." Alex said with a sad smile.

"No shut the fuck up was probably the best thing to say to your Aunt." Piper replied in a voice with dead pan reflection. Alex nodded and laughed.

"I can't believe you were there. I wish I had seen you. I would have begged you back. I was in so deep with the drugs though, I would have lost you. I tried to go clean, to break away from it more than once after you left...it wasn't something you can just decide to quit, ya know." Piper nodded. She was able to just quit and she knew that was because Alex had not pushed her to do more in the organization. She wanted Piper to do more but gave in each time Piper said no until Piper knew she'd give in the next time she asked. Piper left her out of survival. She thinks maybe Alex could see that now.

Mendez was on in their dorm and though he probably wouldn't mind if they snuggled, it was a sure thing he would watch and get off on it. So they did not. Piper told Alex about her first attempts at making soap. She talked about how Polly had this gift to know exactly what would smell good and Piper had to learn by experimenting. She told stories of smells she created and how one actually made everyone sick. Alex laughed and laughed at her antics. She learned by listening to Piper about how open and free her life is in Brooklyn. She talked about how she worked to make a living in radio production prior to the business. Alex grinned and asked questions in all the right places. Too soon it was time for lights out.

"Goodnight Alex, I heart you." Piper said as she slipped down in the bunk.

Alex looked at her and said, "Ditto, kid." and Piper's face burst in to a big grin. They stared at each other for a long time in the dim light of her bunk. It was never quiet nor never dark in prison. Piper had to learn to fall to sleep with the noise and lights, but no one told her how to sleep with Alex that close. Piper wanted to get in bed with her and sleep but they couldn't risk it. She knew Mendez and a few others had caught Boo and another girl in bunk. They agreed not to tell on them if the girls continued while they watched. Piper knew that Alex wouldn't allow that and she didn't want either of them to go to the SHU before Alex left. Each moment with her was precious and Piper could wait to be held.

The next day, Piper was up early for a five am shower. She slipped out while Alex slept but to Piper's surprise Alex joined her in the shower. They hadn't made love in the shower since their anniversary. Piper had taken over that love making session and pressed Alex against the wall. This time it was all Alex. She bent to her knees and practically threw Piper's left leg over her shoulder. Piper cried out as soon as Alex's mouth found her clit. She was amazing. Alex had the most talented tongue. It flicked and moved in stiff purpose filled circles and made Piper grind in to her mouth. Alex would lap and lick in a certain way that Piper could feel her drinking her sex like a fountain. Piper cried out and came hard, shivering against the wall. Her head was light and she felt woozy. Alex was up in a flash and holding Piper until her shakes stopped. They washed off and slipped out when other girls came in and a few made wisecracks about Alex eating her breakfast early.

Piper went to work and tried not to look for the transport bus all day. She knew it was unlikely that the bus would come on a Monday as there was probably paperwork that needed to be filed with each convict that would take a ConAir flight. Still, she spent a good portion of her time outside. At one point she was told to study the hydraulic lift that would be used to change the light pole lamps. She enjoyed the heights and from up top of the lift, she could get a good view of the Maximum Prison parking lot as well. Piper looked for the transport bus but was happy to find it wasn't on campus. Lunch came and went without Alex. Piper was worried but Nicky told her she'd seen Alex going in to Healy's office. Still Piper held her breath until she saw Alex back in their cube.

She ran to her and gave her a hug, "Really, send word if you can't make lunch, okay? I am scared to death they are going to just.." Piper swallowed and nodded her head to finish her sentence.

"I was with Healy. He actually fed me lunch of potato chips and a sandwich from the vending machine." Alex said with glee. Piper couldn't believe he did that.

"So your plan is working?" Piper said in a low tone.

"Oh yes, when I get back I'll spring the trap and his ass will be gone. Well or at least humiliated. He is lucky really, my first two plans ended in his life gone. I calmed down though and reminded myself, I'm not a fuckin' murderer." Alex said. Piper was happy to hear it but she could identify with the rage. The rage had saved her ass with Tiffany tried to kill her. It...touched her so completely that Alex could feel that rage over her. She admitted to herself that she had felt that way with Henton...mainly because he threatened Alex. Alex told Piper she put Larry's number and name on her list. Piper said she put Roger's on hers as well. So they could at least talk. Piper told Alex she'd call Roger later so they could catch up. Alex declined to repeat the offer with Larry.

They cleaned up their cube and stood for count. This time they finished quickly and they were called to dinner at regular time. After Piper suffered through beef tips and was thrilled to see carrots on the salad bar, they went to the rec room to play cards. Even in the room, it seemed the others let them be and just spend time together. Piper looked around at their friends close by and smiled. Nicky winked and Morello blew them a kiss. Piper marveled again and how lucky they had become to have made these types of friends here.


	29. Chapter 29 See You Soon

On Tuesday Piper was a nervous wreck. She didn't want Alex out of her sight. It couldn't happen because they had duty. She pushed it though. She asked Luschek to go out and change bulbs in the offices. She knew she could sneak down the stairs to see Alex. Instead, he told her she had to cover the cage because the other girl had a video she hadn't watched. Piper was livid. Nicky almost talked him out of it but Piper snorted at something she said and was put in the cage.

"Your temper is awful Chapman. Just chill, I am going to be outside unloading the bulbs. I'll keep an eye out for the bus." Nicky whispered. Luschek put the video in and made the new girl, Arquisha sit and watch the same video they had watched the week before when she hadn't been there. She looked relieved not to be in the cage but did give Piper a sympathetic look.

**Piper couldn't help but remember that night in Jakarta. The night before they left where Alex went out to oversee some business and didn't come back. Piper had called and called but the phones Alex got them to use down there were sketchy at best. The best line was in the hotel room. Alex seemed upset when she left and Piper had gotten this shot of fear in her stomach. **

**"You don't handle things like this. Let someone else do.." Piper began, standing in front of the door to the hotel room. **

**"There is no one else. Look, there are two new mules, one is totally fucked up and they are sobering her up. I have to have her do this Piper so I need to make sure she wont get clocked in the airport. I also have to see if I move the shipment back. Something I can't do unless I can call my...boss and tell him that I have no other way than to delay. It has to be me, Piper. I'm the one here." Alex explained for the first time. Piper could tell she felt she had to do this. **

**"Well I'm going with you then. You may need help." Piper began and moved to find her shoes. **

**"No. The kind of help I need you to do now, you wont do and I haven't asked you. No, this is baby sitting a druggie and it isn't pretty. Just, let me deal with this and I'll be back in a few hours. Roger will be in town to go scuba diving sometime tonight. Just hang out here and he'll call when he gets to his room. You two can go out and party to the wee hours. I'll catch up to you. See you soon." Alex said, then she kissed Piper on the cheek and walked out the door. **

**Piper watched her go. She didn't want her to go. Alex just smiles a sexy arrogant smile and left. Piper sat and thought long and hard about how much she loved Alex Vause. It was a scary kind of love at times and that made her want to just shut down. What would she do for her? Already she fetches money from the Western Union for her. Is that illegal? She didn't know but it worried her. She loved the adventure, the way Alex was after a big sale...so confident and sensual. That Alex was her drug.**

**Piper waited for three hours before she called. Roger arrived four hours in to Piper's wait. He came to sit with her and tried to keep her calm. Piper decided she would go and find Alex, that she knew the hotels Alex used for her mules. She would just go and snoop around. **

**"Hell no, you wont. Piper, you need some distance and I'm really happy Alex had enough sense to leave you here with me. No. She will contact you as soon as she can. Until then you will sit with me and we will play cards, or I'll read to you or you can just snuggle me on this comfy bed." Roger said as he sat down and opened his arms. **

**Five more times he had to stop Piper from going to look for Alex. He finally hid her purse and sat in front of the door. It was 8:42 AM when Alex arrived at their door. She opened it in to Roger's back and he shot up, pulled the door open and pulled Alex in to a big hug. **

**Piper leaned back on the couch and exhaled. One moment she was thinking how to climb out the bathroom window and the next she was thanking a god she didn't believe in for bringing her home. **

**"Hey, I missed you too Roger, really though I saw you last month in St. Tropez." Alex said from the midst of her bear hug. "My phone died looking for a signal. Sorry Kid, I should have tried to call but see I was...well it was a mess." Alex began. It was then that Piper saw her shirt. There was blood and Piper shot out of her seat on the couch. **

**"Fuck! Alex..what happened are you okay? There's blood.." she started to sob. Alex looked down and then back up, she started to peel off her shirt. **

**"It so isn't mine. The girl slit her wrist, I helped get her to the hospital, or what passed for one nearby. They weren't at the hotel, I had to go ten miles out of town to her boyfriend's bungalow. I had to talk to the cops, so we are leaving this town tonight. I convinced them I was a friend of hers from the states and that I would call her parents. I didn't have my passport so I used a fake ID. She was drugged too but they didn't notice because of the blood. I think they were more worried about the guy cleaning up the mess than any drugs they may have had. She didn't have my stuff but her boyfriend was doing everything. It was a fucking mess." Alex bent and kissed Piper soundly. **

**"We will still scuba dive tomorrow Pipes. Then we can head to Chicago, I have a meeting. I'm starving, could you order breakfast?" Alex asked as she went to shower. Piper just stared at the door to the bathroom. **

**"Um, I'll have then send up a breakfast, you need to eat and she needs coffee. I'll let the two of you talk. We don't dive until two PM so try to rest, please." Roger kissed her cheek. All Piper could think was what if the police had arrested Alex. What if that girl had cut her in that place far from town that Piper didn't know. **

**She went in to the bathroom and slipped off her clothes. She slid in to the shower and saw Alex leaning with her head against the wall. **

**"I'm sorry I scared you, Piper. You were all I thought about. I just kept saying to myself, "I have to get back to Piper. I promised her we'd go scuba diving tomorrow." Alex spoke as she turned around and took her in her arms. **

**Piper couldn't say the words she felt. She wanted to rant and rail but she wasn't sure she could stand the thought of a fight. Instead, she made love to her under the water. She reminded her that she was alive and free. Piper kissed each part of her body and when she entered Alex with her fingers, she looked her in the eyes. She tried to show her how much she loved her with her gaze, she brought Alex to a screaming orgasm, not once, not twice but three times that morning. She exhausted her lover and they slept until one, ate the cold breakfast and then went out to scuba dive. **

Piper was out of the cage without incident and out the door for lunch. Alex arrived in the chow hall and Piper calmed. She sat and complained about a moron she worked with that put too much soap powder in two loads and they had to redo them, plus get the inmate more. Piper listened and didn't tell Alex she was in the cage. When asked about work so far that day, Piper shrugged. She walked Alex back towards work, they caught a break and no one was at the stairs. She kissed Alex with deep and abiding hunger.

"Something to think about while you fold, Vause." Piper said as she turned to head back to the electrical shack. Piper swatted her ass.

"Like I think of anything else all day, every day.." Alex said in her sexy voice. Piper bit her lip as she walked back to work. After work she called her mom and Larry. He asked how she was doing and she said she was fine. She didn't have long to talk but she wanted to touch base with him and let him know that Alex had his name in her paperwork. She told him about Roger and Larry was upset that she was talking to someone from those days. Piper insured him that Roger was never indicted because he was never part of that scene.

"Not everyone we hung out with worked for or with Alex Larry. We had friends, a life, mainly in New York before we traveled but we had one." Piper said rubbing her temples.

"Sorry, how would I know that? You told me about where you'd been but left out you were with your great lesbian love."Larry bit out. Piper went quiet.

"You're right, I'm sorry. I've been thinking about that time a lot and I am actually happy to talk to Roger some. I'll give him your number if you want to meet him. She said she'd call you if she could as well, to let you know she was there. So..I gotta go. I love you." Piper said and she hung up.

She walked back to the cube and saw Alex was sitting on the blanket again. She smiled. She didn't have the ingredients for another casserole. They stood for count and waited. Fischer and Gonzalez had their dorm that night. Piper was pleased. She relaxed some after five when she didn't think the Prison transfer bus would pick up new riders. They would drive them to a holding cell in New York, then they would go to the airport and fly to Louisville, KY. After a stay there, she would go to Chicago. Alex could call in Louisville. Piper tried not to obsess over it or ask more questions about what it would be like. She knew Alex had talked to a few people and seemed more steady. Piper could tell though that she was getting scared. FLaca surprised her by bringing them a plate of food from the microwave. It was some concoction that tasted wonderful and smelled better than anything they'd eaten in a long while.

"It is so you don't have to eat in the cafeteria...and thanks Piper for making that hook for my cube."she said and then she walked off. Piper and Alex both thanked her retreating back. Piper used the pliers to make little jay hooks out of scrap metal. they were useful on the side of the lockers to hang things. There were always ways to make organized room. She made one for anyone that asked and it had earned her some treats.

Alex grinned. " Daya told me she might do that, thus our blanket. Mmm I'll go get us a cup of water." Alex said. Piper nodded and sat down to prepare them a plate. Alex came back with the water and they ate quietly. Piper told her about her about her conversation with Larry. Alex listened quietly.

"I'm sorry I know you don't want to know.." Piper began.

"No..no it's okay. I can't believe I"m going to say this, but I'm glad you have him. Piper you gotta promise me to take care of yourself. I can do this if you are brave." Alex said and her voice broke. Piper reached out and cupped her cheek softly.

"I will eat something each day. I will run only with someone to watch me and I will try to laugh once a day...but you gotta tell Nicky to get better jokes.' Piper replied. Alex laughed and asked that she stick close to Red and Nicky. Piper agreed to calm her some. Alex ate and drank her dinner. Piper used her sleeve to wipe her mouth. Alex smirked at the motherly motion and pinched Piper in the side. She squealed and it earned them a fake stern look from Fischer.

When people came back in to the dorm, many came by to speak to Alex for a few minutes. It seemed to Piper that most people thought she'd leave out tomorrow. It was driving her insane. They didn't take long, some gave her advice and tips on how to make the trip go better. Those were what Alex needed but they made Piper worry. After everyone left, Piper made some adjustments to her pack out bag she kept in her locker. They snuggled for a little while, about a half hour before Gonzalez cleared her throat and Piper went back to her own bunk for lights out. Once the lights were out, Piper turned on her lamp and so did Alex. They looked at one another for the longest time. Piper got lost in her eyes. She could see how scared she was but how much she wasn't going to show it. It was the same kind of look she had that night in Jakarta so long ago. Where she had to do something but didn't want to leave.

"Alex, am I really the reason you started to do heroin?" Piper asked softly. Alex blinked. The question seemed to come out of no where.

"I...was a broken fucked up girl. I couldn't get over you and I didn't want to do my job anymore. My job had cost me you and though I was good at it, the highs of it weren't enough, so I sought another high. I partied..a lot. I got cleaned up right before we got caught but I'm paid for my lapse. No, you aren't the cause, I have a problem." Alex didn't speak the AA mantra much but she did go to the meetings regularly. She had admitted to Piper she joined them so she could see her do yoga and the happiest time of her day back then was when she could watch Piper and Piper not know she was there.

"I'm sorry for all the pain my loving you has caused." Piper echoed Alex's words back to her.

"Loving you for one minute, makes up for it all, don't you know that kid?"Alex asked her. Piper just shook her head and turned out the light. That night, Alex snuck in to her bunk. She held her close and slowly played with her clit until Piper came with a muffled moan. She returned the favor, all the while sucking on Alex's breast beside her nipple. She felt a need to leave a mark on her, one Alex would feel and could see when she was stripped down and put back in the orange suit. When Alex came quietly, Piper clung to her. They drifted to sleep in each other's arms.

Alex woke up first and slipped out of bed without waking Piper. They both sat up at five and rubbed their eyes. Alex microwaved them some instant coffee from Piper's stash. She wasn't going to breakfast and Piper wanted to make sure Alex ate something. She gave her two nutra grain bars and made her eat them. It was about time to head to work and Piper was procrastinating leaving. She had a sense of dread like no other and was terrified that Luschek would put her back in the cage. She wanted to be outside so she could keep an eye on the front parking lot. She walked with Alex down the hall and kept on walking a few more steps when she saw the Lt. COs with the orange suit and shackles.

Fischer was behind them and she held Alex's bag. "This is your pack out right inmate?" she asked in a brush tone. Alex nodded and Piper turned, walking to her. They hugged immediately and it seemed out of no where, Gonzalez gently took Piper by the arm and pulled them whispered she loved her and told her to cal before they were partedl. Alex said, "See you soon." Neither said goodbye.

Officer Bell saw the COs and came over. Fischer stepped up. "I will be getting her ready LuAnn. I was told I needed to train in it." Fischer marched Alex towards the room where the strip searches were done. Piper just stood there with her arm in the gentle grip of Gonzalez. She walked Piper towards the stairs and away from the door where she last saw Alex. Piper was a bit dazed and looked at the officer.

"She will walk her out the front. If you stand here you can see her get on the bus. There are three other inmates, all male on the bus. She'll be okay, they can't move from where they are chained. Your girl's tough." Gonzalez said. Piper swallowed and looked out the window.

"Thank you." she said. Others would have enjoyed this...others like Mendez. It took about fifteen Minutes. Gonzalez got on the radio and told Luschek that Piper was with her. He replied he needed her at work. Gonzalez replied, she be along directly. Gonzalez didn't seem to be in any hurry. Piper saw Alex come out and shuffle towards the bus. She looked so awkward and inhibited. It was like a bad b movie...why would anyone think Alex would be a risk? She turned and looked back at the window and Piper waved down. She nodded her head and after a few tries was able to get up the bus step. The COs restrained her in a seat and Fischer handed her paperwork and bag to the driver. Piper watched the bus pull out until it was out of sight.

She turned to Gonzalez and said, " Thank you officer. I had better head to work."

"I'm going to walk you down. Come on Chapman." Piper didn't protest but she walked at the same pace as the guard, back down the steps and out into the bright April sun.

**Thanks for the Reviews. I have finished the outline in my head and I don't think the story can be made to last the ENTIRE year we wait. I do promise more chapters for now if I get so great feedback reviews. Thanks to those that write to me. I read each and every one! peace Faecym


	30. Chapter 30 Smart Men and Good Sex

Piper made it to lunch on Tuesday with Nicky by her side. After she ate half of her sandwich and drank some water, she went to the phone. It was all she could do to hold the food in her stomach. She was on auto. She kept thinking to herself, 'I promised her and Larry I'd take care of myself'. She called Larry.

He picked up, "She's gone isn't she? Are you okay?" Piper was quiet for a whole minute. He let her be quiet.

"No I'm not okay, I don't know if I can do this without her." Piper was quiet when she spoke those words. She knew they'd hurt him but what could she say?

"I know you can. Remember, before you knew she was there we talked about this, we said anyone can do anything for a year. You are almost there." He tried to sound uplifting.

"Larry, I got through each day because I knew I could see her. What the fuck am I supposed to do now?"Piper said in a shrill voice. She felt panic rising in her throat. She told him she'd talk to him later and hung up. She then walked briskly to the bathroom and puked up her lunch. It was too soon to eat. She went back to work and Nicky looked really concerned.

"Hey Chapman, you okay?" she asked as she sat down beside her to work on a lamp. Piper shrugged and plugged her lamp in. It worked now so she took it to Luschek. He gave her another one. He looked up at her as he did and held on to it as she tried to pull it away.

"She'll be back, Chapman." He said in a low tone. Then he let go of the lamp and let her go back to her seat. Piper frowned at his comment. Didn't anyone understand her fear was that Alex would be back but after she had left? Piper knew that for basically two years after she got out that she couldn't have any real contact with an inmate or convict. They could talk on the phone some maybe or write..she was almost sure. Whatever it would be it would suck.

That night Piper couldn't sleep at all. She wondered where Alex was...was she on the flight yet? Was she still in that holding cell in New York with whatever arrested persons were tossed in there with her? Piper kept seeing Alex hurt and no one caring or listening to her. Her imagination was worse than the truth, she was sure. The days passed in a blur. She would eat, then try to hold it down. She managed to do it three times but usually she just threw up. She tried Yoga with Yoga Jones. It helped to center herself. Everyone was being great but prison is transitory and soon she felt gazes on her that seemed to ask how long she'd be sick over Alex Vause. Yoga Jones, Nicky and Morello were very sweet about it. Piper found herself sitting in Red's cube before dinner. Red was working so it was quiet and not many people bothered her. Piper hid there until she had to go to dinner. She ate what she could and took her tray up.

She waited in line and called Larry. She planned on calling Roger next. "Hey hun.." she began.

"She called me. She is in Lousiville and doing great. Listen, I had held the phone up to the laptop and she recorded this. Sorry the sound quality sucks but listen.." Piper was rock still and held the phone to her ear with white knuckles. The sound was low but she could make out the words and Alex's voice sounded amazing.

"Hi kid, I'm okay. The flight sucks ass, I'm not going to lie about it. I got real thirsty and I saw a guy tazed for asking to go piss. But I'm here and sleeping in a cell for the first time. I should leave out of here on Tuesday for Chicago. Rache is here as well to testify so I'm sticking with her. I know someone. Please eat and you know how I feel. Bye, I'll call Roger next.' " Piper started to cry. She was okay, she had a friend with her.

"Who is Rache?" Larry asked when he got back on the phone. He let her cry for a few moments before he asked.

"Um, someone like Alex in the organization, she ran the South American stuff, I think. Alex wasn't her biggest fan as they competed against one another so I only met her a couple of times. She came on to me and it pissed Alex off. It's funny how now I'm glad she is with her." Piper said with a forced laugh.

"No it isn't funny at all babe, it's sweet. You don't want her to be alone. You got to stay there with the friends you made. What is driving you crazy is that she is alone. Well now she isn't so it will be okay. Feeling better? did you eat?" Larry was worried. It was in the tone of each word he said. Alex was too because she took time to say something when she knew Larry was listening. She didn't say she loved her and Piper knew that was because she was talking to Larry. Piper assured him she was eating and told him what she just ate. She said she had to go and told him she loved him. She thanked him three times for the recording. He was so smart.

She called Roger and he said he got to talk to her briefly. He said she sounded really tired and that she didn't like where she was at all. He said she slept in a cell for the first time and it freaked her out. Roger gave it to her straight. He told her that she made sure he let Piper know that she loves her very much and they could both do this.

"I guess I always knew the two of you would find some way to see each other again. When she called me and told me they put you in Litchfield with her, I about fell out. I figured you would either kill her or fall back in love. I never took you for the polyamorous type though." Roger said to her after he finished relaying what Alex said.

"Poly what?" Piper asked not sure she heard him right.

"Polyamory. It is when you are in a relationship with more than one person and they all consent." He explained.

Piper was quiet for a moment then said , "Oh, is that what it is called...I thought it was just my fucked up love life." Roger laughed. She actually smiled as well. He told her to research it some and then he had to go to a meeting. She thanked him and got off the phone. She picked up her mail from mail call and read letters from friends until bed. As she tried to fall to sleep, all she could think of was Alex behind bars with Rache. She said she was sticking close to her and that didn't mean they shared a cell. Piper wasn't worried that Alex would be intimate with Rache. Rache just wasn't her type. She was too butch and too Dominant for Alex.

**She had met Rache a few nights before the party that Alex threw at their New York apartment. The same party she got the promotion in her drug ring that would lead to them leaving. Rache was at a club and Alex introduced her as a major player in the organization. Rache was a tall woman with spikey red hair. She was built well and Piper admired her body under her lashes. She had male features and her date hung on her like an eye candy Popsicle. However, Rache flirted with her most of the night. She would dance close to Piper, offer to buy her drinks and if Alex was busy talking to anyone else, Rache was all up on Piper. It had been thrilling but she could sense that Rache really just wanted to rattle Alex. It wasn't Piper's game though and she was polite to Rache but never let on she wanted more than a casual acquaintance. Rache followed her to the bar and made a motion to the tender to give Piper whatever she wanted. **

**"That is okay, I drink on Alex's tab. My usual Dawn, on my girl's tab please." Piper said with a chilled tone as she was handed a top shelf bourbon, neat. **

**"Hey, it's okay. I am just trying to be friendly. Alex and I will be doing more and more business together. I'm trying to get in on her good side you see." she lied and leaned in close to Piper. Piper smelled her perfume and found it pleasant. She looked around but didn't see Alex. She hadn't seen her most of the night and it was getting old. She decided right there to head back to the apartment after this drink. **

**"Yeah well coming on to her girlfriend isn't the best way." Piper said, not bothering to hide her snark. Rache laughed as if what Piper said was a cute, flirty comment. Piper frowned more. **

**"What is the best way then? Oh and you are officially her girlfriend? The way Vause gets mules to fuck and fall for her I thought that wouldn't be good for a relationship." Rache shot back with a smile. Piper clenched her jaw and started to drain her bourbon. She knew that each night, Alex came home with her. This night though, it was a bit too much for her. She started to walk away from the bar after gulping down her drink. Rache took her by the wrist and pulled her on to the dance floor instead. **

**"Okay, enough. I really should be going I have work tomorrow." Piper began. She didn't dance but stood by Rache as she moved her body up against Piper. **

**"You work? I thought she took care of you." Rache said in honest disbelief. Piper snorted. **

**"I don't need a man or a woman to take care of me. I can do it myself." she said. At that moment, Alex put her arm around her waist. Piper leaned back and turned her head to kiss Alex's jawline. **

**"You sure can, kid." Alex responded. Rache laughed and told Alex she had an enchanting girlfriend. Alex just nodded her way. **

**"I want to go home. I can head back to my place, we're closer here anyway. I'll see you tomorrow." Piper said. She had roommates at her apartment. She'd been practically living at Alex's place.**

**"No I am ready to go as well. Come on, I'll get us a cab. See you later Rache." Alex said as she walked them to the bar and cleared the tab. She walked them out and in to a cab. Once there she gave her address and Piper just looked at her. She was sure something was wrong with Alex but she didn't speak much about it in the cab. **

**"What's wrong?" she asked on the elevator up to Alex's place. **

**"I fucking hate that woman and I hate how much she ...came on to you. I beat her the past two months in sales. She has a much bigger operation but I out moved her. So what does she do? She tries to get my girl to fuck her." Alex was fuming as she opened the door to her apartment. Piper saw how her body moved with contained anger. It was terribly sexy. **

**"Well she is hot. I mean damn, did you see her arms?" Piper made a whistling noise. Alex froze at the bar. Piper started to strip off her clothes. " She is tall too, maybe a bit taller than you. I can see why girls fall for her." Piper had turned her back to Alex as she said it, slowly removing her top and dropping it on the floor. Alex hated it when she tossed her clothing on the furniture. **

**Alex came up behind her and took Piper by her hair at the base of her neck. She bent her head back and pulled her body to hers. **

**"Shut the fuck up. . ." she ground out. Piper moved her ass against Alex's crotch in slow little circles. **

**"Or what? You're going to manhandle me? Because baby, I love it when you do that." Piper said in a low voice that left Alex with little doubt how much she loved the way Alex handled her. Alex pushed her over the side of the couch and yanked down her skirt. Her fingers found Piper soaked. **

**"This for me?" Alex asked with an edge to her voice. Piper pulled against her grip and turned to look at Alex. Alex then used two fingers to find the spot that made Piper melt and brought her to a quick screaming orgasm. **

**"Always." Piper said in a breathy tone. That was the night Alex gave her seven orgasms. She tied Piper to her bed and used her hands for the first four, then for the first time she strapped on and took Piper three more times. Piper missed work the next day and that was the day she moved in officially with Alex. She didn't see Rache again until they were in Europe and they met for lunch. Alex had held her hand the entire luncheon and refused to talk about work. Piper felt cherished. It was one of the last times she felt Alex put her first. **

Piper thought about that night and in the quiet of her cube, she touched herself. She came quickly and then cried until she fell to sleep. Sleep sucked. She dreamed all the time and didn't feel rested. Nicky and Boo made sure she went outside to walk or run daily. Jenkins was increasing her pace and Piper enjoyed the mindlessness that came with the endorphins of running. It was on Thursday that she called Roger and he said Alex was at Chicago. She said she'd write her as soon as she could. She told Roger to tell her she was alright. Piper couldn't help but wish she'd call Larry again so he would record her. But she didn't feel like Alex wanted to seem weak to Larry. It was stupid and full of pride but Piper understood.

"Roger tell her I'm eating and running. Tell her that everyone says hi and that I'm eagerly awaiting a letter." Piper asked of him. He said she could call again on the weekend. It seems there are many prisoners there and limited phone time. He said she had to talk to her lawyer first and what time was left, she'd try and call him. Piper swallowed her tears and felt helpless again. She wanted Alex to be able to talk to friends to feel better. Less scared. She wanted that for her but as usual, it was up to the Department of Corrections.

Piper left the phone feeling exhausted. She took a nap afterwards and slept till standing count. She didn't feel like reading letters so she started one to Alex. It was good to talk to her, even on paper. She knew she'd not send this one because she couldn't stand the thought of guards reading her words to Alex. Yet she wrote. It started with the phrase, "I was remembering when I moved in with you and all I could think of at the time was how I could get used to this." Piper looked over to her empty bunk and kept on writing.

*** Excerpt from Larry Smith (aka Larry Bloom's) real article in the NY Times about his relationship with Piper Kerman: "We considered every question and configuration about what goes on between a committed couple when one of them is going to prison for more than a year. Would there be conjugal visits? No. Was I allowed to see other women? No. Was she allowed to see other women? I told her to do whatever she needed." That is polyamory. It is called a Mono/poly relationship where one allows another to have intimate relationships but doesn't seek that themselves. Piper Kerman didn't take him up on the offer because she is his soul mate. I know my Piper is different but let's give credit where it is due. What. A. Man. I know it confuses some readers that she loves two people. Imagine how she feels. Well nothing more Angsty than a triangle. Have some faith. Thanks for reading and please review! Peace, Faecym ***


	31. Chapter 31 Prison Punching Bags

Piper called Roger that weekend. He told her that Alex was settling in and she had a big woman for a cell mate. He told her of Alex's description and Piper teared up.

"How you hanging in there?" he asked after Piper stopped laughing to sniffle. Piper shrugged and swallowed then recalled he couldn't see her.

"I'm on autopilot. I write to her at night and that helps, " Piper rolled her eyes. "Ugh I sound so pathetic. I gotta snap out of this Roger, I'm going to get eaten alive in here if I don't," she confessed.

"You do what you need to do. That is what Alex would say and she will do what she needs to do. Remember Piper, Alex is tough. She has handled some crazy shit. She has a whole litany of questions about you each time. I promised I'd ask you specifically. You ready?"he drawled in a sweet voice.

"Yeah, go ahead." she replied with a smile.

"First, are you eating and furthermore are you keeping your food down? Which, girl if this means prison has given you bulimia I may have to kick your scrawny ass. Second, I am to remind you that there is no marathon team in Prison and please don't hurt yourself on the track. I took this to mean the health care in there sucks. Third, and this pissed me the fuck off...have you been harassed by the certain person? I asked, she gave a brief description of the situation, calling him something that made me laugh. Anyway, I was told to remind you that you promised truth. Fourth, she wanted to know if Nicky has been funny?" He finished with a proud note that he remembered. Piper imagined Alex making him repeat it to her.

"Thank you, Roger. You've no idea how this helps me. It fucking sucks. I know I have no room to complain. There are women in here that have sentences...like Alex I guess. Hey, could you maybe find out something...else for me?" Piper asked him suddenly aware of an opportunity.

"Answer the questions first and I'll consider it." he replied. Roger worked in publishing and Piper could tell that he why he was successful.

She began, going in order, " I am attempting to eat at each meal.I am doing better at it and Red is slipping me some things. I keep it down now. Uh..I am running more, but Jenkins is pacing me so I am not pushing it. It is the only time my head clears. I have avoided the one she asked about. Nicky is hilarious and made me laugh yesterday when she got her head slapped by Red for being a jerk." Piper had really just smiled but it was something funny.

"Thank you. I don't know when she will call. I have never been much to clutch my phone to me but my assistant took it with him to get three contacts added to the log and I had a fit. This one way communication suck. I tip my hat to your man." Roger said with true admiration in his voice. Piper blinked. She always tries to remember how hard it is for Larry but sometimes she just gets so wrapped up in surviving prison and the whirlwind to her body and psyche that is Alex Vause.

"Yeah I'm rather lucky there. I did some research as you suggested. I guess we are polyamorous. I haven't told Larry though or pointed it out to him because...well I'm afraid he'll write an article." Piper admitted. Roger laughed.

"I think I'd like him. I did enjoy his column by the way. I...can't say I agreed with how he saw you with Alex. " Roger stated. He was always so straight forward. Piper had other gay friends and each one seemed to be able to cut to the chase. Yet Roger was always there to help. Piper had never contacted him when she left Alex. He had known Alex the longest. They met when she was in her early twenties. He was Alex's Polly. Piper was so thankful he was still here.

"He is a talented writer and I totally believe in him. I just didn't tell him much about Alex...you know the whole illegal business aspect." Piper said with genuine affection and honesty.

"I believe that. I can see you with him because he sees all the best parts of you and forgives the worst. I always knew you were too together for Alex to keep. I figured she'd ask you to do too much and you'd finally wake up. She had a lot more demons to burn through and a need of Power that you just didn't have. If it helps though, I think she needed you just as much. I didn't speak with her for a few years there. She contacted me again when she was arrested and indicted. I was with her for the trial. Now, I think I know what it is you are going to ask me." Roger said to Piper with an even tone.

"No, I will ask Alex. She doesn't ever answer the question when asked." Piper said to him trying to explain.

"Have you asked her directly?" Roger offered back. Piper winced. She had never asked Alex. Piper thought about that and realized she didn't want to hear it, do the math and realize how long she'd have to wait for Alex to be released. Also, she was afraid she'd try and figure out how much giving her cut Alex's sentence. Piper had studied drug laws. She knew what the max was for what Alex did. 15 to 20. It was her first offense, she pleaded guilty and turned on the ones up in the organization. Alex was smart too, she most likely had evidence or knew things she could trade. She also wouldn't do too much because she didn't want to get dead. It had taken a long time to get the big guy on top. Alex had time to work with her attorneys and was incarcerated in jail for a good portion of that time. She was in Vermont or something. She had no doubt also that Alex hid money. Piper knew she had accounts in foreign countries and doubted the government had accessed them all. She had good legal advice. Yet, all she'd thought about this, she was too scared to ask Alex.

Because she didn't want to know how long she'd have to wait. She didn't want to feel that pity for Alex. Alex said once at Taystee's going away party, before she was pulled away from her and tossed in the SHU...'I hate seeing people leave it just reminds me of how much time I have left." Yet Piper didn't ask them..." how much time do you have?" Instead, she flirted...then danced. Maybe she hadn't grown up as much as she thought she had. She was still choosing to only know parts of Alex's life.

"No." Piper responded finally to his question. He sighed and Piper echoed it.

"Thank you again Roger. Just you know..tell her I sounded much better and I love her. Don't um, mention the letters," she added. He agreed and Piper got off the phone with him. Her mom visited afterwards. Piper listened and didn't argue with her once. She guessed that was what tipped her off.

"You seem, more down than usual today, dear. Did something happen?" her mother asked. After Piper's illness, her mom seemed to ask more about her. It was touching and Piper had to admit she saw her mom more since she'd been at Litchfield than she did on the outside. She felt guilty that her mom had to travel to see her.

"I..a friend...Alex, was sent to testify. I'm worried about her." Piper said. She wanted to have the kind of relationship with her mother where she could tell the truth.

"I'm sure her type knows how to testify Piper. I always said if you went to trial you wouldn't be here right now..." she carried on and Piper took a deep breath.

"Her type? Mom, really..I am her type. Did you know she was in my indictment? Did you know she threatened to recant her testimony if I was sent to testify with her? No Mom, you don't know shi..." Piper's temper flared and she looked in to her mother's eyes. They were white cold furious. It was the same look she had the night her dad left and Piper had told her that it was her fault. A rare confrontation that Piper never wanted to relive.

"Is she the one that turned you in to the authorities?" she asked in ice cold precision. Piper hated Larry's stern voice. Her mother's voice made her want to flee. She closed her eyes.

"No. There were 13 or so of us on that indictment. I traveled with all of them. But yes she is..." Piper looked up. She had never discussed her sex life with her mother. Ever. Piper had dated men and women through out her twenties and her mother had met one. Larry. Piper just didn't like her family life and personal life to mesh. It was silly really but it is how they had always worked. Just like everything else, Prison seemed to be breaking that down as well.

Her mother leaned back. " Are you a lesbian now Piper? What about Larry?" she said in a low tone.

"Larry knows. Look mom, she and I are...Jesus, I don't know. All I can tell you is that I love her and need her. I love them both. Yes, I know I am going to fuck up my life with Larry. Yes I know he is a good man from a good family. Yes I know he can give you the grandkids you crave. I know all of that and I...still...love...her." Piper was quaking as she said it. She looked up at her mom and waited for her to blow.

"She is gone now and you are worried. You are eating right?" her mom said with a different tone in her voice. Since she was literally the third person to ask her that today, Piper sighed a bit. Yet still...her mom asked her something that showed she cared. Piper did something she rarely did in a visit. She felt tears fall. Her mom reached up and wiped her tears. "Now now, that eyeliner looks cheap, you don't want to look like a raccoon." Piper smiled and agreed.

"I'm eating. I'm running more so that is why I'm a bit more toned. I'm fine physically. I'm very worried about her because she is away from me in a system that I just can't fathom...in a system where I am also at it's mercy." Piper told her. Piper rarely complained about prison to her mom because she felt she earned her sentence and had it easier than most. Empathy for others isn't her mother's strong suit.

"I'm sure she will be fine. Do you need anything? I gave Larry more money for your commissary. " her mother said, changing the subject. Piper blinked.

"You didn't have to do that mom, I have plenty for what I need." she explained.

"Nevertheless, I gave it to him and he assured me he put it on there." the guard called for time up. She stood and hugged her mom. She had bought Piper pretzels earlier and she cleaned up the mess as her mom walked out. She started to strip for her search. It was Officer Bell. She always hated it when she did the search. She made Piper stand for a long while naked. There was a line at the door. Bell used the phone to ask for more forms to be brought over. Piper just shivered there naked. It in furiated her but she couldn't do a damn thing. Bell made a point of slowly doing her pat down and made Piper cough three times. She knew it was because Fischer and Gonzalez had worked it so Alex didn't have to be stripped and shackled by her. Piper wondered again why such sadists are hired.

Finally, after a time, Piper was allowed to go. She knew she'd missed seeing her mom at the window. She had free time and for the first time she didn't go run or to Red's cube to hide. She went to the rec room and sat down to observe scrabble between Nicky and Morello. Morello had creative spelling. Most of the time, Nicky let it slide. Piper was struck again by how sweet Nicky was with her. She knew Morello's time was getting short and she wondered if they'd hook up again before she left.

"I gotta go call my mom. My cousin Lyra is having a baby and she wanted to discuss the present. I told her that diaper baskets are all the rage but she wont listen. Chapman you want to take my board. I'm only losing by 15 or so." She offered. Piper said sure and Morello lit up. She vowed then and there to try and engage more with her friends.

AFter she walked off, "don't expect the same rules as she got. "Nicky said. Piper smirked and they continued to play. It had helped her not to worry about Alex and she laughed three times. Nicky was charming and Piper appreciated it.

"So are you going to try your magic on Morello again before she leaves?" Piper asked.

"No look, not all lesbians are on the mighty merry-go-round. I enjoyed fucking her, she left me for a pretend fiance'. She is...sweet. But she is leaving, why set up the heart ache?" she said. Piper swallowed when she said that. Why indeed?

"Because you want what time you have with her...as friends or more. Look, all I'm saying is you should at least tell her you care and see if..."Piper shrugged. Nicky just looked at her and frowned.

"Ya know I was going to say you are a bit fucked up to give advice but at the current time you are managing two relationships, one of them is forced long distance. You're holding up, Chapman." Nicky said with a bit of admiration in her voice.

"You know I've been studying this a bit. Apparently there is a whole aspect of relationships, called Poly or polyamory. It is hard though and I think my situation, where I can control when i talk to Larry doesn't make it very fair. I've been trying to.." Nicky's eyes seemed to glaze and Piper laughed. " Sorry, I tend to babble when I want to share things I learned."

"You are perfect for Alex. I gotta go check on Red, her back is acting up again." Nicky said standing. Piper said she'd see if she could get anymore Peppers but Nicky had to help her this time. Nicky snorted and left. Piper knew she'd help.

That night in her bunk she wrote to Alex. It was one she knew she'd not send but it helped to say these things. She dated each letter at the top right corner.

_Dear Alex, _

_Today I spoke to Roger and Larry...I saw my mom. I told her about you. _

_Did you hear me Alex? I told her about you. I told my mom that I loved you. That I knew it was going to fuck up the life I made for myself and yet..I love you. I thought she'd try to convince me it was a prison thing. I thought maybe she'd go off on me questioning my sanity. She didn't. She was worried about me. I..did lie to her. I told her that you didn't turn me in that I had no idea which one did it. I understand why you did it and have accepted that...but I can't ask the ones I love to do the same. See, they don't love you. They don't know you because I never let them. You shared all of your life with me. I selfishly kept you to myself. _

_I'm very selfish and I still don't understand why you love me. _

Piper put the pad down and shut off her light. She turned to stare at the empty bed and whispered " I heart you." in to the noisy void of the prison.

The next day, a girl named Stacy was moved in to her cube. She was a smart girl, a self surrender that Piper had given a tooth brush to when she arrived. It was her first time down and Piper wondered if she looked that scared when she arrived. Piper was glad to focus on something else for a change. Stacy was put on cleaning crew and had Healy for a counselor. Piper didn't say much to her but she could tell he warned her about Piper. She was just kind to her and it proved him wrong. The girl had 20 months for a drug related charge. She was educated but timid and from somewhere in the South.

She was sick and worried most of Tuesday. It passed achingly slow. Finally whens he called Roger Wednesday evening she had news.

"She is in Chicago. The flight was bad that is all she said. She said it isn't good there, she is in a six woman cell. She said many don't seem right there and are awaiting trial. She also said she sent you a letter this morning as soon as she could." Roger told her in an even tone.

"Did she sound okay? Did anyone her?" Piper asked in a rushed voice. She knew if Roger was specific with her, that Alex told him everything.

"She had it rough on the tarmac she said. Apparently she got on a guard's bad side and the whole flight she had on some extra type of cuffs. She admitted..she blacked out for part of it but said it was better. The flight was shorter. The cell was bad because they..." he seemed to grind to a stop. " You know I actually am starting to look in to prisoner rights organizations. I mean fuck. Why can't we do better than this? I know..I'm such a fuckin' yuppie, I didn't give a rat's ass about criminals until I loved one." He bit out. Piper let him rant. She felt light headed but understood his frustration.

"What happened in the holding cell?" she prompted.

He sighed, " They left the damn cuffs on, she had her thumbs back for hours and had a hard time making her hands work when freed. She is bruised by it but was told it would fade by her court date. Where...she has to wear the shackles again and now she is scared." He rambled off. Piper was rigid with rage.

"I understand your fury, but she is okay now. I have to go now though Roger, there is a line. Thank you so much. I will talk to you this weekend. Um, I will write her back when I get the letter. Bye now." Piper hung up on him before he replied. She turned and started to walk. Her feet carried her to the Chapel. She entered from the front and heard scuffling behind the pulpit. She stopped and felt her stomach clench.

"Sorry..just..I'll go." she turned to exit and leave the would be lovers alone.

"Hey Chapman, hold up, we're um..done." It was Nicky. Piper turned at the door and saw...not too surprised, Morello shoot out and back down the corridor, adjusting her shirt. Nicky looked up at her and gave a swaggerish shrug. Piper had to smile.

"I heard, Alex is in Chicago. She...had a rough flight." Piper's voice broke as she spoke. Nicky watched her and then nodded. She hopped off the stage and walked up to Piper.

"Come on and follow me," she said as she walked out of the Chapel. Piper was mad and almost told her to leave her alone. Yet she wasn't sure she wouldn't do something stupid. She promised Alex she wouldn't. So she followed Nicky to the kitchen. It was out of bounds and there were a few cleaning up. NIcky walked in like she owned the place and opened a door to the dry good pantry. She pulled Piper inside.

"Um Nicky, I am a one woman woman if you know.." Piper began half joking.

"Shit, you aren't my type Chapman." Nicky shot back.

"No, Alex is." Piper said with more venom than she intended. Nicky just looked at her.

"Yeah, if you weren't here I'd be hitting that. I'm not going to lie to you. We click. Yet, I recognize and am smart enough not to stand in the way of whatever it is you two have. Now, no...why you are here is simple. See those?" Nicky pointed to a stack of full bags.

"Um flour?" Piper said. Nicky nodded then she balled up her fist and hit one as hard as she could. It gave a poomf kind of sound and there was an imprint on the bag. Nicky's hand wasn't hurt.

"Prison punching bag. Red used to send me in here when I wanted to go off on guards in the first few weeks I was clean. I beat the shit outta three and they burst," she said with a grin. Piper turned and started to pummel the bag. She hit it until it started to crack then moved to another one. She exhausted herself and then started to cry. Nicky just let her cry. She cried for a bit then wiped her eyes. She felt good, better.

"Thanks Nicky." she said and Nicky gave her a shrug. She opened the door and walked back with Piper not saying another word.

**I hoped you enjoyed. Please review and enjoy your Sunday. Peace, Faecym**


	32. Chapter 32 The Art of Writing Letters

Time passed achingly slow for Piper. She finally got a letter on Friday. She stood and noticed other women got mail from husbands in other facilities. That made her sad but strangely helped her to feel less alone. She took her mail back to her cube. She had a visit with Polly. She put Alex's letter on the top of her pile and looked at it. She didn't want to make Polly wait so she walked towards the doorway to the dorm.

She got as far as the door before she turned and ran back. She took the letter out of the letter and read it.

_Dear Piper, _

_I'm okay. It is odd here. There is no chow hall, the food comes to you on carts and it is hard to get it. The cells are dirty and I miss you. Even when I did my time in Vermont waiting, we had a women's dorm, not a cell. I can't get used to being locked in that tight at night. I miss knowing you are asleep in the bunk next to me. _

_Everyone seems to be waiting here..like either to testify or find out what they will be doing. I have a small group of women I hang with that seem to be in their right mind. NO welcome committee and I have very little. I was able to take my envelop with letters, stamps and paperwork with me from Louisville. That is it. I should be getting stuff soon. There is a woman here that handles those things but there are a lot of women new. It is a high rise building...towers and levels that kinda make your head spin. _

_I have a few stories to add to my collection. Mainly, I worry about you. I worry about this damn trial and I try not to worry about not noticing something around me. Rache is here as I told you. She has been in longer than me and this is her first time testifying too. Seems the rest of us had the good grace to plead guilty. She asked about you and I told her nothing. I told her you were free living your life and I was happy you never did a thing. She acted like she knew more but I doubt it. It was nice to see an old face. She is still rather fit and is imposing. We talk about old times a bit and it makes me really miss you. _

_I will write you again upon receipt of a letter from you. You know how I do. _

_I Heart you._

_A_

Piper folded it up and walked briskly to visitation. Her name was being called as she approached. Bell told her she was going to lose visitation if she didn't get there earlier. Piper said she was sorry and went in to be patted down. She saw Polly and hugged her close. Polly squeezed her and looked up a bit frowning.

"You are getting...ripped...and are too skinny. How you holding up and have you heard from Alex?" she asked as they sat. Piper smiled and filled her in on her letter. She admitted to being worried.

"Guess what I did last week?" she said leaning in to speak to Polly in a quiet tone.

"You told your mom about Alex." she said in a tone that was the epitome of bored. " Really Piper did you think she wouldn't call me? I just waited to tell you about it in person." Piper laughed and they talked. It seems her mom was appalled and was wondering if Piper was just ' gay for the stay'.

In her normal blunt fashion she asked, "Are you?"

"No. I haven't been ...well I haven't wanted a woman in years. You know that and there is no one here or..no..it is Alex." she said softly. Polly nodded slowly.

"If Alex had never been here or caught..if you'd met her out with Larry..at a restaurant or club...would you have spoken to her?" she asked. Piper leaned back and thought about that scenario.

"I would have tried to ignore her. I would have hidden it from him and he would have wondered what it was that bothered me. If she came up I would have introduced her as an old friend and excused us pushing him to walk away. I would have ran...because my dear friend, I could have. Not really an option here...so that analogy doesn't apply." Piper pointed out to her. Polly leaned forward and put her chin in her hand.

"Sure it does. It shows you that part of what you re feeling about Alex is because you are here. It must be hard to seperate that. I think Larry understands that it is temporary. I just don't know if you do. Because...let me say this because I've been thinking about it and I am just going to say it outright." Piper frowned not liking the tone of her voice.

"Don't you dare do something, consciously or subconsciously to get more time so you can see her or be with her. She doesn't want that. None of us want that...and if you do, if I have to keep driving here to see you...if you keep missing more and more of my son's life because of a stupid super cunt criminal lesbian- I will never forgive you." There were tears in her eyes as she finished. Piper's eyes got huge. She leaned forward and took her hand.

"I promise I wont. I...can't believe you are worried about this." she began. Did they think she had lost her mind? She didn't want to stay one extra minute in this place. Did they know what she had to do to cover up her Pensatucky debacle? Did they know the struggles she has had with guards? No. Piper didn't tell that part to her family. She shielded them and they worried she was too in love. No matter what she says or how many times she talks to them, they really can't know.

That is why she is so close to Alex now. This life...this punishment they both earned has changed them in a way only another convict understands. Would she do something on purpose for more time? No...but shit happens to her like no other person she knows.

"Well, I'm not the only one. Your time is getting closer. I went by the half way house on the way to a meeting. Yes it was about our business. The firm I hired to help get us some facilities for storage and help with processing helped me find a grant. I um..have to apply for it because you..." she rolled her hand. Piper knew she'd not be eligible due to her status as a prisoner.

"Will it effect you getting it?" she asked. Polly explained that it is for their services and they are aware she is part of the business. Piper was happy she was moving forward and trusted her friend completely. The time went quickly and soon she was gone. The search went easier this time and she was soon back in her cube. She pulled out a pad and folded over her late night ramblings.

_Dear Alex, _

_Seeing your letter was like a bolt of lightening. Please write me as much as you like after this...I know you like to wait for letters to respond to...like a correspondence but maybe you would consider sending me a random list of observations? No narrative, but random thoughts you'd tell me if I was there? I'd do the same for you. We could also converse in letters like you prefer. Let me know if you like my idea :) _

_By the way, Roger is amazing. I'm really glad you have him. I've always been glad but now I'm..I can't thank him enough. Thank you for calling Larry as well. Hearing you...was just what I needed. _

_Polly came to visit me today. I told her about you and she listened. She was scared I'd do something stupid to get more time. I realized that she wasn't the only one scared of that...you...Larry. Not me. I know because Prison has taught me that anything can happen. I'm not planning on it but why worry? _

_Free Fall with me a bit. _

_I didn't like hearing about the trip because I felt helpless and scared. I have faith though in your ability to handle what comes your way. Faith is a weird word and one I don't use much. I'm trying it so I'll let you know how it goes. Nicky, Morello, Boo, Red and all of the girls send their hellos. Nicky told me to tell you to eat whatever you can and the most disgusting thing...remember it and tell her. I think sometimes she is a 17 year old boy. Oh...by the way...she is revisiting old haunts. _

_I hope to hear that you called Roger when I call him tomorrow. I seem to have figured out you can call like every other day or something. It is maddening trying to make sense of this system in which we are caught. It infuriates me. _

_I have a new cube mate. Her name is Stacy. She is shy, a self surrender like me..I guess I must have looked that scared. We did our best to welcome her and I haven't shown one iota of resentment that she is in your bunk. _

_I have your pillow though. _

_I heart you too._

_P_

**Alex loved to write letters to her mom. She carried on a phone conversation with her nearly daily but they still wrote long letters to one another. They were beautiful and sometimes she would share part of one with Piper. Piper would send her mom post cards or short notes. She even would send things to Alex's mom. She had met her before they moved and talked to her on the phone often when Alex was too busy to break away to speak to her. She loved to listen to her mom talk about when Alex was young. She wasn't sure really that Alex knew how much her mom talked about her. It had endeared her to Piper. **

**They were in London. Alex rented the flat in London after they left Jakarta. It was one of Piper's favorite places they stayed because it felt the most like being back in New York. It rained too much though and she spent time indoors with Alex. It was fun but slowly she saw how driven her girlfriend really was and how much she had to work. Maybe that is why the letters always touched her so. One lazy rainy afternoon, Piper asked her to explain why letter writing seemed like such a ritual to Alex. Alex would write her mom back as soon as she got the letter. Alex said there were rules and Piper asked what she meant. **

**"Well bad news, like a death or divorce or something is told on the phone. A letter is about feelings that you share or epiphanies you feel are worth sharing. Mom likes to tell me about things that make her think of me or something she wished she'd shared with me. Lately, she has been asking me about why I work so much. I think maybe she is trying to see if it is because she had to work so much to provide for me growing up...that maybe I think that is they only way a person should live." Alex had explained. Piper couldn't believe that her mom had made that observation. Piper knew her mom had to work many jobs to keep them afloat. She knew Alex had little to nothing growing up. It was beautiful and kinda corny how Alex felt about her letters to her mom. It was like she was teaching the art of writing letters as it was taught to her by her mom. Piper couldn't help but find her terribly adorable. **

**"What did you respond?" Piper asked. Alex had shrugged and not really answered. She remembered leaning in to kiss Alex when she didn't respond and feeling a bit glad as well. She didn't want to intrude on her conversation with her mother. Piper pulled back from the kiss and had pulled Alex up to go take a hot bath. **

Piper mailed her letter and visited with Larry on Saturday. She had always kept every letter she got while in prison. She wondered if maybe someday when she reads them again...if it will help her make sense of her time here.

She saw Larry and couldn't help but break out in a smile. His mind was put to ease when he saw her. His eyes were very hungry and Piper felt flushed when he told her he could tell her legs were more muscular from running.

"I told you I'd be ripped. Oh, by the way, I am really happy you shaved the beard." Piper grinned. Larry rubbed his face.

"I knew it! I knew you hated it because you never said a word. It was itchy and hot." he replied leaning in so she could get a whiff of his after shave. Piper closed her eyes and tried not to groan as the smell hit her. Geez, she was a mess of hormones right now. She had a bolt of shock hit her when she realized she was happy and lustful. She was and Alex was living in a high rise hell where she was locked in at night.

Larry drew back from her and reached out to take her hand. Bennett called out, " No touching, Mr. Bloom, "and Larry let go of her hand. Piper smiled and tried to cover up her emotions. This seemed to piss him off. "What is it Piper?"

She sighed and looked down at her hands as she spoke, "I feel guilty. I have a lot of that lately...about a lot of things."

"You feel guilty you are happy and Alex is miserable. Well, she wants you to be here..and be happy, so cut yourself some slack." He said. Piper nodded and smiled up at him. He told her about working with this guy he knows about starting a website. He also told her about keeping hers up to date. She told him about her adventures with the hydraulic lift and what she found in the salad bar. They laughed and Piper felt human again. She thought for the thousandth time that she is a lucky, lucky girl. She almost always had visitors. Now she had more strip searches than she'd ever need but she knew she was blessed.

After he left, she went running. It was nice to clear her head. As she ran around the track she wondered what it would be like to be the one visiting. She imagined how she will feel when she has to drive away from Alex. She stopped in her tracks. For the first time she realized she wasn't going to be able to break it off with Alex when she left. She wasn't going to be able to hold up her part of the deal with Larry.

She knew this to be a truth. She would do whatever it would take, for however long it would take and she will be there for Alex. h

When she came in and showered she called Roger before movie night started. He picked up on the fifth ring and Piper had been worried.

"Sorry I was finishing up dinner. I did talk to our girl today. She said she met with her attorney and will be in the court on Monday. It should be an easy ride over. Also, I will be visiting her next week. I will be in Chicago on business Thursday. I can see her for an hour." Roger said as soon as he picked up.

"Oh that is fantastic Roger! She is testifying soon..that is good news. I got a letter from her and wrote back already. Um, tell her that Polly came to visit and is pushing our business ahead. Um..how are you doing?" she asked...trying not to just rush and talk about Alex.

"I'm fine, I had a fight with my man. He gets pissed when I talk about Alex too much. He hasn't met her and doesn't understand why I"m friends with criminals. He is a bit shallow at times. I think maybe it is time I sought more...mature company." Roger said. He is a fine looking man and never wanted for company, even with his Positive status. Piper knew he'd find a good one eventually.

"I guess you don't know I was married before. I met Bob a year after you left Alex. We were married in Hawaii. He died in a car accident about two months before Alex contacted me again." He stated. Piper told him she was sorry. He kept on talking about Alex. "She had actually sent flowers but wasn't able to attend the funeral because of her legal troubles. She was a good friend. We wrote letters while she was in jail in Vermont. It made us close again. That girl can write a letter if she wants. It seems she finds it easier to put things in to written words," he observed. Piper senses that perhaps Roger was more upset over this fight than he let on.

"Roger did your boyfriend leave?" Piper suggested.

"Yeah. I kicked him out actually, then I finished dinner. I'm kinda glad you called. It helps to focus on my blessings." He mused.

Piper snorted. "Yes, just always remember, you could be in prison for mistakes you made at 23...with one lover incarcerated at another facility and one lover driving to visit you once a week." Roger laughed and she chuckled with him. It was odd when she tried to speak her life out loud. It came across as a Showtime special.

She had to go as the movie was starting soon. "You going to be okay?" she asked him.

"Yes I am. Enjoy your movie, I hope you haven't seen it already. I'll talk with you Monday or Tuesday," he replied and said goodbye. Piper hung up and hoped for the best for her friend. She went to see the movie but regretted it as soon as the lights went down and her hand was empty. Suz sat beside her and Piper frowned. She had been out of psyche for awhile but still hadn't gone near Piper. She didn't speak to her but just watched the movie.

"Just think of me as a seat holder, don't worry...she'll be back soon." Suzanne said in a clear voice. Piper nodded and settled down to watch the movie. She looked ahead so she never had to see any couples holding hands in the dark.

**Another chapter as time ticks on...I hope you enjoy the letters. Please review, I read each one. I got this from PK's twitter, interesting article: /arts/orange-is-the-new-black-ventures-into-privil eged-territory/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=orange-is-the-new-black-ventures-into-privileged-t erritory&utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter Peace, FaeCym**


	33. Chapter 33 Distance Makes the Heart Grow

Piper waited all week and spoke to Roger on Thursday. He said Alex didn't look great. He complained about the facility where she was and how they wasted his time. He assured me though that all she wanted to hear about was how Piper was doing. She told her her testimony went fine and she had heard from her attorney that she may not be called again. There seemed to be a complete lack of information about how long she'd be there and that was frustrating. After her conversation she went outside to run. She ran by herself for the first time since Alex left. She ran and ran too much. She threw up by the fence and the guard told her that she would lose her yard privileges if she didn't take better care.

Finally, on Saturday, she got a three letters from Alex all at once. Two were light weight so she read them first. She figured Alex had sent them all on the day she got her letter.

_Today I saw a woman cluck like a chicken until she was taken out in restraints. It took 12 hours of clucking before they removed her. I couldn't help but think of you. _

_Rache made a pass at me and I missed it completely. I was missing you so much that when I realized she was trying to flirt I laughed at her. It hurt her feelings. I told her point blank that I didn't do prison wives. She found that amusing and didn't try anything else. So stop worrying about it. I know you have because I'm find myself hoping Stacey is ugly._

_I hate being locked in at night. One of the women in our cell snores so loud it is like a freight train in my head. It is worse than the sound of that damn bird in St. Tropez. _

_My arms ache. _

_Rache shoved a woman's head in a toilet. Nothing happened to her and I was relieved._

The last one made her cry. She curled up and cried on her bunk. Stacey came over to ask her if she was okay. Piper just nodded at her and opened the next small letter.

_I think I am the only sane person here. _

_I spent an hour watching BET today and I renewed my vow to never own another TV again. _

_I wish you'd seen my place in Vermont. I think you'd liked the hiking trails. I would give anything to be on them. _

_I saw the hotel where I sent you off with money. It hurt. _

_I made egg salad today with pickle relish and I really missed your casserole. _

_Distance makes the heart grow fungus. The only type of mushrooms I will do. _

Piper smiled and wiped her eyes. She didn't sign off on those and her hand writing seemed a bit different with each one, like she wrote them down at different points in the day. Piper loved them. She opened the other one and chewed her lip as she read.

_Dear Piper, _

_Yes I agree, getting mail from you is electric. I am going to spend all of my stamps sending you different things so you have many items to read. I testified today and I know Roger will tell you about it. Just know that I think it will be over sooner than we expected. I got a cup of coffee as we traveled back. It was good, I wont brag but I'll describe it in detail in person later._

_I can understand why Polly is afraid. We don't always act like we have any sense around each other. We tend to try and protect each other to the detriment of our own lives. I am afraid of what will happen when you leave and I must stay to finish out my sentence. I know you want to know how much that is...and I promise to talk about it with you later. _

_I promise to fall with you as long as you let me try and catch us as well. I may not know what is going to happen with me from one point to the next..I have no say in anything at the moment, but I do know I want you out. I want you home safe in New York City with your family. Maybe, finally I've learned how to love. _

_Roger is amazing and my life line. I want you to know I understand how precious he is. I'm glad you get to be friends again. He has always been a champion of us. _

_Tell everyone I'm doing fine and will have a great story to tell when I get back.I think I understood what you meant about Nicky and I can't say I'm surprised. She had a thing for her. I don't think I'm going to be back to see M off. Please give her my best. _

_Please know that I think of you all the time and I take comfort in hearing about how you are doing. Please be safe and smart. Remember what you promised me and hold on tight...I'll be there._

_I heart you. _

_A_

Piper read it four times. She processed it all and as lights were turned out she finally allowed herself to cry again. She could tell how desperate Alex was and she wanted to be able to do more than write a letter. She was talking about the future though. She mentioned Piper going home and said she wanted it. She said she was learning how to love. Piper hated to tell her but Alex already knew how.

The next day she spent her morning writing Alex. She made three small letters with cute observations.

_I was outside early today and I didn't see a chicken. I thought of you though as it got steadily warmer. _

_I do have ugly feet and I have always wondered why you liked them so much. You'll have to explain that one. _

_Nicky and Morello are so hands on that it makes me want to shove their heads in a toilet. _

_Tell Rache to keep her fucking hands off of you._

She almost erased the last one on that small note but she felt honesty was best. She did a whole set of ramblings about how she hoped Polly wasn't messing up their business. Finally she wrote a full response to her letter. She tore it up and did it again. This letter writing was harder for Piper than she reckoned. When she spoke to Alex, face to face, truths just came out...blurted almost because of the intense feeling of her gaze. On paper, it was harder to lie...no it was harder to speak truths.

_Dear Alex, _

_I need you here. I hate that I can't see you and I hate how I must hear about your life so far after it happened. I am glad your court ordeal is over and now I want to scream at someone until they understand you need to come back home...here. I don't scream though. I run, work and eat. I eat because I made a promise, I run to stay sane and I work because I'm made to work. _

_All I really want is you. I do want my life when I'm out. I got a brochure from my counselor about the half way house and my first thought was that I wanted to show it to you. I put it in the book we are reading. I can't look at it. You do know that no one loves me the way you do. I think you know that. _

_I hope you like all the letters I've sent. I've been thinking so much lately my head hurts. I want so many things all at once that it makes me sick. Longing is torture, it is cruel and unusual punishment. I've found myself reading sonnets. You know that is never a good sign. _

_Stay safe and worry about me less please. Focus on staying safe until you get back. Please Alex, do not engage people, especially if you are short on sleep. _

_I envy you the coffee. _

_I heart you too. _

_P_

She spoke to Roger that weekend. He had spoken to Alex on Saturday. "Her spirits were up. She said she got more mail that anyone and that RAche figured out you were at Litchfield."

Piper asked, "What did she tell her?"

"She told her that you were a good friend. She said Rache was pissed at first but asked to hear some of the funny things you wrote. I don't think Rache gets any mail or has many friends." Roger said sympathetically. Piper was hoping that Alex explained that she was taken woman. She knew though that Rache most likely protected Alex and she didn't want to rock the boat. Piper was fine as long as Alex was safe. She wondered if she'd be okay if Alex slept with her. She knew she'd not be okay and that scared her. Surely she couldn't expect Alex to remain a celibate nun while she was finishing her sentence. Thinking about it made her stomach wobble.

Piper mailed off letters on Monday morning. That afternoon, Morello was told to pack out. They did a party for her and Red made treats. It was sad and Piper tried to be there for Nicky. Nicky was very cheery and really seemed to have it together. After she left, everyone cleaned up and she noticed Nicky was gone. She walked to the kitchen and found her pounding the flour.

"Fuck, I hate this. I knew better. GREAT advice Chapman, now she will go back to Benson Hurst, get with Christopher or some fuck and totally forget me. She'll write two letters tops, then forget I exist." Nicky sniffled after she was too tired to punch.

"You don't know that and if she is that type of girl, fuck her then. You're worth waiting for." Piper said. She gave Nicky a hug and let her cry some more. She hoped someone helped Alex when she left but couldn't bring herself to wish it was Nicky.

She had nightmares about Alex for the next three nights. Each time Stacey woke her up telling her to be quiet. No one really complained to her much. Her phone conversations were short as she didn't realy want to talk about getting out but that is all her family and friends wanted to talk about. Piper just offered simple comments and got off the phone.

"She told me he was convicted. It is all up to DOJ when she returns. She seemed hopeful again."Roger said when they talked Monday. Piper was thrilled. She cursed the fucker for not pleading guilty for the tenth time. She noticed he spoke about her having hope more and felt he was hiding how desperate Alex actually was from her.

She got two more letters from Alex. One was all about the rules this prisoner had made up for rummy. It was a cross between brilliant and psychotic.

Her other letter was short and it made Piper worry.

_Dear Piper, _

_I miss you. I want to feel something like hope but I feel like I will never get out of here. I don't care where I go as long as I'm not locked in this cell anymore. i spent two hours today contemplating how to hide when it was lights out. I wont. I'm not stupid but it felt better to at least think about not sleeping in a locked cell with strange women. _

_Rache left this morning. I should be happy. I mean that means I am next right? No one will tell me anything and it is all I can do to keep from begging my lawyer to get me the hell out of here. _

_I want to see you. I want to touch you. I want out of this place. _

_Now that I love you so well, tell me how to keep my sanity while we are apart?_

_I heart you. _

_A_

She wrote back to her. She had stopped eating the day before. She didn't bother to lie to Roger, she just asked him not to bring it up to Alex. She wrote her two letters. One was just quotes from one of her favorite poets. Edna St. Vincent Millay:

_"They say when you are missing someone that they are probably feeling the same, but I don't think it's possible for you to miss me as much as I'm missing you right now" _

_"Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell." _

_"My heart is warm with the friends I make,_  
_And better friends I'll not be knowing,_  
_Yet there isn't a train I wouldn't take,_  
_No matter where it's going."_

_I use her words because mine fail me. Hold on. Please hold on. _

The next one she wrote fast and mailed right away:

_Dear Alex, _

_I'm here and everything will be okay. If I were to leave tomorrow and not be here when you return, I would find a way to see you again. I will always find a way to see you again. Trust me. I can catch us falling. _

_Morello left and Nicky is going to need you when you get back. I ain't much use to her now. Call Roger soon. _

_I heart you. _

_P_

She spoke to her counselor mid week again and he informed her that her date was set as long as she didn't get written up for any major violation. Piper was frantic. Her time was up in seven weeks. Each day without Alex was making her feel distant and thin. She found she time passed and she forgot to call her family. Larry was getting worried and his letters sounded more frantic. The only person she always called was Roger.

"Hey, she hasn't called me at all. I've not heard from her since she told me he was convicted." Piper was frantic. She was convinced that Alex was hurt. Roger said he tried to call the facility but was put on hold for a long time and got disconnected twice. Piper said she would call him later and he told her to call anytime she could.

To top it all off, Larry was supposed to come visit on Friday and she didn't speak to him first on the phone. She waited and no one came. It was odd to her not to see someone at visitation. She went to call him but it went to his voice mail. She couldn't take him being mad at her for not calling that week. It was petty not to answer his phone and she was furious.

Red came to her cube on Friday before dinner. It was odd seeing her out of the kitchen. "You will come today and eat. Also, you will make sure Nicky eats. Get your blonde head back in the game and look out for her." Piper nodded and agreed to be there. She knew she was a suck ass friend to Nicky, but she couldn't help her state of agitation. She sat with Nicky and made her eat her rice. Piper chewed her food and tasted none of it. She supposed that was a gift.

On Saturday, to her surprise, it wasn't her mom but Polly that came. She walked right over and hugged Piper a bit too hard.

"What is wrong?" Piper asked.

"Okay, first you have to know he is okay. Larry had a car accident. He broke his leg and totalled his car. He also smashed his phone. Through it all though, he was more worried you'd be upset he wasn't here." Polly spewed out. Piper burst in to tears. She started to shake all over and the guard came over. She had Piper put her head between her knees to keep from passing out. Polly was distraught and was worried Piper would be in trouble. She told the guard she got bad news and that Piper would be fine.

"Tell him..tell him I love him...tell him I'm sorry I was mad at him for not coming. I..jesus, i never worry about him driving. I should have. He has done it so much. You be careful too." Piper went on and on. Polly calmed her and told her how he is cracking jokes now and is home resting. She told Piper to call him at home when she gets done and that he will get a new cell phone on Monday. Piper thanked her for coming all that way and left to go call Larry.

It was a hard talk. He was in pain and Piper was beside herself. He acted like it was nothing but Cal got on the phone and told her he was lucky to only have broken his leg. She didn't cry at all after she got off the phone. She had no more tears. She went back to her bunk and just crashed on top. She really felt like her mind would just stop working. She couldn't think or worry anymore.

She dozed off and when she woke up before dinner count there was something Orange in front of her eyes. She blinked and sat up. There, in an orange jumpsuit was Alex Vause. Her head was on Piper's bunk but her body was curled up on the floor. Piper put her hands in her hair and lifted her head. Alex blinked, she had her glasses in her hand. She looked so tired. Piper bent and kissed her lips softly.

"Welcome home, baby."

***I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please review.***


	34. Chapter 34 Justifiable Assault and Angst

45 Days Until Release to Half Way House

Piper kissed her again to make sure Alex was really there. She stood and pulled her up in to her arms. The orange suit hung on her body. She had lost weight. Her hair was limp and she looked exhausted. Piper's hands went down her arms and she raised each bruised wrist to her lips and kissed softly. Alex just looked at her with loving hunger in her eyes. They stared at each other for a long time, with Piper just holding Alex by her wrists tenderly.

They were staring at each other when Stacey walked in to her cube. She froze by the bed and had to clear her throat. Piper turned and blinked her eyes trying to remember who Stacey actually was...then she mumbled. When she looked back to Alex, she was looking at Stacey with a heated expression. Her gaze went slowly up and then down the girl. Stacey clutched her book to her body defensively.

"Um Stacey, this is..." Piper began.

"Alex...Vause. Yeah you um call out her name, I asked someone what the last part was..I am glad you are back. You two..um need me to go? Count is in like three minutes.." Alex seemed to shake herself out of her trance.

"I need to go to my room then. I just threw my stuff on the bunk. Nice uh to meet you, Stacey." Piper clutched at her hand for a moment and Alex stopped walking. "Kid, I don't want to get in trouble my first few hours back. I'll meet you in the chow hall line, okay?" she gently said to Piper. Piper flushed and dropped her hands, giving her best Kanye shrug to try and hide how she was clinging just then. Alex smiled and left. Piper and Stacey stood in their places waiting for the guards to count.

"I'm happy for you." Stacy said quietly. Piper just smiled at her and nodded.

"I think I'm in shock. I'm not dreaming right?" she asked in a whisper looking to Stacey with a bit of desperation in her eyes. Gonzalez walked by as she spoke clicking her counter. She turned and counted down the other side but didn't move down the isle again.

She turned and looked at Piper, a smile never touching her face.."You aren't dreaming Chapman, " she said in that voice of authority she had so well. Piper swallowed her tears and grinned a stupid goofy smile. Gonzalez never cracked a smile but when Piper watched her walk out, she saw many of her friends were grinning. When count was over, many approached her to hug her.

Boo said, "Told you she'd be fine...she is going to eat like a pig for a few days but it will be cute." Piper waited for her cube to be called and tried not to sprint to the Cafeteria. She was made to wait while two prisoners were being patted down. Piper tried hard to hold her impatience inside but Mendez came up to her and told her to get against the wall.

"You seem anxious, Chapman. You aren't afraid because you have something on you too eh?" He said as he leaned against her. The other two were found with contraband. They were trusted to deliver mail to different buildings on the compound and actually had a set of vibrating dildoes in their uniform pants. Piper wanted to laugh at the absurdity of the dum duo but she couldn't because Mendez was still hawking up on her.

"I don't even know these two. May I please be allowed to go to dinner?" she asked in her best polite voice.

"I haven't patted you down, inmate." He turned and motioned all the other inmates to walk on to lunch. Nicky hung back and he told her to move on before he gave her to Bell for a strip search. The other inmates were being marched to Kaputo. Mendez had her alone in the hall. She bit her lip and stood frozen with her hands up on the concrete. She felt the fury rising and closed her eyes. She wasn't going to hit him or struggle. If she did, he won...she just kept saying that to herself. He slowly felt her hair, running his fingers through it. She felt bile rise in her throat. She tried hard to think about Larry. About a good man...there is such a thing as a good man. She just stayed still as he ran his hands down her arms, then in front. As usualy, he grabbed each of her breasts and squeezed. Piper clenched her jaw but otherwise she stayed still. He moved his hands down to her hips and down her legs. He was taking his dear sweet time. He started up her leg and got to her crotch.

Piper chewed her lip and let a small growl escape. She steadied herself for his intrusive rubbing but instead she felt a whoosh of air. She turned and saw Alex falling in to Mendez. She cried out and reached out to try and catch her. He was crouching to do the pat down and he fell over on his side cursing.

"Enough. Vause, Chapman go now to the chow hall. Mendez, in my office." Kaputo shouted. Piper frantically pulled at Alex until she fell back in to her arms. Piper used all of her strength to pull her away from him. Alex said nothing but was frigid with fury.

"What the hell, she was attacking me. She needs to go to SHU now!" Mendez started as he stood up. Kaputo marched to him and shoved him against the wall.

"You are lucky I don't fire your ass right now for sexual assault. You have a suspension already Mendez and are on thin ice. I saw your pat down of Chapman...then I saw Vause here running back to her dorm for something and she tripped. Good thing too, because she probably saved you from an assault charge. My office now. Chapman take her out of here now before I change my fucking mind." He growled out at them. Piper hurried down the hall, her arm around Alex's waist. They turned the corner and saw a bunch of prisoners and guards standing. Piper knew immediately that they had overheard the conversation.

"Couldn't happen to a nice guy," Fischer said before turning and ushering the prisoners back in to the hall. Piper kept a hold on Alex's arm and led her to the line. Alex pulled it away and tried not to look like she was sulking. Piper turned to look at her once in the line, then turned back around. She made an effort not to jerk or snatch at her tray. The chow line greeted Alex with geniuine joy to have her back. Piper was immune to it as her body was still trying to quell the fury.

Alex could have been sent away. Alex could be down the hill...she lost it. Her cool, calm and reasonable Alex had lost her shit with Mendez. The same thing she had warned and warned Piper not to do. They sat at a free table and were joined by Yoga Jones, Nicky, Boo and Norma. Everyone talked to Alex, no one mentioned what had just happened. Piper wasn't looking at her but she noticed that Alex had a huge tray of food. She was trying to control how she ate but she was starving. Piper winced and felt bad about being angry. Her love had waited on her to go eat, she waited on her while starving and then was told by friends that Mendez had Piper in the hall.

Piper would have done the same thing. What was it that Alex said in a letter? They did things to protect each other that hurt them.

"That was your one dumb ass pass. You don't get another." Piper said. It was the first thing she said at the table. Alex looked up and swallowed her mouthful of mashed potato. Alex nodded and Piper gave her the rest of her mashed potatoes.

After dinner, Alex went to shower. Piper waited patiently for her. She sat on her bunk after she had tried to make it more straight. Stacey seemed nervous. Piper laughed, " We wont make out in front of you. Um she reads to me." Stacey looked at her and laughed. Piper asked her why that was funny.

"Well I've been hearing how the two of you are like star crossed fighting lovers...better than TV Drama. But you look nervous like you're going on a first date and you're preparing for her to read to you." Stacey explained. A couple of other girls laughed around her and Piper blushed.

"She reads wonderfully." Piper tried to explain. Somehow that made them laugh harder. Alex walked up on their conversation. Her hair was wet and she still had on that Orange, but to Piper she was gorgeous. Alex sat on her bunk and asked what was funny.

"Apparently we aren't living up to our reputation...which is silly, considering you were back less than an hour and fell to sleep on my bunk, then less than four hours back you att..um fell in to a guard. Justifiable Assault and Angst should be our ship name." Piper said with glee. She then explained what a ship name was to Alex and Stacey. Finally, Alex opened the book. The brochure fell out and she looked up at Piper. They didn't discuss it yet, Alex hands shook though as she placed it in the back of the book. She started read and Stacey asked the title of the book.

Before she could answer, other girls from the dorm called out the title, "City of Thieves by David Benioff." Piper grinned and Alex started to read.

**short one full of love...review please, Peace, FaeCym (please follow me on twitter faecym and tumblr faecym-mica***


	35. Chapter 35 If I Was One to Pray

44 Days

Piper slept through the night. She awoke early and got her things together for a shower. She wasn't surprised to see Alex waiting on her. They slipped in to the shower early and were kissing before the water hit them.

"We have to hurry, I think they're watching us after the Mendez thing," Alex said. Piper clenched her jaw and Alex pulled back from the kiss. She could see how pissed off Piper was over that still, so she hitched up her legs and wiggled one long finger inside of her. Piper grunted because it was so hard to stay mad at her while she was playing her sex like her favorite instrument. Piper clung to Alex and moved her hips just so. She grunted out a fast orgasm under the water, and turned, slamming Alex against the shower wall. She bent her head and bit down on Alex's shoulder as her hands sought out her sex. Alex moaned but held on to her wrists, not letting her have her sex.

Piper looked up confused. Alex said, "No..you're mad still. We'll talk...we have time, kid." Then she kissed her again and slipped out of the stall and in to her own next to Piper. She washed her hair, frowning all the while. She stepped out and wrapped up in her towel. She was brushing her teeth when Alex got out and joined her. Piper looked at her in the mirror. Other girls were coming in to the shower now. Piper spit, rinsed and gathered up her things.

"How about we grab some tea, serial bars and our book...and head to that tree in the yard? We can finish the chapter." Alex offered. It was a peace offering and she knew they'd also talk about how Alex almost fucked everything up yesterday, just to keep Mendez from doing his normal shit. Piper nodded her consent, then went back to the dorm. Technically, Alex shouldn't be down on the dorm halls because she didn't have a cube. She had totally ignored that yesterday. Piper didn't want her to get in to more trouble, so she hurried and met Alex at her room door.

"You are carrying the tea, I got the book." Piper said as she walked up to her. Alex smiled and nodded then they walked together towards the hall. As they walked their shoulders brushed. Piper smiled and looked at her. Alex smiled back. Her color was so much better than yesterday. Piper vowed then and there that Alex would gain weight before she left. Thinking of leaving made Piper swallow. She pushed it from her mind and they gathered up their food. O'Neil said nothing to them as they left with their cups. It wasn't chilly and the ground looked like Spring. Piper sat in her spot and Alex sat beside her. No one was around.

"First, let me say, I'm sorry I almost got us both sent to the SHU. I know you were doing what you were supposed to do. I know he feels ya up, he has done it to me a couple of times. He isn't the only one and I should have just let him do it. It...I had the worst dreams worried about you and him. He never gave up one single opportunity before I left to tell me how he was going to 'take care of' you while I was gone. It fuckin' drove me crazy." Alex murmured. Piper looked at her concerned.

"I only saw that one time. He did it more?" She asked softly, the anger leaving her as she realized how hard it would have been for Alex to ignore that.

"Yeah, he would come to the laundry during the day to start shit. I ignored him, which made it worse in a way. Anyways, it's over and I'm sorry...thank you for pulling me off of him. Um..you are rather strong now, Kid." Alex said with admiration. Piper blushed a bit, but flexed her arm some. Alex felt of her muscle and made a low purring sound in her throat. Piper had trouble swallowing when she heard it.

"I always said I would get ripped in Prison. Lifting the cables and what not at work the past month has worked my arms...and you know I run now. Um...before we start reading, I'd like to know something. Alex...how long do you have left on your sentence?" Piper asked. She looked her in the eye as she asked. She was scared of the answer, but this Piper...this new Piper asked the hard questions.

"I never really say..." Alex began.

"I know, but I'm asking you that now. I deserve to know." Piper said in a firm tone. Alex looked at her as if she was going to argue. No one does your time but you. Well, unless you have a loved one that does it with you. Like Larry was doing time with Piper..his life on hold until she was done. Piper wanted to explain that to Alex but she just waited to see if she agreed.

"I was given 12 years to start with, I served time in Vermont and that reduced it to 9 and a half. I gave up people...as you know...and my final time, with good time out-unless I'm offered a chance at like a boot camp or something- will be five years and four months." Alex said in a soft voice. "When you leave I will have served 14 months of it." Piper put her tea down and looked out over the yard. It was about what she had figured.

"I worried it would be 7 years, I guess good time will knock it down. That means no more trips to the SHU Alex." Piper said in an even tone. She opened the book to where Alex left off and handed it to her. Then she opened up her cereal bar and started to nibble. Alex looked at her a moment, then took a sip of her tea. She started to read and Piper listened. Once she finished the chapter, Piper made her eat all of her bar and the rest of the one Piper started. They came back in when the guard called. Alex stopped at the door and looked at Piper.

"I was afraid to tell you. You've handled it well." She said in a low voice as she opened the door and they stepped back inside.

Piper shrugged, " I had figured most of it out. I...don't ever want to know what you got off for giving me up. I'm just glad it was reduced. I'll meet you in the rec room, I have to make some calls." She smiled and walked down to her dorm, leaving Alex by the door. She put up the book and made her way to the phones. It was just about the first call time. Piper waited her turn and then dialed Larry.

"Morning, how are you? I think Cal worried you, I'm fine Pipes. My leg will heal back perfectly, it was a clean break. I hurt it climbing out of the car, it was weird." Larry rambled on and Piper was convinced he was high as a kite on pain meds. It was kinda nice talking to high Larry. She asked him about his car...about his meds...who was there helping.(Pete) They talked for ten minutes before he asked her if she'd talked to Roger.

"No um, but I think Alex is going to call him. Oh..oh..yes, you don't know, Alex is back. I..literally woke up from a nap and there she was...they brought her straight back from Chicago, she had no warning." Piper explained. Larry seemed relieved.

"I'm glad, now you will take better care of yourself. We are in the home stretch Pipes. My cast should be off a few days before you get out of the half way house." His voice was vibrating with excitement. Piper felt her stomach flop and she swallowed her half of a cereal bar again.

To Him she said, "That is wonderful, darling. Though I wont get to sign your cast. Tell me...what inappropriate things did Pete write on it and how are you covering them up when your mom visits?" The question made him laugh and he delved in to an explanation of waking up to a half naked woman on drawn on his cast. She got off the phone with him and called her Dad. It was so nice to hear his voice. She caught him up, told him that her friend was back.

"Alex. She is more than a friend Piper, no reason to keep it from me. Your mother called," he said in a dry tone that Piper had to admit, she mimics when trying not to be sarcastic.

"Oh..well Mom is a blabber mouth. Yes, Alex is more than a friend, Dad. I'm very happy she is back. I don't want to talk about Larry or what this does to us, we are adults and everyone is aware of what is going on in our relationship." Piper defended. He got quiet for awhile and she had to say his name to make sure he was still on the phone.

"I'm here. Piper, I want you to promise me something..." he began.

"Dad, I'm not going to do something stupid to get more time..." her voice was edged with anger. She was tired of everyone assuming she'd do the most stupid thing she could do in this situation.

"No I know you aren't that stupid Piper. No I want you to promise me that you will not marry Larry until you know for certain you don't ever want to see her again," her dad said in reply.

Piper was stunned. She and Larry had not discussed marriage since before Christmas. They had made this arrangment, the one where she gets to have Alex while she was in Prison and then they didn't discuss anything else. She remembered that not everyone knows they broke up before the holidays but still...it was odd to hear someone discuss her marrying Larry. Piper felt pressure on her chest and she took a huge gulp of air.

"You there, sweetheart?" her Dad inquired.

"Yeah..um Yes Sir I am." Piper answered.

"Well, my little girl, are you going to promise me this and put your old dad's mind to rest?" He said trying to make her smile.

"Sure Dad. I will promise you that. Look, I don't know what is going to happen when I get out. I am just working towards that day. I have probation, work...I have to get through it all until finally the government isn't controlling my life. It has been years Dad and will be more, from indictment to the end of my probation. I can't think that far ahead and just...guess what I'll do. But I promise not to marry Larry unless I know for certain I'll never see her again, " she promised. This seemed to settle him and they spoke some more about writing more letters and then hung up.

Piper didn't see Alex again until Lunch. She was sitting with Nicky and they seemed to be having an intense conversation. Piper approached quietly, but sat at a different table. It took Alex a few minutes to realize she was sitting at a different place. She looked over and frowned at her. Piper winked at her to ease her mind. Taystee, Poussey and a few other girls sat at her table.

"You all glowing now and shit. I swear, I don't understand you lesbians but any fool can see y'all two in love." Poussey commented. Piper flushed and rolled her eyes at the sentiment. Still, it was nice to hear.

"Not much to understand, and I'm not a lesbian. I...simply am me. I guess the technical term is bisexual, but it always sounded like I had to cut myself, bisect myself in order to have an orgasm. Briefly I entertained the term 'omni-sexual' but that made it sound like I'd fuck a rock if it looked at me a certain way." Piper rambled on and the table burst out laughing. She listened to Taystee and Poussey sound like two white girls discussing sexuality on a spectrum. It was fun to be picked at by them again. Piper was actually smiling. Her face hurt and she realized it had been a long while since she really smiled. She looked over to see Alex watching her. She bent her head to the side and shrugged at her as if to say 'what can I do? they find my sexuality amusing'. Alex just rolled her eyes and laughed as well.

They went to the rec room and played cards. Piper cheated. She was getting her ass whooped so she sat a certain way to see Alex's cards. Alex caught her and told her she'd pay. Piper was instantly wet. She leaned in and said, "Promises, promises..." then leaned back to continue the hand. Nicky joined them and actually laughed at something Alex had said. Piper watched them talk. Nicky was better just being around Alex. Piper closed her eyes briefly and pushed back the feeling of terror that threatened to overwhelm her. She wouldn't allow herself to think about Nicky supporting Alex while she was gone. If she did, she didn't trust herself to remain civil. No one, except maybe Alex, had done more for her since arriving at Litchfield, than Nicky.

Piper was so pissed at herself. Larry and Alex share her. They both know the other has a hold on her heart and they share. Yet, Piper can't even stomach the thought of Nicky giving Alex comfort when she is gone. Why is she so selfish?

"Piper..Piper.. turn."Alex said as she touched Piper's hands. Piper blinked and played the wrong card. Alex laughed and took up more points from the deck. Piper put her cards down.

"I have to write some letters, here Nicky you take my spot," Piper swallowed as she said it and slipped up out of the seat. She was half way across the room before Alex said anything.

"You want to meet up later?" she began. Piper waved her hand in a not very clear answer and left the room. She made it back to her cube and put her head in her hands. Shit. She had a hard time leaving the room and letting Nicky play her hand. How the fuck was she supposed to leave Alex here? Five years.

She wrote her letters and before long it was time for count. She stood for it and was thrilled to see Mendez wasn't on duty. She hadn't heard what became of him so maybe he had actually gotten fired this time. She was on her way out to lunch when Dawson pushed her against the wall.

"What is wrong officer?" she asked a bit scared.

"I am frisking you inmate. You seem to cause problems wherever you go. It seems an officer can get attacked and yet nothing happens. So, be prepared for a lot of this inmate." He growled out in her ear as she patted her down. He didn't linger on her breasts or rub her crotch. He was rough though and did it twice. Piper just bit the inside of her cheek and remained passive.

"You can go...but expect more of that," he said with vicious glee. Piper just looked at him with a bored expression and walked on to dinner. She didn't tell anymore at the table about her pat down. She figured someone would see it soon enough. Alex sat beside her at the table. Piper gave her a corn muffin from her plate. Alex ate everything.

"I'm going to come read to you tonight." she began but Piper shook her head.

"No, it's out of bounds for you right now. Wait until they get you a bunk. Conners is leaving tomorrow. Maybe you will get her bunk." Piper said. Alex didn't like having to wait. She had done it yesterday...yet she knew Fischer and Gonzalez had been lenient. One of the things that Piper had learned is that some rules weren't enforced when certain guards were on duty. You had to navigate through the waters with care. She knew now that Dawson was going to give her a hard time. They had to be careful.

They were walking back from the cafeteria when Officer Montgomery, pulled Piper out of the group and patted her down. Nicky held Alex's sleeve the entire time. Boo asked what was up and was threatened with a pat down as well. Everyone knew Boo hid food on her body so she walked on down the hall. Alex continued with the rest of them. Piper just clenched her jaw and put up with the thorough search. It wasn't fair but there was nothing she could do. Correctional officers can pat down any inmate at anytime. She hoped they'd just get bored doing it and stop.

She went by Alex's room. She was sitting on her bunk. Piper stood in the doorway.

"It's nothing. I will be harrassed for a bit. I'll be sure not to carry anything even remotely contraband. It is just to get me back for Mendez. It will blow over...and they didn't feel me up, so no jumping on them." Piper warned. Alex nodded and looked up. She was crying. Piper walked in and knelt down before her. " Hey...hey, it's alright, " she began.

"I just want you out of here...and I don't. I want you safe...away from sicko men that can touch you whenever they want. Shit...then I don't." Alex said. Piper sighed...that summed up her feelings as well. Piper smiled up at her and decided to change the subject.

"I will meet you in the rec room in a few. I'm going to go get the book. You can start the new chapter in the corner. Once they hear you read, they'll get quiet," Piper cajoled. Alex nodded agreeing and Piper left to go get the book.

Later that night, Piper wrote more in her journal letters. It felt weird writing to Alex still when she was just a few rooms away. Yet it calmed Piper's mind.

She dated the letter and wrote:

_Dear Alex, _

_I have you back here now. I'm so happy to be able to touch you. Each day is a gift. Please don't let this damn place get us down. We have enough to worry about. Oh baby, I'm not religious but I wish I could pray for strength to let you go. I can see that you will end up in Nicky's arms. I can even understand it...she needs you now over Morello...you will seek comfort from her over me. I will have Larry...all will be good. _

_Except it wont be because I will not be in your arms. What was it you wrote? Now that I know how to love you so well, how do I do it and stay sane?_

_How do I leave you and stay sane?_

_How do I keep my promises to you, Larry, Polly..fuck even my dad? Who knew leaving here would be as hard as walking in?_

_You told me how long you have today. Fifty months left when I leave. Fifty. _

_Alex, give me strength. _


	36. Chapter 36 Adult Conversations

42 Days

Piper was finding the constant pat downs to be more humiliating than she had first encountered. It made her alien to others as she moved from place to place. It also made seeing Alex alone very hard. Luschek gave her errands to do driving Nicky and two other girls around the grounds testing current in all of the out buildings. It was crap work but Piper was thankful to be driving. Once she was back in the building she was patted down. She didn't complain to anyone and just tried to stick out the storm. She did check her clothing often and she didn't stand next to anyone she didn't trust. Alex was struggling with it. She also continued her job on Healy. She met with him for over an hour on Monday. Piper sat with her in the rec room afterwards and tried to get her to talk about it. Alex just darted her eyes to the COs standing by the wall. Piper did tell her about Larry's accident...and she talked about her guilt. Alex listened.

"I'm sorry about his accident and I understand you are feeling guilty. I'd feel bad if someone visiting me had an accident," Alex said. She didn't tell Piper not to mention Larry and she was very thankful. She remembered how Alex specifically asked her not to talk about her future plans with him as her time got small. Piper hated not sharing everything and wasn't prepared for the difficulty.

"I'm out." Piper said as she started to count her points. Alex snorted and counted the points in her hand. Nicky came in and sat beside them. Piper smiled up at her and offered to deal her in to the game. She shook her head and just sat in the chair, watching Alex shuffle.

"Pipes do you remember when we taught or tried to teach those drunk tourist how to play rummy? We were trapped in a hut during a downpour. Where.." Alex stopped her mind trying to remember.

"West Java, I think. That happened more than once. Alex would get a notion to go out without a guide and it would rain." Piper smiled remembering. Nicky smiled, she liked hearing their stories. Piper knew that and so did Alex.

"I was in Jakarta once, I was clean too...I wasn't when I left. Shit is easy to get there. It was a weekend. You guys seemed to have spent a long time there." Nicky prompted.

"That was Alex's main territory in the beginning." Piper offered. Alex looked at her and squinted. Piper raised her eyebrow. She knew Alex didn't share many specific details. She thought perhaps Alex wanted to keep a low profile. Yet she knew that she trusted Nicky.

"It was fun...until someone steps on a jellyfish." Alex said. Piper laughed and Nicky just shook her head. Piper was happy because she was winning. Dawson came in to the room and stopped to talk to his buddy Walsh. He heard Piper laugh when she went out and Nicky was stuck with a full hand of cards. He walked over and demanded she stand for a pat down. Alex stiffened. Nicky got a bored look on her face and leaned back.

"I don't get it, you guys know Mendez is a douche bag. Why the sudden show of support?" Nicky asked in her sarcastic voice. Walsh was on her quickly. Alex stood up too and Walsh put out his arm. He pulled Nicky up and started to pat her down as well. Alex stood frozen. Piper clenched her jaw to remain silent. Nicky turned when he was done and said, "You should look in to some blood pressure medicine, Officer, I heard that cold sweaty hands may be a sign of hypertension." He threatened her with a shot and Alex stepped up beside her.

"She is just worried about you Sir. We don't want anything to...I mean we're just heading out to our bunks." Alex pulled at Nicky but didn't reach for Piper as Dawson still had her by the forearm. She did stand still and just look over at him.

"Head back to your cubes ladies before you lose privileges." Dawson threatened. Piper walked out in front of Alex. She apologized and Nicky just shrugged.

"Look it is better I get in trouble than Alex going off, which is what they want. It pisses them off she got away with knocking Mendez on his ass...though really no one saw it but you guys and Kaputo." Nicky explained.

Alex sighed and said as she looked at Piper, "I just dont want them fucking up your time out."

"You and me both."Piper replied. She said good night and walked with Nicky to the dorms. Alex was still in the rooms. Piper thought she'd get Conner's bed but it all depended on when Healy did the paperwork. Piper tried not to worry about what Alex was up to with him.

Each night in her bunk, Piper would write another entry to Alex. She always dated it and it was always full of stuff she never said to her in person.

_Today I dealt Nicky in to a game. It was easy and natural yet I felt like I was going to puke. I want to shout...please don't come around her, please don't sit next to her, please god don't fuck her when I go. _

_But I didn't. See, I'm learning how to love you better._

_The constant pat downs are wearing on me. I hate to see it touch you and it makes me want to avoid you. But that just hurts. When is it ever going to get easy for us. _

Day 41

Piper visited with Larry and Pete. He looked so awkward on crutches. She hugged him close and kissed his neck. Piper wanted to sigh the cast but she wasn't allowed. They knew it but for some reason it pissed her off. Larry joked and Pete teased him mercilessly.

"Look, I have some good news. I spoke with your lawyer and I will be able to pick you up from here and drive you to the halfway house. There isn't anyone else going to that area, so it would be a special trip. You were a self surrender so basically it is the same thing. I will pick you up at the gate and we get to ride together to the house. I will be able to drive by then." He offered. Pete wasn't too sure but he seemed to try and be positive. Piper was thrilled she didn't have to ride to New York in the van. She wasn't sure she would have been restrained but she was worried about it.

After the visit, she watched them leave from the window. Larry waved up and hobbled out on crutches. She felt better having seen him. She found Alex in her room and was actually happy she'd made it to her room without a pat down. Alex looked up and smiled.

"I think I'll be in the dorm soon. You saw Larry? How is his leg?" Alex asked. P

"He is in pain and I hate it. They wouldn't let me sign his cast. Pissed me off but what can you do?" Piper said as she looked at the top bunk that had been hers when she first got there. She wanted to tell her that Larry would pick her up but she thought that was information that maybe she didn't want to know. Not telling her made Piper feel awful.

"What is it?" Alex said, patting the bunk beside her. Piper sat, careful not to touch her thigh.

"He arranged to be able to pick me up and take me to the house when I leave. I was happy I don't have to be transported. I wasn't sure if I'd have to go in cuffs or.." Piper tried to explain.

"Well good. I don't want you to ride like that ever, if you can help it. That is a good thing, it probably kept you from having to wait a few days until they had more going your way." Alex explained and Piper nodded agreeing.

"I never know what to tell you..or what to say. I have all of this going on and..."she mumbled.

Alex nodded and smiled, " You know I understand it is hard. I just can't hear things that will...about when you get out. I looked and the brochure. You'll have evenings to hang out a bit, chores and you will start your job. You will excel there and be home with him in Brooklyn before you know it. I...can't know any details Piper." Her voice broke and Piper reached out to take her hand. Alex looked up at the door. Her roommates were playing rook in the rec room before last count.

"I'm sorry. I...wow this is harder than we thought, so let's just set it all up. I can't see you when I leave. I'll be on restrictions for two years. However, I think we can do things like use Roger to send mail or phone calls." Piper began. She had thought about it...it was a grim reality but it was what they had.

"Well, we have two things there. One, is that you promised Larry we wouldn't communicate." Alex began, she looked at Piper with a hopeful gaze. It said, " please pick me" but her mouth stayed closed.

"I can't do that. I can't keep that promise. I realized it when you were gone. It is too hard Alex, knowing you are alright is fundamental to me not losing my fucking mind." Piper said in a desperate voice. Alex nodded softly. Piper looked at her, waiting on her to continue.

"Two, I want you free and living your life. It is important to me, Piper. I...need to know you are healthy and whole...but I don't want you to return here. I know I can say goodbye to you once, but Piper..." Alex shook her head. She had never watched her lover leave like Piper had watched with Larry each week.

"But I'll see you...I will be able to hold you at least twice a week. Baby..please don't be like this.." Piper tried not to whine but it sounded that way. Alex squeezed her hand and shook her head.

"That is what I offer, listen..I will write to Roger with letters meant for you on the first and fifteenth of each month as long as I'm at Litchfield. We can discuss visitation once you are off of all the restrictions...but don't count on it. I just ask that we write like how we did, you know..thoughts we'd share if we were together and a conversation." Alex said. Piper's heart soared as it was better than she thought.

"Okay um what about Larry? No mention.." she edged asking. Alex stood up and walked over to the door, leaning in the frame she looked down the hall and back, checking for COs or her roommates returning. Piper waited while Alex thought. She bit her lip in the way she does when she is worried. It really made Piper want to kiss her. She clenched the mattress of her bunk hard with both hands instead.

"In general, but you know I don't want to know about your relationship. If you ever decide you don't want to keep writing then just send me a postcard that says, "Hello. Goodbye."Alex said with a sad smile. It was from _The Glass Menagerie_ and Piper had read it to Alex when they first met. Piper nodded agreeing but she couldn't imagine doing that.

"What about phone calls?" Piper ventured. She was trying to push for as much as she could, she knew the more Alex kept in touch with her the better they would fair.

"We both have called him. I will not take a chance."Alex said. Piper frowned. She knew the state woudln't have the resources to tap a prominent citizen's phone just to catch her in a violation. Still she let Alex have this one...

"Um maybe just at first or something to know we're okay..." Piper tried again. Alex sighed.

"This is good though, look at us..two adults having a conversation about a hard situation. We're disagreeing but not shouting. I think this may be our best relationship convo since we both admitted we're fuckheads." Piper offered to Alex to make her smile.

Alex walked over and sat back down, leaning over to put her mouth close to Piper. Piper looked at her lips and stifled a moan. "I'll think about it and yes we are doing surprisingly well. However, you haven't said if you are going to tell Larry about our communicating."

Piper sighed again and looked at her in the eyes. " I will if you make me. I...don't share well when it comes to you and to be honest, I think the fewer people that know the better. We haven't even got Roger to agree yet, so..." Piper said talking with her hands like she does when she is upset.

"I don't want to make you do anything Piper. I agree though about the safety. I tell you what, you tell him if you want or don't I'll write the letters like I promised. AND I'll think about a call. Roger will agree, he pretty much said he would help us when you got out. I do talk to him often. Polly is still on my list as well but we need to make sure first that you aren't being monitored that closely." Alex said with a grin. Piper had to laugh imagining Polly taking calls from Alex.

They were laughing when the CO came in and told Alex to come with him to her new bunk. Sure enough it was Conners. She was two cubes down from Piper and Stacy. Piper was pleased she was so close. She spent time before lights out listening to Alex read. It was nice. She also looked through the brochure with her. Alex was happy to see the place and hoped she got a good placement like that. Piper knew it was Larry's dad that worked hard to get her there, in Brooklyn, close to his son. She didn't brag and was grateful for her advantages.

**Piper remembered when Alex would crawl in to bed late at night in their London apartment. She had two major issues happen while they were out at the theatre. Piper had to take the tube back because Alex had to return to the flat. When she did Alex was still on the phone. Piper went to bed and was asleep before Alex was finished. Yet that night, Alex pulled her to her and nuzzled her neck, waking her up. **

**"I did it. I worked it out and everything will go through. I did it and I turned around..but you were in here. I then totally wanted to be in here with you." She whispered in her ear. Piper was tired and tired of getting pushed aside for Alex's job. She resisted and turned away. Alex growled with frustration. **

**"You know, I just want to provide for you. I know I work too much but my job isn't one I can just turn off because we got tickets on the West End." Alex said. It was an old fight. Piper just rubbed her face and turned to face her. **

**"I was sleeping Alex, you feel guilty I went to bed without you and are horny because you made a big deal. I didn't say a thing, I just went to sleep...but now that I'm awake." Piper said and she pounced on her. She pinned Alex's hand up over her head and kissed her thoroughly. She had missed her tonight, she had touched herself while she waited, thinking about Alex, hoping she'd come to bed. Piper ground her hips in tight circles against Alex's thigh. She brought her leg up to Alex's sex and rubbed up. Alex had enough. She turned her over fast and was kissing down her body, on top of the squirming girl. Piper squirmed. Alex did her magic on Piper, her slow licking tongue driving Piper insane. They made love until the sun came up and Piper made them breakfast. Alex was back on the phone by 10AM but Piper had enjoyed a morning in bed with her and that kept her thrilled for weeks. **

In her bunk that night Piper wrote more in her journal letter.

_Dear Alex, _

_You have moved down the row from me and we actually got to read together tonight. We talked about the house...we made plans like adults. I feel better knowing what we are going to do, but I still don't know how I am going to exist with only letters from you for two years. I can't allow myself to think about further years especially if you will not relent about visiting. I don't know what we are going to do. _

_I heart you._

_P_

_***I hope you are enjoying the story. Let me tell you guys that your reviews just make my day. I enjoy writing this so much and the interaction is my favorite part. Please review. Peace, FaeCym_


	37. Chapter 37 Fucking Evil Genius

34 Days

The pat downs started to slow. They heard Mendez was coming back but he would be assigned the gate. It was a relief to know he wasn't going to be on the floors at night. Piper knew he'd get back in and just hoped he'd leave Alex alone. The week went by without any incident. Someone had taken all the ketchup packets from one of the pantries and used them to paint a yucky mural.

"Well at least they were attempting art or something. I mean it isn't like I've seen any art classes or anything around. I thought maybe they'd start of the other classes after the Track but nothing happened." Piper discussed at dinner.

"It was a fucking mess and the cleaning crew had to work extra to get it off..and we are out of ketchup. I can barely force that meatloaf down..if I don't cover it in ketchup I'm screwed." Nicky complained. Piper made a face. She frequently couldn't stomach the meat that was served there. She didn't say this out loud mind you. Nicky didn't seem to care. She hadn't gotten a letter this week from Morello and had been hard to please. Alex tried to point out that Morello had told her that she had family coming in for a Christening. Nicky didn't believe it and was already trying to harden her heart to the abandonment.

"Sasha asked me to hook up again. I think I'll see if the Chapel is open. I'll see you guys." Nicky said as she stood up and made eyes at Sasha. Piper frowned. She didn't like how Nicky just chose to turn her attention to another woman when Morello let her down. She shifted and realized she couldn't eat another bite.

"I'm not Nicky Piper, so don't paint me with her brush." Alex whispered across the table to her. Piper looked up and smiled.

"I know you aren't Nicky. It just sucks sometimes because I want you to be happy...and I don't. I suck at sharing. I'm selfish." Piper admitted. She didn't look up at Alex she just played with her spork and the yellowish rice.

"I want you to eat a big piece of Pizza for me when you are completely done..home from the house, free as a bird..eat a big piece for me. Promise?" Alex asked.

"Promise." Piper replied. As they walked back towards the dorm, Piper asked Alex, "Did Roger agree to assist us once I'm out?" Alex kept walking but nodded.

"I spoke to him yesterday in our sort of way. He doesn't know the specifics and will be up this week to talk to me more about it." She answered and Piper hoped she'd get to see him in the visitation room again. She wondered also if Nora would visit with him or had she just visited on the holiday. They were by the open closet when Alex pulled them inside. They hadn't spent much time alone because of the pat downs. Alex wasted no time dropping to her knees and pulling Piper's pants down. Piper had to steady herself on her shoulders.

"In a hurry love?" she asked laughing. Soon though her laughter died on her lips as Alex started to make long quick jabs with her tongue expertly. Piper swayed and reached out to lock the door. She brought the heel of her hand to her mouth and bit down as Alex continued to tease and stroke her sex with that talented tongue.

Piper grunted out, "I...uhnn wont last...fuckk" she growled out as she fell again over the edge in to ecstasy. She shook so that she had a problem standing. Alex was up and had her arms around her quickly. Piper swayed and collapsed against her. She wanted to return the favor, to taste Alex but she was dizzy a bit so she clung to her. They kissed and Piper tasted herself on her mouth. It fueled her lust and made Piper's hands stroke up under her shirt. Alex took her by both of her wrists and pulled herself away.

"We can't. Dawson is on in our dorm tonight. You gotta go first then I'll follow. Soon...I so want to feel you inside of me soon, kid." Alex growled out. She turned Piper to the door, unlocked it and peeked out. Piper darted in to the hallway and Alex waited behind. She made it to the dorm door without a pat down. She stood still as he did it. He seemed to notice she was sensitive and his eyes were sorta dilated when he came around the front of Chapman. She just smiled at him.

"May I head back to my cube, sir?" she asked politely. His nostrils flared and Piper knew he was terribly turned on. It made more sense to her how he harassed her for Mendez. He had felt her up once before and she had ignored him. Maybe he felt slighted that neither she nor Alex liked his groping hands.

"Go and stay in it. I don't want any lesbian activity on my watch, Chapman." He growled out. Piper looked at him and then down to his crotch. His uniform was just tight enough to show he had already been enjoying the scent of her lovemaking. As she looked up she saw Alex walk by and she followed her down the row with her eyes. Her eyes showed how much she loved that woman and wanted every inch of her.

"Yes Sir, no lesbian activity." she agreed and walked on down the way, turning her head to wink at her lover as she passed her cube.

They didn't read to each other that night, but they did say goodnight over the small walls that seperated them. Piper sat in her bunk and wrote to Alex.

_Dear Alex, _

_I still feel your tongue. I always do...like a brand on my body..I feel it all night or all day. I wanted to fuck you but I couldn't due to time. I love how eating me makes you so damn wet and warm. _

_You made up for all the bad shit this week with the pat downs. I know that someday you will do that with someone else, but tonight it was me and that made me happy. _

_I heart you, _

_Piper_

_ 33 Days_

Alex was late to lunch the next day. Nicky seemed a bit nervous so Piper asked what was going on. Nicky didn't respond, just acted all innocent. Piper was getting really agitated.

"I told her she should tell you. Look, today she does what did she call it...'phase two' of her plan. My job was to eat lunch with you and keep you from storming.." Nicky never got the rest out of her mouth. Piper was up and on her way to bussing her tray. Nicky got up, shoved her sandwich in her mouth and was after Piper.

Piper headed straight for Healy's office. Nicky grabbed her arm and pulled her to a stop. "Let me go Nicky. She can't do it now, she can't risk...nothing...you hear me. I can't take it if she is in the SHU.." Piper began.

"Oh please, like her being in the SHU is all about you. Look, she isn't planning on anything like that. She has it all figured out." Nicky placated.

"Yeah she had it all figured out when I was with her, but she is still here isn't she? We are both here, in prison for crimes we committed and Alex was supposed to cover up. So she isn't perfect. " Piper bit out and then continued towards his office. She stopped when the door opened and Alex was led out of the room by a staggering Healy.

"It's okay, its natural for a girl to feel something..for a man such as myself...it happens all the time.." His words were slurred and Alex reached out to steady him. He came in to hug her it seemed. Right as he did, Figuaro came from out behind the office door next to him and watched.

"Mr. Healy, please I didn't say I had feelings, look, I jsut thanked you, please don't touch...please...Sir." she sounded distraught. "Have you been drinking again Sir?" Alex asked. He fell forward and pressed her against the wall. His hand went to her breasts as he pushed off. Piper lunged but Nicky had a firm hold on her stomach.

"Get the fuck off of her you lousy, good for nothing fuck head!" Piper spouted. Alex stiffened in his grasp and he turned around all disoriented.

"Shut up Chapman. She has seen the error or her ways. She is back on the straight path...is only natural she would want.."he rambled, all teh while still clutching at Alex's breasts.

"I've seen enough. Healy, remove yourself from that prisoner now and get your drunk ass up to my office. Ms. Vause, I will need a statement from you. Bennett, take Vause to holding area. Have her write down everything that happened in this..what was it?" she asked Vause. Healy was trying to straighten his tie and stand straight.

"Lunch meeting, he bought me something to eat...I think he spiked his drink. I didn't drink mine, I was afraid...last time I lost track of time in there.." she began. His eyes bugged out as he listened to her. She seemed small and afraid. Piper stopped struggling.

"He has done this before?" Fig asked.

"Yeah before I went to testify. He said he was counseling me but all he talked about was how I shouldn't like women. I told him I was born this way." she said in a soft voice.

"That's not true, she said she was wrong and coudln't stop thinking about...this is a sit up..I mean a set up, you know me Fig." He tried to reason. Bennett took Vause by the arm. Piper was worried she'd be sent to the SHU during the investigation.

"Where is she going? Please don't punish her because of his actions." Piper pleaded. Fig just looked at them and walked off, with Healy following with staggered steps.

"Don't worry, she didn't say put her in SHU. Alex will be grilled on details, they'll check his cup for booze...and that will be that. Oh..excuse me a moment." Nicky said and she slipped in to his office. Piper just stood there with wide eyes and watched both ways in the hall. Nicky walked out and then started towards the dorms. Two COs walked right by them and in to his office. Piper looked over and Nicky held a small bottle of what looked like vanilla extract. She mouthed "Red" and Piper had to smile. Nicky dropped the bottle in the trash and went on it to the dorm.

Piper went to work after they stopped off by their cubes. She worried about Alex all day. She wasn't back for standing count and Piper was ready to throw up. She was on her way toward the chow hall when Alex emerged. Piper hugged her and then squinted at her in anger.

"It's okay. They totally bought it. He has agreed to retire early and I have agreed not to press charges. He will be out of here by Thursday. It means Kaputo will have to take up his paper work until someone is hired or moved over from Max but he is gone." Alex laughed. Piper just shook her head.

"I want to know how, I mean I know how you got the stuff in his drink...but how was he acting liek that?" Piper asked. Alex just looked at her like, really...you can't figure that out. She crossed her arms and then it hit Piper. She drugged him. Maybe it was one of her own pills or maybe she had got her hands on something illegal but Alex won his trust over enough to eat with him and then she drugged him. It was probably in the same cup Nicky spiked with alcohol from Red's stash. If he didn't want a stain on his record, he would have to take an early retirement.

"You are a fucking evil genius Alex Vause." Piper said with admiration.

"Why thank you, flattery will get you everywhere, now I'm supposed to be upset my counselor pawed me. So act all consoling." she said leaning in closer to Piper. Piper reached out and patted her on the back. They did that and Alex acted so hurt Piper found it adorable. While close at the table Alex whispered, "I told you I'd get that sick fuck for you by the time you left. Think of this as my present, one month of no Healy before you go." Piper smiled at her and looked at Alex with pure love in her eyes.

"I love you." Piper said quietly.

Alex smiled a sad smile, pushed her glasses up and said, "Ditto, Kid."

**Best Present Ever..I hope you enjoyed. Please Review. Peace, FaeCym


	38. Chapter 38 View of A Lake

30 Days

Piper came back from her shower and sat on her bunk to dry her hair. She hadn't seen Alex in the shower and was feeling low. She had to be at work then visitation so she wasn't sure she'd be back before count and had to wear her best uniform to work. She always saved one uniform for visitation, it was a bit different, she looked better in it or at least felt better in it. She went to the hook to get it to get dressed and she saw a small note pinned to it.

She opened it carefully, having flashbacks of Pennsatucky's threats. Her face got brighter as she recognized the familiar handwriting of her love.

_I thought I'd leave you little notes. It is the most mushy thing I've ever attempted. Bare with me if the natural cynic in me shows through. I'm writing this while your bunkmate watches me warily. I really wish she were uglier and didn't sleep in my bed. _

Piper looked over at Stacy and burst out laughing. Her bunkmate perked her eyebrow in inquiry. "Nothing, she said you were watching her. Um I think she may be leaving me notes." Piper whispered low, looking over to the guard room. "It's nothing, but thank you for watching. I know I've been paranoid."

"It's understandable. I read it is like typical when you are short." Stacy said using the vernacular well. Piper hoped she had done enough to get her set up.

"Are you worried about who they will put in here?" Piper asked gently. Stacy gulped and nodded. Piper decided to think on that a bit but to her she said, " she will be a woman who made a mistake, just like us. Just keep to the bunkmate rules ya know, watch out for her like you do me." Piper said with a soft smile. She walked over and put her hand on Stacy's arm. She was gentle and very platonic. Stacy didn't stiffen but she was shocked. Piper remembered what it felt like to have Sophia do her hair and be touched. She was touched all the time by Alex or hugged by friends now.

Stacy put her hand the hand that Piper rested on her arm. " Thank you. You've been very kind and helpful. I wasn't prepared for how much people have helped me. It is at times..overwhelming...plus I see, I see what you are going through. You know people either are intrigued I'm your bunkmate or they feel sorry for me. It seems that...how did Taystee put it, 'you attract drama' but she was more blunt and cursed." Piper laughed and dropped her hand.

"Yeah, I do. We do." Piper replied in a soft voice as she moved to get dressed. Stacy turned around, like she always did when Piper started to disrobe. Before she forgot, Piper put her note in her locker with her box of letters that she was taking with her. She turned around and saw Stacy watching her as she put on her pants. She darted her eyes away. Piper and to stifle a smile.

"I don't get it. I mean I have gay friends, not that I think you're gay. I've seen you with Larry and her. I saw you with him and his friend last week, while I was visiting with my brother." she explained. Piper nodded remembering seeing her in there, but was more focused on Larry and his leg.

"It is confusing. I'd be happy to discuss Polyamor..." Piper began.

"No no..I get it. You love two people, what I don't get it is why that makes you a target to every fuckin' sadist in this place." Stacy said with the most incredulous tone in her voice. Piper sat down to put on her boots and looked up at her. She had never heard Stacy curse before.

"I've asked myself that...a thousand times. Alex has as well. For one thing, you should know, I have this as Larry put it, Foot-In-Mouth-Disease. So some of the stuff that has played out recently..began long ago and I'm at fault. Some of it is, this system...where we aren't people but numbers. Alex and I are real people that love...and not well. It's hard for us but there it is...we are drawn to each other. I tell myself there are good and bad people in each job. I just think this system wears them down, just like us until they become more their base self here." Piper explained. They were looking at one another and when Alex cleared her throat.

"Want to walk together to breakfast?" she offered quietly. Piper looked over and smiled at her. Her face lit up and shone.

"Yes I do. Thank you by the way and I wouldn't believe it was from you if it wasn't somewhat cynical at times. I mean why ruin a schtick you got going." Piper teased as she walked out of her cube. She stopped and turned back. "Are you coming Stace?"she said. Alex stiffened and Piper looked at her.

"I think I make her nervous." Alex drawled. Stacy came out and walked up beside her. Alex peered at her.

"You just don't like me because I get the free skin show from your girlfriend daily. I understand that. I bet Larry hates my guts too." Stacy shrugged and walked on and Piper followed laughing. Alex rolled her eyes and used her long legs to stride her way beside Piper. It was a good walk as no one was patted down. They passed by Healy's empty office and Piper couldn't help but grin. Breakfast had fruit which made Piper happy. Her lunch table welcomed Stacy. She knew Yoga Jones already as she had been attending those classes with Piper. Piper picked at her eggs trying to determine if they were powder. Sh_e_ was about to decide to eat only the fruit when Alex made a face.

"You're the one that still could use to gain a few pounds after your Chicago diet trip." Piper teased. She could now. They could crack some jokes and talk about the horrors. Piper had cried twice at night over some of the things she said, but she didn't tell Alex that. Piper tried to keep her mind off of who will make sure Alex was eating when she left. Stacy said something that made Nicky laugh. Piper smiled and knew that her friends would see Stacy through the rest of her sentence.

They all went to work and it was a very boring day in the electric shack. He wanted them to do inventory. It was tedious and basically meant cleaning the damn hot shop. Piper was in the cage to count tools. She was pissed until she realized he just wanted someone he thought would do it right the first time.

She was happy to be freed from the cage at lunch. She went to the phones right before going in and called Larry to check on him. He was fine and said he wasn't going to use a pain pill that day. He was taking it easy. He had that tone in his voice he gets when he is writing and his mind is in two places. She enjoyed teasing him away from his work. She asked him to take it easy and please eat something green. She was worried with Pete helping out that Larry would eat like a pig. She knew Polly was overrun with Finn so she had planned on calling Cal to help. He wasn't always the best judge of what to eat but he would go to the store and make Larry a salad at least. It was nice worrying about everyday things, it made her think about what she could do when she was there in two months time. She really wished she was there to take care of him like he has always taken care of her.

"I'll see you soon." Piper said. He was quiet a moment and then replied he'd be there next Friday. He didn't elaborate with her or speak about the half way house. He was being kind again. Piper got off the phone and went through the lunch line. She tried to smile at the people on the line but she couldn't. It was a soy burger and fries today. The girls were griping about not ketchup. Piper sat down and waited for Alex. She wondered if she'd ever be able to repay Larry. They'd been together for almost six years now. She was worried about what to tell him. She went back and forth. Should she tell him it is too hard, she has to at least write Alex? She just couldn't help but remember the radio show...the phone calls before Christmas. He was hateful and indifferent. What if he pretended to be okay and then turned her in for probation violation? Her mind told her he wouldn't do that but her heart was afraid.

It wasn't her freedom that she was afraid of losing. It was Alex. If she was put back in, there was no guarantee she'd be put back in Litchfield. It always came down to the fact she could not risk Alex. She was almost convinced Alex would risk a call. One call was all she needed to get her to do it more. Piper knew she could. Alex sat down laughing as Nicky joined her.

"I swear, I found a porn mag, it was one of those sicko speciality things it was like gigantic boobs. I swear. One chick.." Nicky was showing with her hands out like a foot in front of her chest.

"That thing you found while cleaning behind his office shelf?" Piper began. It was very funny. Nicky shoved it up her shirt. She hid it in a box they were going to throw out after lunch. She just knew Nicky would find some way to get those pictures circulated.

"You avoid it...and Piper if you bring it out." Alex was livid. Piper heard her tone and put her hand out to touch her arm.

"Hey hey, really, Pipes and I talked about it. She is walking alone today...actually she may go running after work." Nicky explained. She reached out and put her hand on Alex's and to get her to look her in the eye. "I wont let anything happen." she assured her. Piper felt her stomach twist. She stood quickly and walked her tray to the trash. She dumped it and was out the door in a shot. She went back to the shack early. She walked in on Luschek eating his sandwich.

He wasn't pleased to see her. "Forget something Chapman?"he asked as he put down his food. She stopped.

"Uh, no..I wasn't hungry. I'll sit outside and wait till the hour is up." Piper said turning to walk out. Luschek let her go but once she was sitting outside he came out and sat beside her. He was still eating. She felt odd sitting there with him but she was kinda stuck.

"It's hard getting out from what I've seen. However, you got a good place to go, so I don't think you'll be returning. I can't say I'll hate to see you go...but people get screwy...easy to piss off right before their time is up. So, I think maybe you are going to have to work in the well house for the next few weeks." He said. Piper glared.

"We cleaned out the well house. It is.." Piper reminded him. It had been terrible work. She was hurting from her beating and it had sucked.

"No not that one, the old one." Luschek explained. Piper's eyes got big. That wasn't the old one? Great, now the girls would be pissed at her for getting.

Wait. "You mean by myself?" Piper asked. He shook his head. "No, you will still have to drive bulbs around and stuff. You and Jenkins will work the well house. No rush. It should take you about a month." Piper looked at him. A month, no chance of getting pissed at Nicky or going off on him. "I'll show you where it is after I finish my lunch and Jenkins gets back." He said then he rose and went back inside. Piper didn't know whether to thank him or curse him.

Luschek kept to his word and after they got back she went out with him and Jenkins. Nicky looked worried but didn't say anything. He drove this time, which made Piper uneasy. He looked over and sensed she was tense. He frowned a bit but didn't say anything. Jenkins just sat back relaxed in her chair going wherever the van led her. He pulled out through a gate Piper had never ventured through. She was never sure if it was still Campus so she didn't got that way. They drove for five minutes or so. Piper was amazed at how nothing was around. Then she saw it. A beautiful lake on the back end of the Campus. It was gorgeous and she sat up grinning. She looked at it like it was heaven.

"Jenkins, look look...a lake." she squealed. She looked at Piper like she was insane. Luschek however, laughed with her. He pulled up to an old house. It was run down and Piper knew why it was old...it was the original pump house closer to the lake. He opened it up. It had crap in it but mainly there were rolls of wire stored.

"You can sort this and do inventory. Clean up the building some..um..store this back in here and keep it locked when you aren't working." Piper nodded. She knew wire, especially if it were copper, could be stolen and sold. "You can start tomorrow. If you work through lunch, you can bring the van back at 3 and knock off." He offered. Piper looked at Jenkins and they seemed to be considering it. Lunch was a good social time but having free time from work when others were busy was nice as well. Piper figured they'd talk about it as they ran today. She couldn't believe she was going to get to spend time by a lake. There was a fence up between the shore and the house. She couldn't go swimming. But she could look at it. She was in a much more chipper mood when they came back. He walked in and got them all busy again doing inventory.

After work, she ran with Jenkins. She said they'd break for lunch this week and maybe try an early day or two next week. Piper wanted to make sure they ran each day and Jenkins was up for it. Piper thought maybe she was going to miss her a bit but she knew she'd never say.

"That sure is a pretty lake. I mean I didn't freak like you, but it is pretty. Maybe we will see some ducks." she said with hope. Piper wondered what type of ducks are there that time of year. Jenkins just shook her head and said, " The kind that Quack. Anyways, we're even. I get a month by the lake, working with no Luschek and I know it is because he wants you out of his hair your last month." Piper nodded and grinned. She then tried to speed up, just to get Jenkins to kick it in to that track star gear she has and blow Piper back. Watching her run was like watching wild horses on a plain. She was fluid and a part of the world around her. It was as beautiful as the lake.

She told Alex about the lake and how she would be missing some lunches the next week when she came in from her run. Alex was waiting in her cube for Piper. Alex just nodded her head slowly, amused at her reaction to the lake and not happy that she is skipping meals. "I'll see if I can pack something, like pretzels or boiled eggs. I'm not saying I'll starve. I'll get to knock off early and maybe can even come visit you." she suggested.

This seemed to perk Alex up some. "Not in restricted out of bounds way..we wont take the chance, but I'll deliver some towels." Piper grinned her response. She was sweaty and wanted to shower before last count. She went to get her things and saw Stacy on her bunk, reading a letter. Piper thought for a moment that she had missed mail call. Then she saw it was prison notepad paper. Stacy folded up the letter and looked up at the ceiling perplexed.

"Um..wanna share?" Piper offered as she got her towels and bag.

"I have a secret admirer. Likes Shakespeare apparently and straight girls. Any ideas?" Stacy asked. Piper opened her mouth, then closed it.

"None." she said and she walked out to go take her shower.

That night, Alex read to her and finished the book. They talked about it awhile. Piper wondered what to read next.

"I have an idea. I'll bring it tomorrow. A surprise. Goodnight, kid." she said as she peeked up over the edge of the small wall to see where the guards were. Fischer had her back to her, so she kissed Piper quickly. Piper giggled and pulled her cover up. "Goodnight Stacy, do you want a kiss too?" Alex teased.

Stacy squinted at her. "You wish, Vause." she replied. Piper laughed as Alex left. Lights were out a few minutes later and she turned on her lamp to write.

_Today I saw the lake and my first thought was, " I want to show Alex". _

_It took me nearly two years after we broke up to stop doing that. I don't think I'll ever stop now. _

_Thank you for reading to me at night. It makes me feel better. _

_I wonder what you'll read tomorrow. _

_I heart you. _

_P_


	39. Chapter 39 Beautiful

23 Days

That weekend, Roger, Polly and Larry were all in the visitation room at the same time. Piper talked with Polly about Finn and watched Larry as he watched Alex. He was grumpy and she could tell his leg was really hurting after the ride. Polly assured her she'd make him take a pill before they headed back. Roger turned and looked over at Piper. He didn't speak out to her but he did smile kindly.

"That's Roger isn't it?" Larry said. Piper leaned forward and got his attention.

"He is her visitor. I want to hear about the editor's job offer. Which online magazine is it?" she prompted. Soon he was focused on the job, the perks he would be given, working from home or an uptown office...it sounded amazing.

"It isn't writing though, how do you feel?" Piper asked him earnestly. She looked at him with an open gaze. She would be his sounding board. Slowly he opened up. Polly sat quietly and listened. He told her that he was amazed at how interesting the job was and how much he actually did write. She asked him the hard questions and he answered them. She could tell he'd made up his mind.

"Whatever you decide is best, hon. I think it is a good idea and you can still write. Just means you gotta work it in at night..weekends..not just when the words fill you." she said to him in a clear voice. He nodded and smiled. He seemed to relax completely. It always helped to talk it out. Alex stood up and hugged Roger. He seemed a bit surprised but made his way to leave. Piper watched him go when Polly teased Larry for worrying too much.

Piper had enjoyed her time with them and went outside to run when her time was done. She took her radio, she had just got it in the last few weeks. They had been out of them for a long while. She found a local station, a college station that played a mix of classic and modern music. She liked it because it played songs from when she and Alex were together, plus ones that made her think of Larry. It wasn't fast at times, but always thought provoking. She heard an acoustic version on _Stay _by Rihanna come on and nearly cut it off. She just tried to follow the beat and not concentrate too much on the words. As she ran around the track she saw Alex standing by the tree in the yard.

She walked off the track and over to Alex. She listened to the music as she walked over to her. She could see by her posture that something was hurting Alex. She stopped and looked at her standing about five feet from her. She took the earbuds out and swallowed.

"I can go back to running if you want me to.."Piper began. Alex shook her head and just looked at Piper. She was quiet and her eyes were dancing with emotion. Piper just stood there, sweating in the afternoon sun.

"I tried to focus on Roger. I listened to him tell me about this new guy he is dating. Yet I watched you with Larry. I heard you talk him through his job...plan and talk about his dreams like they were yours." Alex swallowed and took a haggard breath, as if she had to remind herself to breathe or just drawing the breath hurt.

Piper walked closer to her. Alex didn't move back but she adjusted her Glasses and looked away. Piper tried to get her to look up but finally just said, " You're scaring me a little, baby. I tell you what, just ...let's work together not to be in the visitation room like that again."Piper tried...she tried to make it so Alex didn't have to look so scared.

Alex walked over towards the fence. She stared up at the wire. Piper followed and moved closer to her. "I just wasn't prepared to see you with him. I mean I have, but I don't know, I guess it was how you just said what he needed to hear, but was honest." Alex said, wiping her cheek. Piper looked down and nodded a bit.

"Well, we've been together a long time. We click. He wanted that job for lots of other reasons and he will eventually just go back to writing. Yet I think it is important to him to hold a job for while. He works hard but hasn't actually had to...if you know what I mean." Piper laughed. Alex knew Piper had been raised with money, but she also knew she hadn't taken a penny from her parents since she graduated from Smith. Piper worked for her a living. She wasn't above getting help from Larry's parents though. Or maybe that was before, she wasn't sure. Either way, Larry working was a good thing for them. Piper wasn't sure how she was going to handle having his companionship back. She wasn't used to unguarded affection.

Alex looked up and watched a hawk fly over. Piper watched her face and said softly, "You are more beautiful now than you were when we met."

Alex smiled and sho_ok her head. " Oh yes, taupe uniforms, bad mascara a_nd red eyes. I'm sappy, mushy and an envious bitch." Piper leaned in to her and caught her eyes. She stood and stared in to them until they both got quiet. The wind blew softly across the grass and Piper willed time to come to a complete stand still. She imagined the lake and Alex standing on the shore.

After a good long while Piper said, "You've never looked more beautiful to me." Alex took a sharp breath and exhaled slowly.

"Fuck me Piper Chapman, I'm going to be torn to fucking shreds by you all over again...and I can't help it. I can't stop it. I don't want to stop it." Alex breathed as she reached up and tucked some of Piper's damp locks behind her ear. "Now go finish your run, I like watching you. I'll be here waiting." Piper put her ear buds in and walked back towards the track. She saw Jenkins stretching. She thought about what Alex said...and she knew it all to be the truth. She understood how Alex felt watching her with Larry. Well, almost...Alex had Nicky and that made her stomach twist...she could have anyone, but she wasn't with someone like Piper was with Larry. As she ran, she heard _See Beneath Your Beautiful _by Labrinth. She had to turn off the radio sometimes music just couldn't be taken on a sore heart.

Later that night, Piper found a note from Alex. She had one each day, sometimes they said something like " I couldn't stop looking at your ass in the chow line"...one was a tirade about idiot meth heads and laundry that was rather funny. Some were simple and amazing.

_I breathe today and feel you in my bones. You are an involuntary action that is crucial to me. _

Alex started reading _Kushiel's Dart _by Jacqueline Carey. Piper's eyes brightened. This was the fantasy book they read together that night in Berlin. She was touched and thrilled she was going to read it. "I figured we've both read it. So.." Alex said. Piper was surprised and blinked her disbelief. "This is my copy." Alex said with a blush. She read and all the words, so French in origin, rolled off her tongue with ease.

**Piper couldn't help but remember Paris. She had asked to go to Paris for her birthday their last year together. She had also asked that Alex make her something for her birthday, not buy. It was hard to turn down goodies in Paris, but she wanted her time more than anything. Poor Alex had worked all afternoon on the terrace of their hotel suite. She had tried to make her a perfect flower bracelet. It was lovely, but it fell to pieces when she tried to put it on. Piper had loved it and kept each flower. She set them to press in a book she brought with her. **

**She and Alex had walked around Paris most of the day and now they walked it at night. Her cell phone was turned off and Piper was loving it. Piper took calls from her family and Polly. Alex had even wished Polly the best over the phone. They stopped before the Eiffel Tower and as cliche' as it was, they kissed. **

**"Is this a good enough birthday, kid? I feel like I should at least buy you a necklace or something." Alex had begun. She was a very generous lover but that wasn't what Piper wanted. She shook her head and looked at her with open adoration. **

**"I wanted your time. You've given it to me. You've brought me here to Paris, the room is fantastic, the walking is grand...the company better. I am perfectly happy. I know you are going to do business tomorrow. I know you are on this trip, with this day off because you are going to do business here...not just my birthday." Piper said in response. Alex looked down, guilty. She had thought she kept the business from Piper. Sometimes, Alex forgets Piper is in the room when she is on her phone. **

**Alex started to explain again that she wanted to give Piper the best and that meant work, but Piper put her finger on Alex's lips. "I know all that but I also know you arranged it so you could give me what I wanted. I know you love me Alex, that is all I need for my birthday." Piper then kissed her again, with hunger and passion. Soon, Alex was inside her jacket, pulling her close. Piper heard the French equivalent of " get a room" and laughed pulling back. They practically ran back to their hotel room. **

That week Piper missed Lunch a few days and worked through it with Jenkins. They had most of the crap out of the shed and were starting to clean. The spent some time, cooling off in the grass,looking at the lake. Piper would write some and read letters. It was very relaxing. On her early days, she went to run. She liked this because she got to spend each minute she could with Alex when she was done with work. They pretended to play cards and got caught a couple to times sitting too close and holding hands. Piper could tell which guards would care and which wouldn't. It was just a matter of remembering who was around you.

One day she asked Alex, "You aren't the one fucking with Stacy are you? I mean she is getting love letters...secret admirer stuff. It is freaking her out, the girl is straight." Piper asked.

Alex snorted, "Straight as you are. She checks you out too much to be straight, don't act like you haven't seen it." Alex countered. Piper noticed she didn't answer the question.

"She is straight and she adverts her eyes most of the time. It is hard when I'm like the only person that even gives her a pat on the shoulder. We forget, because we have each other how a body gets lonely for touch." Piper said back to her, in a low sexy voice. Alex leaned in and smiled.

"I'd feel better if you'd not discuss her loneliness in that voice," she drawled back.

"Answer the question then, please. Are you messing with Stacy?" Piper counted, leaning back from her and crossing her arms in her stubborn way.

"Nope, though I wish I'd thought of it." Alex admitted. Piper believed her. That could only mean one thing. Piper sighed. She felt bad but she wasn't going to tell Stacy. She didn't want to rock that boat. She and Suz were getting along better now. She didn't turn away from Piper nor did she look at her like she was evil. She didn't share that with Alex and she respected Piper's need to think on it awhile. They spent fifteen minutes together in the Chapel after dinner. Piper had finally managed to get Alex's pants off and her sex under her mouth. Alex had made a keening noise that thrilled and scared Piper. She had to reach up and try to cover her mouth. Usually, it was Piper that had to be silenced. Piper felt her body spasm just so and darted her head up to look around the dark room. She listened over Alex's panting for any sound. It was quiet enough she kissed Alex senseless.

Alex cuddled her tight and said softly, "Did you date any women after me?" Piper made a face. Alex rarely asked her about that time.

"Yes a few, nothing stuck though. None lasted more than a few weeks. Guys too, until Larry. I didn't though for nearly two years." she explained. Alex raised her head and looked at her surprised. "You weren't the only one that had to pick herself up Alex. You went from being the center of my world to gone." Her voice broke and she bit back a sob. Just like that, Alex was comforting her. It was going to be the same pain again. Alex didn't speak but they cleaned up and walked out. Piper went to wash her face and they staggered their arrival. Piper was patted down by Walsh as she exited the bathroom. He squeezed both of her breasts and she had to bite her lip. She shook with rage but was allowed to walk on to her dorm.

That night she wrote to Alex in her journal again. She hadn't written her all week. She was thinking it was a good sign. Now it felt like a pressure valve releasing.

_Dear Alex, _

_If I keep bursting in to tears each time we are intimate, you are going to stop. I don't mean to...I just can't help it. In less than a month I will not see you each day..I keep telling myself that...hoping it will sink in. _

_I'll let you know if it does. I keep having these realizations and I think stupid shit, like ...what if we get caught and I lose my date? I know. I'm not supposed to think these things. I'm actually glad Luschek gave me that job out by the lake. It keeps me centered and away for part of the day. _

_At night though, I worry and ache for you. I will always worry and ache for you. I will be in the city, at four in the morning, jerking awake and hoping I'm in your arms. _

_P_

_**Yes one week has passed. That will be the norm for the next bit. I do promise, that time on the outside will(if she gets there) go faster than it does on the inside. Seems appropriate :) I listen to different songs when I write and I promised a reader to put some in the story. I'm making a play list as well. Oh Piper Kerman's Book __Orange is the New Black: My Year in a Woman's Prison__ is #2 on NYTimes Best Seller List. ! Please Review. Peace, Faecym_


	40. Chapter 40 How Do I Love Thee

16 Days

That week Piper started to have dreams again. She would wake up in the middle of the night covered in sweat. A few times she called out but mainly she awoke with terror in her throat. The dream was always the same, she couldn't find Alex. She searched and searched for her around the prison and she wasn't there.

It fucking sucked. Piper decided to eat lunch with Alex all week. She was thrilled to see her at the table. It wasn't alone time but they did enjoy socializing. Walsh came over and made Alex move her seat, saying they were too close. Other guards looked at him like he was a prick. It made Piper smile. She spent time on the phone with Larry mid week, arranging that he not come when Alex was due a visitor. He didn't know her reasons for changing things up, he just went with it.

"Okay I can send you some clothes now too, to wear out. What do you need? I know your legs are more buff now..your ass is amazing." He said with pride. Piper blushed. She told him a pair of not too tight jeans and one of her favorite Tee shirts from Smith. She didn't want to dress up but she did insist on her Tevas. "I can pack a bag for the half way house too. They will go through it, but you need like work clothes. Polly is going to come pack that one, she said she didn't trust me to hobble it out right."

"How are you doing with your leg?" Piper asked now that the opportunity was there.

"It fucking itches. I got a hanger all ready to go and Polly took it, said I could scratch myself and get an infection. I told her I didn't it is okay, Pete will find it."He said with confidence. Piper sighed. Her friends were taking care of him and that made Piper happy. Larry told her that her mother gave him more money. He told her she'd done it before but he didn't tell her because he didn't want Piper to refuse it. She thought about it and told him she'd get him three or four numbers and he was to divide up the money in to those accounts. She told him that Alex wasn't one of them and he seemed more willing to do it. She hung up and went back to her cu There was time until dinner and Piper had to send her last letters out, telling people when they should stop writing. It was hard because she was scared. The closer it got to the date the more scared she became.

Alex was heaven though. She told Piper about her dreams, about Piper being free and working...enjoying her life. She told Piper it was what was getting her through and it made Piper feel safe. She sat on Alex's bunk, listening to her read the book anytime they had free. Alex left her little love notes all that week. It was really sweet.

One read, "_How do I love thee? Let me count the ways..1. You always look like you just walked out of a magazine, even in prison. 2. You have a book reference for every situation, even when the people you are telling it to would rather break your face than listen. 3. You are sweet to people when you should be hard and hard to people trying to be sweet._ "

She wrote more throughout the week. It made Piper blush each time, especially when she wrote about the things Piper does with her tongue. She and Piper had managed to be alone twice that week. One time they just held each other. It was easier in some ways than trying to do more. Piper craved it, she would have wanted Alex inside of her daily if she could arrange it. She felt like if she could, she'd crawl up inside of her and stay until they were both free from the sins of their past. But she couldn't do that.

Nicky was happy again because Morello wrote her. Piper asked her if she told Morello about Sasha. Nicky looked at her like she had grown a new head. "Uh no, she knows how I am...I know she probably has a dick on the side. I don't wanna know about it." Nicky explained, going back to her card game.

Piper wasn't sure that was healthy. She looked over to Alex though and she seemed to agree with Nicky. Alex didn't want to know what Piper and Larry did on the outside, so why would Nicky be any different? It struck her again how alike they are. She tried to decide if she wanted to know if Alex was sleeping with anyone while she was gone. It made her stomach knot. Maybe they had the right idea, ignorance was bliss.

Her counselor wanted her to check in with him every other day. He asked her about her work assignment and for the first time she had something good to say about Luschek. He told her that Luschek's reports on her work were excellent. She was a bit surprised but thankful. He told her that some of the paperwork from Healy, focused on negative behaviors. He was reworking some of them he said...and she just nodded, not sure what that meant. They hired another counselor. It was a female this time. She transferred from a prison in Connecticut. Alex liked her enough. She was older and not Alex's type, which was somehow a relief to Piper. She saw Alex after she returned from Fig's office. She joined her walking down the hall.

"So you met with Fig?" she began. Alex looked at her and then around to see if anyone was listening. They stopped in front of the stairwell.

"Yeah she is checking on how I'm doing with the new counselor. She was making sure I am not going to press charges against Healy. I told her I just want to do my time in peace. It's cool, she feels like she is all kind and shit." Alex shrugged and walked on. Piper grabbed her hand and made her stop.

"What aren't you telling me?" she said, squinting her eyes at Alex's face. Alex looked at her and shook her head.

"Nothing. What you think you can read me like I read you now, Chapman?" she teased. Piper didn't smile. She remembered how Alex practically purred when she first saw Fig. She also knew that Fig had helped Alex get rid of Healy, they had worked together on that.

"Are you fucking her?" Piper asked through clenched teeth. She saw the surprise on Alex's face and then the attempt she made to cover it. Piper stalked off totally pissed off. Alex tried to chase after her but Dawson stopped her and then had Piper stop for a pat down. Alex watched him with such hatred in her gaze that Piper had to look away. When he was done, he told Piper to get to her bunk and Alex to go to the rec room. Piper was happy for once to have a chance to avoid her.

Later that night, Alex came over with her book. "Fuck no, Alex. Go read to her." Piper growled out. Alex didn't listen and sat on her bunk. Stacy got the hint and left. Piper wasn't sure where she went.

"Listen, it isn't anything. Come on...she is attracted and I play it up. She has the power to fuck us both over Piper. Besides, it really was about my new counselor, she isn't going to risk whatever she has going here by getting caught with an inmate. Please Piper, don't let this ruin our time left together." Alex pleaded in a small voice. It was so unlike her that Piper looked over at her. She was sitting, cradling the book in her lap. Piper sighed. She knew Alex had very little choice in the matter.

Piper sat on the bunk and told her, "I don't want to know any details of your sex life when we write. I...think maybe Nicky has the right idea." Alex nodded and opened the book. They were okay again, it was so tender, so fragile..their time together. She didn't want to risk anything else. She just listened to Alex read. Stacy returned and sat on her bunk listening as well.

That night, Piper wrote in her journal again. She started to cry as soon as she started to write.

_Dear Alex, _

_You sleep a few cubes from me. I want so much to go curl up in your arms. I hate that you flirt with..maybe kiss F. I hate that someone in that position uses their power for that. It makes me sick. I know you think she is sexy. What pisses me off more than anything, is she is free. She gets to go home and you have to sleep in that small bunk...eat this shitty food...live behind that razor wire fence. It isn't fair, it is just as bad as what happened to me in the garage. _

_I hate it and I don't think I can stand knowing about it when I'm out. _

_And that makes me feel like a coward. _

_I heart you, _

_P_

That night she had another dream. It must have gotten loud because Stacy was up and shaking her awake. Piper heard other people mumbling to keep quiet. She heard foot steps and the guard speaking to someone. Then Alex was at her side...Stacy went back to her bunk and Piper rubbed her eyes.

"No go back to sleep, just shhh...just a bad dream. They'll all go away soon. Close your eyes." Alex coaxed. Piper did and felt herself relax. She wanted Alex in her bed but she knew the guard, Gregory, was watching. Alex played with her hair softly until she fell to sleep.

The next day she had a visitor. She came back from the Lake job a bit early and Luschek let her knock off. She met with Larry and his dad. He had information about the house and details about what they could or couldn't do on the way there.

"You have limited custody of her. No cell phone, though you could probably call your mom on Larry's phone. You can stop to eat something but really need to head straight there. The curfew is 10PM so you have to get there by that time. If anything happens, flat tire, accident..whatever, call them immediately and they'll send a sherrif's car to get her." He explained. Larry didn't like that idea. His dad was worried about another accident and Piper was sure he had lectured Larry about how to drive all the way to the prison. Larry looked as upset as she would have if she'd ridden for hours with her mom in a car. She reached out and patted his hand before pulling her hands back to their resting place on the table.

"We will drive right there. I will get out on a Tuesday. When do I start work?" Piper asked. He explained she would start when the halfway house set it up...that she had to get used to the new rules and most likely it would be the following Monday. She would be working for a production company, their friend was CEO. He had joined the "Work for Success" program and Piper would be his first convict hired. She was very thankful. She hugged Larry and his dad goodbye, then went in for the strip search. Bell took her time again with Piper but her heart didn't really seem in it. She seemed down. Piper wondered if she had a fight with O'Neil. She made a mental note to ask Alex if she'd seen his underwear in Bell's laundry lately.

She watched Larry from the window and waved. As soon as he went on, Alex came up behind her and put her arm around her waist. Piper looked around and saw they were surrounded by inmates, so she leaned back in to her hug.

"Good visit?" she asked. Piper nodded.

"We talked about the trip to the halfway house...when I start work, etc. It was good, I'm less nervous now." she said to reassure Alex.

"Think the nightmares will stop?" Alex asked gently. Piper turned in her arms and looked at her. She shrugged and gave Alex a small smile.

"I think those are part my reality now, though I'll try to keep it quiet." Piper said as she walked off back to the dorm. Alex followed a few steps behind her. Piper didn't turn, she just walked back to her cube and felt secure Alex was there.

***** Each post is about the time over the week that has past...so the days reflect what is left when the post is done. Just to show corruption at Danbury-where Litchfield is based on- check out this article: . Please Review: I will post more when I get reviews. Peace, Faecym


	41. Chapter 41 Too Far From Your Heart

7 days

Piper didn't sleep any better. She also started to wake up and check through her locker and cube each morning. Stacy would get up and help her. Piper apologized but she just couldn't take the chance on someone fucking up her out time. She didn't mention Fig again to Alex but she noted that Alex went to see her again on Tuesday.

Piper was afraid to ask Nicky. She didn't want Alex to be treated like a snitch. When she came back Piper just looked at her and then went through the chow line. Once they were all eating, she talked with Boo and Yoga Jones. Alex pressed her foot against Piper's under the table and Piper looked over at her. Alex smiled a sweet smile, one full of hope. Piper sighed and tried to smile back.

"You watch yourself in those halfway houses Chapman. There are rules but many girls get around them. Drugs are easy enough to get, so avoid them and don't let anyone give you anything to hold." Boo said as a warning. Piper looked over confused, not sure how they had gotten on half way houses.

"You've been in one?" Piper asked.

Boo nodded, "My first time down, I was in one when I got out. It was in Brooklyn too but it was closed down. Was a shit hole, in the basement of a bigger building. No help really, just a place to sleep and a curfew. As you can see, it did a great job rehabilitating me." She snorted and they all laughed. Piper hoped her place was better than that and was reasonably assured it was. Polly and Larry had gone by and talked with people there. Again, Piper was amazed at her luck, but didn't brag.

They were walking back to work when Alex leaned close and said, " We just talked. She was checking on me...and on how you were doing. I think she'll be happy when you are gone. One less inmate with a writer husband. She asked me why you didn't go through with the wedding. I told her you got sick and decided to wait." Piper frowned.

"We aren't engaged anymore. He broke it off and I haven't said I'd marry him." Piper responded. Alex looked at her with a knowing gaze.

"Yeah well I asked you not too...that will change on the.." Alex started but Piper growled out a frustrated sound that made her stop.

"You don't know shit, Vause. You can only guess what will change and what will not change when I'm out. It is all just a fucking guess, no matter how much people try to prep us for it, we don't know. You don't know what will happen. It is a big fucking mystery." Piper said and then she stomped off to work. She drove a bit fast down to the lake. Jenkins was holding on to the side of the Van.

"Hey, this is supposed to be your Zen place, chill out Chapman." Jenkins offered. Piper sighed and looked out the windshield to the lake. They had to go get Luschek in an hour to inspect their work. She wasn't worried as they had the whole building cleaned out and all of the inventory about finished. She hoped he'd let them keep working there. They tidied up the wire and then they laid out the inventory on the Van hood to make sure he could read it. Piper erased different marks and hoped it would be good enough.

She went to get him and drove considerably slower back. It wasn't as weird in the van with him the second time. When they came around the bend, he said, "What Chapman? No exclamations of awe at the beauty? Has your time by the lake made you immune to it?"

She put the van in park and looked out over the lake. "No Sir, not at all. I think sometimes the only way I make it through the day is that view." She didn't say thank you to him because they both knew he owed her that and a lot more. He inspected the building in and outside. Piper was worried that maybe he would say she did a bad job and maybe fuck up her paperwork.

"Good work you two, it is hardly recognizable. However, I think until Chapman leaves, you guys should work on the outside. I'll get some paint and you can slap on a coat or two. Also, maybe a few flowers would look good over here by the parking crosstie." he ventured. Piper blinked at the praise and his creating more work for them to last the next week. Jenkins suggested a place with more shade for the flowers and he told her to decide. They drove him back in good spirits and Piper felt a bit of hope.

She got back in her cube and found one of Alex's notes in her shower bag.

"Once again love drives me on, that loosener of limbs, bittersweet creature against which nothing can be done." Piper please know that I do what I have to do but it is always love for you that drives me on.

Piper looked over the quote. It took her a bit then she smiled. Later, when they were playing scrabble in the rec room, she looked up at Alex and marveled at how she bit her lip when she was trying to place the tiles. "Sappho, eh? Did you get a new book?" Piper teased. Alex never shared her love of poetry and Piper was really touched by the quote.

"Of course, my girl would recognize an obscure quote from a dead Greek poet." Alex said back shaking her head and spelling ou for way too many points.

"Not just any Greek Poet and you know that.." she started to give her a history lesson but stopped. Alex had that look in her face that said she'd listen but in reality she'd just be thinking of how to make Piper lose all her words. It was Alex's favorite thing to do when they were together before. If Piper was going on and on about something that Alex could care less about, she'd start kissing her up her neck..and suck at her flesh until Piper lost all words. Just thinking about it now made Piper's body flush with lust. It had been two days since Alex made her cum. She wanted to return the favor.

"Stop looking at me like that, Pipes. I have the late shift with the dryers tonight. I'll see you before lights out though to read." Alex said in her husky voice. Piper tried not to pout and just didn't succeed. Alex reached out and held her hand. She used the board to cover it. Piper looked at her for a long time. Alex just stroked her hand softly while they got lost in each other's eyes again.

Taystee walked up and looked at them. She clucked her tongue and said, "If you two are done staring holes in each other's head, I'd like to play some scrabble before my show starts." Piper blushed and let go of Alex's hand.

"She won anyway. Here you go." Piper said. Alex smiled and rose to go. Piper looked up a bit lost.

"I gotta head down for that shift. I'll see you soon." Alex promised and off she went. Piper took this time to write more letters. She checked her room again, top to bottom first, then started to finish up her correspondence. She was happy a few hours later when she saw Alex walk in the dorm. She waved and mumbled something about not reading tonight. Piper shot up and out of her cube over to Alex's bunk. Her roommate, a girl named Tonya who worked in the kitchen, left the alone but warned it was soon lights out. Alex kept her back to Piper and started to get undressed.

"What's wrong?" Piper asked.

Alex shrugged, "I'm just tired. Go on back before lights out." Piper stood and took her by the arm, turning her around to face her. Alex kept her head down and her hair fell in to her face. Piper lifted her chin and saw that her lip was swollen.

"I walked in to a dryer door." she said before Piper could ask. Piper was furious. She knew that was a lie. She turned and went over to Boo's cube. She spoke with her and returned with a piece of ice in a sock. She held it up to Alex's lip.

"The truth...are you hurt anywhere else?" Piper said, trying to keep her voice calm and not draw more attention to Alex. It was hard though and her hands were shaking. Alex held her hand to keep it steady, pressing the ice to her swollen lip.

"No, I only ran in to it with my face. Look, it is nothing, I just don't want to make it more sore by reading tonight. I'm good. Don't worry too much, it is too far from my heart to kill me." she joked. She once told her that her mom used to say things like that to her.

**Piper remembered when she stepped on that jelly fish. It stung so bad and Alex had to help her walk down the beach to the hotel to get help. Piper was in a lot of pain and Alex had made a lame joke about how it was too far from her heart to kill her. She told her that was her mom's response to any mishap. Break a leg...too far to kill ya...cut your hand...too far from your heart. It made Piper laugh imagining an accident prone Alex yelling at her mother to shut up with the folksy humor. Alex had been so sweet when she was treated. It had ruined their time at the beach, but Piper didn't mind so much because Alex had made it alright.**

Alex always tried to make it alright.

That night Piper had a terrible nightmare and woke up choking with fear. She snuck out of her cube and down to Alex. She was sleeping on her stomach and her arm was hanging off her bunk. Piper crouched down and watched her sleep for a good long while before she snuck back to her bunk.

She was surprised when Stacy murmured, "Can you fall back to sleep now you've seen her?" Piper sighed and looked over at her sleepy bunkmate

"I hope so," was all she said before she resigned herself to a sleepless night.

**well this should do it. 100k + words. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this story. I can't believe how much I've written. Now I know I've two plays I've not touched in days but I feel great just writing this story for you. Fans of OITNB are amazing, multicultural and very caring. Please Review and I'll keep on writing. We are at the last week she is supposed to be at Litchfield. Peace, Faecym****


	42. Chapter 42 Lord Byron Makes Her Cry

Tuesday

Piper was surprised by Alex in the shower early in the morning. They had been so careful, Piper was scared when she appeared in her stall. That didn't keep her from looking at her body or pulling her under the water as she said, "You're gonna get us shot." Alex kissed her under the water.

"Nicky is watching one door and Boo the other. They said it would be our present this week." Alex answered as she washed Piper under the water. Piper loved it when she did that. She loved her friends as well for watching for them. Alex was all about pleasing Piper but washed her body as well, then dropped to her knees.

"My present...my breakfast." she said looking up and closing her eyes to the onslaught of water.

She moved her head forward and Alex rested against the wall, as Piper lifted her leg rest on her shoulder. She delved in to Alex, enjoying the musky scent of her desire. Alex was already thick with need having just washed Piper's body. Alex moaned and clutched to the top of the stall. Piper used her tongue in long strokes, then delved in to flicking her clit the way that drove Alex wild. She didn't stop there, she had a need, like no other to be inside of Alex. She inserted two fingers and created a rhythm that soon had Alex tumbling in to ecstasy. Piper lapped, gulping up the copious amounts of cum that flooded her mouth. Alex gulped air and Piper kissed up her body, nuzzling her neck when she got to there. Alex clutched to her and shivered. Piper used the water to clean Alex off.

Alex kissed her murmuring on her lips and they heard a whistle. Piper was out of the stall quickly, wrapping her towel. Bell came in the shower and watched as Piper started to brush her teeth. Alex came out of shower stall with her towel around her. Alex smiled at the guard, who snorted and walked out in to the hall. Piper laughed in to the sink and spit. Nicky came around the corner with her towel over her shoulder.

"Sorry girls, she was like a bulldog. I hope one of you at least came." Nicky grinned as she slipped in to the stall by the one they just left. Alex grinned in the mirror and shrugged.

"I never kiss and tell..but I do so thank you." Alex said in a sexy voice, still thick with her passion. As Nicky laughed and turned to her bath, Piper walked up to her

"That thank you is mine, my mouth, my fingers..all mine." Piper explained. Piper pulled Alex to her possessively. Alex closed her eyes and Piper saw them roll back a bit. She was in heaven when Alex gets that look..the one that shows she is completely lost in Piper.

"I think, maybe you wont surprise me..that maybe I know all of the Pipers you can be...then you do something, or handle me a certain way and..fuck." Alex grinned and kissed Piper. It was a peck but Piper loved it. She started to whistle and headed back to the dorm. She checked it again making sure it was empty of any contraband. Alex came back in and was smiling. Her lip was all healed now and Piper had not asked her anything else about it. She knew Alex wouldn't tell her and she didn't push her once. Piper wasn't sure she could handle it this close to her time out and she knew Alex would do anything to keep it from her.

They had more important things to do, like make love in the shower. Piper kept her smile all the way to the lake. Jenkins teased her a bit. They had painted yesterday and it was pretty much dry. They talked about another coat but decided to do it later in the week. So they listened to Piper's radio while they watched the lake. Sure enough a flock of ducks landed and Piper was thrilled to see Jenkins smile. Piper came back in for lunch and she sat with Chang for a few moments.

"Looks, I need some commissary numbers, so I can add some thing to them. I know I can't transfer my money over but if I give you their names, would you get me their numbers?" Piper asked softly. Chang looked at her and then nodded. She knew that she could get in trouble for it but Piper told her the names. "What can I do to pay you?" Piper asked.

"You have no need. Just make sure the girls that get it deserve it and don't use it to pay for revenge or other bad stuff," the woman that always looked sleepy said. Piper promised and moved to sit at her usual table. Alex was late coming in but had a smile on her face. Piper tried not to be snippy and ask if she met with Fig. She didn't want it known Alex met with her regularly. Girls that helped the Warden were targets and talked about in a terrible way.

They walked together to work. Alex walked to the door and said, "Bye, check your pocket," as she walked off. Piper looked down and there was a note folded. She had wondered where her note would show up today. She smiled and walked out to the van to wait for Jenkins. She waited to read her note until they were back at the well house.

_I hope you waited to read this until you are by that lake. You know I never need to visit it. You've described it with such loving detail, I go there with you each time. This morning, you make my heart sing. Apparently, my heart isn't tone deaf and it sounds like I do when I cum. ;) enjoy your day and I'll see you soon. A_

Piper laughed and fell back on to the grass, holding the note to her heart. Jenkins laughed and mimicked her movement, with an over dramatic sigh. Piper rolled her eyes but laughed at herself. She knew she was being silly and gooey. She just didn't care. She trusted Jenkins not to pick at her too much.

She called Larry when she got back in and asked him not to come visit that week. She wanted to see him at the gate next Tuesday. She had her dad coming on Friday because he was starting a summer class and couldn't come visit her again until after she was finished. On Saturday she had no visitors but told Larry that her friend from college may be visiting. She knew he never wanted her to be without a visitor and she was amazed at what a great job he did arranging her visits. He gave in to her and she told him she'd get him the numbers in the next few days. She hoped the money would get to them after she left and they'd never really know it came from her. It wasn't going to be much but Piper could share her mom's wealth and not feel one bit bad about it.

That night after dinner, Alex read to her. They were getting close to the part they read together in Berlin. Piper was squirming more thinking about it. STacy would hide her face sometimes when things got a bit risque. Not as many listened in to this novel as it was hard to follow the political intrigue, but some asked questions about it after Alex finished. Piper hoped she kept reading to them after she left.

She wrote in her journal about it, hoping to share this wish to Alex. As usual though, she never knew how the journal would turn out.

_Dear Alex, _

_I hope you read to them when I'm gone. I mean I do...and I don't. I feel petty and think they shouldn't get to hear you read if I can't. I want all of your time, your voice, your attention. At times I feel so much older and wiser than that kid you took to Indonesia all those years ago. Then at other times I feel like a kid with a toy she doesn't want to share. _

_Today though, in the shower. I felt like a woman in love. _

_thank you,_

_P_

Wednesday

The next morning, Piper slipped in to Alex's shower. It was wonderful to be together under the water. Boo was watching for her and she was a determined woman. She started to kiss down Alex's body but she had none of it. She had Piper pinned to the wall quickly. Piper struggled and kissed her, begging in little moans to be allowed to do what she did yesterday. Alex answered her pleas with two fingers driving into her. Piper growled out and thrust against her hand. Alex was evil though, kissing her and making her almost come, then pulling her fingers out to tease her. It took Piper nearly shouting at her to fuck her harder before Alex gave in and did it. Piper clenched at the stall walls, coming so hard her eyes rolled back. Alex held her close as she crumbled against her. She just held her up against the wall.

"Um fuck that was hot...very..I didn't mean to um..but I had to duck in here, Nichols is talking to Gregory and I looked weird standing there listening. Um is she okay?"Boo said as she watched Alex hold Piper.

Piper blushed and hid her face in Alex's neck. "Um yes, she just does better when she can lay down for that one." Alex laughed. Piper bit her neck in retaliation and Alex moaned. Other girls started to come in and Alex reluctantly pulled herself away from Piper. Piper washed her body under the water and stepped out as well. Boo was fanning herself and Piper rolled her eyes at her. Boo winked and exited the showers to go get her stuff.

Nicky came in, "Should I get Boo a cig?" Alex laughed at it and Piper decided to exit before she turned more red. She checked her cube and saw that Stacy had another letter on her bed. She picked it up and read it. It was a Shakespearean sonnet. Piper looked around but didn't see Suz. She put it back and hoped she was wrong.

Work was very uneventful. They played cards and rearranged the cross ties to make them look better. Piper weeded around the well house and Jenkins used a stick to loosen the dirt where she wanted to plant the flowers. PIper wasn't sure Luschek would get some but she had hope for Jenkins.

She played cards with Alex after dinner and no one bothered them. It was like before Alex left, people gave them room. They talked about how much they were happy they got to go through this together. Piper got choked up and Alex wiped a tear from her face. "Hey don't cry." she said softly. Piper nodded.

"Everything okay?" Piper asked Alex. Alex shifted and sat back.

"Yes, I've got it all under control." She said and Piper knew she was keeping so much of the story away from her. Piper leaned in and looked at her closely then clenched her jaw.

"I don't you dare get more time Alex Vause. Two years is a long time...I can't see you. I want to come see you when I'm allowed..I want those calls." she said to her. Alex nodded slowly, these were things she knew Piper wanted. They hadn't discussed them in awhile. "I need to know you are safe." Piper said.

"Shit Piper, that can't happen, look where we are. It doesn't matter though, I will do what I have to..I will survive. You just get out of here." Alex shared. Piper nodded and tried to focus on her game. Later, she saw Chang who gave her the numbers and Piper was able to call Larry late to give them to him. Alex read to her that night and they held hands. Once she left for the night Piper tried to go directly to bed. She just wanted to sleep and not dream.

She woke up at 2 AM choking on fear. In her dream, Alex was in the dryer but she was bleeding from her face and couldn't breathe. No matter how hard she tried, Piper couldn't get the damn door open.

Thursday

The next morning, Alex got in her shower but had to duck down when Bell came in to see who was in there. Piper stepped out and put her leg up on the desk, flashing Bell her goods, acting like she was inspecting her leg to see if it needed to be shaved. Bell snorted and moved out of the bathroom. Alex popped up and laughed at Piper's display.

"Hey it worked. I meant to ask you, see any big shorts in her laundry as of late?" Piper asked. Alex shook her head.

"No sadly I think there is trouble in the house of Bell/O'Neil. He hasn't been at work in a few days, called in sick." Alex offered. Piper enjoyed getting ready with her and they went to breakfast together. She saw Suz in cafeteria and watched her when Stacy came in..sure enough she watched her. Usually, Suz was out going but she just looked at Stacy in silence. Piper hoped she wasn't delusional. She got up from the table and told Alex she'd be right back. She slyly sat in front of Suz when the guard wasn't looking.

"Hey Suzzane,I noticed you look at my bunkmate. Do you know her?" Piper said. Suz's eyes got big like they do. She leaned back and considered who was asking her. Piper tried to stay calm and just look at her as she thought.

"No. I haven't been properly introduced." she answered. Piper motioned for Stacy to come over. Suz's eyes got large again.

"Stacy, this is Suzzane. She helped me when I first came here, helped me get back in to Red's good graces." Piper offered. She didn't elaborate or tell Stacy about the other things Crazy Eyes did. She knew Stacy had heard her called that. To her credit, Stacy sat beside Piper and smiled over to Suzanne.

"Nice to meet you. Piper was a help to me when I got here, I see where she got it from." Stacy offered with grace. Piper rose and moved back to her table. Stacy spoke to Suz who nodded and tried to look normal. She actually answered some questions. Piper worried that maybe she had done wrong by Stace, but she hoped by actually getting to know Stacy, Suz wouldn't obsess over the image of her in her head.

That day at work she planted flowers all around the well house with Jenkins. They got dirty but it was good fun. Piper wished she could go swimming in to the lake. She imagined Alex with her again and got a goofy look on her face that made Jenkin's toss a clod of dirt at her.

"Stop daydreaming." Jenkins teased. Piper laughed and helped her clean up. She drove them back and walked up with Nicky. They walked by Kaputo's office and Piper laughed, seeing the big tittied girl that was taped to the door. Each office had a different girl taped to it. The prisoners all made sounds and commented about which office had which picture. Nicky grinned the whole time. The new counselor came out and saw the slutty girl taped to her door. The girl was a cowgirl, with boots and a hate, but nothing else on her body. Her breasts were so huge she had to stand with her back bent some so they stayed perky. Piper's eyes got big wondering what the Counselor would do. She took it off her door and looked at it.

"Damn, men are sick pigs," she mumbled as she wadded up the picture and walked back in her office. Piper couldn't help but laugh.

"I want her as my counselor," Nicky said with glee. Piper laughed as the officers came out and started to remove all the pictures. The damage was done and they heard Kaputo yell. Piper just made it back to her cube before they pat downs started. She was making a casserole tonight for dinner. Alex came with the book and they made the picnic blanket on the floor. Piper carried her casserole down and Boo took a sniff on the way out. She pulled the dish away and waved her off. They sat together, eating and enjoying their time. Alex started to read afterward and Piper was hoping she'd get to that part before others got back from the chow hall.

Alex put the book down and looked over at Piper, " You know why I loved this book?" Piper laughed.

"I think it was the lovemaking we did while you read." Piper blushed out. Alex teased her.

"Love making..cute for the torturous oral teasing." Piper wagged her eyebrows at her and Alex continued, "I loved it because you took charge. You didn't do that often then." Alex began.

"Do you like that I do it more now?" she said softly, leaning in to her close. Alex nodded and swallowed. Alex reached out and traced her face with her fingertips Piper nuzzled her palm and kissed it. They stayed there looking at one another until the other women came back from dinner.

That night Piper dreamed again of Alex in the dryer. She didn't get up this time but cried in her bunk until exhaustion took her.

Friday:

Piper got up slowly, the lack of sleep was starting to show. Alex waited on her and they had to wait in the line to shower. Piper was upset she overslept but Alex told her they'd make up for it tonight. Piper felt better. She didn't eat much at breakfast but enjoyed listening to Boo and Yoga Jones debate Karma. She moved her juice and there she found her note. She smiled over to Alex who winked at her.

She started to peek a look but Alex shot her eyebrows up, so she put it in her pocket. She drove Jenkins out to the well house and opened the note once she got out and stood in the sun. _She walks in beauty, like the night  
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;  
And all that's best of dark and bright  
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:  
Thus mellow'd to that tender light  
Which heaven to gaudy day denies._

_I know you know this one...Lord Byron had it right. You walk in beauty in my mind always. See you soon. A_

Piper sat for a long time and cried after she read it. She wiped her eyes though and tried not to show it when Jenkins came over to sit. They sat in place quietly while Piper got herself together. At lunch, Piper sat close to Alex and pressed her body to her. Alex looked at her and asked how she was doing. Piper swallowed and eat the rest of her sandwich but didn't say at word. Alex walked with her out to the van.

"You're going to be late back to work." she said. Alex pulled her over behind the van and looked behind her in the yard, making sure no one could see. She pulled Piper close.

"What is wrong?" she asked Piper. Piper put her head on her shoulder and closed her eyes. She felt Alex close and tried to catch her breath enough to speak.

"NOthing, I just...oh Alex, you quoted Lord Byron to me...no one...it..." Piper just choked up more and sniffled. Alex sighed and laughed as she pushed Piper back some to look at her face.

"You are choked up and sad because I wrote a Byron poem down for you. You had me worried, kid." Alex said as she hugged her. Piper shrugged and swallowed again. There was more...their time was going and she couldn't handle how much she loved that woman. Jenkins yelled from the van and Alex winked her goodbye.

Later, after work, she called Larry and went to visit her dad. He was so happy to see her and she enjoyed his hug. She told him all about the halfway house and they made plans for him to come visit her once she was out. While they were talking, Nora came to visit Alex. She knew she had a friend coming but was surprised it was Nora. It must have shown on her face because her dad turned around to see Alex hug her. She didn't hold her close like she did before, she didn't kiss her neck like she had the first time, but still Piper didn't like it.

"I take it, the tall brunette is Alex." he said. Piper blinked in surprise and looked over at her dad.

"Um..yeah," she replied and winced. He hated it when his educated daughter spoke like that. He didn't lecture her. He just looked back at Alex and she met his eyes. Hers got really big when he seemed to appraise her and turned back to Piper.

"Well that explains a lot," he said dryly. Piper burst out laughing and doubled over. Her father seemed to beam hearing the sound. "There is my Piper, my happy girl." He said and he patted her hand. Bennett stepped up but didn't say anything to him. Piper nodded to Bennett and put her Dad's hand back on the table. The time went to fast and soon her dad stood to hug her. She told him not to worry and she'd see him soon. As he turned to go, he walked right to Alex and spoke to her. Piper was bending to untie her shoes for the search and didn't notice at first. Nora had walked out already but her dad stood there talking to Alex for a few minutes. Piper was ushered to the line and she was happy to find Fischer was doing her last visitation search. She went to the window and watched her father leave. He didn't look up at the gate and she was a bit disappointed.

Alex joined her in the rec room. She walked up and sat down beside her as Piper plays solitary.

"So you told your Dad about me." she said quietly.

"No actually, I told my mom, she did the rest." Piper shared. Alex seemed more surprised. "What did he say to you?" Piper asked as the curiosity was killing her.

"He asked me if I was Alex Vause. Then he asked me if I was the one that gave you the money to smuggle." Piper winced hearing the question he asked. "I told him I was Alex Vause and yes I did. Then I said it was one of my biggest regrets. He told me that he knew you were following someone you loved when you were living abroad with me and he wished it had been someone of better character." Piper sucked in a breath and reached out to take Alex by the hand. She started to explain her dad's views but Alex held up her hand.

"I replied that I wish it had been as well, but loving you inspires me to be better. He looked at me and then said that he hoped I understood what a precious gift your love was and he wished me luck." Alex finished. Piper just looked at her for a long time.

"You are just like your dad." Alex surmised. Piper had to laugh.

That night Alex took her to the chapel and they held each other. Alex started to kiss down her neck. She gently laid her down on the stage and kissed her all over. Alex took her time and tasted all of Piper. Piper didn't want her to use her mouth though and pulled her up to kiss her while her fingers drove Piper wild. She pushed her hand in to Alex's uniform as well. She moved so they could please each other and Piper was rewarded with Alex growling out her orgasm just moments after her own. They clung to each other for awhile, then cleaned up. It was a close call in the hallway as they headed back. Dawson stopped Alex and pushed her against the wall. He told Piper to go on. She stood still.

"Please, sir." she said in a voice she hated to use. He just snorted and patted Alex down. He lingered over her breasts and Alex looked turned her head to look at him all bored. He snorted and told her to move along. Piper stomped back to her cube and Alex followed her in to her cube. Piper fumed and threw her chair against the wall. Gonzalez came over and Alex moved to her to assure Gonzalez she could help her. Piper put her chair up and sat in it dejected.

"I can take it when they pat me down...not you."Piper said. Alex went to her and put her hands on Piper's arms.

"You will NOT react, that is what they want. No one will cost you this, do you know what I've.." Alex just dropped her arms and Piper looked at her shrewdly. Alex moved out of the cube away from the onlookers and went back to her bunk. Piper went to her bunk later so she could read. Alex played with her hair as she read and Piper napped by her side.

Later, after lights out, Piper wrote to her again in her journal format.

_Dear Alex,_

_You said something tonight that makes me upset. I know you're doing something and I'm worried. I am scared that all you want me to do is let it happen and I want to be able to do that for you. I'm trying. _

_I feel you inside of me still...I need you to know that I love that feeling. _

_I heart you, _

_P_

That night Piper dreamed again and woke in the wee hours of the morning. She tried to fall back to sleep and did manage it right before others got up. It was Saturday and she was left sleeping. Alex woke her with a nutragrain bar and the book. Piper got to lay in her warm bunk and listen. She enjoyed that more than anything.

They went out walking around the track. Piper talked about how Polly thinks they have a buyer for the business. It had grown so that they could make a good profit from selling it but she wasn't sure. It was a perfect day. Alex had to come in for visitation and Piper went to visit the women in the room she first had there. She played rook with them and listened as they talked about how scared she was her first night. She enjoyed giving them attention and thanked both of them.

She saw Alex at dinner and she seemed quiet. Piper asked her what was wrong and she said she'd talk about it later. They were getting ready for movie night when Piper asked her to explain.

"Roger came to visit and told me Nora was very upset after her visit. She complained I was more interested in you and your dad. I told her I wasn't interested that way but Roger said she talked his ear off. I always thought I was rather blunt. I think maybe she needs another talk" Alex suggested. PIper snorted.

"You are blunt, I'll talk to her if you want." Piper suggested. Alex glared at her and laughed. She told Piper she had late duty again tomorrow night and she was upset because it was so close to her time to go. Piper's last day was Tuesday. She said she understood and she'd spend all the day with her. She thought it was odd they were drying clothes on Sunday night and she said so. Alex explained there were new uniforms coming in today and they were being washed before put in commissary.

They held hands through the movie and Piper enjoyed it. It was a comedy. She remembered seeing it before but this time she watched Alex's face as she watched, enthralled with her expression. She wanted to memorize her features. Red brought her a cupcake and pinched her cheeks. Piper knew that was her way of saying good luck.

That night, Alex read to her but stopped right before the sexy part. Piper begged but Alex said no...Piper kinda enjoyed how she didn't give in...it had been a great day with Alex. She dreamed again that night but was able to fall back to sleep. Before she dozed she remembered back before they left to go to Indonesia.

**Alex was going ahead to set up their hotel and for business. Piper had to wait a week before she went. Alex had a flight out early in the morning but Piper couldn't sleep and kept her awake. They had made love three times already and she knew Alex was tired. Yet Piper clung to her. **

**"It's okay kid, I'll be waiting on you...no worries. This time don't worry yourself out of our relationship either."Alex tried to calm her. **

**"Alex I'm not worried about you going first, I'm just going to miss you." Piper nuzzled as she said it. Alex had stroked her back and dozed off as she did. Piper had lain awake all night and watched Alex sleep. When her alarm went off, Piper got her up and helped her get ready. Alex was a bear before her coffee so Piper made her a huge cup. She had walked down with Alex and put her in the cab. They had kissed so heated that she felt her legs weaken. Piper watched the cab drive off and made herself feel better by saying it was only one week. **

***** So she has two days to go. I hope you enjoyed the long post. Please review if you want me to write more. Peace, Faecym**


	43. Chapter 43 Sunday

Sunday

Piper didn't really wake up as much as just decide to get out of bed. She made her way to the microwave and made some coffee. Alex came up behind her and put her arm around her waist. She smiled and turned to look at Alex. She loved how she looked in the morning. This morning it was quiet and most were sleeping in.

"Did you sleep at all last night?" she asked Piper, taking a sip of her coffee. Piper shook her head and took her coffee back. They both went to get their shower items and they made their way to the showers. Boo and Nicky were still snoring in their bunks. They showered separately but when they got out, Alex pulled her in to a stall.

There she kissed Piper breathless and whispered to her, " I want to have breakfast outside with you and maybe we can find a quiet place before my shift starts." Piper agreed and kissed her more. Piper enjoyed Alex's hands on her body and it wasn't long before she was moaning out an orgasm in to Alex's mouth. Piper had come, rubbing against her thigh.

"MMm I love it when you do that." she said in her husky sex voice. Alex cleaned herself up some and they got dressed. They were the first in the chow hall line. This time Piper got the tea and Alex carried the book. They sat under what Piper now thought of as "their" tree and sipped their tea. Piper remembered the first time they did this...Alex had looked so haggard and thin then. She wasn't back up to her previous weight but she looked good and Piper was pleased. She had to be. Alex was getting to the part where the young Phedre finally gets her night with Melisande when Piper looked over and saw the chicken. She pulled on Alex's sleeve.

Alex looked up and Piper pointed to the chicken. "You see that?" she asked. Alex looked over and leaned closer. She lifted her glasses...then put them back down. She turned to Piper and downed her tea.

"I see nothing, come on." She said standing and holding her hand out to Piper. Piper laughed and stood with her. They walked back in, leaving the chicken to peck in the yard in peace. Piper couldn't help but laugh all the way inside.

Later, in her cube, Alex gave Piper the book to read. Piper teased her that she couldn't read that part without her mouth on her clit. Alex laughed and agreed. Piper read the part about that night and was all flustered when she was done. She didn't usually go for that type of sexy but she was so routing for Phedre to get her some of that Melisande. It was great and Alex laughed at her expression. She knew how the book ended and the trials coming up for the young heroine. It didn't matter though because it was still wonderful.

They went to lunch together and Piper tried to eat. It was getting hard to stomach the food with her nerves. Piper had started to give away her things, little things to certain people. She gave Stacy extra items to give a new roommate. They talked and Stacy mentioned she thought Suz might be her crush. Piper asked her how she felt about that.

"Well I think she has problems but is trying real hard to be polite and not overstep. I explained I've never been with a woman." she said. Piper's ears perked to the different statement. It s one thing to say" I'm straight" and another to distinguish you've never been with a woman. Piper shared with her that Suz had thought she was her wife at one point. She also explained that she was a kind soul that was very hard on herself. Stacy seemed to understand more. She didn't mention the pee incident.

Piper spent time with Sister Ingalls and they talked about her fears. She asked Piper about her nightmares and Piper felt like she was in therapy. "Should I lay down to talk to you sister?" Piper teased.

"No you can share what the nightmare is about and maybe it wont visit tonight." she offered. She was knitting what looked like a scarf. Piper immediately saw Alex's face in the dryer and shuddered.

"It is always the same, I either can't find Alex or she is hurt, locked in a dryer and I can't get her out." Piper said in a rush. The sister didn't seem to think it was all that odd.

"It is anxiety over leaving her. It is normal, you aren't the first to have dreams before leaving. You saw Mercy leave Tricia...it was hard but she did it." Sister Ingalls grimaced realizing a bit late she picked the wrong example. Mercy never saw Tricia again.

Piper nodded though understanding what she meant. She gave the sister three of her books, including her much coveted copy of _Fifty Shades of Grey. _Piper went running after her talk. While she ran, she listened to the radio station for what was probably the last time. Jenkins joined her a bit late and they ran together. Piper enjoyed listening to the morning show there and the line up was a bit different because it was Sunday. She really enjoyed college radio. She heard _Weak In the Knees _by Serena Ryder and it made her think of Larry. She ran at her even pace and wondered for the first time, where will she run when she is home? Down the street? Can she go for a run at the half way house? The music changed to _Where Ever You Will Go _and Piper started to slow her run. She enjoyed the music but it was a bit sad that day. Jenkins came up to her afterwards and bumped her shoulder in to hers. It was her form of hug and Piper was okay with that.

She made it back and took another shower before count. Alex was in her cube sitting on her bunk when Piper passed. She stopped and blew her a kiss. "Damn I had hoped to catch you sweaty." Alex said to the clean Piper. Piper shrugged as if to say' too bad'. They went to dinner together and Piper managed to eat most of her salad. There was spinach in it that night and she picked it out. A new girl on the line started to give her shit about picking through it. Piper stood her ground and raised her voice right back. Red came out and jerked the new girl back. Gonzalez told her to hurry up at the salad bar and Piper just walked on back to the table. She had enjoyed her salad though by principal.

"Good thing she wasn't dressed as an Angel, Chapman, we'd be having Angel food cake." Nicky snarked. Piper shot her a bird and NIcky laughed. She was going to miss that wise ass girl. Alex said goodbye at the door as she had to go down to watch the dryers. Piper said she'd see her before lights out. Piper went to the rec room and pretended to play cards. Her mind wasn't really on the game. Boo asked her what was up and she asked her for a favor.

Boo watched for her as Piper slipped down the stairs and to the Laundry. She figured she had fifteen or so minutes before the came to check the work area. She knew that was enough time to surprise her girl and get some cuddling done. She was about to call out when she heard Dawson's voice. She ducked down between laundry bins and stayed quiet.

"Here it is. You don't have to do anything now. I gave you the list of names. Just keep the pills here and when they come to get their bags on their day, put the pills in it.." He explained.

"Hey I know how to sell drugs. Where do you want me to keep them so the other girls don't find them?" She said back to him with insolence in her voice.

"Watch your mouth Vause or I'll pop you again. There is a uniform bag in the back, it is marked with a red X and says repairs. They will be in that bag, got it?" He said in the menacing voice that Piper had grown to hate.

"I got it, it isn't rocket science. Just keep up your end of the deal. Stop with all the pat downs and let her leave on time." She said. Piper's stomach twisted and she had to put her hand on her mouth to keep her dinner down. This is what Alex had meant. She was being forced to sell pills for Dawson.

"You just be glad Mendez decided you were worth more selling than what he originally wanted. I"ll keep up my end of the deal, I might pat her down once or twice more..just so you can see how easy it would be for me to put something on her. You always look so green when I do it. Hell, I haven't even felt up her little tits in a long while. Who needs to? All I gotta do is start to pat her down and you get scared," he replied to Alex. He left laughing and Piper heard Alex cursing.

She rose from her hiding place after Dawson exited the back of the work area. She came around the dryers and stood there watching Alex until she looked up. She saw Piper and wiped her eyes.

"What ...you are going to get in trouble, Piper. HOw long have you been there?" she said, looking at Piper's expression. She moved to the door and raised it up, stepping out from behind the counter.

"Long enough. You can't do this Alex. Stop it..don't sell those, please...please don't." she begged. Alex took her in her arms and held her close.

"Don't worry, I've got a plan, I've always got one. First thing though, is we get you out of here, then I can deal." she said to reassure her.

"No. Once I'm gone they will find another way or ...hurt you. He hit you already, I know, I heard. Please Alex." she was begging her now. If Alex was caught, she'd get more time, she may even be sent to Max. Piper just couldn't take it. Alex held her for a while and then she sunk to her knees before Piper. Piper was taken aback as Alex wrapped her arms around her and pressed her face to her stomach.

"Please Piper, let this go. Please...let me give you this. I am begging you. Just finish out your few days and get the fuck out of this hell hole. If you do that, I can do anything. Please, promise me you wont say anything or do anything you think might help. Promise me on our love, Piper." Alex said, the whole time she clung to her.

Piper was in despair. She wanted to go to Fig or someone and get Alex help. She was being strong armed in to dealing and it wasn't good for her. She knew Alex had done Heroin, but what if she started up again because of this. Piper was truly scared. Yet Alex begged her to let it go.

"I promise on our love," she said finally. Alex stood and kissed her softly.

"Thank you. Now slip out of here and I'll see you before lights out." she said to her as she tried to smile though her tears. Piper wiped her face and moved out of the room. She had never seen Alex cry as much as she'd seen her in the last few weeks. She wasn't sure how she was going to leave her to this fate, she wasn't sure she could. Yet she had promised on the one thing that meant something to her in that place.

That night, Alex didn't read to her but gave her the book and told her to look in it when she was in her bunk. They sat and talked until she had to go back. After a quick hug she went back and Piper turned on her lamp in her bunk. She opened the book to the end of the passage they had read the day before and there she saw pressed faded flowers. It took her only a minute to realize that Alex had kept the same copy of the book that Piper had read in Europe. There pressed but still as lovely were the flowers from her failed bracelet. She closed them up and clenched it to her chest. It was the best note yet. She fished out her journal and wrote an entry to her.

_Dear Alex, _

_I leave soon. You gave me back my flowers and I am so worried about you. Promise me you'll be careful my love. _

_Your words are all I've have for a long while and without them I'll perish. Our love is a lot like these flowers, given with love and kept safe until we could handle it again. _

_You mean everything to me. Please stay safe..if my freedom comes at your expense...if you end up gone like Tricia, I promise I wont be far behind. _

_I've never written or felt anything like that before, it scares me . Please Alex, stay safe. _

_P_


	44. Chapter 44 Monday: Greener Than Grass

Monday

That morning, Piper walked her exhausted self to the shower. Alex joined her with their friends standing guard. They kissed and Alex held her under the water. She put her head on Alex's shoulder and she just held her.

"I wish you could sleep better, kid." Alex said as she washed the shampoo out of her hair. Piper looked at her and shook her head.

"I wish you weren't doing what you are doing. How was it Boo said it, " Wish in one hand and shit in the other, see which one fills up faster". Piper replied, putting her head back on her shoulder. Alex laughed.

"Um that is gross." Alex seemed to sense that Piper didn't want to make love. Piper washed her body as well. Taking her time and touching all of Alex that she could. "That feels amazing, Pipes. Later tonight, you, me and our place in the chapel?" Alex offered softly. Piper nodded but didn't speak. She was not going to cry at all today. She had decided in the wee hours of the morning that tears are wasted on this place.

Once they were done, Piper thanked Nicky and Boo with a hug. They both could tell it hadn't been a sexy lovemaking time but Piper hoped they could tell how much she needed that small amount of sorta privacy. They went together to the chow hall. Piper froze when she saw Dawson by the door. Alex pulled her sleeve and gave her a look that begged her not to say anything and to just come on.

Piper tried to walk by him but he would have none of that, "Come on Chapman, surely you don't think you're out already? Assume the position inmate," he barked out. Piper squinted her eyes and glared at him. Alex looked down to the floor and swayed. Now Piper felt the intense fear of knowing he threatened to set her up. She knew there was nothing what so ever she could do about it. He patted her down and lingered by her breasts and turning her so Alex had to watch.

"You are a sick fuck." Piper murmured under her breath.

"Watch it inmate, you can still end up in the SHU." he replied. Piper clenched her jaw and stood still. He finished and told her to go on to the cafeteria but he'd be watching. She turned to say something else but Alex grabbed her arm hard and yanked her back.

"Shut the fuck up Piper. Let him do this petty shit..it makes him feel like a man. I will handle him." She bit out between her clenched teeth.

"Oh yeah you handled him so well with the dryer door." Piper snapped back, yanking her arm out of her grasp. Alex sighed and Piper went through the line. She talked to the girls she knew there. Gina had returned but was on light duty. You didn't see her scars but she was a different person. As far as she knew, she hadn't spoken a word to Red. Piper hoped they worked it out.

She sat down at her normal table and Alex joined her. Yoga Jones sat beside Alex and asked them both if they are okay. They said, "Fine" in unison.

"Yes I can see that. Look, couples fight right before one of them leave. It is normal. Just...you know, remember that your time here is temporary and you both will walk out in the world free again. You will have the chance to hold each other, if that is what you want, again without anyone telling you that you can't. You just got to keep believing." She said to them gently. Sister Ingalls sat beside her as she talked.

"I say Amen to that, Ms. Jones." she said with a perky smile.

"You have always fascinated me Sister. You've never once preached to me that I'm going to hell for loving a woman." Alex said with respect. Piper heard her say she loved her and had to smile. Alex, this Alex, used the word more lately, but still she wasn't one to admit feelings in public.

"I look at it this way Vause, I've watched the two of you suffer. That shows me it is real...God is Love and no matter what the bible may have in its pages, man wrote that Bible. Man isn't perfect so I choose to believe in the Divinity of Love in all of its variation. It makes me happier and a better Christian." she said before she lowered her head to pray over her food.

When she was finished Piper said, "You're my hero Sister." That made her smile. They walked to work together and Piper was happy not to see Dawson or Walsh in the hallway. She said goodbye and watched Alex walk down to the stairs. She was worried about her. It wasn't laundry day but Piper stressed and worried about illegal drugs near her. She wished she could pray with the faith of Sister Ingalls but she knew she'd pray for Dawson to choke on his own spit and that wasn't very Christian.

At the Electric shack, Luschek surprised them all by having them pour in to the van. He started to drive but let Piper do it at the last minute. She felt better in control of the van. He told her to take them to see all the work she had Jenkins had completed on the old well house. Piper couldn't help but smile.

She drove the girls to the house and laughed when Nicky said "Holy shit, there is a lake, I thought you seeing things Chapman!" They all hopped out of the van and inspected the work. Most didn't even bother to look at the house or listen to Piper explain all the did. Most just sat in the grass and stared at the lake. Soon they all ended up doing just that. Luschek surprised them by snapping a picture with a digital camera.

"They are going to start offering photos of inmates, you can pay for them to be taken out of your commissary. I snagged a camera to take pictures of the well house. I'm going to show off all the work and get some brownie points with Fig." He explained. That didn't explain why he took their picture. Piper looked over and saw all of the girls sitting in silence looking at the lake. Maybe he saw the beauty in the moment. She hoped that was it. Piper said goodbye to the lake and drove them all back. They spent the rest of the day, repairing lamps. Piper was getting rather good at it.

She ate lunch with Alex and they laughed as Nicky described how they all sat in silence looking at a lake. Alex smiled at Piper and she knew that Alex understood. After work, Piper was told she wouldn't work tomorrow and she would be checked out around 4PM. She said goodbye to the shack and didn't look back. She did go running with Jenkins one last time as well. It was before count, just enough time for a quick mile. When they came inside, Piper handed Jenkins her radio.

"For the running...I know they are out again in the commissary." Piper said as if it was nothing. Jenkins took it and swallowed. Piper just bumped in to her arm and went off to her dorm. She had given away all of her stuff but the letters and certain items she was taking. Her cube looked bare. Stacy had a visitor. It was Suz. She sat on her bunk all proper and loaned Stacy two books.

"I wish you the best Piper." Suz said to her. Piper just smiled and offered her the same. She watched her with Stacy and it seemed that maybe she had a real friend there. She couldn't see anything else but maybe that was just what they both needed. She wanted to skip dinner but she didn't have enough stuff left to fix anything. So she went to dinner, walking with Suz and Stacy. She wasn't patted down but she hadn't seen Alex since count. She was worried. She told the girls to go on inside and waited for Alex by the door. She came in, walking in from the outside door that leads to the Admin offices. She had been to see Fig again.

"Did you tell her?" Piper offered in a low voice. Alex just shook her head. "Oh so this was a social visit." Piper snapped out.

"Look, she could care less about what Dawson is doing as long as nothing gets reported. She was checking on me...how I'm doing with you leaving. Yes...I guess it was social. I can't help it Piper, I can't piss her off." Alex tried to explain. Piper held up her hand.

"I know, doesn't mean I gotta like it." she said as they made their way to the chow line. Alex was very attentive to her and people watched them. She saw many sad faces look her way. She made herself eat and listen to her friends. She and Alex touched legs under the table and that calmed her considerably. After dinner, she went to call her mom, Larry and Polly. Polly said she'd see her Thursday during visiting time at the half way house. They discussed if she should bring Finn and Piper still said no. Her mom said she'd see her Saturday and told her to make sure she looked nice when she arrived tomorrow. First impressions! Larry was like a kid, so excited. He said he detailed the car twice and kept checking the gas and battery. He said he had gotten a better cast, like a leg brace now and driving was easier. Piper was happy for him and told him, she'd see him tomorrow.

When she walked back to the rec room, there was a party waiting. She guessed there wasn't time tomorrow as others had to work. There were banners all about and she was struggling not to cry. Taystee actually came up and gave her a hug.

She whispered in her ear. "This morning I had more money in my commissary than I've ever had here. Chang wouldn't tell me who did it...but I can guess." Piper just smiled and shrugged. She never would have made it through the Pensatucky ordeal without Taystee, Black Cindy, Jenkins and Poussey. She hoped the money helped make their time a bit easier here. Soon the dancing started and Alex held out her hand for a dance. Piper looked around and saw Fischer close the door to the room. Gregory and Gonzalez were on duty in there. She had to check twice when she realized, there were no male officers in the room. She looked at Alex and she smiled. Piper ran in to her arms and they danced. _Blurred lines_ came on the radio and they danced close. The girls hooted and hollered as their heat sizzled. It was the happiest moment she could remember in days. Soon everyone joined in and danced. She saw Suz dancing with Stacy, all close but not touching. Piper touched though, she danced close to Alex and let her know with her body how much she loved her. The song switched to Possession by Sarah McLachlan and Alex held her close.

Too soon the party was over and Piper tried to help them clean up. Boo would have none of it and told her to get her ass out of there. She walked back towards her dorm but Alex pulled her in to the chapel. It was like their first time they made love in the prison, all hands and need. Piper struggled with Alex's bra and just gave up to pull it and suck at her nipples. They were down behind the altar, touching everywhere. It was one of those times where they worked together, fingers buried in each other...Piper looked in her eyes the entire time and they both came so hard. Alex closed her eyes and shuddered her release...but Piper came with her eyes open, drinking in Alex.

They cuddled for awhile and Piper finally said, "When I'm gone..I know there isn't much ...or many places but.." She stopped unable to say it. Alex nodded and kissed her head.

"Not here. I'll not come here with anyone else." she said. Piper looked up at her and frowned.

"Thanks for that lie." she replied and then she kissed her lips. They got dressed and Alex went out the front of the Chapel. Piper waited a good five minutes and looked around the room. It was dark but still she could smell their lovemaking and hear all the passionate cries they'd made in that room. She exited the back way and made her way to the dorm. She got there right before last count. Alex came over and brought her two notes. ONe she said she should read in bed tonight, the other she had to save until she was away from Litchfield.

"I mean, you can wait until you aren't with Larry. I understand." she tried to say. Her voice broke when she said his name and her fist tightened in to a white knuckled ball. Piper opened the book and started to read more. They did this until lights out and they snuck a kiss goodnight.

Piper read the note in the lamplight.

_Hey Kid, _

_As you try to fall to sleep tonight, I want you to remember our flat in London. The sounds of the girls in their bunks, that is just traffic below. The lights all around, that is just me when I left on the lamp. You could sleep no matter what I was working on in bed. Imagine I'm right beside you. _

_I've one more quote for you but you can't cry. _

_"Whoever he is who opposite you  
sits and listens close  
to your sweet speaking  
and lovely laughing – oh it  
puts the heart in my chest on wings  
for when I look at you, even a moment, no speaking  
is left in me  
no: tongue breaks and thin  
fire is racing under skin  
and in eyes no sight and drumming  
fills ears  
and cold sweat holds me and shaking  
grips me all, greener than grass"_

_I heart you, A_

That night Piper slept holding her note to her chest. She didn't have a nightmare, she imagined Alex was beside her and for that night it was enough.

**Now, have some faith! Please review if you'd like more chapters. Peace, Faecym***


	45. Chapter 45 Tuesday: Every Little Thing

***three tissue recommended**

Tuesday

Piper woke up with the sun and walked out of the dorm to peer through the doors, over the fence and watch it rise. She took a breath and hoped she'd never have to see that through barbed wire again. She walked back in and leaned against Alex's cube wall and watched her sleep. Gonzalez walked up to her and looked over her shoulder. Piper turned her head and smiled a bit.

"She'll be okay, that one is a survivor. You get out of here and never look back." Gonzalez said to her. Piper nodded and turned back to watch Alex. Slowly she woke, rubbing her face and sitting up. She turned and peered over the walls, trying to see if Piper was up yet. She reached for her glasses and Piper saw her take a large breath. She watched Alex get herself together, trying to control her emotions. She looked up and saw Piper standing there. She smiled. Piper was standing in her PJs she got from Red, her long grey shirt and dirty socks. She wasn't all decked out, she hadn't even run a hand through her hair, yet Alex looked at her like she was an angel.

Piper watched as she patted her laid back down and patted the bunk, "Come be my little spoon." she said again. "This time I swear it is more comfy." Piper smiled and looked over at Gonzalez. No one was up yet and her back was turned. Piper went over and got under the blanket with Alex. She closed her eyes and they rolled back some as Alex kissed her on the neck.

"I want you to have Miss Claudette's blanket. Don't let Boo get it." she said. Alex shhh'd her. Piper could tell she wanted to imagine for just a little while longer that Piper wasn't leaving. Piper clutched to her hand and closed her eyes to stop the tears. Alex held her close and Piper felt her body shake. She turned and reached out to stroke the tears from her face.

"You are amazing and I'm so very proud of you." Alex said. Piper just shook her head and caressed her face. Too soon they heard the Dorm rise. Piper went ahead to shower. She knew they'd be watching them today. When she was finished she was thrilled to walk out and to never see that nasty tile again. She gave her shower shoes to Stacy, telling her it is always good to have a spare. She waited on Alex and they walked to breakfast. She saw Dawson but walked right passed him. He didn't try anything but that probably had something to do with Kaputo being in the hall. She wasn't sure what she was going to do with her day. Taystee had told her that she had paperwork to do and an exit interview with her counselor. Everyone said goodbye at the table, in case Piper wasn't able to make it to lunch. Nicky got a bit teary-eyed but cracked some joke about having to put up with Luschek on her own now. Piper wished she got to go to work that day because the waiting was killing her.

She walked Alex all the way down to the laundry. She looked around and wanted to stay there. She didn't want Alex to pass those drugs as girls came to get their bags today.

"Sasha is going to cover for me at 2PM, Fig said it was okay. I'll meet you outside your counselor's office." she whispered. Piper nodded and turned to slowly walk out. She saw the dryer, Myra, she thought was her name. She remembered how scared Alex looked inside. She remembered how the sound of her voice had stopped her in her tracks. That time...that time Piper had come back to her and tried. She thought of all the bad dreams she had about that damn door and sighed.

"Hey, see you soon." Alex said when she saw Piper staring at the dryer. It was that event, that mishap that got them talking. Trapped in a dryer, Alex still told her exactly what she thought of her and set her off. Piper smiled back at Alex and left.

She walked around the prison until she had to go to her counselor. There was apparently things she didn't know she had to sign. Her check from the Commissary had to be sent to her but she had to go over all the details of what she spent. She then had to sign an inventory of what she had when she came in..most of it had been mailed back to Larry. She showed her the agreement issued by the judge that allowed Larry to take her to the half way house.

He then gave her an honest opinion of where she was going. "I like this one better than some but it isn't great. The no cell phone and curfew are strictly enforced. I've heard from returning women though that nights are hard, that prisoners bring in contraband and the neighborhood isn't very safe. I know you're a runner but I think for the next bit, you should just work out in the gym." He went on explaining these things and Piper listened.

Lunch was almost over when she came out and Alex was worried. She approached her from behind and put her hand on her shoulder. Alex turned and hugged her to her tightly. "I thought.." she swallowed.

Piper finished for her, "You thought I'd left already. I remember waiting on you to go to Chicago, I was very nervous. My time is set, I don't have to take the van to the bus stop. You want to eat lunch?" Piper asked. She shook her head no and they went outside instead. LIke before, no one spoke to them and let them have their time.

"I don't know how my heart doesn't just stop." PIper began. Alex looked at her curiously as they sat down. "I love two people. I love them completely and completely different. How do I stop loving one or let one go?" she asked.

Alex sighed and said, "You know I can't say. I've only ever really loved you. I try to understand how you feel, I try to fill in those years we were apart and understand. Sometimes I do a decent job, but most of the time I just want Larry to drop dead." Alex admitted. Piper couldn't help but laugh.

"No you don't. It would hurt me and you'd hate that." she said with confidence. Wow, she had come so far with Alex. No longer did she see her as a manipulative user that ruined her life. Now she saw her like she did before, exciting and wonderful to love. This Alex was different, she once said that Prison was her rock bottom. Piper could relate as she felt the same way. Yet here at the bottom love found them again. It is stronger.

"Please, when my probation is up, let me come see you." Piper asked again. Alex sighed.

"I will not hold another person's wife." she responded in a low voice. "If I see you, touch you...it will be the same all over. Larry...when I called him from Chicago, he asked me to promise him something. He asked me to promise him that I'd let you go and live your life. He made me promise not to speak to you or see you again once you leave." Piper's eyes widened. Neither of them had said a damn thing to her. She stood and walked over to the fence, crossing her arms. Alex rose and walked over to stand beside her.

"Well that wasn't his to fucking ask of you." Piper said.

Alex laughed, "Sure it was. Fuck Piper, he has been fine with us bascially having an affair while you were in here. He knew it was the only thing keeping you sane. Did he like it? No. I'd asked the same thing in his place. Actually, I'd most likely broken up with you if you cheated on me while in here." Alex admitted to her. Piper's shoulders slumped.

"You agreed to write me, Alex. You said twice a month you'd send me letters to Roger.." Piper was scared now, scared that Alex wouldn't keep her promise.

Alex put her mind to ease, "I told him I'd not see you or talk to you, I never said I wouldn't write. I know it is technicality but I left it up to you to tell him." Piper thought on this as she had since they decided to write.

"I'm not going to tell him. I don't think he'd understand and I've asked him to be understanding enough." Piper explained. Alex nodded her head. She didn't mention that Piper would be lying to her lover. "Also, I'm not his finace' anymore so stop with the wife shit." Piper demanded with her eyes squinting at her. Alex nodded and gave her a sweet grin.

Alex had to go back to work and Piper was called to meet with Figuaro. She hadn't seen her since she asked for her marriage permission. Larry had written another article and talked up some of the good programs there. She hoped it was enough. This time though, as she sat before her she could only see her as a predator. Someone that would use Alex and throw her away.

Fig looked at her and read over her paperwork. " I see your..fiance' Larry Bloom will be picking you up. The state thanks you for not wasting their money. Are you going to have a Fall wedding?" she asked casually.

Piper turned her head to the side and gave her a small smile, "No. We haven't set a date for anything. I have a month in the halfway house and probation to get used to. I heard more about that today, learned my probation officer's name." Piper tried to keep it all business but she couldn't help but notice her legs. Alex loved long legs on a woman. Piper rubbed her palm on her uniform. She was more and more agitated.

"Well, anything would have been better than the visitation room. I think you made the smart choice there. I hope you've learned from your mistake Chapman and I never see you here again." She said in a condescending tone.

"Learned? I learned nothing here except how to survive a corrupt and broken system. I regret what I did because I helped hurt people who were addicted to drugs. I made a mistake and yes I paid the price, but really...what did this serve? Did you educate me or help me find a new skill? No. I had to use navigate my way around everything here just to get a track opened. I would have been more use and learned more if I had been put to work in a drug addiction rehab or made to help the homeless. I learned nothing here but this system is broken and allows the Strong, like you and your sicko guards, to victimize the weak." Piper blurted out with venom. Fig raised her eyebrow and Piper raised hers back.

"I see you have strong views. I heard you had a temper. I knew you did when I erased that video. You know the one of you beating Tiffany Dogget nearly to death. Don't you think it was better that you did that here than going off on some innocent person on the outside?" she said back to Piper with equal venom. Piper swallowed. She had always wondered why there wasn't a video of that night.

"Don't try and fool me in to thinking you did me a favor. You wanted the scandal gone, you didn't want my fiance' to write about how I had to defend my life against a lunatic under your watch. Plainly put, I would have Never acted that way had I not been locked up here." Piper fumed.

"You keep on saying that, Chapman." Fig pushed a button and said in the intercom, " come take this inmate back to Camp. I'm done with her." Piper stood and walked to the door without another word. She knew is she stayed one more minute she'd say something she regretted. Bennett walked her back to the campus and she saw Alex waiting on her by the door. She was nervous.

"What did you say to her?" she asked as soon as Bennett left them.

"The truth. Don't worry I didn't tell her about Dawson or to keep her grubby fucking paws off of you. I did go off on the system..oh and told her she victimized the weak." Piper remembered. "I lost my temper but I didn't tell her to go fuck herself, which ..was an improvement over when I lost it with Healy. See I did learn something in prison." she drawled. Alex exhaled and hugged her close. They were walking back to the dorm.

Their time was ticking away and Piper was nervous. Alex turned on the radio in the dorm, the one Boo kept by her bed and the campus radio show played. The sound quality wasn't grand but it was nice. They listened to the music and hunkered down on her bunk, holding each other close. A few girls came in and out but no one spoke to them. Piper knew her friends could say goodbye in the visitation room before she left...this time was just for them.

As the time approached, Gregory let them know it was about time. As she walked out, Laura Pausini came on the radio, _Every Little Thing You Do _the slow piano version came on. Piper remembered when this came out in Europe. Alex stood and held out her hand for a dance. Piper moved in to her arms and clung to her as they danced. Alex bent her head and kissed Piper, like she does on her neck. They swayed and Piper started to sob. Alex held her close and murmured how strong she was and how she'd always be okay.

When the song ended, Gregory turned off the radio. "Time to go Chapman, pack out." she said in her business tone. Alex thanked her and Piper peeled herself out of her embrace to go get her stuff. She brought her pillow with her and put it on Alex's bed. Alex walked her down to the visitation room. Piper had to go in to be searched once last time and they seperated for a moment. Bell was inside and Piper had hoped it woudln't be her.

"I like to see prisoners out too. You did good in here, Kid. Now, get out of your uniform, put it in this bag." She was all business but less scarey now. Maybe she had gotten back with O'Neil...Piper wasn't sure but she was sure it wasn't kindness. Her items had to be searched. Bell looked them over and added her paper work.

She held up a picture to Piper. "Your boss gave you this, he brought it in this morning." It was the picture of all the girls by the lake. Piper was thrilled and asked her to thank him. She shrugged and handed Piper the clothes Larry had sent. The jeans felt so odd on her body and her TeeShirt smelled like home. Tide. She smelled it for a moment before putting it on. She laughed at Bell's face when she handed her the Tevas. Piper still had her running shoes in her bag but the boots were turned back in. Bell walked her out and in to the room for her goodbyes.

"You got five minutes, Chapman, your man is waiting." she said as they walked in. There in the room was Yoga Jones, Boo, Nicky, Stacy, Taystee, Poussey, Red, Jenkins, Sister Ingalls and her Alex. She hugged each one of them and they laughed through tears. She got to Alex and she stopped. Alex looked as lost now as the day she Piper left long ago, the day her mom died. Piper just didn't think she could leave her again.

"I..can't." she began. Alex pulled her close and held her. They kissed and Bennett cleared his throat but they didn't stop. Alex pulled back for air and pressed her forehead to Piper's like she loved to do. Piper clung to her. Red walked up and put her hands on Piper's shoulders.

"Listen up, you will let go, walk to that door and Officer Bennett will walk you out. You will go and not look back because that is what she wants...that is what you must do."Red said with such surety that Piper let it give her courage. Sister Ingalls went to Alex and put her arm around her.

"We got her." she said simply. Alex nodded and leaned in to the Sister's embrace. Nicky came closer but didn't reach out to Alex and Piper was thankful for that.

"See you soon." she said in a broken voice. But she smiled at Piper...Red walked Piper over and out the door she went. She just kept saying, one foot in front of the other. She never looked back through the hallway, she jsut walked. When she went through the door, she didn't know where to go. She'd never been in that hallway before. Bennett led her to the door and down the path. She blinked in the sun and wiped her face. She stopped before she turned the corner around the building. She knew Larry was waiting by the gate where the van usually picked up prisoners that were released.

She tried to wipe her face and Bennett turned to her and tucked her hair back. "You look great. Don't worry he'll just be happy he can hold you." Piper nodded and thanked him again.

"You really should get another job, you're too nice for this work." Piper said to him and then she walked around the corner. There was Larry standing by the gate. He had a cane but he was standing straight. He came forward some and she met him with a big hug. He held her close and squeezed her so hard she felt her back crack. He smelled amazing.

Piper felt eyes on her and she whispered in Larry's ear, "Is she at the window?" He turned and looked up at the window on the stairwell landing.

"Yeah she is and she's surrounded by friends." He said kindly.

"She told me not to look back but.." Piper said, still looking only at Larry.

"To be honest, I hated looking at you up there, it hurts Piper...to see you there and walk out without you. Your decision but know it crushes you to see it." He said in a raged voice.

"You did everytime." Piper replied, wrinkling her brow.

"You needed me to." He said as a way of explaining. She stepped back from him and took a deep breath.

"Go ahead, I'll meet you past the gate." she said. He nodded and turned walking with his cane through the gate. Piper looked up and saw them all. She saw Alex in the front with her hand on the glass. Piper lifted her hand and felt her stomach twist. How the fuck was she supposed to walk away and leave her. She thought of what Larry said to her.

She needed me to. Piper put her hand on her heart and turned away. She walked, one foot in front of the other through the gate and out of Litchfield Prison.

** As I promised, posts now she is out will go faster, covering more time in each chapter. As much as I was tempted to keep them together, what I want for these girls means so much more has to happen. I hope you keep reading and please review. peace-Faecym***


	46. Chapter 46 Halfway Hell

Piper walked to the car, clutching her bag. Larry hobbled beside her. She waited on him to open the door and felt strange. She sat in the car and smelled the interior. She was in shock. She knew enough to know that. He got in and started it up. Piper couldn't help but feel elated to be driving off that campus. She half expected them to close the gates and say there had been a mistake. Once he got to the main road, she asked him to go the other way, she wanted to see something. He obliged but warned her they had to hurry if they wanted to stop and eat. He drove around the country road and Piper saw it. She asked him to pull over and got out of the car. She walked through a field and stood before the lake. Across it she could see the wellhouse, fresh with its new paint. She dug in her bag and pulled out the picture.

"Is this the lake you told me about?" he asked as he walked up to her. She nodded and showed him the picture. She named each girl and told him it was taken just the other day. He held it with such care, it was very sweet of him. She fished out her book and asked him if he'd wait in the car a moment. He nodded and looked at her kind of confused. She slipped off her Tevas and walked down to the water. She rolled up her pants and walked in to the cold dark water. It felt so nice.

With courage she wasn't sure she had, Piper looked in the book for Alex's last note. She had waited like she asked. She swallowed hard and opened it.

_Dear Piper, _

_I know telling you not to worry is useless because I'd worry if I was in your shoes. Just remember that I got myself in to this mess. I spent years reaping the financial and emotional rewards of my crimes. The only thing it ever cost me, before my freedom, was you. I should have stopped then, no matter what they did to me. But I didn't and now I live here in this place. Oh kid, you didn't deserve this and I'm sorry. I'm more sorry for what I did to you than anything else I've ever done. I know you made the choice yourself and I know you've stopped blaming me. Yet, I feel responsible. So when you leave today, know that I am happy you will be okay. _

_I never expected to love this way again. No, I don't think I knew how to love you until here. I was always waiting on you to wise up and leave me. I pushed you away by pushing you further in to my life when I knew you would only go so far. Here though, I learned that there is such a thing as forgiveness. I can't forgive myself but I do forgive you for leaving me..for my mom. _

_So here it is, my last poem to you, my last note before we start the stuff we have already planned. (Yes I'll keep my promise)_

_When the stars shine though dirty windows,_

_When the hawk flies over my head,_

_When the sound of metal doors closing,_

_Scream and rattle around my head,_

_I'll close my eyes and picture you, _

_Smiling at me like only you do,_

_And I'll feel warm, kid, I'll feel love. _

_If you ever tell Nichols I wrote you a love poem I'll deny it and tell her about your Java bathroom experience. Now go, live well, be good and just think of all the stories you have to tell. _

_I heart you, A_

Piper sobbed and walked out of the water. Larry sat in the car and waited on her to return. She tucked it back in her book and clutched it to her chest. She got in and he handed her a box of Kleenex. She could tell he'd tried to prepare for anything.

"You okay?" He asked before he started the car.

She nodded. "Is it okay if we don't talk for a little while?" she asked. He said sure and pulled out on towards the highway, heading back to New York City.

Piper enjoyed their meal of Fried Chicken. He had asked her what she wanted and she really couldn't say. She tried to eat part of each thing on her plate but it seemed to be so much there. She took a box but told Larry he'd have to take it as she didn't know the rules about outside food at the house. He talked about his new job and she listened to him, happy for the distraction. As the miles ticked away and she got further from Alex, a cold set up in her heart that she wasn't sure would ever go away. He pulled up to the house about 8PM. She knew curfew as at 10 so they had time. She had never been to that neighborhood. It wasn't really near her area of Brooklyn. It was harsh. Larry went through a gate to park his car. He told her he was told never to park on the street when he visited.

They walked up and she was checked in. They did a pat down and she expected a strip search but the worker there didn't seem to want to do one. The house was three stories and the top two were all rooms. There were two bathrooms on each floor and it was holding about 50 women. Each room had three bed, jammed in to it. Larry kissed her goodbye and she felt shocked. She looked over at the worker but no one seemed to mind they kissed. Her bag had been searched, both of them and she hauled it up to the third floor. She had one roommate, her name was Jae. She was a young girl with a sleeve tat that was dark and tribal. Piper said hello and introduced herself.

"Are you a ho? My last roommate was a whore and she brought a trick up in here one night." she said. Piper assured her she wasn't a whore and sat on the bunk. It was just exactly like the one she left. She sighed. "Yeah they get old bunks from prisons in here. These rooms are made for two but they shoved three. Welcome to Halfway to Hell," her new roommate said. Piper went to find the bathroom, again it wasn't very private. The stall doors were down. She asked Jae and she told her it was so they can see if anyone shoots up in there. She said be careful because she almost stepped on a needle in there her first week. Piper wished she'd kept her shower shoes.

Piper got in to a routine quickly. She got up, did her chores for the morning as it was listed on the chart, then walked the block down to take the bus to work. Her work was only a short 15 minute ride from the house. She liked her job. It was easy and once people stopped being afraid of her, they were actually rather curious. Everyone seemed to want to know about prison. Piper was good natured and told them some of the details. Many thought she was beat up by all the inmates each day. She didn't tell them about Henton or Dawson. She just said she was more afraid of the guards than anyone. She saw Polly, her mom, Pete, friends from her life before...all visited in the afternoon.

At night the place was as loud as any prison. She still had dreams and woke up choking with fear. Often though she couldn't fall back to sleep because of the activities going on. Girls just brought men up in there and fucked them. Piper never told Larry about it, but sucked. She saw more drug use there than she did when she was with Alex. No cellphones were allowed and she knew it was to keep people from tweeting or uploading images of what went on at the house. She saw two girls come in late for curfew. Each were met by policemen. They were cuffed and yanked out of the house, taken straight to county lock up. She was careful after that to always be back inside an hour before curfew.

She was sitting on the porch one night. Larry had just left and Jae came out to sit with her. She was thinking about Alex and the tears started to fall. She wiped them and looked around to see if anyone noticed.

"You gotta girl on the inside?" Jae asked. Piper nodded. "Her name must be Alex. I heard you call that dude that visits each day, Larry. So you gots a girl on the inside and a guy on the out, damn girl you a playa." she snorted. Piper smiled, she'd heard that before.

"Yeah I was with her before...I even met him, we hooked up again in prison." Piper explained some. She didn't want to be thought of as "Gay for the Stay". She wasn't sure why it was important except she didn't want anyone or anything to trivialize her relationship with Alex.

"Nah that's good. I had a girl on the inside too." Jae said.

"Oh, is she still doing her time?" Piper asked. This was the first personal information Jae offered. She had one visitor since Piper arrived and it had been her mom.

"Nah, she killed herself in solitary about six months before I got out. She got caught smuggling some candy in to the cellblock. They tossed her in there, forgot her. She was there for three months. One day she had enough, see and just smashed her head in to the wall. She had a...brain bleed or something. They didn't notice for awhile, who knows how long." she explained. AS she spoke she just stared down at the corner where at three hookers were arguing.

"I'm so very sorry that happened." Piper said. She was overwhelmed.

"You ever do time in SHU?" Jae asked, her tone saying she doubted Piper had ever stepped foot in it.

"yeah a couple of days, I couldn't imagine doing months there." she shivered at the thought. Jae nodded her head and seemed impressed. She seemed to be done sharing and stood up and went inside. Piper closed her eyes and tried to think of Alex. She pictured her in the rec room, beating Boo at scrabble. She always tried to picture her smiling. It helped for a little while. She went to bed early that night and read through all of her notes. She fell to sleep clutching her book. That night she awoke again screaming Alex's name. Jae came over and sat on her bunk. She just patted her arm until Piper was breathing normal. Then she got back in her bed and fell right back to sleep.

Her month there flew by and Piper was ready to be checked out. She had to wait on her probation officer. Larry as anxious and walked around the den area, looking out the window. Piper just sat calmly and waited. She wondered if she was ever that impatient. Finally, he arrived. It was nearing curfew and he seemed put to be there that late. His name was Mr. Forbes. He went over where Piper had to go for her drug tests (weekly and by surprised) told her about the permission she would need to leave the city,(had to be five days in advance unless medical emergency in immediate family) how she had to not miss work at all, how he'd make surprise visits to work and home. Of course he told her how she couldn't have contact with anyone else that had a criminal record. Piper knew all of this and listened quietly. His office was downtown and she would report there on Monday for her first drug test.

It was late when they left and Piper got back in to Larry's car. Jae hadn't come down to say goodbye and Piper wasn't surprised. It was Friday night and he asked her what she wanted to do or eat before they went home.

"Can we stop for a few slices?" she asked. He said sure. She didn't want to go in so Larry did and got them a nice pie from Lombardi's. They took it home and Larry let Piper open the door. She stared at the key for a few moments before putting it in the lock. Once inside she was overwhelmed again by the emotions. He turned on the lights and she saw a banner he hung over the fireplace. It read, "Welcome Home Piper". It reminded her of her farewell banners, made with whatever supplies they could find. It made her sad but she smiled at him and thanked him. She ate a piece of pizza and thought of Alex. She ate another one for her. She was quiet and Larry seemed to be at a loss as to what to say. He asked her if she wanted to unpack and she said sure, hopping up to go get her things.

She took out her items from the prison bag. She put the letters, all of them in her bedside table. Her book, she put on the night stand. She then unpacked her clothes and stared for a long while at the closet. Her mom wanted to take her shopping for new clothes. She wasn't sure she could handle her mom that much, so she hadn't agreed yet. She had to go to the bathroom and paused before the door. She opened it and closed it. Over and over...Larry just stood across the room and watched her. She noticed and blushed, then ducked inside to pee.

ON the toilet, she felt full circle. She remembered crying on it her last night with here. Now the tears just wouldn't come. It was so strange to have privacy it took her awhile to start to pee. She heard Larry on the phone, "Yeah we are here. She seems okay...well quiet. Things are a bit overwhelming I think. No..I haven't pressured her Polly, damn. I'm not going to..yeah, I have to go to the office tomorrow, you'll be here when? Are you bringing Finn?" He must have walked in to the living room because she couldn't hear him anymore.

Her friends were worried. She knew herself enough to know they should be. She flushed and looked in the mirror. She wanted to take a bath but she wasn't quiet ready for Larry to come in on her. Maybe he wouldn't...it was just a bit much.

She came out in to the bedroom and he was putting on his PJs. His back was to her and she admired his form. She smiled some and started to take off her bra. She did so without removing her shirt at all. She changed in to her silk shorts and small Tee without showing much skin at all. When she turned around he was staring at her. His eyes were so hungry. She knew what he wanted. Hadn't he waited long enough?

She pulled down her side of the bed and climbed in. It was soft like she had never felt. She laid back flat and opened her legs and arms...nope never meet the side. Larry laughed at her childish expression. He got in the bed with her after turning on his lamp and the overhead off. He opened his arms and she snuggled up to him. He felt good. Different but good. She immediately compared him to Alex and felt pissed at her self for doing it. He was hard where Alex was soft. His smell was all...Larry, musky and like mowed grass. He scooted down in the bed and turned to kiss her. She willed herself to relax in his arms.

She enjoyed the kiss, it was sweet and long. He stroked her face gently. Yet Piper pulled back and started to cry. He pulled her in to a hug."It's okay. I've been reading, all the books say it takes time to adjust. I even talked to your penpal Joe. He told me you may not be in the mood for awhile and to let you take the lead."

"Joe said that?" Piper asked sniffling.

"Yeah, it's alright baby." He crooned. Piper nuzzled his neck and closed her eyes. He reached over and turned off the light.

"I'm so grateful to have you Larry." she said to him in her sleepy voice. He told her not to worry about it and settled in to sleep holding her. That lasted about thirty minutes before Piper had to push away. She was too hot, had too much room...and the room was terribly dark. He had slipped off to sleep, she could tell by his breathing. She got up and went to the bathroom. She turned on the light, then came back to the bed. It was better with the lights on. She turned on her side and imagined being Alex's little spoon. Finally she drifted off to sleep.

She awoke with a start at 3AM, so afraid Alex would get caught in her bed. She turned and felt herself getting sick when where she was hit her all at once. She fought back her nausea and tried to go back to sleep. She did well until about 4:30 AM when her nightmare returned. Alex was in the dryer again but she was shooting up with heroin. Her face was bloody but she kept telling Piper I was fine, she'd be fine, just go on and leave her in there. Piper awoke screaming her name and trying to hit an imaginary door. She connected with Larry's chest as he tried to hold her. She felt panic rise and kicked her way out of the bed and ended up in the corner.

"Piper PIper..it's me it's okay," he said turning on the lamp. Piper looked around the room and waited on her heart to calm. He sat there very still and kept saying her name. "Piper, it's me, You're home now..it's okay."

She nodded and walked back to the bed. "I'm sorry...I should have told you I have...sorry I'm not used to.." she couldn't really speak it all out. His body in the bed had scared her.

"It's okay. Just lay back down, the alarm doesn't go off for a few hours, maybe you can fall back to sleep." He offered. She nodded and turned so her back was to him. He cut off the light and laid down on his back. She waited quietly and eventually he fell back to sleep. Piper just stared in to the bathroom light and waited on the dawn.

**told you it would go a bit faster, I hope you've enjoyed this day. I really can't believe I've written so much today! I tell you, it is the reviews that urge me on! Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. Please keep reviewing, Peace, Faecym***


	47. Chapter 47 Calls, Walks and Hooch

Piper got up before Larry and made him coffee. It was so nice to smell it brewing. She enjoyed her own cup while he was in the shower. He came out and she offered to fix him breakfast. He said there would be breakfast at the meeting. He did enjoy the coffee. He showed her some things, her new phone, her wallet with money and where the keys were to the car. He apologized for having to leave on her first day back but he couldn't get out of this work. He told her that Polly would be over soon and kissed her on the cheek.

"I'm sorry about last night. I didn't want you to know but I've not been sleeping well for weeks." Piper began.

"It's understandable. You were screaming at Alex that you couldn't open it...you begged her to stop. Do you remember the dream?" he asked gently.

Piper shook her head. She did but she didn't want to share it...not now and not with him.

"Don't worry it isn't like a wet dream or anything, it's just anxiety. I'm sure they'll pass with time." Piper said. He said he wasn't worried but left right afterwards. Piper thought about what she could do. She could do anything if she wanted. She could go for a walk or a run in Prospect Park. It was amazing all the possibilities. However, what she did was clean her kitchen and wait on Polly to get there. Polly knocked and came right in..Piper took off her gloves and looked at Polly.

"Where is Finn?" Piper said, looking around her for the carrier.

"He is with Pete today. You'll see him tonight at dinner." she said to her. Then she opened her arms. Piper was disappointed not to see him but thrilled to be able to hug on Polly as much as she wanted. So they hugged and cried in her foyer. Finally Polly said she couldn't cry anymore without coffee. Piper went in the kitchen and made her some. She asked if she'd eaten and she hadn't. Piper made them some eggs and toast. It was really great to be cooking again. She felt decadent eating this early and not on the Prison time.

"So how was your first night?" Polly asked. Piper knew she wanted to know if they had made love.

"We cuddled and I had a nightmare." Piper said flatly when she placed Polly's food before her. They sat at the bar and eat quietly for a moment.

"You've been having them awhile. You consider maybe sleeping pills?" she suggested. PIper shook her head then looked up perplexed.

"How did you know I've been having night." she began but Polly's phone rang. She took the call and then handed it to Piper.

For the first time PIper heard "An Inmate From Litchfield Correctional Facility Would Like to Make a Collect Call". Her eyes got wide and Polly had to prompt her to press the one button.

She did and greeted her. "Alex? Baby?" Polly just smiled and ate her eggs.

"Yeah it's me, Kid. I'm calling you before the breakfast line starts. Polly said she'd be coming over." Piper started to cry. Her voice was like salve to her soul.

"You called," she said, "and you've been talking to Polly. I hope you two were nice." Piper glared at Polly and Polly just shrugged. Piper clutched the phone.

"Yes she hardly called me Super Cunt and I didn't curse her out for making me think you were dead. So it was all good. NO I've called her a few times to check on you. It is so nice to hear your voice." Alex said with a trembling voice. "I thought I could do this..keep my word to him about speaking to you, but ...I can't."

"Good. I need to know you are okay. How.." Piper moved in to the living room. Polly stayed and just sipped her coffee. "How is it going with Dawson?" she asked.

"I can't really talk about that. Everything is fine. I've mailed off what I was supposed to by the way. It is all set up." she said vaguely. Piper knew Roger was meeting her during her lunch hour. She referred to Piper as Paula when they talked. It was all so cloak and dagger but Piper appreciated the effort they both made to keep her out of trouble.

"Yes, it is all set up. I can't wait. The halfway house was not great. The nights were even louder than prison. Work was my saving grace," she said. Alex asked her about her work and she told her all about her marketing job. She spoke about the young men she worked with and how they wanted details of prison.

"What how to fuck in the shower without getting caught?" Alex snarked.

"No, they ask about violence, routine, what I could or couldn't do, things like that." Piper supplied. But she remembered their showers that last week. "It is all good natured. I feel very welcome there."

"And last night...how did that go?" Alex asked in a small voice.

Piper took a breath, she knew what she was asking, " Larry picked me up...I ate Pizza really late at night, one piece just for you. Lombardi's Pizza, the best." she said sweetly.

"How did you sleep?" Alex prompted. Piper knew she was worried about her nightmares. Still she didn't want to hurt her.

"I didn't not well. I had...another nightmare. I hit Larry and ended up in the corner. It hadn't been so bad I had to get up in a long while, but his body felt.."Piper couldn't continue. Polly walked over and sat beside her on the couch. Piper reached out and clutched at her hand. "Polly thinks I need sleeping pills."

"Maybe you do...I do think maybe some counseling would help. Don't feel bad about getting up out of bed, you gotta learn to do things over again. Before long it will be normal." Alex offered.

Piper wondered if she'd ever feel normal again. What was normal? "No, maybe...it's you. I keep seeing you in that fucking dryer...last night you were shooting up.." Piper whispered. Alex cursed on the other line.

"I'm clean Piper, I've not touched anything since before I got in here. I went through withdraw in Vermont jail. I'll never do that again. Okay? Don't worry about me doing that." she said.

Piper sighed, "It is an irrational fear. I saw girls doing it at the halfway house and it just.."

"What? What the fuck kinda place is that?" Alex said in an angry voice. Piper winced.

"It sucked okay. But I'm done with it. I am on probation officially." She tried to sound more cheerful.

"So what do you have planned today then?" Alex asked, also trying to be more upbeat.

"Um I'm going to take a bath...eat left over pizza, walk with Polly in the neighborhood, go running in Prospect Park and organize my cabinets." Piper said. She had just thought through her day. "Oh and when Larry gets back I'm going to meet my godson!" She added excitedly.

"Oh kid, that is the best news I"ve heard in a month." Alex said. She heard voices in the background.

"Is that Nicky?" Piper asked excited.

"Yes she told me to tell you to go to Coney Island soon and have a dog for her." Alex answered, then she told them she'd be right in. Piper looked at the clock and felt panic rising. She knew Alex had to go if she wanted to get anything hot for breakfast.

"Tell her I will next week. Um, are you going to call me again?" she asked swallowing her fear. Alex was quiet.

"Yes. I'm a weak punk but I can't take it." Alex said back. Piper smiled big and Polly chuckled.

"Are you eating? Are you holding it down?" PIper asked her much the same litany of questions she sent via Roger when she was the one away.

"Yes and yes...Sister Ingalls watches like a hawk." Alex replied.

"Oh I read your note, standing in the lake on the other side. It was cold but it helped. I read them often and it helps." She said to her. Alex said she was glad. She heard an officer speaking, was it Bell. Piper clutched Polly's phone.

"I gotta go, Kid." she said. Piper nodded then remembered she couldn't see her. "You'll arrange it with Polly right? You'll call again?" she asked again.

"Yes. Oh and your pillow and blanket still smell like you. It helps me sleep." Alex said gently, "I'll...see you soon," she said and then there was a dial tone.

Piper handed the phone back to Polly and leaned back. She was okay. She was healthy and eating...and not sick or in a dryer. She took Polly's hand and held it.

"I'll never know what I did to deserve you but damn I got lucky. Thank you." Piper blinked tears out of her eyes and had to wipe her face with her free hand.

Polly looked at her a moment then, nodded her head, "Pipes, my dear friend, you are totally and utterly in love with her. I think more now than before. I don't know if this is a good thing or not. I feel kinda bad about Larry, but I'm more worried about your well being. She and I talked and we both decided that hearing from her...at least for now, would help you the most." Polly answered.

"I don't want you to feel like you are helping me cheat on Larry. When he made that demand about not seeing her...I thought I could do it. Now I now I can't." Piper whispered.

"Two years. You think you can do this for two years?" Polly pressured her, clearly not believing Piper could maintain it for that long.

"I have no fucking choice Polly. I love her. I love him. He is here and she is there. I'm torn no matter what I do, but the only way I feel normal or even on ounce of happiness is to know she is okay." Piper tried so hard to explain. Polly nodded and sighed.

"Let's go for that walk." she said, pushing Piper to go get on some clothes.

That night she met Finn. She held him and played with him and totally ignored everyone else in the room. She fell in complete love with him. Larry had stood in for her at his christening. He was his Godfather. Piper even fed him his dinner, changed his diaper and put him down to sleep. Polly said she could get used to it. After he was asleep, she sipped her wine and picked at her dinner. She listened to them talk about things she didn't quiet get. She would ask about certain people and Larry would explain if she knew them or not. She nodded and recalled the person with some prompting. She knew her friends that visited or wrote but other acquaintances seemed distant. She finished her wine and Polly poured her another glass. She was a bit tipsy.

"I guess it has been a long while since you've drank, Pipes." Pete said. "You'll get her sloshed on two glasses, love she always was a light weight."

"Actually the last time I got drunk it was from toilet hooch. That shit knocked me on my ass." Piper recalled and laughed. Larry wanted to know what it taste like. She told them about it, the bottle, color and how it tasted like a cross between cheap bourbon and that moonshine Cal brought over for Easter that time.

"Was it a special occasion or did you just decided to get drunk on contraband alcohol?" Polly asked. Piper's face fell.

"Uh no, a girl died, Tricia...it was her wake I guess. The guards let us be for one night." she looked up and saw their faces, she explained, "She hung herself or OD'd either way, she killed herself." Piper explained. Everyone got quiet. Piper just drank more of her wine. Larry reached over and kissed her softly. Piper smiled at him.

He raised his glass, " To Tricia," he saluted. Piper repeated it and took another sip. She was truly blessed. They finished up and walked home. It was so nice to walk the streets at night.

"No lights out..no curfew! I could do this all night," she said to him, laughing out and twirling on the street. He pulled her out of the path of a couple walking on the sidewalk.

"Um yes you are definitely feeling that wine. Might I offer my arm, madam?" He said. Piper took his arm and they walked around for a few hours. Finally they ended up back at their apartment. He brought her inside and locked up. It was late. She kicked off her shoes and laughed because she didn't have to put them in a locker. Larry followed her in to the bedroom and started to get undressed. Piper grabbed her night clothes and went to the bathroom. She then stopped. She turned and pulled off her clothes changing by her closet. She didn't need to hide her body. She was trying hard to get used to privacy. She turned on the bathroom light and went to get in bed. Larry was pulling off his socks and went to brush his teeth. He turned it off as he came out.

"Could you ..leave it on?" she asked, "It's too dark in here." Larry said sure and turned the light back on.

"I can get some nightlights if you want. Put them around the room?" Piper said that would be good. He got in the bed and she snuggled up to him. She wanted to try the kissing again.

"could you just let me...just lay there for me?" Piper asked shyly. He nodded. He seemed to have lost his voice. She climbed up on his body and felt his cock harden instantly. Her breath caught. She kissed him and cradled his face. This man...who loved her so well...who shared her for her own wellbeing. He was beautiful to her. She still felt the wine and it relaxed her enough to run her hand down his body, playing with the hair on this chest. She kissed him all the while and when her hand reached his cock she actually moaned.

He became emboldened and turned to press her down in the sheets. He kissed her harder and pressed his cock against her thigh. Piper felt panic rising. She felt his hand lock in her fingers, his big hand and she twisted away from him. Her heart racing a mile a minute. He stopped and pulled back from her. She gasped for breath and shuddered.

Larry looked down at her and said in the saddest voice she'd ever heard, "What happened to you, angel?" Piper just looked at him and shook her head. He didn't know about Henton and Dawson. He didn't know how she was beat, felt up and manhandled by sick men. She had never told him.

"I'm sorry." she began. She got up and went in to the bathroom. She sat on the toilet for awhile, then flushed and came back out. She wasn't crying but she was frustrated with herself. She got back in the bed and he asked if she was alright.

"I'll tell you more about it soon. I promise. I just need time and I know that isn't fair to you. I want to ..I really do but "she stuttered it all out not able to focus on what she wanted to say. He rubbed her arm and told her it was alright.

"Get some sleep, things will look better tomorrow," he offered. She turned away from him and said goodnight.

That night she woke at 4 AM, she didn't dream but felt she had overslept and need to go back to her bunk. She stared at the bathroom light again until sunrise and got up. She was very thankful for good coffee.

**I hope you like the new surroundings. thank you for your kind reviews...I will not change the POV to Alex's but I will be sharing what is going on, much like I did when she was in Chicago. Please review and as always, Peace, Faecym**


	48. Chapter 48 Call Me Sissy

Piper rose early and make breakfast. She brought it in to the bed with the papers and they sat reading for a few hours. It was the happiest time she'd had since she'd been back. After he finished with the sports page, he handed it over to her.

"Okay, what do you want to do today?" He offered to her as he finished his coffee. "I'd like to go to the hardware store and get your nightlights."

Piper thought about it. "That would be great. I'd also like to run in Prospect Park and maybe see a movie that is Rated R with sex and violence."

Larry laughed and hopped out of bed heading for the bathroom. "Um want to join me in the shower?" He offered at the door. Piper looked up a bit stricken.

"Um, no I'm going to wash the dishes," she said as she picked up the tray and carried it out of the bedroom. She took her time cleaning up then came in to the room as Larry was getting dressed. She went to take her own shower and turned it on. She closed the door and looked at the knob for a moment. She undressed and climbed in to the shower. The water was hot and she welcomed the pain. She couldn't believe how hot water was on the outside. She started to wash her hair and thought of how Alex would gently wash it with that harsh shampoo. Piper missed her hands on her body moving the small hotel bar of soap all over her. She thought to herself that she should have taken a bath so the memories weren't that fresh.

She stepped out of the shower and Larry walked in to the bathroom. She bent and dried her hair vigorously with the towel, then wrapped it around her body. He smiled and went to brush his teeth. She waited and did the same. Her new toothbrush was a bit too hard but she didn't say anything. It was sweet that he remembered to get her a new one. She wished things were easier between them.

"I'm sorry about..." Piper began, "you know..I think I am just adjusting to so many things right now I feel a bit like I'm walking around in someone else's life." She looked at him in the mirror and he looked back with an expression on his face she couldn't read.

"What can I do to help you with this because to be honest Piper, seeing you and not being able to ...well fuck is killing me," he said. Piper stared at him, filtering through her responses.

"I know," was all she managed.

They went to the hardware store. It was fun to see all the people out and about on their Sunday store trips. Piper showed Larry some of the things she learned, identifying different tools and electrical equipment. Larry picked up a tool belt and put it around Piper.

"Is this like the one you told me you had to wear?" He grinned at her as he asked. She looked down and nodded. It felt odd wearing it without the weight of the tools she had checked out with her tabs. Maybe it was just that she didn't have to worry about each one because if one got gone she was in deep trouble.

"Yes the color was different but same design," she answered.

He moved around checking her out, "It looks good on you," he appraised. Piper froze, she saw Alex standing before her saying the exact same thing. She remembered how it made her stomach flip and heart race because it was the first kind thing she'd said to her in a long while. Piper had fumbled her 'thank you' out and went to work on the dryer. While she was lost in the memory, Larry walked up and put his arms around her waist, pulling her to him so she pressed against him.

He whispered in a slow sensual tone, "Maybe we should get it and you can wear it.." Piper jerked and pulled away from him quickly and tore off the belt.

"I don't want to remember that with you. I mean, I've had to wear that for a year, I don't want to wear it for you or anyone else." Piper just blurted it out and then walked to the lighting isle for the night lights. Larry followed and approached her while she was trying to read a label. She couldn't focus and was breathing a bit fast.

"I'm sorry Piper, I wasn't thinking." Larry whispered and he tentatively put his hand on her back. Piper made herself relax.

"I like these, we only need two." She said but she reached out and took his hand. She smiled and they walked up to the register.

The week went well. Piper rode the subway in the morning to work. She saw her Probation officer and took her first piss test. She just couldn't wait until she was free of governmental control. On the subway, she wrote Alex. Roger would have Alex's letter by now and he will meet Piper later in the week to give it to her. She was thrilled to get them. She was also curious as to what name Alex put on the letters. She was using one of Roger's PO Boxes but was writing them addressed to someone else. Piper was careful when she wrote to never write something that identified her too much. She spoke about work in general terms, but mostly she wrote about missing her. The officers that read the letters could suspect they were writing but couldn't prove it. She made sure to purchase some nice stationary.

_Dear Alex, _

_Today I saw a couple kissing on the morning train. My day was just beginning while their night was ending. They were oblivious to everyone around them. He had taken off his jacket and places it around her. It made me think of all those late nights we walked back to our flat. Before the move to France, before we spent more time alone than together. No matter what we did or how crazy it became, I always knew you'd keep me safe and warm all the way home. _

_Who is keeping you safe and warm?_

Piper didn't sign any of these letters as she didn't know the name Alex had chosen for her. She wished they'd discussed it before she left. Piper's ease at hearing her voice had diminished when she realized laundry days had come and gone. Her mind would wonder to Alex and she'd worry that she got caught. She would search online site for the Newspaper nearest the town to see if there was any reports of Prison crime. She knew it was a long shot as nothing really ever got posted.

She met Roger at a restaurant smack in between their offices. He was sitting outside when she arrived and was on the phone. She approached him and bent to kiss his cheek. He offered it and then pressed a button on his phone. She sat herself and ordered a water from the approaching waiter that gave her the specials.

"Yeah Hi hun, how are you?" He began and she assumed he was talking to his new boyfriend, Chris. Piper ordered the salad. Her stomach was in knots to read Alex's letters. She didn't want anything heavy in case she was unable to finish. She fished out her own phone to check her messages while she waited on him to be free.

"Yes, I am, she is right here. Would you like to speak to her?" he asked. Piper looked up from her phone surprised. He laughed in to the receiver and handed her the phone.

Piper used her friendliest voice to say, " Hello, this is Pi.."

"I know who you are Kid, no sense saying it." Alex said quickly. Piper's eyes widened and Roger laughed out so that people turned to look.

"Oh Alex.." she began.

"Hey, it's good to hear your voice too. Fuck you've no idea how much." Alex said and her voice was so sweet that Piper actually sighed.

"Your voice is the best sound I've heard all week and that is saying a lot because I've listened to live Jazz out once and my iPod each day on the subway." Piper gushed.

"How are you doing? Eating well? How is the sleeping going?" Alex asked.

Piper felt she was also asking how sleeping with _Larry _ was going. "It is about the same I guess, I've not bolted from the bed to the corner again but I wake up earl_y _each night. I take a nap in the afternoon before I run. Hey um tell that running girl there that I run in the park and think of her." Piper added. Alex said she would.

"So any more thought to sleeping pills and counseling?"she asked. It was clear that Piper not getting sleep is a worry to her.

"I'm fine, baby. It's normal to have some issues adjusting to sleep. Larry bought some books and we talked to my pen pal about it. He said he mixed his days and nights up for awhile and even had to take the late shift at work." Piper tried to make it sound like nothing. She didn't want to add more to Alex's burdens.

"I don't agree Piper. You've had these nightmares since before you left. Since the garage incident," Alex said. Piper frowned at the reference.

"I'm fine. What about you? How is working in the laundry?" she asked in a tone that meant so much more.

Alex laughed, "Same as ever, I work with fucking morons and the dryers don't work half the time." Piper grimaced. She knew Alex couldn't mention anything else but she was worried.

"Anymore accidents with doors?" She inquired.

"No kid, no more of that. It is all worked out and I'm watch where I'm going." Alex said in a tone that urged her to drop the subject.

"Tell Nicky that I'm going to Coney Island Saturday just for her. How is she?" Piper asked this in what she hoped was a way that didn't say, "are you fucking her now I'm gone".

Alex laughed and Piper could see that smile she gets when she realizes Piper is being jealous. "She is fine, ecstatic that Morello can come visit next month. Seems some folks have short Probations and some have long Probations. The joy of our penal system, inequality abounds," Alex replied dryly. Piper felt better that Alex mentioned Lorna. She didn't want to know anything else but she did. Was there someone else? She saw a girl on the subway that looked like Joann. Piper couldn't help but imagine her joining Alex for her early morning showers. The thought made her nearly throw up her bacon scone.

"Ask me what you really want to ask, kid." Alex said to fill in the silence Piper's insecurities had wrought on the conversation. Piper's salad arrived just then and she made a point to speak to the waiter. Roger had ordered salmon and asparagus. It looked good.

"I should ask you like you asked me about my man and whether we are sleeping together yet?" Piper shot back once the waiter left. Roger lifted his brow but started to eat.

"I asked about your sleep. You know I...we talked about it."Alex hedged. It was harder to put it in to practice though. To be honest though, Alex had way more time to get used to the visions of Piper and Larry in her head that Piper had with her visions of Alex and any number of hot inmates.

"Are you with anyone?" Piper asked her quietly. She picked up her fork and played with her lettuce.

"No. I'm a fucking wreck over this girl that left a little while ago. People walk around me on eggshells and all I do is read. I'm reading, THIS TOWN, by Mark Leibovich. I like it. "she answered

Piper exhaled and took a bite of her salad. She chewed and then said, "I haven't done anything with him. I freeze up or actually push him away." Piper darted up and looked at Roger. He looked at her with real concern and she felt like she was exposing herself. She tried to remember this man had heard her at her worst on all those calls when Alex was testifying. He knew her better than most.

"I'm glad and not, if that makes sense." Alex said in a voice that was as conflicted as that statement. Piper understood exactly what she meant. Alex admitted to being a wreck and that made her want to make it alright. Yet she didn't want it to be someone else to make it alright. Still selfish, still Piper she thought.

Piper heard a voice in the background and looked at her phone for the time. Her time was up. "I gotta go kid. Tell Roger I'll call him later," she said.

"I will. I heart you, woman " she said in reply.

"And to think you once called me a pussy over that phrase." Alex teased, then she was gone. Piper whispered 'see you soon' in to the dead line. She gave the phone back to Roger and he put it in his pocket.

"You okay?" He started. Piper took a few bites of her salad. She felt better having heard her voice and just knew that would help.

"Yes, Goodbyes have never been our strong suit. She sounded happy to hear my voice."Piper said with a satisfied grin.

Roger snorted, "She has been really anxious to talk to you. Your nightmares weigh heavy on her mind. She's asked me to do some research for her. Listen, take this.."Roger reached in his pocket and pulled out a card. Piper took it and read: Dr. Jane Speer MD Psychiatrist. She looked up inquiring to him. "She helped me with Bob's death. She saved my life really. Her office isn't too far from here and she is affordable. She will see you if you wish."

"I'm not suffering from grief.." Piper began.

"Aren't you? Maybe not for the death of a loved one but you feel loss. Not to mention some post traumatic stress, if I'd hazard a guess." Roger stated.

Piper balked, "Oh are you an amateur psychiatrist as well as a publisher?" Roger looked at her with and expression that said, 'duh'.

"If you recall I was premed and quit after a year of med school because my mom died and I had to run my dad's business while he fell apart." Roger said in a flat tone. Piper recalled it then and felt like an ass.

"I'm defensive I'm sorry." She said and reached out to take his hand. "You are the best friend she or we have ever had."

Roger smiled and took her other hand in his, " Then let me tell you that you look like you've done a great job with her makeup but you're tired Piper. I can see the fatigue. You look healthy physically, in the best shape I've seen you in since I saw you all those months ago in the visitation room, yet you are tired and look like you've the whole world on those little shoulders. "

Piper knew she looked tired, especially by the middle of the week. She closed her eyes a moment. When she opened them she looked at him and said, "I didn't think it was going to be so hard without her. Everything is hard. I don't feel safe in my home, in my bed...I think about her all the time and I can't get used to things as simple as privacy. "

Roger let go of her hand and tucked her hair back. "Call her or talk to your friend, Super Bitch. I'm sorry I don't know her real name as Alex only refers to her by that moniker." Piper laughed out loud and Roger let go of her hands, using his manicured hand to urge her to eat. Piper took a few bites and sipped her water. "But you've got to talk to someone." He finished.

"Her name is Polly. The fact they have spoken and actually worked together so we could talk, is ...a miracle. " She felt really loved. Roger pushed his plate away, done with his meal. He reached in his laptop bag and brought out an envelop.

"I like this name. Much more interesting than "Polly" and very much Alex." He said with a grin as he handed her the envelop. It wasn't very thick but Piper knew she'd probably just send one letter.

The envelop was addressed to "Sissy Hankshaw" and the address was a PO Box. Alex had explained that Roger opened one for her to send items to that was close to one of his branch offices in Manhattan. Piper laughed out loud. She hadn't thought of _Even Cowgirls Get The Blues_ in years. She doubted any of the officers that would read over her mail would know or if they did make the connection. It was perfect. That was one of the first books Alex read to her. She had read _Skinny Legs and All _and Alex recommended that one. They had even rented the movie but Alex turned it off. She said the actress just bugged her. She gave him her envelop after putting the name and address in the return spot. It was in a scented envelop. He smelled it and waggled his brow.

"Thank you Roger. I'll...call the doctor." Piper said and he smiled.

"Good because when she calls me later, she is going to want to know exactly what you wore, how you looked, if you ate and on and on," he replied.

Piper wished she had someone to ask those questions to about Alex. They parted with a hug and she put the letter in her purse. She wanted to read it but she didn't want to take the chance of anyone seeing it at work. She had surprise visits at work and she never knew when her PO would stop by to check on her. She waited until she was on the subway and tore open her letter.

_Hey Kid, _

_It is amazing how places you've visit each day can become traps of depression. There are certain places I just can't go now. I think of you all the time. I walk around in a haze of angered loss. I've felt it before but this time I know that the reason I'm sad, is a selfish one. No one left me because they chose to..I was left because they had to. Please know that makes it bearable to me. _

_I've been thinking about a conversation we had. I told you being with me meant you just go with the wind, no plans. Yet I find all I think about is what I'm going to do when I'm out of here. I've tried so hard not to think about that. I've been glib, talked about how I was good at my job before I was arrested. I've shrugged away the reality. Now though, when I think about what you're doing, all I can think about is life after Litchfield. It scares me, kid. My thoughts get jumbled and I wish my best friend was here to talk me through it. You know the one, the Park Slope narcissist that has the most amazing mouth on the planet. _

_I miss that mouth. I miss it all. I eat each day and Nicky has been helping me stay positive in her own way. Sister Ingalls watches me at meals. It is kinda like when my mom would worry about me when we'd visi t her, remember? She kept trying to get me to get off my laptop and eat another helping. I wish I had. _

_Thinking of you each day and you know I dream of you at night. _

_I heart you-A_

Piper read it a few more times then clutched it to her chest. She would write her back tomorrow and meet Roger to give it to him. She got to her apartment and went to her bedroom. She put it with the rest of her notes in her drawer and curled up on the soft mattress. She imagined Alex sitting in the yard under their tree. She was reading a book. Slowly Piper fell in to a good deep sleep that she didn't awake from screaming.

**I'd like to thank all of you for your reviews. I love to read how people binge read the story. Let me know by reviewing if you'd like more this weekend. Peace, Faecym***


	49. Chapter 49 Sometimes You Need Your Mom

Piper was uneasy at bed time. She had taken to pretending she had extra work and going to bed late. Larry would snuggle her and it was nice. However, she was very aware that he woke up with a raging hard on each morning. On Saturday morning, she'd been awake since 3AM and he was moaning her name. She turned on her light and watched him dream. She felt so bad and so useless to him. When he started to stir, she reached over and touched his cock. He jerked somewhat awake. Piper pushed down his PJs and felt him against her palm. He was always a gentle lover so she was gentle with him. He was half awake up his hips thrust forward in her hand. He had waited so long for her and the Piper he got back was torn in two and broken. She used her free hand to wipe the tears.

He opened his eyes and grunted with lust. It didn't take long and he came, shooting it up on to the sheet that covered his lower body. He shivered a bit and blinked looking at her. She smiled and bent to kiss him good morning. Larry put his arms around her and rose up crushing her to his chest in a passionate kiss. Piper tensed in his arms but forced herself to relax and return his kiss. He murmured how much he loved her and pressed her down in to the bed. His hands were all over her. She fought it so so hard but the panic started to rise.

"Please...Larry...stop," she said to him in a shaking voice.

"It's okay, let me do the same for you. Oh Piper please I want to feel you," he mumbled and kissed her again as his hands pushed her shorts down. Piper pushed against him harder this time and turned her head to the side.

"Stop it. I can't...STOP!" she shouted. Larry pulled himself up with a jerk. His eyes were wide and followed Piper as she scrambled out of bed.

"I...can't I'm fucking trying Larry." Piper went to the bathroom and closed the door. She washed her hands and face. After a about ten minutes she came out. He was changing the sheets so she went over to help.

"I didn't mean to ...I thought since you woke me up that way.." Larry tried to explain.

Piper nodded. "It's okay. I know you'll always stop. I know that and trust that." Piper burst in to tears and he came over to hold her. She relaxed in to his comfort. They have been a couple for six years if she didn't count the break up at Christmas. She knew he was good man.

"I have to go in again today. You're going to see your mom and go to Coney Island with Polly right? Maybe we can go out dinner tonight. I'll take you to listen to some more music. You liked that, right?" He said all hopeful. Piper nodded and wiped her eyes. She made him some eggs and coffee while he showered. She got ready while he ate. He kissed her goodbye and out the door he went.

Once alone Piper went to her room and reread Alex's letter. It calmed her. Her mom arrived and Piper made her a cup of coffee. She wanted to take Piper shopping but she jsut wasn't sure she could handle it.

"I don't think I can do shopping...but I have something else I'd like to ask you." Piper said. Her mom moved to the couch and sat sipping her coffee. Piper sat beside her and automatically straightened her posture before her mom could tell her to sit up.

"What is it dear?" she asked. Her mom reached out and pushed some of Piper's wet hair behind her ear. Piper marveled at the small show of affection. She smiled and kissed her mom's hand. She saw her blink and then she focused on her coffee.

"First, I want to thank you for helping us with my commissary. Also, Larry said you paid our phone bill. I had no idea how expensive it was to call each time." Piper said in a way to explain. Her mom waved her hand dismissing it. "I most likely wouldn't have called as much if I'd known and I know that is why you paid it without telling me." Piper stiffened a bit and her mom just placed her cup down.

"You are too proud at times Piper. You get it from your father I think." Her mom often said such things. Piper just smiled and nodded.

"I think I need some help Mom. A good friend has given me a doctor's card...a psychiatrist. I think she can help me adjust to being back and maybe I can sleep better." Piper said this gently. She wasn't sure how her mom would react to Piper in therapy. Sometimes she worried more about the stigma than the problem.

She surprised her, "I think that is a great idea. Have the bill sent to me. You obviously will not let me update your wardrobe so maybe this will help." Piper smiled and hugged her mom. She hugged Piper harder than she ever had before. Piper closed her eyes and enjoyed it while it lasted. "You aren't sleeping dear, I can see it. Maybe she can help you with that."

They went for a walk and her mom told her about her Uncle Winston. Piper loved him. He had sent her a bunch of books while she was gone. He didn't visit but he wrote the best letters. She said he was going to sublease his place and move permanently to Boca Raton. Her mom never understood how anyone could leave New York permanently for anywhere but the Hamptons.

When they got back, Polly and Finn were on the stoop. She had forgotten her key. Piper watched her mother gush over Finn and felt bad. She so wanted grandchildren. She was proud though, she didn't make one dig about Piper's declining fertility. After she left, Polly told her she looked like shit.

"I know...but he doesn't mind," she said holding Finn up and tickling his belly with her nose. He laughed and it was so enchanting that Piper actually sighed.

"I mind. You can't keep going on like this. Did you get your letter this week?" Polly asked her as she helped herself to some coffee.

"Yes! It was great. I've read it a dozen times already. I gave him my letters to mail and I've composed another in reply to hers. She even called me while we were together." Piper smiled as she said it and made a goofy face at Finn.

"Cool, she usually calls me during Finn's nap time. I never know when. She has called once a week though. Pete almost answered one time but I handed him Finn instead. He knows something is up but isn't saying anything about it. He has always been smart about not getting between us." Polly said this as she bent down and kissed Piper's head. Piper looked up and gave her a big smile.

"I'm lucky to have you. Now, I want to go and have some fun today. Let me put some make up on to hide the rings under my eyes. Here you go, Mama." She said as she handed Finn over. They left and went off to enjoy their day. She forgot how good a hotdog tasted. She caught Polly just watching her throughout the day. Piper would find joy in the most simple things but more so than that, Piper felt Polly was trying to convince herself that her friend was alright.

They made it back to the Apartment an hour before Larry was due home. Polly was changing Finn's diaper when her phone rang. "Pipes get that please, it is probably Pete saying he is going for a pint after his baseball game."

Piper looked at the phone and it wasn't Pete. It was an unknown number from Litchfield, NY. Her hands shook as she took the call. "Alex? Hey it's me, Polly is with Finn. Is something wrong?" Piper knew Alex didn't call Polly on a weekend.

"You can say that. I had a visitor today. Larry." Alex said in a voice teeming with emotion. Piper sat down stunned. Polly put Finn in his carrier and came over to sit beside her.

"No..no he is at work. He told me.." Piper realized he had lied. He drove to Litchfield and saw Alex.

"Yeah well he lied. He wrote me this week asking to be put on the list. He said he had to tell me something about you. He came in and was fine..but he wanted to know everything that happened to you. He said you have nightmares and were frigid with him. "Alex took a breath and exhaled.

Piper closed her eyes and rubbed her temple. Polly was asking what was going on. She took the phone and put it on speaker.

"Hey Alex, you're on speaker..I'm here with her. What happened?" Polly asked. Piper leaned against her. Alex repeated that he came and wanted to know details of what happened to Piper.

Piper said, "What did you tell him?" she felt the fear clutch at her throat.

"I told him it was your story to tell and he shouldn't push you to be intimate with him. He...the stupid fuck...accused me of forcing myself on you." Alex was fuming. The tone of her voice was one that Piper recognized all too well.

"Fuck, what did you do?" she asked.

"I told the fuck he should keep his hands off of you until you are better and get you some fucking help. I told him to grow up and stop blaming everything on me. I told him I tried, fuck I tried so hard to keep you safe." Alex stopped talking and Piper knew she was crying. Polly clutched Piper and Alex continued. "He went off and the guards removed him from visitation. They may revoke my privs for awhile, I'm seeing my counselor on Monday about it. I'm scared for you."

"Don't be baby, he'd never hurt me. He isn't like them. I don't know what happens...I try. I'm fine then he gets too close and I feel ...like I'm in that fucking laundry bin being used as a cum rag," Piper gasped out and Polly cursed under her breath.

"Calm down , kid. You aren't there. You got that fucker...it's over but you've got to talk to someone." Alex murmured in to the receiver.

Polly spoke up, "She is...she is calling a doctor on Monday." Piper nodded and looked at Polly. She realized then that Polly knew something had happened to her. Polly didn't meet her eyes and Piper felt her stomach twist.

"Are you okay otherwise? Don't..ever agree to see him again. I'll handle him, he'll not see you again. I'm sorry Alex, you think they'll pull your priveleges? It wasn't your fault he was like that." Piper reasoned.

Alex snorted, "You know it doesn't matter. Maybe not, it depends on what they report. There were other guards hanging about, more than normal. I think they wanted to see what would happen, they read the letters, they knew he was coming." Piper knew their pain was like a TV show to the fuckers.

" I gotta go, there is a line today. Just..be careful. He was irate. Um tell him a guard, Fischer called to see if he got back okay "Alex advised. Even as pissed off as she was she could find away to lie and cover up their connection.

"Please not yet, please Baby. Tell me something good. I read this great letter the other day. It is amazing and I'm going to respond in true correspondence fashion. How are you doing? I mean besides having an arugment with Larry. He didn't touch you right? Did they restrain you?" Piper kept thinking of what could have happened.

"No, no, nothing like that. Bennett pulled him back and O'Neil picked me up and pulled me to the door. He was um keeping me from knocking Larry in to next week...but he didn't put me down. He even said he understood if I knocked his fuckin' block off." Alex replied and Piper could hear the officer in the background threaten to pull her PAC if she didn't get off the line. "I gotta go, kid. I heart ya." The line went dead.

Piper handed Polly back her phone. She looked at the clock. She figured how long it would have taken Alex to get through the search and call. It pissed her off to know she had to be searched just to so Larry could berate her. Polly sat back on the couch.

"So, he fucked up," Polly began, "but he is really worried about you Pipes. I know he should have spoken to you but he is desperate." Polly tried to defend him and Piper took her by the hand.

"I was attacked. I wasn't raped but he did..other things. Also, I nearly beat a woman to death who tried to kill me and my counselor let it happen. Then I was patted down and manhandled. They would do it in front of Alex." She swallowed and didn't go on. Polly hugged her close and didn't speak. Piper was thankful.

**One time Piper had witnessed Alex with one of the higher ups in the organization. Usually she sent Piper out if they came by or she left Piper in the hotel. She was going to go shopping and went back to get her sunglasses. He wasn't the normal guy but an older gentleman. He had a firm hold on Alex's arm and she looked scared. Piper walked in to the room.**

**"I forgot my sunglasses. I see your Uncle found you." Piper had smiled at him. He dropped her arm and Alex acted normal. **

**"Yes he did. Here you go babe, don't forget them again. Buy me something sweet." She kissed her on the cheek and pushed her gently towards the door. Piper smiled at him and he had smiled back. She left but stayed below in the lobby. When she saw him leave she headed straight back up to the room. She opened the door and rushed inside. Alex was closing her laptop and looked up at Piper. She could tell she wanted to yell at her for coming back up but Piper had looked so scared. **

**Piper walked over to her and dropped to her knees beside her at her desk. She leaned in and put her head in her lap. Alex stroked her hair gently, "It's okay Pipes. I pissed him off by doing things my way. We talked. He said you were beautiful and I was smart to use beautiful girls. He listened to me and still wants me to go back to the way he prefers but he understands I'm not trying to take over his job. Don't do that again. If you want more to do, I'll give it to you but don't mess with the upper management." Piper didn't respond, she just clutched to Alex. **

**Alex stood and looked down at her. She pulled Piper up by her arms and they fell forward on the bed. She practically ripped off Piper's clothing. When Piper tried to touch her, she pushed her hands down and held them. Soon Piper knew that Alex wanted to take what she offered. Her eyes were dark with remnants of fear and adrenaline. She used three fingers fast, impaling Piper in one thrust. She was soaked already and took her with ease. She was always ready for Alex. She closed her eyes and arched her back.**

**"No, look at me..look at who fucks you Piper. Look at me and remember." Alex had grunted out. Piper opened her eyes and watched her as she pumped her to orgasm. **

Polly left after Piper assured her that she would be fine talking with Larry alone. Piper called her mom as well and then did what she had to do. Larry came in and called out, "I'm home, Pipes. You ready for dinner?"

He stopped when he saw her standing in the kitchen and her bag beside her. He put his bag down and walked up to her.

"You going somewhere?" He asked.

"I'm moving out. A guard from the Prison called. She was always nice, you remember her, Fischer? She was worried about you. It seems you were thrown out of the visitaton room. I can only assume you went to speak to Alex. " Piper was eerily calm.

He ran his hand through his hair. "I only did it because you wont talk to me Piper. Something happened to you, something other than just serving your time. You won't talk to me or let me touch you sexually. I figured she did something to you or maybe she'd just tell me what happened. I got pissed. She woudln't say, kept saying to ask you or give you time. Fuck Piper, I lost it. I'm sorry, don't go." He started to plead and put his hands up on her shoulders. Piper stepped back.

"No. You lied to me. You lied to me about Alex, you used what I told you on your radio interview. You lied to me today about where you were going and went to see Alex. Oh and you promised me you'd not visit her again."Piper said in a dead pan voice.

"Oh so I'm a liar. What about you Piper? What happened to you? Did she rape you? What hold does she have on you?" He was in her face as he said it. She reached out and pushed him back hard.

Piper clenched her jaw and took a breath. "I know you love me. But she never..." Piper swallowed. "She never hurt me as much as you did today. Not even when she asked me to carry a bag full of money. She gave me a choice and I made it. You didn't give me time to feel safe enough to talk about what happened to me."

"Please Piper, where will you go? Come on we can't work through this apart. Six years Piper please don't throw it away." His voice broke and she closed her eyes. She put her hand on his head and he looked up.

"I can't be here now. I can't handle the guilt of not being the Piper you want right now. I'm going to get help Larry. I will still see you...we can work on us if you want to, I just can't live here with you. I don't know you anymore, I don't know myself. But I do know that I have to be alone for awhile to figure it out." Piper tried to keep her voice even.

Larry wiped his face and said, "I want to still..I mean can we see each other? I just got you back." Piper was about to answer when the doorbell rang. She walked over and opened the door to her mother. She came in and looked at Larry.

"This your bag honey? I'll send Martha over to get more of your clothes." She said in a polite tone. Larry snorted and rubbed his face.

"For years you've rejected everything from her and now you run to her...now her maid will clean out your closet. Well, little girl lost. Don't forget to get permission to move to Connecticut Piper. You're still on parole," he reminded her.

Piper said flatly, "I'm not leaving New York. I'm just moving in to a sublet. Mom arranged it and yes I've always rejected her help but I need her, " Piper said and her mother walked over and put her arm about her waist.

"She will call you when she is ready Larry. Until then, leave her alone or so help me you'll regret it."She said with such venom Piper was flabbergasted. They walked out of the apartment and she heard Larry yell and throw something at the door. Piper jumped and looked back.

"No, no dear, let him rage. It's time you take care of yourself for awhile. I'll help, Polly will help so will Uncle Winston. It'll be okay. Come on, I have a car waiting." Her mother said gently as she led Piper down the steps to the waiting care below.


	50. Chapter 50 Keep Passing Those

Piper couldn't leave the Brooklyn area without speaking to her parole officer. Fortunately, her Uncle's place as in Boerum Hill area. It added ten minutes to her morning commute. Uncle Winston was almost moved out and was very helpful to Piper. He agreed to keep all the utilities in his name. Piper didn't have her own account yet. She didn't even have her own cell phone. She was in shock over what leaving him meant for her life. She almost went back to him twice on Sunday but her mother was stern.

"No, this is the first thing you've done for you since you got out. You need this time. We'll take care of everything. " Her mother said as she made a list. It was so final, so true. She went to her parole officer and gave him the new address. He didn't comment much. She guessed to him she went from one affluent neighborhood to another. Polly and her mother helped her with switching all of her accounts over. She was pretty much in shock but they took care of everything for her. She asked Polly not to tell Alex she had moved out. She explained that Alex had dealt enough with her shit on the outside and she had the right idea not to hear about Larry.

She sat in her new room, her uncle left Sunday night to stay with her mom when Piper asked for some privacy. She took that time to write Alex a new letter.

_Dear Alex, _

_I took care of the problem with my man. You need never worry about that again. I'm getting help as well so please put that from your mind. We'll not discuss it again. I agree with what you first said that we shouldn't discuss him in anyway. _

_You are right. You weren't left behind because someone chose to leave. I've discovered though that a person can exist with part of the soul locked away from them. I'm trying to figure out how to live and not just exist. I'm really trying, baby. I think you'd be proud._

_I want you to know that you can do anything with your life. I want you to know not matter it is you will excel. I will be your sounding board. Any ideas you want to share, I'll listen and try and offer sound advice. As much as it pains me to say it, you've got a good friend on the inside as well. She is smart enough to keep up with you and cynical enough to keep it interesting. Just, you know, if it becomes more then it does. _

_I will not pretend that is okay to me. _

_I miss everything about you not just your mouth. I miss hands that seem to know how to comfort or ignite me. I miss the shelter of your arms. It is like I can't find a safe place in my own skin unless you stroke it. I remembered something the other day. That day in Paris when I went back to get my sunglasses. I was so scared for you and the fear turned to passion. You made me look in to your eyes. I will cling to that memory each night._

_I am getting help, just like Super bitch said. I promise you. _

_Always thinking of you, _

_Sissy _

Piper put the letter in one of the envelopes she had filled out with the appropriate addresses. Then she put it in a bigger manila envelope and put Roger's name on it. She got off the subway a block or two up and dropped it off to his office as they had planned. Monday, she called the doctor on her lunch break and made an appointment for the next day. She had actually slept through the night and felt somewhat rested. The apartment took two floors of a brownstone and it was even more quiet than her apartment with Larry. Piper kept the lights on and was able to sleep until the alarm. She had half convinced herself not to go to the doctor but she couldn't lie to Alex. She had told her mom and Polly as well.

She found Dr. Speer to be very sweet. She smiled and had blonde hair that seemed to escape from her bun on its own accord. Yet her mind was sharp and she immediately put Piper to ease.

"So Roger referred you. He told me only that you were returning from a prison sentence. I must admit you weren't what I expected."She said honestly. This helped Piper to trust her.

"Yeah, I made a mistake and went to prison for it." Piper said.

She took notes on an iPad. "I will take notes during our sessions. They are private and only for me. Tell me Piper, why would you and your friends think you needed my help ?" She asked this in a kind voice. Piper sat in a chair across from her. There was a couch. She thought she'd be on the couch but it was nice not to be such a cliché.

"I'm not sleeping. I have dreams most nights. I slept last night. I left my boyfriend of six years. " she wasn't sure what to say. She knew she was jumping around.

"Do you remember your dreams?" the doctor asked. Piper shrugged. She then sat up and sighed because she knew that wasn't an answer.

"Most of the time yes. They are relatively the same. I dream of Alex being hurt or hurting herself and I can't get to her. Before that...I would dream of things that happened to me. Sometimes those come back or they get mixed up. " Piper stumbled to explain.

"Is Alex your boyfriend?" the doctor asked her.

"No, no she is my..."Piper stopped speaking. She saw the doctor make a note. She imagined it was something like "Alex is a female". Dr. Speer waited patiently for her to continue. "Alex is my love. I've loved her since I was 23 but there for awhile we didn't see each other. I left her and that life, it was then I got with Larry, my boyfriend. See, Alex was a drug dealer and I was her girlfriend. She helped me make my mistake and now she's still in prison."

"So you have anxiety over her circumstances. I can give you a prescription to help you sleep but we can try just talk therapy first. Why don't you start from the beginning and tell me about how you met?" she prompted.

Piper took a deep breath and started, "I was looking for a job..."

Piper set up her sessions for twice a week. She called Larry on Friday of the first week and told him information about her account at the bank. She had figured out what was hers and asked him to sign to have it transferred. He had begged her to see him and talk. Polly told her he'd been drinking quite a bit and his Dad had been staying with him. She agreed they could talk on the phone but told him she had started therapy and she didn't want to do anything to make it worse. She had slept two nights that week and she was taking it as a small victory.

Cal came to see her on the weekend. She was very happy to see her little brother. He didn't bring Neri but said she was visiting a sick Aunt. "I'm sorry about Larry but he was being a dick." Cal said after they hugged their hellos and Piper invited him in to the apartment.

"You know about Larry? I was going to call but I know you're friends, I figured he'd tell you." Piper began.

"Oh he did. I mean I'm sorry I slugged him. Well, no I'm not sorry I did it, just sorry if it caused you trouble." Cal tried to explain. Piper sat him down on the couch and sat on the table in front of him.

"Explain, little bro. from the beginning," she said. He told her that Larry came out mid week to see him and when he got there started tossing back beer. He said that she had left him because he went to see Alex to find out what was wrong with Piper.

"I told him that wasn't cool, that he was your boyfriend and if he wanted to know what was wrong with you he should ask you." Cal explained. Piper nodded and smiled at him. He said Larry didn't like that answer but kept going on about what Alex had said. "He told me he thought Alex had abused you or something, made you frigid or turned you against men. I told him to get his head out of his ass that you've always liked both and it must be something else." Cal frowned and shifted in his seat. Piper got up and went to the fridge. She found some of Uncle Winston's beer and brought her brother one.

"Thanks. Anyway, he said maybe you'd warm up to him if he just fingered and licked you. When I asked him to shut up about that he said you loved Alex more than him. I said if he was being such a big ass, who could blame you. " Call took a swig and Piper had to smile. It was so odd, her little brother defending her.

"Anyways, he made another comment about you being frigid and how he should have shagged anyone that would have had him while you were away. He called you a stupid cunt and I clocked him." Cal said as if it was a normal occurrence. "Neri drove him home and her Aunt Luce drove her back. I doubt he'll come visiting anytime soon. Don't worry I didn't tell him where you were. He thinks mom has put you up in a hotel in the city." Piper thanked him with a hug and a kiss.

"I don't know this Larry. He isn't the same man I've been with...or maybe he is and we just weren't tested the way we are now. I still love him. I just can't stand anymore pressure. I can't be the girlfriend he wants me to be." Piper admitted.

In typical fashion Cal said, "Why would you want to be? You just gotta be the best Piper you can manage. You are one of the strongest people I know. " Piper cooked him dinner and they talked for a few hours. He showed her some of his new work and she was blown away. He is so talented. She promised to come visit him once she got permission.

The weeks passed and Piper was thrilled to see Roger again for lunch. He was looking good. His dark hair, gray at the temple, had just been cut. Piper commented on how dashing he looked in his Armani suit. He gave her the letter and told her that Alex had lost her visitation priveleges for one week. Alex told him that was pretty good considering the fuss Larry had made. She apologized for Larry but he would hear none of it. Roger said he knew were blame was to be placed and they actually ordered before his phone rang. She didn't want to seem too hopeful but she was hoping it was Alex.

He smiled and pressed the button. "Oh good, she was about to wiggle out of that chair. Here you are, love," he said as he passed the phone over.

"Hey Alex, "Piper breathed in to the receiver. She had the biggest grin on her face.

"Hey back at you, kid. Oh fuck it is so good to hear your voice. I got the letter so I'll not say I was worried," she teased. Piper laughed softly in to the phone. She was shy suddenly and wasn't sure what to say first.

"I'm doing better. I'm doing what I need to for me. The doctor is great. I've only had a few sessions with her but I've been sleeping better. She gave me some pills but I've not used them. They're for sleeping, I remember what you said about how the sad pills made you feel. Still trading them for eyeliner?" Piper inquired.

Alex laughed softly, "Um not lately. No one to look my best for in here. Oh..guess who came to see Nicky yesterday?"

"No! Really? Did you see her?" Piper asked before she remembered Alex had lost her priveleges.

"No but Nicky told me all about her. She said she looked good and wanted to know all about what was going on with everyone. Nicky said she smelled amazing and talked about that for ten minutes. It kinda made me hate her a bit." Alex admitted. Piper wished she could give Alex something like that to talk about.

"I'm really happy for them. I so wish I could..." she began.

Alex sighed in to the phone, "yeah me too. So um..you said not to mention it but how did it go? Polly was rather closed lipped about it." She hedged.

Piper was prepared for this question as she'd thought about what to say to her over the last ten days. "We spoke cleared some things but are working on others. You don't want details or you didn't..has that changed?" Piper offered it to her. If Alex wanted to discuss Larry and her relationship she would do so...but it had to be Alex's decision.

"No. You're right. I'm done with that. You know when I read your letter I remembered that incident you mentioned from Europe. I remembered how I was so afraid you'd leave me...that you'd realize how fucked up my life was and leave me. I was so glad you didn't."Alex said in a low tone.

Piper smiled. "Well you made me...um very happy that night a few times I believe. Leaving you wasn't in the cards that day. How is work?" she asked suddenly, hoping to glean some information from Alex by her sly insertion of the inquiry.

Alex was having none of it, "It is the same. Nothing new to report and no I've not hurt myself again. No injuries to be had. It has been same ole same ole around here. Well, I did hear a rumor that Officer Bell may be called Officer O'Neil soon and if that happens one of them has to go. We are taking bets on which one they move to another facility." Piper laughed out loud hearing the news. She hoped it was O'Neil because bad as she is, she was at least a female guard.

"Are you sleeping and eating?" Piper asked. She hated that her voice sounded so scared when she asked but she couldn't help it.

"Yes, though the pillow smells like me now. I eat what I can. I miss this certain casserole. I can walk the track now, so that is an improvement. Notice I said walk, because running isn't my thing," she answered. She asked Piper about her running and she told her about running in the park. She told Alex a story about this jogger getting beaned in the head with a frisbee the day before and how she laughed but felt bad. Too soon she heard the noise that Alex had to go.

"I heart you and you do sound better, kid."Alex said to her in the happiest voice Piper had heard yet.

"I'm working on it. You mean so much to me, Alex. Stay safe and be smart please." Piper said right before the line went dead.

Piper enjoyed her meal with Roger and he told her she did look better. She didn't give him any details about Larry. She wouldn't ask any other friend to keep it from Alex. It was just as hard as last time to wait, but Piper held off reading her letter until she was on the train.

_Hey Kid, _

_Relief. That was my biggest emotion when I read your words. I want to know details then I don't. Just know that I want what is best for you at all times. I want you to be healthy and whole, even if that means we never write again. I mean that. If this correspondence ever becomes too much, remember what we set up to stop it. _

_I actually checked out a career book from the Library. It was five years old but it had some good ideas. It isn't the working part that bothers me it is the whole "job" idea. I think because my mom worked so much when I was a kid and we never got anywhere. I just want something that will give me the life I want without sucking my soul dry. I can see now that my business before didn't give me that. I think perhaps I clung to you so hard not just because of my love but because having you there gave me a semblance of a normal life. _

_I dreamed about you last night. I dreamed about how you took my hand and led me out to our place. How I hoped it was passion that moved you...how I had felt it when we danced but I had not allowed myself to hope anymore...I dreamed and remembered the joy of seeing that look in your eyes. Jesus, Kid, I still can't believe it. I think about that and relieve my aching body each night. I hardly cry after. So I guess I'm doing better as well. _

_Remember, to borrow a phrase from one of your favorite authors, " Keep Passing Those Open Windows"_

_Your-A_

Piper smiled all the way back to her apartment. She called Polly and told her about her day. She laughed and shared the gossip from prison about Nicky and the guards. She went over to have dinner with them and was playing with Finn when Larry showed up. Polly immediately started to yell at Pete.

Larry said, "No I was ...look Polly, he didn't say anything I was returning his laptop bag, he left it in my car." Larry handed the bag over and turned to leave.

"Wait. Look, we've been friends for years. It's okay. Come on Pete made his spaghetti and Finn does this bubbl e thing with his mouth that is beyond adorable," Piper said. Larry came in and moved over to his Godson. Polly put out another plate and they fell in to the routine of all of them being together.

After dinner, Piper got her purse from the closet and hugged Polly. She had put Finn down for the night earlier. Larry was standing by the door as she approached.

"I enjoyed spending time with you," he said and he looked at her like he did when he'd visit the prison, with eyes hungry for details.

"It was nice to see you as well. I'll call you later in the week. I'm in therapy, I wasn't sure if Pete told you." Piper said as she opened the door. Polly and Pete were standing nearby, watching to see if they remained civil.

"No, he didn't. Everyone's been rather close mouthed. Look, if you need to move back in the apartment I can stay here for awhile, I asked Pete..." Larry began. Piper raised her hand to stop him.

"I do have a sublet. It's okay, I'm fine on my own. It is odd but not having anyone there forced me to deal with some of my problems...mainly getting used to privacy and well Freedom. I think this may be the best thing, Larry." Piper answered.

Larry shook his head and said, "How can this be the best thing, baby? We aren't together. I'm sorry, I went to see her. I didn't hurt her, I swear. I'll go back and apologize to the guards.." Piper cut him off by stepping up to him and putting her hand on his shoulder.

"No. No..you'll just make it worse. You know she probably lost her visitation privileges right? You can't make them give them back and you could piss them off. You know how it is, you told me you have to be charming and smooth to make things go well there. " Piper took a breath and continued, "Let's just talk later and go from there." He agreed and she heard the horn for her cab. She waved goodnight and left. When she got in the cab she saw him standing on their landing. He had never looked so alone.

*** Thank you so much for your reviews. When I get them on my cell, they always make me smile. It urges me to get my "butt back in the seat" and a writer once told me. Please keep them coming as I continue on with this story. I know it is hard with them apart but things are never easy for them. Cue the Angst again. Hope your weekend Rocked. Peace, Faecym**


	51. Chapter 51 Shawshank Holidays

Time passed and Piper found herself able to sleep through the night. She met with Roger regularly and wrote Alex. It wasn't enough though. She lived for the times she called. She spoke to Larry on the phone and it was like they were dating again. She did finally tell him that she was attacked by a guard. He was mad at her for not saying anything when it happened. He felt he could have made it better. He just didn't understand that anything he could have done would have made it worse. He didn't believe that she had taken care of it herself. Piper hadn't really given him the details but she told him that she made sure the guard left. She didn't tell him everything but it felt good to speak to him about why she felt afraid when he got close. She hoped it made him feel better.

She went to see Cal and finally met, Neri. Piper could tell she made her nervous. "Um are you ok that I'm here?" Piper asked as she tried to help her carry food in to the camper. Neri just nodded and then froze as if thinking.

"He talks about you a lot. What you think really matters to him more than anyone in the family. I guess I've been scared to meet you because if you didn't like me or the way we were together, he'd take that to heart." She admitted. Piper was stunned.

"Oh I don' t know about all that. I do know that what is important to me is that you make him happy. That is all that matters. "she said. Yet she couldn't resist adding, "And if you break his heart, I'll break your face." She smiled and left Neri in the camper. Piper wasn't sure why she said it but she just knew it to be true. She walked over to her brother and bent down to hug him while he sat in his lawn chair. He made a lame joke about prison making her all touchy feely. She hugged him harder anyway. He had taken to calling her Shawshank and somehow it had stuck.

The weekend had been wonderful because she was out of the city and with her brother in nature. She walked with him to a lake and they sat and talked. It was fall and the leaves had changed. She had written Alex and tried to describe them but remembered she probably saw much the same out in the yard. She told Cal that she still communicated with Alex. He said he had guessed it because Piper was doing so well.

"I can't believe it but I think loving her has been good for you...hard on you considering the circumstances but you aren't such an uptight bitch now. Or maybe it is just the whole prison thing. Who can say," Cal said. Her brother, ever the blunt philosopher.

Her therapist asked her some hard questions. She had mentioned the Polyamorous relationship she had for her last months in prison. She had felt solid and loved. The doctor asked her if she felt that was because she had both a man and a woman or that she was finally allowed to love Alex again? It helped Piper to think about why she had left Alex before. She had done it to save her own life. She worked and created a life that she thought someone could be proud of and that life had eventually centered around Larry. Although she had dated men and women between them, she broke her life in to two segments. Compartmentalized as Alex had accused her. There was her childhood, privileged but not happy. She was bored with her safe life. Along came Alex and a life so different from the one she was raised to lead that Piper had been drawn to her like a flame. More than that though, Alex had made her feel. She had loved her like no one had ever loved her but the choices Alex made eventually were too different for Piper to maintain.

She wrote some of this to Alex. She said she'd been thinking about why she had loved her so and why she had left. The doctor asked her why she felt Alex was so inevitable? Piper said she didn't know. The doctor suggested that while she was in prison she didn't have to pretend she was a good upper class girl. While she was there she could be the parts of herself she'd only shown Alex. So maybe what was inevitable wasn't just her love for Alex but her being true to herself.

After that session, Piper had the worst nightmare in weeks. She woke at 2 AM screaming for Alex. In her dream Alex was bent over a laundry bin and Larry was raping her. Piper tried to stop him, tried to move to her and make it all stop but she couldn't move. She was shackled like Alex was when she went to Chicago and that was attached to a fence. When she finally woke, her throat was raw from screaming. She didn't have to work the next day as the offices were closed down for renovation. She did something she hadn't done in a long while, she called Polly.

"Hello, Pipes what's wrong?" she answered in her groggy voice. Piper felt bad about waking her but her heart was racing still from her own fears.

"I..dreamed again. It was bad..it wasn't me hurt but Alex. I got a bad feeling. Did she call you today? Was she fine when you last talked?" Piper asked. She heard Polly speak to Pete and then the rustling of covers as she got up.

"No. She hasn't called at all this week and she was fine. It wasn't a long call. You know I always tell you. You meet Roger next week right?" Polly said to her to try and calm her. Piper had been getting better on waiting for the letters. Alex would call her maybe three times a month...usually only once with Polly and each time she met with Roger.

"Yeah, I'm just scared." Piper sounded so like a child, it made herself sick to hear.

Polly took a deep breath and asked, "Tell me about the dream." Piper had told Polly some of the details about Henton. She shared after a few weeks of therapy about how he had threatened to hurt Alex.

"She was bent over the bin, her head in the bag. Like he did me, so I couldn't see him..she was begging him to stop. Alex doesn't beg so it made me want to throw up. I couldn't get to her and the guy was Larry. He was raping her. " Piper whispered it she hoped Polly heard because she wasn't sure she could repeat it.

"Oh Pipes, I'm so sorry. Did you talk about anything hard today in therapy?" Polly urged.

"Just owning my own shit...pointing out that maybe I was more my true self when with Alex and that is why she feels so inevitable to me. Do you think I'm more me when I was with her?" She asked. No one knew her like Polly.

Polly was quiet a moment, "It's weird Piper. You changed after her. You changed after prison. I don't think it means that it is loving Alex or Larry that did it but just life. I'm different with Pete. God knows I'm different after Finn. My life has changed me. I will say I think you are much more empathetic and aware after prison." Piper thought for a moment about what she said.

"I love you Polly. Thanks for taking my call. Get some sleep, I'll see you Sunday." Piper said. Polly said goodnight and they hung up. She stayed awake all night and once it was a decent hour, she called Roger.

"Roger here." He answered in his business tone. Piper smiled as she said hello. "Oh Hiya girl. How are you? Is work boring today?"

"No, I'm not in today, we are getting new office furniture and the walls painted. No, I wanted to know when you talked to Alex last." Piper asked him. She made it a point never to bother him about Alex. He was already doing so much for them.

"Um...she called me a few days ago," he said. Piper felt something was wrong by his tone. He continued, "She told me that she may not be able to call for a bit and not to worry. She said she mailed out your didn't want to tell her this and that made her think that Alex asked him not to tell her before their scheduled date.

"Roger, please...did she say why? She didn't tell Polly anything. Please tell me."Piper was begging him. She has slipped out of the stool at the kitchen bar and was sitting in the floor with her knees tucked up.

He sighed some. "She said there was a new girl in the laundry and she was causing shit. Alex said she pulled a prank on her and fucked up Alex's loads with some dye. She got charged for the mess up and was most likely going to lose her phone. You know Alex, she'll get her back in a way that can't be traced to her. Just be patient and ride it out." Piper thanked him and hung up. It took her three hours to get off the floor. She called her doctor and asked for some medicine for anxiety.

That next week Piper opened her letter at the table. Roger wasn't surprised but she could tell it upset him not to be able to give her the phone with Alex on the other end.

_Hey Kid, _

_There are some stupid bitches in this place. There is this new girl, Holden, in the laundry. She just feels like she has to challenge everything I do. She did some shit and now I'm gonna lose privileges. I hate that. I swear I live to hear your voice. _

_Nicky told me she'd pretend to be you so I could still feel good. She didn't do a half bad impression. Of course, she got sexual with it and tried to turn it in to pretend phone sex. I laughed though and I think that was her whole point. I'm kinda proud of her though. She hasn't fucked anyone since Lorna started to come visit her every other week. It is weird to see her so happy. I swear Red looks at her and beams like a mother with her first child. _

_Stacy has been a godsend too. She is a great person. Crazy eyes is like her best friend and for some reason it works. Never once has she called Stace her wife, much to everyone's relief. I was worried when we started hanging out that Crazy Eyes would like visit me in the night but she has been cool about it all. _

_As Thanksgiving approaches all I can think of is last year. It was the time I realized I'd never stopped loving you, kid. Now, Christmas is one holiday I dread, I'm sure you will have your own memories to overcome. All I want from you for the Holidays is an extra long letter and a promise to be good to yourself. Please be good to yourself for me. We're going to exchange names again this year. Two of the girls asked me if I knew how to make some of your lotion. Red has asked me twice. I told them that talent isn't transferred through sexual osmosis. Nicky thought it was hilarious, I think it confused the others. No worries about me giving the same gift I did last year! I decided I would give whomever I got ingredients for a casserole from my commissary. It is either that or I try poetry again and well you know, I only like to do that for my best girl. _

_You are my best. _

_Yours always, A_

Piper was worried about her loss of privileges but it felt good to know she was hanging in there and her friends were all about. Alex didn't mention what she was going to do to the girl, but Piper figured it would be good. She filled her prescription on her way home and called Polly to tell her about Alex. She poured herself a glass of wine and decided to write her back.

_Dear Alex, _

_I fucking hate Holden. I hate anyone that keeps me from hearing your voice. Be careful as you do what you must do and please stay safe. I'm thrilled to hear about Nicky and Lorna. I'm happy about Stace and her friend. I hope she is a comfort to you and I hope that comfort remains platonic. I've read platonic comfort is the best. Just saying. _

_I think the casserole idea is a great one for a gift. Of course it will not be the same as the ones you've eaten in the past but I'm sure they will try. As Thanksgiving approaches, I am excited to be with my family. Yes..I said it. You'd be surprised at how much closer I am to them now. C...wow...it is so odd but we talk a couple of times a week. He even stays with me when he comes in to the City to work with the gallery. You know the one I wrote you about. Now last year I don't think I enjoyed my food very much...I think perhaps it was one of the scariest things ever. But the days that followed, the 'Black Friday' weekend was the most amazing of my life. So on that day, I will draw a bath, slide in to it and remember. I will remember and run my hands all over...I will remember, like a do most nights and I will come so hard whispering your name. _

_That is my fucksgiving gift to you. I'll try and get through the holidays without having the one thing I want more than anything. You do the same. It will be eight months soon. Eight months of writing to each other. We can do this. _

_Love you, _

_Sissy_

Winter had come to New York and Piper waited out hearing Alex's voice again. Two weeks had passed and couldn't see Roger again until after the Thanksgiving weekend. He was taking Chris to Miami for Thanksgiving . Piper had been happy for him and she hoped she showed it. The family had met at Larry's for dinner. They had gone out twice on a date and it had gone well. He was working more now and they felt easier around each other. He asked her twice though to move back in with him. She had refused. She wasn't sure where they were going but she knew her independence had become precious to her. She, Larry and Cal prepared the dinner and invited them all over. It was nice to be back in the apartment. Piper had issues missing Alex throughout the meal but made a real effort not to show it. They ate too much and even though her parents were there, they didn't fight once. It was like a holiday she had always wanted. Larry asked her to stay the night as their guests left. He had been over to her place a few times now. She told him she wasn't ready to spend the night and she could tell he was frustrated. She just didn't take all the blame for that anymore.

When Roger got back, she met with him at their usual time and place. Both of them were nervous and hopeful that Alex could call. The meal was almost over and Piper was about to read her letter at the table again when the phone rang. Roger answered it so fast he almost dropped it. Piper held her breath as smiled and pressed the one. She literally sat on her hands to keep from attempting to snatch the phone away. She knew he'd been worried to and needed to talk to his friend.

"Hey Alex, damn I'm so glad you could call. Are you okay? Great, yes yes..you got the day right. I love you and call me later, here she is." He said as he handed the phone over.

"Hey Baby," she said and then burst in to tears.

"Hush..hush...it's okay. I'm okay. I'm all back now, full privs and let's just say the girl wishes she'd never fucked with me." Alex said in a thick voice that let Piper know she was fighting tears as well.

"I hated not talking to you before Thanksgiving. Fuck we were stupid to think we could do this without talking. I ate turkey and went to the bathroom and cried. Only Polly noticed though. Oh..if you can call her. She acts like she doesn't care but it is bugging her too." Piper responded.

" I miss her cynical view on things as well. You two are alike in many ways but she is a bit more ruthless. I like that. Everyone says hi. Our Thanksgiving meal was great. Carmen was allowed to make a Mexican side dish,n ot sure what it is called but it went well with Red's gravy. Tell me about your meal." Alex asked. Piper told her all about it and about how Cal had announced the date for his wedding would be Valentine's Day. They both laughed because they knew he'd picked that just so he'd remember it better.

"My therapy is going well. I..did get some anxiety meds because my dreams are back a few nights a week and .." Piper didn't finish.

"And you couldn't talk to me. Fuck, I was worried that would happen." Alex seemed so upset. Piper closed her eyes and thought to herself how much she loved this woman.

"Listen to me Alex Vause, my mental health is my own responsiblity. It is up to me to get my mind right and only I can work on actually sleeping through the night. There are going to be set backs with my state of mind. You aren't responsible so let yourself off the hook." Piper admonished gently.

Alex was quiet a few minute and Piper asked if she was still there. "Yeah I'm here. You're really growing up on me, Kid. I hope you don't outgrow me."She said in a joking voice but Piper could hear the underlining fear.

"Impossible. I've still got some catching up to do. Besides, I'd rather grow towards you. " she replied.

"I love you." Alex said simply. Piper closed her eyes and let the wonder of those words wash over her. Rarely did Alex say it first.

"I love you too." She responded. Roger actually put down his fork and clapped. Piper laughed and said to Alex, "See, growing towards you." Alex had to go so they got off with a talk to you soon.

Things went back to normal and though Piper tried not to worry, she did. She also had Roger send Alex a care package of classic books. Each one had a series of numbers on the pages. It was one of the codes Alex used to use to send messages to her mules. It would spell out something Piper wanted her to know. A Robert Frost poem collection book told her that Piper had masturbated to a scene from one of their favorite movies, _When Night is Falling_ and thought of her the whole time. She had hoped figuring them out had been as much fun as coming up with the messages. For her present Alex sent her three letters. The first one was their normal correspondence. The other one had been one like they wrote iwhen she was away. It was full of observations.

_Today a bird landed on that specific tree and I hated its guts. It could fly away, all the way to you and it could stand to be near that tree and not throw up_

_I swear my roommate purposely doesn't shower for days so I'll have to hang out with others_

_Would it hurt to paint something around this place is a bright color? I mean what would we do...cause a riot because there was red on the wall? Maybe we would all kill ourselves if the tile was blue. I miss vibrant colors. _

She laughed at some and cried at others. She spoke to Alex three times in December and her spirits all seemed up. The new year came and Piper went out with Larry to celebrate. They went to a party with some of their old friends. She realized right quick that hardly anyone knew they didn't live together anymore. Larry just kept on pretending that was fine.

Once they were alone, Piper asked him. "so you haven't really told your friends that I moved out MONTHS ago?" He shrugged and tried to distract her by pointing out that a very drunk date of one of his college buddies may fall in to a potted plant. Piper turned him to face her, "I'm serious Larry. How does this help to lie to your friends?"

"What should I tell them Piper? That you live someplace else and we date casually? That you pine away for your female criminal lover rather than really try and make it work with me?" he bit out in response to her urging. Piper blinked in surprise.

"I don't agree with that statement. I'm not dating anyone else Larry, this isn't casual, it is just what I need to be healthy right now. I really wish you'd see that my problems...no that I do not begin and end with you. Grow up and get your own life. Maybe if you did more of that and less pretending, we could grow in to something new. I won't be going back to the old way Larry. I can't. " Piper said it all to him gently but she left the party before the ball dropped. She luckily found a cab and was halfway home when the Cabby wished her a happy new year. She closed her eyes and thought of Alex, quiet in her bunk with some girls perhaps calling out Happy New Year while others snored.

***Fifty-one. I hope you aren't bored with the story. It is focused on Piper's recovery and their hardships communicating right now. I also hope you see growth in Vause . I try to avoid actual dates so if the time is wrong don't fret. What matters to me is the time that passes on her probation. Please keep reviewing!F


	52. Chapter 52 Blamo

Winter was cold and Piper found herself fighting depression. Her job was going well. She had two surprise visits from her Parole Officer in January and got permission to go see her ailing grandmother. She missed one of her meetings with Roger because he was out of town on business. The wait had made her anxious and she didn't sleep well. She didn't jerk awake anymore expecting to be in trouble for being out of her bunk. She took that as a small victory. Yet she would still be plagued by nightmares about something happening to Alex. She stopped taking her anxiety medicine. She didn't like how it made her feel.

Larry called her a week after New Years and they talked. He asked her out for the next week and he brought flowers when he picked her up. It was great to see him and talk. She missed their friendship when they didn't speak. He kissed her goodnight at the end of the night and walked straight back to his car. She didn't feel the need to make an excuse about why he couldn't come in. It was nice.

Piper got the flu in February and missed two days of work. Her PO came by for a surprise visit. He was in a mood and accused her of laying out of work. She told him she took off the morning only and was going in to work. He offered to drive her. She got dressed and dragged herself in to the office. Her boss, Steve, was flabbergasted to see her at the office door midday. Half of the office was down with the flu. Piper remembered fighting it off last year and assured him she was fine. She worked through the afternoon and as she rode the subway home she fell to sleep. Piper woke hours later in the wee hours of the morning, way past her stop and was confused. She recognized that she has a high fever and got off the subway. She called Polly but it went to voicemail so she had to call their house phone. Polly answered and Piper waited for her to come get her.

She slept in the car all the way back to Brooklyn. Polly couldn't really wake her up when she got her home and when Piper actually woke up it was in the ER. Her temperature had spiked so high that Polly was terrified. Piper was severely dehydrated and they admitted her. She woke some time later with a start.

"Hello darling, good to see you awake. Here drink this," her mother said. Piper sipped on some water and winced. Her throat was so sore and she felt a sense of deja vu at this scene. She looked around and didn't see Polly and checked her wrists weren't cuffed.

"Mom, where am I?" she asked. The last thing she remembered clearly was getting on the subway. Her mom told her that she had gone in to work when she shouldn't have because of her parole officer.

"I called him. I told him that if he put your life in danger again I'd report him. I told him that I worried the entire time you were in Prison and I wasn't about to do it now you are out. He apologized if he bullied you in to going in to work." She said with pride. Piper hoped she didn't pay for her mom's tirade and admitted to herself that she was probably more like her mother than she thought.

"What...day is it mom?" she asked as she saw the sun was dim in the window. She told her it was Friday evening and Piper panicked. She was supposed to meet Roger for lunch that day.

"Where is my phone?" she demanded, sitting up in her bed so fast she was dizzy. Her mom told her that it had died after she called Polly. Her mother made her lay back down.

"Piper calm down. You still have a fever and the flu. The doctors said there are many in the hospital with it and you have to take this seriously." Piper tried to protest but she could only lay there weakly. How could she explain to her mother that she had missed a meeting and a call from Alex? She knew Roger and Alex were worried.

Piper found her panic rising and it made her breath more labored. The alarms went off on a machine and the nurse came in to check. She put Piper on oxygen and she asked for her phone to be plugged in somewhere. The nurse took it and tried to placate her while she pushed something in to her IV. Too late she realized it was a sedative and she was out.

It was some time later when Piper woke up. No one was in her room and it took her a long time to come fully awake. It was dark outside and she had to use the bathroom. She took off her oxygen and moved to stand up. She swayed and had to pull her IV stand with her but she made it to the bathroom. Once she was relieved she was determined to find her phone. She made it to the door and hand to lean against the wall. The door opened and Larry stood there with a cup of coffee in his hand.

"Fuck Piper, get back in bed. Damn." He said in a concerned voice. Piper clenched her teeth with frustration. Where was Polly? Where was her phone? She told him she was fine but he put his coffee down and made her go back to bed. He also made her put her oxygen back over her ears.

"I just want my phone." She tried meekly.

"Damn Piper, I know you're addicted to twitter but that is a bit much," he teased, "I have it here in the drawer but it has to stay off in the hospital, it interferes with the instruments. Would you like me to call someone? I can go outside to make it."

Piper looked at him and realized with her heart falling that there was nothing that he could do. "Um I want to talk to Polly. "

"It is late Pipes. She had to go pick of Finn and she is home. I mean we don't want Finn exposed." He explained. Piper nodded and closed her eyes. Larry sipped his coffee and Piper asked for some water. He offered her some food but the thought of it made her stomach roll. She couldn't believe she had to wait longer to tell Roger. She hoped that Alex had called Polly and knew she was alright.

"So you got the night shift?" Piper teased smiling at him.

He shrugged and said, "Last time you were in the hospital, I wasn't allowed to visit. It is nice to be able to sit with you." Piper reached out and patted his hand. She soon fell back to sleep and was troubled with dreams of Alex locked in the SHU again.

It was morning when she opened her eyes and she saw Polly sitting beside her with a mask on reading a book. Piper swallowed and felt less pain. She looked around the room to see if Larry was there. Polly seemed to know what she was looking for and told her Larry had gone home.

"He was here all night. He said you , got up looking for your phone and had dreams. Your fever is down now. " Polly said.

"I was supposed to meet Roger yesterday. Did she call?" Piper asked trying to sit up. Polly adjusted her bed so she could sit up some. Piper coughed but was able to settle in a few minutes.

"No but I left my phone in Finn's crib and it went dead. Remember you had to call the house phone. " Polly explained, " I checked yours and Roger left you three messages. The first was while sitting at the restaurant and the last two were later in the day. I called him back and left a message when I got here an hour ago. I'm not supposed to but I have your phone on, nothing yet."

Piper winced. She didn't like the waiting. She couldn't stand that Alex didn't know if she was alright. Piper asked when the doctor was on rounds, when she could go home. They said this flu was serious and she needed rest. They wouldn't really answer the question and it frustrated her as well. Piper tried to get up on her own to go to the bathroom. She was even more weak than the night before. Polly came over to help but Piper wouldn't let her touch her. She had a healthy child at home. Polly called the nurse and they made her get back in the bed, bringing the dreaded metal bedpan.

Piper waited as long as she could and snuck her phone out to call Roger. It rang twice when he picked up. "Piper? Are you okay?" He questioned upon answering.

Piper cleared her throat to speak, "I'm fine. Did she call?"

"Yes. She was ...very upset that you didn't show for the meeting. I told her that maybe you had got busy at work. What happened?" he demanded again. She could tell he was angry.

Piper swallowed to talk again, "I have the flu, nothing to worry about..." she began. Polly took the phone from her and wiped it with her handy wipe.

"Roger this is Polly, Piper's best friend. She tried to stay home and her asshole of a parole officer did a pop visit and heckled her in to going to work. He must have been on crack because he accused her of laying out of work and questioned if she was high on pills. She tried to show she was fine and went in to work sick. She fell to sleep on the fucking subway. On the subway! Hours later, in the middle of the night, she called me. I got her and now she is in Methodist. " Polly spewed it all to him. Piper was grateful.

"Is she calling him today? Did he talk to her..give me back.." Piper said sitting up and reaching for the phone. Polly rolled her eyes and handed it over. "Roger did she call again?"

"Yes, hun, she did. I'm sorry you're sick but glad you aren't dead in a ditch, as my mother would say. She called me at dinner time and this morning before she went to work. She is very scared. I expect another call as soon as she can. Do you want me to tell her to call Polly?" he asked. Piper asked Polly if she had her phone. She pulled it out of her bag and turned it on. "Yes please." Piper dropped her arm some and let the phone lay on her face rather than actually hold her arm up. She couldn't believe how weak she felt.

Roger told her to get better and he'd see her soon. Piper hung up the phone and put it under her covers. Her breakfast came in and Polly made her eat some of the oatmeal and drink at least half the juice. She looked at her and smiled some.

"I'm sorry I keep putting you through stress filled drama. I swear I don't ask for this shit to happen," Piper said.

"It's okay Piper. I love you and that means your drama too. " Polly said as she tucked Piper back and urged her to sleep. She did just that but woke soon to the sound of Polly's phone ringing. She waited and felt her heart flutter when Polly pushed the button.

"Hey there, did you talk to Roger?" Polly asked, "No? Oh listen.." Piper reached out and took the phone from her.

"Baby, I'm okay, I'm so sorry..so sorry" Piper croaked out. Alex burst in to tears hearing her voice. Piper held the phone to her head and listened to the terrible sound. "Shh I'm sorry. I got sick and Polly had to..." Piper didn't want to tell her where she was until Alex calmed down.

"Where are you?" she asked sniffling up her tears to articulate the question, " Fuck Pi..um kid, I've been so worried."

"I'm in the Hospital." Piper began. Alex made the most heart breaking sound that Piper started crying. Polly put the phone on speaker again as Piper wouldn't let it go to let her speak to Alex.

"She has that flu that has swept the city. She overdid it, basically because of her PO and tried to make it home with a fever of 103. I had to bring her to the hospital. She's doing better but still weak." Polly said for her.

"Piper please take care of yourself." Alex began.

"I'm sorry Alex, I didn't even know what day it was, I slept all day yesterday and when I woke up my phone was dead." She said to explain.

"It's okay, I'm just thankful you aren't ...I thought of everything that could have gone wrong. Red sat with me till Lights out, keeping me from doing something stupid." Alex said.

"What something?" Piper asked sniffling. Polly brought a tissue to her nose to blow. She looked up and shook her head but Polly just gave her the look. Piper blew but squinted her eyes at her friend and mouthed, "I'm not Finn" to her.

"I wanted to call Polly. I convinced myself I could get into Kaputo's office (btw well aware it is spelled different but I did it in the first chapter and I tend to stick with my choices ;). She just kept me calm and told me all the other reasons you weren't there for the call." Alex responded.

"Alex Vause if you...don't you EVER do anything like that, you'd be sent down the hill."Piper swallowed again. Piper's head was swimming. "I'm sorry, we have a few good months and then blamo."

Alex chuckled, "Yeah blamo." Piper thought about all that had happened to them. They realized they were in prison together, Alex tried to approach her, she was starved out and Alex tried to feed her, Larry Lied, Alex was locked in the dryer, she was tossed in the SHU, they started an affair, Larry found out, did the radio show, they broke up, Piper was threatened and attacked, she covered it up, got sick and went to the hospital, Alex got thrown in the SHU, she was attacked..on and on.

"It just sucks the way we have to communicate. It is cruel and unusual," Alex said in a soft voice.

"I agree, baby,"Piper said. She had a new appreciation for her friends that suffered through the one way communication during her time in Prison. "I'm okay though, I'll be home soon. I..was thinking maybe we could add another number to your list and I could get one of those hot phones."

Alex snickered, "Um I think you meant 'burn phones' love and I did think about that. Thing is, if I'm watched here, I've been calling Polly and Roger since..." She didn't continue and Piper filled in the rest of the sentence in her mind, 'before she left'. Piper frowned. She knew her love was devious and had tried to think through everything.

Yet Piper wasn't one to give up, "But we could use it if anything like this happened again. Just for emergencies..." she attempted to get her to agree.

"Kid, it is tempting but I don't know." Alex said. Her tone of voice said she wanted to do it but wouldn't take the risk.

Piper knew when to leave it to her to marinate, " Well think about it. I know Polly doesn't complain about the cost and I offer to pay her each month. Roger I offered and he laughed at me. Still, I'm not easy with owing people." She knew Alex didn't like it either but that was her last argument for it. Her head was swimming and she murmured something about needing her more often.

"I'll think on it. So you will be out soon? No more fever?" Alex said.

"I wish you were here to spoon me..come be my little spoon, "Piper said in a sleepy voice. Polly leaned over and spoke more in to the speaker phone that rested on Piper's chest.

"She is fading a bit Alex, she still has a fever but it isn't dangerous high. I'm sorry about my phone, I just didn' t expect a call, we got in a pattern there. I didn't know she was ill until she called the house phone. She was way across town, fell to sleep on the subway."

"Hey don't tell her that, she'll worry 'bout something can't fix. " Piper mumbled.

Alex sighed and cursed, "No one hurt her? Her purse still with her?" Polly said she was fine, purse was clutched to her when she found her on the bench by the train. "Okay I gotta go kid. I'll call Roger and let him know we spoke. " Polly told her he knew about Piper was waiting on her call.

"I love you baby. Don't worry, I'm going to be fine." Piper assured her even as her eyes drooped.

Alex said, "I love you too, kid. Talk with you soon." Piper thanked Polly but was asleep before she had put her cell phone back in her purse. She slept most of the day and ate half of her lunch. The doctor came in again after dinner. He explained she was still too weak to go home and her fever wasn't gone completely. He told them that the flu had claimed 143 people already in New York State that year and she had to take it slow.

She was in the hospital when her mom told her that Cal had eloped a week early to get married. She was thrilled and not in the least bit surprised. She knew Cal would never give in to an extravagant wedding. She felt bad for her dear mother. Neither of her kids valued the same social rituals that she did. He called Piper though and told her they'd have a big celebration once she was out of the hospital.

"Congratulations Cal. Give Neri a hug for me." Piper said. She fell to sleep that night with her fever almost gone. She dreamed one of the sweetest dreams she had ever had. She and Alex were on their hammock in St. Tropez. Alex was stroking her face softly and nibbling on her ear. She turned and kissed her lips softly. Alex pulled her close and told her that she was safe. Alex told her they would be free together always all she had to do was hang on. Piper slept through the night, clutching a pillow to her chest and she woke the next morning with her fever gone.

**I'm trying to get back on my regular sleeping schedule folks. I'm not sure they'll be another one this day, but who knows. Piper Kerman will be on NPR's Fresh Air tonight. Also the Attorney General announced today some reform in mandatory sentences especially in non violent and low level drug offenders. A bit late for Piper but this is a good thing. Please review, Faecym ***


	53. Chapter 53 I Need Her

After her brief stay in the hospital, Piper was back to her schedule. She got an offer to work in the public relations department of a firm that handles non-profits. It was more salary but also they offered her a chance to work with charities that meant something to her. She talked about it with her therapist, Polly and her mom but she waited to speak to Alex about it during one of their phone calls.

"Hey, I got a job offer." Piper said to change the subject. Alex had just finished talking about how Sophia's son came to visit her and how emotional it was for everyone.

"Oh?" Alex asked and waited for Piper to dish all the details. She told her what it was and the work she'd be doing. "Money?" Alex prompted her. Piper blushed. She was raised not to discuss salary or money matters in public. Roger looked up at her and smiled.

"It is more than I make now. Enough I could start paying for my own therapy, which would make me feel better about it." She had been wrestling with cutting her sessions down because of guilt. Her uncle was refusing rent from her and her mom was paying for her medical. Piper didn't like it one bit.

"That weighs on you, I know, Kid. Well, from what I know about you ..is that you like to help people. I also know you don't like to be beholden to anyone." Alex stated. Piper had almost convinced her to allow her to get a burn phone so Alex could call her directly using the cost issue. Alex had offered to help financially. Piper was well aware that her girl had squirreled away some of her ill gotten gains. It didn't set well with her so she had refused. Alex was still considering the phone.

"True. I think I'm going to take it." Piper stated.

Alex's next question floored Piper. "What does Larry say?" she asked in a casual tone. He had not been mentioned in their conversations or letters in months. Piper was a bit upset to realize she hadn't asked him. She flushed with shame. They were dating still but Piper always talked about his job and not hers.

"Um I haven't really asked him yet, is a new development." Piper covered. Alex was quiet for a moment.

She cleared her throat and said,"Well talk to him, I'm sure he has valuable advice about the job market since he was looking for one while you were in here." Piper agreed. She didn't want to analyze why she hadn't even thought to discuss it with him. She had a feeling it may be the topic of an upcoming session.

"Look I may not be able to call again for awhile. It is nothing to worry about but I wanted to tell you so you didn't think I had been shived in the yard." Alex said, making the worst possible joke considering how that very thing almost happened to Piper.

Piper sat up and looked at Roger. He wouldn't meet her eyes so she knew he had already heard this fact, "Why? Explain to me Alex and I will not worry then. Are you going to lose privs again?"

"You know that project I was working on well it is about time it comes to fruitation." Alex said reluctantly. "Please be careful what you said, kid." She warned in a very low voice.

Piper was instantly terrified. Whatever plan Alex had been cooking up for Dawson and Mendez was about to happen. Her hands started to shake and Roger reached across their table and held her free hand. "Please don't. I...please," she begged.

Alex made a calming sound with her voice, "It's okay and I gotta Kid, I have no choice."

"Do you think..are you saying SHU here or transfer?" Piper tried to get more information out of her without really saying anything.

"Who knows...just be prepared. My lawyer has information for you if something happens. Roger is my contact now with the Prison and my lawyer. So no worries about that okay?" she tried to console Piper. Piper asked her if her friend in the Admin, meaning Fig, could do anything to help. Piper had never asked her about her on the phone or mentioned her in a letter. She was well aware that her name would have been a red flag. But now she had to know if Alex could use her relationship, as fucked up and unequal is it was by definition, to keep herself safe.

Alex responded with a careful tone, "Um no. You know me I have no friends in admin. I'm surprised you asked actually." Alex admitted.

"I don't like to think about it but now I have to." She responded.

Alex cleared her throat. "It's been okay...but I am on my own," was her final answer.

Piper heard the sound that signified Alex's time was up. "Be careful...remember please that someone out here loves you very much and they care about what happens to you. Please be careful." Piper said then the phone went dead. She handed it to Roger and stared down the street in a daze. She saw people walking along, going about their day. Businessmen and women with their phones to their ears or carrying on animated conversations as they went to and from lunch. The world just moved on around her and the heartbeat of this City, the City she loved, kept on beating while her world shattered. The false sense of security she felt these months evaporated with one phrase, "I may not be able to call for awhile." Piper had allowed herself to forget that Alex had been forced to sell drugs to protect her date.

Roger sat and let her process for a moment, then Piper pushed her plate away. "Tell me." She said quietly.

He shifted in his seat and pushed his food away as well. "She told me when I visited on Saturday that she had to do something that may put her in SHU for awhile." Piper closed her eyes hearing her fear confirmed. "She said it wouldn't be easy but she would survive and had done it before. She also said that at least this time she knew you were alright. She asked me to look after you and she most likely called Polly before you spoke and did the same thing. I wouldn't be surprised if you came home to find her on your stoop."

"What was it she has to do?" Piper pushed him to explain.

"You know Alex, it was need-to-know and what I needed to know was she had me down as her contact and my job was to take care of you. As always kid...no different." Roger said this gently. His use of Alex's pet name for her is what caused silent tears to start falling.

"Do you know anything about what is going on with her?" Piper asked. He shook his head. "Well let me see, a sadistic fuck guard named Mendez felt me up after her first trip to SHU and Alex attacked him. I got her off of him and she miraculously didn't get in trouble...but he did.. as it was witnessed. In what i thought was total retaliation for that I was patted down numerous times daily, especially by a set group of male guards. They did it in front of Alex often and their hands roamed where they wanted if no one was around. It was hard but we dealt. Then she got a fat lip that she wouldn't explain...but the pat downs slowed. " Piper swallowed and looked out in to the street. She could still feel hands on her sometimes but thinking about it now, talking about it made her see Alex's face as it happened to her. The impudent rage that changed her features to one of an unknown creature, caged and full of such hatred.

Piper closed her eyes and continued, "I was due out in a few days and I snuck to see her in the laundry. She was working late and I overheard a conversation I shouldn't have heard. Alex was talking to one of the guards, one of the worse. He was instructing her on how to sell pills from the laundry. She got smart with him and he threatened me again. Apparently for some time he'd been trying to get her to do it and they used me to make her." Piper's voice broke. Roger moved his chair over and leaned close to her, giving her the warmth of his hug.

From the relative safety of his arms she continued, "He had been the one that hit her. He told her that he'd plant the drugs on me and I would lose my date if she didn't comply. I don't know how they did it...I mean I had heard stories of girls that actually fucked up their girlfriend's date out so they could keep them there. He just kept pushing her buttons and Alex couldn't hide her fear for me. I begged her, I begged her so much to go to Fig and tell her. But she said it would do no good as she didn't want drug activity on the record." Roger asked who Fig was and she explained. He then cursed like she had never heard him before about the prison system. She let him have his little rage and just leaned her head on his shoulder.

"She is smart. If she is ready to make a move now, then she has it all thought out. I know it is scary but we will be here for her. " Roger was so rock solid that Piper almost believed him.

She did come home to Polly. She was hoping that Alex would try and call one more time that night but Polly crushed that hope. "No she said she'd probably not call me at all again. Look I asked as much as I could on the phone. She could tell I knew about things. She just said she had to do something and that was that. She told me she sent you three letters and wanted me to tell you.." Polly stopped and swallowed. Piper was stunned because rarely did she get sentimental over Alex.

She continued, "To tell you that loving you had saved her. That if she did anything else with her life that was good, it was because of you." Piper hugged her. Polly stayed the night and slept with Piper in her bed. She awoke twice screaming.

Her Doctor pushed her appointments up to three times a week for the next short while and insisted that go back on some meds. She went from being numb to a nervous wreck. She took the job and went through all the paperwork with her PO to switch. He had been considerably nicer since the flu incident . She got her letters from Alex but couldn't open them. She took them to one of her sessions and Dr. Speer sat with her when she opened the first one.

_Hey Kid, _

_I know this is hard. I know what could happen and I want you to know I'm not afraid. All I wanted was for you to be safe and now you are. I realized that taking care of you anyway I could was the most important thing I've ever done because it meant for the first time in my life I did good. _

_So when you worry about me, remember I am feeling just fine. No matter what comes my way, I feel fine because I can close my eyes and see you walking down the street free. I picture you playing with Finn or drinking wine with Polly. I picture you entertaining all the people at work with your casserole stories. I picture you running in Prospect Park. My mind is free with you. That is what matters now doesn't it? _

_They may chain my body, abuse me and lock me away but they can't hurt me. _

_As Morrison said,_ _We fear violence less than our own feelings. Personal, private, solitary pain is more terrifying than what anyone else can inflict. And my personal, solitary pain isn't so terrifying now that I have your love._

_I love you, A_

Dr. Speer read the letter with her and Piper just cried. She helped by stating, "You weren't exaggerating, that girl can write a letter." Piper smiled some and put the letter back in the envelope carefully. "You ready for another one?" The doctor asked.

Piper nodded and took out the next letter. "It is an observation one, where she writes down things she thinks and would share with me if I was with her." Piper explained as it was a random set of sentences.

_Today, a Spanish Mami girl, Daya, the one that had her baby, she showed me a picture. Some people think it is he-who-shall-not-be-named's kids but most of us know it isn't. One cute kid! Don't tell Polly but he could give Finn a run for his money_

_Polly called me a white cracker drug lord wannabe today when I pointed out she was being a bitch about Pete on the phone. I laughed for three hours._

_Lorna sent a care package to Nicky and it had Curve magazine in it and it actually made it through check. She is very popular with the lesbians, let me tell ya. I'm third in line to read it. Red has it before me because she said she is curious. So does that make her 'bi-curious"?_

_I had a bad day today with missing you. I was tempted by another. I got close, I admit it, but then I saw your face and burst in to tears. I was bad ass, now I'm a pussy. I'm trying to care. _

_When I spent that day not knowing where you were, it brought back my time in SHU. I thought it would leave my mind but it keeps creeping back in and whirling around until I can't focus on simple tasks. I had been wearing eyeliner again but I think maybe I should opt for constipation._

_I saw the damn chicken again. I was alone in the yard, reading under that stupid tree. What are we, fowl magnets?_

Piper actually laughed. She translated some of the items to the Doctor so she'd understand why they were funny. Piper put the letter to her chest and swallowed back her tears. If Alex could do this, so could she. She wasn't the same person that went in to Litchfield over two years ago now. The one about being tempted made her stomach roll. She had stopped asking Alex but had pretty much resigned herself to the fact Alex was getting laid in prison. She herself was horny most of the time. Her dates with Larry had begun to heat up though she had never let him stay the night with her. She clung to the facade that Alex was celibate too. It was a comfort to her.

"That's right. Shore yourself up Piper. You can do this. Now, want to read the next one?" she gently prompted. Piper nodded and put the letter carefully back in the envelope.

_Hey Kid, _

_Some poetry excerpts to ponder...let's see if you can pick each poet without google ;)_

_Love shook my heart,_

_Like the wind on the mountain _

_Troubling the oak-trees. _

Piper smiled and murmured Sappho then read on...

_One ought not to have to care So much as you and I Care when the birds come round the house _

_To seem to say good-bye; Or care so much when they come back _

_With whatever it is they sing; The truth being we are as much _

_Too glad for the one thing As we are too sad for the other here -_

_ With birds that fill their breasts But with each other and themselves_

_ And their built or driven nests._

"Frost, _the Hill Wife_," she said with a smile. Of course Alex wouldn't pick a well known one like _The Road Not Taken, Birches _or _Stopping By the Woods On A Snowy Evening._

_Oh do not die, for I shall hate  
All women so, when thou art gone,  
That thee I shall not celebrate,  
When I remember, thou wast one._

But yet thou canst not die, I know;  
To leave this world behind, is death,  
But when thou from this world wilt go,  
The whole world vapours with thy breath

Piper read it twice trying to figure it out. It was Elizabethan but she wasn't quite sure. Then it hit her, it was an excerpt from John Dunne's _Fever._ She smiled as it was so appropriate. She looked up at the Doctor and explained.

"This must have taken her sometime. Is she as educated as you are?" the doctor inquired.

Piper shook her head then said, " Well yes, not formally but she is one of the most well read people I know. She didn't come from money so she didn't get a formal education. " Piper read the last one.

_I need her in the morning light,_

_When the harshness of day has not yet sunk,_

_Its fangs into my body._

_I need her in the garish light,_

_Of a midday sun as it,_

_Exposes all of my faults._

_I need her in the dimming of the day,_

_When weariness claims my _

_Good intentions against my will._

_I need her when night is falling_

_And its blackness covers me like_

_A lover no longer desired._

_I need her in each moment,_

_And it is a need that defines, _

_Who I am and Who I will be._

Piper burst in to tears when she finished. The words all swam around and she felt dizzy. Dr. Speer gave her a tissue as she said, "Alex Vause, _I need Her."_

_**** So here we go...Please review! Faecym***_


	54. Chapter 54 Pork Chops and St Musicians

Polly and Larry threw her a surprise celebration party at her place to celebrate her new job. She wasn't in the mood but as time passed the evening was fun. Polly and Larry had put banners all about and invited people from the job she was leaving and new ones from work. Her apartment was festive and she managed not to mope or feel so guilty about having a good time that she ruined everyone's evening. There were times when she wished she could talk to Larry about how she was feeling with the seperation. He understood what it was like to be forced apart. At the end of the party, he asked to stay the night. Piper relented and they slid in to bed together. He held her and it was a comfort. He was tentative and scared with her.

"We don't have to do anything if you don't want to, " he said.

Piper looked at him, "I know that. Larry, I'm...having a hard time now. You know I'm in therapy. I had to start up my meds again." He said he understood and was content to just hold her. She dreamed about the chapel. She dreamed about holding Alex and tasting her on her tongue. She woke up in the early morning hours wet from her dream. She thought for a moment of reaching out to Larry and shame overwhelmed her. What was wrong with her? Alex had accused her of using her as a binky when she didn't want to be alone. How would that have been any different if she'd used Larry now? She got up and watched the sunrise over Queens. She made him breakfast and sent him on his way and spent the rest of her Saturday reading Alex's letters.

Her therapist had suggested that Piper write a journal about her time at Litchfield. She had used letters from friends and one she kept to piece together her story. It was very detailed. She left out parts about her cover up and how she got back at Henton. The doctor knew these things. Working through the memories helped her to process them. It was good for her. She met with Roger still, though he had no new information on Alex. She could tell he was waining under the strain as well. She told him about her journal writing and he asked if she thought of getting it published once she was off parole.

"You know your story could reach many people and perhaps open their eyes to the injustices of our so called Justice system." He said with complete confidence. The idea stuck and Piper had been spending her weekend working on her journals and trying to piece them together in to some sort of story fashion.

The news made it to New York. It took two months from the time she got her letters until she read it online. "Prison Drug Ring Exposed At Litchfield Correctional Center". It stated that an outside lawyer for an inmate had gone to the State Bureau of Investigation with information. They had then planted an officer in the Prison undercover. This officer, with the assistance of some Correctional officers, one Administrator and two inmates had uncovered a drug smuggling ring that reached the highest officials of the prison. It seemed the drugs were smuggled in through the main gate with uniforms and dispensed in the laundry.

Piper picked up her phone to call Polly when she read the Times' article but Larry was calling her at the same time. " Did you read the article on page three of the Times?" He started. She had a private office at her new job, so she rose to shut the door.

"Yes I did." She said in a guarded tone.

"Pipes, did you know about this? Is Alex one of the inmates?" He asked bluntly. She closed her eyes and wondered again if she was out of SHU. She sat down in shock. "Piper? Are you there?" he asked.

"Yes and I...think so. I knew about it, not details but yeah I knew about it. It is the cause of some of my nightmares," she finally admitted to him. He was quiet for a few minutes. She could hear his breathing so she didn't ask if he was there.

"Fuck Piper, why didn't you tell me?" He had asked this of her before...about Henton and Pensatucky. She had asked herself that very same question. She found the answer to be hard to understand but she knew he deserved to know.

"I didn't trust you not to try and fix it. At first, with Henton and Tiffany, I wanted to shield you from some of my horror. We were just working our way back from Christmas and the radio show. But eventually I've come to realize that I don't trust you. I know part of it has to do with my mistrust of men because of my abuse, I own that. But more than that, your actions..." She tried to continue.

"What actions Piper? I've done everything you wanted. I even gave my blessing for you to fuck someone else while in Prison. Come on Piper!" He was angry and she couldn't blame him. It wasn't rational but she couldn't bring herself to trust him like she did before he broke up with her right after she told him someone was trying to kill her.

"I've seen you look at Pete, Polly and Finn. I know you want to start a family and get married. It just isn't going to be with me. I hope one day we can be friends,..." she tried to say.

Larry growled hatefully, "Fuck you Piper! I know the real reason you have steadily shut me out of your life. . . !" Piper hung up on him. She cut off her phone when he tried to dial back. She stayed in her office until time to leave and went straight to Polly when she got off work.

She opened the door and welcomed her in with a hug. "Pete is with Larry, he called yelling. I'm kinda proud of my man though because he told him he could sod off if he didn't stop spouting homophobic crap. I'm surprised really."

"At his hateful attitude?" Piper inquired.

"No that it took you so long to do this. You don't love him anymore Piper. Not like you should and you just dated him because you were grateful. That is no reason to love a man."Polly said to her as she handed her a stiff glass of bourbon, neat.

They talked about what she thought was happening to Alex. Piper was scared they had left her in the SHU. Roger called her while she was playing with her plate of food. With her drugs from her doctor and her constant worry over Alex, she had begun to drop weight again. Polly was nagging her.

"Hey Roger, did you hear from her lawyer?" Piper asked.

"Yes. She is being moved to an undisclosed location until trial. She is one of the star witnesses but as the whistle blower, she is in danger in a facility. He said it is probably a local jail someplace but it is safe. You hear me Piper, she is safe." Piper thanked a God she never believed in. Roger said she'd be there until all were indicted and her statement was made. Once it was safe, they'd return her to Litchfield to await the trial.

"Are they going to give her more time or perhaps reduce her sentence?" Piper asked him once she got over the shock.

"He didn't say. Right now their focus is making the arrests and keeping her safe." He replied

"The paper said, two inmates were involved. Do you know who the other one was?" She asked, though she was pretty sure it was either Nicky or Boo. He said he knew nothing else as her lawyer only spoke to him. Piper asked if she was okay physically after her time in solitary. Roger was quiet but eventually he replied. "No, she had to have medical treatment. Her lawyer was really appalled at her state. He did assure me though that she is doing better and her new surroundings would be much better for her. I asked if I could see her where she was going and he said no that they wouldn't take a chance with her safety, but he'd try to arrange a phone call." Piper thanked him so much.

She shared all the information with Polly. They had another drink and talked about where they could possibly send her. They talked until Pete got back and he said Larry was passed out at home. Pete gave her a big hug when he got home and Piper stayed there that night.

Piper threw herself in to her work. She worked on average fourteen hours a day and stayed up until at least two AM working on her journals. A week had passed since Roger called. She texted him daily for updates but so far he had heard nothing. She was very surprised when he knocked on her door one Saturday afternoon.

"Roger, what is wrong is she okay?" Pipers heart jumped to her throat. She thought immediately that something had happened to her.

"No no, look her lawyer called me and said we could talk to her for a few minutes. We can't ask her where she is, or anything about the case and we should just put it on speaker, " he rushed in saying. Piper poured him a cup of coffee and they sat at her kitchen island bar, staring at his phone. He had half a battery but he plugged it in anyways. He told her that Chris would be coming up that he was looking for a place to park the car. Piper had met him a few weeks ago when they all went out to dinner. She liked him. He was a caregiver and she could tell all he wanted to do was take care of Roger. It had been amazing to see him happy.

His phone rang as the doorbell rang. Piper looked torn. Roger yelled for Chris to let himself in and answered the phone. "Hello? Alex..here let me put it on speaker." He pressed the button.

She held her breath and then heard, " Can you hear me now?" from Alex's sexy voice. Piper nodded because she lost her voice.

"Yes Alex, oh it is so damn good to hear your voice. How are you?" Roger said for them.

Alex asked in a small voice, "Is Piper there?"

"I'm here, baby..sorry I'm emotional." She said back. She heard Alex exhale as if she too had been holding her breath.

"Are you alright? Are you eating?" Alex asked in her typical fashion. Piper laughed.

"Answer Roger, don't worry about me. Tell us about you." Piper told them she was in pretty bad shape after two months in SHU. I was just jerked out and taken to a clinic. It took a week but I got well enough to be interviewed. Where I am now.." she started to say but Piper heard her lawyer's voice in the background. "I know, I won't say..where I am now is much better Pipes. I'm not free but it is safe and clean. I'm not alone either, so don't worry." Piper was dying to know which one of the inmates had helped her but she knew she couldn't ask.

"I miss your letters. I miss your voice...fuck Alex. This is big, it made all the papers. " she didn't know how to say how scared she was for her.

"I don't do anything halfway. Needless to say, we got what we needed and sprung the trap. I can't give you details but...you may be contacted to testify and I want you to refuse." Piper heard her lawyer in teh background arguing with her. She heard Alex say clear as day, " I don't care about that, I will not drag her in tot his at all."

Piper knew immediately what he wanted.." but I am in it Alex. I am. You only started this entire thing because they threatened me. I heard him. I heard him and you better fucking believe it that I'm going to testify." Roger put his hand on her shoulder.

"No, absolutely not Piper. You are about done, you're 15 months in to your parole. The defense will try and say we violated it to talk to one another, to plan our story. The only way we are talking now is Attorney Client Privilege and technically I'm talking to Roger not you." Alex insisted.

"I don't care Alex. I heard him tell you that if you didn't sell these drugs, he'd hurt you again and frame me for possession, taking my date and sending me down the hill." Piper said with such strength.

"Oh kid, please don't. Don't risk it. " she begged.

Piper picked up the phone and brought it closer to her mouth, "You aren't the only one that can fight back Alex. I'd give up my freedom in a heartbeat if it means addicts like Tricia aren't exposed to drugs by skeevy officers that are supposed to help keep her safe while she is punished. You once called me brave. Do you think me now a coward?"

Alex got quiet. "No...I know you aren't a coward. I'm just scared for you."

Piper sighed and closed her eyes. Roger said, "She is scared for you too but it can't be called bravery if you aren't scared. You will not be able to stop her and you know that. I'll get in touch with my lawyer on Monday. We'll have him contact the district attorney."

Alex asked, " What about Larry's dad I thought he was your lawyer?"

Roger looked at Piper and she shook her head and answered, " He did it as a favor to me, I'd rather not involve them at this time. I think Roger has the best idea. Now, how is the food there?" she said to totally get her off the subject.

"It is better than Litchfield. A local restaurant makes it and delivers it three times a day. I feel like I'm at club med. I actually had a real hamburger for lunch today." She replied. Piper laughed. She knew how important food was to a prisoner.

She thought for a moment, "Tell me something, is the other inmate someone we would call a stone cold cynic?" Alex laughed and Piper heard her lawyer in the background again.

"I'm not supposed to tell but I will say she has an interesting Pork Chop story, almost as interesting as yours." Piper bursts out laughing. It was Nicky. She was suddenly very relieved. They were together and Alex had her to watch her back.

"Tell her to take care please. " Piper wanted to see help with Morello but she had a record and Piper was barred from seeing her as well.

"I gotta go now, my lawyer looks like he may have a stroke. I heart you kid and Roger, I'll never be able to repay you, my dear friend." She said with a thick voice.

"No need. I love you both. Just take care of yourself and I'll see you as soon as I can." He stated and then Alex hung up. Piper poured them all a stiff drink. Chris had let himself in the apartment and had listened to the conversation.

"You know, I haven't met her yet, but she must be something fan-fucking-tastic, because the two of you are awesome people and you both adore her." He stated as he sipped his rum and coke. Piper really liked him. She liked the way he was gentle and loving with her friend. She made plans to go see his lawyer on Monday and went right to work once they left. She cleared the work she had for Monday because she didn't know how long it would take. She called Polly as well and filled her in, then she called Cal. He told her that he was proud of her for wanting to testify. They talked about whether they should tell their parents. Their grandmother was ailing and she didn't want to add to their stress. Cal agreed and they decided they'd tell them about it if something happened and Piper was taken back in to custody.

"You know I'm not scared of that. I'm more scared of Alex getting this pinned on her."Piper said. Cal laughed.

"Well Shawshank, that doesn't surprise me. You have really owned your own shit and now you don't want to take it from anyone. You inspire me, sis." He said in a softer voice than she'd heard from him before. She told her baby brother that she loved him and he returned it.

Piper went to see the Lawyer on Monday with Roger. He insisted on paying the retainer so Piper could discuss everything with him. His name as Joe Seeger and he was a very tall man with kind green eyes. He had his assistant pull information from court documents about Piper's original conviction. He then contacted her Parole Officer. He told her he'd be in touch with her in a few days. He seemed to have something up his sleeve.

Her doctor read through her journal at her weekly session. She discussed what she could with her about the upcoming case. Dr. Speer asked her if she was sure about breaking up with Larry. It seemed so out of place since she was talking about the case.

Piper thought about it. "Yes. I know he went through this with me the first time and I admit I find myself wanting to call him to talk...but the Larry I want to talk to, doesn't exist. " she tried to explain.

Dr. Speer said, " You mean he has changed just like you through this ordeal and you don't want to be with the new Larry?" Piper said simply that yes that was true. She made a few notes and gave Piper back her journal. "I agree you should seek to get that published Piper. It moved me and I knew most of it through our sessions. I'd also like to taper you down on your drugs and work towards getting you off them altogether. I know you have some stressful times coming up but I believe you have done the work to make it through. What do you say to that?" she asked with a smile. Piper had agreed. She was on her way to meet her friend Monica when her new lawyer called and asked if she could come in to see him before she went home for the day. She had taken the afternoon off to help a friend pick out an anniversary present. She said she would head straight to his office and called Polly, asking her to fill in with Monica.

"You owe me. I'd rather argue with Super Cunt on the phone about politics for fifteen minutes than deal with indecisive Monica. You know I'll end up picking it out and wrapping it." She snarked. Piper thanked her and told her she'd make her dinner that week.

Her lawyer was working late and she had to let herself in to his office. He was on the phone and motioned her over. He thanked someone for the information and hung up. "Please sit Miss Chapman, would you like a glass of water or anything?" he stood walking over to a small bar in his office. He got himself a bottle of water. She declined and sat in the big chairs before his desk. She was nervous.

"Well, I have thoroughly reviewed your case. You were lucky in one way to get what you did, but in another I feel I probably could have gotten you off. However, what intrigued me was your parole. Did you know the Attorney General of New York has made some sweeping changes to mandatory sentencing?" Piper told him that she did. She had been reading about sentencing as she worked on her book and some of the charities she helped to market were for prison families.

"It did not just effect future sentences. I would like to file an appeal of your parole and see if we can't get you out of it now. This would make it easier when you come forward. They would be burdened to prove you violated it. It states you can't talk to anyone with a record. All phone records will report that Miss Vause spoke to Roger and your friend Polly, correct?" Piper was stunned and could only nod.

"Well good then. They would not have enough evidence to get you for a violation. Even if they did, I could most likely get you house arrest to finish out your time. I think we can do this Miss Chapman, will you let me appeal for you?" He asked this while leaning against his desk in front of her. She jumped up and hugged him tightly.

He laughed a rich laugh and said, "I'll take that as a yes."

On her way home she heard a musician on the subway singing an old Ani DiFranco song called "Overlap". She stopped and listened to her remembering back when she first started dating Alex.

**Alex had got her tickets to see Ani at the Music Hall of Williamsburg or North 6th as it was still know. It has been crowded but once the music started everyone rushed towards the stage. Alex helped elbow their way to the front and they stood, enthralled in a massive crowd of young women. She had kept her arms around Piper the whole time as they danced. Piper was super aware then how women looked at Alex. She felt like she was on top of the world when she gave to Piper her undivided attention. Overlap, one of Piper's favorite songs came on. She turned her back to the stage and put some distance between them, then she danced for her. She sang with the lyrics though you couldn't hear her as the rest of the crowd and Ani sang. Alex watched her lips and her eyes devoured Piper. **

**_I search your profile  
for a translation  
I study the conversation  
like a map  
'cause I know there is strength  
in the differences between us  
and I know there is comfort  
where we overlap_**

come here  
stand in front of the light  
stand still  
so I can see your silhouette  
I hope  
you have got all night  
'cause I'm not done looking,  
no, I'm not done looking yet

**The light from the venue cast Alex in a silhouette and Piper felt her body sweat and hum with the baseline of Ani's guitar. Others around them seemed to move back and watch Piper, yet she only watched Alex. **

**_each one of us  
wants a piece of the action  
you can hear it in what we say  
you can see it in what we do  
we negotiate with chaos  
for some sense of satisfaction  
if you won't give it to me  
at least give me a better view_**

come here  
stand in front of the light  
stand still  
so I can see your sillouette  
I hope  
you have got all night  
'cause I'm not done looking  
no,  
I'm not done looking yet

I build each one of my songs  
out of glass  
so you can see me inside of them  
I suppose  
or you could just leave the image of me  
in the background, I guess  
and watch your own reflection superimposed

**Alex reached out and pulled her up against her body. Piper felt Alex's nipples under her T-shirt and gasped as desire shot through her. Alex kissed her and people around them cheered. She kissed her throughout the last verse, then Piper jumped up on her, clinging with her ankles crossed around her body. Neither of them heard Ani laugh and fan herself referring to the hot show Piper had put on. Alex just carried her out of the venue and made love to her in the cab on the way home. **

Piper dropped a twenty in the performer's case and made her way home with her body still buzzing with the tactile memory of Alex's touch.

***Lots of Info...lots of info...I hope you followed the details! See I told you patience would pay off over Larry. Let me see, No I'm not British, I'm an Appalachian American (which I prefer to 'hillbilly' tyvm). Yes, I screwed up and Alex said Piper's name on the phone while she was in the hospital. I guess we were both really worried about Piper ;) Um _Overlap _and the Ani concert is for my friend Carmen. Thank you for your reviews. Thank you all for getting on this ride with me and as always, please review for more. Peace, Love and Music, Faecym***


	55. Chapter 55 Grandmother's Hands

Piper was obsessed with following the story about the Prison. She heard the grand jury indicted all of the individuals. There were four different individuals. One however, was solely for conspiracy. She hoped that was Figuaro. The prison was shut down tight and visitation was cut back to one day a week because of reporters trying to get in to speak to inmates. They closed down the facility to new inmates, stating it was overfull. Piper suspected that was a lie. She knew girls came in and out of the prison all the time. She continued to work hard and had to get permission twice from her parole officer to leave town on business. Her lawyer filed the appeal and they were waiting to find out the result before she went to the District Attorney. She called Roger each day but he had not heard from Alex's attorney. She didn't know if she was back at Litchfield.

She wasn't sure she wanted her back there at all. They had to know that she was one of the two inmates. There was no way the Correctional Officers wouldn't be harsh on her and Nicky. She hoped that wouldn't be the case but she had very little faith in their humanity. She was steadily cutting back her medications but she found it hard to sleep at all. Her mind raced with worry. She didn't dream, she just skipped sleep. Coffee was her friend.

Larry called her three times. She finally took his call and he said he wanted to check on her to see if she was alright with everything going on with Litchfield. She hoped he wasn't fishing for a story. "I'm fine, I'm worried about my friends, but I'm fine." She had replied to him.

"Friends or just Alex?" He asked. Piper clenched her jaw and sighed.

"I got to go Larry, I have someone coming in for a meeting." Piper lied and said goodbye.

She was slogging through some work in the morning when she got the call from her lawyer. "Well, as of next week you will be off Parole. " he said to her right off the top. Piper was completely stunned. The first thing she thought of was, "I can see her." That was quickly dashed by his next statement, "However, if you are serious by assisting your friend, you must not see her. We will not advertise this victory, Miss Chapman. I have your statement and am ready to make the call to the DA. We will offer you up as a collaborating witness and the rest will be up to him." He finished.

Piper thought about it a minute. She had over seven months left on her probation and now it was over. Yet she can't see Alex. She couldn't however take the chance and not back up Alex. "Make the call, please. So I meet with my PO next week?" she continued in a business like fashion. He gave her instructions and she thanked him again for all of his hard work. Piper called Roger and then Polly with the news. She asked neither of them to say anything but had to tell someone.

Polly brought over a bottle of wine to celebrate. It was then that Piper let her read her finished first draft. She had to sign some paperwork about their business. The operation of it was now run by a management firm and they received profits. Polly still worked with a development team and kept the product as organic as she possibly could. The fewer hours helped her to stay home with Finn. Piper had to sign the monthly statements. Since her new job, she'd been sending her money to an investment firm that Roger recommended. It was becoming a nice nest egg. She was no longer taking money from her mother for her doctor and had excellent health care coverage. She even managed to get Uncle Winston to take some back rent. He had been making some noise about just selling the apartment to her. She was floored because she thought he rented the place. Her mother was never one to actually pay attention to details about money.

She was nervous about Polly reading the journal. It wasn't a book yet to Piper. She knew she needed an editor. She finished all the paperwork and read it twice, yet Polly was reading. She rose and went to the kitchen to start dinner. She was trying Chicken Kiev and couldn't help but think of Red. She got engrossed in prepping her chicken that she didn't notice Polly standing by the isle holding the manuscript. Piper jumped and nearly dropped her herbs.

"Oh...well spill." Piper said as she moved to the counter. Polly looked at the paper and then back up at Piper.

"Wow. You'll need to change the names to protect their privacy but Piper with a good editor this could be a best seller." Polly said with real conviction. It really wasn't until that moment that Piper allowed herself to believe she might actually write a book.

Halfway through her last week on probation, Roger called her. "They are returning to Litchfield. Her lawyer made sure it wasn't to protective custody in the SHU. They will be kept separate from the dorms and new guards have already been hired. But I can see her next week." He informed her. Piper wanted so much to see her. "Do you want me to tell her about you good news?"

"No, I'll tell her. My lawyer was very specific about keeping it quiet and no communicating until we know if the DA is going to use me. It is so frustrating to me though because...damn Roger I'd give anything to hold her, even for the few moments we're allowed to hug in visitation." Piper said to him and she felt her arms literally ache.

"I know Piper. I know she feels the same way. Hold on though, we're getting there," he responded. Piper tried to do just that. She met with her officer and signed the paperwork. For the first time in nearly a decade she was completely free of governmental control. She was lucky she lived in New York, she could still vote. It amazed her the number of people who are disenfranchised in many states because they were convicted of a felony. She felt some shame to know she'd never given it much thought until it happened to her. She knew women that would be released and move back home to states where their lives would be so much harder because of their time. It fueled her desire to publish her book.

She filled her days with work and charity. She started to write letters and give a few speeches about her time in prison. Roger visited Alex and he said she looked good. She complained about the food at Litchfield, albeit, quietly to him in the visitation room. He said she had asked him all about Piper and he told her everything he could. She wanted a letter but she knew they had to wait.

She got the call from the District Attorney's office on a Tuesday. They would be using her in the trial. He gave her the dates for her testimony and she went to her boss about arranging time off. He was more than willing to help. Piper wanted to focus on the trial as much as she possibly could so she worked ahead to make it easier for anyone that may have to fill in with her. She also took her book to Roger and helped her get a literary agent. He gave her invaluable information but she wouldn't ask him to read it. It was asking too much.

They were out to dinner when Roger excused himself to go to the bathroom. Chris spoke up, "Look Piper, I think you should let Roger read your book-in-progress. He has mentioned it to me at least three times and he feels a bit left out that you don't want him, a publisher who is a good friend, to even read the book." Piper had not really thought of it that way. She had been helped out by so many she didn't want to be a burden to anyone else or put him on the spot to say he liked it.

"I'll think about it Chris." She responded before Roger came back to the table. Roger was looking more and more happy. She suspected that soon he'd be asking Chris to move in with him. She hoped it worked out because they were both amazing people.

Her grandmother was very ill and Piper travelled with Cal to see her in Connecticut. Her father was worried about her parole. She knew her mother had a hard time keeping things from her friends so she just told him not to worry. They still had not told either of them about the testifying. Piper spent as much time as she could with her grandmother but right after she got back to the city she got the call. Piper cried most of the night and drove out that Saturday morning to be with Cal. He had been working on a sculpture of their grandmother's hands. He usually used raw metal and recycled material but their grandmother had always loved Ronin. So he was working with a clay model first and said he had found a nice piece of marble. Piper watched him work and was in awe of his love. Neri brought her some disgusting dandelion tea and she regaled her with stories of her wannabe prison wife and her pet name.

She watched Neri look at Cal and had to smile. She missed Larry in that moment. She missed that easy way of loving she used to have with him. He had called her a few times and she had been friendly but refused to see him or go out. It was over for her. She was grieving the loss of a life she thought she wanted, a life she thought she'd made for herself. She had come to realize that most of it was based on what seh thought seh was supposed to want, not what she actually believed. Piper wanted to work to help people, share her story without shame, travel, do crazy things for no reason and most of all, she wanted Alex.

They went to the funeral together, Cal and Piper. Neri wasn't good with funerals and stayed at the camp to watch their stuff. Cal brought one of his clay models and it was displayed by her picture. Piper cried through most of the service. She hated that she missed a year of her grandmother's life because of mistake she made in her early twenties. Her grandmother and written her every week. Piper got up and read some of one of her letters.

_Dear Piper, _

_Your father tells me not to worry that he has visited this place that holds my granddaughter and it isn't that bad. Yet he doesn't look me in the eye when he speaks of it. I am 93 years old and you would think he would know by now that I always know when he is lying. I can only pass along to you that he probably knows the truth from you as well. So don't sugar coat things for your father. It just makes him worry more. _

_Spend some of your time there thinking about the girl you were. Then, my dear golden haired girl, forgive her...if you have to do it each day when you wake up, do it. Eventually it will become habit and sink in to your soul. I'm not proud of what you did but when we talk on the phone or I read one of your letters, I know you are taking responsibility for your actions. That makes me proud of my son because he raised a girl that is able to do that. It isn't a common trait anymore. _

_If this old woman could give you anything it would be the gift of saying, " I don't know, but would you help me?" It would be the gift of saying, "I did that, how can I fix it?" It would be the gift of saying, "Thank you, I couldn't have done that without your help." _

She was proud of herself for making it through the excerpt without sobbing. Her mother was uncomfortable that Piper shared such an intimate letter. Piper chose to believe it was that rather than worry about Piper announcing to everyone that she had done time. She sat between Cal and her mother and struggled not to miss Alex. Larry came with his Mom, which Piper thought was sweet.

She thought of her pain and felt like an ass again for not coming forward to help Alex during her mom's funeral. She hoped that by being there for Alex now she could fix some of what she did. Piper thanked her grandmother and hoped he lessons actually stuck.

She returned to the city and to therapy. She couldn't shake the melancholy of her grandmother's death. She knew people like Poussey had been down when their parent died. She was grateful she got to see her again but missing her grandmother and Alex both had her depressed. The therapist didn't wish to assign Piper more medications so she worked with her to get back in to a more vigorous running schedule. Piper was working so much she had cut her running down to three days a week. She knew the wisdom of the plan and wanted to try it rather than going back on meds.

Roger met her for their lunch. He had seen Alex the weekend prior and she really wanted to hear how she was doing. "She is fine, she looks tired. I told her about your grandmother and I probably shouldn't have. You were out of town though and I let it slip. It upset her to know she couldn't be there for you."

Piper wished she had told him not to say anything but in her grief she had just not thought of it. "You see, when you're locked up and events like this happen...births, deaths..life, it hits you here." She pointed to her solar plexus. "You feel like you are missing so much. Add to that the fact I missed her mother's funeral and she remembers how that felt..." Roger sighed and brought his hand up to rub his temple. "It's okay. It is her reality, you can't shield her. Please tell her that I thought of her the whole time and I'm doing okay."

She reached in her bag and handed Roger a large envelope. "Piper we still can't exchange..." he began. She held up her hand. "No this is my book. A wise man pointed out to me that it would be silly to think of writing a book and not speak to my good friend, the publisher. Please Roger, read it and let me know what you think." Piper smiled as she said it and reached across their table to take him by the hand. He accepted and she could tell it made him feel better. He told her that Alex would be moved soon to a City holding cell for trial. That upset Piper but like everything else she couldn't do much about it. It did comfort her to know Nicky was with her.

When she mentioned Nicky he seemed to remember something, "Oh, good news there. She may be getting out on early release. It will probably be after the trial but apparently her case fell under the same sentencing rigmarole that yours did." Piper was thrilled to hear it. She wasn't hopeful about Alex. Her lawyer had explained that she had broken international laws as well and was high enough up in the organization to be placed out of assistance. That news had made Piper cry all the way home from his office.

The time for the trial had finally arrived. Piper traveled to the courthouse in a Taxi. She found the right courtroom and sat on the long wooden bench in the hall waiting on the session to begin. Polly arrived a few minutes later to lend her moral support. She didn't think they'd get to her testimony today. She could watch the proceedings as it wasn't a closed sessions. The District attorney had even said she could watch Alex. This was a bright spot in her day because for the first time in over a year they'd at least be in the same room.

She had fussed over her appearance. She had her hair in a side pony and it was bright and wavy. She work a sleeveless dress of bright blue. She wanted to be something bright that Alex could look at if she was lucky enough to see her today. She had spoken to the DA and Alex's attorney about providing them something good to eat while they were there.

At first her lawyer had said, she'd eat at the jail but Piper had got pissed off, "Look, they will be shackled and left to wait for hours while men that could care fucking less about them, make them wait. By the time they even get to the courthouse they will be stressed and tired. What harm could it do if you bring them something nice to eat or drink? I'll have it delivered to the bailiff during the lunch break each day, you just bring it in to them." He agreed when he realized she would try to deliver it herself if he didn't. She ordered Nicky two dogs and Alex the best hamburger she could find. If she had to be there the next day she was getting them both Thai food. She couldn't make him understand the importance of food to a person incarcerated.

Polly was getting impatient waiting. Piper gave her a piece of gum. She dropped the wrapper and as she bent down she caught a flash of orange in her peripheral vision. Her head shot up and she saw Nicky shuffling out of one door and into the hallway. Right behind her she saw the most beautiful sight she had ever seen. Alex Vause.

**I thought that would be a good way to start a Tuesday morning. Please review if you'd like more today. Peace, Faecym***


	56. Chapter 56 Trial Day One

Piper was up off that bench and walking towards her immediately. All she could see was Alex. Her hair was longer and her skin was pale against the bright orange landscape of her DOC jumpsuit. Her hands were cuffed and Piper's eyes went to her wrists. They looked too tight and she wanted to call out to the guard to release her. Alex was looking down and concentrating on not running in to Nicky as they were shuffled in to the hall.

Piper wasn't aware of the sound of heels running and the echo on the tile floor of the courthouse. All she could see was Alex. Yet she felt a hand on her arm and then her best friend was in front of her.

"You can't Pipes," was all Polly said before she flung her arms around Piper and locked her hands together behind her. Piper made a small sound, like an animal that just realized it was caged. It was that sound that brought Alex's head up and her intelligent eyes looking down the hall.

"I'll be damned, is that Chapman?" Nicky asked in her typical fashion. Alex stopped moving and drank in Piper's form. She started to smile and Piper pushed at Polly to let her go. Alex blinked and held up one wrist that was cuffed to her waist, telling her to stay back. Yet she herself took a shackled step her way down the hall and her face lit up with joy. Polly just squeezed her harder.

"You can't Pipes, I'm so sorry...but you can't right now." Polly said again. Alex's arm was grabbed by an officer. She was jerked back in their little two person line. Piper felt rage flood her body. She wanted everyone to fucking disappear so she could touch her. She knew if she could just touch her, hold her that her world would right itself again. Alex mouthed to her "Its okay'. Piper shook her head. It wasn't okay, there was less than 20 feet between them and she wasn't running in to her arms.

Piper felt a hand on her shoulders. She didn't care who it was she wouldn't take her eyes off of Alex. The officers got the go ahead to bring them into the other room. She watched as they started to shuffle on through the doors. Nicky winked at her and Alex just kept eye contact until they were through the door. One of the officers turned and stood with a bored expression, guarding the door to which they had just entered.

Once Alex was behind the door, Piper's whole body sagged. Polly held her the best she could.

"Come on, maybe the bench is better, "she heard someone say in a very Bensonhurst accent. Piper turned her head and saw Lorna Morello. She had on her typical red lipstick but with flawless makeup that made her seem like a photograph of herself. Piper blinked and looked back towards the door.

Polly said, "Piper snap out of it, I don't think we can hold you up." Piper shook her head to try and clear it. Her body seemed to reject the feeling that she had just seen Alex but her arms didn't hold her.

Morello, led them back to the bench and sat on one side of Piper while Polly took the other. Lorna reached across Piper and held her hand out to Polly. "Lorna Morello, I know Chapman here from our incarceration upstate." She said in a lower tone of voice.

"Polly Harper, I've known her since Freshman comp." she replied. Piper blinked and turned her head to look at Lorna. She raised one side of her lips in to a small sad smile. Lorna reached up and pushed a tendril of hair to the side of her face.

"Aw you look so beautiful. Vause drank you up like whiskey on Saturday night. I know I should move away from you as you're on probation but I wasn't sure your Polly here could keep you from her," she said with the kindness in her eyes that Piper recognized.

"She's scrappier than she looks." Piper finally said. She then added in a whisper, "Don't worry, I'm clear of The Man." Lorna smiled big and hugged her shoulders.

"So soon, soon you'll be able. Let's just get through this trial." She took a deep breath and Piper noticed she was very nervous.

Piper was curious. "Are you testifying?" she whispered. Lorna nodded and Piper's eyes widened. "Me too." She said.

It was then that her Lawyer, who had walked up to stand beside Polly said, "Then let's not talk ladies and go take our seats. The room is open." Piper blinked and looked up. He didn't have to be there today but she knew he had come to support her. She stood and Polly stood with her. She kept her hand on her arm. Piper introduced Lorna to him and he escorted them in to the courtroom. Immediately her eyes looked for Alex. She found her in a section to the right of the jury. She was sitting and whispering with Nicky. Joe motioned for them to sit on a bench about halfway down and directly in front of the witness stand. Piper stood frozen in the isle.

He put his hand on her elbow, "Come on Piper, sit here. It's going to be alright." His voice was so clear and strong that Piper actually wanted to believe him. Polly pulled her gently to move in to sit on the bench seat beside her. Lorna was already seated but sitting up. Piper saw her face and she looked at Nicky with such love that Piper thought she might cry. Lorna hadn't been able to see Nicky since it all begun. Piper settled and reached across Polly's lap and took Morello's hand. Polly placed her hand on both of theirs in a comforting way.

She couldn't see Alex as Joe was unbuttoning his suit jacket to sit. When he settled and leaned back she could see Alex was looking at her. She was fighting a smile and even though the light reflected off her glasses Piper could tell she was happy. Alex pushed her glasses up in a way that told Piper she was nervous. It was then she realized Alex wasn't shackled as she sat there. That made Piper so happy that she nearly cried.

"My God, Piper you radiate longing." Joe said quietly to her, " Roger said he would be here after the midday break. I hope I'll do for a stand in till then?" He teased her a bit and Piper drug her eyes away from Alex to smile up at him.

"You are better than a stand in. None of this would be possible without you. " Piper replied to him with true gratitude. Polly introduced herself and Piper blushed embarrassed. She introduced them both to Joe calling him the best Lawyer on the planet. After the pleasantries, she looked back at Alex. She was watching her with a guarded expression. Nicky was mouthing something to Morello. Piper was shocked beyond belief to read the words, "I love you," from her lips. She looked to Lorna to see her return the phrase with an ear splitting grin. She felt blessed to see the exchange.

"I feel like I'm the token straight girl in an L Word episode," Polly observed. Piper laughed hearing her but her eyes stayed on Alex. Alex actually jerked when she heard the laugh and put her hand on her chest. Others filed in to room and finally the defendants came out of the door to the left of the witness stand. Piper was surprised to see all three guards; Mendez, Walsh and Dawson come in to the room. She looked to Joe confused.

"They opted to share counsel and be tried together," Joe explained. She noted Fig wasn't among them. She felt her body stiffen when Mendez, then Dawson looked her way. She felt fear clutch at her throat and noticed Lorna clutched at her hand. Polly held their hands tighter.

"It's okay Piper, I swear I'd bite off his nose before he could get two feet from you." Polly said with such venom that Piper had to smile. She looked at them though. She looked at each one of them with complete contemp. Walsh sat down without looking up. Dawson just sneered at her. Mendez had an unreadable expression.

Piper saw movement beside Joe and looked over to see Larry as he sat down. She turned to look at him and he smiled at her. "I'm here if you need me," was all he said. Piper smiled and nodded at him. Her eyes sought Alex again and she was looking down at her hands. Piper frowned and wished she'd look up again but it didn't matter because the bailiff asked them all to rise for the Honorable Judge Kendra Sisk. She felt better it was a woman. They watched as the Jury came in to the room. They were a mix of race and split evenly male and female. The charges were read. They were charged with assault, sexual assault, drug possession with intent to sell and other crimes that Piper thought meant they forced people to sell for them.

The judge went straight to work asking the prosecutor to start. The first witness was called and it was Officer Kitzi Holden. She took the stand and it took Piper a few moments to put it all together. The new girl that had cost Alex her visitation was the undercover cop! They listened as she detailed getting the case and being placed undercover in Litchfield. She said Kaputo and her counselor knew she was a cop but that was all. She was placed in the laundry to watch. She detailed how the drugs were brought in and that she approached Vause one night after she was assaulted.

Piper felt her heart start to race and her throat close. Alex had been assaulted? Polly held on tight to her hand and Morello made a little comforting noise in her throat. Holden detailed how she caught Nicky trying to help Alex wrap her ribs. She knew Alex was the one that came forward so she told them both who she was and they helped cover up the assault. The prosecutor asked her why and she said because if the bruises were seen, say during a strip search, Alex would have been thrown in the SHU and the drug operation would have halted. She was collecting evidence and needed it to seem like she and Alex were at odds. She described the staged prank they pulled and how it got her visitation privs pulled.

Piper didn't know whether to be pissed at Alex for lying or impressed at her genius. It was much like what she did when Henton attacked her. The officer gave specific notes about how many times she saw Dawson, Mendez and Walsh in the laundry. She told exactly how many prisoners picked up drugs per laundry day. She was asked about how they paid for these drugs as they didn't have money. She said others on the outside paid for their fix. She said they targeted junkies that had families that would pay them to keep their loved ones from withdraw. She said some, that had families that were too far away or too poor paid with sexual favors. She was asked specifically if she saw these assaults. She said she witnessed each one of the defendants receive oral sex at least three times in the back room of the laundry in exchange for four pills. Piper watched Alex as she spoke. She was looking up at the Officer on the stand. Piper tried so hard not to cry. She knew it was dumb luck they hadn't tried to get Alex hooked on drugs again.

Holden went on to explain that Alex was the one that would get the drugs and give them out but others in the laundry knew what she was doing. When asked why didn't other inmates come forward? The defense attorney objected stating it was speculation but the Judge overruled. Holden responded, "It was their word against the guard and the guard has all the power." With that statement, the judge called recess for one hour. Piper was stunned to see it was noon already. They all stood as the judge exited the chambers. Piper watched as Alex was led from the courtroom and was thankful she didn't have to witness her placed in cuffs. Joe excused himself and walked over to speak to the prosecutor.

Larry gave her a hug and said, "I know that was hard for you. You okay, Pipes?" She nodded and they walked out to the hallway. She looked immediately towards the hallway where she'd seen Alex but the guard was just standing at the door. The food arrived and Alex's attorney appeared. He took it back and told Piper he'd return to talk with her. She sat on the bench and stared at the door where he disappeared.

"You want something to eat Piper?" Polly offered. She shook her head. The thought of food was enough to make her nearly throw up. All she kept seeing was Alex bruised and beaten. She looked to Lorna who was sitting beside her on the bench. She looked up at her and nodded then she reached up and pulled Piper's head to her shoulder.

"We're gonna get through this and things will get better." She said with such confidence Piper almost believed it. Larry brought her a bottle of water and insisted she drink something. Piper smiled and sipped at it. She introduced Larry to Lorna and he looked afraid for a moment. She remembered that he didn't know about her new freedom, but she didn't explain.

Alex's lawyer returned and asked to speak to Piper privately. They walked down the hall out of range of listening ears. "They tore in to the food. I told them where it came from and Nichols laughed. Alex said and I quote, "The burger is almost as good as you look and she is sorry for keeping things from you," he said. Piper nodded and swallowed.

"How bad was it?"she didn't elaborate. He said he only read the statements from Holden and Nichols but she had been beaten around the ribs and stomach. "So it wouldn't show," Piper said. She wondered if there was a special course those fuckers took on how to beat a woman and cover it up. He told her that Alex wanted him to assure her that she was okay and asked him to see if she'd leave when she testified.

Piper's head shot up, " Why? Why does she want me to leave?" He looked down the hall to the door that led to where Alex was kept. "She will be asked to detail the assault and wants to spare you." He said finally.

Piper closed her eyes and clutched her arms about her stomach. "Tell her no, that if I could tell her about what Henton did to me and she could listen, I will do the same. Tell her to stop worrying about me and just enjoy the view."Piper said holding out her hand to show her dress and body. He laughed and nodded, then went back to pass the message along to his client. Piper walked back to her friends.

Polly rubbed her arm and looked at her questioning. "She wants me to not listen to the testimony. She is worried." Piper explained. Polly nodded and Larry gave her a hug. The recess was over and Officer Holden was cross examined. Nicky rubbed her tummy and winked at Piper. Alex just smiled one of her sexy smiled and Piper felt her knees weaken. He pointed out that she didn't see Alex beaten but only the aftermath. He had her admit that anyone could have worked Alex over. She hated the man instantly. He also had her admit that she only saw Alex handle the drugs. The prosecution objected and pointed out that she did witness the officers giving the drugs to the inmates that gave them oral sex. The judge agreed. He took two hours to try and shake the officer's testimony. Piper was amazed at how composed she was during the entire thing.

When the defense was finished the prosecution asked if they could redirect. He asked Officer Holden to characterize Alex Vause and what she did during this investigation. The officer looked over to Alex, who was staring at her hands and said, "She is a hero. I've never seen anyone faced with such overwhelming opposition stand so strong."

He thanked her and she stepped down. He then called Alex to the stand. Piper sat up and watched her walk over and place her hand on the bible. The fact she swore on a book that Piper knew for a fact she detested made her laugh. They'd have better luck if they asked her to swear on _Marching Powder_ by McFadden and Young.

Alex sat and looked up. Piper was sitting directly in front of her and she rested her eyes on her. She gave a small smile and Piper could tell she was comforted by the view. She gave her name and what she was in prison for doing. He asked her to take her time and give him a detailed description of what she was doing.

"It was in April when he started. It was Mendez at first. I was released from the SHU, Special Housing Unit, or solitary. Mendez patted down my girlfriend at the time, Piper Chapman and felt her up. I lost it and tried to jump him. Mr. Kaputo had witnessed it and I was able not to get in trouble. After that, officers Walsh and Dawson would patted her down whenever they could. If anyone was around they didn't touch her sexually but if it was just us they always felt her up." The prosecutor asked her to clarify who she stood and where they touched. Alex asked if she could stand and the judge said she could. She moved out of the box and assumed the pat down position. She then pointed to the areas, breasts and crotch where they would grab or rub. The defense objected to this display but the judge overruled. Alex went to sit back down and the prosecutor asked her why she didn't complain or fight back.

Alex looked at him, " Because we didn't want to be separated and put in the SHU for our 'own protection.' Plus Piper was short on time, just a few weeks to go, so we thought we could ride it out. It was a week in to watching them abuse her."

The defense counsel objected to the term and the judge again overruled and told Alex to continue. "I had late duty one night and Officer Dawson came down to the laundry. He told me that if I wanted them to stop patting down Piper I had to do something for him. At first, I thought he meant sexually." The prosecutor asked Alex at that point what her sexual orientation was and the defense objected due to revelence. The prosecutor stated he wanted to point out that Miss Vause was known as a lesbian and did not wish for sexual attention from a male guard.

The judge agreed and Alex answered, " I'm a lesbian, always have been. It was well known in the prison and equally well known that Piper and I were a couple." She was directed to continue and she told them about how he hit her in the face when she told him to fuck off. He then told her that Mendez wanted to have her beaten to death but had thought of better uses for her. He wanted her to sell his drugs for him since he was stuck at gate duty because of her. She told them she pretty much told Dawson to fuck off and he hit her. She was asked where and she said her lip. She told everyone she had run into a dryer.

"It was after that, he started to feel Piper up more, always facing me so I could see his face. Once he even patted his pocket to make me see how easy it would be to put the drugs in her uniform. I...gave in and agreed. Piper had only a few days left and.." she swallowed.

The prosecutor said, "Miss Vause, you named Piper Chapman in your case did you not?" She said yes. "Then why did you care if she went home? Wouldn't you have benefitted by her staying there? I mean you were going to be separated. Why didn't you just let him plant the drugs?" Alex looked over to Piper and swallowed. "I thought about it. I admit it. But there were a few reasons, one , she would not have been with me but most likely sent down the hill..um I mean to maximum security. I knew Piper couldn't handle that.. and two, it is very simple really, I love her. I wanted her to be free and to make up for everything I did that caused her to be there in the first place." Her voice broke and for the first time Alex was struggling. Piper closed her eyes to her pain for a moment, then she leaned forward. Alex didn't look up at her.

The prosecutor brought Alex some water and she said thank you. He urged her to continue. " I told my lawyer the next day about what was going on and asked him to go to the state authorities. I wanted it on the record that I was trying to resist the dealing. He assured me he wouldn't stop until there was an investigation. I had late duty again right before Piper got out and Dawson brought me a list of inmates that had purchased the drugs. I asked him how he was paid and he told me that family members paid Mendez and he split the profits. He explained to me where the drugs would come in and where they were kept. I told him I could sell them and I didn't need his help. He threatened me and Piper again so I tried to be quiet. It was hard because he is a complete ass." Alex added. The jury laughed and the defense objected to the name calling. The judge sustained the objection and told Alex to stick to the facts. Alex retorted that his being an asshole was a fact to everyone that ever met him.

Again the room laughed. Dawson fumed and Piper couldn't help but laugh again. The judge hit the gavel down and Alex jumped. She apologized and then the prosecutor told her to continue. "I didn't know but Piper had overheard us talking. She was livid and wanted me to go to administration. I knew it would do no good and told her I would take care of it. I had to beg her not to do anything to jeopardize her date. She gave in to me but I was a nervous wreck for two days waiting on her to be released. Dawson patted her down once more and Walsh did the last one before she was released." Piper remembered Walsh's hands before she went in to see Bell. She didn't know that Alex had seen him.

The prosecutor asked, " So she was out, why did you continue to sell Miss Vause? Why not stop then and tell someone?" Alex looked over to Piper. She had wondered herself but figured they had threatened her.

"I told them I wouldn't do it again. I had given the pills out once, Piper's last day in...so Walsh and Dawson took me to the boiler room. Walsh held my arms back and Dawson hit me numerous times in the stomach and ribs." She whispered the last part and the judge asked her to speak in to the microphone. She repeated it and Piper thought she may throw up. She had never been down below the laundry but knew from others it was dark and rat infested.

Alex continued, "I still told them no and he..." Alex looked again at Piper. "showed me pictures on a phone. They were of Piper getting on the subway, walking in to work, even walking arm and arm with her Larry, her fiance." Piper made a small noise in her throat and Larry actually cursed. They had continued to threaten her. Oh her poor baby. Piper closed her eyes and felt for certain she would be sick. Roger came in as she was speaking and sat beside Lorna. Polly leaned over and whispered to him. Piper just stared at Alex as silent tears fell.

"What did they say to you specifically Miss Vause?" he prompted. Alex responded that Dawson told her that Walsh was an Army sniper and he'd kill Piper if she didn't stop resisting and do what she did best, push drugs. The jury seemed riled by this statement. The prosecutor asked if Mendez was present at the time of her assault. She said he came in later and picked her up. He straightened her uniform and told her not to have visitation for awhile and do as she was told, then he left her down there. She said she was trying to move out when Nichols appeared out of the darkness and helped her upstairs.

"Nicole Nichols, a fellow inmate? Was she a friend?" the prosecutor asked. Alex looked over at Nicky who was still sitting by the jury.

"She is my best friend. She helped me out and to the bathroom. She went to get a cloth to wrap my ribs." Alex explained. The prosecutor asked her if Nicky had seen or heard anything. "She told me she heard it all and that I was in deep shit. She also advised I contact my lawyer right away. She was wrapping my ribs in the bathroom when Officer Holden appeared. I didn't know she was a cop at first so we tried to get her to leave. But she told me my lawyer's name and where I had first met him. She told us she was gathering information to make an arrest. She told us about how Caputo and my counselor were aware of her being a cop and that Officer Bennett had come forward as well about a conspiracy to cover up illegal drug activity in the prison. She asked me about my dealings with Warden Figuaro and I told her that she was having me sexually please her about twice a week. " Alex admitted this and looked down.

The prosecutor asked her to continue. Alex took a sip of water and looked up at Piper. Piper smiled at her and tried not to show how her words were making her feel. "I also told her that Figuaro had met with Mendez once while I was in there and that she was aware of what he was doing. She had warned him not to get greedy and cause any more trouble that Kaputo could notice. Officer Holden and I devised a plan where we would argue and she'd ruin some of my loads, I'd retaliate and lose my visitation long enough to heal so we could continue to gather evidence without alerting anyone else. I made her promise they would protect Piper and she told me they would have plain clothes police follow her until the officers were arrested." Alex continued to explain how Holden witnessed her selling and the oral sexual assaults. Alex gave specific dates of each encounter and how many drugs she passed on and what they were. She was very thorough. She told them that once her lawyer told her it was alright, she went in to Kaputo's office with Nicky and they both filed official reports against the officers and the Warden. He put her in SHU and there she waited for two months until she was taken out to a medical facility to await their indictment.

The judge felt that was a good place to start. She told Alex she'd return tomorrow to finish testifying and she'd still be under oath. He called an end to the session and everyone stood. Alex was led down and she couldn't see Piper behind the officers that stood. Piper tried to push out of the line and walk over to see her, but Roger held her by the waist.

"Not now Piper, you can't...it's okay though, she is doing great."He reassured her. Piper knew it wouldn't be so great when she was cross examined. She watched as Alex was led out of the room and didn't start to sob until the door had closed.

**Shew...took me awhile, sorry I actually fell to sleep with the laptop on my lap. I'm not much of a legal writer but I hope you can follow along well. I know..Angst...so close yet no touchy! Please Review! F**


	57. Chapter 57 Aftermath and Trial Day Two

Piper was happy the press wasn't allowed at the trial. The government had done a good job of placing a gag order on the proceedings so Piper was able to leave the courthouse without any issue. Not that she was aware of anything around her. Roger and Polly took her straight home. She sat before her bay window. It was one of her favorite spots in her home. The wall on each side of the window and underneath the seat, was filled with books. She loved to read there and had often imagined Alex reading to her there. Polly tried to fix her something to eat and Roger brought her a stiff drink.

Piper just stared out the window. The numbness of shock was wearing off and she tossed back her drink, then threw the glass against the wall. She was tearing books off the shelf in a rage three seconds later. She threw the pillows and hit the wall so hard with her fist it broke through the sheetrock. Roger got a hold of her and was able to bring her to the floor amidst the mess her rage had made.

"Why? Why? We were paying our price, why the fuck did they hurt her? Nothing she did deserved that! My baby, oh fuck I want Alex!"Piper screamed and fought until she lay exhausted in Roger's arms. Polly came and sat in the floor beside them and they held Piper. She had not raged so much since Pensatucky. Her knuckles were bleeding some yet Piper didn't feel a thing.

Roger murmured, "Let it all out Pipes, do it now because we have more to go." She knew he was right. She was going to see Alex again tomorrow and she would hear more. Eventually, Polly got Piper up off the floor, cleaned and wrapped her hand and put her to bed. Roger left but Larry and Pete came over to sit with them. Polly brought Finn in to her room and he got Piper to sit up and interact. It was impossible not to be enchanted by her Godson. He seemed to sense she was sad and snuggled in to his "Pi" ( that was the name that stuck) patting her with his little hand to comfort her. Soon, they both dropped off to sleep. She awoke when Pete picked up Finn to carry him home.

"Larry is going to stay with you, is that alright?"Polly asked softly. It was one in the morning. Piper nodded. Larry slept on the couch in her room. Piper watched the window for hours. She saw he was sleeping and pulled out some of Alex's letters. She pulled out the last ones and read it quietly out loud to herself, "_ So when you worry about me, remember I am feeling just fine. No matter what comes my way, I feel fine because I can close my eyes and see you walking down the street free. I picture you playing with Finn or drinking wine with Polly. I picture you entertaining all the people at work with your casserole stories. I picture you running in Prospect Park. My mind is free with you. That is what matters now doesn't it? _

_They may chain my body, abuse me and lock me away but they can't hurt me. "_

Now she knew they had done just that. They had abused her and locked her away. Piper felt that every moment of freedom she'd had in the past year had been bought with Alex's blood. She folded her letter with gentle reverence and put it back in the drawer.

She was up before the dawn and made them breakfast. He was up and showered in the guest bath. He had brought a change of clothes and told her he would be going with her to the courthouse. They ate in silence. Piper's hand was stiff and he rewrapped it after her shower. She made herself eat something and sipped her coffee as she looked at her living room. Polly had cleaned up the book. The only evidence of her rage was the fist size hole in the wall. Larry stood beside her and looked at it.

"You know, you could just put a frame around it and call it Rage Art, Cal would laugh." He observed. Piper smiled at him.

"I know this can't be easy for you. Thank you for helping me. I don't want you to think..." Piper began. He shrugged and dismissed her with a hand.

"No, I don't think anything Piper. It just feels right to be here. Come on, we'll share a cab." He took her cup and placed it down on the table before leading her out, holding her good hand.

At the Courthouse, Piper sat watching the door she knew Alex would come through. She was hoping the would come early enough that morning so she could have fresh coffee delivered to them. Polly brought lattes. Piper dug in her purse and opened the lid of one of the cups, wrote something on the inside and then put it back. Polly handed them over to Alex's lawyer right before Piper saw the Orange that announced her arrival. This time Alex was first through the door. Piper heard heels behind her then Lorna stood next to Piper. She was breathing hard and Piper reached up to rub her back some. Yet her eyes didn't leave Alex. There were rings under her eyes, she was tired and worried. Piper smiled and hoped she looked fresh and pretty for Alex.

Alex looked down the hall at her and seemed to visibly relax. She heard Nicky say, "See Vause, there she is oh and she's standing beside that hottie over there. Damn we're lucky." Lorna laughed and waved to Nicky. Alex just nodded and stared at Piper. Her eyes were very full of emotion and Piper wanted so much to walk down the hall and kiss worry away. Alex's eyes traveled up her body and they stopped on her wrapped hand. Piper put it behind her and immediately remembered doing that motion before.

"I'm fine." She said out but Alex had paled again. The guard pushed her forward but Alex stood stubborn. She looked up again to Piper, her eyes asking " what did you do?" Alex's own attorney then moved to stand before her and urge her to go through the door. Alex went reluctantly. Piper sat down on the same bench as the day before. Polly asked Piper what she wrote on the lid to the latte and how she knew Alex would read it. "She always takes the lid off to look at the latte. She will not drink it with the lid on." Piper said with assuredy. She knew how Alex drank her coffee and international teas...all of it. Polly asked again about the note.

Piper replied simply, "I heart you."

They went in and sat in the same place. Roger joined them but Joe had to be in court that day. Piper didn't look at the defendents when they came in to the room. She did not that Dawson was attempting to look more contrite and less agressive. She supposed he was given notes on his demeanor the day before. The judge came in and they started the procedure. Alex seemed more perky and she was thankful she sent in the coffee. She was called back on to the stand and reminded she was still under oath. The defense attorney attacked her immediately. She had her speak about what it was Alex had done to get in to prison. He badgered at her, saying pretty much out right that Alex was the one that had the drug deal there in prison. Alex stuck to her testimony and did not get riled at all.

"So you say Mr. Dawson hit you in the face and busted your lip? No one saw this assault. You say he and Officer Walsh beat you around the waist, yet you have no medical record from the prison to support this. Do you expect us to believe you worked for two weeks with bruised or broken ribs and no one noticed, Miss Vause?"

Alex snorted before she responded, "I'm sure they noticed or some did. We live in a small fishbowl. What I'm saying is as long as I didn't have to strip search and thus go on the record as having bruises, no one cared." This caused some murmuring. Piper watched her face. She could tell Alex was getting irritated with the man.

"So you would have us believe one of the reasons you started selling drugs again in prison was out of love?" he asked sarcastically. Alex clenched her jaw and had to be instructed to answer the question.

"I would have you believe what I say, yes. I can only tell you my reasons believing me is a personal choice each of you have to make." Alex said and as she did, she looked each member of the Jury in the eye. The defense attorney approached her and tried to stand between them. "So is the object of this so called affection, in this room, Miss Vause?" Alex tensed all over as he asked that.

"Yes." She answered succinctly.

He made a show of turning to look at the small gathering of people. Piper flushed some but never took her eyes off of Alex. He asked Alex to point her out.

She looked up at the Judge. The judge nodded to Alex and then she stated, "Please do as asked Miss Vause." Piper was seated between Larry and Lorna. Polly was on the other side of Larry. She had her hands clasped before her in her lap. She just watched Alex's face.

She pointed to Piper. "There she is.." Piper smiled softly at her. She just looked at her face and Alex finally met her eyes. They stared across the room at each other. Alex relaxed instantly . The jury looked to where Alex referred. The judge asked the record show the witness identified the person in the courtroom gallery.

"How much did you pay her to collaborate your story about Mr. Dawson busting your lip?" He asked outright.

Alex looked at him and replied, " I did not Pay Piper one red cent. " He went on in disbelief asking if she was rewarded in other ways. He basically was accusing Alex of sexually intimidating Piper in to agreeing with her. Alex was steadfast and denied each statement with simple phrases. Finally the prosecutor's objects were sustained and the defense attorney was asked to carry on questioning. He did. He went over facts and tried to mess her up on her facts. She didn't waiver. When he was finished, the prosecutor asked for redirect.

"Granted, and after we will stop for midday break." The judge responded as she made notes on a pad.

"Miss Vause, were you offered a deal to testify today?" the prosecutor asked outright.

Piper perked listening. Alex sipped her water before she said, "No." He said thank you and requested that she remain under oath to possibly be recalled to the stand. The judge agreed and they broke for lunch. Piper watched Alex until she went in to the room. Her lawyer approached Piper as she stood.

"She is insistant that I find out what is wrong with your hand."he said showing some of is exasperation with his client. Piper could care less.

"Why the fuck didn't you work a deal for her?" Piper said with clenched teeth. He looked at her and sighed.

"Because she wouldn't let me, that is why. She said she didn't want her testimony to be weakened by anyone that thought she was doing it for her own gain. She also said she got more than her fair share of time reductions with her sentence."he replied.

Piper closed her eyes and counted to ten. She opened them and he stood there waiting for a reply. "Tell her I put my fist through a wall that I wanted to be Dawson's face. Her Thai food is getting cold, please bring it to her," she said calmly. He blinked at her change in demeanor.

"Oh she said something else after her latte, "Thank you and Ditto. Whatever that means.." he mumbled as he went off to deliver the food. Piper stood in the middle of the courtroom and pondered what this mean. Alex had roughly a little over four years left, unless they remove good time because of her time in the SHU. She hoped that woudln't be teh case. She also calculated that she would not stay at Litchfield. It wouldn't be safe since she had turned on three guards. No, it isn't safe. She would be moved. Piper tried to figure out then, how she could rework her schedule, work from home, whatever it meant to get to see her. Her mind went to the pratical now that she knew how much time they had left.

It was their sentence. She remembered what Red said to her once, "your family does your time with you". She had balked at the idea because she sure felt alone. Yet when she thought about it she knew and she had learned over this agonizing time not seeing Alex that it was a different kind of hell to be the one Free. Lorna walked up to Piper and told her to sit on the bench. She sat and pulled up her big purse. "Ya know the food carts around here are ridiculous. The lines are long and the food is at least two bucks more expensive than down on my block. Here. I made us sandwiches. I couldn't really make myself eat last night and I figured you didn't even try," she said in her everyday tone. She gave Piper a bottle of water and a sandwich wrapped in white paper. Her bread was rye, toasted and she had no mustard. It made her smile. She was hungry if she thought about it. Lorna took a bite of her sandwhich. Piper slowly started to eat.

Lorna said, "Let me see, sitting with Chapman trying to get her to eat because she is missing Vause. Is this Litchfield?" she asked looking around like she was confused.

Piper smiled but didn't answer as she chewed. She took a sip of water after Lorna opened the bottle and handed it to her. She then replied, "I think about it every day. So yeah, maybe it is like church, ya know.." Piper began.

"Oh tell me Chapman, this I gotta hear, how is Litchfield like church," she said before taking another bite. Piper smiled again and ate more before replying. She didn't see Polly leaning against the back of the courthouse watching in awe as her best friend ate lunch.

"Didn't God say something like 'wherever you gather in my name, there I am?' " she asked. Lorna snorted and said it was something like that. Piper continued, " Well, wherever two or more former Inmates of Litchfield Correction Center gather...there it is..or at least in the forefront of our memories."

Lorna chuckled and had to agree. "You know the only thing I miss about that place is the people and I want them out of there more than anything. Especially one in particular. I tell ya Piper, I've turned my family upside down over her. My grandmother wont even talk to me. She thinks I need an exorcism." Piper nodded listening.

"It was your greatest fear. Are you dating anyone besides Nicky?"Piper asked outright. She found herself wondering and they were alone. Lorna looked at her and smiled.

"You always had away of being blunt sometimes, Chapman and more than a little protective. I'm glad. I worried less about her knowing you were there when I left." She admitted. Piper said much the same about Nicky but also that she was jealous as hell. She was very surprised to hear Lorna admit her jealousy with Alex.

"They talk about everything and know things I just couldn't hope to understand. I'm always asking myself, 'what does she see in me?' I've been taking classes over at Kingsborough at night. It's a bit slow but it helps the nights go faster," she said in a way that made Piper's heart hurt.

"I know what you mean. I'm...writing a book...about my year in prison." Piper admitted out loud. She asked Lorna what she thought. She said she wasn't surprised.

"You're really smart Piper and you watch people. " she stated. Piper told her she'd change her name and protect her. Lorna rolled her eyes, " I know that. We're family." Piper swallowed her water and blinked away a tear. She just nodded and took another bite of her sandwich. Too soon the recess was over. Lorna cleaned up their mess and had just got back from freshening up when their girls walked in and sat. Nicky grinned looking over then dropped it once her name was called to take the stand. She went up and did the oath. She didn't manage it without a smirk. She stated her name and Piper had to blink. Gone was Nicky the smart ass. She looked at her more carefully and saw her hair was pulled back to show her open face. She sat up with posture that Piper's own mother would have killed to have seen her display. She was smart and soft spoken.

Lorna literally sighed. Piper looked over at Alex and had to bite her cheek not to laugh. The prosecutor asked Nicky to tell what happened the night of Alex's assault. She took a breath and looked up at Lorna. "I was coming down to the laundry to sit with Alex. I was out of bounds, meaning where I wasn't supposed to be at that time, so I was sneaking down there in the shadows. I walked in to the work area where usually Miss Vause would sit and read while watching the dryers when I saw two Correctional Officers standing under the wall lamp by the maintence room door. " He stopped her and asked her how far she thought it was from where she was standing and the door. She said about 20 ft. She then described ducking down between two laundry bins. She said she heard Alex say she didn't want to go down there and to please let her leave. Piper balled up both of her hands. Her right hand hurt from last night and the pain was a welcome distraction. Polly reached out and took her left hand and forced it open. She linked their fingers. The prosecutor proceeded and brought out a diagram of the laundry and a schematic of the boiler room. Piper focused on that rather than look at Alex. She couldn't look at her as Nicky spoke because if she did she would cry.

Polly leaned in and whispered, "She looks from Nicky to you and never up at the Jury. She seems upset her story is being told. It is done, she is past it, just like you. " Piper nodded and clutched her hand. Nicky described what she heard them say. She was hiding directly across from where they had Alex. She said she was ashamed of not coming forward but she was literally afraid for her life and reasonably sure they would not kill Alex, simply because she would be missed by 10PM count. Piper had to agree. She would have jumped them and got the shit beat out of herself too, but she wasn't as smart as Nicky at times. She knew how to survive prison with sadist guards. She was serving the last year of her sentence. The prosecutor asked her if she was given a chance at a deal and she said yes, but also that she was appealing based on recent changes in the mandatory sentencing laws.

The defense attorney focused on her crimes and got her to admit she was an addict. Nicky was rather soft spoken about it but looked over to the Jury as she spoke, "I'm three years clean. I've been an active member of NA while serving my time at Litchfield. Yes, I am an addict." He asked her if she was high that night when she came to visit Alex. He asked her if she was a name conveniently left off the list nof names given by her 'best friend'. The prosecution objected due to the fact the question had been answered in the above statement that she had been clean for three years. He accused the defense of badgering the witness in a blatant attempt to get the jury to disregard testimony based on a medical condition. The judge sustained and Nicky didn't have to answer the question. She was calm and looked politely up at the judge. The defense said they had no further questions for her. The prosecution did not redirect. Nicky was asked to step down. Much to Lorna and Piper's discomfort, Nicky was removed from the courtroom after she testified. Piper hoped she would not be made to wait restrained while Alex was still in the courtroom. She doubted they would run the jail van to and from the jail twice.

Piper blinked when she heard her name called. Polly stood and moved back for her to get up. She stood and walked out. She was the first witness to move from the gallery up and people watched her. She was wearing a gray dress. It was something she'd wear to a business meeting. She put her hand on the bible and said the oath. She was nervous and wished suddenly that Alex had left with Nicky.

The prosecutor asked her to say who she was and why she was incarcerated at Litchfield. "My name is Piper Chapman and I pleaded guilty to the transfer of drug money across international borders and I served 13 months of my 15 month sentence at Litchfield." He asked her how old she was and the circumstances of her crime. The defense objected due to revelence and the prosecution countered that the defense had called the crediblity of both former witnesses in to account and he wanted the Jury to understand the nature of their relationship. The judge overuled the objection and Piper carried on. "I was twenty-four, I was in love and I knew it was illegal. I did it anyway because I wanted to help her. She, Alex Vause, was my girlfriend at the time. I knew she was a drug importer and I chose to do it. I plead guilty and did my time. " Piper said succinctly. He then asked Piper if she had experienced abuse from the guards seated before her.

She nodded then was instructed kindly by the judge to speak out loud. "Oh um yes sorry...I was touched intimately by each of them against my will, pretty much on a daily or weekly basis. Officer Mendez, never missed a chance to leer at or touch me intimately when he patted me down to go to visitation. Officers Dawson and Walsh would not do it each time but if we were relatively alone. She spoke clearly but was very pale. He asked her about the night she came down to the laundry. Piper explained how she walked down and darted behind the dryers. She got up and pointed to the space on the diagram. When she turned to walk back she saw Alex. She was pale herself and leaning up. Her eyes wouldn't leave Piper. It shook her. She felt a wave of longing and her hands started to shake.

She sat down and he asked her to continue, "He had given her a list and told her to give them to the girls with their laundry bag. She told him she could do it and he told her to watch her mouth or he'd bust it again." Piper said the last part and her voice broke. She swallowed and sipped the water. She then continued, " he said she had better be glad that Mendez didn't do to her what he first wanted to do. Alex told him she'd do it but only if they stopped patting me down and let me have my date...meaning leave when my sentence was up." The audience and jury murmured. Besides her statement Piper had never told anyone about that night. She looked at Polly and she smiled back at her.

"Miss Chapman, why didn't you call out or demand he stop using you to blackmail her?" the defense objected, he rephrased and Piper answered, "Because I was afraid if he knew there was a witness he would put me in the SHU, possibly both of us. I told myself if he touched her I'd be opening my own dryer door and hitting him in the lip." She said coldly. The audience and jury murmured. The prosecutor requested that the defendents rise and allow the jury to see the difference in body size of the officers to Piper. There was a sidebar and Piper waited patiently listening to their arguments. The prosecution won and they all stood. Piper moved down to stand before them. She had been told not to wear heels that day. Now she knew why. She knew Dawson was the tallest, she remembered how he was on her suspect list for Henton. The prosecutor asked her while she stood there, looking at them, if she really felt she was going to be able to keep him off of Alex. Piper said looking at him, "No, but I would have tried. I had to, I couldn't let him just hurt her." He asked her what the penalty was for touching a correctional officer.

Piper looked over at the Jury and said, "You go down the hill, or to maximum immediately." Some looked down and scribbled on pads and a few looked right at her. She noticed two of them looked at Alex. She sat back down and sipped her water. Piper told them how he exited through the back of the work room using his key. They entered in to the exhibit a video from the exterior of the officer leaving that exit near the exact time Piper said. It was played and Piper explained where the exit led to and how he could just resume what should have been his outside rounds.

The prosecutor asked her to continue and Piper said," I approached Alex afterwards and begged her not to do it. I was worried for her safety and afraid she'd get more time. She told me she had a plan and not to worry. She can be very confident but I knew she was scared. She begged me..." Piper saw Alex drop to her knees again before her and she couldn't speak for a moment. She took a breath and blinked a few times.

"I said I wouldn't say anything." She finished. He asked her about her last days and she told about the last pat downs and leaving. She looked at Lorna for that part and she just nodded confidently at her as if to say she was doing a great job.

"Miss Chapman, have you seen Alex Vause since that day you left Litchfield?" He asked.

Piper replied, "I saw her for the first time yesterday in the hall, then as she testified." He then asked her if she had spoken to Miss Vause since she saw her yesterday. Piper said no and explained she had been on probation and was not allowed to be in contact with persons with a record.

"Miss Chapman are you currently under those restrictions?" He asked again.

"No Sir, my parole ended almost two months ago." She said. She explained she got early release based on her case falling in the non violent drug offense range, her first offense and so on. " So you are not getting a better deal on your sentence for your testimony today? "

Piper said, "No. I am not. I have paid my debt to society for my crimes." She was quiet as she said it then she added, "Because Alex Vause protected me from those sadistic bastards in front of me." The defense objected, the judge slammed the gavel and Piper just stared at them.

The judge called order and they proceeded. The prosecution thanked her for her testimony and the defense rose. He immediately attacked whether Piper had planned what to say with Alex.

Piper said again, "I did not see Alex.." she began to restate and he asked her if she spoke to her. Piper replied, " I did not receive a phone call from Alex Vause during her entire time at Litchfield and I did not visit her there after I was out." He asked her again to say if she had spoken to her. The prosecution objected and pointed out that prisoners are allowed to call out of the prison from an approved list of numbers nor are they allowed visitors. He stated that her call list was in evidence and Piper's number was not on it. The judge sustained in his favor and told the defense to carry on. He asked her if she shared friends with people that saw Alex. She said she did. He asked if they passed on messages for her and the prosecution objected again. It was heresay. The judge overruled.

"Well, yes I would ask they tell her I'm okay. But nothing about the drugs. I told no one because i didn't want them to say something that could be overheard in the visitation room. I didn't want Alex in more trouble. " He tried to shake her and Piper just answered. She was waining though. She watched his lips as he asked her a question and she didn't quiet get it. There was a quiet a lull that let her know she should be answering a question.

"I'm sorry. Could you repeat the question?" she asked. The judge looked down and then at the clock. She then called for an end of the session. She told Piper she had to return the next day and she'd still be under oath. The Defense surprised everyone when he said they had no further questions for her. The prosecution said they did not wish to redirect. Just like that, her testimony was over and the gavel came down.

Piper stood as the judge left and then she walked around the stand. The officers left and Dawson glared at her. Piper put her hand to her chest. She looked at him though as he walked by. Neither Mendez or Walsh looked her way as they walked out. The jury followed. No officer came for Alex. Piper just stopped walking and stood about five feet from her.

"Did you enjoy your Thai?" she said. Alex's eyes drank her in like water.

She answered, " yes I did, thank you. I looked all over for a heart." She grinned. Piper smiled back and shrugged.

"I had that delivered from the restaurant, the latte Polly picked up." She moved closer to her and looked towards the door where the officer was supposed to come through and get Alex. Alex leaned up and forwards more. "I ate lunch with Lorna. Turkey sandwich." Piper provided with a smile. Alex looked over and waved at Lorna. She had moved over to the railing close to where Alex sat. Alex said, "thank you" to Lorna and she shrugged it off, winking at her.

"I want to see you." She said. Alex looked up at her and smiled.

"Let's talk about it when the trial ends." She responded but she smiled as she said, "Congratulations. You're a free woman." Piper pressed herself close to the wall of the box where she sat. Alex closed her eyes slightly and looked immediately to her lips. Piper dropped her eyes too and bit her lip. The bailiff walked over. She was a tall woman with a neutral expression.

"Close enough. I'll see what is taking them so long, inmate." She said. Yet she didn't seem to walk fast back. She actually stopped to tie her shoe. Piper nodded and sighed.

"I guess I should get used to it..."No tonsil fucking in the visitation room" is a reality." She said. It was strange to her how she had more intimacy with Alex while she was in jail...all the things Piper could do now that she couldn't before all pale in comparison to one kiss. Alex nodded .

"You look fantastic. " she breathed out. "Um how did it go, oh " she leaned in closer and whispered, "I sho like yo titties." In that dress. Or out of it." She added.

Piper laughed and it filled the room. Alex beamed. She looked at Piper's hand and clucked her tongue at Piper's bandage. She was treated to seeing Piper blush. Alex looked at Piper only but they heard the door open. The officer came in and went to get Alex. He was carrying the shackles, they were running behind and he mumbled about Nichols taking too long in the john. Alex looked over and asked Piper to go on out of the room. She didn't stand up the first time he asked to her stand. Piper reached out and cupped her face with her left hand. The officer asked her not to touch the prisoner. Alex kissed the palm of her hand quickly before Piper dropped it. She shivered at the quick peck. Alex again asked her to leave before she was shackled.

Piper turned and started to walked out, she got to the gallery when she turned back and said, "Remember the tighten your wrist thing Boo said." She offered. Alex nodded and stood as he reached over and grabbed her arm. Piper walked straight on out without looking back.

**Another long one. I just couldn't stop without writing the last bit. ANGST Please review as always they so inspire me! Peace, FaeCym***


	58. Chapter 58 Keep Me High

Piper exited to try and see Alex. The hall was full and she didn't come out the door. Roger said they may have taken her out another door. Lorna hugged her and left to try and make her class. Piper rode with Larry back to her apartment and said goodbye to Roger and Polly. They were walking up to the door when she turned to him. "I'd like to be alone tonight. I'll call Polly so she doesn't worry. I just have a headache and I want to just rest."

"Come on Piper, no I know how you are, you'll tear the house apart and break your other hand. Come on I'll fix you a salad..." She refused to walk up the steps. He stopped at the door and looked back to where she stood halfway up her stoop.

"I really want to be alone Larry. Thank you." He clenched his fists. She just waited there for him to leave. He walked down to her and tried again, "Piper, really...I'm not asking for anything. I know where you stand, fuck, anyone that saw the way you looked at Alex knows where you stand." He couldn't keep the venom from his voice. "I thought it brilliant how you didn't lie. You just wrote letters back and forth. You risked everything again for her. " His voice cracked as he spoke.

Piper blinked surprised. Well, he wasn't an idiot and she should have known he knew. "I don't want to talk about it now Larry. I just want to go in to my apartment alone. Thanks again for your help." She turned dismissing him and walking up the steps to her front door.

"Why Piper? You could have been sent back. You think they didn't recognize your handwriting? She writes a good letter, I heard you reading last night." He was getting louder. Piper stopped at the door.

She turned looking down at him, " I'm sorry you heard that, I thought you were sleeping. Why you ask? Simple, I needed to know she was alright. I needed contact. I actually would hope sometimes that they'd figure it out and I'd go back, because I wanted her." Piper opened her door and walked inside. She shut it, locked it and slid down it placing her key beside her.

Piper sat there until her apartment became dark. She just looked at her palm. Her phone rang and she looked at it. She didn't recognize it and for one minute thought maybe Alex was calling her. She answered it and tried to cover her disappointment that it was Lorna.

"Hey Piper, I had to call. Your friend Polly gave me your number on a note during your testimony. You did great. Look, I got a call from Nicky's lawyer while I was in class. I took it and just walked out." She was talking fast. Piper stood up hearing the news and walked in to her living room. She turned on the lamp and sat on the couch.

"What's up?" Piper asked. It was the first time she had spoken in hours and she had to clear her voice. Lorna told her that while she was testifying her appeal was granted. Nicky was released into House arrest that afternoon.

Piper stood up and smiled for the first time since she had to walk away from Alex again. "That is fantastic! Where...I mean parole?" She wanted the details. Lorna told her with the ease of someone that had discussed such things.

"She is on house arrest and has to do a drug program for six months. She is in an apartment on the Upper East Side. I can only assume it is one of her mother's places." Piper wasn't in the least bit surprised to find out Nicky came from money.

"How long?" Piper asked.

"Six months. She has to complete the rehab and go to meetings but once her time is up, she is done. No restrictions. Since it is house arrest she can talk on the phone. I asked twice."Lorna said. Piper was happy for her, yet she doubled over and covered the phone to take a deep ragged breath. What she wouldn't give to know she'd be able to have Alex in six months.

"I'm happy for both of you. You can do six months..no problem." She continued and told Lorna she'd be fine tomorrow on the stand. She was very nervous and wished Nicky was going to be there. Piper told her to just look at her and it would be okay. She reminded her that she charmed a hardnosed woman like Red and lived to tell about it. Lorna laughed, they said goodbye and hung up.

She opened her laptop and checked her email. She was trying not to think about Alex and the length of her sentence but it wasn't working. She remembered her lips on her hand and felt her palm burn from the memory. Her cheek had been warm. She saw her phone was dying so she put it on the stereo to charge. She put it on random and listened to different songs. She went and changed in to her night clothes, not caring it was just 8PM. She went to the kitchen and chose a bottle of Merlot. It had been a gift from Roger and Chris so she figured it was a good Merlot. She opened it and pours a glass, then carried the bottle with her to the couch. She knew she couldn't read now so she pulled down her thick nap blanket and curled up on the couch.

She sipped her wine and found it to be amazing. She thought she could get used to that wine. She knew Alex would love it. She couldn't really cry. She had got to touch her, so on her second glass of wine, she toasted that fact. Adaline came on her iPod. _Keep Me High. _Piper reached over and used the small remote to set it to repeat. She thought about a show she'd watched the other night on Netflix. It was _Lost Girl_ and though she wasn't one to watch much Sci-fi Larry had watched it now and again. She was floored by the sex scenes between the lead succubus character and a sexy blonde doctor. Especially one that played this song and had one of them reaching up to clutch one of the posts of a four post bed. Piper had needs that weren't met and it left her frustrated. Piper put down her wine and ran her left hand down her body. She snuck her fingers in to her panties and closed her eyes letting memories flood her mind as her fingertips touched her sensitive flesh.

**Piper remembered Alex's bed in her old New York apartment. She had used it once as a pole as she teased and danced for Alex. Yet they had used those posts many times. She remembered one night when she had touched Alex while she was talking to some girls. She was recruiting mules but Piper was all over her. She wasn't jealous, just wanted Alex's attention. Alex pulled her out and took her back to her place. **

**She marched directly to the bedroom and Piper stood in the threshold. She was pissed and Alex turned, crossing her arms. **

**"You were very hands on Piper. I'm surprised, you usually aren't that rude in public." Alex started. Piper fumed. She walked up to Alex and put her hands on her hips. **

**"Well, I had to work tonight. My tips sucked and then you wanted to go out as soon as I got here. Did we make love first? Take a shower together maybe? No. We just went out. I am horny and I'm cute. So tell me Alex Vause, why shouldn't I just go get my needs met?" She squinted her eyes as she said it. " I bet I could get both of those girls you were chattin' up without even a tastey treat to get them high."**

**Alex was on her in a second. She pulled Piper's hands down and held them behind her back while she kissed her senseless. Piper growled and bit at Alex's bottom lip, sucking it in hard. Alex turned her around and pressed her against the bed post. She brought her hands up above her head and clenched them to the post until Piper herself realized she wanted her to hold it. **

**Alex pulled her lips away from Piper and pressed her forehead to hers. It was perhaps the first time she'd ever done that. She panted and said in her deep voice, "Don't let go or I'll stop." Piper actually whimpered then kissed Alex's neck and bit it sucking in and moaning on her flesh. Alex kissed down her body, pulling open her shirt and pushing up her bra until she could lick and tease her nipples. She pushed her shorts down and stuck her fingers in her panties. Piper started to reach down to hold on to Alex's shoulder or grab her head but she knew without a doubt that she'd stop if she dropped her hands down. Alex kissed and teased not really touching where Piper needed her to touch. She growled in frustration and hooked her thigh up over her shoulder and tried to pull her face to her sex with her leg. Alex dug her nails in to Piper's ass and used to control her. She hissed as they bit. Piper's nipples were aching to be touched but she could only squirm. **

**"Okay, I'm sorry..I ...wont do that again, it was childish..it was...needy...fuck, please Alex, please suck me, lick me..make me cum please." Piper was begging her in such sweet agony. Alex relented and deftly used her tongue to lap at her with skill that could remove honey from a butterfly wing. Piper screamed, scratched the top of the bedpost with her nails and came many times. **

Piper shuddered her release on her own fingers. She panted and pulled her hand out and let it drop, nearly knocking over her wine glass beside the couch. She ached for Alex so she nearly cried. Yet her body felt some relief. She closed her eyes and was dozing when she heard a knock at the door. She reluctantly rose from the couch and went to the bathroom to wash her hands. She opened the door to more knocking. It was a very drunk Larry. She tried to block him from entering the apartment but he pushed his way inside. She was feeling her own wine and really didn't want to deal with drama from her Ex.

"Look, I just want to hear you admit the reason you moved out, broke up with me and all of that is because you're a lesbian." He slurred. She could tell he tried to rehearse it. She looked outside to see if he was stupid enough to have driven. She saw a cab drive off and was happy for that at least.

"No. That isn't why I broke it off with you. I told you when we ended it. I didn't trust you anymore and I thought we both deserved to be with people we could trust completely. I cheated on you Larry. We both know that. I'm not a lesbian. I'm not straight. I'm Piper Chapman and I love a soul not a gender. Now, let me call you another cab." She went to where her iPod was playing and turned off the song. He picked up her merlot and started to swig it.

"Oh No, not that wine!" she said and she took it from him deftly. Larry asked to use the bathroom and she nodded. She called him a cab while he was out of the room. He stumbled back in and wanted to hug Piper. He said he missed her, that she was his best friend. She told him Pete was his best friend. He pointed out that is one thing that was always great about them, their best friends were married. Piper nodded and said they are married. She moved him to the door and opened it.

"Goodnight Larry. Please go home and sleep it off. " She pushed him out and shut the door. Piper went straight to bed after he left. She didn't sleep much but she tried to rest her body.

The Next day she brought coffee for Alex. She was disappointed to be told Alex was already in the waiting area. Her lawyer wasn't there so she couldn't even give her the coffee. It was bugging Piper. She hoped Alex got coffee with her breakfast. She looked to Alex and she looked well rested. She smiled at Piper once she sat down.

Once in the courtroom, the prosecution called Lorna up. She was very nervous and talked very low. She was asked about the time she and Kaputo caught Mendez raping a prisoner. Though the defense objected, the term was allowed. She explained she heard noises and asked the administrator to open the door. He did. She explained in detail what she saw. She told them he was suspended only. He asked her if he came back and she said he did. The defense didn't have much to say to Lorna. Next, they called Kaputo to the stand and he told how he reported the incident and was ordered by Figueroa to suspend him without pay for a month. He was asked if that was by the book and he said the man should have been fired and charged. He said she actually stated she didn't want the bad publicity. He stated that he personally witnessed Mendez feeling up Piper during a pat down but to him it looked like Alex tripped and fell in to Mendez. The defendants mumbled. Kaputo just looked innocent. Piper could tell he had law enforcement training. He was cross examined and was made to admit he knew officers felt up female prisoners. He kept badgering at him until he started to hurt the case. The prosecution objected but they were overruled a couple of times. Finally, he got down. The prosecution called Alex Vause back up to the stand.

"Miss Vause, when Officer Mendez was only suspended for the rape of a prisoner. How did that make you feel?" The defense objected and the judge overruled.

"It scared me. I felt Like no one cared and they could do what they wanted to us. They had caught him in the act and he got away with it."She answered simply. "It was a contributing factor to my going outside the prison to ask for help." He thanked her and asked that she be excused but reserved the right to call her back up for rebuttal. The prosecution rested their case.

The defense started and Piper was wondering if they officers would testify. She knew they did not have to and oftentimes were encouraged not to testify. The defense called up different officers from the prison. She hadn't noticed many of them because they sat behind her. Each officer sang the praises of the guards. They were asked about Alex, Piper and Nicky. They spoke about them as their crimes. They told about Alex and Piper being sent to the SHU. The prosecution accused them of leading the witness. After the second officer testified, they broke for lunch. Piper ordered Chinese for Alex. Again she ate a sandwich with Lorna but she shared some of it with Polly. Roger had to work and couldn't be there that day. It was Friday and Piper wasn't sure if she wanted Alex to stay in the New York holding cell.

When they returned from lunch, Alex made the tummy rubbing sign to Piper. She grinned back. The Prosecution and defense were talking. Piper found that odd. They went to the Judges bench and talked quietly. The judge asked them to go back.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. The defendants have entered a motion to change their plea to guilty. There was an offer on the table, Mr. Baker?" She asked the district attorney. Piper was stunned. So was Alex. They thought the trial would drag on further. She thought things were going well but she had no clue. Polly took her hand.

"We did your honor. We are also building a case against the gang that sold the drugs and prison administration. The offer still stands to reduce their time if they testify." The district attorney stated. She then understood better. She herself had faced a mandatory limit. They faced much more time with the multiple accounts of assault and drug distribution. She knew that it was probably Dawson that convinced them to go to trial and after a few days it was clear they would be convicted of something. They had failed to shake the detective or prove that Alex was testifying on her own behalf.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I thank you for your time but the state accepts their plea. You are dismissed and the defendants are remanded immediately in to custody with the possiblity of bail revoked. The defense started to protest but the judge told them to take it up on appeal. It did Piper good to see them all cuffed and removed from the courthouse. The courtroom was buzzing with people talking and it cleared fast. Piper wanted to walk over to Alex again. She went to the DA instead. "Sir, thank you. Um..is there anyway I could get time alone with Alex?" she tried really hard not to bed. He looked up and then over to her.

"We owe her. " he said simply. He called the baillif over it was the same one as yesterday. " Lori, They have to take the three former officers back in to custody. Tell the van to return for Miss Vause and walk her to my office and have Arnie stand guard in the room." She turned to do as he asked and had a smile on her face. Piper was grinning.

"It will not be private or for a long time. Don't pass her anything and she will have to submit to a strip search." He warned. She nodded and her heart started to race. She looked over and Alex looked confused as the bailiff walked her out of the room. The DA spoke to one of his paralegals and asked them to walk Miss Chapman to his office.

Piper told Polly she'd call her and left the room. Lorna had already left and thankfully Larry had not shown up. She couldn't really concentrate on more than the fact she was going to see Alex. She got to his office and was let in through a back door. Alex wasn't in there yet.

"She will be here soon. She probably had to wait on the elevator to be clear." She explained then she showed her to a seat. Piper sat but stared at the door to the front of the office and waited on her Alex.

*** Okay so I love Lost Girl and as dramatic as court is, it is so hard to write. I hope you enjoyed though. As always, please review if you want more! Peace, Faecym.***


	59. Chapter 59 Not the Desk

Piper was so nervous she couldn't keep her leg still. She was wearing a white button blouse and long black slacks. She made herself put her hands on the chair. She stood as soon as the door opened. Alex tentatively stepped inside and a police officer followed her inside. Piper started towards her but stopped and watched the chains removed. Alex rubbed her wrist and the man walked over and stood by the door, holding the shackles in his hand.

Alex opened her arms and Piper ran in to them. She wrapped herself around her, holding her close and pressing as much of her body to her as she could. Her orange suit was bulky but to Piper she was heaven. Alex turned her head and kissed her neck murmuring, "Hey Kid, damn you feel good." Piper nodded and turned her head into Alex's hair and nuzzled. Piper was afraid the guard would tell them to break apart so she clung. I think Alex expected it as well. Piper pulled back and looked at him. He stood looking bored staring at the bookshelf.

She kissed Alex, letting go of her waist Piper cradled Alex's face and kissed her lips with ardor. Alex moaned and pulled her close, her tongue demanding entrance. Alex turned and pushed Piper against the desk and started to lift her up. Piper pulled back and said, "No no...No...Baby, not the DA's desk. Just...Breathe...um maybe kissing is um yeah..." Piper hugged her again and Alex nodded slowly and looked back at the guard. She peeled herself back slowly and let go over Piper's ass. The guard was watching them. Alex walked Piper over to a small sofa and sat down close to her, holding her hands.

"I can't believe I'm touching you." Piper said in a whispered voice near her ear. Alex pulled her close.

"How is it that we are? What did you say to the District Attorney?" Alex asked as she looked at Piper up and down.

Piper thought for a moment and said, "I said I haven't touched you in a long time and please could you arrange for some time together. He said he owed you." Piper snapped up and looked at her. "Can't we use that? They plead guilty, it's over. Maybe you can..." Alex put her finger on her lips. She looked over at the guard and back.

"Did you hear what happened to Nicky? Was she sent back to Litchfield already?" Alex asked. Piper's heart flipped. She didn't know.

"No, um her appeal went through. She left here and went to another proceeding. She is out, house arrest for the remainder of her sentence, a drug program..." Piper said to her. Alex was stunned. She was happy, Piper could tell but the reality of it hit her. Nicky wasn't going to be waiting on her at Litchfield. She was alone. Piper hugged her closer.

"That is amazing. She will rock any program. She can do it this time." Alex said as if saying it made it happen. She looked at Piper, "Thank you for telling me. The holding cell sucks at the city jail and you never get to know any of the cops they just change all the time." Piper listened and nodded. Alex asked how long they had.

"I don't know he said not long...oh and you would be strip searched," Piper winced and Alex said she figured she'd have to be searched. "Guess you better get used to it because when you get back to Litchfield, I'm going on the list right? Then you'll get searched and I'll get patted down every single time I visit." Alex bit her bottom lip and Piper wanted to kiss her lips. She stared at them as she did that.

"Piper stop staring at my lips, I can't think and I need to think to talk." Alex said logically. "I will not be at Litchfield long and I...don't know if I want you to visit me there." Piper's whole body stiffened and she pulled back, giving Alex a "what the fuck" look that was unmistakable.

"Excuse me? I would go tomorrow but I know you have to do the paperwork. So if you aren't taken back there tonight, maybe tomorrow or worse case Monday, I think if you badger them enough I can be on to come Friday." She said with determination. "We have things to talk about. I have so much to tell you. I know it isn't a lot of time but you add my number. It is 323 555 3454. Remember that...I'm serious Alex." Piper was getting upset quickly as Alex didn't speak but held her closer.

"It is different there now Piper, but some remain that will give you a hard time if you visit." Alex said gently.

"Don't care and you're pissing me off with this protective thing," she said through gritted teeth. Alex put her forehead to hers and held her still.

"Look, I'm not..I just don't want anyone to ever feel you up again...and I'm sorry about not telling you things. I literally wasn't allowed at some points, couldn't at others. The SHU, was bad. We were saved by the district attorney's office. Kept sending lawyers out to talk to us in private..they fed us a bit better but still I got dehydrated. Nicky wasn't near me but we shouted to each other. She just walked out of there like..." Alex shook her head, she was scared to face prison without Nicky. It hurt Piper to know that and not be able to fix it.

"I understand more due to circumstances. I'm sorry that happened to you." Piper said looking at her in the eye. "But I am not a fragile person. I've worked really hard Alex and I can take it. We need time to talk, to clear the air."

"I agree. I don't know where I'll go my lawyer has requested someplace close so my aunt can visit but it is completely up to the BOP," she explained. "I would think the trial ending took them by surprise so the paperwork will need be filed and processed. Nicky and I guessed at least a week maybe more if they wait for a spot for me. We were in our own room so they were losing two beds. They put a door on the damn room. We are locked in at night." Alex explained. Piper's eyes widened. Alex shrugged.

Piper pictured Alex in that room alone and she kissed her chin. "You can do it." She whispered to her.

"Yeah I got to, no choice. I wish I could just stay there because I know everyone. It isn't an option though, they are right. "She swallowed and looked down. Some of her shell was cracking and Alex showed how scared she really felt.

"Let's just see where you end up," Piper began. The door opened and two other officers walked in to the room. They looked pissed to see she was just sitting on the couch holding a woman. Piper clung to her and said, "No not yet..no that wasn't enough time." A big older man said, " She has to be searched downstairs then the last transport is going out to the jail. Come on Vause," as he was walking towards them. Alex stood up and Piper rose with her. They kissed again and she was pulled over to stand for her cuffs. Piper tried to go with her but he held out his hand.

"I'll mail you something it will be there for you by Monday. Add me." She insisted. Alex stood to be shackled, her back to Piper. She turned and looked at the floor because she knew Alex didn't want her to look at her wrists and ankles.

"I heart you, Kid." She said as they pulled her out. Piper returned the sentiment before the door closed. She stood there for a good long moment staring at the door. It was ridiculous how much longing one person can feel. She touched her lips and then the door opened. The District Attorney walked in and seemed surprised to see her.

"Thank you for your help Miss Chapman, I hope you got some time with Miss Vause." He said politely.

Piper stood up and smiled at him her best smile. "I did and I'd like to thank you. I'd also like to know if you meant what you said about owing Alex? "He put his briefcase on his desk and motioned for her to sit as he had a few minutes. Piper wasted no time getting to the point and pressing for help.

She left his office a short while later hoping she had done some good. She took a cab straight home and ignored her three messages from Polly. She went in to her place and to her bedroom. Piper took out all of the old letter-journals she wrote to Alex while in Litchfield. At the end of them, she added in her new stationary a new note that read;

_Dear Alex,_

_I would write these at night when a nightmare would wake me or I couldn't sleep. I never expected you to read them. I want you to know that leaving you was the hardest thing I've ever done and I ask you again, please put me on your list. I will be there Friday, on time for visitation. Please add my number and call. _

_Love,_

_Piper_

She folded them all up and put them in a bigger envelope. She sealed it and wrote Alex's name, prison number and Litchfield's address. She put her own name on the side with a smile. She would have her address. Piper hurried to the Post Office and paid extra to overnight it to Litchfield. She wanted it to be there for her first mail call. She hoped it worked. When she walked out of the post office it had started to rain. She turned up her jacket and looked up at the sky. Now all she could do was wait to hear from Alex.

She called Polly and told her about her talk. She gushed and felt like she was a freshman again. She called Roger and they talked about practical things but he did ask if she was floating in the air. He told her he hoped to see Alex this weekend and that he had a packaged messaged over to her. It was her book and he had thought now would be a good time for her to check out what he suggested. She thanked him but didn't know how to feel about that now. She was still in shock over seeing and touching Alex.

She made it home, picked up a package off her step and came inside. She was so tired and emotionally drained. She was trying not to think of Alex having to stay in the Lock up until Monday. She hoped at least she would be returned to Litchfield. Piper walked by her office and moved to tidy up where she had made a mess in her haste to make the Post Office. She opened the envelope. Roger had made notes on little stickies. Most of them were very positive but with suggestions. More importantly he had the number of three different publishers that would make an offer to her agent based on that draft. Piper was floored. He was pretty much saying she should do it. She read through his notes more and before long her eyes started to droop. She pulled her butt out of her seat and collapsed on the bed. She pulled the pillow beside her down and clutched it to herself. She fell to sleep curled in a ball on her bed.

**Yay! I don't know what to think about the Laura Prepon not on as a regular next season rumor. I know Jenji is the Goddess of that show so I'll believe it when she puts out a statement. I hope you enjoyed their short cuddle. As always, I apologize for typos and what not. My fingers do not keep up with my brain and my editing doesn't exist. Please Review! Fae***


	60. Chapter 60 Limbo

She occupied herself with work all weekend. Friends visited and she was polite. She seemed frozen waiting. She felt like she dreamed the entire thing. Piper had been neglecting work on leave so she delved in to projects, statements and a massive phone log. She just switched to business mode and worked for hours. It was Sunday when she realized she needed to sleep.

She went to see Dr. Speer at the beginning of the week. She told her about the trial, seeing Alex, step by step; words said...actions taken, like she was describing a scene in a movie. She waited on Piper to continue but she just couldn't speak. She was waiting.

"So you are in limbo again and worried about something you can do not one thing about. Let's discuss plans, you are a planner Piper, what have you been thinking?" she asked as she looked at Piper with such kindness.

Piper started explaining all the facilities near New York. She worried Alex would be sent far away and she had already thought through a possible short term move to be close to her. Yet she could only think these things because she needed to know Alex wanted that. She wasn't on the inside with her anymore. Alex was alone.

"I want a future with her and I'm so very worried about her because she is alone. Nicky was her rock. Nicky and her family at Litchfield. Because of me, she had to lose her home and I am so pissed off that I want to rip something apart with my bare hands." Piper said in silent cold fury. Her doctor got up and came around to Piper. She reached out and took her shaking hands and knelt beside her. Piper was scared for a moment. She could see Tiffany in the snow and the sweet release of all of that rage. She could see Henton's face on the stairwell and he grabbed his crotch. Piper took a ragged breath as other images flashed in her mind, Healy's smirk, Mendez's hands the first time he felt her up, Dawson's sick breath on her neck as he taunted Alex... Piper blinked and looked at Dr. Speer's kind face.

"She doesn't want me to go back there. I can see it in her body, her mind is set. I made a last ditch effort to show her how deeply I love her. I sent her my journals." Piper said and the doctor seemed surprised. "I asked her to add me as well and I told her I'd be there Friday. I'm renting a car, I have it all arranged." She spoke calm enough that her heart stopped racing and she felt her mind focus. Talking details is a good strategy that helped Piper calm her racing mind. She blushed because Dr. Speer had never really seen her that upset. Upon seeing the change in her, the doctor rose and went back to her seat.

"You are hoping for a phone call before that time?" she probed. Piper nodded. Prison communication was really one way via phone. She had a set schedule before with Alex. It was so little yet, she had come to rely on that touching base. "Well, you can play some 'what ifs' but I'm sure you have already thought about it. You have a plan Piper, you are going there. I worry about you returning to Litchfield myself. Yet you have already stood before your abusers. The place holds no power over you anymore. However, I imagine very few prisoners crave returning to their prison," was her gentle observation.

Piper looked up at her and said simply, "They do if they left someone they love there."

She worked late each day and came home to notes on her book. She wrote different prisoners asking for a call. She had featured people and she wanted them to know she was protecting them. It was time to get real about it. Roger called her on Wednesday and asked if she got a call. Piper said no. He was quiet. "That is just strange. I would have thought one of us would have gotten one. Maybe she lost her phones? Surely, she wouldn't have done anything to get in trouble?" Roger speculated.

Piper didn't know. She said the rules are enforced differently by each staff person and Alex had been out of the loop. She didn't tell him about the special door they added to the R&D room. She invited him to dinner that night. She was going to makes teriyaki salmon. She decided to feed Polly, Pete and Finn as well so the more the merrier. She just didn't want to be alone waiting on a phone call. Her phone was never more than a foot from her person. She recharged it if it fell to half charged. It was obsessive and compulsive. Again she felt a pang of regret for putting Larry through this agony and wished they were in a place where she could call him. She shook her head and called that what it was...she felt scared Alex didn't love her so she reached for Larry. Ah baby, he was always the binky, she thought.

She got off work an half an hour early and went to the local whole foods. It was an easy recipe really with portabello mushrooms. She got home right as Polly arrived. She helped her in with the groceries. Piper was disappointed to see Finn was with Pete. He was balm to her heart always.

"Yes I got to go to the spa today and Pete was stay home daddy...which meant he didn't stay home but took my son all around town today scouting studio space." She went on complaining about the loves in her life and Piper listened. She enjoyed the trials and tribulations of Polly Harper. They ground her. She wondered what it would be like to just worry that Alex was working too much or goofed off all day rather than take out the trash. They had never really done things like that. Alex paid for Piper to play. Alex played with Piper when she wasn't working. They made love almost each day some days at the end, that was all the communicating they did the entire day.

She was standing in front of the chopping board and was staring at the wood. Polly was saying her name and Piper looked up and blinked. "Oh...I'm sorry Polly I got distracted. What were you saying?" she tried to cover and started slicing the vegetables for the salad.

Polly looked at her and walked around taking the knife from her hand. "I'll do this, you season the salmon," she said as she started cutting. Piper nodded and went to the refrigerator.

"Oh I invited Roger and Chris. He called today, it seems she hasn't called him either. So maybe it is a privilege revoked thing." Piper said causally.

"So are we still driving up to see her?" Polly asked and Piper could tell it was something she was determined to do. Piper put the salmon steaks on the prep board and added the two new ones.

"I'm going alone Polly. I told you." Piper didn't look at her as she spoke, she didn't want to see that look. She cut more vegetables and didn't say anything for awhile.

"Well that is just the stupidest thing you've said in well, forever. How much do you know about visiting Litchfield? I know the shortest routes, where to park and how to be charming to get in fast. I don't have to go in to see her with you, but I am going." Polly spoke as if that was the end of the discussion. Piper sprinkled the herbs on to the salmon steaks. She used the pepper grinder to finish then looked at Polly, who had moved on to a new veggie. She stopped her hand and made her turn to her.

"No. I am going alone. I need to do this and I am going to do it. I've talked about it with Dr. Speer. I can only hope Alex calls before then but I'm going either way. I'm a freewoman and I go where I please," she leaned in and kissed Polly softly on the cheek, "you are amazing and I'm very lucky to have you."

Polly squinted at her and set her jaw to argue more, but the doorbell rang. Piper figured it was Roger because Pete never knocked. She walked over to answer the door and her eyes landed on the hole in the wall. Perhaps she'd do Larry's idea and put a frame around it. Sure enough it was Roger and Chris and like good guests they both brought a bottle of wine. Piper kissed each on the cheek and invited them inside. One of the wines was that delicious Merlot, the other Valley of the Moon and it was to go with the Salmon. She knew Polly wasn't done arguing that she was going with Piper. But Piper switched to hostess mode and focused on her guests and turned off her worry. They started talking and she finished prep for the dinner by grating ginger and orange zest for the sugar snap peas.

Roger's phone rang and Piper nearly dropped a glass of wine she had just poured for Polly. He apologized and took the call. It was a work call and he stepped out on the stoop to speak. She closed her eyes and looked over to Chris. Polly reached out to take her wine from Piper and sipped it. Chris just gave her a kind smile and she shrugged. They all knew she waited. Piper checked her phone was charged on the counter and started to cook the mushrooms and mix her sauce. Pete came in with Roger and Finn was wrapped around Rogers's leg, riding it. He was making horse noises and Piper couldn't help but laugh. She had never seen Roger around kids but he was a natural. She closed her eyes a moment and then opened them drinking in the detail. She turned back and cooked her mushrooms. Finn quickly started to say " Pi Pi Pi" and Piper grinned saying hi to her favorite boy. Pete went right to putting Finn in the high chair her carried in with the two other bags. Polly was on Finn and had him up, placed and bibbed in record time. Seeing her friend so domestic was a huge thrill for Piper. Roger came sniffing by the stove, being nosey as he poured his wine. Piper talked him through the recipe, showing him the dreaded light brown sugar that made it sooo yummy.

"I will love it. It reminds me of all the fish you ate in Indonesia, no matter how many times I warned you about bacteria..." he ventured. Piper laughed and nodded remembering Java.

"You must try things Roger, even if your intestines will pay. I got smarter about it as I went along. Alex just bought me whatever I wanted and watched me try it with utter glee. "Piper laughed remembering.

"She loved giving you what you wanted. I'd never seen her that happy. "He sighed some and she could tell he was as worried as she. Piper took out the mushrooms with a slotted spoon and added the salmon to the pain with a bit more olive oil. As they cooked she started the peas to steam and turned leaning against the counter.

Piper nodded and said, "We could be happy again. I won't leave her this time I swear." She said it to him as if she pleaded to him Alex would understand. He put his wine down and gave her the biggest hug.

"I know and I want that happiness for the both of you," he said. Piper pulled away and kept on cooking. It felt nice to have his blessing. She wondered if Alex knew how much he wanted them to work. She never really asked Roger what they talked about. He said she would ask how Piper was doing. It made her think of a question.

"Roger, when you told Alex about me and Larry...was she happy?" Piper asked him in a low tone and he looked over at her.

"I never mentioned it. She asked me about your health, what you wore, if you were safe, eating...but not happy. I was thinking that myself this week. Don't worry though she has to know how you feel after that trial. You've never hinted or said you live alone in your letters or?" he prompted.

Piper frowned, had she? She didn't know but it would be the first thing she said to her. "Hello, I love you and I am no longer with Larry." She served dinner and played with Finn while everyone ate. She took three bites and was done. Pete and Chris cleaned up while Piper put Finn down to sleep in her room. She watched him sleep as he held on to her hair with his fist. His sweet angelic face was open and so carefree.

"You sleep for the both of us, darling boy." She whispered even as her eyes drooped. Polly came in awhile later and untangled Piper's hair from his fist. She left them to go tell her worried friends the good news of her slumber.

On Friday, Piper rose early, ate a bagel, made her coffee and set out to drive to Litchfield. She had parked the car at her office building overnight. She half expected to see Polly sitting on the rental. She did get a phone call as Piper got in the car.

"Hello." Piper answered.

"Where are you? I'm in your living room, coffee pot is off and no rental car outside. Piper...where are you?" Polly said in a highly agitated voice.

Piper laughed starting the car, "I'm already on my way. Thanks for coming over, you know I hate to drive and talk. I'll speak to you later, love you!" She hung up and turned her phone to vibrate. It was a nice drive out of the city and towards Litchfield. She knew the way there. She had looked at maps before she went and helped Larry plan his route. She would imagine him driving there some days while she waited to see him. Her mind was evil to her at this moment. She feared getting there and discovering Alex was in the SHU. She was afraid they would call the parole board and detain her until someone came to explain she was free. Piper had brought her paperwork just in case. It was irrational she knew but she couldn't help it.

These fears rose up in her mind as she drove but she quietened them all with just imagining Alex's face as she realized Nicky was gone. Piper had to be there for her, she had to let her know that she may be in there doing her time alone but someone outside was waiting. Piper approached the gate and drove up the hill. She saw cars parked already and chose the same spot where Larry parked to pick her up. Almost a year and a half had passed since that day.

Piper left her phone and took her purse only with her inside. She was dressed in simple jeans and a bright blue shirt. Her hair was in a side pony. As she approached the gate she looked up at the window. There she saw Poussey and she stopped to wave. She didn't look up again but walked in to the visitation room. She knew that the entire prison would know she was there. As she said before, Twitter has nothing on Prison.

She walked into the outer room and saw a woman she didn't recognize with the clipboard in the window. She was checking off a father and son. She told them it would be ten minutes until time and to please take a seat. Piper approached the desk and smiled politely to her.

"Hi, I'm Piper Chapman and I'm here to see Alex Vause." She said in a clear voice. She woman glanced down at the list and flipped it. She then looked down the other sheet.

She turned her head to speak behind her, "Hey Fischer is this the latest list?" Piper looked behind her and saw Officer Fischer rise and walk up to the window. She didn't speak to her but waited on her to look up. It felt very strange to wait.

"You see here, the date it was printed? It is today's list. What is the name, maybe it was spelling?" she asked not looking up at Piper.

Piper cleared her throat and spelled out, " N." Fischer's head shot up and she looked Piper dead in the face.

"Hello Officer Fischer." Piper said with a smile.

Fischer turned to the officer and said, "I have this. Please see if they need help in strip search." The officer nodded and walked out. Piper was impressed to see her command. She put the list down and looked up at Piper as if she was bracing herself.

"Please, call me Susan," she began. Piper nodded but didn't like the look on her face.

"I'm off probation. The new mandatory laws applied to my case..anyway I asked Alex to put me on her list, could you check, it would have been just done... a day or two ago," she rambled.

"Chapman, uh Piper, I don't need to look at the list," she looked up at Piper, meeting her eyes with such sadness she continued, "The person you want to see isn't here anymore. Piper, Alex was transferred to another Federal Facility first thing this past Monday morning. "

**Thank you for your kind reviews. No matter what stories are told on OITNB next season I hope my imaginings bring y'all some pleasure. Please keep on reviewing, Peace, Faecym


	61. Chapter 61 The Loneliest Moment

"The loneliest moment in someone's life is when they are watching their world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly." Fitzgerald, _The Great Gatsby_

Piper stared at Susan and said with complete disbelief, "I beg your pardon? I don't understand." She looked down at the list and back up at her.

"She arrived back here late Friday. The DA pushed a transport back and she pretty much went straight to bed. She went to breakfast Saturday, spent time in her room and that evening asked to see the Warden. She returned and stayed in her room all Sunday. The transport came at 8 on Monday and she was taken away. " Fischer was very detailed, more than she had to be and Piper was thankful. It didn't make any sense unless she just couldn't take being there alone and asked to be moved.

Piper asked, "Where is she?" She braced herself to beg, Susan shook her head sadly. "No one said and if I did know I couldn't tell you. But I'll tell you that I don't know and it was all, " she leaned closer and said "Hush Hush." Piper felt panic rise up in her throat.

"I don't care, find out. Get on the system, put in her number and find her God Dammit. Find her! You work so hard to make us nothing but a fucking number, use your keyboard, put it in and find where my..." Piper drew a shallow breath and leaned in so her head was close to Susan, she took a step back out of Piper's reach.

"My Alex. Please Fischer, just find out where she is, you know how I know you do." Piper knew she was begging .

Fischer shook her head and said again, "I tried Piper. She has been hidden in the system, which makes sense considering her status as a snitch." Piper dropped her arms and turned. She walked to the door and hit the handles hard as she blew through it. She doubled over and gasped for breath. Piper stood there and watched people walk in to the building. Some she recognized from her time there, most new faces. She watched them all go inside and then she walked back to her car. She just sat inside of it and stared out the window through the chain link.

Alex was gone and she had no idea where. Piper couldn't get her mind to work and figure what to do..what is next. She tried to think of what Fischer had said. Alex asked to see the warden then hid in her cell. She was afraid, perhaps? But why not call Roger or...Roger. Piper picked up her phone and found his number in her recents. He picked up on the third ring.

"Piper? Did you get to see her?" he asked. She felt her hope crumble.

"No, she isn't here. She is gone, Roger. She was moved Monday. She could be anywhere, they ..won't tell me anything. Maybe you could call?" Piper tried. She hoped he was authorized to be told something. He said he'd call her back. She waited in the car, just staring ahead. Finally, the phone rang and she picked it up.

He got to the point. "They will not tell me. I called her Aunt and she said she doesn't know where Alex is either. She thought she was still at Litchfield." Roger's voice was grim.

"Thank you Roger. I'll talk to you later." Piper said and hung up. She turned her phone off, rolled down her window and just sat there. People came and went until the time for visitation passed and she was the only car left in the visitor area. Fischer walked up to her window, she was out of uniform and was carrying it hung over her arm.

"Piper, have you been here since you left?" she asked gently. Piper looked up at her and then back at the dash of her car.

"Yes. I don't know where she is so I don't know where to go," she said simply. Susan opened her door and helped Piper up. Then she moved her over to the other side and went around to the driver's side. Piper looked over at her and Susan leaned over and brought the belt across her, buckling her in to the seat.

"There is a bar about five miles from here. I'll call my boyfriend and he'll pick me up there. " She said as she backed out of the parking lot. Piper looked over at her and blinked.

She pulled up to the bar and there were only a few cars in the parking lot. Piper got out of the car and followed her inside. She went to a table and motioned for Piper to sit down. She went to the bar and brought a bottle of water. "Here Piper, drink this please."

Piper opened it and drank down half the bottle. Piper wanted something stronger than water. Fischer opened her purse and pulled out a photograph. She pushed it across the table and Piper looked at a picture of Alex. She was standing in her uniform against the white wall of the visitation room. She was smiling though and seemed happy.

"Nichols paid to have a picture of Alex made right before they went to New York. I sent her one and made a copy, in case you came. " She spoke with a tone so sad Piper was moved. She looked down at the picture, picked it up and put it in her purse quickly.

"Thank you. " she said. The picture was amazing but what she needed was to know Alex was alright. " Please Susan, did do you maybe look again? Ask someone, maybe I can see the warden and ask her. I.."

Susan shook her head and said,"I can't find out Piper. Looking for her could cost me my job. I can say she wasn't shackled like she was going on ConAir. All you can do is hope she contacts you. "

Piper laughed and couldn't stop. Waiting on Alex to contact her was all she had done for over a year. Finally she was free to visit her and what does she do? She gets her ass transferred and says nothing. Fischer ordered a beer and some fries. Piper just laughed and wiped her eyes.

"Do I need to call someone for you Piper? Are you in New York City still? Um, should I call Larry?" she asked. This made Piper laugh harder. The few other patrons in the bar looked over at her with interest. Fischer just looked at her with that nonplussed look of a guard. She had grown up, Piper thought. She stopped laughing and opened her bottle, drinking the other half.

"No I will drive myself back to Brooklyn. Thanks for the picture and the water, Susan." She rose and left. Piper took a moment to get her bearings and she drove back to the City. As she drove she thought about Alex someplace new. She thought of four long years of never knowing she is safe. She crossed in to Brooklyn and said into the silence of the car, "This time you left me, Alex. I guess we're even now."

Piper drove straight to Cal. She told him that she was gone. He sat beside her all night. Piper watched the fire until he pulled her up and he put her to bed in the bunk in back. She slept for ten hours straight and woke very stiff. He made her something to eat and Neri brought coffee from the gas station. Piper felt better after eating. She talked to Cal while she ate. They talked about what she was going to do. Piper surprised him by having an idea. She wanted to write her book and she needed a change of scenery. It was Cal that told her she could move in to their Grandmother's home. It was an older home with a long drive. Very private home in an affluent area outside of Hartford. Piper would spend her summers there with her grandmother often as a child. She and Cal inherited the home. They had no idea what they wanted to do with it. Piper had thought always that Cal would leave the woods and join civilization again, perhaps living there. He pointed out that someone needed to occupy it and perhaps see about renting it out for income. Until then, Piper could write her book in peace. It seemed like a plan.

Piper returned home Sunday and found many messages from Polly. She did text her Saturday and tell her she was fine. She turned her phone off afterwards. She wasn't sure how she was going to take the news of Piper' s move but she hoped she'd be happy for her. Piper didn't know how long she'd be staying there, she just knew she needed a change of pace. Her boss was understanding and they worked out a schedule where Piper could consult from home. It was a cut in pay but it left her position open for her. They were very supportive about the book.

Her mother wasn't surprised by the decision. She was happy Piper was going to look after the house. She promised to come help her with the apartment over the garage. Her father was relieved not to have to visit to oversee the house. Piper's mom did ask, "Did something happen with Alex Piper? " Piper told her that Alex had been moved and she didn't know where. She said she was going on with her life and that she was going to write a book. She told her mother all about it and asked her to think about it, then call Piper to talk. She wanted everyone in her life to come to terms with the lack of privacy this book would mean.

It was her main goal now. It was her something to live for now that Alex had withdrawn herself from her life. Piper was thankful to Alex for saving her life so she decided the best way to pay her was to do as she learned in prison. Pay it Forward.

She met with Roger at their restaurant. They hugged and she ordered a cup of coffee but not food. He crossed his legs and looked at her. "What is it you want to tell me Piper?" He said knowingly.

"I want you to know that if you know where she is and can't tell me that I understand. I'm going to make it easy on you though. I just want to say I'll be writing my book. I spoke with my Agent and I will have a deal by the end of the month. I'll be moving out of the City to work on the book. I beg you, that if anything happens and you need me, she needs me you can find me through my agent." She said this with a quiet reserve. She thanked the waiter and sipped her coffee.

"I've not heard a word from her. If I do, what you do want me to tell her?" He asked.

Piper shook her head. "I'm done with that game. Tell her whatever you wish, tell her nothing...just if she is hurt or something of that kind, let me know, otherwise," Piper gave a cold shrug. She looked at him with cold guarded eyes. "I'm going to concentrate on writing my truth and maybe helping some people along the way." He nodded and raised his tea in salute. After Roger she went in to Dr. Speer's office and thanked her so much for all of her help. She told her she was moving away from New York and wouldn't be needing her services any long. She was stunned but supportive.

"Please contact me if you'd like to resume Piper and I wish you the very best in all you do." She had said before showing Piper out. It had felt nice saying she could handle things from now on. She knew she could. She was utterly alone for the first time in years. It was time to get back to basics, to get back to Piper.

Piper moved out of the City on a Tuesday afternoon. She had everything packed up in a rental van. There were two cars at the house, a garden truck and her grandmother's old cadilac. Piper had spoken to Owen, the gardener about helping her get the van back. She was looking forward to the cold winter because she could lock the doors and build up the fire. She could settle in and write. Piper knew she could go there and hide.

**Yes, I know I'm a meany ;) You and your reviews make my day. You inspire me! Please review: FaeCym


	62. Chapter 62 Shoved Off

**_"Losing your way on a journey is unfortunate. But, losing your reason for the journey is a fate more cruel."_****H.G. Wells**

Piper settled in to the house with limited trouble. Owen, the gardener, was a big help. He'd been taking care of her grandmother's roses for twenty years. He remembered him always being outside and that Cal had to help him mow when they stayed with Grandmother. She was surprised to learn he had a record.

"Yes, your grandmother hired me when I came knocking asking for work. She said she wanted to start a rose garden and asked if I'd be willing to learn with her. I told her I was just out of prison for robbery. She asked if I hurt anyone and I said, just myself. She never spoke of it again and hired me on the spot." He talked of her with real fondness and it made Piper's chest ache for her.

"I've been out for a little over a year now. Non-violent drug charge..."she began. He held up his hand.

"Your grandmother told me. I'm glad to see you are free now. You are going to write a book? Is it about your grandmother?" he asked politely. Piper told him what it was about and he nodded listening. "I'm sure it will be good, she always said you could do anything you put your mind to do. Your brother she worried about because she said he was more sensitive than he let people know. She has one of his pieces in the garden, have you seen?" Piper hadn't and she walked out to see the sculpture her grandmother had insisted on buying from Cal. It was metal, bronze perhaps, with figures that resembled a family all gathered close. She looked at it for a long time.

"Thank you, Mr. Nyb-" she began and he interrupted her insisting she just call him "Owen". Piper thanked him again and then spoke to him about how much to pay for his services. She knew that he lived down the road about two miles and used the truck. Piper made sure everything was as it needed to be so he could still work. He was nearing retirement he said and her grandmother had helped him invest. He didn't want Piper to feel like she had to keep him on there. However, she wasn't ready to rent the house out and wanted him to feel free to work as long as he liked. He told her his nephew, Steve, would be helping out and perhaps he'd train him how to continue. Piper was happy with that as long as he was happy.

She started working on the downstairs and boxed up items that she thought her father might want. She staged the boxes in the garage. The kitchen was massive and Piper wondered how much her Grandmother entertained when her grandfather was building his business. He was an importer of hats or parts to make hats. He made his fortune in that area and the stock market. Her father had disappointed him going in to Academia rather than high powered stock exchange. Yet, she knew her grandmother couldn't have been more proud. Piper had a vague memory of the man as he died when she was seven.

It took her better part of a week to move in to her Grandmother's old room. She changed the mattresses and bed frame. She just couldn't sleep in a four post bed. She dreamed of Alex each night and spent at least an hour crying each morning. No one was around to get her up from the bed. No one was there to comfort her. So, Piper got herself up and shook off her despair. She kept her phone charged though and it was always near her. She hated herself for still hoping that Alex would call. She had said her number to her fast but she knew Alex retained it. Alex could remember any number said to her. She would be furious with herself for waiting on the call and purposely leave her phone upstairs while she worked on boxing up items in the downstairs den. An hour would pass and she'd run upstairs again, unable to stand wondering if there was a call.

"I'm a fucking weak ass mess." She said after fetching her phone. Polly came to visit with Finn after she'd been there two weeks. She brought Piper a stack of mail that had been left at her apartment before the post office started to forward it. She put in her office to get to later. Piper enjoyed setting up a room for her. Her Grandmother's house had seven bedrooms, though one was an upstairs office. The master bedroom was downstairs and had a door that opened to a private patio off the rose garden. It was deep in the fall but still other flowers bloomed and filled the area with sweet fragrance.

"I forgot how beautiful this place is...are you and Cal going to sell it?" Polly asked as she held Finn to her. He had finally fallen to sleep. He'd been cranky the whole ride wanting to see his "Pi Pi". Once he got there, she chased him about the yard playing until he crashed in his mother's lap.

"We haven't decided. Right now it is a great place to escape and write. My agent is visiting tomorrow with the publishing contract. It looks like, if I make my deadline, my book will be on the shelves by May." Piper shared. Polly was the first person she called. Polly was so excited for her.

"So have you met your editor yet?" she asked, switching the heavy toddler to her other arm.

Piper nodded, "We talked on the phone this morning. We will do most of it online but I'll visit her office in a month or two. She mentioned coming out here even to visit." Polly listened as she spoke about what she had to do next, her first notes. It would involve delving in to her past with Alex and writing her emotions as she did her crime. She thought about Alex all the time, but thinking about her with a purpose other than missing her or wanting her was new.

"I know you haven't heard from her...I haven't either. I miss her. She may just not be able.." Piper held up her hand.

"She promised me she'd write me as long as she was at Litchfield. It occurred to me yesterday that she kept her promise. If I don't," Piper paused and took a breath, "accept that she would be talking to me if she wanted to talk to me, I'll go crazy with worry. I'll convince myself she is dead or dying. I'll become a useless shell of a person filled with nothing but grief. I'm trying to survive here Polly; I'm fighting for my life as much now as I did with that crazy ass meth head."

Polly reached across and took her hand. "Are you sleeping?" she asked. Piper nodded and didn't elaborate that it wasn't a good sleep. She still had her meds from Dr. Speer but she had not used them yet.

"I write better at night. One of the joys of not having to work on a schedule right now is I can stay up late and sleep in, but tomorrow we can be up early for our hike." She said with wide excited eyes. Polly moaned. Her best friend was such a city girl. Piper couldn't wait to get Finn out in the woods with nature.

Piper enjoyed their stay but as soon as they were gone, she sat down at her grandmother's desk in the library and started to write. She did first one draft, then checked it carefully. She sent her first draft to her editor. It was that day in Brussels when she thought she was caught. She mentioned how Alex casually said it was a good thing she didn't leave or she'd been killed. That moment was when Piper knew she had to leave her. Yet, she didn't. Alex had taken her to the hotel and fucked her so intensely that now Piper can see the danger had been an aphrodisiac to her. She had wanted Piper to have the same reaction but what she had needed was to cling to Alex. She didn't write about the fight they had or how Alex had promised she'd never do it again. She didn't write about the next time she asked Piper to carry a bag or her mom's death. She just made it sound like she tried for a little while longer and left. She was trying to be careful and protect Alex. She did however decide to call her "Nora". It was petty but oh well, Piper was a petty, shallow woman at times.

She would get her pages back within 48 hours of sending them, which was amazing to Piper. The notes were good and she'd make the corrections, then go on to the next part. She made a point to make herself eat something every six hours. It wasn't much but she kept fresh fruit in the house. She set up grocery delivery to keep from having to go out to town too much. Piper felt ridiculous driving her old Caddy about. Her grandmother had a driver always. It surprised Piper when her dad told her that his mother didn't have her driver's license.

"She never needed it, she said. I tried to teach her but she didn't want to drive. I guess you didn't notice because Henry always drove her around." He had told Piper on the phone one afternoon when he called to check on her. She remembered Henry. He had moved to Florida with his daughter after her grandmother died, but had stayed the family butler until then. Piper always thought he fancied her grandmother but she didn't bring that up to her dad. He asked her how she was doing and if she was in contact with Alex. Piper told him she was fine and no. He didn't say anything else about it. He just started to talk about where she should send the things for him.

Cal and Neri visited right after Polly left. They worked all weekend to clean out Henry's apartment over the garage. He was a tidy man and there wasn't much to clean. Cal decided he'd stay in that apartment.

"The house is plenty big enough Cal, you guys can have the big suite upstairs.." Piper started to explain. He said he didn't want to sleep in the house without her there. Piper nodded at his words and gave him a hug. He had said maybe later. Neri snapped a picture of them, as they hugged. The light was streaming in from the window and lit them up like brilliant Fall leaves. Piper had her send her a copy and she framed it for her desk.

Piper and Cal discussed the house accounts. He gave it all over for Piper to handle, "You seem to be doing okay here, Shawshank. I thought you'd be travelling around to each prison trying to find her. I'm glad you've found some peace and decided to get off the crazy-lesbian-drug-dealer ride." Piper sipped her bourbon.

"I didn't decide anything Cal, she shoved me off. The more I think about it, the more I feel this was Alex's way to call it all off. She decided she'd be the one that left this time. Maybe she never really forgave me for her mom. She protected me because she felt an obligation. Being with me was part of her "making amends" in NA. She fixed the mess she made and left me behind. It hurts. Yet I can't be mad at her, she is the reason I'm free. I just...Wish I could share my life with her, even if it is for a couple of hours a week," Piper admitted to him. He listened carefully and then pulled out a joint and lit it up. He offered her some and she declined, though it was nice to smell it.

"I think she loves you Pipes. No one does what she did for you without love. Maybe, she didn't want you to spend your life living for a visitation day?"He said this gently between tokes.

"Maybe. It is all speculation. I don't know why she isn't speaking to me. I don't know where she is or if she is alright. That's cruel, Cal. She isn't showing me love, she is being cruel." Piper replied to him in a low voice that was almost impossible to hear. He nodded and continued to enjoy his joint on the veranda.

**Yes I know, Alex isn't in this part. :( Two months has passed at this point and Piper is head first in to writing her book. Thank you for sticking with me. I travel out of town this weekend and start work on Monday. I do have an ending in mind and it is 4 to 5..or so chapters away. I will try to post something most days and you will see where my story goes. Please review as they remind me that others care for these characters that occupy my head. Thanks, FaeCym***


	63. Chapter 63 As Time Passes

Piper discovered the envelope after Cal left. It was the same one she sent to Alex with her journals inside. It was in the mail that Polly sent from her apartment. It was stamped "NO INMATE HERE BY THAT NAME" in red and had been returned to sender. Alex never read her journals, Alex never knew her address...this set Piper in to a tail spin. She had spent almost three months thinking Alex had read all of her words and still chose to leave. She drank, by herself until she could barely stand. Alone in the house, she kept drinking until she passed out completely. She was on her back, on the couch with a half empty bottle of expensive tequila beside her when she first saw her. Alex appeared before her. She wasn't wearing her uniform but she had on the dress she was wearing that day in the Brussels airport. Piper thought it was odd that she was wearing a ten year old dress and tried to tell her.

But she couldn't, she was sick to her stomach and her body was heaving. She thought, "oh this is attractive Piper" laying on your back, choking on puke while Alex watched. She heard her then, _Piper turn over, Piper pick your head up and turn over now_!

She had one thought that Alex was being bossy, then she forced her drunk self to turn over. She threw up by the couch numerous times. When she couldn't anymore, she took her first good deep breath. She mumbled in to the pillow, "Sssattissfied? Now, I'll live to miss you.." She heard her one more time behind her before she passed out into oblivion,_ Miss me, kid, miss me all you want but you gotta live_.

Months passed and Piper worked on her book. The holidays came and to her surprise her whole family came to Connecticut for Thanksgiving. Piper pulled herself away from her work to host. Cal helped her cook and they had Polly, Finn and Pete join them. They stayed the weekend and she was glad to see them all go so she could get back to work. No one mentioned Alex to her at all. The envelope with her journals, was propped up against the window before her desk. She had that picture of her and Cal framed beside it. She would look at the envelope when she was stuck on what to write. It seemed to be working. Piper traveled to New York in December and met with her publisher. They were certain it could be finished by the May date.

Piper didn't send out Christmas cards. She was in Brooklyn for the holidays and was trying to find Finn a third toy because she wanted to spoil him rotten when she ran into Larry. He was shopping for Finn as well. He looked fit and had a woman with him.

"Oh Piper, hey happy holidays. Um you think Finn would like this train? It runs on its own with a few pushes, not sure.." he rambled showing her the train. No "hello Pipes" or "how you been, Piper" just right in to asking about a gift for Finn. Piper shrugged and went with it, telling him he'd love it and if it made lots of noise that would bother Pete and Polly that was a plus. Larry was happy with the choice and called a lovely girl over. She had this long red hair that looked to be out of a shampoo commercial.

"Mila, this is Piper, my ex-fiance', Piper this is Mila, my new girlfriend." He said and even managed not to sound smug. Piper smiled at her and shook her hand. She could tell by Mila's expression that she was thinking " Oh THIS is the one that fucked Larry up." However, she was polite. Piper told him she was enjoying living in the country and her book was going well. They chatted for a few and he asked her if she was going to Pete and Polly's bash in a few days. Piper nodded and said she looked forward to seeing them there.

She didn't. She didn't want to celebrate. She didn't want to go out parties and be forced to live her life. Piper missed her quiet life where no one wanted her to engage. She felt awful talking to Larry because it just proved to her everyone can carry on with their lives..everyone but her. If she allowed her thoughts to travel to Alex, she would see her with any number of women. She imagined her as Big Boo, running girls all over some new prison. She knew once they had Alex's lips on them they'd do anything to keep her happy.

She faked a water pipe rupture in Connecticut and left the city two days before the party. She was going to get "stuck in the snow' and miss all the festiviites. That was her plan. She got back to the house and it was freezing. She built a fire but the furnace seemed to be out. She tried to get it started but had to give in and call Owen. He wasn't home but his nephew Steve came out to take a look. Steve was tall with jet black hair. Piper had learned from Owen that Steve was a grad student working on his PhD in literature. At Thanksgiving, he had talked to her father for a long time in the garden. He was staying with this Uncle while he worked on his dissertation but Piper had a feeling he was there at the family's request to make sure Owen didn't overdo it before he retired. She found Steve to be kind and it was nice to speak to someone else that was essentially writing a book.

"I got it lit Miss Chapman. If it goes out again, just give me a call." He said as he started to put his massive coat back on his body. Piper couldn't help but enjoy his physique under his flannel shirt. He turned and looked at her, obviously catching her checking him out. Piper grinned unbashedly at him. AFterall, she reminded herself, she was a free woman.

"What are your plans for Christmas?" he asked. Piper blinked a moment before answering.

"I was going to be in the City but I...well I ran back here. I didn't want to go to a party. Childish, I know. I'll probably head back Christmas day and make the rounds. My parents aren't in town for the holidays so it is just Cal and friends I need to see." she answered with more detail than she had anticipated.

He smiled at her and stepped a little closer, "So do you just hate Christmas or is it parties you do not like? You know...if you want a date to this party, I'd be happy to accompany you. That is if you don't mind me staying then night in Brooklyn? My own room of course." He assured her with confidence. Piper was struck by his audacity. Yet, there he was a handsome, smart man asking her to a party she was avoiding because she had to go alone.

Why the hell not. "You got it. The party is tomorrow night, what do you say to leaving in the morning? You can drive the caddy. I have a two bedroom apartment, if you don't mind sharing your bedroom with my in home office?" she said to be very clear she wasn't bringing him back to New York for a holiday booty call. He stepped forward more until she was very close to her and she could smell his aftershave.

"That sounds like the best offer I've had in months. I'll be here in the morning then." He lowered his head close to Piper's face and she found her eyes locked on his lips. Her eyebrows shot up as if to ask, "So how far are you taking this tease?" He laughed and left, whistling as he walked in to the cold December air.

She packed four times. It was ridiculous she was still packed from before but now she wondered what she'd wear to the party. She could practically hear Polly squeal with delight all the way in Connecticut when she text-ed she'd be coming after all. She didn't mention the date. Steve arrived on time and they were off. He was a great conversationalist, she had to give him credit. He spoke about books and publishing. He discussed his dissertation briefly. It was on the influence of early American Literature on current pop culture. It fascinated Piper. Before she was aware of it, she was giving him directions on where to park in her neighborhood. He carried her bag to her place, though she told him he didn't need to do that. He just looked at her in a way that let her know, he was going to do it, even though he didn't have to. Piper found that endearing. She spent time showing him around her area of Brooklyn. They ate a small lunch at her favorite cafe, two blocks over from her place.

He had been in New York before but not Brooklyn. She found out he was six years her junior. Piper kind of liked the robbing the cradle vibe it gave her. He looked around her home and stared for a moment at the framed fist hole in her wall. She said, "Um yeah, let's just call that rage art." He laughed and Piper excused herself to go get dressed. She also made sure the bed was cleaned off and his bed was ready. She put on the same black dress she was going to wear and added a necklace that her grandmother left her. He looked wonderful in jeans, boots and a nice thick knit grey sweater. He put on a scarf and held out his arm to escort her to the car. She hailed a cab instead, she didn't feel like walking that far in her heels.

She knocked and walked in to Polly and Pete's place. It was decorated all festive. She thought maybe about getting a small tree for her apartment but she didn't plan on staying so it seemed a waste. Steve was carrying all of Finn's presents for the tree. She had made Polly her favorite lotion with Rosemary and Citrus. She got Pete a new tie and Finn books and toys. "Polly this is my date, Steve. Steve this is my best friend Polly, her husband Pete and ...my godson is someplace." Polly shook his hand and tried to pick her jaw up off the floor. Piper said looking for him as he hid behind his father's leg. He was shy and Piper knelt down. She opened her arms and hoped he remembered her. He ran to her saying . "Pi Pi" and Piper was ecstatic.

She swung him around and brought him to meet Steve. Finn looked at him and put his arms around Piper's neck and said "Mine." Piper laughed and her eyes got bit.

"It's okay, little man. I'll just borrow her for the night. I think some of these presents are for you. Maybe you could show me where to put them under the tree?" He asked in a gentle voice as he looked Finn in the eye. Finn thought about it and looked at Piper. She smiled back at him any and nodded. He wiggled down and took Steve by his pant leg. He led him to the tree in the den.

"Who is he?" Polly asked, "Are you hiding a harem of gorgeous younger men in Connecticut?" Piper looked at Pete for help and he handed her a glass of wine. Other people were there already so Pete went to host. She knew Monica, Jerry, Amanda and Shawn. She saw Larry across the room telling a story to Mila and a guy she didn't know.

"He is done with his course work on his PhD from Columbia. He lives near me and helps keep the roses.." Piper explained and Polly laughe.d

"You're fucking your gardener!" she said in a low voice. Piper wondered how many glasses her sister already down. Polly gave her "the look" as Steve approached with a talkative Finn behind him. Polly told her that Finn would be going to an overnight sitter in about a half hour. That was all Piper needed to escape the party for a little while to play with Finn in his room. Steve followed her and leaned against the doorframe, watching as Finn showed his favorite Pi Pi his new toys and a fish tank that had one sad fish swimming around. Piper laughed as he tried to decide which toy he would take with him and he really wanted both. He considered each toy and held them both out to Piper to choose. She chose the teddy and he seemed to like it. Polly came for him a short while after and he cried because he didn't want to leave Pi Pi. She promised him she'd spend time with him later and carried him outside to the mini van. Once back inside, she was actually hungry and got something to eat with Steve.

Larry walked over and Piper took a deep breath. Larry introduced himself to Steve, " Hello, I'm Larry Bloom, this is my girlfriend Mila Avodjadic." Steve introduced himself and Piper just said hello. It was as if Steve realized there was history because he leaned in to her and put his hand on the bottom of her back. "Um, so how did you meet Piper, Steve?" Larry asked.

Piper clenched her jaw, he was being so nosey. She had seen him with Mila twice now and hadn't cared to know how they met. Steve looked down to Piper and shrugged, "My uncle introduced us," he answered with an easy calm. Piper leaned against him in a way that was more familiar than she ever had before. She smiled up to him and felt Larry become more upset.

"He lives near me in Connecticut and was kind enough to come in to the City to be my date." Piper said honestly. She didn't mind that Larry had a girlfriend but she didn't want to play these kinds of games with him. Steve asked her if she wanted more wine and she nodded handing him her glass.

Steve excused himself and headed towards the bar where Pete was pouring. Piper smiled kindly to Mila and Larry. "So, Piper you are back with guys now. Can't seem to make up your mind. He is a bit.."

"Fuck off Larry," was all she wanted to say. She walked towards Steve and took the wine, drinking it half empty.

"Let me guess, he is your Ex. He is staring over here." Steve said with an amused tone in his voice. He sipped his beer and brought Piper back to the buffet. She picked at different pieces and found what he liked. They shared a plate and he made funny observations about party etiquette. To Piper's surprise, Chris and Roger arrived late. She had not seen him since the lunch where she pretty much told him she thought he was helping Alex to hide. She just turned to Steve and focused on him. They laughed and enjoyed the food. Polly joined them and very gently pushed Steve for details about their relationship. He was very clever and gave very vague answers.

Roger walked over to them and stopped beside her. He reached out to take her elbow and turn her towards him. He said simply, " Merry Christmas and I've missed you." Piper hugged him and wished him a happy holiday. She gave Chris a big hug as well. She was immediately wary and afraid that he would mention Alex's name and any pretense she was trying to make about having a halfway normal life. Steve sensed she was upset and moved his arm around her to give her comfort. Piper found it nice to relax in to his embrace. Roger watched them for a moment and set his jaw. Piper didn't look at him. Her mind was screaming "what if he tells Alex? what if he tells Alex he saw her at a Christmas party with a strange man?".

She immediately felt like she didn't want to stay. She turned to Steve and started to ask to leave. Pete called them over for a toast though. She moved, happy to be moving away from Roger. Pete toasted his family and announced he had a new job at NPR doing sound for Fresh Air. Everyone was happy for him and Piper gave him a kiss. Piper pulled Polly aside and said they would be leaving. Polly was upset she was leaving so soon but Piper was honest with her. She said she couldn't deal with Roger and the fact he could mention Alex. Polly was disappointed but said she understood. Piper asked her if she'd be willing to drive her back to Connecticut after Christmas so she could stay and spend more time with Finn. Polly was happy and the fact she was going to get some alone time with Piper soothed her hurt feelings about the early departure. Steve shook Pete's hand and thanked them both for their hospitality.

Piper did make her way to the kitchen though and took a bottle of her favorite Merlot with her. She figured she'd get Polly back. She waved her goodbyes and turned before anyone could approach them for a long farewell. Steve was perfect again and had their jackets all ready to go. Piper and Steve decided to walk the blocks to Piper's place. He carried the bottle of wine and held his arm out for Piper.

"So, I am pretty sure that Roger guy is gay. He can't be an Ex right? How come he upset you more than your ex-fiance' Larry?" Steve asked when they were a block away.

"Well, Roger is an old friend and I didn't want to discuss history with him. I'm trying to move on from painful events. He is just a reminder." Piper said with care. Steve nodded and leaned down so his mouth was near her ear,"Moving on is a good thing." Piper laughed and had to agree. They were both freezing by the time they got back to her Apartment. Piper opened the wine and went to get out of her dress. She came out in a more comfortable outfit, yoga pants and a soft sweater. She sat on her couch beside him and enjoyed her wine. He talked with her for a few hours about her books. They discussed Jane Austin and feminism for two hours. He leaned in to her as she spoke and kissed her lips softly.

Piper looked at him and said, "I'm in love with someone else." She wanted to be able to explore him, to enjoy his body. Oh how much she wanted to be pounded in to forgetting everything. She could see herself choosing right that moment to choose orgasms over feelings. Yet, he wasn't the one she wanted. She had been with no one since Alex and as much as it made her sad, she knew she wasn't going to sleep with him now.

He nodded softly and leaned back, "I know it isn't Larry. Someone else?"

She nodded and moved in to give him a hug. "The spare room is made up and I really want to thank you for coming with me. I know it wasn't a grand ole time but I did enjoy our night." He could tell she wasn't going to answer. She rose and pulled herself away from him. He rose and helped her take the glasses to the sink, then followed her to the room, pulling his suitcase behind. She said goodnight and shut her door. Piper went to her luggage and reached inside. She pulled out the picture of Alex that Fischer gave her.

"Happy Holidays, where ever you are Alex. I hope you've found happiness and your time is easier," she whispered. Piper curled up and slept holding the picture in her hand.

Steve returned to Connecticut, taking the car. She told him she'd see him when she got back. Polly didn't press her for information about Steve and she was grateful. She saw Finn's face on Christmas morning and saw a glimpse of happiness. Her mother and father called. She had a long conversation with each of them and filled them in on the progress of her book. She stayed until after the New Year and was taken back to the house by Polly. Piper was corresponding with former inmates. She got permission from each person she put in her book. She protected each of them by changing their names and crimes. Red wrote her the most and Piper sent her a package for Christmas. She felt supported from everyone but the one person she wanted the most.

Red had written that she missed Piper and her tall girlfriend. She told Piper she had given Alex all of her letters back, seen her for breakfast and mail call that morning, then Alex had simply withdrawn in to her room. Red said that she and Boo had come by to see her but Alex didn't speak to them. She asked Piper if she knew where Alex had been transferred. Piper had written them all back. She explained what happened to Red and that she didn't know what had happened to Alex.

Piper worked long and hard on her book. Steve would come over and cook her dinner. He was always a gentleman and more than once Piper had been tempted to partake in the lovely safe sexual release he offered. But once it came down to doing it, she would see Alex and feel it was all wrong. She resigned herself on not having any release but her own tired fingers. As she got closer to finishing her book, Cal visited and they decided to put the house up for rent in the Summer.

In April, she was finished with the book and it was ready for press. She asked Steve if he'd move in to the place until they were ready to rent it out in June. He agreed. She only got drunk one time on her and Alex's anniversary. She had picked herself up the next day and promised never to drink herself sick of her again. She knew that was a promise she'd probably break. Piper packed up her things and drove a rental back to Brooklyn. She was ready to start promoting her book and possibly after the book tour, going back to work full time. She felt accomplished and much more put together. She had examined her life and teh worst year of it and come out the other side. She called her book, "_Orange is the New Black_" and hoped sharing her worst mistake helped spread the word about the idiocy of drug sentencing laws.

Piper unpacked back in Brooklyn and felt more at home once her things were back. She set up her desk last, putting her picture of Cal in a place of honor beside her laptop. She then placed the un-open envelope on the shelf of the desk and just looked at it. "I did it, Alex." She touched her name and traced her prisoner number with her fingertips then she cut off the light.

**8 months have passed since their time in the DA's office. I told you it would go fast...patience and trust. :) Please review. I posted this from a coffee house LOL Peace, Faecym


	64. Chapter 64 Better Than Me

I really miss your hair in my face  
And the way your innocence tastes  
And I think you should know this  
You deserve much better than me-

_Better Than Me_- Hinder

The book was released and Piper had a party at a local club. Everyone was there. She made a point to invite Roger and when she spoke about her book, she included all the support from Polly and Roger. Piper read an excerpt from the book and she looked up after reading to see Roger wiping his eyes. It had been about the day she arrived at the Prison. Her book praised Larry for his support as well. She answered questions afterwards and they asked if she was married now. Piper said no and spoke about how dealing with Post Traumatic Stress after her release had put too much a strain on her relationship with Larry. She was kind and told them how they tried for over a year after she got out. She didn't write on thing about her love for Alex while at Litchfield. It was her private story and she couldn't share it. She wasn't prepared for the women and men that hit on her afterward her reading. Chris came over to her and spent much of the night by her side. It was her first glimpse at media for the book and Piper tried to steady herself for the oncoming rush.

Piper walked home in the clear May night rather than ride with Pete and Polly. It had been nice to see Roger and Chris. She told him she'd call him later in the week. Her mind drifted to Alex and she imagined how nerve racking it would be to wait on Alex to read her book. She could freak to know what she thought. It occurred to her then that she didn't care about what others thought really, but Alex...that would make her nervous. She was thinking about that when she came up her stoop and saw a cat sitting by her door. The cat looked a bit scruffy, it was a Tabby with a dark back. He was big but she could tell he had lost weight recently. She tried to shoo him off her stoop but he just rubbed against her ankles. Piper slipped inside and had to shut the door quickly to keep him from coming inside.

He cried on her doorstep for a half an hour. Finally, Piper found a can of tuna and gave it to him. He ate it with pleasure and even purred. She rolled her eyes at her own sentimental self and hoped he'd find his way back home in the morning. She kicked out of her shoes and dressed comfy for the night. She sipped some wine while sitting at her desk. She gazed at the envelope of her journals. She reached out and traced her name again and said, "Alex, when will my life feel right again? When will time pass and I feel like you aren't supposed to be here beside me? I wrote a book, Alex. I hope it helps people. I hope it helps you," her voice broke as she said the last part. She did, she hoped her book helped women in prison. She wanted it to help shed light on the travesty of mandatory sentencing. Yet more than anything she wanted someone to send extra books to the prison or write a letter begging politicians to reevaluate sentences.

She wanted it to help Alex. Now she was done writing it, she had to promote it. She had a book tour that would span several months, two countries and multiple cities. She left for her first signing in Boston in two days. All this travel should have made her feel amazing but it didn't. It just made her miss Alex more. Piper went to bed and stared at the ceiling. She often thought about what Alex was doing in the wee hours of the morning. She tried so hard not to imagine another woman sneaking in to her bunk. She knew that Alex deserved love and release. She denied herself but she didn't think Alex would do the same. Alex deserved someone that owned their crime, loved Alex for all her great traits and someone that wouldn't leave her when it got scary. Alex deserved so much better than her. But she wanted to be the one there for her anyway.

Piper met the cat on her stoop the next morning. Piper frowned down at him and tried to shoo him away. He ignored her and rubbed against her again. It made her frown but she did give a thought to maybe getting some cat food later. Piper met with her agent and was introduced to someone from their company that would be her assistant on the road. Her name was Eva and she was vibrant and bright. She would arrange Piper's appearances, see that her needs were met and help run interference when questions got too personal. They had created a twitter account for her that was seperate than her regular account. She also showed Piper her new website and mentioned Piper needed to get an assistant to help maintain it while seh was on the road. Her publisher was sending over candidates that afternoon. She gave Eva her address and asked her to help her pick an assistant. Privacy was an issue for her so it had to be someone she could trust.

She stopped by the store on the way home and got some sushi for lunch. She went back in for the cat food. Piper didn't see him when she first got home and was pissed at herself for being upset. She knew why she liked the cat. Alex had two black cats when they first started dating. She had given both of them to her mom to keep when they moved abroad. Piper had never been attached to them as they mostly kept to themselves except for their nightly time to lay all over Alex. If she was being fair, she'd admit they laid on her too when they would snuggle on the couch. She had always found it to be funny that Alex loved them so much.

She answered letters to Boo, Red, Sister Ingalls and Taystee. She told them all about the party and how her book was received. She had special paperback copies printed so she could send them to her friends. They should all be getting them before the letters arrived. It was really nice to write those letters. She made sure to use nice stationary and all the approved forms of pen so they would go through. On her list of book tour was four women's prisons. She was not visiting Litchfield but she would be going to Danbury, Dublin, Alderson and Carswell. She knew that at two of them, she would be attending an inmate show, doing a reading and talk plus conducting the tour with two politicians. She knew it was a photo op for them but they didn't know exactly what she was going to point out. Piper would use what she could to make her points be heard.

Eva arrived that afternoon and there was the cat. He slipped inside when Piper opened the door for her. She got some catfood and lured him back out on the stoop.

"You know, now that you've fed him he will never leave." Eva said as she watched Piper with amusement. Piper shrugged. She understood the attraction to having good food provided. Eva enjoyed looking around her apartment and commented on her photos. She liked her and felt at ease with her. They started the interviews and Piper was discouraged until she met with the fourth woman. Her name was Raven and she was engaging, sweet and energetic. She asked to see Piper's desk. Piper showed her where she worked and Raven looked at it for a few minutes.

"So I can tell what I shouldn't move.." she pointed at the envelope not quiet touching it. Piper nodded, "...also that you have a process. You will need someone to take messages, run your errands, handle some press releases, maintain your website and work with your other charities. You work as a marketing consultant as well?" Piper explained her job and how what she does. Raven seemed to think she could help. Piper hired her right then and Eva called the other two girls before they came by for the interview. Eva gave Raven Piper's itinerary for the next year. They were sharing files and notes in no time. It made Piper smile and reminded her of how Poussey and Taystee would hover over new books in the library.

Piper left for her trip later and asked Polly to come by and feed the cat. She knew it was ridiculous but she wanted to make sure he had food each day. Raven said she'd help as well. Polly liked Raven right away and that had made Piper happy. Before she left though, she met with Roger at their restaurant.

"You are looking happier Piper. I think finishing your book was good for you," he began. Piper thanked him and returned the compliment saying that Chris was good for him. Roger had to agree.

Piper ordered a salad and then she said, "I...want to know if you heard from her. I know what I said when last we spoke of her but I want to know she is alive and well." She looked up at him and saw his expression.

"She is alive. I didn't hear from her until Christmas, we still do not speak regularly and the rule is never about you. But she is alive and healthy Piper." He said gently to her. Piper burst in to tears and then immediately covered her face. She was so relieved. She wiped her eyes furiously and told him 'thank you' in a shakey voice. After that, they spoke about her book, the tour and where she needed to eat in each town.

Piper enjoyed her book signings in book stores. She would come in early and hang out at the stores, then surprise them when she came over to be the author. Her first trip in to a prison wasn't enjoyable. Piper had to brace herself when she walked in for the onslaught of emotions that hit her. The lack of color, the feeling of hopelessness, the uniforms and echoing sounds brought it all back. And she looked. She looked at every face, in every place for Alex. She didn't ask anyone officially for her. She just looked in each face, hoping to see Alex. She only visited minimum security facilities on this tour. She used her time with politicians to speak about the impact the drug laws were having on families. She brought two of them to the visitation room at Dublin and let them see the children that gathered there to see their mother's for precious time each week. She hoped it helped them to put a faces on the crimes, not just numbers.

Time passed and Piper's book made the Best Seller's list. She traveled throughout the Summer. She started to really rely on Eva when they were traveling and Raven when at home. Eva was gorgeous and it took Piper months to realize Eva had a crush on her. Polly noticed it earlier but said nothing until it finally dawned on Piper.

"For someone that is Bisexual, you are oblivious to sexual advances for either sex!" she teased Piper over a glass of wine one cold November afternoon.

Piper frowned. "She is amazing, funny, smart, outgoing and I rely on her. I just..." Piper let her voice trail off.

"Just what Pipes? You just don't feel anything for anyone that isn't Alex?" Polly asked with real anger in her voice.

"Stop it Polly, let's just not dis-" Piper began.

"No! Not this time. I'm not going to ignore it anymore. It has been over a year Piper. A YEAR! Not to mention how long you waited while you guys still talked. You've put your romantic life on hold for her. If you are going to do it, just admit that you are waiting on her time to be up, hoping she finds you." Polly said with such conviction that Piper just leaned back to listen.

Piper asked her if she was done and Polly waved her hand telling her to go on and speak, "I can't help how I feel, but you are right. It is time I move on and maybe a date out with Eva will be good." Polly nearly spit her wine out. She was totally stunned. Piper had been thinking she needed to try again. She wasn't ready when Steve was around but maybe now that she already knew Eva, maybe she would feel more like trying with her.

She left Polly's and walked home although she regretted it once the wind really started to tear through her. She had wanted to walk and think. Was she unconsciously waiting on Alex to be free? She had 34 months left of her sentence. Piper knew she would wait in a heartbeat if that was what Alex wanted. She had to except, after her conversation with Roger, that Alex simply didn't want to be with her anymore. If she still cared for Piper she wouldn't be able to keep herself from asking Roger about her.

When she got back to the apartment, Raven had let Eva inside and they were both bent over Raven's laptop in the living room. The cat was sitting beside them on the couch. Piper had decided yesterday to accept that he had adopted her. She was thinking of calling him Chaucer but wasn't sure. He jumped down when she came inside and did his usual rubbing of her ankles, to let her know he was there.

"Raven, hi..um did you get him a box?" Piper had left her a list of things to buy for him on top of her already heavy load. She would feel bad except that she did well when busy. She told Piper she had it, set up in the laundry room and he had used it already. Piper was pleased he was liter box trained and it confirmed he had belonged to someone else. She was going to take him by the Vet tomorrow morning for a check up and to see if he had a chip.

"Yes I confirmed with the Vet, they asked for a name and I said Chaucer Kerman, because you tried that name out on him this morning and he seemed to like it." Raven offered not looking up from her work. Eva walked over and picked him up, scratching his scruffy neck.

"I knew you'd end up keeping him." She teased as she smiles at Piper. Piper looked at her and then cleared her throat. Eva raised her eyebrow in inquiry.

"Um would you like to go to dinner tonight?" Piper asked. She was very rusty and wasn't sure her intent got through.

"Oh I am going to meet some friends in SoHo for some drinks, you're.." she stopped when Piper smiled at her and reached up to push a tendril of hair from her face. Eva had dark black hair that had grown longer while Piper had known her. Her eyes were a light blue and she looked a little like Ksenia Solo. She was beautiful inside and out, Piper hoped Eva was getting the message, "um not asking me out for a work dinner are you?" She finished. Raven quietly took her laptop and left the room.

"If you're not interested or would rather wait until we finish up these last New York book signings, then I understand." Piper explained gently to her.

"No! I would be thrilled to go out with you. I'll cancel with my friends or maybe we can try and meet up with them later?" She offered. Piper nodded happily. She then thought about needing reservations and went off to find Raven.

"I have two for dinner at 7-that place on Tenth you like so much, is that alright?" she asked before Piper could request she make them.

"You're too good for me, woman. Thank you! " Piper said and Raven just waved her back to the living room telling her that Eva had details to go over.

Eva was on the phone when she came back in the living room. Piper got herself a bottle of water. She had to pace herself. She and Polly had put back two glasses of wine already. She was determined not to get completely fucked up before this date.

Eva hung up and turned to her. She smiled, "It is all good. They'd love to meet you but will understand if we don't show up tonight." Eva walked over to the couch and sat down close to Piper. Piper leaned in to her and inhaled the scent of her hair. It was lavender and she tried really hardy not to think about Alex.

"Okay so your signing is tomorrow night, Upper East side, a new store called "Book 'em". Eva began though Piper could tell she was having a harder time thinking with Piper so close. That was a really nice feeling to have again.

"This is in the same places as the Christian book store was right?" Piper asked to clarify. She had already looked the bookstore over online. It seemed very new and modern. You would feel comfortable there reading your Kindle or curling up in the corner with a good book.

"Yes it is. The Christian company went out of business and each one was bought out. They've opened two of three stores here. The last one is supposed to be in Brooklyn but I've no idea where it going." Eva answered. Piper read over more details and they made plans to meet outside the bookstore before 8PM tomorrow. Piper walked Eva over to the door and opened it before she left. She made sure she had all of her things and had to smile again as she was flustered. Eva was younger than Piper and she could tell that Eva had limited experience with women. It was nice though to be the one so sure of her sexual prowess.

Piper took a cab to pick up Eva. They went to dinner, talking all the way about work and how nervous they were going out. Piper was sweet and opened the door for Eva. She laughed as Eva reacted completely surprised. Really, being a feminist doesn't mean you throw out all the sweet chivalrous moves that can get you in a girl's pants-for a political sign. The evening was going great but Piper wasn't sure she could handle the added stress of dealing with her friends, so she told Eva no to going out to see her friends. Eva didn't mind at all and seemed happy to be riding home with Piper in a cab. Piper told the cabby to wait and walked Eva up to her building.

She stood before the door to the building as Eva was buzzed inside. She looked back to Piper and smiled so sweetly. " Come up? I have some of the bourbon you like..." Eva asked. She reached out and pulled Piper to her by her waist. Piper felt it immediately in her weakened legs and increased heart rate. She marveled in the feelings for a few moments. She knew Eva wasn't asking her up for just a drink.

Piper pushed her hair back behind her ear and leaned in to kiss Eva. She was gentle and the soft lips felt better, almost right. Her body screamed with need and she had to close her mind to the demands. She saw so many possibilities in that kiss. Her main idea involved pushing Eva against the building and taking her as her body craved. All of this ran through her head as they kissed, but as they pulled back Piper opened her eyes to see Alex standing before her. Alex's face swam before her and her body screamed out knowing _that_ was what she truly needed.

Piper blinked and turned away from her quickly. She rubbed her eyes and shook her head. "Thank you for a great evening, I had better be getting back to Chaucer..um...tomorrow night, see you there." Piper sputtered out as she walked away down the path towards the cab without looking back at the ghost she can't leave behind.

***Okay so I hope you liked this chapter. I have covered a huge amount of time in a few chapters but hopefully put enough hints in the content that you are aware of the time that has passed. Piper has really come in to her own now and I appreciate that so many of you know and recognize this to be fact. Thanks for the song suggestions; I adore Hinder and the song 'Better Than Me", thus using it here for you-though I do think it fits Alex-to-Piper better. Please Review! Peace, Faecym***


	65. Chapter 65 Ghost That She Knew

Piper paid the driver and watched the cab drive off. She was standing in front of a bar, somewhere between Eva's building and her apartment. She turned and walked inside going straight to the bar. Piper sat and ordered a shot of tequila with a beer. The bartender was a gorgeous woman with long brown hair. Piper directed her to avoid the cheap house Tequila. She took the shot and exhaled a vaporous breath.

She just kissed Alex. But it wasn't Alex it was Eva. She was so messed up her own mind played tricks on her. It is worse than when she thought she blacked out and couldn't remember what she did with the screw driver. She actually thought she was going to be normal. She thought she was a person completely over Alex Vause.

Piper ordered another shot and sipped her beer while waiting. The bartender set up her tab and read her name on her card. "I just read your book, Miss Chapman. I was down for 25 months, drugs. I was lucky as well, I had girlfriend and she was an angel. She owned a bar," the woman smiled as if this woman was gone. Piper pondered for a moment. She liked to observe people and she just knew that her girlfriend was dead. Piper was reasonably sure Alex is alive.

"Thank you for reading my book," she said with genuine sincerity. It always amazed her that someone would want to read her story. She just watched and recorded the world around her. She watched Alex mostly. Not a day goes by she doesn't think of prison. Some of those memories though are so damn special she can only visit them when she is alone. She kept all of those memories out of the book. She kept as much of herself as she could. Maybe they were forcing their way out in to her reality now. Eva's lips are soft, softer than Alex's lips. She tasted like lip gloss. Alex once when they snuck a kiss had just eaten Doritos that Nicky got from Red. It had thrilled Piper more than anything she possibly explain to anyone other than an inmate.

Piper rubbed her face and took another shot. She now had that nice hot glow. She had eaten dinner with Eva, but didn't drink wine. So Piper felt she had some drinking to do. The Bartender looked at her a bit concerned.

"Um, I had a bad date, I am not driving and if I start like seeing things, call this number here." Piper said as she wrote Polly's number down. She then remembered she was out of town until the morning. So she scratched that out and wrote Roger's number down. The bartender, Rebecca- she found out later- took the number but frowned as she put it by her register. Piper was suddenly surrounded by two women.

One brash voice ordered, "I'll have whatever she is having." She pointed down to Piper's empty shot glass.

Piper blinked then heard another distinct New York voice say, "I'll have a water and something to eat, I'm starving." Piper turned her head and literally jerked her body as if she was smacked. There sat Nicole Nichols on her left and Lorna Morello on her right. Piper just threw her head back and laughed. She poured her own shot next and took a shot.

"Put whatever they want on my tab," she looked over to Nicky, "within reason. I will most likely say yes to anything after three or four more of these, so Morello it's on your honor." Piper said as she took another one.

"Fuck, Chapman I never took you for an outright drunk." Nicky said as if it made her more interesting suddenly.

"Aww honey, don't pick at her. You know she is a lightweight, remember the hooch? Four more of these and she is in the ER." Lorna said as she took the bottle and handed it to Rebecca. Piper looked at her with a fuzzy expression.

"Are you real? Because fuckin' Ghosts have been following me all night. I was having a wonderful date. Eva is a great..and fuckin' hot. Very hot and hot for me, I didn't imagine it." She slurred. She winced and leaned on the bar, resting her head in her hand.

"Sounds like an awful night there Chapman, hot girls and ghosts aside though, you aren't driving are you?" Nicky said. Piper pointed to the bartender and Rebecca shows her the number she was to call. Piper took Lorna's second shot before she could and shot it back. She laughed and stuck out her arms. She closed her eyes and felt herself sway.

"I'm glad you're here Nicky, you too Lorna. I gotta go pee. Feed this woman before she falls over. " Piper said to Lorna as she slapped Nicky on the back. She fell only slightly when she tried to stand. As if they had planned it in advance, Nicky was off her stool and behind Piper. Lorna took care of her tab and they all got a cab uptown. Nicky had to pay the guy an extra 10 to take Piper because he was pretty sure she was going to vomit.

Piper laughed, "Please, fuckin' party with Alex Vause...I don't throw up in cars. I don't throw up in fountains. I always throw up where no one can see me and keep a breath mint." She patted her purse and nodded towards the driver.

"What is your address Piper?" Lorna asked her rather loud. Piper winced.

"I'm wasted Morello, not deaf," Piper murmured before giving the driver her address. She leaned back and set her eyes to focus on her own hand. "See Nic, the trick is not to notice the motion. Alex taught me. Just focus on your hand or I used to focus on her eyes...before you know it, you're at the hotel. She never brings anyone up and they all know that. No matter how fucked up we are, just us on the elevator. Ohhh did she piss off so many people with that rule. That was my rule. I told her, I said, "Okay I'll come with you, I'll quit my job and move around the world to be your girl...you just have to promise on your mother's life that you'll never share your body with anyone else". So my rule and it pissed off people but she just didn't fuckin' care. She'd give them shit back about being sluts and how I was more than enough for her." Piper laughed and laughed at this thought.

"Sounds like you two were in love, Piper." Lorna said. Piper nodded.

"She deserved better than me." Piper said. They pulled up to her curb and Piper handed Nicky money. She thanked them both and staggered out of the car towards the door. Lorna was by her side quickly. Piper felt her dinner threaten to surface but she took a big swallow of air.

She stood on the sidewalk and smiled at them both. "I'm fine. I can make it, don't worry I will be careful and not choke." Nicky told her to go fuck herself and then helped her up the steps. Lorna got her keys out and helped her in to her apartment. Piper frowned and missed the light switch three times before she blinded them all with the foyer light.

"Oh god, sorry fuck...oh my eyes.." Piper said wincing as she moved into the blissfully dark living room. Lorna admired her apartment and commented on the decor. Nicky went to the kitchen and got Piper some water. She pulled the trash out of the can too and brought it over to Piper who was sitting on her couch. Chaucer jumped up quickly and caused Lorna to scream.

"AWWWww what the fuck? Oh it's a kitty." She said seeing the cat clearly now in the moonlight from the window.

"That's Chaucer." Piper managed to say. Nicky brought her the water and the can. Piper thanked them both again and told them she'd be fine and not alone for long. Nicky looked around as if looking for someone but nodded anyway.

"I'll see you soon. If you need me, call." She said and she wrote her number on a magazine. Lorna hugged Piper goodbye and left after asking twice if she was sure. She nodded and waved at them both and watched as they left. Piper just wanted to be alone. She missed Connecticut. At that house she wasn't tempted to try and kiss cute girls. Piper drank her water and fell over on her side. She threw up five times in the night and no one saw.

The next morning, Raven came in to find Piper still passed out on the couch. She cleaned up around her and then helped her get up and in to a shower. Piper was embarrassed to be seen in such a state. She had meant to give Raven the day off. When she came out of the shower, she thanked her again but told her she could handle everything today.

"Really Miss Chapman, it is no big deal. You had a bit too much to drink, it is literally the only time I've ever seen you do it. I know you have the Vet today and you have five principal statements for WPA to read over and make suggestions. Those are due by one and you need get your hair done before your signing tonight. I um, would suggest a Spa day afterwards, perhaps I can get Miss Harper to join you?" she suggested hopefully. Piper frowned.

"No Raven, really I need to do this day on my own. Take it off, don't worry. I have that dinner party Sunday night here so if you could just focus on helping me prepare for that say around 2pm on Sunday?" Piper said to her as she walked her towards the door. Help was wonderful, but Piper really needed to not be productive today. She really needed to just live her ordinary life and try to forget the big ass she made of herself the night before. She had to face Eva at 8pm. Raven left reluctantly and Piper went to make her first of many coffees.

She took Chaucer to the vet and vowed she would tranquilize him first next time. He yowled all the way there, through the exam and all the way home. He only shut up when he was let out of his carrier and back into the apartment. He went to the bay window, jumped on to his blanket and plopped down with this back to her.

"Well too damn bad, you needed it. I have to pay the damn bill I shouldn't get attitude as well." Piper mumbled. The thought of food still made her queasy so she stuck to water. She had a half an hour before she had to take a cab to get her hair done. She didn't like going to the salon because it made her miss Sophia. Piper just couldn't. Not today...so she cancelled the appointment and decided to do it herself.

She took care with her appearance. She used her make up to conceal the ravages of the night before. She had practice at it. She couldn't help but remember how Alex had helped her with her makeup in that Chicago hotel. Alex was so careful to try and cover her tattoo. She had spoken to her then like Piper had seen her speak to others. She talked her up, telling her she was just a woman on vacation. She played with Piper and it made her excited. Piper saw her expression and wanted to please her more than anything. She wanted Alex to know she was in it for real.

She left with just enough time to get there. The publisher provided her with a wonderful car service. She had told them that she would be taking a cab to a friend's house and they didn't need to stay. She thought about changing that. Polly wanted her to stay the night. Piper wasn't sure she was up to the third degree.

She got out of the car and saw Eva standing before the bookstore with her iPad in her hand. She looked wonderful in her huge stylish coat. Piper smiled at her and leaned in to kiss her cheek. She saw Eva stiffen as she did it and knew they had to speak before moving in to the store.

"Alright, it will be a close area and they will line up before the table. Time per signing depends on..." Piper put her finger up to her lips. Eva got quiet and looked up at her startled.

"I'm sorry I left the way I did last night. It was rude of me. "Piper said politely.

Eva looked at her and turned her head to the side, "I just want to know one thing, Piper," she said.

"What is that?" Piper asked as she took a deep breath of the bitter night air. Eva put her arm around Piper's waist and leaned in closer to her.

"Who did you see when you opened your eyes?" she asked. Piper was stunned. She thought she had played it all off. She struggled to find the words to answer.

"I..uh..I..saw, " she stammered, "Fuck. I saw the woman I'm in love with; I saw her face and not yours. But I want you to know, I knew full well who I was kissing. It just..." Piper knew she couldn't explain it. She felt like a complete ass.

Eva nodded then said, "I knew it wasn't me because no one has ever looked at me that way. It was amazing..and scary because I didn't feel that way ...I mean we just started dating...but then I realized you saw someone else and were mortified." She looked down hurt. Piper apologized again.

Eva hugged her close. "It's okay. When you think you can kiss me without seeing her, ask me out again. I'm not promising anything, but we can see, right?"

Piper agreed and took her arm. She walked them in to the store feeling way better. She knew she wasn't healthy but at least she wasn't lying to herself just to get laid. She felt snow start to fall as she darted in the doorway. She hoped it didn't hurt the turn out. The bookstore had dark hardwood floors and was bigger on the inside than it looked to be from the out. Piper immediately felt at home and wanted to go get lost in the stacks. She kicked herself for not coming earlier but she had to appear professional here. Eva rattled on about the Convict Hiring Program they used there as they walked up to the desk.

"Yes that sure is a great program. I just love it myself. Hey Chapman, you going to be ok sitting in a folding chair or should I haul down a comfy one from the office?" Taystee asked her from behind the counter. Piper just froze and blinked three times.

"Folding chair is fine and OH MY GOD!" she ran around behind the counter and hugged her old bunky something proper. Taystee laughed and picked her up some by the force of her hug. Eva just smiled big watching the reunion.

"You're out, oh that is fantastic. Poussey?" she asked quickly. Taystee's expression brightened. "She is out and working near her family's place. She is going to come visit when she can. We both got some parole to finish but we keep in touch." She winked. Piper was so thrilled to see her. This was the perfect job for her. She let Taystee walk her around and show her the store. Piper basically ignored everyone else. They laughed and Piper made a reference to using a Harry Potter book for a stool. Taystee snorted with laughter. Piper really liked the alcoves throughout the place for readers. Each one had plugins and interface areas for electronic media, were out of the way of the shelves of books and magazines, looked comfortable and were stylish in their design. Taystee showed her the cafe' area and introduced her to Louann who was the barista. She was a young girl but seemed polite.

"Now you are our first Author here. I about fell out when I read you were coming here, but I was put out a bit because you already signed mine and I was hoping for another author." Taystee explained while Piper laughed. She was always honest.

"I'm sorry I haven't kept up as well as I should with you. I can't believe you got out and I didn't know." Piper said. Taystee waved her hand.

"Shit girl you were on a book tour. I'm in a halfway house place but a really good one." She explained about the program and Piper knew of it. She was thankful she had a place to go now. Eva asked Piper if she wanted her to stay. Piper told her to leave, that she could handle this event. They waved goodbye and she left into the cold night air.

People started coming in and lining up. Some bought other books, some had their books already and just stood in line. Piper was given a great cup of coffee from Louann and did her best to direct people to stay and enjoy the store. She signed many books and posed for pictures with nearly everyone that came through the line. As the closing of the store approached, Piper was beginning to feel tired. Yet she enjoyed discussing prison policies and sentencing with informed people.

She had switched to water and when her line was complete she reached down to swig some of her water when she heard Taystee say, " You got one more book there Chapman." Piper swung back up and looked at the book placed before her. It was open to the title page, she smiled and picked up her sharpie asking as she had all night, "Who do I make it out to?"

"Alex. Make it out to Alex." She said in a soft voice. Piper's eyes slowly travelled from her boots, up her jeans to the dark long sweater and the tip of her sweet hair...then she saw the face of her dreams. There stood Alex Vause.

**How much do you love me? Please review- Faecym.**


	66. Chapter 66 See The Headline Now

Alex smiled a small half smile while Piper looked up at her completely at a loss for words. She felt a feeling of joy start in her toes and rise up until she thought her chest would explode. Alex was standing in front of her, healthy, whole and free. Or was she?

"Taystee?." Piper asked softly, not looking away from Alex. Taystee had been standing behind Piper watching the exchange.

"Yeah Chapman?" she said back in her library voice.

"Is Alex Vause standing in front of me?"Piper asked unable to keep her disbelief out of her voice. Alex's smile turned to a smirk and she crossed her arms. Piper watched the movement, her eyes falling to her arms. She nearly closed her eyes when she saw the chiseled bicep show through her snug sweater.

"Um yeah Chapman, Vause is standing right in front of you. Damn girl, you running a fever again?" Taystee just shook her head and walked back to the counter, mumbling about white folks.

"I'm real. Are you going to sign my book? It's really good Piper. I was blown away by your words...by the truth." Alex said. Her voice was amused but very sincere. Piper automatically said thanks. She looked down at the book then and at her hand like she was seeing the sharpie for the first time.

She wrote:

To Alex,

Where the fuck have you been?

Piper Chapman.

She closed the book and handed it back to Alex. She read the inscription and laughed. Piper stood and walked around the table to stand beside her. She reached up with her hand and touched Alex's face gently. Piper's body felt a bolt of sensation that made her draw her hand back. Alex looked at her and pushed her glasses up more on her nose. Piper then pushed her back with both hands hard on her chest. It was an explosion of emotion...of rage.

"I asked you a fucking question Alex, Where the fuck have you been? " she asked again as she pushed Alex backwards until she was standing before a shelf of books. She went to push her again. This time Alex dropped her book and grabbed Pipers wrists. She jerked her forward and looked at Piper with such anger and emotion that Piper wanted to weep. She wanted to scream, curse or cry...or more than that to kiss Alex Vause dizzy. Taystee yelled to Chapman and Alex shook her head towards her.

"Enough, Piper. I'm not your punching bag anymore. I was in prison...I was in boot camp...I was on house arrest and now I am out." Alex answered through gritted teeth. Piper felt her arms go weak and they were held up by Alex's painful grip.

"Boot camp? No...no Alex, not Texas...no, you couldn't...you didn't qualify..no not Texas." Piper just murmured it. Alex winced and dropped her gaze along with Piper's arms. Piper had heard of the Boot Camp program in Texas. It was for young offenders, with less than two years left. It was horrible and harsh. The only reason it had any redeeming value is that it allowed some young offenders to integrate back in to society at a faster pace. Alex didn't qualify for it.

"I took it as a deal for the testimony against the Officers. I was offered it right after I saw you. The District Attorney spoke to me about it. He arranged it three months later, but I didn't decide to do it until about six months after we last talked." She explained. Piper still shook her head. Not Alex, not her Alex, not there.

Alex shrugged. "I spent the last part, Phase three, in Vermont on house arrest, working community service. I didn't get to read your book until then." Piper stared at her and Alex turned away. She bent and picked up the book, clutching it to her chest as she rose.

"I see. So you've been out for at least two months now. Do you work here?" Piper came back to her senses after giving up on processing the information that Alex had just given her.

"I guess you could say that." Alex nodded.

"You guess? What the fuck Alex, do you work here or not?" Piper said as her anger grew. Why couldn't anything ever just be easy between them? Why couldn't they just meet like old friends and say , " oh how have you been? Where do you work now?" But no, she had to stand there and have questions batted away like a nuisance.

Alex sighed and walked around Piper towards the counter, not answering. "Taystee, you guys get your jackets, it is really start to come down out there. I'll walk you down to the train and Lou on to her place."

"You got it boss." Taystee said, only too happy to leave off counting her till and go fetch Louann. Piper shook all over she was so upset.

"So you are the manager?" She prompted again, wishing she didn't care. Alex leaned against the counter, crossing her legs and arms as she seemed to be considering rather or not to answer Piper.

"I own the place. Nicky and I are partners. We opened this one on the Upper East Side first. We have one about to open on the west side and one in Brooklyn, "Alex explained. Piper could see pride in her eyes as she spoke and she so wanted to celebrate her.

Instead she just said, "So you finally figured out what you wanted."

Alex nodded, "Yes. Nicky invested big chunk of my hidden cash with a new investment firm her new father-in-law runs and made enough to bankroll this venture. It is all legit." Piper didn't argue that the money had come from illegal means to begin with because she knew it was futile.

"Awesome." Piper said. Taystee walked over carrying another long, thick jacket that Piper knew immediately belonged to Alex.

"Is your_ girlfriend_ coming back to pick you up?" Alex asked her in a steel cold voice. Piper looked over to Louann and was stunned they were all looking at her.

"Oh..You're asking me? Uh..I don't have a girl..Who?" Piper asked confused. Did she hear jealousy in her voice?

"Oh you're still doing both at the same time. I shouldn't be surprised you always did like have it all." Alex bit out.

"I have no fuckin' clue what you're getting at Alex. You...fuck you. Just fuck you and your store! I wish I'd known you owned the damn thing," Piper started to pick up her own jacket, and then turned as the feelings poured out, "You are cruel. You are fucking cruel Alex. Not one word..I thought you were dead. I thought...I didn't know for sure for months. You lied to me you sorry..."

Alex finished putting on her own jacket as Piper spoke. She turned and got close to Piper, interrupting her and making her take a step backwards. " . .YOU! I did that one time when we first were at Litchfield and that was it. I told you I'd write you while I was there. I wasn't the one that broke our agreement. I am not the CRUEL ONE, Piper Chapman." Her voice broke as she said the last words. Piper shook her head in disbelief.

"How can you say that? How can you stand there and look me in the eye and tell me what you did to me wasn't cruel. I went there Alex. I went back to that fucking place...I made myself walk in that visitation room and then my whole world was jerked out from under me." Piper screamed back at her.

Alex started to speak but Taystee got between them, "Look, you two are going to hurt each other. I don't want to have to hurt a bitch to get up outta here. I don't want to go back to prison over you two. So shelf this discussion for another time when you aren't so freaked about seeing each other." She used her best reasoning tone as she led Alex away from Piper and over to Louann. Piper watched as Louann put her arm around Alex's shoulder in a familiar way that made her stomach heave. Piper actually gasped for breath.

"Forget it. You're an evil bitch, Alex Vause. Fourteen months.." Piper turned and walked out of the store, leaving everything and everyone inside it behind.

She ran across the street not really looking. The snow was coming down harder and she didn't even pause as the horns honked. She cut around the corner and just walked. She started to run but the snow made her slip. She caught herself on lamp post but whacked her knee on a trashcan. She wanted to just run more, to run until her lungs hurt so much she died. She wanted to run away from the reality that Alex Vause was free...had been free and didn't love her. She clutched the post with both hands now, bent over and started to sob.

She didn't really feel the cold on her skin. She was cold on the inside all the way to her heart. She stood some and tried to wipe her eyes. She felt the cold snow from her sleeve and then realized she had been standing in a snow storm without a jacket for some time. She reached for her pocket, to find her phone and see what time it was but realized again that her phone was in her jacket.

"Mother fuck. Mother fuck...no fuck," she said over and over as she started to walk back down the street towards **Book 'em**. She stopped at the corner across the street and watched as Alex walked with Taystee and Louann, down the street towards the subway. She had just turned from locking the door so Piper knew she had to wait for her to return. She watched her walk with hungry eyes. Piper couldn't believe, even now what she had to do to be free. She had read accounts from that program and it made her stomach turn. Piper bent over some from the pain. She slid down the side of the building and crotched on the cold sidewalk. The wind was getting worse.

The bookstore's window was still lit and the sign was a bright Orange epitaph glistening in the fallen snow. She had always liked it here on York Ave. She could see the headline. It would read, "Celebrated Author Freezes to Death on York Ave". She knew she should get up and walk to a bar or down to the subway to get warm. She just couldn't make herself move. Piper had moved on from Alex not once now but twice. She just knew she didn't have it in her to do it a third time.

She saw a figure standing before the store door. She thought maybe she was hallucinating. Yet she pulled herself up and crossed the street. As she got closer, she could see Nicky's body hunched down opening the door.

"Damn, I knew we should have got a new door. I hate this fuckin' lock..." she mumbled in to the wind. She finally opened it and Piper entered behind her. Nicky turned around with her arm drawn back ready to punch whoever was letting themselves in to her store. She stopped seeing it is Piper.

"Shit Chapman, get in here. Where is your jacket?" Nicky exclaimed as she pulled Piper inside and pushed the door shut against the wind. Piper's teeth clattered as she rubbed her arms with her frozen hands. She looked at the clock and realized she'd been outside for over an hour.

"Ffffoorgggot ccccccoat." She chattered out. The store had been cleaned before they left. Piper's table was gone and the book displays were back in their regular place. She didn't see her jacket.

"Ah I see, I bet running off without your jacket was a direct result of seeing Alex. I told her we should have told your publicist. She said you wouldn't do the signing if you knew. I thought it was bullshit but...maybe it is in the back. Wait here." Nicky said as she walked towards the back of the store. Piper stood there waiting, freezing still in her wet clothes.

It was Piper's luck that as she stood there, Alex came back inside. She didn't look up but was kicking snow off of her boots when she yelled, "Nicky? Lorna? You should lock the door even..." she looked up and saw Piper freezing there before her and finished," upper east side." Piper stammered out she forgot her jacket.

"Yeah, I saw it, it is here behind..." Alex started towards the counter when she heard Nicky scream.

"VAUSE! CHAPMAN FUCK COME HERE QUICK!" she yelled at the top of her lungs. Piper's eyes grew wide but she turned and started to move her heavy cold feet towards the scream. What was wrong? Was someone breaking in? Is she hurt? Piper was passed by a fast moving Alex. She put herself in front of Piper as they came around the corner and saw the storage room door wide open with a light on inside. Alex ran in to the room and Piper stopped at the door frame while looking side the small place for Nicky.

She heard a "Sorry Chapman" and felt herself shoved forward into the room. She heard the door slam before she could catch herself on the wall and turn. Alex was faster again and reached for the door handle to yank the door open.

"HEY!" she yelled as she pulled at the door. It didn't budge. It was locked from the outside.

"Sorry Alex. You guys always did some of your best work in a storage closet, if I remember the sounds correctly. You both need to talk where neither of you can run. So consider this your SHU for the next little bit, I'm going to go meet Lorna at the pub. I'm going to listen all about her day and when she asks me about mine, I'll tell her I locked you in here. She'll have me back in no time. Until then, don't kill each other because you both know, we know enough people to hide the body." Nicky said with laughter then they heard her walk away.

Piper yelled for her to stop. Alex banged on the door with all her might. Piper heard the frame creak but it stayed firmly locked.

"Fuck you Nichols! I will rip your fuckin' head off..." she screamed and cursed at the door. Piper just shivered and moved to the corner. She felt her hands like they were on fire and wished she still felt the numbing cold. She dropped her head and turned so her back was to Alex while she hit the door. Piper winced and jumped at the violence.

Alex pressed her forehead to the door and whimpered, " Please Nicky, please don't do this to me."

**Seems like a good place to stop. :) I must say your reviews have touched my heart. My life has dictated I write slower. I will write though until my story is told. Y'all have said in the reviews that I update quick. Sorry I got ya used to multiple chapters a day. Please review because as always, your words inspire me! Peace: Faecym***


	67. Chapter 67 I Waited For You

Piper closed her eyes and clenched her jaw tightly. She heard Alex beg Nicky and her heart broke. She wondered at her luck and wished they'd had time to grab her jacket before being locked in the closet. She peered at Alex who slid down to sit on the floor by the door. She tried her cell phone but cursed because there wasn't a signal in the room. Piper swayed but leaned against the far wall. The room was full of boxes with books, brooms, mop bucket and shelves with register tape. Piper wished it had a heating vent so she could stand next to it.

She kept her eyes from Alex. She didn't want to gaze at her with longing. Alex rose and she felt her hand on her back. "I can hear your teeth from the door. Your shirt is soaked," Alex said as she shrugged off her jacket and put it around Piper, covering her up.

"No...I'm fine," she said but she closed her eyes as the warmth of her body transferred over. Alex turned her around and rubbed down Piper's arms. She stiffened but couldn't help but lean in to Alex. She was so cold and wanted so much to be in her arms. Alex mumbled something and pulled her close pressing her body to Piper.

"You are frozen solid. Why didn't you go inside somewhere or come back for your damn coat, Pipes? I waited." Alex admonished as she clutched Piper to her. Piper didn't answer her she just closed her eyes and darted her hands out to clutch to Alex's waist.

"I wasn't thinking, I don't when it comes to you." Piper said into her shoulder. Alex turned her head but stopped herself from kissing her neck. "You sure _YOUR girlfriend_ won't mind you holding me?" Piper asked as she clutched her hands to Alex's back.

"I don't have a girlfriend. What are you talking about Piper?" Alex asked amused.

Piper moved her head back to look Alex in the eye. "Louann, I saw how she was with you. I saw you walking her down the street." Piper explained to Alex. She knew she sounded childish and she just didn't care.

"She is a kid Piper. We were together at Danbury and when I saw her name on the list, just like Taystee I asked for her. She is scared a lot and I'm a friend." Alex explained. Piper rubbed her back more and laughed.

"How funny. I moved to Connecticut to write my book. I was forty miles from Danbury. I even visited there." She said with pain in her voice. "All that time and you were so close..." Piper shook her head and pulled back some but still she clung to Alex.

"What about your girlfriend? The hot one that set up the book signing..." Alex asked Piper with her head down.

"Eva? We went out once. It didn't end well. I ended up at a bar alone." Piper said.

"Tequila? Yeah Nicky and Lorna mentioned they poured you in to a cab." Alex revealed. Piper blushed and looked down.

"So are you divorced?" Alex asked with soft hope in her voice.

Piper froze and then leaned back to look at Alex in the face, " Divorced? I'm not divorced Alex, I've.." Piper began. Alex yanked away from her and growled in frustration.

"I told you, I will not hold another Man's wife. I thought when is saw you with her that you were...that you maybe got a divorce." Alex seethed and Piper could tell she was completely disappointed in herself for not being stronger around her. Piper thought for a moment about what Alex was saying and took a breath.

"Alex, why do you think I am married?" Piper asked softly. Alex looked at her with such loathing that Piper actually stepped backwards as if she were smacked.

"Now who is being cruel Piper? I was surprised really. I coudln't figure out why you didn't just send the damn postcard...I realized you did it that way to be cruel." Alex said to her. Piper looked at her confused and then she remembered that conversation, long ago about how if either of them wanted to stop communicating because it was too hard, they'd send a postcard, with Hello and Goodbye.

"I never sent that postcard because I never wanted to stop communicating with you. I am not now, nor have I ever been married. So, tell me Alex, why do you think I am?" Piper clarified and asked again. Alex looked at her and shook her head. She laughed and pulled out her wallet from her jacket. She opened it and pulled out a faded newspaper clipping.

"I had two or three letters but this one was in your envelope. I opened it first." Alex said as she handed it over. Piper took it and read the headline. There was a picture of Piper and Larry from their friend Monica's wedding. Under it was a wedding announcement stating she had married Larry about four months after she got out of Prison.

"I..this..Alex, I swear to you, I swear on my Godson's life, I left Larry's home right after I got out and I've been alone since. Alex, look at me," Piper said as she moved close to her and looked her in the eyes, staring for moments, "Alex, I waited on you."

Alex crossed her arms across her body and blinked back tears. She took a breath and a sob erupted. She shook her head and put her hand to her mouth.

"Who would do this? It was your envelope, your writing!" Alex fought back desperate and suddenly afraid. Piper gulped and clutched her jacket to her. She knew. She knew as soon as she read the announcement. She and Larry had joked that he'd write his own wedding announcement. Alex started banging on the door. "I have go get away, Damn you Nicky! Please, let me out." Alex pressed her forehead to the door. Piper moved back to give her room to breathe.

"Larry. He was in my apartment one night-before the trial, pissed off and drunk. He probably took one of the envelopes from my desk. Did it have Sissy's name on it? I did send you something but it was returned to me unopened. You didn't even stay for mail call on Monday. You didn't read my personal journals and note that begged you to add me to your list so we could have a chance together. It had my address on it. But you didn't wait. You requested a quiet transfer to Danbury, you told them you were in danger." Piper said her mind filling in the facts. Alex nodded and just kept shaking her head.

Piper closed her eyes and felt the rage roll over her. She was going to make him pay. Alex looked over at her. Piper stared at the far wall and imagined Larry's face as she beat him.

"I was so pissed at you, at Roger for not telling me. I knew I had said no Larry talk...and I knew we couldn't talk freely, but at some point you should have said.." Alex tried to reason, her head still pressed to the door.

"I know. God, I know. I did date him. I tried and I had such guilt Alex. I was messed up for so long and it took me a long while to understand what I felt about him. I left the day he went to Litchfield and from that point on; I've been taking care of myself, working on standing on my own. You..Stopped talking to me. You just disappeared in to a system that terrifies me. "Piper turned away from her. It was all a waste.

"Roger told me he saw you at Christmas. He asked me if I still loved you. I told him I never wanted to talk about you again and if he wanted to keep my friendship, he will not say your name again. I forced him to be silent. But before I said that, he said was you were not happy. That you were trying but you weren't happy. It ate at me. It sunk in to my heart and I called him taking the deal." Alex explained to her. Piper closed her eyes and again pictures of Alex in the boot camp flashed in her mind.

"And here you are. You crawled your way out and made something of yourself. You are Free and helping people." Piper said just loud enough for her to hear. Alex lifted her head.

"And you have written a book and are fighting for every inmate you can. You are Free and helping people...and what did you mean when you said you waited on me?" Alex looked over at Piper as she asked and started to close the small space between them.

Piper shrugged her shoulders. " I tried with Larry but I was a mess. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder was my official diagnosis. We dated but you see there were problems. I wanted you. I wanted you to be safe. So we broke up completely. Then, Steve he was perfect, but ..." Piper continued. Alex reached out and turned her towards her.

"Who is Steve?" Alex asked her as she pressed closer to her. Piper slipped her jacket on so she didn't have to hold it on her shoulders. Piper turned and looked at her.

"I waited on you Vause. That means I haven't been slept with anyone else. Steve is a wonderful man that dated me for awhile. I had accepted by then though that I was in love with you and since I am not a girl in my early twenties anymore, I didn't fuck myself in to feeling better." Piper said with such succinct words. Alex smiled and waited. " He was my gardener and a literature PhD candidate. Fantastic body, sweet soul...wonderful except that he wasn't you."

"I don't know Piper, you mean to tell me you've been alone? The entire time? " Alex moved closer to her and pulled Piper close until their bodies molded together. "Share that jacket, you always forget yours and I have to..." Alex was silenced by Piper's mouth. She kissed her and shivered all over. Alex brought her hands up to Piper's hair, pulling her head to her as she pulled up Piper's shirt. Piper pushed her back some and gasped for breath.

"No, no Alex Vause, are you with anyone else?" Piper said as she pushed her forehead to hers. She didn't ask her if she had been with anyone. Piper didn't want to know about that now. She just wanted to make sure she wasn't making another mistake that caused someone else pain.

"No. I moved her a few months ago and all I do is work. We're trying to open three businesses. I've not been a saint.." Piper put her fingers on Alex's lips.

"Shh...you mean we are standing here, completely free from our prison chains...free from romantic promises, just you and me?" Piper asked Alex, finally lifting her head to look her in the eyes. Alex pushed her glasses up and pulled Piper to her.

Alex whispered on her lips, right before she ravaged her mouth, "Yes kid, we are free." Alex had Piper on the boxes of books and her coat off and half of her shirt before Piper pulled her head back in frustration.

"No..no listen Alex, seriously..I want to do this more than...oh my god I want this so much. But more than anything I don't want to fuck you in a storage room again. Please Alex, take me to a bed, not a bunk, not a cold floor of a chapel...but a bed, your bed." Piper begged her. Alex laughed and nodded.

"I live upstairs. I am renovating it. I have most of it finished." Alex said as she moved to the door before she remembered she was locked inside. "Fuck. I am going to kill Nicky." Alex banged her fist on the door. Piper stood behind her and pressed her body to her, taking her fist in her hand.

"Shh now...just hold me until she comes back. Hold me." Piper pulled her close to her body. Alex turned in her embrace and held Piper close. Alex's body was more taut, more muscular than Piper remembered.

"You feel different. Oh my God, you feel amazing. Fuck Nicky had better hurry." Piper moaned in to her hair and forced her hips to be still."Alex, come to my place for dinner tomorrow. I want to ask you now before...well before we get lost in one another. I'm having people over and cooking. Please?"

Alex turned her head and kissed Piper on her neck, right above her pulse."Of course I'll be there. The store closes at 6 but Taystee can close it." Alex was smiling, Piper couldn't see for sure as she was nuzzling under her chin. She could tell by the way she spoke. They murmured soft words about what they wanted to do to one another while they waited for Nicky to return.

**** It felt really great to write that. I hope you enjoyed, please review. Faecym***


	68. Chapter 68 Fucking Finally

They talked as they held one another. Piper told her she was still mad. She had been crushed when Alex disappeared. Alex listened and shared that if she thought about it too much she'd go insane. She put herself through hell to get released from prison. Piper wanted to trust they would never have a misunderstanding like that again. But more than that, she wanted Alex. Her resolve to actually make love in a bed was quickly fading when finally they heard Lorna's voice from the other side of the door.

"Doesn't matter Nicole...you shouldn't have and apologizing is the classy thing to do. Here...stand back, Alex may throttle you." They heard a key in the door and Alex turned to face it as it opened. She still clutched Piper who wore her jacket, close to her body.

"About time..." Alex stated, but Piper nuzzled under her chin and tightened her grip. Alex exhaled and relaxed immediately.

"See, I told you that you two had lots to talk about. All I ask is you name the first child after me." Nicky said with brash humor. She took a bow and Alex actually growled at her.

"Nicky...we talked about this." Lorna warned in a voice Piper had never heard her use before. Nicky frowned over at her and then sighed.

"I'm sorry. I should have come up with a better way to get you two to talk. I should have remembered how much I didn't like being locked up in a small space." Nicky stated reluctantly. Alex and Piper moved out to stand next to Lorna.

"She was wet and freezing Nicky. She needs to get dry and warm. If she gets sick I swear I'll..." Alex began to threaten Nicky.

"It's alright, I'm not shivering anymore, baby." Piper interrupted. Alex frowned and put her lips to her head. Piper wondered if she'd always be afraid Piper would be sick with fever. She smiled up at her and tried to show Alex she was fine.

"She looks fine to me Vause. I think you managed to warm her up. I'm surprised we didn't have to wait for the moaning to stop before we opened the door." Nicky joked as they all started walking back in to the main part of the store. Nicky turned by a shelf and started up a stairwell that Piper hadn't noticed. There was a landing that had a railing that allowed one to look out over the whole floor. There was a desk there. Piper thought perhaps Alex sat there during her book signing. Nicky however, went up another flight and through a door. Alex paused at the threshold.

"Um, welcome to my place. I'm not done with it. I learned quiet a lot about building things in Texas," she explained. Lorna said that Alex had truly impressed her. Piper walked in and saw an open space with amazing hardwood. On her right, she saw a nice kitchen, with what looked like a handmade rock wall island with natural wooden stools. She looked around the open living room and drank in all the shelves with books. They were colorful and turned this way and that making the far wall interesting. Her furniture was well placed, black leather and expensive. Piper saw a desk in the corner but most of focus was to the bright window that looked out to the buildings across the way. She could see the street below and she felt like she was floating above it. The walls were bare really except for the shelves. Piper missed some of Alex's art but she realized that perhaps Alex had lost it in seizure. She walked inside on to the tile and slipped off her shoes.

Alex looked at her amused. Piper saw in the left corner, saws, paint cans, boards and tarps neatly placed out of the way before what she assumed was a closet.

"You did the shelves, flooring and isle?" she asked Alex. Alex nodded.

"All the doors, closets inside and my bed- I made. I had someone do the plumbing, appliance installation and tile work. I mainly like to work with wood. Who knew?" Alex smirked but Piper could tell she really wanted her to like what she had done. Piper pulled away from her and walked towards the doors in the back of the living room. Lorna sat on the couch with a comfort that told Piper she had been there before. The whole place seemed to radiate Alex. Piper saw a hallway that led back to a laundry area to the right of the doors. She opened one to see a full bath, all lovely gray tile. There was a skylight over the tub and she smiled thinking about looking at the stars.

"Nice tub." Piper commented and looked back to grin at Alex. Alex raised her eyebrows and grinned that smile that is accompanied by her eyes. Piper opened the other door as Nicky asked Alex where she kept her candy. Nicky was in the kitchen digging opening cabinets. Piper opened the door and turned on the light to what she assumed was her bedroom.

It was two levels. The back wall was floor to ceiling windows. Piper could see the lights and trees of Central Park. The walls were painted a light green and had rough hand detailed paneling along the bottom. There were two steps that led to level with the window. It was the same gorgeous hardwood but the rest of the room was plush dark carpet. Her eyes drifted to the bed. Alex said she made the bed. She walked over to the wooden bed. It was on a raised platform and made of thick gnarled cherry wood. The four posts went to the ceiling and attached to the wooden beams that traversed the room. It was all connected, king size and solid. The headboard was branches that intertwined in an intricate pattern. Above the knot work there were more shelves, holding books and a sound system. Alex picked up a few pieces of clothing and walked around the bed, down a small hallway to what Piper assumed was the closet and bathroom. She pulled her eyes from the bed and followed Alex into the bathroom.

Like the other room it was tiled but this one was rich brown. The Shower was encased in a rock wall with a clear glass double door. There were two huge shower heads and a stone bench along one wall and like the other bathroom, it had a sun roof. She was flabbergasted at how amazing it all was. She looked to the left and saw a nice walk in closet. Alex had darted inside and was coming out with a long sleeve Boston Red Sox sweatshirt.

"Is that...?" Piper asked incredulously. It was her old sweatshirt. Alex shrugged and brought it to her nose and smelled.

"It's clean and dry. Here let me help you out of that wet shirt," Alex exclaimed in her sexy voice. Piper took the sweat shirt and moved back in to the bedroom. She took off Alex's jacket and placed it on the bed, then she turned and leaned against the sturdy bed post. She looked at Alex and unbuttoned her shirt slowly. Alex's nostrils flared and she made a moaning sound that literally made Piper's knees weaken. She had wanted to tease her some but found it hard to concentrate while looking at her. She peeled off her shirt and placed it over the railing of the bed.

"I don't think I've ever seen a bed as beautiful as this one. I fucking love that you made it." Piper said with a quiver in her voice that communicated how very much she wanted to be in it. She shivered though as she reached for her sweatshirt. Alex was at her side and she helped her pull the sweatshirt over her body. It smelled like Alex. It was like honey and lavender. She saw spots worn on the sleeves and stains that she didn't recall. She could tell that Alex wore this sweat shirt often.

"Thank you. I wanted a bed made for love and a good night's sleep. I wanted one where I couldn't fall out with a big thick faux feather mattress. I can't wait to show you how wonderful it is...as soon as I throw Nicky and Lorna out on their asses." Alex explained as she headed with purpose to the door.

"They are our precious friends and we will be kind. I have missed so much of what has gone on with them Alex, surely we can wait a little longer as not to be rude." Piper asked her as she hurried to her side and slipped her hand in to Alex's before she reached for the door handle.

Alex looked at their hands together for a long while. She swallowed and pushed her glasses up on her nose more. Piper reached up with her free hand and gently tucked her hair behind one ear. Alex looked up at her with emotion brimming in her eyes. Piper clenched her hand more.

"I don't want to wait for anything anymore. I just want to get lost in you and make you cum until you can't move. They are our precious friends and they will understand." Alex trembled out. Piper nodded and swallowed completely unable to walk. Alex held on tightly to her hand and opened her door coming out. Lorna was pouring some wine. She didn't pour one for Nicky; instead she poured her what looked to be some sparkling water. She stopped beside Alex as it registered that Lorna had poured the wine in hopes of staying and talking. Alex frowned.

Nicky came out of the laundry room saying, "I like the tile work there; I don't know what you were complaining about. He is the same guy doing our bathrooms at the Brooklyn store. Oh I found your candy and snagged some twizzlers. Oh thank you, darling." Nicky took her glass and kissed Lorna. Alex and Piper both took their glass from Lorna. They still held hands tightly. Alex opened her mouth and started to say something.

"I wanted to do a toast. I always imagined we'd stand around in a fancy place and drink a toast once we were all free. I must say it was sooner than expected that we are all here." Lorna started holding up her glass.

"Seemed like forever to me, took Vause here a year and she worked out a mackdaddy deal. Piper did you hear that the officers got 12 years in maximum and Fig got Seven for her corruption. They all turned on each other...gotta love conspiracy convictions. "Piper nodded. She had followed the outcome but it hadn't really fazed her. "Well, I'll drink to the bastards enjoying a nice tight cell with a bad ass lifer that makes them their bitch." Nicky said as she took a swig.

Piper winced. She couldn't wish prison violence on anyone. Even Pornstache. She held up her glass and said, "Here's to the welcoming committee at Litchfield. Thank you, I would have never made it without you. I know I did nothing in time compared to all of you but what I did do, how I walked out of there was with strong help from you, Red, Boo, Taystee...all of them. So yeah here is to Freedom but here is to the ones still there too."

Alex lifted her glass and sipped to her toast. Lorna followed suit and then turned to Nicky and kissed her soundly. Piper smiled. Lorna looked so happy and so in love. Nicky took Lorna's wine out of her hand and put it on the counter beside her glass.

"Okay, it has been real. I will speak to Taystee about opening and closing tomorrow. You two enjoy the rest of your weekend. Remember, lesbian activity is allowed. "she smirked and took Lorna's hand leading her out. Piper started to make the noises of polite disbelief and say 'no no stay' but she laughed instead.

"This doesn't make up for locking me in the room, Partner. I'll get you back Nicky." Alex amused as she walked over towards the door, still holding Piper's hand.

Lorna turned and winked at Piper before saying, "We'll catch up soon. I'm really glad you are here Chapman. She needs you." Alex just smiled at her as she shut the door behind her. Alex reached up and with some skill locked the door behind them with the same hand that held her wine. She turned and sipped more, never once letting go of her hand. Piper looked down and realized that she was afraid to let go. She was afraid that if she let go of Piper, she'd disappear or they'd both fuck it up. Piper had to admit she felt the same way as well and the one thing that kept her grounded, that kept her from floating up and away was her connection to Alex.

"They are really sweet." Piper observed as she drank most of her wine in a gulp. It was good, Pinot Grigio. She didn't have to look at the label to know it was **Tenuta Luisa.****It was her favorite, especially 2008. "This wine is my favorite, how did you know?" She grinned at her and walked towards the bar where the wine bottle rested. **

**"I didn't pick the wine, Lorna did. Well, I did buy the wine and think that you would like it. Then I cursed myself for thinking about you when I buy things. I bought it anyway because I figured I'd drink the whole damn bottle feeling sorry for myself, looking at your picture," she admitted as she drank another swallow of her wine. Piper placed her wine glass down and turned to face Alex. **

**"I would get mad at myself too for thinking about you. I just finally admitted that I was in love with you and that fact couldn't be changed. I tried to move on and not think about you. Impossible. I buy your favorite tequila. I got wasted just last night because when I tried to kiss a woman, when she pulled back, I saw you," Piper softly whispered****.**

**"****So you tried to kiss Eva on your date?" Alex began. Piper nodded and poured more wine with her free hand. **

**"At the end of the date, she invited me up to her place..." Piper explained, "I took off after I saw you. It wasn't my finest moment." Alex nodded and watched Piper sip more of her wine. Piper leaned against the counter and pulled Alex closer by their clutched hands. She leaned in and kissed Alex's neck. **

**Alex put down her wine glass and drew Piper's face up with both hands. "Just see me now," she said as she kissed Piper thoroughly. It was like molten lava ran from Alex's lips throughout Piper's body. She wanted to be naked instantly and pressed against her. She whimpered on her lips and her hands shook so she was afraid she couldn't hold her wine. Alex deftly took her wine from her grasp and put it on the counter beside hers. She pressed in to Piper then, letting Piper feel all of her body. Piper brought both of her hands up and she palmed Alex's breasts, squeezing them before she reached down to lift her sweater. She torn at her clothing as Alex lifted her sweat shirt at the same time. Skin to Skin touch was all they could think about. When they pressed their torsos together and Piper frantically worked at Alex's bra, they both moaned out in pleasure. Alex again with quiet deft ability unhooked Piper's bra and pulled it away from her. Piper finally got her breasts free and she pulled her mouth off of Alex's and lowered her head to kiss each of her breasts. Alex was already working on her pants when Piper held up her hands and pushed them back towards the bedroom door. **

**Again Alex looked amused but let Piper move her to the bedroom. They kissed all the way there and were naked by the time the back of Piper's heels hit the step up to the bed. Alex lifted her then and tossed Piper up and on to the bed. She squealed in delight and Alex laughed as she put her glasses on the bedside table. **

**Her body was different. It was sculpted and so strong now. Piper could see that Alex worked out and by the look of her calves she was a runner. Boot camp had taken an already perfect woman and made her stunningly in shaped. Her baby was ripped. She pounced on Piper which made her squeal again. The laughter died on her lips as Alex sucked in her nipple. One strong hand grasped her other breast and kneaded it like dough. It drove Piper insane. She never touched her other nipple but her teeth nibbled and bit at her right one. Piper's hips rose up and she clutched Alex's head with her hands. She arched her back and looked up as she did. Above her she saw the starry night sky through the skylight. Alex had plenty of windows and open spaces. Piper clutched her head to her and pushed her hips forward to grind against Alex's thigh. **

**"Fuck yes Alex, please..." Piper begged as she pushed her hips more. Alex flicked her nipple with her tongue and still teased her other one with her hand. Piper squirmed and used her nails on Alex's back, pulling her up as she tried to get her mouth to please her in other ways. Alex hissed and shivered from the biting nails. **

**Images of Alex' back with her claw marks on it made Piper nearly come all over her thigh. Piper begged her more and Alex pulled her mouth away from Pipers extended and hard nipple. She then smiled at her as she lowered her head to suck the other one. Piper wiggled and squirmed. She was soaking wet and she thought she would die if Alex didn't touch her. **

**"Fuck me please fuck me...please Alex now, it has been so long ppplleaseee don't make me cum on your thigh...fuck me...hand..in me...now..pleeeasee." she begged as words started to get harder to form. Alex trailed her hand down Piper's stomach causing it to jerk and flip as she delved her fingers into Piper's sex. **

**Alex moaned feeling her wetness. She scissored her fingers inside of Piper, stretching her open with two before trying a third. Piper pumped her hips a needy rhythm. Piper ran her hands over anything she could touch until she couldn't focus anymore. Alex let go of her nipple with a popping noise. Both of her nipples ached and cooled in the air. Piper didn't care as it just added to her need to come immediately. Alex watched her as she lowered her shoulder and started to fuck Piper harder. She was in between a thrust when Piper lost her mind to pleasure. She fell over the border sanity and came screaming out ALEX at the top of her lungs. **

**"Yes Kid...yes as loud as you want, I fucking own the building. Again...uhnnn uhnnn come again..." Alex panted out as she kept pumping Piper with her strong fingers and arm. Piper shivered and came again, crying out with pleasure but no true word formed. Sweat glistened on their bodies as Alex lowered her head and sucked Piper's swollen, distended clitoris in to her lips. Piper tried to squirm away as her lips on her sensitive flesh was too much. She pushed at Alex's head but she held fast to her ministrations. Alex flicked her tongue expertly over her nub until Piper screamed again and squirted out come all in her lover's mouth. Alex swallowed and lapped. **

**Each lick of her tongue made Piper's body twitch. She was putty in her hands and she knew it. Piper's mind was washed with sweet pleasure and she could think of nothing but Alex's touch. Alex sucked in her clit again and sucked hard at it. Piper's head went back and forth as Alex added another finger and used both her mouth and fingers to push Piper towards orgasm again. Her free hand she reached up and pulled at Piper's left nipple hard. She cried out and brought her hands up to Alex's hand. She moved one over to her free nipple and pulled it as well...and Piper came again. She cried and sobbed this time, saying 'Alex, baby...Alex...Alex..." over and over. **

**Alex moved her head up and kissed up Piper's quivering abdomen and then kissed her tormented nipples softly. Piper jerked and came again on her fingers. She was in a state of near continual orgasm. Alex moved her body to the side some but kept her fingers inside of Piper. Piper looked at her with eyes lost to pleasure. She leaned up and reached out to pull Alex's head down to her lips. She kissed her and her tongue darted in and out of her mouth, lapping at her one cum. Alex dropped her shoulder and body some then frantically; fast as she could she pumped Piper's oozing sex again hard. She broke the kiss as Piper's eyes rolled back and she grunted another orgasm. Alex watched and smiled down with such delight watching her every expression. **

**Slowly Alex removed her fingers and brought them up to Piper. She reached up for Alex's wrist and held her hand as she licked each fingers. Alex quaked watching and actually shivered so Piper thought maybe she had come from the sensation. As Piper licked her fingers clean, Alex put her other arm around her and gathered her close. She pressed down on Piper and held her tight as she tried to come back to earth. **

**"You're amazing...you're everything I needed. Why do I always feel so complete with you inside of me?" Piper asked once her mouth was finished with her fingers. She pressed Alex's hand to her heart and snuggled closer to her. **

**"I don't know, Kid. I always feel more like myself when you are screaming my name," she responded. Her voice made Piper shiver again. Alex was more than ready for her turn. Piper started by biting her neck hard. Alex hissed and tensed her body then quaked as she moaned. Piper sucked there as she brought her hands up to Alex's breasts. Her nipples were granite and Piper was thrilled to know that taking her had made Alex so fucking horny. Piper growled and turned her over so she was lying on top of Alex. The bed was so soft and big Piper had no fear of falling out. Her hands stroked Alex with tender delight. Alex arched her back and made the sweetest whining sound as Piper finally pulled her mouth away from her neck and kissed her down her body. She feasted on her breasts and pressed her thigh between Alex's legs.**

**Piper's own sex was still swollen and moving made her jerk and whimper. She groaned and said, "Oh my God," when her thigh touched Alex's soaked, swollen sex. Alex ran her hands in to Piper's hair and moved her head up. She looked down in to her eyes as Piper moved her hand down. She turned her head and kissed her palm as her fingers entered Alex. **

**Alex moaned out, "Oh yes ...oh my god you feel so damn good...please Piper..." The sound of her voice so undone, made Piper shudder out and grind her sopping sex in to Alex's leg. Piper's fingers turned and started to fuck Alex frantically. Piper never left her eyes as she gave her what she begged for over and over. **

**"Let go for me...come for me baby." Piper panted out right as Alex screamed out her name. It was a sound she never thought she'd hear again and Piper felt the tears start to fall as she rode Alex. Her body was arched and moving. Piper stayed with her and never stopped thrusting. She flicked her spot over and over with her fingers. She gave Alex two continual orgasms before Alex whimpered and pulled her up to a loving kiss. They clung to each other as they kissed. **

**Piper murmured against her ear, "This bed is amazing." Alex laughed and hugged her close.**

**"It is now, thank you for helping me christen it. You are amazing and everything I've ever wanted." Alex responded to her. Piper closed her eyes as Alex pulled up the comforter covering them both.**

***** Title was provided by my one. I do hope you enjoyed this chapter. I've had a hard time lately and it was great to focus on their Joy. I will be writing more because you have asked me to continue. I changed some of my original ideas and will continue for a bit more. Please Review and let me know how you feel. Blessed Be, Faecym*****


	69. Chapter 69 So Sexy, So fine, So 69

They fell to sleep in each others arms. Around 3AM Alex woke with a jolt and sat up in the bed. She was shaking all over and Piper was awake instantly.

She said her name first. "Alex," then she moved slowly to sit up beside her, "You are in your home, in bed with me and we're safe. We don't have to sneak back to our bed and no one...no one is going to hurt us." Piper spoke in a soft tone and reached her hands out to circle Alex around the waist. Alex's breathing slowed and she turned to hug Piper tight. Piper made a small comforting noise in the back of her throat and leaned back with Alex.

"I usually just get up and work on making something," Alex whispered once they were settled back. "I nap during the day but never get a full night's rest. I'm sorry, Pipes. I didn't mean to wake you, go back to sleep." Alex kissed her hair as she spoke.

"I would wake up each night, for months after I got out, afraid we had overslept and you needed to go back to your bunk. Or I had nightmares...or both." Piper shared with Alex, stroking her hair as she spoke. She knew if she stroked her hair just right and used a soft tone, Alex would get sleepy. Or at least she used to fall to sleep like that. Sometimes when they were together earlier Alex would be too stressed out from work to sleep, Piper would do this to make her fall to sleep. She wasn't sure it would work now. No amount of petting from Larry had helped her to sleep.

Alex kissed her neck and turned her so she was her little spoon. Piper closed her eyes and stopped stroking her hair. Alex didn't want to sleep. She wanted to chase away her demons by riding passion through the hours of the night. Her hand came over Piper's hip and rested on her mound.

She whispered against Piper's ear, "We lost so much time, Piper my darling girl, I want to hold you as you come again." Alex moved her hips in time with Pipers squirming. Her fingers rubbed Piper's clit in slow sensual circles. Her free arm was under Piper's head and she kissed her neck and whispered in her ear as Piper's hips thrusts against her fingers. Their breathing became pants of need. Piper clutched at Alex's forearm and ran her hand up the clenching muscle.

It was amazing to her, "Oh yeah...right like that...mmm Alex I love your body...Love..oh yeess I'm cumming, I'm cumming!" Piper jerked losing herself as Alex laughed a husky throaty chuckle in her ear.

"Yes you are, announce it to the World. Who made you cum Piper?" Alex asked as she changed her finger position to piston up and down the small swollen nub. Piper's voice keened as her body arched and bowed.

"You...you...oh fuck my Alex..my Alex," Piper turned her head to get lost in Alex's hair. She pulled her talented fingers away from Piper's steaming flesh and brought it up to possessively hold her breast. Piper made a whimpering noise and kissed her neck. They snuggled close and Piper felt so completely protected, satisfied and safe that she thought she was dreaming.

"Am I dreaming? Please don't disappear on me, Alex. Please don't push me away to protect me or stop talking to me. I can't...live through that again," she admitted. Alex whispered she never wanted to leave her side again. Piper turned and used her mouth to show Alex how much she wanted her to stay in her life. Piper kissed down her body and turned so she was lying the opposite way in the bed. Her mouth was lowering on to Alex's sex when her lover grabbed Piper about the hips and moved her body to lie on top of hers. It was a forceful and strong move that made Piper moan on Alex's clit. She was delighted to feel Alex shiver all over. Piper knew what she wanted, she opened her knees and placed them gently down on either side of her head and lowered her own sex to Alex's waiting lips. They used to 69 often in the night when they both wanted to taste. It was one of the few positions Piper was on top back then. She loved it when she could make Alex stop her oral skills and cry out cumming. Sometimes it was a race to see which could make the other cum first. However, tonight Piper set the pace and she licked at Alex's sex with a slow steady tongue.

Alex murmured against her sex, "You taste so good I could cry." Piper's body reacted to her voice, to how it was muffled in her sex...to her sweet words that were so unlike the Alex she once knew. Alex was sucking her sex rather than cry though. Piper was perfectly fine with that. Getting lost in each other was a balm that she craved. They teased and tasted each other for a long while. Finally, Alex gave in to her steady tongue and came. Her body bucked up and Piper held on, pressing her own sex down into Alex's open grunting mouth. Piper followed her orgasm with a tidal wave of her own. She cried out against Alex's clit. Both of them took several minutes to calm their quaking bodies. Piper turned and crawled up Alex's body to kiss her. The sensation of their juices mingling was fantastic. They held each other tightly when they came up for air.

"Try...try to sleep, I'm here now." Piper said and Alex started to cry. Piper didn't tell her it was going to be alright. She just held her more tightly. Eventually Alex fell to sleep with her head against Piper's chest. She closed her eyes once Alex was breathing evenly and drifted to sleep. She dreamed she was in their Hammock and Alex was taking a rare nap in her arms. She could hear the sea, the birds and the soft snore of her love. Piper smiled in her sleep. She could hear Feeling Love by Paula Cole playing from the transistor radio that Alex got by trading a Hole CD. It was perhaps the happiest moment of Piper's life. Her sleep filled mind whispered to her..."until tonight." In her sleep state, Piper clutched Alex closer and murmured her love.

The morning came too soon and Piper stretched in the wide bed. She reached beside her and felt an empty space. Immediately, her eyes opened and she sat up. Where was she? Where was Alex? Piper looked around the bed and noticed blinds had been lowered to dim the light streaming in from the window. She knew it had to be at least 11 AM on Sunday morning.

"Alex? Alex are you in the bathroom?" she said as she got up and stepped down from the bed dais to peer down the small hallway that led to the bathroom. She didn't hear a reply and her heart started to race. What if Alex decided it was a mistake? What if she just got up, got in to a cab and disappeared again. Piper had to reach out and hold herself up with the wall. She shook her head to clear the fear and doubt. She walked in to the bathroom and used it. She came out and saw her. Alex was placing a tray on the sitting area before the large window.

"It was going to be breakfast in bed, but you were up when I came back so..how about breakfast on the chaise lounge?" Alex quipped. "What woke you? I closed the blinds in hope you'd sleep long enough for me to surprise you." She was dressed in a black silk kimono. Alex picked up a remote and pointed it to the window and the blinds slowly retreated up into the top of the pane.

"Your absence woke me. I missed you." Piper was standing before her naked and she felt a bit self conscious. She wondered where her sweat shirt was..not seeing it, she walked over to the bed and reached for her shirt. It was dry now, so she started to put it on. Alex took it from her hand. She grinned and walked over to the dresser.

"Here, wear this please..." she said as she handed her one of her own shirts. It was a long, light blue Oxford with large sculpted cuffs. She had seen Alex wear it before with a pencil skirt and fish nets. She had worn that the night they first made love. Piper slipped it on and Alex pulled her to her by the shirt, then buttoned a few buttons to keep it closed but still show her the parts she liked. Piper bit her lip and closed her eyes slightly, giving Alex that heavy lid look of lust.

Alex squinted and leaned in to her, kissing her soundly. When they pulled apart Piper said, "Good morning. I'm famished." Alex laughed and Piper walked over to their food, holding Alex by the hand. Alex sat first and pulled Piper to sit before her, between her legs.

"I know you used to like omelets so I made you one with onions, peppers and some cheese. Coffee, french vanilla and some fruit. Pretty simple, I was trying to rush," Alex explained.

"It looks delicious. Where is yours?" she said as she started to eat. Alex laughed and said she had her coffee. Piper snickered remembering how O'Neil had told her breakfast was the most important meal of the day. She brought a grape to Alex's lips. "Eat."

Alex smirked but bit the grape fast making Piper giggle and snatch back her fingers. "Be nice and I'll let you have a bite of my omelet...maybe," Piper remarked as she took her first bite. They shared the breakfast, taking turns feeding each other bites from their fingers. They would end up sucking each other's fingers. Alex finally could take no more and pushed Piper back on the lounge.

"Breakfast is over, time for lunch," Alex said in her sexy voice. She then set about tasting Piper. It didn't take long before Piper was coming hard against her talented mouth. She loved her tongue and the care she took to push her over the edge. Alex held her afterwards but Piper wanted to see Alex lose her mind. She brought her hand down to try and find her way into Alex's robe. She squirmed away.

"Nope, you and I are going to shower. Come along my pet, time to get wet!" Alex laughed, bending as if she were going to pick Piper up. It was Piper's turn to squirm away. She knew she'd lose it if Alex actually picked her up and carried her to the bathroom. They'd end up fucking in the hallway, guaranteed. She marveled at how she never minded that Alex called her pet. If Larry even tried she would have knocked his block off. Her stomach turned with acid hate when she thought of him. She pushed him from her mind, not willing to share a moment of her morning with his ghost.

That would have been a crying shame because Alex's shower was orgasmic. The shower heads could do anything and the pressure made Piper want to cry. She had no clue how the older plumbing in her apartment kept her from such ecstasy. Alex explained in technical terms how she had it replaced. Somehow, her woman all domestic and knowledgeable about things like that made Piper terribly horny. She was able to get her hair washed before she knelt down and started to lick at Alex's sex. She pushed her against the wall and lifted her leg. Immediately she was filled with images of the showers at Litchfield. She closed her eyes and pressed her cheek against Her mound for a moment. Alex reached down and caressed Piper's ear, giving her a moment. Piper turned and told herself that she wasn't there now, she was between the thighs of her Alex, free and out in the world. She showed Alex how very much she appreciated that freedom by teasing her nearly to insanity. Each time Alex would get close Piper would pull back and kiss her clit or strokes her asshole with a talented finger. She kept Alex teetering on the edge then she sucked her clit in between her teeth, scraping and sucking hard. Alex clutched the rocks that jutted out from the wall as she came. Piper lapped at the mess she made with wild abandon, then kissed her way up the taut body of her lover until she was face to face with her.

"You're rather good at that, you know that?" Alex whispered. Piper smirked and kissed her again. Piper was thrilled she was so sexy, so fine! She then gently washed Alex and turned off the water, pulling her out onto the plush mat. They dried their hair and got ready for the day. Alex loaned her a toothbrush and everything she needed. She finished first and watched as Piper applied some light makeup. She enjoyed picking through Alex's case. She had different tastes in makeup as Alex really loved the Rockabilly look. Piper really loved that look on her, but still she was able to get ready with ease.

Piper didn't really have clothes to wear, so she put on her pants with Alex's shirt. It didn't look half bad. She came out and without really discussing it, they made their bed and tidied the room. Piper never used to make her bed when she woke. She always did after prison. Alex would wait on the hotel maid to make the bed. She hated housework. They had both changed so much.

She carried the tray in to the kitchen and saw the clock. It was nearly noon. She winced and reached in her pocket for her phone. She needed to call Raven and make sure she had no questions about the groceries. She also had to add another steak to the menu. Piper grinned happily thinking of cooking for Alex. She realized her phone wasn't on her and then she recalled that she left her phone in her jacket.

"Alex, where is my jacket?" Piper asked. Alex was on her laptop at her desk. Piper's heart jumped into her throat as she saw her head pop up. It had been so long since she saw Alex working on her laptop that Piper had a problem swallowing. It was such a simple task but it brought back memories in a flood. Some of them were good, so not so good.

"It is downstairs behind the counter. I just disarmed the alarm, Taystee is outside. I'm not going to work today..."Alex cajoled. Piper held up her hand to stop her.

"You do whatever you need to do. I work. I work a lot Alex. I actually have to leave Wednesday night of this week to do an event in Toronto, so I will have a busy work week getting ahead so I can take a day off. I also work pretty much full time as Vice chairman of the Women's Prison Association. So, um don't worry about me complaining. I'm not a bored 23 year old that just wants all of your attention anymore, " she responded. Alex just looked at her with a stunned expression. Piper left her there, going down the stairs to the bookstore below. She greeted Taystee who was putting her purse behind the counter.

"Good Morning! Um could you hand me my jacket, please Taystee." Piper said with a chipper tone. Taystee looked her up and down but didn't seem too surprised she was there.

"I see someone got them some last night. Bitch, don't be braggin' it ain't lady like." Taystee teased. Piper just grinned more. Her phone was dead and she frowned. She hoped Alex had an iPhone. She blew Taystee a kiss and headed up the stairwell, back to Alex. Alex was putting the dishes in the washer when she returned.

"Do you have a charger for iphone?" Piper asked as she entered the apartment. Alex directed her to her desk. Piper crossed the room and looked for the plug. She saw a picture framed on her desk. It was the one of all the electrical crew by the lake. She picked it up. Her picture was in an album...the one of Alex that Fischer gave her was in her bedside drawer.

"Where did you get this?" Piper asked holding up the frame. Alex turned and looked at it, then lowered her eyes. Piper thought maybe she was a bit embarrassed.

"Nicky. She gave it to me while we were writing and talking on the phone...during the investigation. She was able to buy it from her commissary. It was the only picture I had of you. I kept it, even when I couldn't look at it and I kept it buried in my locker." Alex swallowed as she spoke, like she was trying to swallow the memory of the pain their separation had caused. Piper nodded showing she understood. She then plugged her phone up and walked back in to the kitchen.

"It's really fucked up Alex. I am pissed still but I don't know good holding on to my anger will do me. My therapist would have said I should take the anger and be productive. Fear, anxiety, grief...strong emotions that I need to deal with not push down until I explode." She sat the kitchen island as she spoke. Alex tensed as she spoke.

"Are you still in therapy?" She asked as she turned, wiping her hands on a kitchen towel.

Piper shook her head, "No I left therapy when I moved to Connecticut. I have thought of going back once the book tour ends and things settle down. I'm not sure though. " Alex nodded and bit her lip in a way that told Piper she had more to say but didn't know how to form it.

Piper thought about it a moment then she said causally, "You know, you urged me to get help and you were right. I sleep much better and I have strategies to help me deal with memories that surface and threaten to paralyze me. You want my doctor's number?" she asked. Alex stood taller and stared at her for a few moments.

"Yes." She replied simply. Piper nodded and smiled at her. Alex smiled back.

"You see so much stronger now Pipes. I'm really glad and I'm pissed too...though I am more angry at myself and Larry than you. It was an impossible situation and I made it worse by being a baby and asking you not to talk about Larry. I should have sucked it up and been a true friend first, not a hurt lover," Alex stammered out. Piper slowly nodded. Anger at Larry, she so understood...it was the anger at herself that worried Piper. Anger turned inward was a dangerous thing. She knew. Piper heard her phone go off giving numerous notifications. She laughed and hopped down from the stool to go check. She was halfway across the living room when she remembered.

"Oh shit. Oh shit!" Piper gasped out as she grabbed her phone and saw the entire home screen covered in missed called notifications , texts messages and even tweets.

Alex crossed to her in a hurry, "What? Is everything okay?"

"No. I forgot my best friend and she is going to kill me!" Piper exclaimed as she pressed the call back on her voice mail.

*** Things are looking up and I thank all of you for your prayers and good thoughts. My friend is in recovery and we have every hope he will do great. This was some fluff for you, took me forever to write. Please Review if you want more! Peace, Faecym


	70. Chapter 70 Cops, Cabs and Chaucer

Piper stood with her phone plugged in to the wall and called Polly. She picked up on the first ring, "Piper are you alright? Did you get stranded in the storm?" Polly's voice was so scared Piper felt terrible instantly.

"I'm fine, I totally forgot to call you and I'm sorry." Piper began.

"You better be! I called the damn police Piper. I've been up all night." Polly replied. Piper winced when she said she called the police.

"Hey, I'm fine, no big deal. Listen.." Piper said then she heard a buzz. Alex walked over to a panel by the door and tapped it. "Hold on a second, Polly." Piper said as she listend.

"Yeah Taystee?" Alex asked. Piper realized it must be an intercom system from the store to Alex's apartment.

"Um Boss, the Police is here asking about Chapman." Taystee spoke in a voice that let Piper know immediately that the police were standing there. Alex looked at Piper with a scared pale look.

"You sent them to the bookstore?" Piper asked incredulously.

"No I gave them Raven's number and she told them that was your last appointment and the LAST time you contacted her was a tweet saying you were there. Are you there? Did you get stranded at the bookstore? I'm coming to get you, then I'm going to throttle you..." Polly could be heard scuffling around and Piper pictured her putting on her shoes.

"No! Listen, I'm fine, I'll see you tonight for dinner. Please Polly, no cops until at least 24 hours next time. I love you and I'll see you later." Piper hung up before she could speak

"What you want me to tell 'em? Taystee asked more insistantly.

"Stall." Alex replied, then she let go of the button.

Piper looked at her and frowned as she texted Raven and told her that everything was okay and to add another steak to the shopping list. "Didn't they hear that?" Piper asked.

"No she is on a phone downstairs. Look you can go out the back, through the laundry room there is a door that leads to the back stairwell." Alex started walking that way as Piper put down her phone and walked towards the door.

"Nonsense, Alex. I'll go down and speak to them. It is just a Wellness Check. No report can be filed for at least 24 hours. Polly just panicked because of the snow. She does that more since Finn. I'll be right back." Piper said with a smile as she opened the door. She heard Alex running towards her and felt her arms around her waist as she started to step down the stairs.

"No..no..Piper no, you're a convict and they'll ..." Alex was scared. Piper turned in her arms and kissed her lips.

"I'm an Ex-Con, baby. I'm also a writer, activist and a communications consultant. Come with me." She took Alex by the hand and walked slowly down the stairs. Once on the landing she could see the police standing before Taystee's counter. She was smiling her best smile and showing them her new books display. One officer was a tall man with a domineering attitude that immediately made Piper think of COs. The other was a female officer that seemed to be entertained by Taystee.

She started down the last flight and Alex pulled her to her close. She was tense all over and scared. She wondered if they would ever look at law enforcement the same way again. Piper just smiled at her with soft grace and walked down the last flight. She let go of her hand as she stepped out on to the floor and heard a soft gasp behind her.

"Officers, I'm Piper Chapman. I'm so sorry for the inconvenience. My phone died and my friend panicked." She shook both of their hands as they introduced themselves.

"Officer Denver and I'm Officer Hardy," the female officer answered, " She was afraid that maybe you were stranded. Everything is alright here?" She seemed very friendly and unassuming yet Piper could tell she was checking expressions to make sure Piper was where she wanted to be.

"Oh yes, it is all fine. I'm here with friends. Is there any way we can get you some coffee, my treat, as I feel so bad that you came out to check on me? "Piper turned to see Louann standing behind the coffee bar in the corner of the store. "Louann makes a great Latte." She smiled and gave them her best debutante aura.

"Sure, I'd love some. Denver?" Hardy asked him. He shrugged and she interpreted that as a yes. They walked over to the corner and as they walked by Denver stopped in front of Alex.

"This is the store owner, Ms Vause. She is an old friend."Piper explained. She watched as Alex looked at him. She was tall but Denver was even taller. She set her jaw and looked him in the eye.

He seemed like he was about slug her but he said, "Do you do children's book readings? My three year old loves to listen to people read and she is tired of all my voices." As he spoke, Alex exhaled.

"Yes we do. Taystee will get you a calendar and the info is available on our website as well." She explained. He nodded and walked on to the bar. Hardy ordered for both of them. She got black coffee and he got a sugar free soy latte. Piper's lips twitched to fight a smile when she heard his order. Louann's hands shook some as she made his drink.

"You're Piper Chapman, the author right?" Hardy asked causally.

Piper nodded. "Yes I had a book signing here last night." The female officer removed the lid of her coffee and took a tentative sip.

"I read it. It's good. I'm sure if I were to check everyone here, none of you would be in violation of your parole, right?" She sipped again after she spoke and Piper smiled at her. She was talented at putting people at ease.

"You'd find that both of the employees are working on a Prisoner work program, the owner, like myself is an ex-con that is off probation. Feel free to check if you must but I'm sure you've got other matters to handle in the aftermath of the storm." Piper replied to her in an even voice, looking her straight in the eye.

Hardy nodded and put her lid back on her cup. Denver told Louann the latte was the best he ever had. "You got a talent for that little lady. I hope your probation goes well and you succeed. Come on Hardy, I'll call it in. Have a great Sunday ladies, the streets have been plowed and you'll probably get some business this afternoon," he replied as he turned and walked out of the store. Hardy looked at Piper a bit longer and stepped closer to her rather than walking out.

"Like I said, I loved your book. Would you like to maybe go out sometime? I'd love to talk about prison reform with you...or anything you find interesting." As she spoke, she had a sexy smirk that told Piper she was quiet used to women saying yes.

Piper leaned in some towards her and whispered, "Sorry, I'm taken. Thank you for checking on me, enjoy the coffee." Piper smiled at her and the Officer laughed. She held up her coffee as if in toast and started walking towards the door. Her partner yelled at her to hurry the hell up and she yelled back for him to chill.

Once they were both out, each woman sighed relieved. Taystee looked at her, " I swear Ghosty, only you could bring the PoPo to the door, smooze them and still get asked out. You're the biggest playa I ever saw." Piper laughed and walked over to Alex. She put her arms around her and looked in to her eyes. Alex lifted them and Piper could see a teeming ocean of emotion in them. She stared at her and pressed forward. Alex tightened her grip and drew a slow breath. Piper could tell she had been scared. Alex who used to be able to teach people how to walk through customs with drugs was scared of a local beat cop. That scared Piper. She wondered again what all had happened to her love. They just stared as they do, speaking without words.

"Yoo hoo, Blondie, you going to pay for the coffee?" Louann asked. Piper heard her but wouldn't look away from Alex. She was lost in the emotion of being next to her.

"Shit, girl they could do that for hours. Here let me show you the button Nicky had added to the register for comps. Is a good idea anyway to give the police coffee, they come sooner if someone breaks your window." Taystee reasoned as she walked over to Louann. Alex tore her eyes away from Piper and looked over to her employees.

"You both did great. You okay Louann?" Alex asked concerned. Piper was touched at her show of empathy and jealous at the same time. So she turned and smiled at Louann, but leaned in to Alex's arms rubbing the small of her back. She looked at the girl and knew she was being silly but that girl wanted Alex. It was all over her face. She had seen it so many times at Litchfield and she had memories of Alex that Piper didn't. She had been with her at Danbury...she had been with her when Alex thought Piper had married Larry. It hit every insecurity Piper had and that made her angry.

Louann replied, "He really scared me, he looked just like..."

Alex finished her statement, "Travers. Yeah I know, they coulda been twins." Piper let go of Alex and walked back towards the stairwell. Alex walked over to give Louann a hug and Piper walked up the stairs towards her apartment. She wasn't going to be a clingy, jealous child. She let herself back in to Alex's apartment and got her things. She walked back down and was relieved to see Alex wasn't with Louann behind the counter but she was bent over the front cash register with Taystee.

"I bet we could get it out with some gum on a paperclip," Alex offered. Piper asked them what they could get out. Alex explained that Taystee got startled and dropped the register key in a crevice on the device when the cops walked inside.

"I can get it, I think. Poussey showed me how to adjust paperclips to do about anything, so if I can't fix the key I can jimmy the lock, "she reasoned. Alex assured her they could get another key. Piper got her jacket out from behind the counter and put it on. Alex stopped what she was doing and stared at her.

Piper smiled, "I got to get going. Here," Piper wrote her address down on a notepad behind the counter. "Dinner is at 6 but I'd love it if you could come earlier." Piper offered it to Alex. She took it and looked down.

"Is right now too early?" Alex asked softly. Piper felt her heart jump with joy. She looked down however and walked over to Alex like she was really considering it.

"You're going to need a coat. It's cold out," she responded. Alex smirked and left to go upstairs to get her coat. Taystee yelled with joy as her paperclip got the key out. Piper congratulated her. She turned to look at Louann. She was staring at Piper like she was a viper. Piper just smiled back. Alex wanted to stay with her...Alex didn't want to wait five hours to see Piper again. Alex came downstairs quickly with her coat already on and a set of keys in her hand. She handed them over to Taystee.

"You know the code right?" she said. Taystee looked at her a moment and took the keys. She swallowed and nodded. It hit Piper that even though Nicky had told her that Alex needed her to open and close, she had thought Alex wouldn't trust her in the end. Alex just smiled at her as she handed her the keys. They went over a few things and Alex took Piper's hand.

"I called us a cab," she said as they walked towards the door. Piper waved goodbye to Taystee and told her she'd be seeing her real soon. She smiled back to Louann who glowered back without so much as a wave. It was very cold out but as the officers had said, the streets were plowed and New Yorkers were out and about. Alex opened the door for her to get in to the cab and Piper said a sweet, "Thanks cutie" as she slipped inside. Alex gave him her address and Piper smiled hearing it from her lips.

Ah, the memories of Alex in cabs. The first one that popped to mind was on the way to Alex's old apartment after the Ani DiFranco concert. That had probably been Piper's first time fucking in a cab. Alex gave the guy a 20 dollar tip if he wouldn't move the mirror to watch as she fucked Piper. The memories must have made her smile funny because Alex asked her what she was thinking.

"Oh I was thinking about a certain concert and cab ride," Piper responded honestly. Alex gave her a sexy smile and pulled her in to her arms. Piper closed her eyes and let the reality of the moment wash over her. She was in a cab with Alex. They were going to her apartment for the afternoon. She felt amazing and pushed down her anxiety that someone would go wrong. Everything is always so hard on them that she was afraid to believe. She was scared like Alex was of the cops. But she was scared of letting her anger and resentment over the pain of the last fourteen months ruin whatever future they might have.

They could have a future. Piper inhaled sharply as that statement rang out in her head. Alex kissed her head and lifted her hand to Piper's chin. She turned her face up to look at her and raised her sexy eyebrows asking what was wrong.

"I'm just trying not to be afraid to be hopeful. For so long I pushed thoughts of us from my mind, when they return now, thoughts, hopes...it is scary." Piper whispered. Alex nodded as if she understood.

They rode quietly for awhile, "Maybe we could get some help, if it doesn't get better...maybe the doctor you mentioned can help us..I mean if we want to...you know..." Alex stumbled as she spoke. She tensed and Piper realized she was afraid she had overstepped herself.

"I think that is a fantastic idea. But first maybe you should talk with her. I want to Alex. I want to ...you know." Piper said back to her with a sheepish grin. Alex laughed at their inarticulate banter. Piper had to laugh as well. They were two very well read people but when it came to talking about their relationship they were blithering idiots. They snuggled in the cab all the way to Brooklyn. Piper insisted on paying for it. She walked up the steps to her apartment and opened it up. She was a little nervous to have Alex in her home but it was still a dream come true.

She entered and immediately she heard the insistent yowling of Chaucer. He hadn't been fed since the day before and she felt terrible. "This is Chaucer and he is pissed at me for not feeding him." She explained laughing. Alex reached down and picked him up. The cat shut up instantly and started to purr. Piper was so pleased she grinned like a fool. For some reason, the fact her cat liked Alex was thrilling. Piper opened a can and he wiggled out of Alex's arms to go eat his lunch. Alex laughed and then walked around taking in the room. She walked to her bookshelf first and Piper smiled as she looked over her titles. She put on a pot of coffee and offered to show Alex the rest of the apartment. She walked behind Piper as she darted in to the office/guest room. Alex went to her desk and looked.

"So you started your book here?" she asked as she looked at the picture of Cal and Piper. Alex then saw the envelope with her name on it and picked it up. Piper walked over and took the envelope and clutched it to her chest. No one had touched it since she Polly delivered it to the Connecticut house. Alex's eyes got wide.

"Don't...I..." she couldn't figure out how to say what she needed to say. Alex walked up to her and put her arms around her. Piper relaxed but still clutched the unopened envelope.

"It is addressed to me. Is that the letter you sent asking me to add you to my list?" Alex asked gently as she placed her forehead to Piper's in the sweet way Piper loved. She nodded and swallowed. How could she explain what it was like to think she had read them and still chose to disappear? Piper wasn't sure what would have happened to heart or mind if she had gone on thinking that Alex read those words and chose not to love her back. Now, she was faced with the reality that she could read them. It terrified her. Not only could she still reject her, Piper wasn't sure she could allow it to be opened. Her journals all wrapped up had been a focal point for her. She had used it to think of her past with Alex and remember that she survived it enough to tell about it. Piper swallowed and pulled out of Alex's arms.

"Let's not talk about it now," she whispered as she put the envelope back in its place on her desk. She turned and left the room without waiting for Alex to reply. She was still thinking of the envelope when she showed her the guest bathroom and then in to her room. Alex walked over to her bed and picked up Piper's nightgown. She brought it to her nose and smelled. That gesture made Piper smile and remember how she had smelled Alex's pillow so long ago on the WAC Election Day.

"I like your room. The bed is different than I would have thought you'd like. Rather modern in style, nice...but no posts. I love the light and the view from the window. This is a nice place, you were lucky to get it in this neighborhood." Alex commented.

"It is my Uncle's place. Uncle Winston, I think I read you a couple of his letters while we were in Litchfield. He retired to Boca Raton and I sublease. Well, now I do at first I just lived here. I was rather broke when I got out and left Larry. It was hard to disentangle myself from living with him, joint accounts and the like." Piper rambled for a moment. For some reason, Alex...standing in her bedroom was making her nervous. She mentioned something about the coffee and walked out to the kitchen. Alex chuckled softly but Piper acted like she didn't hear.

She stopped by her office and gathered some paperwork and took it with her to the kitchen. She had to edit four press releases and give them to Raven to fax. She also had to set her meeting schedule for tomorrow. She was going to have to go in to the office to work. She hoped Raven remembered the dry cleaning. Piper found it easier in that moment to focus on her work rather than the jumble of emotions that rose from having Alex there. She poured her a cup and used the remote to turn on some music.

"I have to get these releases ready. Um, I think the remote is on the coffee table or as I know you really don't like TV that much, you are welcome to read whatever you like. This will just take a little while." She smiled as she said it and Alex leaned in and kissed her.

"What was that for?" Piper asked as Alex pulled back and she brought her fingers up to touch her lips. Even that small kiss made her lips tingle.

"You're cute when you try to avoid your emotions. I'll be over here reading while you focus on something other than us for awhile. Don't mind me...and this coffee is amazing," Alex complimented as she turned to walk over to Piper's shelves by the fireplace.

Piper smirked and bent her head to focus on her work. It took some effort but she was able to work through the papers at a good pace. She made three adjustments using notes on her phone. Again, she plugged it in and used it deftly. She had to make a call to Jennifer who was the author of two of the releases. She was a junior consultant working under Piper. She apologized for calling on the weekend, but as she knew Jennifer had been expecting her call. Piper asked her if she could rewrite the three points in to a bulleted statement. She told her Raven would make it look wonderful. Jennifer was fine with the adjustments and gave Piper the latest figures from the Charitable Fund. Once she was off the phone she looked up to check on Alex. Alex was sitting in her favorite armchair. Her feet were dangling over the side and she was reading a book. Piper smiled at the vision and went back to work. She didn't see Alex dart her eyes back to watch her work or Chaucer jump up in to her lap to snuggle.

Piper worked for about an hour and finished up the tasks. Her coffee had grown cold so she stuck it in the microwave. Once upon a time, she'd poured it out. A year in prison had really made her appreciate the value of a good cup of coffee. She walked over to Alex who looked up at her with sleepy eyes that matched her cat's expression. He purred more as Piper got near and hopped down to rub against her legs. Piper bent down and petted him, then stood back up and smiled down.

"Mmm you look comfy. I'm all done, want to snuggle on the couch?" Piper offered. Alex closed her book and put it beside her in the chair, then swung her legs over to stand up. She pulled Piper closer and looked down at her with a cute, know-it-all smirk.

"I think you are fucking sexy when you work. How about we "snuggle" in the bedroom instead? How was it you put it in the storage room? _'Please Piper, take me to a bed, not a bunk, not a cold floor of a chapel...but a bed, your bed_.' Yeah that is it," Alex finished. Piper laughed and kissed her biting her bottom lip as she did. Alex growled that sexy growl that made Piper want to swoon. She broke away from the kiss and took Alex by the hand and led her to her bedroom to do just want the lady asked.

*** My friend is hanging in there, thank you for your kind thoughts-keep them coming. I wrote a long chapter because I will be traveling to visit him tomorrow (2 hrs away). Please savor it. I imagined the apartment and didn't follow a picture, although I got the idea for the rock shower from a picture on my tumblr :) The bookstore is in Manhattan, Upper East Side. I found one I liked there and pretended it went out of business so Nicky and Alex bought it. Alex's apartment is the floor above it. There may be other floors but they are not mentioned in my universe. Yes I did purposely do a 69 scene in chapter 69-I know it is cheesy but I couldn't refuse. I didn't plan it because well I had no earthly idea I would write this much. My friend Elfen made a cover for my story and put it in a word document. WOWSER it is so much. You guys really inspire me! As always, please review. Blessings, Faecym***


	71. Chapter 71 Cunnilingus Interuptus

Alex undressed Piper slowly. Piper took Alex's shirt form her and laid it carefully on her dresser. She blushed when Alex smirked at her for being sappy. Piper didn't care. She unbuttoned Alex's shirt and kissed down her neck. She was rewarded with a soft moan erupting from Alex's mouth. Soon they stood before each other naked. Piper had felt two small scars on Alex's side as they made love the night before and in the shower that morning. She wanted to ask where they came from but she also didn't want to push Alex to remember anything that may ruin their moment together. So she knelt down and kissed each scar softly and nuzzled it with her cheek.

"Barbed wire on the obstacle course...I fell and landed on it. Still finished under my last time though, surprised those motherfuckers." She bragged, running her hand through Piper's hair. Piper looked up at her and Alex searched her face with curious eyes. She was waiting on Piper to probe her further, to nose in to her business and demand more of the story. Piper's heart clenched when she spoke. All she could think of is that Alex continued to run through mud and muck while bleeding. It made her want to beat the faces of anonymous officers at the Boot Camp. It made her want to rage on them like she did Pensatucky.

She smiled up to her instead and rose, pulling Alex to her bed. She took off her glasses and placed them on her beside table. She turned pushing Alex to lie down on her back and then Piper climbed on to the bed, placing her knees beside Alex's head. Alex adjusted her shoulders and Piper lowered herself down before Alex's mouth. Piper loved this position because she could look down and watch as she was licked. It was new to them as Alex usually was on top. She was smiling up at Piper, looking at her like she had never seen her before.

"I like this way...please me Alex...please," Piper asked in a voice so thick with need she didn't recognize it as her own. Alex lifted her head and licked Piper with a flat hot tongue. Piper made a squealing noise that made Alex chuckle. Piper reached down with one hand to take Alex by the hair and push her head up. Her other hand reached behind her to tease and flick Alex's nipple. Alex returned the favor by clenching one of her ass cheeks with one hand and reaching the other up to squeeze Piper's pert breast. She then started to delve with her talented tongue and Piper grunted out with please, looking down to watch Alex lap. Her eyes were closed and her look of pleasure was beautiful Piper nearly sobbed. Her baby had been through so much to be here beneath her. Piper hoped there was enough time for them, enough love for them so she could show her how much she cared.

"Oh Fuck Alex...fuck you're so god damn beautiful...yyess ohhh fuck I'm cummingggg..FFCCUUKKK," Piper screamed out as she tumbled over the edge. Alex used both of her hand on Piper's back to hold her in place as she flicked tongue on her nub. Piper's eyes were closed now and her back arched. She shuddered all over letting her strong woman hold her in place.

"Piper? Are you okay? OH MY GOD!" Piper heard Raven exclaim. She shuddered out her orgasm still unable to stop but she turned her head to see her assistant standing in the doorway of her room holding her dry cleaning. She then felt herself lifted up and over. Alex was up and covering Piper's body with her own.

"Get the fuck out of here!" She growled out. Raven dropped the dry cleaning and turned to run. Alex pulled up the blanket from the edge of the bed and tucked it around Piper.

Piper was trying to talk but her heart wouldn't let her as it was lodge in her throat. She was mortified and still her body quaked from her orgasm. Alex was furious and reached down for her jeans. Piper sat up and reached for her, putting her arm around her waist to hold her down on the bed.

"That's Raven, she's my..." Piper began.

"Girlfriend? She obviously has a key. I don't care Piper, I'm going to toss her out on her ass, things are diff-" Alex fumed as she tried to put on her pants. Piper made calming noises and took Alex by her face, a hand on each cheek, she used her thumb to wipe her own fluid from her lips.

"She is my assistant. She has a key because she takes care of this place while I travel. She was bringing me my dry cleaning and groceries. I..totally forgot she was coming today at 2PM. I'm sorry...I've been distracted having the best sex of my life." Piper joked. Alex looked at her for a moment and then blushed some letting her pants fall out of her hand. Her fists were clenched and she slowly let her hands relax.

Alex looked back up at her and said, "You have an assistant? She has a key to your place...of course you do. Do you have a maid too I should know about? I mean I would hate to scar another of your employees with visions of you cumming on my face." She reached for her glasses and turned away as she said it.

"Um no, I do my own housework...though Raven does help out if I'm really busy. Mainly though she helps with my consultant work while I'm on the road and takes care of my place. I have to go talk to her...oh and.." Piper got up and went to her dresser. She opened a wooden box and got out a key. She walked over and placed it on the bed beside Alex. She shrugged to show it was no big deal but said, "Now you have a key to my place." Piper grabbed her robe from the back of her closet and left Alex sitting on her bed looking at the key.

Piper tied her robe as she headed down the hallway. She hoped that key would be in Alex's jeans when she returned. She walked in to the kitchen and saw Raven putting up groceries.

"Should I leave? Is she pissed? I'm so sorry, I thought you were with Polly." Raven rambled on some and she was bright red with embarrassment. Piper had to fight a smile. She was mortified that Raven saw her in the middle of an amazing orgasm but more than that, she could realize it was much worse for Raven. Piper walked over and stopped Raven from putting her soy milk in the fridge. She took both of her hands in hers and started to explain. Alex came around the corner and walked over to sit at the kitchen bar.

Piper looked back at her and smiled, "I'm sorry Raven, I should have realized the time. I did some work and then..." Piper waved her hand in Alex's directions as if to say "she happened".

"No no, I should have knocked, it is all my fault Piper and um..I'm sorry Miss." Raven said towards Alex. Alex just waved her hand dismissing it. She now had a very amused look on her face. Piper squinted a warning at her to be nice.

"Alex got protective in there, she didn't mean to yell at you like that. Did you?" she asked Alex, squinting again in warning.

"Oh I did. And, Raven is it? From now on, call before you come inside the apartment unless you know for certain neither of us is here." Alex said with a tone Piper had heard her use with her drug mules. She scrunched up her mouth at the audacity of Alex bossing her employees around. Yet Piper had to admit she liked it. Alex said "neither of us is here" which to her meant that key was in her pocket.

"Yes that would be a good practice." Piper agreed.

"I'm sorry, really you've never had ...I mean since I've worked with you I've only seen you go out with Eva, Friday. Uh you know...um so...um sorry. And yes it is Raven. You are Alex...wait...Alex Vause 3033-6621, Alex Vause?" Raven asked curiously. Piper winced as she used Alex's prison number. She was hit again how alien that was to people. Raven had never been reduced to being just a number in a system created to punish, degrade and abuse you.

Alex sat up more straight and glared at Piper. "Yes, I'm Alex Vause, that fucking number was my Litchfield prisoner number, how the fuck did you know that?" She answered and glared at her with her scariest expression. Piper raised her hands and moved closer to Raven.

"Whoa..." She started.

Raven gulped and then answered, "It is on her envelope. You are the person she wrote to, the package that got returned. Um, I clean her desk and see it daily. I don't touch it but I see it..." she rambled on and Piper just patted her shoulder to get her quiet. Alex looked down and bit her lip.

"Sorry. Really, I'm much friendlier than I appear right now. Yes, though that is me, I never..." Alex swallowed and reached up to adjust her glasses in the way that always made Piper think of her as a small bullied girl, "got that package. I had been transferred to Danbury by the time it arrived." Alex ventured a look at Piper and she hoped she didn't see the flash of pain that crossed her face. The fury rose with the pain and she took a deep breath. She couldn't focus on how she was going to hurt Larry; she had more important things to discuss.

"Okay, so now we know each other and um we have new boundaries. I know this is all new Raven; it has just been Chaucer and me. Thank you for getting my dry cleaning! I finished my work, aren't you proud? I already spoke to Jennifer so maybe you could redo these and fax them off. I'll be in the office tomorrow and the apartment will be free." She looked over to Alex.

"The bookstore opens at 10; I should probably be gone by eight. I am staying the night right?" She asked causally. Piper smiled and nodded.

"So you can come by anytime after 8:30 to be safe. Get with Eva to arrange the Toronto itinerary. Oh um..." Piper turned to Alex who was watching her with the strangest expression on her face. It was like the one she wore earlier in bed, she looked at Piper like she was just seeing her. Piper guessed maybe she was seeing her for the first time. When they were together, Piper was a kid and a waitress...then she was basically a bored housewife.

"Alex is your passport up to date?" She asked her. Alex was startled by the question but smiled as she nodded. "Okay um great, would you like to go with me to Toronto? We'd leave Wednesday night and be back Saturday mid-day. I have a conference with women writers and a reading before a conference of American and Canadian Parole officers." Piper tried to explain. She just wanted Alex to go with her because she was afraid to leave her. It was silly and juvenile but Piper wanted Alex to be with her.

"Oh I think you have a banquet as well on Thursday night. I got your new black dress cleaned as well." Raven offered as she went back to putting up Piper's groceries. Piper just nodded and looked at Alex.

Nervously she continued, "I will be working a lot until Wednesday night so I won't be free much. I know you have your stores.." Piper realized it was stupid to think she could just up and leave.

"Okay. Lorna will fill in for me in the mornings before her classes and Nicky will help. The Brooklyn store is still under construction and the other two are up. York Avenue is the only one we personally manage and I just haven't got around to hiring one yet. I haven't been to Toronto, will be have time to see some sights in the freezing Canadian winter?" Alex drawled with a grin. Piper beamed her happiness and ran around the bar to hug Alex. She laughed and hugged her tight. Alex was going to go with her!

"Okay, Raven please book another seat and upgrade my suite. Ask for one with a view of something please, she isn't kidding, she will go see the sights no matter the weather." Piper laughed. Alex reached over and pulled her robe together more and tightened her belt. Piper bit her lip at the gesture. Possessive Alex was a new persona to her.

"No problem. I'll use your travel account and make sure it is marked so your publisher isn't billed. You have one signing at a bookstore on Friday morning, but it is just two hours. The new soft cover will be released there tomorrow. Do you want me to arrange for the copies to be sent to prisons around the area? Not sure of their..." Raven went on speaking of work. Piper just smiled at Alex and kissed her softly.

"Send them to the Prisoner Book Foundation and send the numbers to my publisher so they can be deducted. I had better go change before my woman wraps me up in a cooking apron." Piper teased. Alex laughed and swatted her ass as she walked off.

She heard Alex repeat in a soft whisper, "My woman," and it made Piper smile. She washed up some in the bathroom. She put Alex's shirt back on but changed to a pair of black jeans. Chaucer was on the bed, curled in to a ball. She shooed him off and remade the bed. She couldn't help but smile remembering what they had done. She wondered if they had time to do it again before her guests arrived and she had to start cooking. Piper rolled her eyes at herself. She was becoming a sex fiend.

When she walked back down the hall she stopped hearing a conversation. "I understand. Eva works with Piper but until recently it was just all work. Her tour is about over and after that they won't work together. I'm not sure I'll have a job when she finishes. "Raven explained. Piper wondered if Alex had taken this opportunity to grill her about Eva.

"I just...I really don't want anything or anyone to upset her. We can't...we have to protect this as much as possible. I don't want Piper to lose anything because I fucked up our chance a year ago." Alex spoke with such sincerity that Piper actually reached up to clutch her chest. She walked around the corner and over to her.

"You didn't fuck it up. We both did with more than enough help for my asshole ex-fiancé. You thought I wanted out and I thought you stopped..." Piper just swallowed and shook her head. She fought off tears and smiled at Alex instead. She looked over her shoulder and saw Raven staring at her with her mouth open. "What?" she asked, reaching up to see if she had anything on her mouth?

"It's just...I've never seen you like this." Raven stammered.

Piper looked at her with her expressive eyes all wide, "Like What?"

"Vibrant, your eyes are glowing and I've seen you smile more since we started talking than I have since I met you." Raven whispered as if perhaps what she was saying would offend. Piper smiled again and looked at Alex. She was giving Piper one of her completely open smiles that always made Piper's stomach wobble.

"Oh, you've just never seen me with my Alex," she explained back. Alex bit her lip and Piper leaned in to kiss her. They both laughed and Piper realized they were being a bit mushy. She straightened up and moved to wash her hands again in the sink.

"Were you able to find the right beef? I hold little hope that Neri will actually eat the steak, but I have plenty of veggies to compensate." Piper changed the subject to one less embarrassing as she looked over the wrapped filets Raven chose. She told her she did find the grain fed organic beef at Whole Foods and she complained at the price. Piper nodded agreeing but Neri was weird about her food and processed items would not only be-not eaten, it would earn her a lecture. Alex sat and watched as Piper started to wash the broccoli and went over the list with Raven.

"What can I do to help?" she asked. Piper smiled over. Cooking together wasn't something they had really done before. They ate out or Alex would cook for them. She couldn't help but smile.

"You could break this broccoli up for my broccoli slaw and then chop some vegetables for the big ass salad I'm making," Piper said as she placed it in a strainer and Raven put the cutting board on the counter before Alex. She thanked her politely.

"I'm going to get to work on those releases. You want last check?" Raven asked as she walked out of the kitchen.

"No you know what I want. Just call Jennifer and talk her through what you did. Oh the new numbers are on this list.." Piper switched from cooking to work quickly and showed her the new numbers. They spoke about the need for another fundraiser but Piper wasn't sure if they should this close to the big auction. Raven took the papers and excused herself to Piper's office. Alex smiled at her and she just smiled back then went to prepare the herb rub for the steaks.

"I missed cooking but I ate out like crazy when I got back to Vermont. I gained five pounds." Alex said as she started to chop a carrot.

"You can't tell it now. You are in fantastic shape. Maybe you would like to go running with me in the morning in the park?" Piper asked. She looked up from her herbs and Alex was looking at her.

"Sure. I can't say I enjoy it as much as you do but I do it now solely to work off...steam," she shared. Piper nodded completely understanding. Running had saved her more than once when she couldn't handle the shit life threw at her. They prepped for the dinner. Piper had it all ready to be mixed and the steaks to go on her stove top grill. There were seven steaks. Alex finally asked Piper exactly who would be at the dinner.

"Let me see, Finn will be there. He is always first on my list. His parents have to be because they frown upon me kidnapping him...Cal and Neri, his wife...my mom and us." Piper said, counting in her head again. She had got Finn some of his favorite Mac-n-cheese with the veggie hot dogs Polly will allow. He hated green things but she was pretty sure she could get him to eat his broccoli.

"What?" Alex asked her going suddenly pale. "Piper...you didn't mention your family was going to be here." Piper looked up all innocent.

"I didn't? Oh yes well just Mom and Cal...and I guess Neri qualifies as family now. You'll get to meet Pete. He is very funny and don't worry he doesn't talk to Larry much now. "Piper explained. Alex stood up and walked around the counter.

"Piper, I...can't meet your mother now. What...I..." Alex just looked at her with big scared eyes. Piper couldn't help but laugh.

"Why not? She knows about us. I told you that. Everyone will be surprised you're here but its best to just get it all out. Then mom will call Dad and Polly will tell the rest of my friends. I figured we could maybe see Roger together...unless you aren't..I mean...oh." Piper stumbled through her last words as fear set in to her chest. Fuck. Maybe she had totally jumped the gun and Alex wasn't ready to be her girlfriend. But she can be a friend at her dinner party surely. Piper looked down and turned away. She didn't want her tangled emotions to be read on her face.

"Oh? No..no Oh..I mean...Piper you never wanted them to know me. You were quiet clear I wasn't good enough to..." Piper turned around fast reached up to hold her head again in her hands.

"No. You are more than good enough. Baby...you were a drug smuggler. I couldn't risk my family. Now they know everything. They even know about our being together in Litchfield and talking when I got out. I told my mom about the trial after the fact. They stopped asking me if I spoke to you some time ago but they all know I'm hung up on you. She hasn't even tried to set me up with some nice rich boy from her club. That is saying a lot. Please Baby, please if anything my family wasn't good enough to know you." Piper said as she started to cry. She had been so scared to meet Alex's mother. She had been amazing though and took Piper under her arm immediately and asked her about what she liked to eat. She had fussed over her pretty hair and got on to Alex for not opening the car door for her. She was warm and open. She was the genesis of every open and loving thing in Alex that she adored. Piper was afraid her mother will be the WASPY entitled woman she always was and make Alex question why she was with Piper. She was afraid but she didn't want to only share parts of her life with Alex.

"Piper I got you sent to prison." Alex said quietly and she wiped her tears.

"And you saved my life. You stood up to drug dealing, abusive bullies so I could go home. You're a hero,' Piper did admit, "though Cal may have some issues with you over disappearing...and my mom doesn't know you named me. I figured we'd just tell them all what happened once maybe before we eat and then it will be done. We get it over and then we can focus on getting to know each other." Piper was scared now that Alex would walk out. She clutched to her arms and tried to swallow down her nerves.

Alex shook her head and pushed her hair out of her eyes, "Oh kid, I'm no hero. I nearly got the one person I can't live without killed. I got you assaulted, starved and terrorized. I started that shit with Pensatucky so I nearly got you killed. It was my fault you live with what you did," Alex admitted. Piper could see then how it was so easy for Alex to believe she had wanted to stop communicating and be with Larry only.

"I got myself in prison. Yes you told on me but like you said, others probably would have and I'm glad you benefitted from it at least. Look at us, here we are free. "Piper pointed out to her. It was a little over three years and seven months since Piper first saw Alex at Litchfield. So much of that time they had spent apart. Piper didn't want more time apart.

"So you'll stay for dinner and the night. It's settled. I was thinking we could take turns staying at each other's place. I will pack a bag and you can take it with you tomorrow. I'll be there after work." Piper said, totally changing the subject. Alex just laughed. "Is that alright? Unless you want to you know, have a night to yourself...or not stay here tonight?" Alex kissed Piper.

"Can we send your assistant out to get me a toothbrush?" Alex asked. Piper laughed and hugged her. She was going to stay and she hadn't said NO to alternating nights. This might just work.

*** thanks for your patience about not posting yesterday- it was a good day and I got to see my friend. I hope you like how I am progressing with the story. It is the same one I planned but just fleshed out more to make more chapters. As always, if you'd like another chapter, please review! Peace, FaeCym***


	72. Chapter 72 Family Dinner

Raven did go fetch her some toiletries. Piper put them in her bathroom and nearly skipped back in to the living room riding the joy that small task gave her. Piper didn't dress up for dinner. It was just informal. She sat on the couch with Alex and enjoyed her arms. She put her legs over her lap and snuggled with her. Alex was warm and the chill of the Winter seemed so far away.

"I was lucky. I went through the Winter boot camp and don't think I would have made it if I'd had to deal with the Summer heat. I know with your work with prison reform you are aware of this program. It was the worst two months of my life, barring the time you were in the hospital and I was in the SHU. "Alex shared. Piper just listened as she talked.

She continued, "At the Boot Camp, I was attacked as well, my own personal Henton. I fought back and thought I was going to be sent to Maximum in California but there was a CO there that believed me. I had proven myself to him and he had made me squad leader. I wasn't raped though he came pretty damn close. I had made him look bad apparently and his idea of revenge was to make me his slut." Alex's voice grew hard and cold. Piper closed her blue eyes and tried to keep her breath even. She felt her rage rising up again and made a valiant effort to keep her body calm.

"You seem to be alright with intimacy. Did they get you any help?" Piper asked softly. Alex snorted.

"They bandaged me up and let me out of PT for two days. I did speak to someone when I got to house arrest in Vermont. We had to go to a group session. Parts of that program really helped me." Alex admitted. Piper kissed her neck and whispered that she was so happy that Alex made it.

"When I got to Danbury, I was set to work in the woodshop. We would make building repairs and help the construction group. The officer in charge was Officer Pringles and he was very patient. He let me spend extra time working with wood once he saw how it calmed me. In Texas, my community service was with Habitat for Humanity." Piper nodded. She knew the second phase of the boot camp was community service near the camp. If you proved to be trustworthy then you were allowed to return home for the last phase of the program...more service, work and house arrest.

"You returned to Vermont for the last part?" Piper asked.

"Yeah. My service was at a methadone clinic. My job was with a construction crew. While Nicky was overseeing our stores opening in New York, I was a carpenter in Bristol busting my ass to prove I could do the work. They seized my house so I had to rent a room at a boarding house. I had to be on the premises from 6PM to 6AM. I smashed my thumb at work and went to the ER one day. I was checking out at 6:15 and was arrested on the curb." Alex said with humor in her voice. Piper tensed. She knew how close Alex had come to returning to prison to serve all of her time.

"What happened?" she probed.

"My boss stood up for me and told them he had insisted I go to the doctor and they over reacted. It was straightened out but I had to spend two days in the local jail. It had a cell and was so small. I frequent that place in my dreams still. I wonder why it isn't the SHU or Camp I see each time," Alex looked at her and Piper shrugged softly. She had stopped dreaming about Alex locked in a dryer. But just the month prior she woke up in a hotel room screaming for her. That had been a bad dream about Alex being beaten by Healy. They came much less frequent and it made no sense to her.

She did add, "What I've learned is the dreams are more about the fear behind them than a literal interpretation." Alex nodded.

"I could tell dreams are common from my therapy group. I go to Nicky's NA group here. She is also doing AA because she discovered she used alcohol in place of narcotics. Lorna is so damn proud of her. So am I…she even had dinner with her mother. It was tense but Lorna talked through the whole thing. They came by afterwards. But when Nicky went downstairs for creamer, Lorna shared how hard it was not to knock her mother's fuckin' head off." Alex snorted. Piper laughed because rarely did Lorna lose her cool.

"I have Dr. Speer's card. I'll give it to you later." Piper suggested. Alex smiled at her and leaned over to kiss her softly on the lips then thanked her. Raven came out with her new itinerary. Piper started to move her legs off of Alex but she held her possessively. Raven didn't bat an eye, she just sat in the recliner and went over the work they had to do.

"You will be working late tomorrow right? Do you want me to order food sent to the office for dinner?" Raven asked. Piper shook her head. It was a waste she always left it.

"I don't like you skipping meals Pipes," Alex said as she frowned at her. Piper looked at her and leaned in to kiss her softly. Raven adverted her eyes but Piper could see that she smiled.

"Then I guess you'd better have something prepared for me when I get to your place. Raven, make sure Chaucer is scooped and fed tomorrow please. I will not be coming back here until Tuesday morning. I should be able to work at home. Eva will be here Tuesday at 10 to go over the itinerary and talking points for the book. I teach two workshops on Friday and I only have a brief description of what they want me to cover. Please ask her to get with the education coordinator to give me a better idea. I don't want to wing it." Piper added. Alex set her jaw when she heard Eva's name. Piper just looked at her and raised her eyebrow. Alex squinted at her and it made Piper giggle. Raven laughed at the sound and Piper actually blushed.

"I'm going to head out. I'll be here tomorrow around ten. Enjoy your dinner." Raven rose to leave. Alex apologized again for scaring her. Raven just waved her hand dismissing her and smiled a big smile at Piper. She could tell that the girl was very happy for her.

"It's five, if I know Polly she will be coming early to bitch me out about last night." Piper said. As if on cue, Polly walked in her front door yelling for Piper. Piper rose as Alex chuckled and walked over to the Foyer to meet her best friend.

"Where is Finn?" Piper asked. She was hoping that the presence of her own child would keep Polly from cursing her out for being so thoughtless. Plus, she just wanted to hold him. Polly hugged Piper tightly to her then shook her hard. Her back was to Alex and Polly didn't see her stand up.

" Pete is driving him around the block while we have this talk! I could kill you Piper Chapman! Truly! Look, you don't understand what it is like to be your friend. I love our friendship, I do...but things happen to you that happen to no one else I know. It makes me worry, Pipes. You can't just tell me you are going to come over and not show up!" Polly was livid but Piper could tell she was trying to control herself.

"I'm sorry. I had a good reason." Piper began. Polly snorted and crossed her arms and cocked her hip to wait the good reason. Alex smirked behind her so Piper just pointed at her. Polly turned with an annoyed look on her face. Her jaw dropped. She turned back to look at Piper as if to check she was really seeing her. Polly walked towards Alex tentatively.

"Hi Polly. It's all my fault. She did the signing at my book store, then I let her know I was there...we got locked in a storage room, then we got lost in each other...I should have..." Alex stopped talking when Polly reached her hand hugged her tightly. Alex blinked in surprise then Piper could tell she was emotional. Polly hugged her for a long time and Piper had to swallow her tears.

"I can't believe you're here. I should slap your face for leaving her...no us like that. You almost destroyed her...again." Polly said in to Alex's ear. Alex nodded and hugged the shorter woman tightly.

"It's a long story Polly and we'd like to only tell it once, so if you could please wait until everyone gets here." Piper explained as she walked over and rubbed her best friend's back. Polly pulled away from Alex and used her hands on her arms as if she was checking Alex was alright. She wiped her face and frowned some at her own sentimentality.

"Wow we have come a long way from Super Cunt and Super Bitch," Alex joked. Polly rolled her eyes.

She looked at Alex and replied, "You're still a Super Cunt until I know why you disappeared on Piper and nearly drove her mad." Polly stood her ground looking at Alex. Piper felt again how lucky she was to have Polly in her life. Only Polly had known of Alex since the beginning. Piper put her arms around her and hugged her from behind.

"We'll tell you about it soon. How long does Pete have to drive around?" Piper asked as she let go of her friend and went towards her door. Polly remarked he'd be along soon and told Piper to have some patience. Alex looked at her with a curious expression. Piper didn't have long to wait because the door opened up and in walked little Finn. He was carrying his teddy that Piper bought him. Pete had opened the door and turned to get Finn's bag. It would have enough toys to keep him somewhat busy. He was dressed in khaki's with a button up jacket that was the exact replica of his father's jacket. Piper bit her lip at the adorable picture that was her Godson.

As soon as he saw her he ran the few steps to her and hugged her around her legs. "Pi Pi! Teddy gots a cold." He held up his bear and Piper could see he had a wet nose, most likely from Finn dropping him in the snow.

"Oh that is awful, we will get him some medicine and put him down for a nap. Come here, I want you to meet someone," Piper explained as she reached down to pick him up. He hugged her around the neck and she closed her blue eyes for a moment and let his love wash over her. He always smelled so clean and good. She turned and saw Alex standing in her living room. The late afternoon sun was filtering in and it lit her face. She was looking at Piper with disbelief and Piper could see she had tears forming. Alex turned away a moment and she stopped walking towards her to give her a moment. Pete kissed her cheek and spoke about some Wanker that took his usually spot down the street. Polly called Pete to the kitchen where she was ready to open the wine.

Piper walked on closer to Alex and said to her Godson, "Finn, this is my girl, Alex. She is very special to me, like Teddy is to you," Alex turned around and looked at Piper, then her eyes drifted to Finn. He didn't seem to know what to think about her and hugged Piper's neck. Polly spoke up from the kitchen, reminding him of his manners.

"Hi." He said softly but he put his finger in his mouth. Piper pulled his hand down and looked at him and gave him a reassuring smile.

"Alex, this is my precious angel, Finn," Piper continued with her voice thick with emotion. Alex reached out and pushed back her hair. Piper looked at her and smiled. She had never really seen Alex with children so she didn't know how she felt about them.

"My Pi Pi," he said reminding her of his reaction to Steve months ago. Alex put out her lip some and nodded as if she was agreeing with him. Then she moved next to Piper and put her arm around her.

"Nice to meet you Finn and yes she is your Pi Pi. I hope you'll share though because I need her." Alex explained. He seemed to consider this for a long time, then he reached both of his hands out for Alex. Alex's eyes got wide but she took him from Piper's arms and placed him on her hip like she had seen Piper do. He reached to touch her glasses and inquired with his eyebrow in a look that was so like his mother that Piper fell in love with him all over again.

"Those are my glasses. Want to try them on?" Alex asked as she reached up and took them off. He straightened and held his head stiff so she could up them on him. Piper helped because she had only one hand. He made a face and giggled at the way the room looked through her glasses. Alex laughed then took them off as she said, "We better not wear those too much, might hurt your eyes and Mommy will be angry."

"No Mommy angry at Pi Pi, so Daddy had to drive in circles to yell at the Wankers." Finn said. Some words had his father's accent and it made Piper burst out laughing. She could hear Polly hit Pete from across the room.

"Wanker isn't a nice word, so don't use it," Piper said trying not to show how damn cute he was. Alex laughed anyway and Finn beamed with pride. He saw Chaucer and started to wiggle. Alex bent all the way down and placed him gently on the floor. He was off like a shot and chasing Chaucer down the hallway. Chaucer ran and Piper knew he'd hide under her bed until Finn left. Finn just ran saying " kitty kitty kitty". Polly handed Pete her wine and chased after her rambunctious son.

Piper slipped in to Alex's arms and kissed her softly. "You did great," she said hoping the surprise didn't show too much in her voice.

"You holding him..." Alex swallowed and looked down. Piper lifted her chin and looked at her concerned. Alex continued, "It was the most beautiful thing I've seen in a long while. He adores the very ground you walk on, smart kid." Alex gave her a grin. Piper just smiled at her and they stared into each other's eyes for a few beats. Pete cleared his throat and both of them were surprised to see him standing right beside them.

"Oh, Pete this is..." Piper began.

"The Notorious Alex, damn you're tall. I'm Pete, Polly's better and kinder half. She whispered to me that we will hear the whole story soon. I think of Piper as a sister. She and Polly...they're a pair, " he explained and Piper got the impression he was warning Alex.

"I wouldn't have made it through Piper leaving Litchfield without your wife. Thank you for sharing her time with me," Alex said as she reached out to shake his hand. Pete looked her in the face and shook her hand back. Piper moved back into her arm and kissed her neck.

"MMM, some advantages to you not being my sister, I can enjoy watching you snuggle!" Pete observed in his typical Pete fashion. Piper rolled her eyes at him as the doorbell rang. She felt Alex stiffen in her arms and she suggested she go get herself a glass of wine.

Piper walked over and opened the door for Cal, Neri and her mom. She could tell right off that Cal was already tired of their mother. He had brought some beans he had canned and fixed up for dinner tonight. She kissed his cheek and hugged Neri as they walked inside. She gave him directions to put the beans on the stove. Her mother carried a bottle of wine and gave her a cute kiss on the cheek as she walked in complaining of the weather and New York traffic.

Piper shut the door and took a deep breath before turning to walk in to her home with her family. This was it...Alex was finally going to meet her family. She Cal shook Pete's hand as Polly came around the corner holding his mother's hand. He had been crying and Piper knew she'd popped him a good one for crawling under the bed after Chaucer. He saw her mom and ran to her giving her a hug. She was his Gammy Debbie though they weren't related. She picked him up and told him she had a present for him but he had to eat all of his vegetables to get it. Polly rolled her eyes at the obvious bribery but knew better than complain too much. Alex walked over to stand beside Piper and reached out to take her hand. Her mother turned and looked at them a moment. It was then that Cal noticed her too.

"Mother fuck..." he said. He stared at Alex for a long moment with cold eyes. His mother admonished his vocabulary, then turned to smile at Piper with an expression of confusion.

"Mom, Neri...this is Alex...Alex Vause. My um...love...the love of my life," she explained with the fear seeping in to her voice. Alex squeezed her hand tightly. Her mother just stared for a long while. Cal walked over and stood before them.

"You've got some explaining to do," he said to Alex with what Piper could see was barely controlled anger. Piper reached up and put her free hand on his chest. He looked at her then and searched her eyes. They had the same eyes, the eyes of their mother. Piper tried to show him how very much she wanted this to go well, she tried to show him how happy she was standing there with her. He seemed to understand and he leaned in to kiss her cheek.

"We're going to explain everything, we just wanted everyone here so we didn't have to keep retelling it," she explained to Cal. He nodded and turned to walk back to his wife.

Her mother turned to Pete and asked, "Would you please take Finn in the office and have him draw me a picture of what he wants for Christmas?" She suggested in a smooth voice that automatically set Piper on edge. She knew that voice. She bit her lip and took a deep breath as Pete did exactly what he was told.

Her mother walked over to them and Alex bent down to place her wine on the table by the her favorite chair. Piper started to speak to her but was stunned as her mother smacked Alex across the face. Everyone gasped out in surprise. She jerked and started to move between them but Alex used her hand to move Piper back. She then took off her glasses and turned to offer her mother the other cheek.

"Please, do what you need to do Mrs. Chapman," she said quietly. Piper moved around her and got between them despite what Alex was trying. She put her arms around Alex and held her close. Her mother was breathing hard but Piper just held Alex tightly.

"Please Mama, please don't hurt her. She...please you don't know what we've been through," Piper begged. Alex brought her arms up to hold Piper and she made a soft noise in her throat to calm her. Deborah Chapman took a step back from the two and brought her hand to her mouth. Piper turned, still in Alex's arms and looked at her mother through tear filled eyes. Polly came over and stood beside her, placing a calming hand on Deborah's shoulder.

"Please, Deb...calm down. They've been waiting to tell us why Alex disappeared and what happened..." Deborah held up her hand silencing Polly as she spoke.

"That slap was for giving my 23 year old baby a bag of drug money to carry. A bag that took her away from her life and put her in hell. Now, Piper has told me repeatedly she made that decision herself. I believe that but I also know she only did it because she loved you. Then...then after you two fell back into one another's lives, you left her high and dry. Do you have any idea how hard it was for her to carry on without you? I know what you did for her at Litchfield. I know what you suffered so those officers and that assistant warden wouldn't take it out on my baby. I know that and I'm thankful. Yet it all comes down to the fact she was there in the first place because of you," her said as she looked directly at Alex.

"You're right, Ma'am. It was my fault," Alex started. Piper raised her head to protest and Alex shook her head some and leaned forward to kiss her forehead. "You see, I didn't know how to love. I was a selfish, manipulative bitch. Then I saw Piper again, in Litchfield prison and she was being starved out. I had to try and feed her but she just threw it away because it came from me. We fought and fussed but eventually we ended up together. She then taught me what it meant to be working on yourself. She tried to get me out of a dryer that I got myself in to and tried to take the blame. No one ever did that for me. She felt bad about an inmate that I gas lighted and took blame for that to get her out of Psyche because it was mean what we did. You're daughter is so brave," Alex's voice broke as she spoke. Piper kissed her ear and turned in her arms, making sure her body was between Alex and her mother. She'd not allow her to hit her again, no matter what Alex said.

"After the trial, Alex returned to Litchfield and found she had mail, " Piper began. Her tone was one that said it was time for the story. Cal leaned forward to listen. "It was a newspaper clipping that was in an envelope like the ones I would send her under a fake name. The clipping was a wedding announcment that made it seem like I married Larry months earlier and kept it from her." Piper said. Polly cursed under her breath.

"I don't understand, you didn't marry Larry and not tell me did you?" Deborah asked. Piper shook her head.

"You see Ma'am, we had arranged a signal that we'd send to one another if the way we were communicating was too much or if Piper decided to stop writing me so she could just focus on Larry. I had promised him in a phone call that I'd let her go when she left. I...couldn't do it. We didn't mention him at all after the first few calls and never in our letters. I thought Piper had sent it and it was her way of telling me goodbye. So, I went to the New Warden and told her that I was threatened for being a snitch and asked that I be moved immediately and quietly to another facility. She granted me my wish as it was going to happen anyway. I left that Monday morning, bright and early. I..." Alex swallowed and looked down.

"She didn't get mail on Monday. I had sent her a package that explained how I felt and asked her to put me on her visitation list," Piper finished for her. Pete was standing by the hallway door without Finn. Piper figured he'd left him coloring on the bed.

"The fucking Wanker. I'll break his scrawny ass neck!" Pete said as he started towards the door.

"I'm right behind you," Cal said as he marched over to the door. Neri and Polly both ran over to stop them. Polly got between him and the door and Pete nearly lifted her up and out of her way.

"Boys enough! Yes, Larry is a prick, we can all agree, but we're here to have dinner not go get arrested. I am not bailing either of you out tonight so just let it go," her mother said in a voice that made both of them stop in their tracks. Piper was touched by their concern. Alex actually laughed a little in her ear.

"I'll handle it," Piper said to them. Cal, Pete and Polly looked over at her. Polly frowned in away that let Piper know she was going to have at talk with her soon.

"Piper Elizabeth Chapman, you will not handle it. You will not touch him, neither will you Alex. The last thing either of you need is another run in with the law. Seriously, Piper I can't take another arrest," her mother put her hand on her chest and Piper turned to her. Rarely did she use her middle name so Piper knew she meant business. Piper swallowed and reached out to squeeze her mother's hand.

"Yes Ma'am," Alex replied for the both of them. Deborah nodded and then turned to walk over to the bar.

"I will work on forgiving you Alex because quite frankly, I have never seen my daughter so lost as she was when she lost you again. It...scared me more than prison in some ways because she was here with us but nothing touched her. She went through the motions of life without living it," she explained as Alex nodded her understanding. She then turned to Piper and said, "So Piper, when is dinner going to be ready? I am in need of nourishment after all of this," her mother explained. Piper told her they need only wait for the steaks to grill. Her mom nodded and then excused herself to go find Finn in the other room.

Cal came back in to the kitchen area and looked at where his mother disappeared around the corner. "You know, I think she can't surprise me and then Blamo, she does." Alex laughed and Piper knew it was because they both used the word 'Blamo'. She thinks maybe Cal made it up when they were kids to describe what a fight between their parents felt like.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. So, the stove top grill is all ready, the steaks are seasoned. Neri, it is organic but if you want we have plenty of vegetables. Pete, stop I know how to grill you know," Piper began as she left Alex's arms to go in to the kitchen to stop Pete from putting the steaks on the grill himself. She didn't see Polly hug Alex as she put her glasses back on and watched Piper with a look of pure love.

***More fluff...aren't y'all about fluffed out? :) I hope you enjoyed it though. Finally, Alex is standing in her life and in her family! Please review and let me know how you feel about this slow move in to them being together. I promise I will let y'all know when I am nearing the end. Peace, Faecym


	73. Chapter 73 Ride A Pony

Pete ended up helping with all the steaks. Piper just gave in and put Finn's hotdogs on the stove to cook. Cal helped Neri put an extra leaf in the table while Polly showed Alex where the plates were located.

Pete leaned in to Piper and asked, " You okay?" She nodded at him and looked over to where Alex was listening to Polly talk about Finn's trip to get his shots yesterday. He glanced over to her and back at Piper, "Are you sure? No one has hurt you like she has..." he warned.

Piper didn't even look away from her and she just said, "No one has loved me like she has either." Pete nodded as if he understood. He then asked her how she liked her steak cooked.

"Like mine, medium rare," Piper responded. She showed him the one she wanted to be Alex's steak. She had put extra garlic on it because she likes it. She hoped her taste in steak hadn't changed. She took another bottle of wine over and put it on the table, then brought glasses over as well with a pitcher of ice water. Neri and Cal were arguing about the need for a home. She figured eventually Neri will want Cal to get up off his ass and build a house. He had been selling his sculptures at a steady pace and had a following in Connecticut. A Kerman sculpture was all the rage in your suburban garden. Piper was very proud of him. Alex walked up and put the plates down around the table and looked at the seating.

Piper pointed to the chair to her right. "Your seat," she explained. Alex smiled at her and Piper smiled back. She then went to get Finn's high chair from the office. He would sit on her left with his mom beside him. Piper loved to help him eat. He wouldn't be able to sit in it much longer as he has almost outgrown the chair. She opened the door quietly and watched her mother read Finn a book. It was _The Giving Tree_ and he seemed to be sad that the tree was cut. Her mother was so gentle with him that it made Piper ache for her. Neither of her children had given her the joy of a grandchild. She was thankful that Polly's parents shared Finn with her.

She opened the closet to get the chair and Finn looked up. "Tree gone, Pi Pi, I'm sad." He said with little slumped shoulders. Her mother smiled indulgently at him and rubbed his little shoulders.

"Yes it is a sad book, it makes us see that we must take care of the trees or they will all be one," Piper said as she pulled out his chair.

Finn frowned seeing the chair and said, "I don't want that baby chair." Her crossed his arms and looked at her with an expression that was so Polly when she was pissed off that Piper had a hard time not laughing.

"Well I guess you'll just have to eat at a different table then Finn," her mother said with a sad voice. He frowned and looked at her, putting his small hand on her shoulder.

"Why Gammy Deb?" he asked as he patted her to give comfort. Piper knew he had a heart of gold, just like his mom.

"Well, you have to be at least five years old to eat with the adults...UNLESS you are in a high chair. Are you sure you don't want to sit in your chair and eat with Pi Pi, Mommy, Daddy and me?" she asked in a way that wasn't at all sneaky.

"What about Alex? Can she eat at the other table with me?" he probed. Her mother bit her cheek and Piper knew she was about to say she could go fly a kite for all she cared. But, to give her mother credit she didn't say any of those comments that popped in to her hair.

"She is a grown up, so she eats with us." Deb pointed out the obvious. He thought about it and then rose and walked over with his little blue sweater all wrinkled where she knew he tried to take it off. He put his hands on the chair and looked up at Piper.

"I help, Pi Pi," he said as he walked towards the door, pulling the high chair as he went. She looked to her mother and mouthed 'thank you' for helping her avoid a Finn meltdown. She shrugged and looked at Piper with such longing. She realized her mother believed she'd not have children if she stayed with Alex. They had never discussed a family but maybe someday they would. Right now, she'd just like to get through a family dinner without anyone else hitting Alex.

They set up the table and Piper put the food out. Finn was thrilled to see his macaroni and hotdogs. They all sat down to eat. Piper poured Alex a glass of water. She didn't drink wine while she ate but would enjoy the whole glass once it was done. Piper was a little nervous as Alex took a bite of her steak. She wasn't sure why but it was important to her that Alex like her meal. She smiled and closed her eyes while she chewed.

"Nothing like metallic looking beef tips eh?" Piper asked softly. Alex laughed and agreed.

"But the food was good," she said in the tone that one used not to offend the cook. Piper laughed and agreed. She made sure everyone had what they wanted and was happy to see Neri actually eating the steak. She took a bite of her salad and then reached over to cut up Finn's hotdog. Everyone was laughing as Pete told a story about a guest on one of his radio shows that tried to convince them to let him be naked for the entire interview because he had nerves and it helped. Alex laughed but watched Piper with Finn. Piper sipped her wine and leaned back in her chair and looked down the table. She had forgotten the bread, so she hopped up to go fetch the rolls from the oven. She brought the fresh cream butter and put it by Neri. She had got it for Piper and she wanted to show her she used it.

"Good steak sis," Cal complimented. He took a roll and put it on his plate. She bent and kissed his head affectionately and returned to her seat with the basket. Her mother was daintily cutting her steak and listening to Pete with polite attention. Polly would chime in now and again with a derogatory remark about how Pete had pushed the man to stand his grown for his own amusement. Piper sat back down and put a roll on Alex's plate.

"Okay, now your turn. Please eat, Pipes," Alex said softly. She looked over at her and smiled at Alex.

"I am," she said and she cut a piece of her steak and chewed it with relish. Alex smiled happily as she watched her eat. Piper swallowed and they looked at one another for a long while. The conversation died down at the table but neither of them noticed. Piper reached out and took Alex's left hand and held it. In her eyes she saw herself after she was released. She saw disbelief that she was sitting there, enjoying a meal with new friends. She saw the love this woman had for her and it warmed her soul.

Alex was the first to look away and she looked down the quiet table. Piper followed her gaze and saw each member of her family staring at her with stunned expressions. Piper took another bite of her steak and looked at Polly with an expression that asked, "What?"

Polly shook her head, 'Pipes, I've seen you with Alex...before and you didn't get lost in each other's eyes like that. I mean I think I may need a cold shower." Pete leaned over and whispered something to her and she rolled her eyes right before she smacked his head.

"Pi Pi and Alex are the tree," Finn said then he took a big bite of his macaroni. Piper looked at him with a confused expression. He started to explain but his mouth was full. Polly reminded him again not to talk with his mouth full so he spit out his food much to the disgust of Piper.

Alex laughed and asked him, "How are we like 'the tree', Little man?"

"The tree loved the boy so much he gave him his apples and limbs and trunk for a canoe. You look at each other like the tree loves the boy." He said clearly as if the adults were a bit slow and he had to explain it. Alex frowned not sure.

Piper's throat closed with emotion. She squeezed Alex's hand and looked over to her mother. Her mom cleared her throat and said, "I was reading him _The Giving Tree_ by Shel Silverstein before dinner." Alex's eyebrows shot up and she looked over at Piper. Piper smiled and took a sip of her wine. Polly beamed with well deserved pride. He was a startling beautiful and smart child.

"That is very sweet, darling. Now, I think you should at least try to eat that broccoli. You want to grow strong like the tree." Piper bargained. He made a face and Alex leaned over and whispered he should try dipping it in his macaroni and cheese. He did and then took a bite. He grinned as he liked the taste of the cheese.

"Alex, what is it you do now that you are free? Do you have a job?" Cal asked. Piper frowned at him because he wasn't one to talk. He sounded so much like her father right then she had to bite her tongue to keep from pointing out how ridiculous it was for him to ask anyone about a job!

"I own stock in two management firms and am partners with someone in three bookstores." Alex answered. As she spoke she let go of Piper's hand and tapped her plate. Piper knew she wanted her to eat more before her steak got cold. She wondered if Alex would ever stop worrying about how much she ate. She guessed though if she'd witnessed Alex starved out for five days and then stop eating for two weeks, she'd be worried too. Piper ate her meal and listened with interests and Cal asked for more details.

"I invested in the firms before I was indicted with money from selling my mom's house. They did well. They buy small businesses and run them by outsourcing to manufactures in rural areas or Mexico. I used my profits from those to invest with a friend of mine and we have opened three new Cyber Cafe Bookstores here in New York," as she spoke she looked over at Cal and met his eye. She knew he wanted to make sure that Alex was legit.

"It is all legal, so back off the twenty questions Cal." Piper exclaimed. Cal held up his hands as if to say he was done.

"Why should he Piper? He is your brother and has every right to be worried she will lead you down...that path again," her mother replied with a glance to Finn. Piper squinted her eyes and sat up. She would not have Alex grilled in her home.

"It's is okay, Piper. I knew they'd ask. I would too. It is all legit. I can provide for her, not that I will need to as she is a bestselling author and works on her own. It...amazes me to see her work, I could watch it all day," Alex admitted with a goofy grin. Piper blushed and sipped her wine to cover it.

Polly rolled her eyes, "I think we established you would watch her all day already, ole mighty tree! Piper working is boring. She zones out and you have to repeat yourself ten times to get her attention, "Polly shared. Piper snorted. Polly was talker and it took her forever to get things done with the business. Of course, her soaps and lotions always turned out perfect even as she talked the whole time.

"Speaking of work, how did the new product turned out? Was the quality what you wanted from our name?" Piper asked. Polly started to talk about how they had substituted certain ingredients for products of others and how at first she wasn't happy. Then they did tests on the soaps and it proved to last longer with the new ingredients. She figured the customers would be happy the soaps lasted longer even if the texture was different. Piper asked her to describe different and they got in to a conversation about how different oils made the lye soap feel slippery. Alex gently took Piper's hand and looked at her plate. Piper took more bites as she listened and let Polly talk. She did dart a glance to her mother and saw that she was watching Alex. The meal seemed to be a success. Finn had cheese all over his face and Piper offered to take him to the bathroom to clean up.

"Nah, cleaning up is man's work sometimes, right boy?" Pete said as he rose to go get his son. Finn nodded and held up his arms for his father. Polly reminded Pete that he could put Finn in his PJs that they were in his bag. He said a sarcastic, "yes dear" and carried his son off towards the guest bath. Alex drank her glass of wine once the meal was finished. She listened to Neri explain her compost to Deborah and fought a smile when she just asked why they didn't buy organic at the grocery and be done with it. Piper finished her steak and most of her vegetables.

She rose to start to clear the table and Alex would have none of it. "Cleaning up is your woman's work too." Alex teased. Piper grinned and leaned back in her chair. She watched Alex carry the plates to the kitchen and was happy to see Polly rise to help.

"That was a great meal Piper. I enjoyed your broccoli. She seems to be worried that you don't eat. I recall...how you looked when you had your infection. Is that why she wishes you to finish your meal?" Her mother asked Piper in a clear voice she didn't try to lower or hide.

"Yes, partly. Part of it was we would both not eat when we were torn apart or upset. We suffered being apart while she was in Chicago and...once I was out. But yes mother, I stopped eating after Christmas when we broke up. I thought Alex was with Nicky. I thought I had lost her to someone that could understand her better than I ever could and I was sick, constantly. Eventually, I was sick because if the infection but overall it was bad. She wasn't the only one that watched me though, Nicky, Lorna, Red, Sister Ingalls...they all stepped up to help us remember to eat and take care of our bodies." Piper replied to her. Neri and Cal listened. Cal reached over and put his arm around his wife and pulled her to him.

Her mother nodded, "Well, I am glad you had her and your friends then, my dear. Life is all about having someone to care if you live or die."

Piper felt Alex's hands on her shoulder and she looked up. Alex was looking at her family with she reached up to place her hand over Alex's left hand. Finn came running up in his pajamas and asked Piper to ride him horsey. Piper laughed and turned to the side offering him her leg. He climbed up on her knee.

"Ride a pony, Ride a pony, down to town, hope little Finny don't fall dooooowwwwwnnnnn" she sang out. As she said, down she slid him down her leg to catch on her foot and bounce. He giggled and said "again". He was getting a bit big for this but Piper couldn't refuse. "Ride a pony, Ride a pony down to the river, hope little Finny doesn't start to shiiiivvvvveeeerrrrr, " she sang again and wiggled him all about. Alex laughed at the sight.

"Did you make that up?" She asked. Piper blushed and shrugged.

"Yes and when I try it he says I do it all wrong!" Polly said from the kitchen. Alex laughed again and then bent down to kiss Piper's ear. She returned to the kitchen with a big grin as Piper started to ride the pony again with Finn.

Everyone enjoyed a nice polite conversation for about a half an hour after dinner. Alex and Polly got the kitchen cleaned in no time and Pete cleaned the grill top. Piper just spent all of her time playing with Finn. Her mother sat on the couch and watched her. Piper knew she wanted grandkids and she hoped a night with Finn would ease her ache some. Piper noticed Cal had pulled Alex aside and was talking to her by the door. Alex nodded and looked at him with a guarded, serious look. She didn't like that she couldn't hear what was going on so she tried to stand up and walk over.

Neri put her hand on her shoulder, "If she is going to make it in this family, she has to be able to handle the trifeca of your parents and Cal. Don't worry; I'll help her out if she needs it. I think I might be able to help you in a moment with your mother." Piper looked up at her confused.

"Oh I guess I should tell Cal first but... honey..come here a minute," Neri said. Cal turned and seemed perturbed to be disturbed from his conversation. He walked over and with the tact that he is known for said, "yeah?"

"I'm pregnant." She announced. Everyone froze and looked at Cal. He blinked and stared at her for a long moment.

"You're sure?" he asked in a voice so scared Piper was immediately concerned for him and stood up to walk behind him.

"Yeah, I went to see my doctor when I went in to the City yesterday. I'm about seven weeks along. It must have been that night we stayed out by the waterfall to welcome Fall, "she explained to him. She looked at him not smiling and waited on his reaction.

"I'll be damned. I...procreated. I..am going to be a father. Oh shit, I'm gonna fuck it up." Cal said but he pulled Neri in his arms and hugged her as his mother said " language" at the same time.

Piper grinned because Cal as now laughing. She looked back at Alex and grinned. She was going to be an Aunt. Alex walked over and hugged Piper.

"Congratulations Cal and Neri," she offered. Alex's arms felt so good around her waist that Piper leaned back and closed her eyes. "Congratulations to you too Grandmother Chapman," Alex said. Piper opened her eyes and saw her mother was crying tears of joy. Polly hugged the happy couple and Piper walked out of Alex's arms to hug her mother tight.

"See, it happened...you worried for nothing," Piper said to her softly. Deborah hugged Piper to her and kissed her hair.

"I can't believe it. I never thought he'd have children. I always thought you'd be the one," she said but she let the rest die on her lips. Piper knew that her mother had always thought Piper made a mistake breaking up with Larry completely. She had supported Piper but she had truly thought Piper would get back together with him in the end. Piper hugged her again and they all drank a toast to the happy couple. Finn was getting sleepy so the Harpers left. Piper kissed his head goodbye and he wanted a hug from Alex. She gave it to him and told him she'd see him later. Cal and Neri packed up as well. Cal told her he'd go get the car and Piper couldn't help but smile at how he wanted to carry the pot and her purse. He was going to be a great dad.

Once everyone was gone Piper stayed looking at the door for several moments. It had gone better than she expected but at the same time she was emotionally exhausted. She hoped Alex didn't want to leave now that she had lived through that meal. Piper turned and peered at her. Alex was picking up the living room. Finn could make any room look a mess. Piper affectionately called him " Hurricane Finn". She helped her straighten the living room and braced herself for Alex trying to talk her way out of staying all night. Piper couldn't really blame her. She had been smacked, grilled and lectured.

"So, do you want to take a hot bath before bed or maybe watch a movie? I just want you in my arms all night."Alex said to her. Piper smiled and was relieved almost to tears.

"Oh thank you for handling my family. My father will be a piece of cake but we don't have to worry about him for a week or so, until Thanksgiving!" Piper said excitedly. Alex moaned and pulled Piper in to her arms. Piper had to laugh.

"Bath...definitely a bath, first," she answered as she kissed Alex thoroughly.

***Your reviews are fantastic. You give me such love that it is a joy to write for you. This two chapter meal was very important to me to write. Thank you for supporting my fluffy chapters. Thank you, c3p0, Elfe, ficreadr and Basskid for all your responses to my questions. You amaze me! Please review! Faecym***


	74. Chapter 74 Pillow Talk

They had the most amazing bath. Alex held Piper as they washed and Piper loved every minute. It was so great to fill the tub with hot water and Alex. Piper closed her eyes and felt like she was finally back in her happy place. They didn't make love, though Piper thought they would. They talked about the dinner. Piper apologized again for her family but Alex told her she thought It went rather well. She shared that she felt overwhelmed being included and had to fight the desire to run away in the beginning.

"I thought maybe you would run away after," Piper admitted.

Alex ran the wash cloth up Piper's arm and asked, "Is that why you didn't tell me who was coming to dinner?" Piper nodded. She knew it hadn't really been fair to ambush Alex, but she wanted her to know that she wanted her in her life. ALL of her life and that dinner seemed like the best way to do that. Plus, she had just got Alex back and she wasn't ready to be apart from her at all.

Piper got two phone calls once they were out of the bath. The first was a missed call from her father. He left a message that he wanted to talk to her. She decided he could wait. One was from Eva, to arrange their schedule and see how Piper's book signing went the night before. Piper couldn't believe that she had first seen Alex only twenty four hours earlier.

"Hi Piper, how was the signing?" Eva asked in a bright voice. Piper smiled and tightened her robe. Alex was drying off by her bed. She enjoyed the view of her lover as she clutched her cell phone to hear ear.

"Hi Eva, it was fantastic," Piper said. Alex's head popped up when she heard Eva's name. Piper smiled at her and leaned against her dresser. Alex turned and continued to dry off.

"Great. I liked that place maybe we can go there for some coffee on Tuesday and have our meeting?" Eva suggested. Piper looked over at Alex as she slipped on one of Piper's big Smith College tees. Piper felt her temperature rise. What was it about a woman in her own clothes?

"Um, that will be great as I'm um...Eva, I saw someone after you left. I don't think you realized that I knew the Owners of the bookstore," Piper began as Alex put her arms around her and leaned her body against her. Piper reached out with her free hand and pushed some of her wet hair behind her ear.

"Oh you did? Did you go to college together?" Eva asked, assuming that it would take a Smith Grad to open such a store. Piper smiled and traced Alex's jaw with her fingertip.

"No we were prisoners together at Litchfield. Eva...one of the owners is Alex Vause." Piper stated. As she spoke she looked Alex in the eye and tried to show her how much she loved being there in her arms. Eva was silent for a few moments.

"Your Alex?" she asked and Piper could tell she was controlling her voice. Piper winced. She had been very clear with Eva about her feelings. She loved someone else and that someone was there before her now. She was happy that she and Eva had not progressed their relationship further than one date and one ill fated kiss. If she had, if she'd gone upstairs and slept with Eva this conversation would have been in person and a lot harder.

"Yes Eva, my Alex. We are together now. I'm sorry if this hurts you in any way. You're an amazing woman." Piper said truthfully. Alex kissed her forehead before pressing her own forehead to Piper's in their cute way. Piper pulled her closer with her free hand. She hated confrontations and hoped Eva would be as graceful as she had been yesterday.

There was a pause, "No Piper, you were quiet clear with me the next day. I understand and am really happy for you. Um, do you want me to get your publisher to get you a new publicist for the rest of your tour?" Eva was all business and Piper knew here well enough by now to know she was masking her hurt with professionalism. Piper was very happy that she did.

"No, I want to keep our professional relationship as it is...unless you want a new assignment?" Piper suggested. Alex raised her eyebrows as if that sounded like a good idea to her. Piper frowned at her as she lifted her head and squinted her blue orbs. Alex grinned.

"I'm fine. So, do you want me at your house Tuesday?" She answered. Piper thought it would be good to have the meeting at Book 'Em if it was alright with her.

"I'd rather stay there as I'll be there already. How about 10 AM? I will be working a lot over the next few days to set up Toronto. Oh by the way, Alex will be going with me to Toronto. I will need a specific itinerary with exact times for each function. I want her to be my guest at the banquet but to know exactly when I"ll be available so we can sight see and spend time together." Piper added. She knew it was like pouring salt on Eva's wounded pride but she wasn't going to pretend her life wasn't centered around Alex now. Alex smiled and pulled Piper's legs up so she pressed her sex against Piper's, basically making her sit on the dresser. Piper bit her lip to keep from moaning. She suddenly had a hard time concentrating.

"Oh I see. I assume Raven arranged the travel details. I will work your itinerary down to the minute. I'll see you at Book 'EM, bye," Eva said and she hung up. Piper put her iPhone down and she kissed her lips. Piper felt the heat rise through her body and she pulled at Alex's hair. The music was still playing and Leagues, "Walking Backwards" came on as Alex picked her up and turned around walking to the bed. Piper clung to her and pushed her tongue inside her mouth, claiming it for her own. Alex growled as Piper bit her bottom lip. She pulled her head back and looked at Piper, breathing hard and showing the bright need in her eyes. She pushed Piper off and tossed her on the bed. Piper squealed and Alex jumped on her, tearing her bath robe open so she could kiss down her body.

Lost. She was completely lost in Alex. She knew that she'd never get tired of touching her. Piper squirmed as Alex kissed her mound and lapped at her sex. Alex sucked at her sex with a fervor that told Piper she was so happy that Eva was properly told her place in Piper's life.

Piper pulled Alex up, she looked confused and looked to see if Piper was hurt, "No worries, I choose you Alex," Piper whispered to her. Alex smiled and it turned in to a smirk.

"I'm going to make you cum so hard you will only ever think of me," Alex growled out with her usual swagger. Piper laughed and then Alex delved back in to her wet passion. Piper was squirming and screaming soon after. Alex manipulated her clit with deft ability, Piper screamed her name again and came hard. Alex lapped like a kitten with milk. She kissed Piper's thighs when the sounds she made turned to whimpers when Alex's tongue touched her sensitive clit.

Alex kissed up her body, nuzzling at her belly. She kissed each nipple and Piper shook as she did. She came up beside her and pulled Piper in to her arms. Piper wrapped around her and made another small sound.

"I can't believe this is happening. I keep thinking I'm going to wake up in a cold sweat and it will just be a cruel dream. Oh Piper, when I booked you for the book signing I knew then I'd do whatever I could to have you again. Married or not, hurt pride or not...part of me knew I'd fight to get you back. I don't work without you Pipes. I am not a good person. I know that. I am greedy and power hungry. I still want so much but what I want means nothing if you aren't there." Alex whispered the words in to hear ear. Piper's heart slowly stopped pounding as she floated back in to her reality and the beauty of Alex's words. Piper kissed her softly. She felt more sure of Alex and she guessed that was what she had wanted. Alex pulled up the covers and snuggled Piper.

"Tell me about writing your book. What gave you the idea for writing it?" Alex changed the subject and Piper knew she had to move back from the feelings. Piper told her about how everyone wanted to know about prison. She also spoke about how writing about her experience had helped her through her therapy.

"Why did you leave out...my being a Litchfield and Henton?" Alex asked her softly. Piper kissed her eyelids with feather lightness.

"Silly woman, you're precious to me. I couldn't share that. I shared the facts of our crimes and then focused on my year at Litchfield. I wanted to show how the system is stacked against so many. I wanted to show that each sentence was a story," Piper explained as she snuggled under Alex's chin.

"You did. I um, laughed when I read that you called me "Nora"," Alex said with humor in her voice. Piper snickered.

"I wondered if you'd mention that. Did um...she say anything about it?" Piper asked. She didn't want to sound like she was curious as to whether Alex had spent time with Nora since she got out. But the thought did cross her mind. She had wanted Alex and was willing to wait for her.

"I don't know. I haven't spoken to her since I left Litchfield. Roger knows her and I didn't want to have any connection. When I started talking to him again, we never mentioned her," Alex assured her. Piper smiled. She spoke about her book and how she first did a draft that Polly and Roger read. She couldn't say enough good things about her editor. Piper shared with Alex the painful process of fleshing out the facts with her feelings. She could report the facts but making it her truth took more time. She admitted she'd never been able to do it without her time with Dr. Speer.

"I was alone in Connecticut and it gave me permission to work on my issues without worrying about how it would affect everyone in my life. If I had a bad day, missing you or reliving what it was like to be pissed off and helpless...I could stay in bed and no one cared. I admit there were times I drank too much. Owen, Steve's uncle...he helped...then Steve came over regularly." Piper shared. She had told Alex they didn't sleep together and it was the truth. He did hold her while they watched a movie, cook her dinner and basically be a sounding board for her as she wrote. He was the friend she needed to have.

Alex kissed the top of Piper's head. "I don't like the idea of you alone in that house. I always found comfort in the thought that you had Polly and your family near. I...am still trying to wrap my mind around how close you were to me..." Alex shook her head in disbelief. Yes, Piper had passed by Danbury each time she visited New York. She had visited there once on her tour and she remembered looking for Alex in the crowd. It had been achingly familiar to Litchfield. Her stomach hand dropped and twisted when she entered. It always did when she visited a prison. Part of her would always have that fear inside because she knew better than most how easily your freedom could be stripped away.

Alex tightened her grip on Piper and reached to pull the covers up more, covering up Piper. She wished all of their pain could be so easily made to disappear. Yet, it took work. She knew Alex was just starting no matter how tough she was, Alex was going to need help to put her life together. Financially, she had already done that. In typical Alex fashion, she sought what she wanted and worked hard for it. It was the rest of her life that worried Piper. In their life before, Alex was total ambition. Selling more, making more and establishing herself as the go to Heroin distributor in Indonesia and Europe was all she could think about. It had been exciting at first but soon it was obsessive. Piper wasn't sure that part of a person's character could be so easily erased. She had used the same determination to nail Mendez and his crew to the wall. Figueroa had used Alex as a toy. Now, she was enjoying her own Orange jump suit.

Piper kissed Alex's jaw and rose up to look down in to her eyes. The music, Piper's iPod on random started to play Debussy's Clare de Lune. It was one of her favorite pieces. She kissed Alex and then lifted her head away from her lips, just far enough to say, "I was never alone Alex. I always had my memories of you." She then made sweet love to Alex, using her hands and lips to convey how wonderful it was to have the real Alex with her , they listened to music more and fell into a dreamless sleep wrapped up in one another.

***Their weekend ends...and my work week is kicking my ass. My friend has been released from the hospital and has a long road ahead. I want to thank all of you that said a prayer or sent a kind thought my way. You tell me all the time how much this story means to you. I just want to say writing this story, reading your reviews and making new friends here/twitter has been a blessing to me that I cherish. Please Review to inspire more! Peace, Fae**


	75. Chapter 75 Best Workout Ever

Piper woke with Alex's arm over her. She smiled, turned off her alarm and stretched. Alex was instantly awake and she clutched at Piper. Piper laid still until she adjusted. Alex kissed her neck with soft lips and murmured, "Good morning, Pipes" in her ear.

"Good morning. I had the best night's sleep." Piper said back to her. She turned in her arms and kissed her forehead, eyelids and finally a soft peck on her lips. Alex smiled brightly and pulled her body close.

"This is the first time in...I can't remember when I slept all night. I didn't get up or jerk awake. It's a miracle, you're a miracle!" Laura grinned at her. Piper laughed and kissed her again. Piper then turned to get up out of bed. Alex was having none of that.

"Oh no...no you can't leave without paying the toll," she said as she pulled her down easily with one arm.

Piper moaned, "I have to admit, I love how strong you are now. I really need to run though baby, I've got a long day ahead of me and if I don't run I'll be very cranky," Piper warned from under Alex. Alex looked in her eyes and leaned down to kiss her.

"I'll join you, I don't have my running shoes but I do have on some sneakers. I...would really like to run with you in Prospect Park but it is really cold. I think it snowed again." Alex spoke told her.

Piper couldn't work her mind around Alex actually running but she had gone through intense physical training and from the feel of her body she had kept her workout regime. She kissed Alex's lips softly and murmured on them how much she'd love for her to join her on her run. "I have an elliptical machine in the den closet. You can watch me run...then I can watch you...and drool." Piper said wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. Alex laughed and got up out of the bed. Piper pulled on some yoga pants for herself. She gave Alex some shorts and went to get her water bottle. She did her stretches as Alex sat at the table watching. She pulled out the machine and locked it down before stepping up on it, she blew Alex a kiss. Piper punched in her normal work out and started to move. It was different working out with Alex, she found it hard to zone out as she usually did. Piper tried to just think about her day and gradually her workout increased. She ran for forty minutes and started her cool down. It wasn't a long workout but she wanted to give Alex time on the machine and she didn't want to be late for work.

Piper looked over at her and she was leaning forward with her elbows on her knees. Alex had always looked a Piper with lust in her eyes but this time she was practically radiating it. She went to the closet to get out a couple of towels. When she turned Alex was there and she picked Piper up under her arms and pinned her against the door. Alex kissed her as she panted. Piper groaned on her mouth and reached up to clutch to Alex. She wrapped her legs around her waist and held on tightly.

Alex pulled her mouth away from Pipers and said, "Fuck, I love you sweaty." Piper grinned at her and pushed at her to let her down. Alex dropped her gently and Piper turned her towards the machine.

"My turn to watch," Piper informed her. Alex reluctantly pulled away from her and got up on the machine. She adjusted a few things, then handed Piper her glasses. Piper put them on her head and went to sit where Alex had so she could watch. Alex started to move and Piper was totally enthralled. She ran like she walked with grace that comes from spending her life with long legs. Alex powered as she ran, pushing herself to find a steady fast pace. Piper wondered if she was trying to show off but she could see that Alex wasn't even breathing hard yet. She knew the boot camp would take them for runs for miles and miles. She had resisted the urge to call the WPA and pull more information on the program. She wanted Alex to tell her about her time there. Already she had shared about her scars and the attack. Piper had to have faith that Alex would tell her more in her own time. Patience wasn't one of Piper's best virtues but she had no choice. She had to go slow and steady with her love because she just didn't want to fuck it up again.

Alex didn't focus on Piper either but seemed to zone out as well. She did start to make a cadence like grunt as she moved in to thirty minutes. Piper was sure that Alex could keep pace with her for a long run...possibly she could out pace Piper. That was thrilling to her. Maybe they could run a marathon...Piper shook her head and sipped her water. She wasn't going to make any plans beyond this week. She knew life had a way of fucking things up for them and she didn't want to jinx her happiness.

Oh my, a sweaty Alex was hot. Her hair was pulled back tight in a pony tail and sweat had formed on her face and the front of Piper's Tee Shirt. Piper bit her lip and imagined running her hands over her body. Piper could only think of what it would be like to slide against her and suck each of her nipples as Alex tried to catch her breath.

"Stop looking at me that way, woman or I'm going to stop running and fuck you on your dinner table," Alex panted out.

"Well, you worked up a sweat, I doubt that would be much of a cool down.." Piper teased. Alex squinted at her and reached to cut off the machine. Piper's heart started to beat as fast as when she was the one on the machine. Alex got off the machine and walked over to Piper. She picked her up again under her arms and laid her on the table. Piper moaned and reached to pull up the shirt. She had to touch her, she had to get close to Alex now!

Her lover pulled down her pants, passed her knees and ripped her panties off. Piper said "Fuck yeah, fuck me," to Alex. She leaned over Piper and sucked her nipples through her shirt as she inserted three fingers quickly. Piper arched and pushed her hips up. They were slippery and full of such intense passion that Piper thought maybe she'd pass out. Alex used her long fingers to bring Piper to the precipice then pulled them out of her quickly. Piper growled and clawed at her back and Alex laughed with devilish delight. She teased her nub then plunged her fingers in to her wet cavern again. Piper was screaming with pleasure as Alex drove her higher...closer again. Piper felt the fear that she would pull out again and it made it even more intense. She pulled her up by her hair and bit at her lip, murmuring "Don't you dare stop," as she came hard on her fingers. Alex laughed on her mouth and flicked her spot with her talented fingers. Piper jerked all over and screamed into her mouth. Alex panted and moved Piper down so she could ride her leg. Piper reached down to jerk her shorts off and placed her thigh against the molten heat of Alex's sex. She thrust against Piper and in four quick thrusts she grunted out her own release. Piper shuddered feeling her own pleasurable spasms as she felt Alex's wetness on her thigh. They collapsed back on to the table and tried to catch their breath.

"Best Work Out Ever," Piper panted. Alex laughed and told her that she agreed. They peeled themselves off the table and Piper had to laugh at the sweat marks left behind on her polished cherry. They walked hand and hand to the shower, not talking as they enjoyed the feeling of their afterglow. Piper washed Alex first and forced herself not to kneel down and lick up the mess she'd help make. She knew if she did, she'd never make it to work on time. They washed each other gently and didn't really talk. Piper wondered if Alex was thinking about how they had to spend the day apart. She knew she was being silly but there was an underlying fear inside of her that the world they had created here and back at her place, would disappear in the harsh reality of their everyday lives.

Piper said none of this to Alex; she just got out and started to do her hair for work. Alex dried off and kissed the back of her neck. They had shared a bathroom often at Litchfield so it was nice to do it again. Her shower was not as nice as Alex's shower but they had made due. It was clean and neither of them needed to wear flip flops to protect their feet from fungus. Overall, it was a great morning.

Piper took longer to get ready and when she came out into the kitchen, Alex had her breakfast and coffee waiting. Piper smiled and sat at the kitchen Isle.

"You have already admitted you're going to skip lunch and eat dinner late, so you need a good breakfast. I made you another omelet. I am a one shot wonder when it comes to breakfast I'm afraid. I used your egg whites though so I guess it is a bit healthier," Alex told her as she poured her a cup of coffee.

"Thank you, I love it," Piper said to her as she started to eat her breakfast. Alex sat beside her and ate her own omlette. Piper's coffee was just right and she was struck again by how well they knew each other. They finished eating and quickly cleaned up. Piper had packed a bag as she got ready and she put it beside the front door. Piper disappeared in to her office to gather her briefcase and when she came back out Alex was already dressed and holding Piper's coat.

"Are you going to walk me to the train?" Piper asked her as she saw Alex pick up her bag. Alex nodded and helped Piper in to her jacket. They left and Alex turned, using her key to lock Piper's door. That small gesture made Piper warm inside. Alex took her by her hand and they walked against the wind to the subway. Alex kissed her goodbye at the top of the steps.

"I'll see you at Book 'Em tonight. I put my cell number in your phone while you were getting ready. Please text me and let me know when you'll be there. Have a great, productive day," Alex said to her right before she kissed her goodbye. Piper felt overly emotional so she just nodded and squeezed Alex's hand before she turned and headed off to work.

Working while living your life without Alex Vause could be a godsend at times. Working while you know you are going to see her in a few hours was very hard. Piper had to remind herself throughout the day to stay focused and get all of her work completed. She needed to set up three new clients and walk Jennifer through the steps to assist them with their nonprofits. It was complicated and not Piper's favorite thing to do at her job. She had five meetings throughout the day. One was a working lunch but Piper didn't really touch her food as she was busy talking. Her boss was very understanding of Piper's other job as a writer and activist for prison reform. They were proud of her and it meant so much to her to be supported. She was always aware of how lucky she actually was in comparison to other women with her criminal record. She said goodbye to most of her colleagues as they left for the day and then she prepared digital and paper files for Jennifer that would contain most of the information she may need throughout the week. Piper finally felt secure that her work was settled. She picked up her phone and texted Alex:

Piper: I'm leaving work now. I'm famished. I'll catch the late train and be there in about an hour.

She was locking up her office when she heard the beep letting her know she had a reply.

Alex: It is nearly 8 Pipes. Take a taxi and I have dinner waiting. You can come in through the store or you can go around back. I've missed you today.

Piper read that and smiled. She realized Alex had always been careful of Piper travelling alone but this was rather sweet.

Piper: Yes dear, I'll be there soon. I hope it is good...and hot because like I mentioned I'm hungry.

It only took her three tries to get a cab and that made her very happy. On the way to her store she recalled her last ride there. She had no idea how her life would change. It was supposed to be just another signing. Piper shook her head and rubbed her neck. She was really tired. Her stomach made such a loud noise the driver looked at her with concern. Piper blushed and bit her lip.

She decided to go through the store. Taystee wasn't working and she was disappointed because she wanted to see her. There was a guy behind the counter. He wore a tag that said his name was Scott. He was very friendly and greeted her like she was a customer.

"Good Evening, we'll be closing in about a half an hour, is there anything I can help you find, Miss?" He said as he came out from behind the counter. He was tall and Piper really couldn't tell if he was another of the ex-cons working there.

"Nope, what I want is upstairs," she said as she walked passed him towards the steps. She heard a derisive snort and looked over to see Louann wiping down the cafe' bar.

"Good evening, Louann. I hope you had a good shift. Taystee not working today?" Piper asked politely. Louann looked up at her with a hateful expression.

"She worked in the morning, she had her NA tonight," she mumbled reluctantly. Piper smiled politely and thanked her. She then moved up the stairs dismissing her completely. She tried to feel bad for her but really she couldn't. Alex was her woman and Louann had better get used to seeing them together. Piper knocked on the door when she got to the top of the stairs. It opened fast and Piper knew Alex had been waiting. She immediately looked relieved to see her and pulled Piper inside by her wrist. She took her bag and placed it by the door. She then helped her out of her coat. All the while, Alex never spoke. Once Piper was free of her coat, Alex put it in the closet. The mess of supplies was now gone and Piper admired the door to the closet.

"How was your day, dear?" Alex asked after she shut the door. Piper smirked at the housewife kind of question.

"Long, tiring and exasperating because my work day kept me from you," she answered honestly. Alex smiled big hearing her words and took two long strides towards Piper. She pulled her in to a sweet embrace and kissed her thoroughly. Piper moaned on her lips and enjoyed the feeling of Alex's greeting. It was ruined however by her ever loud and demanding stomach. Alex actually laughed on her lips.

"I take it you weren't exaggerating when you said you were hungry. I made spaghetti. It is Mom's recipe so I know you like it," Alex told her as she walked her over to the small table by the window. Her plate was covered but the smell was amazing. Piper sat down and inhaled the aroma. Alex poured her a glass of wine, then one for herself and sat back to watch Piper eat. She knew she should feel self conscious but she didn't. After someone has seen you stuff your mouth in prison there is little room for modesty. Piper dug right in and rolled her eyes with pleasure. It was the same delicious homemade sauce. Piper told her she spent her entire life comparing other people's spaghetti sauce to her mother's and nothing compared. That really touched Alex.

"I love that we share memories of her, "Alex admitted. She sipped her wine and listened as Piper told her about her day. She asked Alex to share as well and she told Piper about the customers they had. She told her how Taystee caught a kid shoplifting and bought the book for her. Piper was touched.

"I'm surprised she didn't smack her in the head with a book. I think Taystee maybe mellowing in her old age," Piper observed. Alex had to agree.

"I have it all arranged with Lorna. She will manage the store for me while we are gone. She teased me for twenty minutes about it. They want us to go out to dinner with them when we get back, I told her I needed to talk to you about it," Alex informed her. Piper nodded and chewed her food before she replied.

"I'd love that. We can go out or cook, I don't mind. I must admit, I like domestic Alex," Piper grinned saying this as she sipped her wine. Alex snorted and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Domestic Alex? I have always cooked for you," Alex pointed out.

"Not much there near the end, you would send me out to eat and I'd bring you back something," Piper reminded her. Alex nodded and turned her head to look out at the East River.

"Once it warms up, I want to go walking with you here. It is lovely...I can't believe I live here now...I always made fun of rich bitches that lived in this area. But it is growing on me...kinda like Domestic Alex is growing on you and professional Piper is growing on me," Alex retorted. Piper laughed at being called "professional Piper" but she knew it was true.

"We've come a long way, Baby! Now, I'm stuffed and all I want is to snuggle with you on that comfy couch...could that be arranged?" Piper asked after she finished her wine. Alex stood and held out her hand to her.

"I've waited all day to do just that," she said. Piper took her hand and walked in to her arms.

**I want to all the American readers a happy Labor day weekend. I will be traveling and visiting family so I don't know when I'll update again. Please Review! FaeCym***


	76. Chapter 76 Slipped On Ice

Never to let this lose me grace  
But rather bring you back to me:  
Amongst all mortal women the one  
I most wish to see. Sappho.

It was around four in the morning when Piper was awaken from a wonderful warm sleep by a frightful sound. She jerked awake and sat up in the bed. Alex was on her stomach, her arms were above her head and she was making a strangled sound, repeating,"no no no no". Her voice echoed despair. Piper recognized the nightmare for what it was but the noise moved her to make a snap decision, she reached for Alex, she tried to wrap her arms around her and hold her close. Alex reacted by screaming and bringing her elbow up and connecting with the side of Piper's head. She saw a burst of light in her right eye and felt a jolt of pain. She knew immediately she shouldn't have touched her like that. Piper released her and moved her body back, keeping her head low. Alex was up and out of the bed so fast that Piper was worried she'd fall on the hardwood floor.

Piper reached for her lamp and started to speak to her, " Alex, Alex it's alright, you're safe in your apartment, over the store...you are free. Alex, Alex I'm here, I'm here...Alex it's alright, You're..." Piper repeated. Alex moved to the corner by the door and was crouched down some. She was blinking and her heart was racing but Piper could see she was already shaking less. She stared at Piper who stood naked at the foot of the bed, holding on to the sturdy post and talking calmly to her love.

"Piper..." Alex said as she stood straight and walked over to her. She hugged Piper close and then took her face in her hands, looking at her with such love. Piper remained relaxed and looked Alex in the eye.

"Yes, it's me. It was a bad dream, but you're here. You are fine with me and it is all over," Piper said again while looking at her. She tentatively reached out to hug Alex around the waist. Alex brought one hand to her face and rubbed it as if she could wipe away the images her mind tormented her with like an erasure on a board. Piper ducked her head under Alex's chin and relaxed in to her arms. Alex clutched her close.

"I've not slept with anyone...in a long while. I usually just wake up screaming and then I go to the workshop," Alex whispered in her normal bed voice. It was the one she used when Piper was tucked up safe in her arms. That voice was vulnerable and felt safe. She was so thankful that she could help provide that soft place to land.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have touched you before I knew you were awake. I fucking hate I provided touch to your dream. Forgive me please..." Piper asked as she squeezed, "I've been there, I understand. I beat Larry hard one night and was in a corner until I snapped out of it. I would fixate on the nightlight and wait for sunup. The workshop sounds nicer," Piper continued to speak, softly just babbling so Alex didn't have to speak or feel like she had to share what the dream was about. Piper wasn't sure she wanted to hear it in that moment. She knew how hard it was to share details to someone you love. She knew she'd want to kill him. She knew she would plan it, perhaps even fixate on it. Piper knew she could hate like that. She had hated Healy like that. Oh, how it was so much worse when it was because of Alex.

"No, don't apologize...here, let's get back under the blanket," Alex motioned her toward the bed. Piper froze.

Piper took her by the hand and explained, "No, you won't be able to sleep and you'll just be alone with your thoughts. Even holding me, that isn't the kind of night I want you to have...so you'd go to your workshop? May I go with you? Do we dress for this or um.."Piper said looking down her naked body. Alex laughed and went to her closet. She came out carrying two sets of big boots and heavy long winter jackets. Piper was relieved. She didn't want Alex to see the side of her eye until she could see how bad it looked in the mirror.

"You are outside for a flight of stairs...but it is warm in the workshop and I have futon up there if you get sleepy," Alex put down some big boots for her and she said she had better go to the bathroom first. She took her boots with her and went to the bathroom. She shut the door and turned on the light by the mirror. She could already see discoloration of her the corner of her cheek and she was pretty sure she'd be bruised all along the outer rim of her eye socket. She wondered if Eva could get a makeup artist to see her before the reading. She knew she could fix her hair differently and cover a good portion. Tonight, that is what she did. After a few moments to freshen up, she put on her boots and walked her naked ass into the large jacket Alex held open for her.

They walked out of her bedroom hand in hand. Alex took her through the laundry room, to the back door. Alex punched in a code, "The code here is 0829, I have a key for you. If you come in up the back stairs you have 45 seconds to enter the code or an alarm sounds. The workshop isn't wired but it has a great lock on it. Your key will fit," Alex explained as they walked up. Piper grinned and nodded. Alex was cohabitating with her. She was in complete shock but in a great way because it was ridiculous for them to pretend they didn't live together for years both in and out of prison. It was open access. It was for peace of mind. She was thinking of how to remember the code when it hit her. She stopped half way up the flight of stairs. The night was frigid and she was naked underneath. Yet she stopped and looked at her. Alex turned to see if she was alright. The stair was lit by lights at the bottom and top of the stairwell.

"That was my release day and month," Piper observed at her. Alex thought for a moment and made a face like she was considering advice and nodded.

"I suppose it is...easy for you to remember then," Alex drawled. Ever practical she laughed and pulled her up the last flight of stairs. Alex used her key to open the two locks and pulled her inside to the warmth. It was definitely a workshop. There were huge tool and saws in the far corner and one whole area was covered in saw dust. In the front of the space, to the left was a rather nice gym area. She saw some machines and punching bags. Piper looked the other way and saw open windows along one wall and a small sitting area protected by a rock wall from all the havoc of the saw area. There was a futon, already out like a bed. She saw a computer station, draft board, microwave and books. Books she recognized that Alex would have had in her cell. This was where Alex had lived while she worked on her apartment.

"This space is massive. I can see why you like it," Piper said as she moved in to the sitting area. Alex moved ahead and picked up a couple of Tee shirts and two sets of coveralls. Piper was happy to see her a bit messy. Alex turned on the overhead light and put the clothes in a basket by a closet.

"Yeah I pretty much lived here. I had just moved into the apartment the day of your reading," Alex explained. She turned and Piper smiled at her. She sat on the futon and fell back into the pillows. She picked one up to her nose and inhaled. Yes it smelled like Alex. She smiled up to her from her bed.

"You can work on whatever you are working on..I'll just follow you around and watch from a distance," Piper teased, looking up at Alex. Alex walked towards her and looked down. She reached down, sitting on the edge of the futon. She pushed her hair further back and Piper froze. She saw Alex's eyes fix on her eye and all the color drain from her cheeks.

Piper felt fear course through her body. She curled forward and slid both of her hands around Alex's body. Immediately Alex tried to pull away from her, but Piper clung to her tightly.

"No, listen, it was an accident. Alex, don't..don't you pull away, please...no please Alex, listen, it was your elbow, you were asleep and thought I was someone else...I should have bobbed when I weaved..." Piper tried to explain.

"You should have told me! Fuck Piper, let me see..oh god..what have I done, oh fuck what was I thinking, I'm too fucking damaged.." Alex mumbled as she pulled Piper up to look at her face. Piper still clung to her with her arms locked around her. She knew how Alex felt. She felt the same way when she hurt Larry. Well, he took it better and didn't bruise, but it was just pure luck. Piper easily could have broken his nose.

"You are not, it was a good night, Alex. Please don't...don't freak baby, I can cover it with makeup," Piper tried to help. Alex winced and looked away.

"Fuck ...you have a conference in two days. I'm so sorry Piper, I'm so sorry, " Alex's voice broke and she tried to pull away from Piper again. She clung to her.

"Listen, it is alright. I can say I fell...look..you didn't mean it and you should not feel any shame. It was an accident. I knew better than to grab you..."Piper tried to reason with her.

Alex pushed her hands down and managed to rise up from the futon and move away from her. She pushed her glasses up on her head and pinched her eyes shut fighting tears. Piper rose and walked towards her but stopped and made herself remember to give her space.

"I'm not well enough for this. I...barely cope. I only feel safe some of the time and God Piper the nightmares are brutal. You're lucky I didn't keep beating you. I elbowed him in the throat and broke his hand. I don't even remember fighting him off. It took three Cos to restrain me. I could have hurt you so bad Piper, oh fuck, I'm going to be sick," Alex bent over the trash can and lost the contents of her stomach. Piper went to the small kitchenette area and wet a dish cloth. She brought it Alex holding it out.

"You didn't hurt me...and we will talk about what to do if you dream, we'll come up with a plan, but please Alex...please don't separate us," Piper pleaded in her most calm voice. She took off her jacket and moved closer, wiping Alex's mouth when she didn't take the towel from her hand. Alex just looked at her like she was a dream she just realized she could never have.

"I did hurt you Piper, I could have damaged your eye...what an inch more? Why didn't you tell me?" Alex asked as she went suddenly rigid. Piper finished her face and turned walking towards the sink. She wanted to explain in away that didn't sound like she was trying to cover up or lie.

"I didn't want you to feel the way you do right now, because I'm terrified you'll pull away from me and disappear. So much that I don't like the idea of not sleeping with you. It is a bit sad and stalkerish but I'm working on it," Piper admitted to the sink, never raising her head.

"I should pull away Piper and slow this down. I'm not ready...I could hurt you and I can't...I can't live with that," Alex stated. Piper turned towards her and felt fear rise and take root in her throat. She felt that same terror when Fischer said she was gone and when Alex made it very clear she was no longer there for Piper in prison. Piper swallowed and tried to draw a big breath. She turned and walked out of the area towards the door. She was wearing only her boots but all she think about was trying to draw in clear air. She pushed her way out in to the cold night and sucked in a deep breath. Piper bent over and stifled a scream of frustrated fear.

She saw her boots first, just like before. She felt her jacket over her back and felt Alex kneel down on the cold metal stair to bring it around the front of Piper. She buttoned the top and stood as Piper still gasped for breath. She rose and turned her body away from her, she leaned against the railing and clutched it tightly with both hands. The cold metal pressed against her abdomen was a welcome shock. The cold matched that creeping feeling that was building up again inside.

"Look, I'm not running I just...Piper please ..."Alex wanted her to move back from the railing...she wanted Piper to understand and make it easy. Piper set her jaw and straightened her body.

"No. We're not moving too fast. No, you have not destroyed anything. You had a dream and I need to learn to let you have it or wake you with my voice. Period." Piper spoke with a finality that she wished her raging heart actually felt. She turned to look at Alex. She was standing in the threshold looking a Piper with her glasses now down on her nose.

"Piper, you don't understand..." Alex began.

"Oh I do understand, Alex. I slept in peace, in Larry's arms for six years and I returned to a bed where I fought Larry like he was Henton. I understand perfectly and I know what my doctor told him to do when I dreamed...and I will get better at it. So will you. You said yourself, just last night you didn't have a dream at all. Don't give up on us...you've done that once, don't you dare do it again," Piper shouted the last few sentences.

Alex winced and took a step backwards. She looked at Piper for awhile and then held out her hand. "Get in here, before you freeze again," Alex commanded. Piper took her head and walked back in to the workshop with Alex. They walked in to the living area and she took off Piper's coat. Alex took off her coat as well and pulled the comforter up so they could get inside.

Piper climbed in and waited on Alex. She joined her and held her close. Piper wanted to talk but she knew she should wait on Alex. So she made herself relax.

"Does it hurt?" Alex asked. She absently moved her hand up and down Piper's arm. She scrunched her eye and felt the dull throb.

"Yeah, but I've had worse...remember when we slept in those bunk beds in Indonesia? We had got lost and stayed at that mission. I sat right up in the morning and gave myself a concussion on the bottom of that bed. It doesn't hurt near as bad as that," Piper observed. Alex laughed. Piper had the biggest bruise on her forehead for days that resembled the metal bar of the bunk. They hadn't wanted to sleep apart so they had cuddled in the bottom bunk. Piper didn't want to go back to sleeping alone. She hoped Alex felt the same way.

"I'll think about it. Tonight we should stay at your place and we are supposed to leave in the afternoon right? So, I'll think about it today," Alex finally spoke and said.

"I need to meet Polly for business and I'll probably work on correspondence and twitter in the afternoon. I can do that anywhere. Raven will be at my place and pack most of my things plus help make sure I'm completely flush at work," Piper whispered to her as she tried not to cling too much to her body. She liked that Alex had climbed back in to bed with her. She knew that she was afraid she'd hurt her again and she figured Alex would not sleep for the next bit. At least not allow herself to fall to sleep with Piper. She knew that is what she did with Larry. Piper would take what she could get. She also wanted to ask Alex about contacting Dr. Speer again but she was afraid it was too soon.

"So you can work from here and we could go back to your place on Wednesday? That would be good, because I need to work tomorrow during the day. Louann has a parole officer meeting and a check in to see how the program is working. She gets really nervous so I gave the day off," Alex reached over and turned on the alarm clock. Piper snuggled down in to her warmth. She knew they would need to get up in a few hours. Piper turned and kissed Alex's chest.

She felt her stiffen and then exhale to relax. Piper gently kissed up her neck and whispered in her ear. "You're a good boss. She has a crush on your something fierce, so you better tell me her story soon or I'm gonna get all Ghetto block on her ass. Bitches gots to learn you're with me now. You are with me yes?" Piper asked, pushing her luck.

Alex laughed softly and kissed Piper's head. "I will speak with her after her meeting. She was a self surrender at Danbury. I helped her and she got attached. I...well I wasn't nice about it. I was an asshole," she explained, "and this asshole is with you for as long as you want me." Piper smiled and listened. She liked hearing Alex speak of her time apart and liked how she claimed wanting a place in Piper's life.

Yet thinking about Louann brought Piper to their time apart. It upset her in one way, she was learning in pieces. Louann knew Alex when she was alone.

"Thank you...actually, I will handle it if you don't mind. Just no more hugs...you shouldn't do that anyway as her employer," Piper pointed out. Alex started to laugh again and she smiled.

"You're impossible, kid. Don't lose your temper, please. She helped me out once when...I almost relapsed," Alex admitted in a real soft voice. Piper froze and closed her blue eyes. She reminded herself to breath as she finally tightened her grip on Alex's body.

"I will remember that. I promise I will work to keep my temper. I've grown up myself Alex. I've already lived through losing you once and I will be territorial. I will fight for us," Piper promised. Alex held her close and pulled up the cover so Piper was very warm and cozy. Alex was leaning against the wall some and was basically inclined as Piper's soft pillows. Piper closed her eyes, it was about two hours until they should get up. She was sleepy and her eyes began to be very heavy.

"Alex it helps to look at a light...just look out the window and concentrate on my breathing...might doze.." Piper mumbled as she fell in to the warmth of her sleep she heard Alex say, "I got something more beautiful to look at..but I'll keep that in mind."

They got up with the alarm and went back down to the apartment to get ready. Alex adverted her eyes when Piper looked at herself in the mirror. It was bruised along her temple and on to the top of her eye. It looked like she perhaps ran into a pipe. She pulled Alex close and made her look her in the eye.

"it will be easy to cover with eye make up and I will tell everyone I slipped on ice if they notice. Now, after our shower, I will make us breakfast. You get ready then I'll get ready and meet you downstairs. I want a big latte with whole milk and a shot of caramel. It will be my reward for paying attention at my meeting and not flirting with the barista," Piper teased. Alex reluctantly raised her lips into a grin. She looked at Piper's eye and kept focusing on the bruise. She moved her head and made her look in to her eyes. Piper stared at her for a long while until finally Alex relaxed. She then pulled her to the shower and in to the steaming water.

She washed her head to toe, then knelt before her. She started to protest and moved to pull Piper up. She ignored her signals and lifted her leg and placed it on her left shoulder. Alex adjusted, reaching out to grasp the bars placed just so on the wall and door.

"Piper, your eye..." Alex began. Piper kissed her sex and flicked her clit with a fast jab. She was delighted when Alex jumped some and then her hips moved forward.

"Really Alex, I know you always eat better pussy with your glasses off...I just assumed you didn't need both eyes to be in perfect shape for your tongue to work. Don't worry, tongue remembers where to go and I see just fine..." Piper grinned up her body and felt the water wash over her face. Alex leaned forward and shielded her from the spray. She bit her lip and Piper delved in and sucked her wetness. Piper worked to excite Alex and she made sounds as she lapped. She brought both of her hands up to clutch her ass cheeks, digging her nails in enough to let her know Piper was holding her. Alex moved her hips now pressing in to her mouth. Piper alternated flicking her sensitive clit and flattening her tongue out to lap inside of her. She moved her head so she matched her rhythm and kept pushing her to burst into her open mouth.

Alex reached down and clinched Piper's head in her hand. She came grunting in to her mouth. Piper stopped sucking at her sex and just kissed her thighs for a moment to catch her breath. She rose and kissed Alex as she turned off the water. Piper led Alex out and dried her off. She was smiling at Piper with hooded eyes that told her she was emotional. Alex put on her glasses as Piper dried her hair and walked out of the bathroom. She put on her robe from her bag and her hair up in a towel. She went to her kitchen and started to make her breakfast. She made her toast with peanut butter and sliced banana. She poured her a cold glass of soy milk then made herself the same breakfast. It was comfort food. Piper wasn't going to make coffee. Now that she knew Alex worked making them, she knew that she had studied it and would critique her coffee. She smiled remembering she had liked what Piper fixed her.

Alex came out, dressed in a long black knit shirt, dark jeans and black boots. Her tats were covered and Piper wished it wasn't so cold out so she could enjoy how they looked on her girl's cut bicep. She watched her approach and sit at the kitchen isle.

"Yum, my favorite," she said as she started to eat her toast and banana. Piper agreed and took a few bites of hers before she leaned over and kissed Alex on the nose. Alex crossed her eyes and made a funny face at the gesture.

"Tell me you did not just kiss me on my nose? Have you lost your ever loving mind Piper?" Alex began. Piper laughed and nodded.

"No, I was just checking. I know you think nose kisses and eskimo kisses and other cutesy shit is puke worthy. I agree, so just checkin' I'm going to go get ready. I'll see you downstairs. Do I need to do anything to the alarm?" Piper asked as she remembered.

Alex shook her head, "No I'll disarm the door. The code is the same for that door though. The store has a different code. I'll write it all down if you want later. Your key will be here on the counter," she explained. Piper smiled as she went to get ready.

It wasn't too hard to cover with makeup. She wished she could get away with wearing sunglasses. She knew it would only look worse. Piper fixed her hair to fall to that side and that covered most of it. She came down and waved to Alex as she opened the bar. Taystee shouted her hello from across the store. She was busy putting out a display of a new young adult book about vampires. Eva was right on time and Piper stood as she walked over. About the same time as she walked up to the table, Alex brought her latte. She placed it beside where Piper was sitting. She turned and thanked her.

"Eva, hello...good to see you. This is Alex Vause, I don't think you met before," Piper said automatically introducing her. Eva seemed to freeze a moment, then she looked over at Alex. She extended her hand towards her. Alex paused for a moment the reached out and shook her hand.

"Nice to meet you," Eva said and Alex replied with a short, "Likewise, may I get you something to drink?" Eva declined and Alex left them to get to work. They worked through the itinerary and Piper put most of it in her phone. She knew Raven would upload it so she had access. She inquired about a makeup artist and Eva didn't even bat an eye. She just made a few phone calls and told her she could get one to meet her in her hotel room about an hour prior to the reading. Piper agreed and Eva set it all in to motion. When she hung up from the phone she looked up at Piper and took a deep breath.

"Look, I don't know what happened but if you need help, I'm here. If she hits you again though, I am going to go..."Eva began. Piper held up her hand and glare at her.

"Woah..woah..what the fuck did you just say? Did you just assume that 1. I'm a victim and 2. Alex hit me? Don't you think you should open your damn mouth and ask before you assume anyting?" Piper was livid. "For your information, I slipped on the ice and landed on the railing of the stairs. I feel stupid for not wearing boots but I am not a victim of domestic violence," Piper tore in to her with her words. Eva blanched and drew back. There were people all about the store and Piper tried hard to keep her voice down. '

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have...you're right," Eva said, visibly shaken. Piper took a breath and exhaled slowly. She nodded at Eva. They finished the rest of their business quickly. Eva left saying she'd work anything else out with Raven. Piper smiled a blank professional smile and agreed. She was livid that Eva assumed because Alex was a convict that she was violent. She didn't know how very gentle she actually could be...she didn't know how Alex always sought to think her way out of trouble, never punch her way. Had she only known that it was Piper who had nearly beaten a woman to death.

Piper finished her latte even though it was cold. Taystee walked over and sat beside her. She straightened up the table some and stacked Piper's papers. Piper waited on her to say what she had to say.

"I know for a fact she spent half the morning when she got back yesterday, deicing those steps. I also know, that woman didn't hit you...so your reaction was to her stupid ass self assuming the worse about your woman," Taystee stated to Piper in a low voice. Piper leaned over and bumped her shoulder in to Taystee's arm.

"You know me well bunkie. Look, I got to run to the bank, it is actually rather close, may I put my stuff behind the counter or should I take it up out of your workspace upstairs?" Piper asked. She knew Taystee liked to have things in their place. She snorted at Piper asking and gathered up the notepad and folders. Piper needed to get her notes ready for her workshops but she could do that after she ran an errand.

"You don't need to bunkie me, Chapman. I'll put your stuff under the register on the shelf. Better tell the boss lady you takin' off," Taystee responded. Piper rose, putting on her jacket and walking over to tell Alex.

"I'll be back, I need to run some errands. I may just go meet Polly but I'll be back here by two. I got my key," Piper said with a smile. Alex leaned forward and kissed her lips softly.

"See you later kid," she said. Piper left her there behind the bar and walked with a silent purpose into the day. The streets were busy and the snow was black with the taint of Urban sprawl. She didn't mind the bustle or the wind, she had her determination to keep her warm.

***I hope you all enjoyed your holiday! Canadian readers too! I did and I feel much renewed. I missed writing them. As always, please review! Faecym***


	77. Chapter 77 FU and the Cabby

Piper finished her business at the bank and walked down the street for three blocks before she stopped and considered where she was going...and what she was doing. She called Raven and gave her instructions. She also told her she fell on the steps and hit her face on the railing. Raven expressed sympathy. Piper told her that Eva had assumed Alex hit her. Raven was quiet for a moment and just made a noncommittal sound. This told Piper that Eva had already spoken to her about it. The fact that Alex was the one that hit her meant nothing to Piper. It was as much her fault and she saw it as a total accident.

"That pissed me off Raven. I am grateful you have more discretion and sense than to jump to conclusions like that," Piper explained.

Before she could continue Raven said, "Oh no, if I thought she hit you, I'd ask you outright. However, I saw the two of you together. I would never think that. I've seen her look at you." Raven stated it like it was a fact. She then asked a few questions about the changes Piper sought to make on her trip. Once that was completed, Piper turned and hailed a cab. She took it to the cafe where she was to meet Polly. Finn wasn't with her and Piper was immediately bummed.

"Oh, you know..there was a time when you were actually happy to see me. Now, if I don't have my offspring you are depressed. I'm getting a complex," Polly accused. Piper smiled an over exaggerated smile and bent down to kiss her friend on the cheek. Polly turned her head at the last second to look at Piper's face and she kissed her dead on the lip. Piper blinked and pulled back.

"Um, I didn't think I neglected you as bad as all that...or has Pete put you off men again?" Piper joked. She sat down and glanced at the lunch menu. It was early yet. She had a live twitter feed her publisher arranged at 3pm. She wondered if Alex wanted something for lunch.

"No, I turned to check out your shiner. At least I think it is...it maybe the lighting, if that is the case, you better march to the bathroom and redo your eye makeup," Polly explained to Piper. Piper laughed and looked down at the menu. She waited a moment or two as if she was reading.

"I...fell. On, the uh..."Piper said in what she thought was a casual voice. Polly's head shot up from her own menu and she placed it down quickly.

"Stop. Piper Chapman, lift your head and tell me why the fuck you just lied to me?" Polly insisted. She reached across the table after she spoke and pressed the menu down to the table. Piper looked up and in to her eyes. She had never lied to her with ease and after all these years it was near impossible to now.

"Alex was having a nightmare last night...much like the ones I had regularly when I first got out. I reached for her before she was awake and she panicked. I got an elbow to the head. She feels awful and I feel stupid...so to everyone else, and I mean every single person on this planet...I fell," Piper said in a tone that let her know there would be no blabbing, even to Pete.

Polly frowned and looked back down at her menu. She didn't comment and Piper finally looked away herself. She was going to have a salad. She was going to order Alex a BLT on wheat to go. If she didn't want it, Taystee would take it home.

"Alright Piper, I will say it. Maybe you shouldn't sleep with her until she gets help. Let me finish...you are just now starting to go out and sleeping over each night is a big deal. Plus, she will feel awful about this and do what you used to do...avoid sleep. It nearly made you sick. As much as I've come to sorta like SC, I don't want her nightmares to bruise or hurt you at all." Polly stated in a soft calm voice.

Piper clenched her jaw and took a deep breath. She reminded herself that Polly was her best friend. This was what it meant to share Alex with her entire life. She sighed and nodded to Polly.

"I heard you. I understand. However, fuck you and the cabby you rode here with, if you think anyone or any bad dream is keeping me from spending every moment of my life I can with Alex," Piper replied. Polly nodded her head up and down.

"Guess that was a safe bet as you'd fuck either a male or female cab driver. Finn dropped me off though, so have at it. He always said, one night with him and you'd be forever straight," Polly snarked back at her. Piper knew the subject was closed.

Piper rolled her eyes and the waitress came over. She made her order and Polly smirked at the BLT. As they waited for their food, Polly brought out the reports from the management firm, Ashland Inc. They had sold their business name to Ashland for a good sum and portion of the profits. Polly acted as an advisor on all products that carried their name. Piper knew enough to know this was a wonderful deal for them. They had steadily been gaining profit for over a year. She knew she would have to see the family accountant soon to do something with them money. Polly had already set up Finn a college account. She showed Piper the market research on the new soap. Piper signed over her proxy to Polly so she could attend the meeting and make any decisions for them. She felt kind of bad but Polly seemed to love working as a consultant. It allowed her to be basically a full time mother, but work enough to get out of the house and contribute.

They ate after the papers were signed and Piper got quiet. Polly watched her for awhile and then reached over and took her hand. "She will feel like shit for awhile, just keep making it alright for her and don't freak out if you're apart," Polly suggested. Piper nodded and smiled at her with a weak smile. She had so much on her mind but her bestie got to the point as usual.

"I'm worried she is going to use it as an excuse to pull back...to break away. She already tried when she saw it. She is in between...still half there in her mind and part of her raging to be free. I know Alex, she could decide to chuck it all tomorrow, get a ticket and be gone to some corner of the Earth. We used to do it all the time. I'm scared because I don't trust her not to run. I keep waiting to get side swiped by an oncoming train," Piper admitted with a sigh, then she said, "It is exhausting constantly bracing for impact." Polly listened and finished eating. She told Piper that she was doing all she could do. She just had to make herself listen to Alex.

"If she doesn't want to go with you to Canada, then you tell her you completely understand. You do this trip on your own and you call her a day after you get back. Not the minute you land...but the next day. You're worth fighting for Piper and I think she will do it. Just...try to be patient," Polly advised. Her tone told Piper she knew that wasn't going to happen. They parted ways and Piper promised her she'd call her when she got back in to town. Piper walked for a few blocks. She liked the bustle of the street and the passing people. Everyone seemed to know where they were going and each one had a purpose. Piper thought about her purpose and mulled over her choices. Finally, she stopped and hailed a cab to take her to Book 'Em. She walked around the back of the building and up the stairs to the apartment. She used her key and punched in her unforgettable code. Piper enjoyed being in her apartment without Alex there. The space grew on her and she came to crave the view from the window. Piper put her sandwich on a plate with a few carrot chips and hummus. She walked the sandwich down the stairs and stopped on the landing. She saw Alex leaning against a bookshelf, talking to Louann. Louann was walking back and forth with nervous energy. Alex was listening to her with a kind expression. She reached out to hug her but stopped and instead put her hand on her shoulder. Louann stopped abruptly and looked down at Alex's arm. Piper watched as Alex spoke to her. She couldn't hear the words.

She then put Alex's lunch on the desk. It was a little late and she may have eaten already, Piper told herself. She went down the last flight of stairs and stepped out on the store floor. She immediately saw her friend Monica. She had one of her children in tow. She looked a bit frazzled but she was genuinely happy to see Piper.

"Hi there stranger! Write a best selling book and you disappear out promoting it! I haven't seen you in forever, Pipes," she gushed. Piper gave her a hug and bent to say hello to Jeremy. He smiled and blew her a kiss. It was a cute trick he'd obviously just learned. His kisses were very wet and Piper had to laugh dodged a spit line.

"Yes, I'm gone so much. I leave for Canada tomorrow. How is everyone?" Piper asked vaguely. She wanted to know but more than that she wanted to hear what Alex was saying to that Louann. Piper reminded herself that Louann had been there for Alex when she needed her. Piper just wanted to make sure she knew that Alex didn't need her anymore.

"Everyone is great. We had dinner with Larry and Mila last week. She is nearly finished with her residency. She was considering joining Doctors Without Borders but I think Larry has talked her out of it," Monica rambled. Piper held up her hand and Monica got quiet.

"Please don't mention his name nor mention mine to him. I ask you to please, Monica. I want nothing to do with him," Piper said in a stern voice. Monica's eyes got round and she nodded at her.

"Sure, Piper..I thought you two were at least on friendly terms or I wouldn't have..I mean...sure. I had better go. It was nice seeing you," Monica finished and she walked on out of the store. Piper exhaled and turned to see Alex standing a few feet away watching Monica walk out of the store.

"I brought you a BLT and Polly says hi. It is on the desk," Piper told her has she pointed up to the observation desk on the landing. Alex smiled at her and looked her over with slow eyes. Piper made herself relax her hands. She had been clenching her fists until her nails cut in to her palm. It reminded her she needed to visit a salon and get them filed down properly.

"Thank you. Friend of yours?" Alex asked. She walked up to Piper and tentatively brushed her hair back. Piper moved closer to her and pressed her body close. She kissed Alex on the neck affectionately. Her eyes darted out to the store and she looked for Louann. She kicked herself for being petty.

"Yes, well she used to be a good friend. I haven't seen her much lately. You know how it is, you build a life with someone and break it off...some friends go one way..some the other," she shrugged. She didn't mention that she basically got Polly and Pete. Piper had let Larry have their whole crowd. It was easier than pretending she had anything in common with them anymore. Alex nodded and walked up the stairs, holding Piper's hand. She stopped at her desk and picked up her plate, then kept walking up the stairs. She saw another girl working one with blue stripes in her hair was behind the bar. Piper figured Alex had about ten employees total here.

Alex walked in to the apartment and up to the bar. She ate sitting there. Piper got her a bottle of water. She ate the whole sandwich without talking. Piper watched and grinned because she was hungry. She checked the clock and then sighed.

"I have work to do. May I use your desk? Mainly I will use my phone and laptop. I have a live tweeting thing to do and I need both the laptop and the phone," Piper asked her as she passed by her.

"Mi Casa es Su Casa,' Alex responded, " I am going to hang the door to the laundry. I had the tile workers bring it down for me. I might need a hand..if you hear me grunt hard," Alex teased. Piper liked the idea of manual labor eye candy. She hoped she could focus. Piper responded to her urgent messages from the WPA and made three phone calls while waiting for the time. Alex, washed off the door with a damp cloth and then dried it carefully. It was a dark mahogeny and it matched the shade of the floors. It was a plain, beautiful door. Piper noticed the handle was sturdy and the door had a strong lock. She had lived with Alex all over the world and never was she worried about security. Yet she made each of the doors herself.

Piper turned her head and went back to work. The tweeting was about to start and she logged on. She had many questions in her box, and articles to read. She delved in and pulled up the data she had gathered last week for the discussion. It was a good feed the entire time. There were some true academics and a few from the political arena that seemed to be fishing for something. Piper just tweeted her truth. She was in the middle of a discussion about solitary conditions in California when she saw Alex lift up the door and rest it on a block to support the door as she used a drill to hinge it. She was wearing a tee shirt and jeans. Piper bit her lip and just stared. She looked for a long while, oblivious to the time. She just watched Alex move and drank it up. It was like when she'd work a party or charm someone over the phone when they lived abroad. She was confident and calm. Piper wanted to lick her back to see if it was salty.

She was rising from her chair to walk over when Alex said, "Kid, you had better pay attention to your work. Twitterverse is calling." Alex turned her head and looked back with a grin on her face.

"What? Oh no, I mean I can just say a few things here or there, I made good points already," Piper said looking down to tweet a statement of agreement to something she read fast. Good thing twitter is short. Alex made a tsk tsk sound and moved to finish hanging the door. Piper watched and moved closer. She kept her phone in her hand and she looked down taking two of the questions asked to her directly and answering them quickly.

"My you are very fast at that, Miss Chapman. Remind me never to get into a texting fight with you," Alex laughed as she told her. Piper moved closer and smiled. She liked the praise.

"Yes, you'd lose. Just type , "yes dear, we'll talk when you get home," Piper advised. Alex snorted.

"Keep dreaming. I'll call your ass and have a proper fight on the phone," Alex informed her. Piper smirked. Alex always got short and mumbled. She hated fighting on the phone or used to...come to think of it, after being in prison Piper could conduct a great phone convo.

Piper answered a few more questions and the time was nearly up. She answered one more question and then signed off. She checked her phone and she had checked off most of her to do list.

"Tickets were delivered. Are you going with me Alex?" Piper asked. Alex had not said they'd even spend the night together. She said she'd think about it. Their flight left early tomorrow afternoon. Piper needed to know.

"Yes, but I want to sleep alone in the workshop tonight," Alex said. Piper bit her lip and turned her head to the side to argue.

Then she stopped and took a breath, "Tonight, yes but not in Toronto...and please stay with me some down here, it's a big cold bed?" Piper asked with a soft pout. She was hoping Alex would get sleepy and fall to sleep with her.

"I can't wait to snuggle. I'll just be upstairs when you wake. I'll set the alarm. Are you finished with work?" Alex asked. Piper shook her head. She had two conference calls. She expected she'd finish around seven.

Piper bit her lip and said, "I totally want to tell you how I empathize with you and admire your skill. You stayed focused on your business when we were together and ...well I'm really cute. You've got willpower," Piper nodded giving her props. Alex laughed.

"Well sweetheart, it wasn't easy. You keep working, I need to keep an eye on the new girl. I think I can smell burnt espresso from here. That means it is all over the store and I am not going to be pleased," Alex clenched her teeth as she said it. Piper watched her go as she sat down to work.

Time passed quickly and both remained busing in to the early evening. Piper finished and went to fill that lovely tub. She wondered what had taken her so long to indulge. She knew it was because she'd been bathing with Alex since Sunday. She bit her lip and stared into the water as it filled. Finally, Piper slipped in to the bath. She closed her eyes and thought back over the amazing last few days...she thought of all of the emotion. She thought of things she never thought she'd think or feel again. She thought of the fantastic sex.

Piper's hands slide down her body washing herself with a fragrant soap. It was a faint gardenia and she liked it. Piper stroked her body expertly thinking about Alex and what her hands do to her body. She was in the middle of whimpering out her orgasm when Alex opened the door. She stood in the doorway and watched Piper come undone. Her nostrils flared and she murmured something sweet Piper didn't catch. She twitched and quivered in the water. Alex was undressed so fast, Piper was amazed. She slipped in the tub, behind Piper and pulled her taut body into her embrace.

"Let me wash you now, my girl...and help you to a few more of those delightful displays of wantoness," Alex whispered in her ear. Piper moaned and pushed back against her. She turned her head and bit at Alex's neck playfully. Alex laughed and then she shared the antics of the new barista in her deep sexy voice.

Alex brought Piper to orgasm twice more and Piper returned the favor. They had made a mess in the floor of the bathroom but both were very sated and more than a little waterlogged when they finally got out. Alex ordered take out from her favorite Chinese place. Piper was kind of thankful they weren't going out. The next few nights would be busy for them. She was esctatic that Alex was still going. It steadied her resolve. As they were drying off Alex said something that made Piper's heart skip.

"I called Dr. Speer today. I've got an appointment next Tuesday. She was helpful on the phone. Are you sure you're okay with me seeing your therapist? I mean you talked about me right?" Alex asked. Piper nodded.

"She is good and will not bring up my name or mention what I said. She is very professional and I think you're idea of working on things together would work too. I trust her," Piper offered as well. She was very happy Alex made the first step.

"She said if I feel uncomfortable she can recommend someone else or a group. So I made the appointment," Alex explained. Piper kissed her cheek and then she got in to her comfy clothes. She wasn't very sexy, but then again...she looked better in yoga pants and a sweatshirt than that god awful huge uniform. Alex wore a cute robe that made her look deliciously girly. Piper stared at her legs as she walked around ordering the food. She wished she didn't have to go to Toronto. She wanted to just hole up here and let the world just fuck off. Or better yet...take off and just go somewhere fun.

Maybe that could be arranged. She left her options opened. Alex held up a copy of _Even Cowgirls Get the Blues._ "Care to revisit this story with me after dinner?" Alex asked. Piper grinned.

"I thought you'd never ask. Do you object to Chinese in bed? Because I think we can eat, fuck, and read our way through the night. Maybe toss a sleep in there eventually..." Piper teased. Alex nodded but warned Piper not to make a mess on her new mattress. Piper rolled her eyes and went to get some towels just in case.

***I hope you're enjoying their time together trying to set themselves on the right path. It isn't easy to come home from any institution, especially an abusive one. I have really been touched by some of the reviews. Please, if you'd like more updates this week, review and share what you think about the story. OITNB is awe inspiring. Peace, FaeCym


	78. Chapter 78 Whole City of Worry

Piper awakened to a kiss. She smiled and opened her blue eyes to take in the form of her lover. Alex was dressed in a lovely long black sweater dress and was leaning down with her hair falling forward to frame her face. Piper fell to sleep in her arms but knew that Alex had moved out of the bed in the night. Still, she was happy they were still close as she fell to sleep.

"What time is it?" she asked as she sat up. Alex looked at the clock and told her it was almost 8:30. Piper hurried out of bed and headed towards the shower. She frowned realizing Alex had already showered.

"I need to meet Raven at my apartment soon. Are you coming with me?" Piper asked hopefully as she disappeared in to the bathroom with Alex walking behind her.

"No I have a meeting with my accountant, and then I have to walk Lorna through the closing procedures here. Taystee can show her most of it but I need to cover a few things," Alex said as she watched Piper peel off her tee shirt and slip in to the shower. Piper enjoyed the spray but immediately missed Alex.

"I wish you'd got me up earlier to shower with you. I enjoy that so much," Piper said as she started to soap up her body. She ran her hand down her stomach and bit her lip as she slipped her slippery fingers between her labia. They had made love for hours last night. Alex read to her afterwards until she fell to sleep. Piper had ridden Alex's face again and thankfully no one interrupted her joy this time. Alex watched Piper and moaned.

"I was going to...but you looked so sweet sleeping. Fuck Piper, you're such a clit tease. I have to leave in like five minutes or I'll miss my meeting," Alex's growled out in her sexy voice. Piper brought her other hand up to pinch and pull at her nipples.

"Oh you go ahead; I'll just make use of these wonderful shower attachments you have...enjoy your meeting. I'll see you at my place before noon right? We will need to get to the airport in time to go through security," Piper asked her in a quiet voice that was surprisingly even considering she was teasing her clit with deft fingers. Alex watched her hands intently. She squinted at Piper with frustration rolling off of her.

"Yes, I'll be there, with bag in hand...you think about the fact I'll make you pay for this," Alex threatened with a sweet smile. Piper just moaned out, getting closer to her pleasure. Alex watched as Piper's fingers got faster. She took a step towards the shower when she heard Nicky call out from the living room.

"Vause, come on! I am not paying him for time we fuck away being late," she said. Piper waved at Alex and she left the bathroom with a determined stride. Piper leaned against the wall of the shower, the rock felt rough against her back, but she didn't care. Her fingers continued their fast pace until she cried out into the open space. She jerked and whimpered letting the water wash over her like the wave of her pleasure. Piper straightened back up once she was finished and couldn't keep the grin off her face. She hoped Alex made her pay with her tongue.

Piper got ready and dressed in a nice business skirt and top. She wore heels and felt very professional. She had to meet with women from the writing workshop pretty much right after she arrived. Barring her plane not being late, she and Alex would have maybe an hour before they have dinner with them at the restaurant in her hotel. Raven changed the hotel but updated the women. She sent a text to Raven while shew as getting ready and told her to send the car to Alex's place to pick her up. She would have use of the publisher's car service all morning. Piper left the apartment via the back stairs and slipped in to the back seat. She had some important items to gather for her trip. She wanted to surprise Alex. The car made the quick shopping so much easier. She was able to buy the items she wanted and still get back to her apartment by ten-thirty. Raven was already there and she was on a call with Jennifer. Piper took over and got the rest of the report. She was doing great and Piper typed an email as they talked to their boss. She wanted Jennifer to get the recognition she deserved. Once she was done with work, Raven read through her messages. She checked her personal email and responded to a note left by her father. He told her that her mother had informed him that Alex was back in her life. He asked that she call him soon to talk and he told her he loved her.

She had a great dad.

Chaucer seemed to sense that she was going and he jumped in to her lap for love. She had missed him and spent a good twenty minutes just worshiping at the altar of her great cat. She kept looking out her window for Alex.

"Is she meeting you here? Eva is already in Toronto and she told me she'd meet you at your hotel," Raven told her. She mentioned Eva with care. Piper flashed her eyes over and smiled.

"How does my eye look?" Piper asked her outright. Raven had not really looked Piper in the eyes yet so she couldn't read her well. Raven looked over and shrugged. She smiled and her sweetness shown through. Piper smiled back and Chaucer seemed to purr a bit louder.

"It looks like you were popped in the eye. The makeup helps but your hair could do more. Mind if I help? I majored in theatre and am rather talented at it," Raven answered her. Piper laughed and told her about her common major.

"I did as well, but have at it. I'll have an artist meet me before the reading but I will start the workshop off with a tale of icy New York steps," she explained. Piper turned her chair so she could look at the window as Raven came over with her brush in hand. She was gentle and they talked about normal everyday things. Piper kept looking at the clock by the door. She would look over at the fist hole as well. The whimsical frame seemed a bit silly to her now.

She clenched her hand opened and then closed tightly. Raven finished and brought her a mirror. She had a side pony with her hair fixed just so to cover most of her face. It was easy and she was certain she could do it. Or Alex could help...just thinking of her Piper looked again out the window. It was nearly noon. She reached for her phone and called Alex's number. It rang until she got the voice mail. She left a brief message in what she hoped was an even tone.

Where was she? Piper tried to calmly pet Chaucer but he sensed her fear and was getting frisky as she petted him. She put him down before she had to cover claw marks all up her arm in addition to a bruise on her eye. Raven seemed to sense something was wrong and disappeared in to the dining room. Piper felt her stomach twist and she had to remind herself not to freak. She went into her office and made sure she had everything she car returned and she took her bags down. She felt dizzy as she saw them disappear in to the trunk.

"There is another person coming. She is late. I'm waiting on her, we can still get to JFK in plenty of time," she reassured. The driver, Oscar, agreed and switched to waiting mode. She walked back up to the apartment. Piper didn't check her phone. It was clutched in her hand. Alex didn't call or answer. She knew it probably meant Alex had bolted. She had decided that the trip was a bad idea and that was that. Piper refused to think anything happened to her. She couldn't go there. In their time apart, Piper had imagined every bad thing that could happen to Alex. Almost all of those grisly scenes stemmed from Alex being in prison. Piper now had a whole city of worry before her.

Yet she wasn't a scaredy cat and Alex was a very capable adult. She had put herself through hell to be free. She had shared more memories last night with Piper. She told her about her first month in Danbury. She didn't eat and had pretty much been slated as a suicide risk. She was nearly thrown in to the SHU but her bunkie, Becca, got her go to narcotics anonymous. She told Piper she nearly slipped and took drugs offered her by a crooked officer. She told her about how Louann told her that she couldn't take them. She told Alex that she was still someone and all she had to do was reach out to people there or on the outside. Alex had called her Aunt afterwards and started going to NA with her bunkie.

Piper took her jacket and hugged Raven goodbye. She started to tell her something to say if Alex showed but Piper didn't know what that could be...she smiled at her instead and asked her to give Chaucer some wet food tonight. Piper called her number as she stepped down the stoop towards the car. She heard the ringtone and saw her cute boots by the back of the car. Piper looked up and there stood Alex. She looked a bit frazzled. The driver was shutting the trunk as Piper walked in to her arms.

"You made it," Piper said. Her tone told Alex much more.

Alex looked at her with such intense eyes. She knew that being late wasn't a good idea with Piper's issues. "I put your number in my phone wrong. I called some woman named Gladys. I missed your call chasing a cab and it's all Nicky's fault, "Alex explained in a quick quiet voice. Piper exhaled all of her worry and forgave her instantly. She laughed and ducked into the back of the car. Alex slid in beside her. She explained she couldn't get a cab because Nicky was going to share one with her. She swore Nicky scared off the taxis on purpose. Or it could have been the fight with Lorna she was having on her phone while she tried to flag down a cab.

"Are they alright?" Piper asked. It was nice to know they still fought though. They could always hurt each other with a mere word.

"Well, I don't know you see I took off running, outpaced her and caught a cab on my own. I'll um call later," she insisted. Piper shook her head and sent them a kind wish for harmony. She knew Alex though, she was a seasoned traveler and knew exactly how long they had to get to the airport on time. She loved pulling her luggage in to the terminal with her. She had a stupid grin on her face while they waited in line. She remembered, as she always did, what it was like to do it with a bag of drug money. That sheer terror changed her...partly because she knew it was a fucking stupid thing to do but mostly because she was thrilled to have helped Alex.

They settled in to first class, an upgrade Piper paid for she held up her hand, "Yes I know it is a waste of money on such a short trip. First class is best for longer...blah blah blah...I'm only footing the upgrade. I want you to relax and have fun," Piper explained to Alex. Her lover nodded her head and stretched out her legs.

"Oh you'll never hear me complain to be in first class, Kid," she replied to Piper. Piper told Alex about her itinerary. She asked if she wanted to go with her to the workshop and Alex considered it.

"Yes, as long as we go for a long walk, weather provided, afterwards. That is tomorrow morning right?" she asked. Piper told her the workshop was from 10-1 with a luncheon at the last hour. Alex said she'd leave early and maybe meet her back at the hotel. They would go to the CN Tower. Piper liked that idea. They spent the rest of their two hour plane ride making plans. She was thrilled that Alex had never visited the city.

Coming in to another country, even one as familiar in tone as Canada, was always fun. Alex compared this trip to their other one on the West Coast. Piper wondered why they always visit in the winter. There was a driver at the terminal holding a sign with her name. Piper laughed as Alex rolled her eyes. The drive was fun and Piper had to admire the beauty of the city. It wasn't New York, but she loved the skyline.

Alex leaned over and kissed Piper's ear and nuzzled her hair gently. "I love this style by the way," she purred to Piper. Her body reacted instantly to the sound of that voice and she bit her lip.

"We are on time. So we should have about forty-five minutes before we meet them for dinner. The restaurant is amazing from what I read," Piper responded then she turned her head and kissed Alex's pulse...then she flicked her tongue out in a naughty fashion. She felt Alex pull her closer.

"I love it when we are on time. Nothing sexier...I've been thinking of you...this morning all day. I've dreamed many things to do to you," Alex warned with a quiet whisper against her ear. Piper shivered with thrilled delight and looked up with flashing blue eyes. Alex kissed her hair above her bruised eye softly. Piper bit her lip and wished the car would drive faster.

***Welcome to Canada! Please Review! I'm learning great things about Toronto and want to know what you think of the story, Peace FaeCym


	79. Chapter 79 Splurge on Love

The Shangri-La Hotel was amazing and Piper was thankful she switched the reservation. She really wanted this trip to be luxurious and fun. So much of her life with Alex had been crazy fun back then. They walked in to the hotel and there Piper saw Eva. She walked up to her smiling and looking her in the eyes.

"Hello Eva, good to see you," Piper said with a polite friendly tone. Alex stopped beside her and put her hand at the small of Piper's back. She closed her eyes a bit and relaxed. She so wanted to go to her room and show Alex how happy she was to be with her. Eva smiled politely but didn't look really at either of them.

"Hello Piper...Miss Vause," Eva began, Alex didn't correct her. She carried on, "The ladies you will be meeting for dinner, Ester and Samantha are from the Women As Writers Symposium. You know them on Twitter I think from a few tweets and I think you sat with Samantha on a panel in Boston?" Eva asked casually as they started to walk towards the elevator. Eva usually went in to the room with Piper to make sure it was to her liking. Piper wasn't sure she wanted that this time, so she stopped before elevator. Eva passed her the room keys and made sure their luggage was taken up.

"Yes I did, I remember her well, is why I agreed to dinner. Did you have time to go check the classroom?" Piper asked her. Alex was looking at the hotel lobby with interest. She kept close to Piper though and seemed to radiate impatience.

"Yes, it will have everything you want. I didn't load your sample because I didn't get it. I did load the book excerpts you gave me...it should be easy. I'll meet you there. Enjoy your evening ladies, " Eva said, taking the hint. She walked towards the stairwell. They said goodbye equally as polite. Alex chuckled as they got on the elevator. The Elevator was lovely and they were lucky enough to be alone on the elevator. The Owner's Suite was on the 17th floor. Piper hoped the view was all Raven had promised. She knew the suite was popular and she was lucky to have changed the reservations so late. She originally had them staying at the Hyatt where the writer's convention was housed. It was a great hotel but this one had a great view of the CN Tower. She gave Alex the key and she opened up the door. Piper pulled their bags inside and they enjoyed the glorious round foyer that led in to a wood paneled library. Alex turned and shot her eyebrows up.

"Your publisher loves you," she teased. Piper turned her head and shrugged some, then she looked up at Alex with her blue eyes bright.

"I want you to enjoy this weekend. I splurged and you're worth it. You've taken me all over the world Alex...no matter what we were doing there, you always made sure I had what I needed," Piper said to her. She came up behind her and put her arms around her stomach, holding Alex as they looked through the floor to ceiling windows out to the amazing view of Toronto, Canada's largest metropolis.

"I am having a total blast just being with you. Now...I am sure that bed is gorgeous but this couch...leather and perfect is calling our name," Alex said, turning in her arms. She kissed Piper with such passion that her knees weakened and she had to put her arms around her neck to keep upright. Alex took steps backwards as she deftly undressed Piper. Piper shook her head and pulled back...she turned at the last moment and pushed Alex on to the couch. She put her knee on the cushion right between her thighs and started to push up her amazing dress. Alex was her usual, gorgeous rockabilly inspired self with a bit business woman tossed in for an extremely sexy addition. Piper's eyes swept up her as she lowered her mouth to kiss Alex's neck. She soon was in her under clothes and Piper moaned seeing a hot corset number, red and black on her girlfriend's body. Alex laughed throwing her head back.

"Oh fuck that is exactly the reaction I hoped you'd have when I put this on...you were sleeping and I was torn, wanting you to wake up so I could see this look and making myself wait. You like? " Alex asked as she squirmed and reached up to push up her bra. Piper took off her clothing and placed it neatly on the Asian inspired table. Piper started kissing up her thighs and nuzzled the soft silky panties before she bit reached up and pulled them down, kissing each bit of flesh as it appeared to her, placing a special slow kiss on her already swollen need.

"I was an awful tease this morning...let me make it up to you..." Piper purred as she licked Alex's stomach in that one spot that makes her muscles jerk uncontrollably and her hips grind in that familiar inspiring rhythm that is all Alex. She made her way to her lips and kissed them as she looked at her in the eyes. It was a light electric kiss.

"Welcome to Toronto, thank you for coming with me...now please come with me," Piper teased in her the same way she had teased her so long ago. Alex moaned and put her hand on Piper's cheek. Her eyes were so dark with lust but Piper could see she was very happy to remember that day with her. Piper turned her head and kissed her palm, then lowered her mouth to the delightful task of pleasing Alex. She writhed on the couch like a gorgeous goddess; Piper held her around the hips and supported her up from the leather some. She was well versed in how to not ruin good leather while having sex. Piper wanted to get lost in the wet lushness of her lover but she was well aware of the time and so wanted to ride Alex for her own pleasure.

Piper raised her head and kissed up Alex, straddling her she pressed her sex to the exposed stomach. She squirmed her hips in fast thrusting need as she moaned on Alex's lips. Alex lifted her up and sat her beside her on the couch. Piper immediately wanted the contact again.

"No dear dear Piper. We haven't the time and um we need to clean up," Alex pointed out. Piper's eyes got wide, she could care less about the damn dinner, her body would not accept it wasn't going to get release.

"Please, we've got time, Please Alex...baby, I've wanted you since I woke up this morning...please," Piper said as she reached up and ran her hands in her lover's hair and pulled her down to kiss her. Alex went willingly and pressed Piper down. She kissed her slowly and sensually and Piper just squirmed. Alex laughed softly on her lips.

Then Piper understood, "Oh fuck no please Alex don't you dare...I was sooo good, come on, I made up for it as soon as I got you in the room, we didn't even make it to the bed. Come on baby...just let me have that soft thigh and kiss me, please..." Piper brought her hand up and squeezed Alex's breasts and rubbed the fabric of her lingerie until she felt the reaction she wanted. Alex pulled away and pressed her forehead to Pipers.

"I thought of many evil things to do to you. I thought about such things as teasing vibrators. I decided that making you suffer through dinner would be sufficient," Alex stood and pulled Piper up. She squinted at her and Alex smirked that sexy ass smile. Piper moaned, pleaded and begged as she was led by the hand in to the bathroom to freshen up. Alex took every opportunity to touch and tease Piper. They dressed and Alex slowly slipped her panties back on, bending to adjust her stockings. Piper murmured she would get her, but she was loving the denial. It really would make dinner more interesting. She was confident she would be professional, but she enjoyed the thrill of having Alex there. She enjoyed having a lover to give her lover's games to play.

They went down to the five star restaurant below. Piper had moved the dinner to this place and offered to foot the bill. She could write it off, impress her girl and enjoy fine dining near her comfy bed. She had plans for later because she knew Alex would get energized around midnight and want to go out into the city. It was brisk outside but more like a cold fall night than the winter weather recently hitting New York. She was pouting some but still took Alex's hand in hers. Alex moved closer to her as several business men got on the elevator. One of them, he screamed young corporate lawyer, he kept looking at Piper. Finally he asked if she was Piper Chapman and she nodded kindly.

"I enjoyed your book. A public defender friend of mine recommended I read it. I gave it to my wife and she enjoyed it as well," he looked at Alex and back to Piper. She smiled kindly and thanked him for his kind words. A couple of his friends ask him and he explained it was a memoir. One of them had heard of it too. Piper was kind and put on her public relations face. They all stepped out on the floor and walked down the right of the lovely lobby to the restaurant. She saw Samantha and a woman she didn't know waiting. Samantha Gomez was a strikingly lovely Latina woman with the brightest smile. She wasn't a runner like Piper but she loved to play soccer. She had a wonderful aura about her and if she wasn't totally in to Alex, she would have found Samantha attractive. Samantha had adopted two beautiful children and they were the pride of her life. She was a much sought after political writer and had written a book very critical of the nation's prison system. She knew Ester Long was an author of young adult literature. She was an older woman with salt and pepper hair and vibrant young blue eyes. She smiled and shook Piper's hand with enthusiasm.

"This is my girlfriend, Alex, " Piper said introducing her to the women. Alex looked at her and smiled. She turned and smiled her confident smile that set Piper's heart a flutter. Samantha grinned back and Piper saw in her eyes the same question she saw on the elevator. She did not mention in her book that she and Larry had broken up a year after she got out. She ended her memoir when she got out of the halfway house. She was asked often about him and she always said he is doing well but they are not together anymore. If she is pressed, she had hinted that it was her fault, adjusting from being in prison. She had discussed lesbian sex in her memoir but left her involvement out of it. She wrote about having a fiancé and about her friends inside. She wrote about how things were different for her and how she was not the norm. Piper wrote about the amazing women that taught her so much and shared their stories. The common theme was the uselessness of this punitive system and the damage it did to the lives of not just the prisoners. The question in everyone's eyes was simple. Was Alex the woman in her book that helped to get her indicted? She never stated whether "Nora" named her in her book.

Samantha asked some questions about how long they've dated. Piper told her that they had just recently started and then changed the subject subtly to ask her about her kids. Ester shared with Alex the workshops she was conducting. This was a major workshop to assist and promote writers. Each genre was represented. Piper would be focusing on how to writing memoirs.

"What do you do Alex?" Ester asked politely as their food arrived. Piper had ordered the Seared Quebec Foie Gras and Alex the Albacore tuna.

"I own a bookstore," Alex said easily. The writers both looked at Piper with renewed respect. She grinned. Both women were Canadian and delightful. Piper still found herself watching Alex with longing. Once she saw Ester grinning at her with knowing eyes. Piper blushed some and sipped the magnificent wine. Bosk was known for its superb wine cellar. Piper whispered to the waiter to have a bottle of the Matto Pinot Grigio to be taken to the room for later. Piper told them about her class. Each expressed an interest in attending but would be teaching at the same time. Alex looked at her with such a look of pride that Piper felt her very core radiate happiness. They said goodnight and headed back to their room. When they got in to the elevator, Alex put her arms around her and started kissing her neck. Piper leaned against her and Alex draped her coat in front of them. It covered her hand that snuck down Piper's skirt to play with her labia softly. She teased Piper more and she had to be still. When they were alone on the elevator, Piper moaned and squirmed against her with wanton abandonment. She nearly growled out in frustration as the doors opened on their floor. Alex pulled her from the lift and walked briskly with her to the room. This time Alex walked her to the huge king size bed. The suite was lovely and the bed perfect. She turned and fell on to it with Piper. They laughed and kissed.

"You, are so hot when you talk your work. I can't tell which I like more, the businessy one that edits releases and sets up benefits or the writer/activist. I just know you are the sexiest woman on the planet when you can't keep your eyes off my lips," she spoke as she helped herself to Piper's neck. Piper squirmed and pressed herself to Alex. They were pulling off clothing in frantic need.

"You're fault, fuck me please...oh baby...oh Alex," Piper pleaded in her thick husky voice. Alex was happy to oblige. She kissed her inner thigh and teased Piper with brushing her lips across her exposed need. Piper squirmed and pulled at her hair. Alex took her by her wrist and held them down. She then sunk her lips and face into Piper's sopping need. She knew just hot to lick at Piper to drive her wild. Alex would go mad with her movement, and then slow it until Piper was aching. Her need grew and grew until Piper was screaming, "I'm cumming, I'm cummminggg...of fuck baby!"

Alex held on as Piper lost it. She bucked and turned so that Alex had to rise up with her. She moved her lips away after she had sent Piper over the edge twice. She cuddled her close and got up when the wine arrived. She poured them a cool glass and they enjoyed a soft snuggle while looking out at the amazing view.

"We will have a car here in an hour or so from now, to go out," Piper started. Alex looked at her with a smile that let her know she was thinking about just that. "Gravity. I heard it had great music on Wednesday nights. I want to dance with you for at least a couple of hours. I do have to be up and out of here by 9am but I still think we can dance away most of the night."

Alex beamed. Piper knew she had packed something to wear out. They both got up and went through what they brought. Each wore a different dress, Piper was in a deep burgundydress. It was low cut in the back and Alex loved it. She wore an amazing long black dress that was cut just low enough to showcase her softest orbs.

They went out and immediately loved the Wayback Wednesday music they offered. Alex bought them a drink and they walked about the club and enjoyed the people. Piper saw many of them were a young but there was a professional crowd in the lounge area. Once the music started playing in earnest, the floors filled. Piper moved in unison with Alex and let the joy take her. They weren't the only same sex couple there, but as usual they attracted attention. Alex glared a couple of guys away. One of the problems with mixed clubs was the drunk guys that thought all women dancing together were just waiting on the right man between them. She had to admit though, it happened less in polite Canada.

They danced together to awesome mixes by a rocking female DJ. She combined music from their entire relationship as it the music went back years. They danced to slower mixes achingly close to one another. They moved in sequence, hips swaying in a way that was both sensual and poetic. The music led them to their happiest memories as only music can do. Piper switched to water after the second drink. She didn't want to take the chance with feeling bad tomorrow. Alex switched as well and they danced until she saw Piper getting a bit tired. They walked out and Piper called a car. They laughed as they walked out. Alex kissed her neck as they rode back to the hotel.

"Thank you for a perfect day. I can't wait for tomorrow," Alex whispered. Once back in their room, Alex undressed her before the open window, high above the city. She pressed Piper against the cool glass and turned her until she was pressed against it. Her nipples here so achingly hard Piper worried they would cut the glass. Alex was relentless with her teasing of Piper's clit. Soon, Piper was being fucked properly. Alex thrusts her hips in time with her talented hand. She grind against Piper and together they came crying out in to their room. The view of the tower and the city skyline was perfect to her. She turned and clung to Alex. She looked her in the eye and Alex lifted her up. She pressed Piper against the glass and she wrapped her legs around her sturdy frame. Alex kissed her and told her how much she loved being with her as she carried Piper to the bed. They fell to sleep wrapped around each other not talking but looking at each other as their eyes grew heavy. That night neither woman dreamed and slept covered up under the plush blankets in a cocoon of warmth.

***You all are wonderful! I love my reviews. I hope all are enjoying the ladies traveling together. Piper is really trying to treat Alex right and I hope it shows. Please review if you'd like to read more. Enjoy your weekend. Peace, Fae


	80. Chapter 80 Fuck 'em

It was almost five in the morning when Alex sat up in bed and yelled, "No!" Piper jerked awake but stayed still in warmth of the bed.

"Shhhh its okay Alex... Alex, I'm here, you're with me in the hotel, everything is fine and we are safe," Piper soothed with her voice. Alex looked around the room and out the windows to the cityscape below. She looked over to Piper and ran her hands up her softly, looking in detail at her face.

"You just jolted awake. I didn't panic and act stupid this time. See...told you...come back down here and warm me," she smiled up as she said it and moved the covers back some. Alex fell in to her slot behind Piper and wrapped her arm over her stomach and slid the other under her pillow to cradle her head. Piper pressed back against her and felt her heart slowly calm. Piper closed her eyes, it was early yet and she didn't need to get out of bed for a few hours. She wanted to work out in the great gym they had downstairs before her long day.

"I was at Danbury for this one...I am frequently there except when it is about...you know. It is a lot like Litchfield, so sometimes the inmates get all mixed up. But I see you sometimes; just a glimpse and I can't find you there. It's stupid. But I'm scared for you, I think you've been taken or hurt," Alex whispered against her hair. Piper slipped her hand into Alex's grip. She loved how her hands were a bit more textured now from her woodworking.

"I had those dreams, but you were usually in that fucking dryer. Sometimes I can't get to you because Henton is...doing his thing to me. I still have them but not as much. Last time was in LA on the tour. I was visiting a prison while there," Piper admitted. "Now though, when you wake, you can feel me in your arms." Piper scooted over a bit as she said it and turned. She kissed Alex and they stared into each other's eyes in the early light of morning.

Alex leaned in and kissed her again. "Waking next to you is a miracle I can't believe is real. Be patient while I try to believe," Alex whispered. Piper nodded and put her hand in her hair.

"I'm not going anywhere. Are you?" Piper asked. She hadn't planned on asking it had slipped out of her mouth. She lowered her eyes, breaking contact for the first time since she turned around. Alex pulled her close and kissed her neck. Alex nuzzled in to hair.

"I am not planning on leaving you. I am just wary of promises. I doubt myself because; fuck Piper, why didn't I just call Roger? Why did I believe the worst possible thing about you? You had done nothing but be there for me. We just didn't communicate well...we were still oppressed by the..." Alex stopped talking when Piper put her fingers on her lips.

"Don't be afraid of a promise to me now. Look at all the shit...the government...ourselves...other people that claim to love us...all of them tried to stop us. Look at us now...I'm in your arms, you're in my arms, fuck 'em." Piper replied.

"Fuck 'em," Alex repeated. Piper kissed her with tender passion. Each of them slid their hands down to touch and stroke. Piper kept kissing her, not letting her pull back. Alex could see that she wanted both of them to come together. She slowed her fingers, she knew just how to make Piper explode quick. She took her time and built up Piper's pleasure with deft long fingers. Piper loved her fingers. They moved their hips in alternating thrusts. Piper started to groan on her lips continually as she found it hard to think. Alex laughed on her kiss and told her she was the most beautiful woman in the world.

"Come with me, do it...oh fuck Piper so much lo..uhnnn," Alex lost her mind as they fell over and screamed their passion out. Piper's eyes flew open even as she spasmed to watch Alex as she lost herself. Piper knew she wanted to cause that look on her face forever. Alex opened her lust dark eyes and grinned at her in that way that made Piper's heart jump. Piper started talking to her softly, telling her about when she returned from Europe and started working in LA. She told Alex about the first girl she dated after her and her thought process as she tried to move on. She then compared it to when they were separated when she got out. She explained how different she felt now and how the inevitability of their love had become a truth she no longer had the strength to deny.

"Do you remember when we got the place in Paris and you were so busy setting up your business? I was setting up the kitchen and unpacking. Our toaster oven had that broken handle...I pestered you for two hours to go out with me and buy a new one. You got so grump you lectured me about how hard you worked for our money and surely you could fix the damn thing. I just had to give you time, " Piper remembered.

"Um that is one way to look at it...you were obsessed with making breakfast. You had to have a toasted English muffin and wouldn't even consider going out," Alex corrected her. Piper waved her hand dismissing it with a wrist.

"Yes well, I got determined and got out that glue gun. I just knew I could fix the handle and out the cord cover back on so it would work in the outlet. I sat for five hours, burning myself and cursing while you worked...and laughed at me. Eventually, we both laughed and you stopped working to watch. What did we have for lunch that day Alex?" Piper asked as she ran her nails up her back in a teasing soft manner.

"Toasted English muffins with peanut butter," Alex recalled. She kissed Piper and grinned on her lips. "Is there a point to this walk down memory lane?"

"Yes, trust me. Sometimes I can get us toast by my own pure, stubborn will. Trust me, promises we make to each other are sacred. You've kept all your promises to me, our doubt causes most of our pain," Piper replied and then she kissed her woman with surety and love. Alex seemed to melt in her arms and for the first time in a long time, Piper just cradled her to her chest. Alex relaxed and let herself be totally comforted by the woman she loved.

They got up sometime later and went down to work out. Piper started by stretching then moved to the bikes. Once she got her heart rate up she moved to the eliptical machine. Alex she noted did much the same but warmed up on the elipticle and moved to the punching bag. Piper was facinated watching her as she ran on her machine. One side of the wall before her was all mirrors. She could watch Alex punch the bag and move her feet. She knew Alex had boxed to work out. She told her she started it when she first moved to Vermont. It wasn't encouraged much in prison as they didn't like the violent nature of the workout. Piper guessed that is why Alex started doing it again. Her woman had wrapped her hands quickly and picked up the gloves with an ease that told Piper she did it many times a week. She nearly lost her running rhythm when she focused on the sweat that poured down her ripped back. She had to move her eyes away from Alex's body and focus on her day ahead. It was hard. She wondered if they should work out together.

Forty-five minutes later, they were sweaty and on their way back up to the room. The hotel was just waking and Piper felt her whole body hum with endorphins and lust. She pinned Alex to the side of the elevator and kissed her thoroughly.

"Working out with you is so fucking hot, why didn't we do this before?" Alex asked as she pulled back from her hungry mouth and pressed her forehead to Piper.

"You didn't work out dear; you did X, smoked and drank bourbon. I didn't either really, we were a bit younger then and it was easier to look good," Piper joked. Alex laughed agreeing with her. The elevator opened and Eva stood there before them. She was dressed professionally but seemed hesitant to step on the elevator. Piper leaned up but didn't move away from Alex.

"Good morning, Eva! I take it you were on your way to the Hyatt?" Piper asked in a friendly tone. Eva nodded her hello and agreed as she stepped on the elevator.

"You do a great job Eva. Piper feels relaxed enough to work out, go to dinner with colleagues...all of it because you take care of the details," Alex shared. Eva looked over at her to see if perhaps she was being sarcastic. She met Alex's eyes and nodded accepting her kind words.

"Piper is a dream to work with; she is always on time, doesn't make crazy demands and is passionate about her book and message. I am going to miss working with her one on one. We have a few more signings around New York, and then the official tour is done." Eva responded. The elevator continued to take them up to Piper and Alex's floor.

Piper looked at the two of them as they discussed her like she wasn't standing right there. She frowned at the posturing. She was about to say something when Alex tightened her arm around her in a way that said to hush.

"She told me how much she appreciated your work, didn't you dear?" Alex asked. Piper smiled and nodded. "She also told me about your date and kiss. I'm sorry if my return put a damper on any other plans..well no I'm not really sorry about that. But I do regret if you were hurt. I can't blame anyone for being interested in Piper. She is fantastic." Alex tightened her arms around her as she spoke. Eva looked at Piper and then back at Alex.

"Yes, don't worry it was nothing. Here is your floor, I'll see you both later." Eva said and they could tell she was happy to have the elevator get her out of the conversation. Alex smiled and walked Piper off. She kept her arm around her as they went to the door. Piper just shook her head as they walked inside. She pulled Alex to the shower and turned to undress her.

"You are possessive. You used to be more reserved about it. I have a theory though," Piper said as she peeled Alex's workout clothes off of her.

"Oh?" Alex queried. She helped Piper out of her clothes as well.

"Yes, you are more possessive of me because you've had to share me before and you don't want to do that again." Piper stated. She stepped into the shower and the water felt amazing. Alex stood on the plush carpet before the shower and nodded as she thought about what she said. Alex joined her in the shower and pulled her close.

"I think you are very astute. Here, let me wash that hair...do you know how sexy you look as you jog? Your titties sho are pretty when you jog, my dandelion girl." Alex teased. Piper snorted and smacked her arm. They kissed under the spray then she washed her hair. Piper murmured about how sexy she looked punching that bag and how her chiseled arms just made Piper's body sing. After they washed, Alex sank to her knees. She told Piper how she was going to be amazing at the workshop today, then she licked her sex. Piper moaned leaning back against the cool tiled wall of the shower. She put her hand in the wet hair of Alex and lost herself. Alex raised her head and looked up her body, then told her how they were going to go do touristy things after her workshop. Piper grinned and resisted the urge to push Alex's mouth back to her wetness. Alex pressed her talented lips to her pleasure again. Piper squirmed and moaned flowing closer and closer to release. Alex again teased her and pulled her lips away. Piper whimpered and tried to push her head back. Alex then told her how much she was looking forward to the banquet and dressing up again with her. Piper whimpered more and Alex gave in and pleased her woman. She flicked her tongue with a fast dabbing pace to cause Piper to cry out coming hard on her mouth. Alex swallowed and shook her head, the movement making Piper come again and clutch on to the side of the shower.

Alex was up in a shot, to steady Piper. They kissed and Piper licked at her lips. They moved out of the shower and didn't get too far before Piper pushed Alex to the floor. There, wet on the carpet just outside the bathroom door, Piper slid her fingers into Alex and thrust her hips against her hand. She watched as Alex arched her back and clenched down.

"You are a terrible tease. I love it. You love it...it drives you insane to make me wait ...and wait...doesn't it?" Piper said as each word was punctuated with a thrust of her hips and pumping of her wrist. Alex reached up to hold Piper's head in her hands. She never lost eye contact as Piper's hands and body sent her flying. They both lie down panting on the carpet. Then they started to giggle...they were like horny college students. Piper snorted and laughed so hard she clutched her sides.

"We are worse now than when we first got together!" Alex gasped out. Piper had to nod in agreement. She told her it was just they were on vacation and new to one another again. Yet, she couldn't say she didn't want it to continue.

"I was celibate for a long time. I'm just making up for lost time." Piper teased. Alex looked down then back up at her. Piper knew she'd slept with women since they'd been apart. She was reasonably sure it wasn't Louann and anyone she was with was either still in prison or out of the picture. She felt assured of this because of Alex's actions. It was enough for her now to have this time. She hoped her plans this weekend set them on the right path for the rest of their life together.

They got dressed together. Getting ready to go out in a hotel room was something as familiar to them as eating out or seeing the sights. Piper wore a dark blue professional suit and Alex another black dress. It wasn't as revealing and her thick grey tights looked great in her boots. She was dressed to walk around and take in the city but Piper drooled as she saw the amazing set corseted top and red lace panty set she put on underneath. It was another set of breath stopping lingerie. Alex couldn't help but grin at Piper's moan.

Piper knew Alex was much more excited about their time together in the afternoon than she was the workshop. She asked Alex to go down and order them breakfast. They would eat before they took the car to the Hyatt. She worked at the desk getting ready for her class. Alex kissed her goodbye and told her she'd see her in a few.

Once she was gone, Piper typed out the excerpt she needed then put Alex's surprise on the bed with a handwritten note. "For your reading pleasure, I'll meet you here soon for sightseeing." Piper then took up her briefcase and headed down to breakfast.

Alex ordered the European breakfast for herself and the Continental for Piper. Each had the best fresh juice and French press coffee as part of it. Alex enjoyed her cold cuts and sliced apple. Piper chose two fresh artisan pastries and tore one croissant to feed it to Alex. They were totally into one another and oblivious to the room around them. Once finished, they left the hotel to find their car waiting patiently. Alex opened the door after waving the driver away. Piper grinned back at her and made a cute comment about how getting laid numerous times in a morning made her more gallant. Alex had to agree.

Once at the hotel Piper was ushered inside by Eva. She gave Piper three documents. Apparently she had to be presented as a guest teacher at an early gathering. It wasn't on the itinerary but Piper had expected it.

"Do they want me to do a reading?" Piper asked. Eva shook her head and said that she uploaded video from Piper reading at Danbury. Piper looked back at Alex. Alex just nodded at her to tell her that it was alright. They went to the room and Alex kissed her cheek for luck. Piper winked at her.

"Miss Vause, you have a seat on the left side, fourth row." Eva directed. Alex nodded and went inside the small auditorium. The room was packed full. Piper went up on the stage and smiled her public relations smile. There was applause and the convention was officially opened. Each guest author got a brief three minute intro. Piper enjoyed what they said about her because she knew Eva had written it. She wasn't the only one that had video of a reading, but when the camera spanned out and they saw it was a prison, there was a reaction in the crowd. Her eyes went to Alex and she saw her staring at the video. She remembered looking in the crowd for her when she visited Danbury. Piper stood and took her applause and the microphone. She thanked everyone for their kind welcome and said she hoped her workshop was informative. Once they had all spoken, Piper was ushered out the back and into her room to do the workshop. She looked for Alex and Eva told her she'd escort her inside. Piper saw another seat was marked reserved. Everything was in place and she was more nervous knowing Alex was there. Still, she pushed her nerves aside for a later time when she really had something to be worried about. She knew Alex would think she was great no matter. Piper put in the excerpt she wanted and cued up the projector on to the huge pull down screen. The room was filled with tables so each person could have their own space to write. Piper also had it arranged where they could move up into a circle of chairs and share at the end. People filed inside and Alex was in the middle of the crowd. She clutched her bag as she sat down and watched as writers pulled out notepads, iPads and laptops. Piper was introduced again by Eva and then she took over the class. Piper had wanted to teach when she was at Litchfield. She enjoyed instructing people and finding away to teach them what they need to know. She told them a bit more about herself. She explained as she had so many times about her criminal past. She told them she met a brilliant, experienced older woman and fell in love. She told them she committed a crime for her and they had both went to prison. She explained that when she got out of prison everyone wanted to know about her experience. She said her engagement fell apart and her mental state dictated that she deal with her past. She did so by examining the experience in a memoir. She used the letters she wrote and those from friends. She also used her own journal.

"This is what I suggest you do. Try to keep a journal each day and share your feelings. What I had a hard time doing was going back after I pieced together the dates and order of events that happened. I could remember big events but not really access my emotions over them. Now, I was suffering from PTSD. Things happened to me that I didn't write in this book," Piper admitted. Eva looked up at her and so did others. Piper hadn't really told anyone that.

"I was abused more than I wrote about and I didn't share those details because it was too hard. I was also protecting people that were still inside. Writing my memoir helped me to process. Please understand though, it is exposing your inner most thoughts. There is no character to work out your issues. You are the character. Your life is the plot and what you choose to share will live with you always." Piper told them. She paused and let that settle over the room.

"Now I did keep a journal while inside. I kept one that I wrote in the beginning on the suggestion of a pen pal friend. I wasn't very good at keeping it though. However, as I was approaching release, I started to keep a journal that was more personal. I wrote as a letter to someone I cared for," Piper said to them. She darted a glance at Alex. Alex was riveted. She sat up in her seat and leaned forward. Piper punched a few buttons to progress the power point. It was dated two days before she got out.

_Dear-, _

_I leave soon. You gave me back my flowers and I am so worried about you. Promise me you'll be careful my love. _

_Your words are all I've have for a long while and without them I'll perish. Our love is a lot like these flowers, given with love and kept safe until we could handle it again. _

_You mean everything to me. Please stay safe..if my freedom comes at your expense...if you end up gone like T-, I promise I won't be far behind. _

_I've never written or felt anything like that before, it scares me . Please -, stay safe. _

_P_

_Piper read the journal excerpt out loud. She could hear the murmuring about the room. She looked over to Alex and pointed to her purse. Alex opened it and pulled out a folded note. Piper had slipped it inside while Alex was using the bathroom that morning. She watched Alex unfold it. The note read, "When I head to the luncheon and you go back to our room, be prepared to have some reading material. I apologize for the desperate nature of the journal entries. I was writing them as we slowly counted down the end of my sentence with you. I'll be back as soon as I'm done with the workshop. Love, P"_

_Alex looked up at her and Piper wished she was closer to see her expression. Piper took questions about the journals. One person asked her if she shared her love affair with her fiance at the time. _

_"He was aware of everything. But that aside, you see why one must choose what they write about with care? How could this pain benefit the readers of my memoir? Also, please be sure to speak to your family in detail. I didn't publish before I knew how my parents felt about the world knowing their eldest daughter did time." Piper replied. She then gave them the assignment to write about a difficult part of their past. She asked them to give details first, just to tell about it as an observer. She walked around and bent to answer questions. Alex watched her as she walked amongst the women. She made her way to Alex and bent down to kiss her cheek. _

_"You're amazing," Alex breathed out, " The package I never got?" She asked softly, her eyes darting to the words still up on screen. Piper nodded and moved on. The workshop went well as she urged them to add feelings. She spoke a little about not getting in to the same pattern with sharing dialogue. The samples were all very touching. Piper would have read any of the memoirs shared. The time was finished and she thanked them all for being a great class. They applauded and none were as loud as Alex. Piper slipped out of the workshop room and Eva ushered her into a small office right away. Piper had learned that if she is visible for too long she will be late to her next event. Each writer wanted more time or advice. Piper loved helping but it could be exhausting. Eva told her to wait right there and exited to go get Alex. Piper was nervous as she waited. She had decided to share the excerpts with her. It had still been hard to open the package and take out the papers. She had all of her other letters in bound notebooks. Piper used them as resources for her book. She chose that one to share because she knew Alex would recognize the date. Piper put it back with the rest of them and had placed the envelop on Alex's pillow. _

_Alex came in behind Eva. Eva told Piper the luncheon began in five minutes and then she left them alone. Piper stood and hugged Alex close. _

_"You're amazing. I...can't believe you wrote that to me. Piper. Oh my Piper, " Alex said as she kissed her. Piper smiled on her lips and shrugged it away. _

_"I want you to read them and we can talk about it later. We can talk about it as we walk to the CN Tower." Piper suggested. Alex kissed her eyelids and nodded. Piper watched her swallow down her emotion and she hugged her more tightly. Alex peeled herself away and they walked out of the room holding hands. Now Piper noticed others watched them. She had revealed so much to them that it was obvious to those in her workshop that Alex was someone she cared about. She walked her to the door of the hotel as Eva hovered off to the side. Twice, Piper noticed she headed off fans that tried to approach them. She was polite and told them Piper would be signing some books at the luncheon. Piper kissed Alex goodbye. She knew some took photos but that was fine with her. Alex whispered she'd see her soon and left the lobby. Piper watched her leave and hail a cab. She then turned and walked over to Eva. She had a goofy grin on her face. _

_"You are rather adorable in love, Piper," Eva admitted. Piper laughed and hooked her arm in hers. They walked towards the dining room. _

_"Thanks. That was scary. I admit it. I'm still scared as she is now reading that package," Piper said to Eva. Her eyebrows shot up and asked if she meant the one on her desk at home. "Yes, but now it is at the hotel room waiting on Alex." _

_Eva patted her arm, "If it is as raw and beautiful as what you shared, she is going to fall totally in love with you all over again," she predicted. Piper smiled and hoped she was right. She was scared the emotion would be too much for Alex. She just had to have faith in the love they'd built. It was vital to Piper's plans that they grow in their surety of one another. _


	81. Chapter 81Saved Each Other

The makeup artist had touched up her makeup before she went in to the introduction. She did so again right before Piper went in to the luncheon. She would be closer to everyone and though her hairstyle did make it hard to see, if you looked closely you could have been able to tell her face was bruised. Samantha did notice and Piper told her about falling on the icy stairs. Piper was anxious through the whole meal. She was recognized while there and given an achievement award. She was truly touched. She answered more than one question at her table about Alex. She told them she was her girlfriend and very precious to her. It was Ester that finally asked outright if she was the woman that gave Piper the bag of money to transport. Piper just smiled and said "maybe". It was obvious from then on that Piper wasn't going to share anymore personal information with them.

Walking out Eva said, "You handled that room like a professional. The banquet will be at another hotel at 8PM. You are the guest of honor amongst correctional and parole officers. I think there may be a warden or two tossed in there as well. They have been able to avoid our sentencing fiascoes and are wary of following the path of the US. Here are some current facts. Simply put, they don't incarcerate for trivial non-violent crimes. However, their facilities are aging and there is a push to build more." She gave Piper some talking points to look over before the banquet. Piper asked her if she was going to share the car back to the hotel and Eva told her she was meeting a friend for after lunch drinks. She smiled and nodded to her then she shut the door. She didn't really look out the window much as she rode. She felt kind of sick to her stomach. She had picked at her food because she couldn't help but wonder what Alex thought of all of her journals. Maybe it was too much to remind her of that time? Maybe she had decided Piper _was_ moving too fast? Piper arrived, thanked the driver and went right up to their room. She let herself in with the key and stood at the door watching Alex read. She had a plate on the desk with a half eaten hamburger. Beside her was a pile of tissues all scrunched up and Alex was holding another in her hand.

Piper cleared her throat and Alex looked up at her with red wet eyes. She opened her arms and patted her lap. Piper dropped her briefcase and moved to sit on her lap. She snuggled in to her and looked at the page. She was reading the ones near the end. Piper just closed her eyes and let Alex finish them. The last one was the one she sent, begging her to add her to her list.

"Fuck you dead Larry," she mumbled as she read it. Alex put the journal down on the desk and Piper kissed her neck. She held her for awhile not saying anything else. Piper whispered she was surprised it took her so long to read them. Alex told her she ate first and put it off because she knew it would make her emotional.

"You didn't have to read them now, I'm sorry if you felt I pressured you to read them," Piper apologized. Alex just shook her head and when Piper picked up her head she could see Alex was crying. Piper leaned forward and kissed each of her cheeks and wiped away the trail of tears down her face.

"No, I'm glad I did. Oh Piper, you...your words are so touching, so honest. I wish we could speak that way to each other better face to face. I had to stop periodically and try to recall what it was I wrote you or what had happened that day. It amazes me to know that you felt the same desperation I felt. I remember being so damn jealous of Stacy. She was great after you left but before...I just wanted to her to be out of my bunk and to keep her eyes to herself. I...didn't realize how much Nicky..." Alex began. Piper put her finger against her lip.

"I love Nicky. I hate that you fucked around with her some and I hate that she got to be there for you when I couldn't. I am also glad she could be there so you aren't alone. I know the two of you are very close now. When I heard what she did for you...with Dawson...I was touched to my core." Piper whispered back to her. Alex nodded and kissed her with a soft reverence. They held each other and whispered back and forth. Alex told her which journals broke her heart and which ones made her laugh. Piper explained how she would write at night when she couldn't sleep. It was sweet and amazing to spend that time reliving her last days with Alex at Litchfield. Eventually, Alex was smiling and all the tears gone.

"I love the way you love me woman," Alex finally said. Piper smiled at her and rose. She went to get dressed in more casual clothes for their sightseeing. She and Alex left hand in hand. They walked towards the CN Tower.

"It is the world's largest tower. It was built in three years in the seventies. Lightening strikes it about 75 times a year, but we should be safe today, " Alex teased. Piper could tell she'd done some research. The line wasn't that long and they were soon in the fast glass elevator shooting up to the observation deck. They ooed and awwwed with the rest of the tourists and took cute selfies with the Toronto skyline behind them. Piper sent one to Polly and Alex sent one to Nicky. Piper asked her if she called Nicky and she said she spoke to her in the cab on the way back to the hotel. She said Nicky and Lorna made up but Nicky had to spend the night on the couch in their apartment. They stopped in at the 360 restaurant and Piper got a small salad. She was getting hungry. Alex insisted on paying for the food and their drinks. They left the tower beaming and hell bent to walk around and enough the feel of the city. They walked down University Avenue and darted in to the Art Gallery of Ontario.

Alex looked at certain paintings and Piper was reminded how much her lover enjoyed art. "We will have to rebuild your collection," Piper said to her as she wrapped her arm around her stomach. They spent a couple of hours there discussing art. Alex was a fountain of information and the young gallery worker was a little bit enthralled with her. Piper just held her hand and moved about the gallery with Alex. She was just thrilled to be with her. They took a cab down to the waterfront and enjoyed a few shops. Alex insisted on stopping in a Tom Hortons for a doughnut. Piper giggled as she sipped her hot coffee and watched Alex lick her fingers clean after her sweet indulgence.

They returned in time to see the sun set from their room. Alex peeled Piper out of her clothing. Piper did the same. She whimpered deep in her throat to see her sexy girlfriend in the red lingerie. She couldn't decide if she liked it more than the one from last night.

Alex pulled Piper over and sat with her on the bed, their legs open so they sat close. She watched Piper against the skyline and the falling sun as she used her fingers to please her. Piper cried out and clung to Alex as she came. She hoped it was a memory Alex could cradle and use to chase away any demons her journals may have awakened. Piper pushed Alex back and kissed down her body. She spent a long time loving each breast. She sucked and flicked the nipples until Alex couldn't lie still. She was almost undone by the time Piper finally lowered her mouth to drink her. She whispered on her swollen clit that she loved how much making love to her. Alex soon was growling and begging Piper. She wished she had the ability to tease her like Alex could tease. Piper always gave in when her mouth was down there and delved in for the delight of Alex shuddering.

They cuddled together for a short while before getting up, showering and getting ready for the banquet. Alex still wore a sexy set of black underwear over a green gown. It was conservative enough to be appropriate but still showcased her awesome arms and legs. Piper wore a grey dress that shimmered as she walked. Alex couldn't take her eyes off of her. Piper did her makeup and hair to hide her bruise. It was beginning to fade. Alex still walked over and bent down to kiss her eye before Piper started her makeup. She smiled up at her and winked to show she was fine. There was a knock on the door and Alex opened it to the makeup artist and Eva. They both entered and admired their room. Piper looked in the mirror of the dressing table and waved them on inside. Alex played hostess and took their coats. Piper liked the feeling of them hosting someone in their space. It reminded her of when they gave their first party at Alex's old New York apartment. She had felt then like they were playing house. She could think of nothing she'd enjoy more than doing just that with Alex. The artist, her name was Janet, did quick professional work. Piper thanked her and gave her a fifty dollar tip. Eva frowned at her because Piper was sure she'd already given her one. Yet Piper only smiled. Alex had taught her well when it came to giving tips to the help. If you want their discretion and good service, make it worth their time.

They all walked down together. Piper had read over her notes and felt able to speak to the facts during the meal. She didn't have to speak but she knew there would be conversation after the speaker. It was the Attorney General of Canada, Tom McKay. Piper was thrilled and shared that information with Alex in the car. Her eyes got wide and Piper laughed as she checked her makeup in a compact. Eva just smiled as the car arrived. They were ushered directly inside and Eva took their coats. Piper and her guest had seats at the head table. Alex couldn't believe where they were sitting. Piper just grinned at her and leaned over to whisper, "Sometimes, when you're honest about your mistakes and try to use them to help people...crime can pay." Alex laughed agreeing.

The AG talked on for too long and Piper had to struggle to seem interested. He shared lots of facts and basically said Canada was doing more right and the USA was doing much wrong. Piper couldn't argue with him on that regard. Somehow though, if she spent too much time in Canada, she always felt like she had to defend her country. Both countries are amazing and she knew it couldn't be easy to be geographically attached to America with all of her fucked up glory. Piper was just happy to be so close to a country that at least tried to conduct their government with peace in mind. If she didn't love New York so much she would have fled the US. She couldn't defend the asinine policies that sent so many to jail...especially the mandatory sentencing. All she could do was raise the awareness in the US and hope that politicians took up the cause.

The meal was super. Piper had the fresh salmon and Alex ate the chicken Marsala. They talked to those around them, names and faces, mostly men that were involved in the criminal justice system.

"Miss Vause, are you an activist as well or are you just here to support your girlfriend?" Alan Jones, a correctional officer asked. Alex swallowed her food and took a sip of her wine. Piper started to answer for her but Alex shook her head some to show Piper she knew what she wanted to say.

"I do hire prisoners in my store but no I am not the activist that Piper has become. I am an ex-con though and these events fascinate me. I'm lucky I can still vote because I live in New York. I will be voting according to my views on crime and I will encourage others to do so as well. We can't keep running the current system, we are going to bankrupt our nation like we've bankrupted the American family by snatching away parents for some sense of retribution," she responded. Others asked her to share more and she told them what she had done and how she had gotten out. Piper sat in awe of her love as she shared her story. She could tell it was the first time. Alex reached under the table and took Piper's hand in hers. She gave her strength and comfort.

No one asked if she was the woman from the book. Maybe they just knew not to pry because of they too were part of the prison system. Piper enjoyed the banquet but after hours of talking, she wanted to go back to her room with Alex. Finally, Eva read her signals that she was tired. She walked up and whispered in Piper's ear and Piper told them all she had to go for a phone interview from the West Coast. Piper rose and they made their exits. Eva was laughing in the car and Piper felt she'd probably had a bit too much to drink.

"So Alex, you were a drug importer...apparently very good at it. What do you miss about your former job?" Eva asked in a manner that told Piper of her journalism background. Piper shot up her eyebrow at the forward question and the lack of "Miss Vause" in the question.

"I enjoyed the adreniline from the danger. I was addicted to it to fill certain holes in myself. It didn't really work though because it was never enough. It was my drug. It cost me everything. Well, the money was nice as well. But that lost its appeal when I didn't have Piper around to remind me to enjoy it."she answered her. Eva nodded her head and Piper snuggled in to her arms.

"I loved how you'd get when you had made a difficult deal or barely skirted disaster. It was our life then. I regret our actions helped contribute to misery. It bothers me daily and it drives me to work harder to make things better," Piper said in her soft voice. Eva looked at her and seemed to get lost in her own tipsy thoughts.

"You saved her, Piper." Eva observed out loud. Piper started to protest and tell her that they had saved each other when Alex spoke up.

"Eva you are a very smart young woman and you are exactly right. She saved me, not then...no I had to crash and burn on my own. She saved me while we were in Litchfield. She saved me by loving me and showing me you can only control how you work on yourself. She didn't become bitter and cold. She fought to get home to Larry, to get home to her family...she fought to keep me safe...to keep us all safe, even after she was out. She saved me by teaching me how to love not only her but myself," Alex answered. Piper closed her eyes and turned to bury her face in her neck. Eva looked at her in silence for a long time.

"You saved me too you sappy oaf. I saved you...really...how much wine did you drink tonight?" Piper asked in a muffled voice that was still surrounded by Alex's long black hair. Alex laughed and Eva smiled. Piper felt her red cheeks burn a bit less hot by the time they got to the hotel. Eva was heading out to meet some new friends at Gravity. They wished her a good night and retired up to their room. Piper asked Alex if she wanted to go out. She just shook her head and walked in to the hotel holding Piper's hand. Once on the elevator Alex held her close. They were surrounded by businessmen and Piper just hid her face in Alex's neck. They may have looked but it was just because they were so damn adorable all snuggled up. They walked down the hall to their room together in an embrace. Piper opened up and saw there was a basket delivered with fruits and wine. It was from the Women writer's convention as a thank you. Alex opened the Merlot and they toasted the fine women writers they had met that day. Piper also toasted her gorgeous girlfriend and her bravery telling her story that day.

Piper knew Alex could have told them anything and had them believe it. She sat there amongst prison personnel and told them about her crimes. She sat there and spoke her truth. Piper was very proud of her. Alex kissed her and they turned on the music from the system in the room. "Feels Like Home" by Chantal Kreviazuk came in through the speakers. It was slow and perfect. They swayed to the sentimental song. Piper grinned at all the mushy stuff they'd done that day. Alex looked at her leaning back.

"What?" Alex asked her. Piper smiled and leaned in to kiss her lips. She then swirled around and over dramatically dipped Alex. She squealed out and clutched to Piper like a little girl.

Piper laughed and twirled her up. She caught her by the arms and smiled brightly. The music changed to "No Light, No Light" by Florence and the Machine. Piper backed up towards the bed and striped off her clothing as she walked.

"Come to bed and hold me before our sweet mushy love makes us tango or worse...polka," Piper said with a big eyed incredulous expression. Alex laughed out and threw her head back. She took off her glasses first. She then took pins out of her hair and kicked herself out of her heels. Then she started that long sexy walk across the room towards Piper. She bit her lip at the sight of her woman, slowly disrobing. Piper felt like the luckiest girl in all of Canada.

Soon they were both cuddled together in the warmth of the bed. Alex held her close and told her all of the thoughts she had that day watching Piper teach and speak. She told her that one minute she thinks she has seen all there was of Piper. Then she gets a view of the woman she has become and she is humbled.

"You are so strong. You are my inspiration to carry on when I just want to crawl in a hole and give up. So how about we saved each other?" Piper offered. Alex agreed and they kissed. That night they made love softly and talked until sleep claimed them in the wee hours of the morning. Neither dreamed.

***I do like Toronto! I just suck at writing about places I've never been. I hope to visit one day. My best friend is from Vancouver Island and I've only visited the West Coast. Please review and let me know what you think or feel when you read about their love fest in Canada. As always you are the best readers in the world of fanfiction-um-dom! Peace, Fae***


	82. Chapter 82 Six Busy Days

Piper awoke to a wakeup call. Alex took it like she always did though it was obviously for Piper. When they lived abroad, Alex took all the phone calls to the room. Piper would hang out with the younger crowd, mules and pushers that worked directly under Alex. She didn't take phone calls. She ran errands but except for a brush here or there, she never saw anyone up high in the organization. Now though, Alex could speak to Eva and tell her that Piper would meet her downstairs.

Piper had a radio interview at 9 AM. Alex was going to stay in the room until it was finished and meet Piper at the MTCC, the big Convention center where Piper was to do her reading and give her speech. They had made those plans in the quiet of their bed. Piper hated leaving a bed that still had Alex in it. Yet she dragged her body out of bed and took a shower. When she returned, all dressed for her day, Alex had a big tray and was placing it on the table.

"Breakfast...the best I ordered. I got the same thing we got yesterday but this time you eat mine and I'll eat yours," Alex suggested with a smile. Piper laughed and sat to eat her European breakfast. They chatted about how they wanted to go to the waterfront after her speech as they ate. Soon Piper knew she had to leave to catch the car. Alex asked if she could take Piper out for dinner on their last night.

"Nope, I have a surprise all planned," Piper replied with a gleam in her eye. Alex's eyebrows shot up.

"Really-what?"

Piper smiled an enigmatic smile and rose to go get her briefcase. "That is for me to know and you to ponder while you relax. Please Alex, enjoy your morning for me. I know it must be tense running a business and I doubt you took a break between house arrest and going straight to work." Piper surmised. Alex nodded her head some to the side agreeing.

Piper walked back over and bent to kiss Alex. So many times Alex had done the same thing to her. It was on Piper's mind that morning. More than once she was afraid that Alex would not return when she left. She stood up again and looked down at her beautiful face. Alex pushed her glasses up and tucked a stray lock of hair behind her perfect ear.

"I'll see you. Listen to 680 News Radio at 9:30 if you want to hear me. I don't have a radio but I'm sure it streams live. I'm leaving about a half hour after the interview. You always have to do press shots with the DJs and sign their copies." Piper smiled as she said it. She actually found she missed her transistor radio. Her reading was going to focus on how long she tried to get a radio while in prison. It was one of her favorite parts to read because it was about wanting something and getting it. Not about how she felt to be touched or about her feelings of being dehumanized. Piper wanted to make sure Alex knew when she'd be there.

"Not the same as sharing an earbud with you. You were so worried we'd get in trouble for sharing a set of earbuds, remember?" Alex asked as she stood and walked with Piper to the door.

"No...I was worried you couldn't take hearing Larry talk about us. You were oblivious to what I asked so I felt stupid for assuming you'd be jealous," Piper admitted. Alex looked at her and shook her head some as she opened the door and leaned against it.

"I wasn't worried about that because I had you. I could touch you and taste you daily. I glossed over anything else so you wouldn't know I cared. I was a bit obtuse." Alex admitted. Piper kissed her lips and put her palm against her cheek.

"Yes you were, but now you're not..at least I hope you aren't," Piper whispered as she headed out the door and down the hall. She clutched her purse to her side as she got on the elevator. She was taking a huge risk with Alex. She had seen Alex change before her very eyes. In Litchfield, Alex had started to care for more than just herself. It had started with that muffin when she was being starved out. Slowly, Alex melted and allowed Piper access again. She had stomped on her heart but they had made it through. Still, there were unknowns. She didn't know all of what had happened to Alex and she couldn't be certain that Alex wouldn't hurt her again.

Yet, who could ever be certain? The past six days...just six days...had been the happiest of her life. Romeo and Juliet, their entire tale of tragedy took place over six busy days. Piper figured if they made it until tomorrow they had at least out-loved Romeo and Juliet. Piper got in to the waiting car and found a hung over Eva inside. She was professional but Piper noted her pallor and sunglasses.

"Wasn't Gravity great?" Piper asked. Eva just nodded. Piper grinned and looked over her notes on the radio hosts. As she opened her case she found a folded note written on the stationary from the hotel. She opened it and read;

_Reading your journals showed me how very much you liked my little notes. So I thought today would be a good day to start surprising you with them. I'm a bit rusty so keep that in mind..._

_Roses are red...violets are blue...I get all mushy ...when I think of you! So please think of me today and join me in our mutual mushfest! That sounds like a rock tour- Mushfest Toronto!_

_Okay you're getting out of the shower and I'm going to get breakfast ready. Have a great day!_

_Kisses-A_

Piper couldn't help but laugh at her little attempt at poetry and joke. Alex had read her journals and was trying to give her things she liked. She shook her head in disbelief. Her Alex had come a long, long way.

They arrived at the station and were whisked in to the morning show. It was a fun, energetic group. Right off the top they asked Piper to play a quick association game. They would say the set of random words, sent or tweeted in by viewers and she had to say what popped to mind.

First was casserole. Piper said "Prison." This prompted a discussion about how Piper cooked in Prison. She said her casserole was a favorite in her dorm. The DJs asked for the recipe and she directed them to the website that had been set up while she was incarcerated.

Next was the word, chicken. Piper said "Red" and laughed. She refused to elaborate. No one knew Red's real name and it made her smile to know Alex would be laughing.

After chicken they said, Pet and Piper immediately said Chaucer. Again the DJs were skeptical until she told them that was the name of her pet cat. She even showed them a picture she'd snapped on her phone before she left. It was the first time Piper had spoken about him and she felt like a proud mama.

The next to final word was prison. Piper had been expecting this one and immediately she said " Hell". At that point she spoke about the number of people incarcerated in America and in Canada. She pointed out the differences in the system but that no matter why you are in prison, it is hell because you're not human there, you're a number.

The last word was "Love" and Piper immediately said, "Alex." The DJ's, Ronald in particular would not stop asking her to explain about Alex. Piper tried to politely declined to elaborate but he kept at her.

"Who is the lucky man? I know your fiancé's name was Larry, so this must be a new guy," he pushed.

"_She_ is lucky but then again, so am I," Piper finally said. He backtracked and would have continued with the questions if not for his polite co-host Jennifer. She asked Piper to read part from her book. She read the part about her first day in prison and comparing the shoes to Toms. It was a good show and Piper felt it warmed her up for the convention. She gushed about how wonderful Toronto had been and how much she enjoyed being there. She hoped to be invited back and they were polite and extended an open offer. Piper posed for the press photos and signed the books of nearly all the office staff. Eva finally whisked her out of the studio before anyone else could press for her time. Piper was running a tad bit behind schedule. She called the hotel and rang their room. She hoped she was just packing up her computer. Alex answered on the fourth ring.

"I was just about to leave," Alex said without asking if it was Piper, "you were amazing. That Ronald guy was pushy but you handled him like a pro."

"I'm glad I caught you then, baby and I am a pro. I'm really glad you liked it. I'm running late but I'll meet you by the front door of the center. I've arranged for a hotel car to drive you, no need for a cab." Piper said, finally remembering to tell her.

"Are you late because he hit on you?" Alex asked in a soft tone that made Piper smile. She assured her it was just that she took too long signing books for the staff. Alex thanked her and told her she'd seen her soon.

Piper had a stupid grin on her face when she hung up. She had liked the interview and didn't like the pushy talk show host. Piper snorted, he was a piece of cake. Alex should hear her when she debates a senator who supports mandatory sentencing. It had gotten rather heated when Piper did a news show in D.C. a few months ago.

Finally they arrived at the convention center and she was met by personnel as soon as she stepped out of her car. They were trying to have Piper go in another exit. She was being 'handled' and pushed along by well meaning assistants who all had a schedule to keep. Piper dug her heels in and looked to Eva. She was way off her game today.

"Okay, Piper is trying to speak so please stop pushing her along. She knows how long she has and really it isn't like they are starting without their speaker."Eva reminded them. Everyone stopped and looked from her to Piper.

"I am going in the front of the building because I am meeting my girlfriend there. Then I will go to the hall so I can see where she is sitting, after that you can show me to a room to freshen up where I will meet with someone to assist me with my makeup and hair. Got it?" She asked the three twenty-something assistants that hovered around her. They all nodded and apologized. Piper just smiled and turned to walk back towards the door. Alex was standing before the door with a worried expression.

"Sorry baby, they tried to make me go in the side entrance. Come on, I can't wait to see where you are sitting," Piper said as she kissed her lips and took her hand. Alex pulled Piper close and kissed her again. Piper knew no little peck would do for her. Piper felt her tummy wobble with the excitement that comes from Alex alone. She breathed in to her and they pressed their foreheads together.

"So when you hear love you think of me? Now who is being mushy?" Alex teased. Piper snorted and smacked her arm playfully.

"It was stream of consciousness, I can't be held responsible for that...I mean anything could pop in your head when you think of Love...just so happens you are the most recent person to make me feel it, so naturally I would think of you," Piper reasoned with a playful grin. Alex nodded her head considering her words.

"I truly loved my coffee this morning. I had it after you left so if I played that game do you think I would think about my coffee?" Alex asked. Piper pretended to consider this as they followed a set of assistants through the huge lobby towards one of the open auditoriums.

"I know how much you love your coffee so truly I'm not sure," Piper replied. Alex laughed and squeezed her hand. They walked in and she could see Alex had a great spot, fourth row center. Alex put her jacket in her seat and then followed Piper out. She thought it was kind of cute that Alex didn't want to say goodbye yet. She walked Piper to a side door. The seats were filling up fast and Piper knew she had to go get ready. Alex kissed her softly at the door.

"Good- um no what is it you theatre people always said, "Break-a-leg". Alex told her. Piper flashed her a grin and left Alex in the auditorium. She was taken to a small room on the side and there waited Janet to do her makeup. The bruise was faded and almost gone. All that was left was the yellow that followed the bone of her eye socket. It didn't take much to cover it up and Piper felt more confident. She gave Eva her purse to hold while she was on stage. She took up her notes and book as she left. She enjoyed speaking before groups but there were always nerves. Knowing Alex was there added a layer to her nerves that she wasn't quiet used to dealing with yet. Piper still walked on to the stage and to the podium after a thrilling introduction. She thanked everyone and started her reading. She explained about how you couldn't even enjoy a movie without a radio. She read about the CO, (O'Neil )and how he would shout out, "No Radios Chapman!" each week when she had commissary. It was a few pages and she had read it many times before. She did dart a glance up from her page and she looked down at an enthralled Alex. Her expression was one of near worship and Piper felt her whole body heat and tense. She reached down to sip some water, not speaking yet because she didn't want her voice to break. She didn't look at Alex again throughout the reading.

When finished, she waited for the applause to die down then started to tell her tale. She spoke of how she fell in love. She told them how at first she didn't do anything but travel but eventually she took money overseas for the purpose of buying drugs. She then spoke about her sentencing and how because of mandatory sentencing she had to take a plea. Piper had given this speech before but here it was to men and women that worked in a system. Here in Canada they did more right but still they're incarceration rate was on the rise. Good news for them, it coincided with their crime rate. They were not adding numbers for nonviolent crimes.

She took a Q&A afterwards from a few. One was a Correctional Officer that asked if she told about all of the abuse she witness in prison. Piper usually just gave a pat answer there that left people knowing there was more but spouted a statistic to pin point the problem. This time Piper looked at Alex.

"No I did not. I felt if I spoke about certain things that people I care about would be hurt. Also, I didn't want it to be the focus of my book. I wanted the sentences and stories of my fellow inmates to shine through, not the misdeeds of a few officers. It is a problem though. As I said in my book, there is no more unequal a relationship that exists on this Earth than that of a prisoner and their guard." He wanted a follow up but the administer chose someone else to speak. She answered a few more questions when she saw Alex's hand shoot up. Piper pointed to her directly.

"Did prison make you regret your entire time with this drug dealer?" she asked. Piper looked at her for a long time. There was a murmur in the room as Piper thought. She wondered why Alex wished her to say it as she had already tried to explain it before.

"No. I did what I did. It was my fault, no one made me do it. Just like no one made me love her. I may have been young and in over my head, but I knew love." Piper responded. The hall got quiet and she smiled at Alex one more time before taking another question. It was over after that and Piper had to pose for photos. It was another hour before she was ushered out and into a car where Alex waited.

"You were fantastic again. I hope my question didn't bother you?" Alex asked, "I hear you tell your story but ..." Alex shrugged. Piper took her hand in her own and kissed each knuckle. Alex watched her as she pressed her hand to her cheek.

"You may ask me anytime you want. As I said, I wasn't anyone's girlfriend...I'm not a story at a yuppie party...that was our life. I regret going to prison, I wish I'd never had to go through that or you...but we did. I don't regret meeting and loving you." Piper clarified. That response earned her a heated kiss. They were out of breath when the car pulled over to let them out to sight see. Piper reluctantly pulled herself away from Alex and off they went, hand in hand, to find a good place for lunch.

They ate at a quaint cafe and had fun all afternoon shopping. Piper was glad to get back to the hotel though. She tore off Alex's clothing with fervor. All day she'd been sedate and professional. Now she wanted to show her woman how much she meant to her. Piper put her back on that lovely leather couch and licked her all over slowly. Alex moaned and pulled her up for a kiss, but Piper pushed her hands down.

"No...I want to suck each of your nipples until you want to scream..."Piper breathed. Alex moaned and wiggled under her. Piper felt power and lust surge through her. She lowered her head and suckled at each breast. Alex relaxed under her hands but Piper didn't hold them down. She was careful not to push a button that would bring up feelings of being helpless. She was sure by the way Alex moaned that she was enjoying Piper lavishing her breasts with attention.

"Oh my god, you are soaked Alex. I love...love how playing with your nipples makes you so fucking wet. All wet for me...just me Alex." Piper's voice was thick and filled with need. Alex just moaned more and Piper lowered her head to drink in her juice. She reached down between her own legs and stroked her hard clit. Rarely did she touch herself when pleasing Alex but she was so full of need. Piper moved her head to stay with Alex as she writhed.

"Pipes..up..please..let me, oh fuck..uhnnn pllease let up.." Alex mumbled. Piper realized what she wanted as Alex moved to lay down on the couch and make room for Piper to climb up on top of her. Piper did just that and nearly lost it when Alex's talented lips latched on to her clit. Piper screamed her pleasure into the wet hot cavern of her love. Shaking her head, she dived back in to pleasing Alex. It didn't take long for either of them in that position. Soon both were jerking and coming on the face and tongue of the other. Piper made a keening noise that sounded foreign to her own ears.

They cuddled afterwards and Piper calmed in her arms. They talked softly about how wonderful their sex life was and debated if it was better when they were younger or now. Piper said she couldn't really pick. The sex they had when they first got together blew her mind and she admitted that all other female lovers didn't come close to Alex's prowess in the sack. Alex admitted that no other had ever broken down her walls and made her feel as much as Piper. Those words made Piper's heart soar.

They got ready to go out and Piper told her to wear her black, sweater dress because they would be outside. She put on a silky set of black lingerie and Piper did as well. Alex's eyes got big and Piper told her she wasn't the only one that packed a few surprises.

"Oh I got another in store for when we get back here tonight," Alex teased. Piper's eyes looked to her bag and she started to dig through it for her surprise. Alex grabbed her up and pulled her away and they started giggling as they fell on to the bed.

"Awww come on...let me see,"Piper begged as she reached over Alex towards her suitcase. Alex pinned her down and kissed her lips with passion. Then she pulled back and told her no.

"You have tonight's dinner as a surprise...I have dessert." Alex said. Piper laughed and gave up the fight. They took a hotel car towards the waterfront. Piper smiled as Alex looked surprised they were going back to the same place they'd spent the afternoon. They approached a dock and Piper got out giving the driver instructions on when to pick them up. They walked down the dock towards a nice huge yacht.

"We're taking a dinner cruise around Toronto Harbour. We've seen much of the city from inside of it. I think it would be a good thing to see it from the water, lit up in the night, don't you?" Piper asked hoping she liked the idea. She knew from experience that Alex had great sea legs.

"Oh that is a great idea and a great surprise!" Alex responded. Piper grinned. The crew was very friendly and made an effort to learn their names. It was a cold night and not a specialized tour so there were only a few others onboard. They left and wet out into the harbour, taking a slow tour through the Western gap and slowly by Ontario place. There were warmed blankets that you could get for cuddling on the deck. Alex got them one and they snuggled enjoying the lit up skyline of the city. The dinner started as they passed the Air Canada Center and headed towards the close waterways of the Toronto Islands. It was a lovely buffet. Piper ate the Penne Pasta and Alex had the chicken. Piper let Alex choose the wine and they laughed through the meal remembering all the terrible wine Piper used to bring home from the market. The DJ started playing when dinner was over and they danced some in the ballroom. Alex was bright and gorgeous in the light. Piper felt her heart beat faster as she felt nerves ride across her skin like the wind from the water.

"Let's go out on the deck and look at the Gibralter Point Lighthouse, " Piper suggested. She took up her purse and walked out with Alex, holding her hand tight. Piper forgot her coat and started to go back in for it or a blanket. Piper just pulled her out saying she didn't want to miss the lighthouse. They stood by the railing looking at the lighthouse as the yacht slowly sliced through the calm water. Piper couldn't remember ever seeing one that close and bright. Alex kissed her hair and nuzzled at her neck. The music from the ballroom was piped out to the deck and Piper heard Heart's version of "No Other Love" fill the night air.

Piper swallowed and dug in her purse. Everything seemed to slow down as she turned towards the water. Piper leaned over the railing and took a deep breath. She steadied herself and squared her shoulders. She was going to do this but couldn't help the shiver of fear that coursed through her. Alex felt her shiver and mistook it for the cold.

"You are always forgetting your jacket, woman. I've said many times, you do it just to share mine," Alex teased as she slipped off her coat and put it over Piper's shoulders and pulled her close. Piper looked her in the eye and felt Alex's warmth.

"Yes and you are always there...covering up...always making me warm. I want you to know that I want you with me always. I want to be the only person to share your jacket...to share your life." Piper's voice quivered as she raised up her grandmother's engagement ring. Piper had retrieved it from her safety deposit box when she went to the bank Monday. "I know how you feel about marriage...I know you've always said that kind of life wasn't for you...but please Alex, after all we've been through, please consider being my wife. I promise we will have whatever type of marriage you want and we'll never be boring. I just want us to know...for everyone to know we are completely committed to each other...Only to each other." Piper held her breath and looked at Alex. Her eyes were glued to the ring and she seemed to be breathing hard.

"Pipes...there are things...I haven't told you. We just got each other ba-" Alex began. Piper felt her fear rise.

She interrupted, "Yes, it is quick but Alex...no matter what you have to say to me, unless you need to tell me you're already married..." Piper asked with raised eyebrows.

"No, no, I'm not married." Alex stammered. Piper kept on speaking not letting her elaborate.

"Okay then, whatever it is, I will deal with it as your fiancé. Don't you see Alex, we need a future...hokey...traditional...whatever you want to call it, this ring...my grandmother's ring on your finger would be a symbol of our triumph." Piper explained. She knew she was rambling so she bit her own lip and tried to remind herself to let Alex speak. Her girlfriend stared at the lovely ring. It was a classic cut, two carat at least, with small emeralds set all about the diamond in a fantastic pattern that drew one's eye to reflections of green in the stone. Piper had always loved that ring and when it was left to her she made sure to lock it away. Looking at it in her jewelry box would have been too painful because she knew the only person she ever wanted to wear the ring was Alex. Even as a child, Piper never thought the ring would be on her finger. In hindsight, she guessed she should have known she was bisexual then. But as a child all she could imagine was the look on some raven haired woman's face as she saw it.

Alex finally looked up from the ring and into Piper's eyes. They were still huddled close together and Piper could see in the light of the lighthouse that Alex was crying. She reached up with her free hand and wiped a tear hoping her fingers weren't too cold. Alex drew a deep breath and Piper swallowed. It felt like she had tried to swallow down her beating heart, she hoped she could hear her response with all the coursing blood pounding in her ears.

Finally, in what seemed like eternity but was in reality mere seconds, Alex said, "Yes Piper Chapman, I will be your wife, spouse...partner. If you want me, I'll be yours for the rest of my life." Alex held up her finger and Piper slid the ring on her finger and hugged her. As they hugged she heard cheers and looked over Alex's shoulder. The crew and the few passengers were all standing by the ballroom door clapping. Piper blushed and Alex turned to see. She turned back quickly and kissed Piper properly. She had never felt so completely safe in her life as she did in embrace of her fiancé.

***So...you see my dear hearts, patience has its rewards. I love it when I get reviews that tell me y'all binge read my story and then went back to reread it. It tickles me to the bottom of my heart. I often gorge myself on a book, then go back to savor the bits and pieces that made me feel something. You are the best group of readers any fan fiction author could possibly have! Please review and tell me what you think of Piper's proposal. They will be returning to NYC to continue the story- deal with certain characters people keep asking me about. ;) Thank you for asking me to stretch the story out more and making me a better writer. I hope you are all pleased with the results. AS always, please review and Peace! Fae***


	83. Chapter 83 Black Leather Bag

They stayed in a cloud of love as the yacht docked and they walked down the long planked dock to the car. Once inside, Alex told her that her acceptance had a condition.

"No, you said yes, you can't go taking it back now Alex," Piper warned. Alex kissed her lips softly and smiled.

"I'm not taking it back, I just want to speak to your father first. I'd like to ask him for your hand," Alex said. Piper stared at her in complete disbelief.

"Um Alex, I asked you, remember? I'm the one that should ask for permission," Piper pointed out.

"I have no one to ask, Pipes. Besides, I thought we could do this anyway I wanted to? The man deserves the respect. He wanted to speak to you before you left; you told me he left messages. We can have him over for dinner and I'll talk to him. Until then, you can tell Polly and we can tell Nicky but let's wait to tell the rest of your family." Alex suggested. Piper frowned at the idea of waiting but at the same time felt a warm rush of love that Alex cared enough to ask her dad.

"What if he says no?" Piper asked softly, " What if he can't get over our past together?" Alex hugged her closer. She was quiet for a little while.

"If he doesn't want to give us his blessing, I will work harder to get him to accept us. You don't want to, you know, get hitched right away do ya?" Alex asked. Piper could hear a bit of fear seeping in to her voice. Piper had to smile.

"Nope. We can take as long as you want, my love. I just want it known you are mine," Piper answered. Alex seemed to relax more and Piper chuckled.

Alex sat up some and turned her face towards hers, " So, can I get you a ring as well?" she asked with a glint in her eye. Piper broke out in a huge smile.

"Oh yes, please! I'd like one you picked out, unless you have one from your family..." Piper asked to be sure. She wasn't sure what Alex had inherited from her mother. From what she knew about her upbringing, Piper was almost positive there were no heirloom rings left to her in the will.

Alex shook her head, "No if we had anything like that, my mom pawned it years ago to feed me. I will design one just for you...maybe you'll get it for Christmas." Alex replied. Piper smiled an even bigger smile. She adored it when they made plans and really loved it when Alex talked about getting her presents.

They got to the hotel and were on the elevator when Piper remembered she had a surprise waiting in the room. "So what is for dessert?" Piper asked.

"Oh you had creme brulee if I recall," Alex responded. Piper squinted at her and pushed her against the wall of the elevator. She would have done more but people got on behind them.

"You know full well what dessert I'm talking about, Alex Vause. I mean, don't I deserve it? I actually surprised you," Piper bragged.

Alex nodded and asked, "How long were you planning this Piper?" More people got on the elevator and Piper moved even closer to her fiancé.

"I went to the bank on Monday to get the ring. I've been carrying it around in my purse ever since. I planned to wait until after I was done working in case you said...you know...then I didn't have to do a presentation all upset," Piper admitted. Alex looked at her with that intense emotional look that Piper was still getting used to seeing on her face regularly. She doesn't hide her emotions from Piper anymore.

"Piper is this ring insured?" she asked. Piper started to say yes, then shook her head no. Her grandmother had it insured, Piper forgot and just put it in her safety deposit box. Alex's eyes got big and she looked down at the rock on her hand.

"We will take care of that soon...I can't believe you walked around with my ring in your purse for five days without even insuring it!" Alex said through clenched teeth. Piper could only grin. She called it "my ring". Alex looked at her hand again, Piper had caught her looking at it often. She remembered doing the same thing to the one Larry got her. It was comforting to know that ring meant someone loved you enough to give you something so precious.

"Yes not my brightest move, but you see I've been a little distracted trying to woo the woman I love enough to get her to marry me when she has flat out told me she doesn't believe in marriage," Piper deadpanned. Alex snorted and shrugged her shoulders.

"I don't, but I believe in us," she responded and Piper melted. Behind her she heard a few women sigh sweetly at the remark. They got off the elevator on their floor and made their way quickly to the door. It took Alex a couple tries with the key and that told Piper volumes about how nervous she actually was. Piper took her jacket and hung it by the door. They walked in to the room and Piper saw a familiar leather bag on the bed. Immediately she moaned.

"You still have that bag...sure not the same..." Piper stammered over the word.

"Strap-on dildo? No not dildo, but the strap on is the same design. You ...um still like that?" Alex hedged. It was kind of cute how nervous she was with Piper now. It was the same but different with them. Never, in all of their time together, did they make promises for a future. Alex had always been the right here, right now...woman. Now, she was the right here, for life...fiance.

Piper turned and took her face in her hands. She removed her glasses and put them on top on the nightstand. She then kissed each of Alex's eyelids with feather kisses before saying, "Yeah baby, I still like that. Do you? I know you never let me use it on you but my god, you would rock my world with it. When I'd see the bag out on the night stand, it would make me so nervous and wet. Kinda like now," she said as she slipped off her skirt and brought Alex's hand down her taut belly, under her lace underwear to feel how ready she was for her.

Alex moaned, "My God Piper, I don't think we'll need much lube." Piper laughed and they started to kiss with a passion that had steadily built up all night. Piper pulled herself away and opened the leather bag. She pulled out the harness and a deep purple dildo. It was the same size as the one she had before but it was new and she could tell it was of great quality. Piper slipped it in the harness and noted the small nub on the inside that would stimulate Alex's clit as she fucked Piper. She liked her lips and kissed the rubber that would make her woman come. She held it up for Alex to step in to the strap on. Piper licked her lips and Alex smiled down.

She bent her body and kissed her woman with such soft grace that Piper lost her breath. She looked at Alex as if to see why she was so reverent with her kiss. She looked into Alex's eyes and saw such love that she felt her emotions well up.

"I never thought I'd be anyone's betrothed. I never thought...fuck Piper you push me to places I never thought I needed to go," Alex whispered as she lowered her body down and hitched up Piper's legs. Piper bit her lip and pushed her pelvis up, seeking the dildo. Alex reached down, lined it up and pressed forward as she lowered her head to suck in Piper's nipples. Piper felt herself stretched and filled with the thick cock and nearly came on it. It had been so long since she felt this full. She watched Alex as she sucked her nipples and slowly...so slowly started to move her hips.

It was different with a woman than a man. The physical act is the same with a strap on but a woman needs the other contact as much as you do to get off. Men tend to only feel what you are like inside and have that primal need to pump. Alex she made sure to touch Piper all over and gradually build up the movement until Piper was thrusting in a fast rhythm with her. Their bodies were slick with effort and Piper came over and over. Alex did rise up and grind her hips into Piper, sending the dildo deep enough to slam her cervix. It hurt and yet Piper came again with Alex as she shuddered her release.

Alex didn't pull out of Piper as she fell forward and then rolled over to place Piper in her arms. Neither could speak and their breathing was labored. Piper made small noises in her throat and Alex rubbed her hand up and down her back.

"Did I hurt you, Pipes?" she finally asked when she could catch her breath. Piper shook her head and clung to Alex.

After a few minutes, Piper responded, "I will feel you tomorrow. I will feel you and crave this again." Alex kissed her neck and laughed softly in her ear. She pulled her hips away and Piper actually gasped as the dildo pulled out. Alex reached to the table and brought up a towel. She had set everything up. Piper had to smile.

"We never had a towel in prison, yet we fucked like rabbits when we could," she observed. Alex chuckled and cleaned Piper and the dildo as she could. She would clean it properly once home. Piper couldn't believe that Alex put that in her luggage. She guessed it was nothing compared to drug money. Somehow, that made her giggle and she shared.

"Right you are, my dear. Come here finace, be my little spoon." Alex said as she pulled her over to spoon behind her.

"My pleasure, baby, this is my favorite way to sleep." Piper replied. They fell to sleep snuggled up in the bed, satiated and in love.

That morning at four AM there was another nightmare. It wasn't Alex, it was Piper this time. She was running on the track at Litchfield and Alex was running in front of her. She tried to get her to slow down but she couldn't. She stopped to bend over, to catch her breath and call out to her but instead she found her head was in a laundry basket. She could feel Henton's hands on her ass and the sick feeling that he was going to rape her. That is when she shot up in the bed and screamed.

Alex woke with a start and reached out to touch her. She stopped right before she did and started to talk to Piper. Piper quickly adjusted and blinked to her new reality. She had more practice shaking off the dreams.  
"I'm sorry..I usually don't have them that bad unless I'm going to visit-," Piper started. Alex pulled her in to her arms and they fell back in to the bed. She made soothing sounds until Piper was calm.

"It's alright. Fuck, I hate it when you dream though...it reminds me of when I had to listen to you moan from three bunks over. I fucking hated I couldn't be there with you. I would hear Stacy get up and wake you. I hated it. Once, you got up and checked on me." Alex said quietly.

"You were awake?" Piper asked. Alex nodded in the dark but Piper could feel her answer. " I didn't know you were awake. I needed to know you were there and alright. Not knowing...you're alright is the root of most of my fear. I think..maybe worrying about returning home brought this one on..who knows. Well, I told you, we'll never be boring," Piper joked. Alex just rolled her eyes and kissed her temple. They fell back to sleep together.

It was a great morning, they made their way to the airport after checking out. Eva said her goodbyes at the airport and didn't mention the ring. She had to fly to Denver for another job. They went through security and Alex had to remove her ring. She told the man to be careful. Piper had to smile. She set off the alarm for some reason and had to be patted down. She hated it and always would hate it. Worse though was Alex's expression. Piper held up her arms automatically and Alex had stepped forward.

"A woman please, don't touch her," she said to the man that took their items. Her tone was confrontational and Piper was really afraid they'd end up on a no fly list.

"Um, listen, I was abused before her eyes once, she is scared. We just got engaged, so please she just wants me not to be manhandled," Piper said with a soft reassuring tone. They were all business but she saw another officer came up to watch. Piper was patted down, rather quickly. She was cleared and they went to put on their shoes.

"First time I had to do this I was like, "how did this not bother me before" then I realized I did it three times a week for a year and almost each time so man felt me up before I saw my family. This was a piece of cake comparatively," Piper said to Alex as they stood up. Alex nodded and slipped her ring back on her finger. She took Piper's hand and walked with her down the terminal to their waiting plane.

The flight was fast and Polly picked them up at the airport. She hid her disappointment that she didn't bring Finn. It took her all of five minutes to ask Alex what was up with the ring. "Alright, where did you get that rock?" Polly asked looking in the mirror at Alex as she merged into airport traffic.

Piper grinned, " I gave it to her silly. You are the first to know." Polly slammed on the brakes and nearly sent them all flying in to the windshield. She then darted into a parking garage and parked her car. Shet turned and looked at Piper and Alex as if to see if they were kidding her.

"Are you kidding me? You asked her to marry you? You do know it is legal now, right? " Polly stammered. Alex laughed.

"Yes, we try to do all legal things now. What is your problem Polly? That Piper asked me? Or that she did it without asking you first?" Alex asked. Polly opened her mouth to retort and then closed it suddenly. She turned and looked out the window of her car. Piper felt bad. She didn't discuss it with Polly because she didn't want her to tell her that it was a bad idea. She didn't want to think it through; she just wanted a promise from Alex that this time...this time they were in it for the long haul...whatever that meant.

"My problem is you two hurt each other like it is a freakin' sport. She barely survived your prison affair and long distance romance, Alex. Pipes are you certain?" Polly asked her, looking over at her for the first time since she abruptly stopped the car.

Piper looked her in the eye and said simply, " Yes." Polly nodded and turned. She started the car and pulled out of the garage doing a rather talented U turn. She drove out and on to the freeway before she spoke again.

"I've never met two people that loved each other more than the two of you. You'll do this thing right," Polly stated. Piper reached over and took her hand. She knew she could count on Polly. She asked her not to tell anyone until they had a chance to tell the family themselves. She didn't mention Alex's plan to ask her dad because she knew Polly would have a comment to make and it may make Alex more nervous. They made plans to get together soon for lunch and Polly dropped them off at Piper's place. Alex carried their bags up the steps as Piper opened the door. She was greeted by a loving Chaucer that wanted to be picked up so much he nearly tripped Piper. Immediately he started to purr as she wrapped her arms around him. Alex closed the door and joined Piper in her petting fest. Chaucer ate up the attention.

"He has you completely wrapped around his paw, ya know that right?" Alex asked with a smirk. Piper nodded and leaned against her woman. They stood there petting her cat for a long while.

Finally, Piper turned and kissed Alex. "Welcome home, baby. It is good to be here with you. Don't worry, I think our current arrangement of taking turns or splitting our time between homes is great. Remember, we go at our own pace and define this as we go. So, either way...either place, welcome home." Piper whispered to her. Alex murmured her thanks and then laughed as Chaucer wiggled out form between them and made loud insistent meows telling them to feed him. Like good Moms they followed him to the kitchen and gave him a can of his favorite food.

***Thanks for all your support and reviews. I get lots of comments on twitter faecym about Laura Prepon and her role in the upcoming season. Until she, Jenji or Netflix actually put out a statement, no one knows for certain. My Alex was created by another person and I took it from the end of the season. She is here, growing the way I imagined. This novel has spanned almost four years so the Alex we know in this context is a completely different character. She may look like Laura in our minds but she is totally a product of the circumstances in "Covering Up". With that said, enjoy what I write and let Jenji and Netflix worry about the rest! Please review, Fae


	84. Chapter 84 Cat Naps

Alex had to go to work but before she left, Piper gave her a nice silver chain. Alex looked at her with confusion in her pretty eyes. "For your ring, if you don't want everyone to know yet you had better wear it around your neck, " Piper suggested. Her heart was warmed to see that Alex didn't like the idea of taking it off. She held out her hand to Piper. Piper bent, kissed her finger and slipped the ring off. She put it on the chain and then placed the chain gently over her neck. Alex tucked it in her shirt and pressed her hand to her chest.

"Next to my heart….I'll be back tonight. I'll bring takeout," Alex said as she leaned in to kiss her goodbye. Piper felt the thrill of her lips and smiled brightly. Alex walked to the door and turned before she left. She looked back at Piper and said in a voice thick with emotion, "I ….love you." Piper swallowed and repeated the words back to her. She realized after she left that perhaps that had been the first time Alex had said the words outright to her and not the "pussy" way of "I heart you." Piper loved it when she did that but it felt nice to know Alex felt secure enough to express herself.

She had work to do but first she called her father. He was going to be in the City the next day and wanted to come by and have dinner with Piper to talk. She told him that Alex would be there and that she wanted to talk to him. He was quiet for a few minutes and then agreed. Piper felt her stomach knot with worry but she had already set it in motion. She returned a few phone calls and checked her emails. Raven called.

"How was the trip?" she asked in her perky voice. Piper told her it was amazing and she and Alex are closer. Raven was glad to hear it. She told Piper that Chaucer missed her terribly and slept on her bed the whole time she was gone. They arranged for Raven to come by tomorrow with the notes from the meeting she missed.

"Um, Alex will be here, so you can come in but knock before you enter the bedroom," Piper reminded her. Raven laughed and said she'd never make that mistake again! Piper couldn't help but laugh with her. Piper finished her work that she could complete on her own. The rest she needed to do with Raven. Piper was tired and wanted to take a nap. She thought Polly was going to visit in the late afternoon. Piper curled up with Chaucer on the couch and took a much needed nap.

_She dreamed she was back at Litchfield. She was in the Chapel with Alex and they were kissing behind the altar. Everything felt amazing and Piper didn't want their time to end. There wasn't a rush of fear that they would get caught. She told herself that no one could tell them not to be together now. No one could take her fiancé away from her. Alex peeled off her uniform and Piper saw she was wearing the red and black corset. She asked her when that became prison issue and Alex laughed. _

_"Don't you like it, kid?" she asked in that sexy deep voice that made Piper's entire body ache with need. _

_"I love it, just don't want you to get in trouble," Piper responded. The dream then shifted to Paris. They were in their apartment and Alex was arguing on the phone. She was trying to get one of her drug mules to do another run. _

_"I gave you more than enough to last, Stasa..not to mention the money I wired to you in Italy. Get your ass over to Billy now for your package." Piper came up behind her and put her arms around her. She was still turned on from kissing her but didn't understand why suddenly Alex was like she was before. Alex pushed Piper's hands away and stepped out of her embrace as she listened. _

_"No, fuck you, Piper is NOT doing this run. It is your job," Alex said through gritted teeth. Piper felt her panic rise at the thought of carrying a bag of drugs through an airport. Alex set her jaw and Piper watched her eyes grow very cold. "Who is the boss, Stasa? That's right, I am. I say you do this run, not my girlfriend. So get your ass there or I'm through with you and you can find your own way back to L.A." Alex hung up the phone and Piper stood there watching her. Alex looked over at her with that look she hated, the one that said to Piper that she should do more to help her in her business. _

_Piper walked up to her and took her face in her hands and told her, "One day, this will all come crashing down around our ears and we will lose our freedom over your business. One day we will be locked away and made to feel less than human. Please stop….please stop now and just love me Alex. Just love me…" Alex started to turn away as she spoke but Piper held her fast. She pressed her body to Alex and kissed her neck making the small, need filled sound that never failed to make Alex want to kiss her. It worked and Piper was kissed thoroughly._

_When she pulled her mouth away Alex looked her in the eye and said, "Kid, if I stop now, they'll kill you and then they'll have to kill me." _

Piper woke with a start to the sound of "Kittttttyyyyyyyyy" yelled from Finn and the cat jumping off of her stomach where he'd been curled in to a tight ball. She knew without looking that Chaucer had run in to her room and under the bed. Finn was standing by the couch with a look of pure disappointment. Piper took him in her arms and pulled him up on the couch.

"It's alright, kiddo. He just doesn't like kids. When you get older he will let you hold him," she consoled. Finn still cried for the kitty and nuzzled at his Godmother's neck. Polly sat down in the armchair and looked over at her sleepy son as he mumbled .

"It is past his nap time. We were out shopping and I didn't bring him home first. I figured you wanted to see him," she said with a smile. Piper's face lit up with delight as she hugged him close. He took her hair in his hand and his thumb made its way to his mouth. She could see Polly didn't like that he did it but he was so tired she didn't say anything. Piper just snuggled him close and made comforting sounds in her throat. She loved this boy so much.

"You guys could have one of your own…two actually, each of you could carry.." Polly pointed out in a whisper voice. Finn was fighting sleep but could barely keep his eyes open. He started to pat Piper on the shoulder and she knew right away that he was going to be asleep within the minute.

Once she felt his body go completely lax she answered, "We haven't discussed children and I'm pretty sure Alex doesn't want to get pregnant. No, I think I'm going to be the one carrying the baby. Besides it is way too early for any of that. Weren't you just complaining about how fast I asked her to be my wife." Piper observed. She never thought about it but Finn made her ache for a child. Piper was thirty-seven and she didn't need her mom to tell her that her biological clock was ticking. She didn't feel as much pressure now that Neri was pregnant. Polly read her mind as she oft to do and filled her in on Neri. She had finally convinced Cal to build her a house. It is mostly zero carbon imprint but he had already started construction.

" Well you know, first comes love…then in your case comes prison…then painful separation then finally love again…now eventually marriage," Polly snarked. Piper asked her what Cal was doing with the house to change the subject. " He needs help with the footers so Pete is going to see him. Don't ask me what that means. Larry came by Pete's work yesterday," Polly threw in there suddenly. Piper stiffened. Pete and Larry had been friends since college. She knew Pete was pissed at him over his role in Piper's anguish.

Polly continued, "Pete asked him to leave and told him he was really pissed at him for what he did to you. He said Larry was confused as to what it was then Pete told him. He seemed surprised Pete cared. He thought you two would have worked it out when you talked. He said the worse he thought would happen was you'd have to beg her to visit for awhile." Piper frowned at that comment but kept her rage in check. It was hard to feel rage with Finn laying on your chest, snuggled up under your chin.

"Did Pete tell him what really happened?" Piper asked. Polly shook her head.

"No he told him it was worse than that. He also told him that he loved you like a sister and if he had any sense, he'd avoid Pete and Cal for the next long while," Polly explained. Piper felt such love from Pete. She smiled at Polly and told her to tell him thank you.

"I don't want to ruin their friendship. I just really don't want him in my life at all right now. I don't….trust what I'll do to him and I need to consider my options. I know my fiancé and now that she knows it was Larry, he should be worried." Piper smiled a smile that didn't quiet reach her eyes. Polly shot her eyebrows up and nodded.

"Well you should have warned me I guess. I had lunch with Mila on Friday. I told her my point of view for the first time. I told her he capitalized on your past and whined the whole time you were in prison about it but used it to jump start his career. He then played emotional blackmail with you by visiting your ex-lover right in front of you when you refused to see him. I told her in great detail also, how he pushed you to be intimate while you were suffering from PTSD, " Polly continued. Piper was completely surprised. She knew Polly had known Mila for a couple of years…she was basically trying to ruin their relationship.

"That isn't fair though, he was patient really. He just didn't know all the facts about…"Piper interjected.

"No Piper, anyone that knew you before and after Prison knew you were suffering from PTSD. His patience came with whining and guilt. Fuck, did you forget how he want to Litchfield and confronted Alex? You had just barely gotten out! You left him after that and I was glad. You didn't start to heal until you were alone. I just told her the truth. I did tell her he maliciously sent false documents to Alex, to make her think you two were together so he could hurt the both of you. I explained it all. I'm sorry if I overstepped but I just want him to fucking pay." Polly said with such venom in her voice that Piper knew right then and there why Pete may never be friends with him again. Polly hadn't forgiven Larry at all. They were close once….all of them.

"Hey, Polly look…thank you and I love you, first off…but you guys knew Larry before.." Piper started to cajole her. Polly stood up and walked over to her. She sat beside her son and best friend on the couch and leaned down close to her face. Piper stopped mid sentence when she saw the intense look in her eyes.

"Piper, I saw what it did to you to lose Alex in that prison system. I saw you fall completely apart and go hide in Connecticut. I watched you binge drink and pour all your pain into your book. I can't forgive him for that. His petty jealousy nearly cost me my friend. So I told Mila she should take that Doctors Without Borders job and leave his ass before he did the same shit to her," she said the last part with a bit of a smile.

Piper's eyes got wide. " You think she will?" Polly shrugged and said she wasn't sure but she sure hoped his ass is at least on the couch all weekend. Polly picked up Finn and took him in to the office to sleep on the spare bed. Piper made them a nice latte and told Polly all the details of her trip. Piper went on and on about how beautiful Alex was and how Toronto may have been cold but she didn't feel any of it.

Polly snorted, " Of course you didn't you were too busy bumping, licking and grinding under Alex-Hottie-Mc-Hot-hot-Vause," Piper flicked some of her latte at her in retaliation.

"We saw the sites! Hell I worked the whole time as well. There are places in Europe I've only seen from a hotel room window, but not this time, we actually went out on the town. I wanted it to be a wonderful trip. It was her first time traveling abroad since prison." Piper explained.

"No you wanted it to be romantic so she'd say yes to your proposal. You always said Alex didn't believe in marriage. I guess you have magical tutu juice or something!" Polly responded. Piper flipped her off but did wiggle her eyebrows.

"It worked didn't it?"

Polly had to laugh and agree. Piper told her about her father coming over tomorrow and how Alex didn't know yet. She didn't think it would benefit her to worry about it at work all afternoon. Polly asked her if she was chicken that Alex would bail.

"No. I mean it is there yeah, but I'm not dwelling on it. I gave her the ring to calm my nerves. I know now that Alex is committed to being here with me now…and for later. That is all I could ever hope for…" Piper tried not to sound too mushy but she couldn't help it. She braced herself for her best friend's usually remarks.

Instead, Polly surprised her again, "It sounds like a perfect way to ask and I'm sure she is blown away by how lucky she is to have you. I had better get my sleeping boy up and head off to meet his father." Polly hugged her and went to get Finn.

After they left, Piper changed and went for a jog. The snow from last weekend was all gone and it felt like a late Fall day. She ran her usual route in the park. She had to stop and wait a crowd of onlookers to move so she could finish. There was a crowd watching some filming. She and Alex had seen lots of that in Toronto when they went sightseeing on Friday. She had even got to see them film a scene of Lost Girl while she was near the docks. She had told Alex about the sexy couple and she had agreed to maybe watch that with her. As Piper continued she made plans to perhaps hook up her Netflix to her TV so they could watch and snuggle on the couch.

She got home as it was getting dark. She let herself inside and nearly jumped out of her skin when she saw Alex standing in the foyer.

"Oh hello baby, I thought you were working later," she walked up and kissed her on the lips. Alex pulled her in to a big hug. Piper just stood still, letting Alex get all the hug she needed.

"I was worried. I called you to ask what you wanted for dinner but you didn't pick up. I…" Alex swallowed and looked down. She knew what it was like to worry about someone that you can't see or touch to make sure they are alright. Piper lifted her head and kissed her on her lips.

"I understand. I'm sorry, I left my phone when I went for a run. I'll not do it again. I promise." Piper assured her. Alex seemed to calm and walked with her in to the kitchen.

"I got Chinese. I know you used to like moo goo but I took a chance and got you the fried rice delight. I love it and I thought you might as well," Alex said. Piper could tell she felt foolish for over reacting but she was determined to help her feel alright.

"It is great. If you like it I am sure I will. I'll go shower and then we can eat. Oh..um by the way, lets stay here tomorrow too okay? See my dad is coming over for dinner…and I thought you might want to talk to him…about you know…" Piper suggested. Alex's eyes got wide and Piper knew she was no longer worried about over reacting to Piper not answering her phone.

"Tomorrow? Damn…that is fast…but good, good. Sure we can stay here and I'll um help you cook. Maybe another of your steaks? I loved the one you and Pete fixed." Alex replied. Piper grinned as she headed towards the bathroom.

"Your wish is my command, baby," Piper teased. She took off her tee shirt and let it drop to the floor of the hallway, she turned around and started to slowly peel down her bra before she continued, "Want to join me?"

Alex stopped taking out the boxes of Chinese and started to walk her way fast, " I thought you'd never ask," she replied. Piper laughed and started to run as Alex sped up to chase her into the bathroom. Their laughter rang out in the apartment and Piper knew her fears were temporarily forgotten.

***I love your comments and reviews so much. I told my friend Basskid that I would have only written a few chapters if not for you guys! You are fantastic. Enjoy your weekend. I may write more, I may not…y'all know how to get more! Peace and blessings, Fae**


	85. Chapter 85 Grocery Story Sunday

Piper hooked her laptop to the TV in the office and cuddled with Alex while they ate Chinese. It was decadent and something she didn't think they had ever done together before. Alex doesn't usually watch any television. They would read together but not watch the television. Piper explained Lost Girl's premise and they had a conversation about Succubae. Alex swore she had an old girlfriend that had to have been some form of one. Piper threatened to tickle her belly unless she convinced her it wasn't her.

Alex did like the scenes between Bo and Lauren. "They have chemistry that is like lightening in a bottle. We have that...people could tell we wanted each other even when we hated each other in prison," Alex pointed out. Piper had to agree. They enjoyed a pick of shows that Piper chose for the sexy scenes before they slowly made love. Piper was still thinking about the strap on that Alex used on her the night before. She didn't ask for it again because what she wanted in that moment was her lover's fingers and lips. Yet she wondered how Alex could use a toy that simulated a male member and yet be so completely feminine when she did it. It was truly what made Piper insane with lust while they did it that way.

"Alex, you are the best lover I've ever had...I'm really glad you'll be the last," Piper whispered after she came hard kissing Alex. Alex smirked her wonderful smirk and looked the epitome of satisfied.

"I know I have a talent but damn kid, you are so responsive. You always have been but now, after Litchfield it is even better," Piper started to argue and Alex carried on speaking, "No listen, we had to hide so much and it made it very hot. But now we can take time and let go completely. You just, wow Piper. I may be the best you've had but damn girl you are fantastic. You are the best I've ever touched. You make me feel so many things all at once it is like overload. You grew in to a wonderful lover and I didn't do that. The um, time we were apart you blossomed as a lover." Alex stated. She pulled the cover up over them as she spoke and Piper cuddled her body.

"I blossomed..." Piper couldn't help but laugh. Alex did as well but insisted as corny as it sounded that it was true. They cleaned up and went to bed together. Alex woke in the wee hours of the morning screaming. It was her first one in days and as Piper jerked awake she remembered not to touch her. She spoke to her quietly and tried to get her to lie back down.

"I'm going to get up and read some," Alex insisted. She was already standing before Piper could take her by the hand.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Piper asked in a soft voice. Alex shook her head but she did turn her head back and smile at Piper. She slipped on Piper's robe and left the bedroom. Piper just stared up at the ceiling. She knew what it was like to have your mind still in the past and your body to wake in the present. She closed her eyes and tried to drift off to sleep. Eventually she drifted back to sleep clutching the pillow from Alex's side of her bed.

Alex woke her up with a kiss and some coffee. "Your assistant is here, madam." Piper sat up and rubbed her eyes. She looked at Alex to see if she was alright. She was dark under her eyes but overall she seemed to be fine. She was wearing her CBCG shirt and a pair of Piper's jogging pants. Her hair was wet and Piper had a feeling that Alex worked out as she slept.

"Thank you," Piper said as she sipped her coffee. She moaned with pleasure. " I see you found my French Press," Alex laughed and told her she spent some of her time awake getting familiar with her cabinets.

"I want to seem like I know where things are when your dad is here. He will be worse than Polly about it being too soon. I was thinking I'd just approach it with how long we've been in love. Your mother was tough but she could see we love each other, right?" Alex rambled on as Piper drank her coffee. She nodded here and there. She found Alex's nerves about her father to be rather adorable.

"You'll be great. Either way Alex, just think of it this way...if being an international drug runner who asked me to commit crimes didn't make me love you less, surely my father's disapproval will only make you more attractive," Piper said in her snarky manner. Alex frowned at her and reached over to pull Piper's head to her for a kiss. They kissed softly for a long time, Alex just kissed her lips and then face. Piper sighed a rather content sigh and that made her woman smile.

"You have work to do. I thought maybe I could go to the grocery while you were working and get what you need for dinner," Alex suggested after she pulled her soft lips away. "Also, Raven is in your kitchen enjoying a cup of coffee I made her. She moaned much like you did when she tasted it and told me she totally understood what you see in me. Oh...and she asked about the ring." Alex added. Piper looked at her neck first then down to her hand. Alex had put the ring back on her finger. Piper felt pleasure just explode in her chest. In her wildest dreams, Alex never would have reacted the way she has to that ring.

"Oh good, we will only have to work for a few hours. Do you think Lorna and Nicky could meet us out for lunch at Cafe Luluc?" Piper asked, " Did you see Nicky at work?" Piper asked her as she got up and pulled on some comfy clothes.

Alex answered as she made their bed, "I spoke to Nicky on the phone. Taystee is opening and closing today. Nicky has like five manager's resumes for me to look over but..." Alex stopped as if she was trying to find a way to word it.

"You'd rather wait until Taystee is out of the half way house and give her the job," Piper finished. Alex looked up somewhat surprised that Piper had guessed right. She then took her own pillow and put it back on the right side of the bed.

"Yes. I haven't spoken to Nicky about it. You know Lorna, she has her opinions that are well, out of West Side Story, but Taystee is one of the smartest people I know. I trust her. She took care of you when you were sick and helped with that fuckin' meth head. I owe her and I want to pay it forward even more. I want to help her build a life here in the City." Alex spoke with such conviction.

"I'm sure the Women's Prison Association can help her find good, safe housing. So let's bring it up at lunch today. You think you can arrange it?" Piper asked her as she helped her toss the accent pillows back on the bed.

"I'll give her a call. This way we can both tell them about our engagement together," Alex replied.

Piper couldn't help but grin big. They walked out of her room and down the hall holding hands. She wished right then and there that every single Sunday could begin this way. Well, it would have been better if Alex could have made it through the night in their bed but she had patience. This week Alex starts therapy and Piper knew it would be a long row to hoe.

"I may need your help after lunch. I have boxes in the studio upstairs. I need to get them down so Dad can look through them," Piper said as they passed the stairs. Alex looked up them.

"I assumed that the upstairs had a separate entrance and you rented it out. You mean your Uncle owns the whole brownstone?" Alex asked with big eyes. Piper looked back and blushed nodding. She had been surprised herself. Her Uncle made his fortune in real estate in the early sixties. He had no kids and had spent his money well.

"Shit, Pipes I knew you came from money but...damn." Alex stated. Piper pointed out he was just her mom's brother and it wasn't her money. She didn't mention that she and Cal would inherit the bulk of his estate. You just simply didn't mention finances. Her next thought was she had better start mentioning them to Alex because they were going to be a family.

That thought made Piper grin. She saw Raven sitting at the kitchen isle bar eating an omelet. Alex pulled Piper's out of the warming oven and put it before her. She then started to make her another cup of coffee.

"Okay, I totally see why she is a keeper and by the way, that ring is exquisite," Raven said after she finished her bite.

"It had to be; have you seen my fiance?" Piper replied with a gleam of pure love in her eyes. Alex blushed and told them both to stop or she wouldn't be able to stomach her breakfast. They all sat at the counter to eat. Alex made a shopping list for dinner and Raven went over her messages. Piper was a very happy woman.

After breakfast, Alex went to get dressed while they cleaned up. Soon Piper was elbow deep in her job. Alex kissed her cheek and left while she was on the phone with Nicky. She gave Piper the thumbs up sign as she left. Piper worked for a few hours with Raven and was able to set up her week. She told her all about her trip. More than once Raven sighed as she listened to all the places they visited. She wanted to know the details of how she asked, just like Polly. Piper told her and Raven clapped her hands.

"Nicely done Piper...I'm sure she was swept away. You guys are rather adorable together. I know it is new but you seem to just be in sync. I mean like this morning, it was like she had awakened you daily for years." Raven observed.

Piper thought for a moment then she said quietly, " She did. Raven we were together for nearly three years when we first fell in love. Then she was my bunky for a time at Litchfield. When we lived in Europe, she worked all the time. Sometimes she'd wake me up as she was going to bed." Piper recalled. She didn't mention that Alex almost always woke her up with her mouth on her Piper's clit. She was pretty sure that Alex would have done that this morning too but Raven was in the kitchen.

"I was surprised to see her up and in the kitchen when I got here. Is she always an early riser?" Raven inquired. Piper shook her head but didn't elaborate.

Piper was trying to type an email when her mind wandered back.

**They were still living in London and she had been out dancing until four in the morning. Alex had started the night with her but had to go take care of business. Piper hated it when she was left at the club but there was nothing she could do about it. She didn't want to upset Alex by 'whining' any more than she had already. Piper came back with a bunch of their friends and had dropped her tipsy ass in bed after stripping off all of her clothing. She didn't hear Alex come in to the room and start to pick up the clothing Piper had left around the room. **

**"Piper is the room still spinning for you? Do I need to get a trash can? I swear I'm going to kick Billy's ass if he keeps getting you Long Island Ice teas." Alex said as she picked up Piper's legs and straightened her out in bed. "Did you drop some X as well?" Piper mumbled about half a bottle of wine and no to the drugs. She peeked an eye open and looked around. **

**"No to the room spinning too...so see I'm good," she mumbled from the pillow. Alex laughed some and got naked before she slipped in to the bed to pull Piper close. **

**"I was going to fix you some breakfast but I think you'll not be eating until three again. Main thing, did you have fun?" Alex asked in Piper's ear. Piper opened her eyes and sighed relieved to have Alex's arms around her. **

**"Not as much as I have with you. Did you get your business worked out?" Piper replied. Alex told her the new drug mule wouldn't leave the petro station near the airport until someone drove out there and go the stuff. Alex had to baby sit her through the whole process and then hook her up with a hotel room. It had been nerve wracking but she said that shipment should last a week. Piper turned her head and kissed Alex's forehead. She didn't trust her drunk breath for a real kiss. **

**"You work too much. My birthday is coming up, let's go somewhere and do something fun. I don't want a gift, just go somewhere and maybe you can make me something. I...want you...I want your time." Piper told her this while looking in to her sleepy hazel eyes. **

**"I'll think about it kid. You know what I want though? What I want right now more than anything?" Alex asked her. Piper shook her head and looked at her with wide eyes. Alex rarely stated what she wanted directly to Piper. She would tell others, boss them around and make what she wanted clearly known. But to Piper it was often a guessing game. **

**She turned Piper over and started to kiss her neck. " I want to taste you. I want to make you come on my mouth at least twice and then I want to fall to sleep holding you. Can you give me that Piper?" Alex's voice was thick with lust and Piper could barely swallow. She was still tipsy and she knew she was going to have a massive hang over. Yet she could feel the river running between her thighs and all she could do was open her legs in an invitation. Alex chuckled and started her kissing again, moving slowly down the body of her girlfriend. Piper squirmed under her tender ministrations and soon was crying out with passion as Alex latched on to her nub. Nothing in the world felt as good as Alex's mouth. Piper thought then in that moment, drug running or not, she could spend her whole life doing this with Alex Vause.**

Raven had called her name twice before Piper shook herself free from her memory. She was about to leave and wanted to know her schedule for the rest of the week. Piper had a book signing on Thursday and a radio show on Friday. She would be in the office at the beginning of the week. She told Raven to be back here on Wednesday. She knew Raven wanted to know if she was still going to have a job after the tour was finished. She was in grad school and the money she was paid was supporting her. Piper decided she'd talk it over with Alex and maybe they would find something for Raven. It was a rare thing to trust someone as much as she trusted Raven.

After she left, Piper texted Alex

Piper: Raven is gone, when is lunch with Nicky?

She didn't get a reply right away so she pulled out her elliptical machine and started her work out. She kept her phone on the machine and didn't turn up the music. She didn't want to scare Alex again by not replying right away. Finally she got a reply.

Alex: We're meeting them there at 1...I called and got us a table since it is Sunday. Um, sorry I'm running late but I'm trying to convince the store clerk not to call the cops on me. I'll explain later.

Piper read the text and nearly fell off of her machine. She grabbed up her phone and texted back.

Piper: Wtf? Where are you? Alex what happened?

There wasn't a reply and she started to really panic. What could have happened? Piper pulled on her shoes and grabbed her purse. She knew Alex walked and Raven told her where the closest market was so she figured she had walked the seven blocks over to the fresh market. Piper ran the entire way. She arrived panting and out of breath, not from the exertion but from fear. There was a cop car outside and she had to bite her lip to keep from sobbing. Alex had priors and if they ran her name she would be taken in to the precinct. The very idea of Alex in handcuffs again made Piper want to puke up her breakfast.

She walked in the busy store and over to the office. The first thing she saw was Alex sitting with her hands cuffed behind her. She walked straight towards her. She felt a hand on her arm and turned to see Larry standing there.

"Don't do anything stupid or you'll be cuffed too," he warned. Piper snatched her arm from him and brought both hands up to push him back. Immediately one of the officers pulled Piper off of him and turned her against the wall of the small office. Larry was trying to tell them to stop and Alex rose up out of her seat.

"Fuck you Larry, get the fuck away from her," Piper yelled. The officer, a big African American man told her to calm down.

" I take it this is the one you two were shouting over. Calm your ass down before I haul all of you in to the precinct." Piper relaxed in his grip and looked over to Alex. She couldn't take her eyes off of him and how he had Piper in his grip.

"Please officer, let her go. She is my ex-fiance and had every right to push me. We're very sorry for airing our grievances in public. Ms. Vause has every intention of paying for her food. She just got angry and followed me out of the store with her basket in hand." Larry tried to explain. He was the only one of the three without a record.

"Let go of her, she isn't struggling. Please let go of her," Alex begged. Larry looked over at her then at Piper. He swallowed.

"Please officer, let go of her. Piper is calm now, aren't you Pipes?" He said in a cajoling manner. Piper just nodded and looked over at Alex. She didn't trust herself to even look at Larry. The officer let Piper go and she immediately moved to Alex. Her arms went around her waist and she clung to her. Piper ran her hands up her back and checked that she was alright.

"I will pay for everything. Please just uncuff her...is Ronald here? He is the manager." Piper asked. She had known Ronald since they were kids. Cal had played on his hockey team. Ronald managed three different stores in the Brooklyn area. He came in to the office when the other officer went to bring him back inside. He saw Piper and how she held on to Alex.

"Oh, hey Piper, you know..oh shit..is this your Larry?" He asked with wide eyes. She turned but still kept her arm around Alex as if holding her could keep them from taking her away.

"Yes Ronnie, that is my Larry and this is now my Alex. Please, it is just a misunderstanding. We can't stand each other and emotions are running high. You know I'm good for whatever groceries she was buying. Dad is coming over for dinner tonight so she came here to get the best steaks around." Piper explained in her sweet public relations voice. She looked in the eye and smiled just for him. Ronnie had always liked her just a little bit. It used to drive Cal crazy when he'd moon over her after practices.

"I'm sorry officers, I didn't understand. I'm sure they didn't mean to yell and push each other. The display is already back up and the groceries will be paid for in full. Is there anyway we can just let this go?" Ronald asked them. The officers agreed but warned Alex to keep her temper in check next time. The officer that got Ronald, O'Malley- or so it said on his uniform, escorted Larry out of the office and store. He wanted to speak to Piper but she turned away from him completely. She knew if he so much as said one word to her, she'd deck him and get arrested on the spot.

The other officer, McAdams, uncuffed Alex and warned her about keeping her hands to herself. Piper took her hands in her own and rubbed her wrists softly. She was on the verge of tears. She turned away from Alex and hugged Ronnie.

"Thank you! I am so sorry, can I pay for damages?" Piper began.

"If anything is going to get paid for it will be by me. Thank you, Ronald. I'm sorry I lost my temper. " Alex said in a voice that told Piper she was very annoyed. Piper winced. She knew that she had hoped to get out of this by herself and it had pissed her off that Piper was able to smooth things over so easily.

"No problem Piper, you always did have a way of attracting trouble. Um..I didn't mean that as a dig about your serving time or anything. I read your book. It was great." He stammered. Piper told him she'd be happy to sign it the next time she was in the store. Alex was able to get her phone back from the officers before they left. He then led them to the check out and Alex was able to finally buy her goods. She shook his hand and they left together. Piper walked out into the street with Alex and was surprised when Alex hailed a cab.

"It is a short walk.." she began. Alex just looked at her with a dark look and Piper shut up. They got in the cab and Piper helped her set the groceries on her lap.

"You forgot your coat again, no since in you freezing on the walk back." Alex explained after they pulled out and headed back towards her brownstone.

"I can sense you're pissed. I think it is because I intervened but really Alex would you have rather been sent to jail?" Piper asked with a rising temper.

"I'm pissed you pushed and tried to slug Larry right in front of a cop! Truly Piper, do you think you are so privileged you can't get arrested as well? He had to restrain you!" Alex yelled. Piper turned to her and shoved the groceries in the floor.

"You were already in cuffs. I know they didn't cuff you for just yelling at Larry! You have no fucking room to talk Alex. What kind of person sends a text like that and then doesn't respond?" Piper yelled back. Alex took a deep breath and mumbled that they took her phone.

"I told them I had to have it back to explain to you and then Larry said some smart ass comment about me being pussy whipped and I tried to hit him again. That is when I was cuffed. To his credit, he did try to get them not to cuff me but they threatened to cuff him as well." Alex replied. Piper fell back in the seat and put rubbed her neck. She waited on Alex to explain what had happened.

"I first went for a walk around the park before I headed to the store. It was nice to clear my head and think about tonight's dinner. I was in the check out about to pay when he walked up to me. He told me that Polly had ruined his relationship and it was my entire fault. I pushed him back and told him to leave me alone. I took up my bags and was about to pay when he told me...that you were a lousy fuck anyway and I welcome to you. He said prison had ruined your pussy and it must have been all that fisting. Fuck Piper I lost it. I pushed him so hard he fell into the peanut butter display and then I chased him out in to the street and kicked him in the knee cap. He was on his way down and I probably would have beat the shit out of him when your friend Ronald came out. He pulled me back and told me I was shop lifting. I proceeded to cuss him out and Larry told him I was a criminal. He took me to his office and called the cops. Larry came in and tried to help but I threatened to kill him. I texted you then and well I explained what happened. I can't fucking believe I was in cuffs so fast and he was allowed to just stand there." Alex shook her head. Piper knew that once the cops knew you had a record you just weren't treated the same way.

"It's over. I forgot to tell you that Polly told his girlfriend all about what he did to us. I'm glad the lousy fuck lost her. He will lose more by the time I'm done with him." Piper promised. Alex looked at her and then took her hand. She used her thumb nail to rub up and down her fingers like she loves to do.

"When we're through with him...you aren't alone now, remember?" Alex said softly. Piper grinned and nodded. It was a short ride and then they were back home. They put up the groceries and got ready to go meet the girls. They took another cab and go there just in time for the reservation. Lorna was looking very cute in a long blue dress. Nicky had on an adorable skirt and blouse. They were perfect together, holding hands by the front of the cafe. They were seated quickly and Piper felt wonderful to be sitting with them eating again.

"I haven't eaten here before. I am trying to get used to Brooklyn," Nicky said. Piper knew she'd grown up on the Upper East side though you wouldn't know it by the way she talked. Lorna said she had eaten there once before. Piper sensed it was with Christopher so she didn't elaborate. They all ordered right away. Alex ordered a bottle of white wine for the table and made sure the waiter didn't pour any for Nicky. Piper ordered a Caesars salad with chicken breast. She wasn't surprised to see Nicky order the Nathans dog and Lorna the cheese steak. Alex ordered the fish tacos and Piper was surprised. She guessed Alex was going to have a big dinner...if her nerves will let her eat.

"Okay, I can't wait any longer. Where did you get that ring?" Lorna asked. Piper laughed out loud. She knew Lorna would notice.

"My woman gave it to me...she asked me to marry her while we were in Toronto and I said yes," Alex replied. Lorna screamed out so loud everyone in the Cafe looked over. She jumped up and ran around the table to kiss and hug them both. Nicky leaned back and smiled at them.

"Oh this is great! I knew you two would end up together but I admit, I thought Alex would do the asking," Lorna gushed.

"Please, do you know Alex Vause? I'm surprised you said yes...I'm happy for you both though. Um, you sure Vause?" Nicky asked. Piper looked over after her hug from Lorna. She hadn't even considered that Nicky wouldn't be all for their union.

"Yeah, I'm sure Nicky. I wasn't sure about marriage but I've thought about it. I thought about what it means to make a life with someone beyond just adventure. Besides, Piper assured me that we can have whatever type of marriage we want. I'm going to have her a ring made near Christmas. We'll probably have a long engagement," Alex said, looking to Piper. Piper reached over and took her hand.

"We'll have whatever we want. I'm just really happy with the promise," she answered. She peeked her eyes over to Alex and saw her expression. They didn't know how rare a promise for the future was from Alex. Maybe Nicky did but what others took to be normal relationship behavior was new to Alex. The only thing you can guarantee from Alex was a good time. They ate and talked about memories from Litchfield. Alex told the story of what happened at the store.

"Fuck Vause, you gotta check your temper. You know it wouldn't go good for you if you were brought in," Nicky scolded.

Lorna reached over and took Piper's hand, "Are you alright? I think I'd lose my shit to see Nicky in cuffs again." Lorna asked. Nicky stopped her berating of Alex and looked over at Lorna. She reached over and took her girlfriend's hand and kissed her fingers softly.

"Yeah, it was awful...worse was Alex watching them restrain me after I pushed Larry though," Piper admitted. Nicky's eyebrows shot up and then Piper explained what happened once she got there. Nicky laughed when she heard the store manager was a childhood friend.

"Speaking of store managers, I got the resumes you left but I had an idea. What do you think about waiting to get one or maybe hiring an interim manager but giving the job to Taystee?" Alex suggested. Lorna's eyebrows shot up and Nicky leaned back.

"I was thinking about it but I wasn't sure if you thought she could do it. I mean there is a lot of stuff on the computer you have to do. We could send her to come courses though. What do you think baby?" Nicky said as she looked to Lorna. Piper realized then that it was really all three of them that ran the businesses. Alex sipped her wine and listened. Piper held her breath and wondered if Lorna would share her unique view of African Americans.

"I think that Taystee would be fantastic. I know a few courses she could take at my college. Maybe the Women's Prison Association can help." As she said it she looked over to Piper. Piper just smiled at Lorna. She had really grown in her view of the world.

Piper said she'd look in to it. They decided to hire an interim manager while Taystee is finishing out her time. She can learn from them but they have to find someone that doesn't mind the interim position. It was then Piper got an idea. "You know my assistant may want an interim position. She is great and could do the job well. She is in grad school so as long as we work with her schedule, she may do it."

Alex liked the idea. They agreed to talk about it more before they brought it to Taystee. Lorna pointed out though that they should tell her soon because she may make plans to move. " I think she'll end up near Poussey if we don't tell her. This may maybe Poussey could move closer. Those two are good friends," Lorna observed. Piper always liked Poussey. She never forgot how they had helped her learn to fight when Pensatucky was after her. They all hugged their goodbyes and left. It had been wonderful to spend time with them and Piper realized again the only good thing she got out of prison was her friends...and her new connection to Alex.

Once back at her place Piper prepped the steaks while Alex worked. She was on the phone to Taystee and laughing. Apparently Taystee had strong opinions about the book signing they had there that day. It had been a children's book author and she felt that guy was creepy. Once all their work was completed, Alex went with Piper upstairs to help her bring down the boxes for Piper's dad. Piper tried to help her with one box but Alex just shrugged her away. Her arms were so strong that Piper actually licked her lips.

"At the boot camp we had PT or physical training. I had no upper body strength so I was made to lift weights for an hour a day. It was terrible. The officer stood over me and yelled if I tried to stop. I nearly quit..Oh I don't know how many times. He call me a fucking cry baby and tell me to get strong or get out. Eventually I buffed up enough to pull myself over the damn wall. I just kept working out my upper body after that because it was time away from the barracks." Alex shared. Piper just listened and nodded. She had a trainer once that would yell to push her to work harder. She took it for three sessions before she switched. She couldn't imagine what it would be like from a CO.

"That must have been tough baby. I don't know how you did it," Piper admitted.

Alex smiled at her and said, "Piper I knew I had to get out. I wasn't going to make it or stay clean if I stayed in prison. I needed freedom...I needed to see you too much," she admitted. Piper put down her box and walked over to Alex. She kissed her as she held her box.

"I am so happy you made it. Put that box down and come take a bath with me. We've got some time before Dad gets here." Piper suggested. Alex liked that idea and took her hand. They walked towards the bathroom and Piper said, "You know we are going to have to deal with Larry as well. Polly may have started by costing him Mila, but I want to make him suffer more. I want him to know what it is like to have your life smashed by someone's intentional cruelty." Piper said. Alex looked at her and bent her head to kiss Piper. She then started the water and turned to undress Piper.

"I don't know if I like you so vengeful...but I also find it sexy. I was thinking that maybe I could buy in to the company that owns the magazine he edits. I asked my accountant to look into it already. If I can get enough leverage I'll have him let go, even if I have to buy him out of his contract. " Alex shared. Piper wasn't surprised that Alex had already put something in to motion. She was touched that Alex shared.

"I like that idea. Better yet, maybe you could just get him transferred out of the city. I'd like to be able to go to the grocery store without seeing his face," Piper suggested. Alex laughed and nodded. "Did it feel good to kick him? I only got a push in, I wanted to pound his face," Piper said.

Alex grinned at her in the way that makes her whole face light up. " My blood thirsty girl. So sexy...yes it felt nice but at the same time I felt real fear when the manager said he called the cops. All I could think of was how you would have to call your dad and cancel dinner to come bail me out." Piper made a sweet noise in her throat when she heard that and kissed Alex.

"I would have understood. He was being a dick and had no right to speak to you like that. My dad would understand you were defending my honor." Piper said to her as she took off Alex's clothes. They sank in to the water and snuggled up close. Piper was in her happy place and in the arms of her love.

"I will always defend you...I wasn't always so giving...I didn't always put you first. I'm still a bit messed up and there are things we need to talk about. I just want you to know that I'll never go back to that person again. You can depend on me." Alex told her as she held her close. Piper leaned up and turned so she was facing Alex. She reached out and traced her fingertips down her cheek.

"Ditto, kiddo," Piper replied. Alex laughed a deep laugh with her head thrown back and Piper laughed along with her.

***An extra long one for the weekend. It helped me to finish this because my Panthers can't seem to win a frakin' ball game! Please review and share your thoughts. You touch me with each one. If you are a guest and review I can't respond, so please consider joining the site. Please follow the story and follow me on Twitter or tumblr. Twitter is at symbol faecym and tumblr is faecym-mica...chasing rainbows. Peace and Happy Sunday to you, Fae**


	86. Chapter 86 When Dad Comes to Dinner

They got dressed after their bath. Alex tried on three different outfits she brought with her. She settled on a long grey dress with sleeves long enough to cover most of her arm tats. Piper sat on the bed with her laptop, scrolling through her tumblr and twitter pages. She watched Alex do her makeup in the most conservative way she had ever seen her do it.

"Polly tweeted me. She sent an instagram pic of Finn asleep in his car seat. They are travelling to see her Aunt. It is adorable, look." Piper said. She turned her laptop around and Alex looked in the mirrror. She smiled. Piper wondered if it was alright to make someone that isn't your child your desktop background.

"You adore him. You practically ooze desire for a child when you see him." Alex observed. Piper darted her eyes up and then looked back down fast. She shrugged. She wasn't ready to approach this subject with her.

"I was never around babies much. I don't recall Cal as a baby, I'm only a few years older. Now I'm going to be a Aunt soon. I still can't wrap my head around the fact my brother has procreated. There will be a little Cal running around." Piper shook her head and looked back at her screen.

Alex was putting her hair up with some pins. Piper glanced over and admired the back of her neck. "Do you want children Piper?" Alex asked in a soft voice. Piper froze.

"Do you?" she asked back. It may have been a coward's response but she wasn't going to broach this subject now.

"I don't know. I used to know. I used to know exactly what I thought of this world and my life. There was no place in it for snot nosed kids. Now though I think more about being a parent...and I think it is because I know it is something we'd do together. So, my best answer is, I don't know but if I did it with anyone it would be you." Alex responded. Piper looked in to the mirror and met Alex's eyes with ones of her own.

"Yes I want kids and I thank you for saying that. I can live without children Alex, so don't feel any pressure...I mean I have lived without them this long. I just don't know if I can live without you again." Piper said. Alex nodded and smiled at her. She then stood and walked over beside the bed.

"What do you think?" she asked. Piper was relieved the subject is closed. She looked her girlfriend up and down.

"You look like you're about to go to church. You know my dad would be alright if he saw you in jeans and a Tee shirt tattoos all showing..." Piper commented. Alex reached down and took her by the hand, pulling her into her embrace.

"I want to present a good picture to him. I mean I have already led you to crime Piper. I want him to know I'll never do it again. I want him to see someone besides the woman that made his daughter a lesbian criminal." Alex said. Piper winced and kissed her neck where she had been looking before.

She really had no one to blame but herself for how her family saw Alex. No one but Cal really knew Alex and he only met her for a few minutes once. "He knows I love you Alex. We had a good talk when he came to visit me. He told me not to marry Larry if I was still in love with you." Piper reminded her.

Alex said she remembered their talk as well. "I'm hoping I make the right impression now." Piper kissed her chin and sat her down on the bed. She straddled Alex and she made noise asking her not to wrinkle her dress.

"Oh wow, I never thought I'd hear you say that. You know I was very nervous when I met your mother. I knew there was no one in your life more important to you and if she didn't like me...if she thought I was stuck up and selfish, you'd dump me." Piper shared as she kissed Alex's face with soft feathery kisses. Her fiancé warmed up to the cute woman on her lap. She kissed Piper's neck and Piper rewarded her with a sweet moan.

Then she heard the doorbell and Alex's face went white. Piper couldn't help but laugh. "The last time someone looked like that about meeting my father was my high school boyfriend. He took my virginity and was scared Dad could tell. You know when Dad first saw you he said, "well that explains a lot" I nearly fell out of my chair laughing." Piper said as she climbed off her lap and took her by the hand. Alex actually smiled.

"He probably could tell. I don't know anything about having a father but I've heard they are hard on boyfriends of their teenage girls," Alex replied in a voice that resounded with forced ease. Piper walked ahead and thought again about how difficult Alex's life was as a kid. She let go of her head and Alex went nervously to the stand by the arm chair. Piper walked over and pushed a stray lock of her gorgeous hair behind her ear.

"You're amazingly beautiful and I love you." Piper said to her then she stood on her toes and kissed her lips softly. She walked back to the door and opened it to her father. He stood on the porch holding some flowers. She had to smile. Her dad always brought her flowers when he visited. The first time she saw him while at Litchfield she had to remind herself he couldn't bring her any there. She took the bouquet of lilies and smiled.

"My favorite, Daddy, thank you," Piper said as she hugged him and kissed his cheek. He was looking slimmer and she noticed the grey that used to just sprinkle his temple had spread throughout his hair. Her father was aging and Piper was taken by it as she hugged him. She squeezed him harder at the thought. She hadn't seen him in four months due to her busy book tour schedule. "Come in, it is getting colder out." Piper ushered him inside and looked over at Alex.

"Dad, not sure you remember but this is..." Piper began.

He interrupted by holding up his hand, "I can never forget the woman that sent you to prison, Piper," he responded.

Piper swallowed as she saw Alex go a shade paler, "No Dad, she didn't send me to prison, my actions did. Alex offered me a choice and I made the wrong one. Please, it doesn't do any good to blame others for your own actions. You did teach me that...or at least try to teach me that." Piper conceded. Her father didn't respond so Piper motioned him towards the sofa. She asked if either of them would like some wine and Alex nodded.

"Good to see you again Sir, " Alex said to him. He nodded to her then looked to his daughter.

"None for me, little one...what is for dinner?" he asked as he got comfortable.

"Steak, potato and salad, Dad, rather simple..." Piper said as she put the Lilies in a vase and put them on the table.

"I love the rub she puts on the steaks. I don't eat them much but hers are great." Alex offered. Piper had to smile as she was trying so hard to strike up a conversation. Her father looked over at Alex. She smiled back at him and Piper went to sit beside her on the arm of the chair.

"Tell me Alex, what are you doing now you're out of prison?" he asked her in a tone that Piper recognized as the one he used before he said something he might regret. She gave him the "look" that she perfected watching her mother. He squinted his eyes at her and she heard Alex's intake of breath. She looked down at Alex and she shook her head.

"Sir, I made some investments with money from the sale of my mother's home. I now own stock in some management companies. I am also part owner of three bookstores here in the city." Alex told him then she sipped some of her wine. Piper put her hand on Alex's shoulder.

"They are great stores Dad, I did a reading there. That is how I found her again." Piper said.

"I heard from your mother that Larry did something specific that propelled Alex to get a transfer. She was rather upset about it all. Also today, I got a call from Ron Stratton Sr. " he said as he looked at Piper.

"Fuck," Piper said. Alex's eyes got wide and she looked up at Piper.

"Yes, Fuck. Well put Piper, it is always nice to see how the money I spent on your education has improved your vocabulary. I guess the even the Seven Sisters couldn't compete with prison," he said dryly. Piper apologized and Alex looked at her in inquiry.

"Ronnie..um Ronald is his son. He is a Mason with my father. I take it Dad that Ronnie called his dad and told him about our little incident today at one of his stores," Piper said. She should have known it would get around. She was lucky her mother hadn't called her yet.

"Sir, Larry insulted-" Alex began. Mr. Chapman held up his hand silencing her like he did his daughter earlier.

"Ron shared that basically you were defending my daughter's honor. What bothers me is that it was violent. I spoke with Cal and he said Larry most likely deserved it. Are you going to deal with all problems with violence Alex?" He asked her.

"No Sir, I usually do not but when it comes to your daughter...and with what I've been through..." Alex stopped and cleared her throat.

"Dad, I pushed him too and if I hadn't been pulled off of him...and Alex chewed me out for it. I hate him. He..you know what it did to me Daddy," Piper said with her voice breaking. Alex reached out and took her hand and her father rose from the couch and walked over.

"I know, Piper. I saw what not knowing where she was did to you and I saw how much you loved her when I visited Litchfield. I just want to be sure you will not hit or push him again. You both have a record and you can't do it." Her father said as she put his arm around her shoulder.

"We will be careful Sir. I will not let anything happen to her again," Alex rose and looked him in the eye. "I will do anything to keep her free, safe and whole." Her voice was so sincere that Piper felt her heart clench. Alex looked at Piper with such love that Piper practically glowed.

He saw this, took a few moments then nodded. "So you can take care of my daughter financially...more than Larry did without assistance from his parents," her father pointed out. Piper's eyes got wide as she heard him say that. He had never spoken ill of Larry but now she saw perhaps he had different opinions.

Piper took that moment to usher her dad in to the dining room. The steaks were placed on the grill and she poured him some water. Alex put out the rest of the food and sat beside Piper.

"Medium-rare Dad? Piper asked her father as she put the steaks on the grill. He told her it was fine and asked Alex about her stores. She lit up as she talked about her business plan and how the first two stores were doing well. She assured him she had sufficient funds and plans to make money in the store despite the recent trend to electronic devices.

"I love how friendly the stores are to all devices, not just selling them like you get in a big stores. You can bring your kindle, read, drink coffee...do homework and feel at home. I love it there already." Piper said. Alex looked at her and couldn't stop smiling.

"What does it feel like to have the woman you love be proud of the work you do Alex?" her father asked in his quiet voice as Piper put his steak on his plate. She frowned at her father and squinted her eyes in warning.

"It is amazing, Sir. I...have worked really hard to get that look from her. It is why I went through hell, even when I thought she was married to another, to get even the chance of seeing her again." Piper put Alex's steak on her plate and then sat down with her own. She wanted to make a funny comment to difuse the serious conversation. Yet she could tell that Alex's words meant something to her father as well as her.

"Piper would you please get me some bread?" her father asked. Piper nodded and rose going to the kitchen to get some rolls. Once she had walked away from the table, she listened carefully. She knew her father well enough to know he didn't eat break with this meal.

"Alex, I believe you love her and have worked hard to make your life something that you could share with her. I need to know you will not take off on her again when things get tough." He asked her. Piper froze as she reached for the rolls and kept her back to them.

"Sir, I have every intention of being here. Actually, I'd like to ask you for her hand in marriage. Piper asked me recently and I accepted but it would mean everything to us if we could have your blessing." Alex said. She rushed the last bit but Piper had to admit she did a great job. She stayed in the kitchen slowly putting rolls in the basket.

"I figured as much when I saw my mother's ring around your neck," he said. Piper took the rolls and walked over.

"She didn't want to wear it around family until we talked Dad. Here you go." Piper explained as she sat down with the rolls. Alex took one and smiled at her. Piper smiled back and took her hand.

He looked at them both and then nodded slowly. "Alright Alex, you have my permission. Take care of each other and remember that loving each other isn't enough. Love without respect can't sustain a life together." Alex thanked him and Piper hugged him. They ate and he complimented Piper on the steak. She noted he didn't finish his but she was happy he liked the food. Alex explained they weren't in any hurry and she had work to do on herself. She didn't mention she was starting therapy that week but Piper knew she was private with details of her life.

After dinner, Alex cleaned up and Piper went through the boxes with her father. He got a bit misty-eyed when he saw some of the things his mother kept. He took a few of her letters with him and told Piper to send the rest of the stuff to his place.

"What did you want to talk to me about Dad? Was it Alex?" Piper asked as she walked him to the door.

"Mainly, yes, the rest can wait. I'm happy for you Piper. Just remember to use your head and make decisions not your heart...and watch that temper. I swear you are just like your mother," he said as he kissed her goodbye at the door. Alex walked over behind her as he left and said goodnight. Piper closed the door and fell back against it.

"What a stiff drink?" she asked.

"Oh God yes! That was harder than dealing with an irate drug lord when I lost a shipment." Alex said. Piper walked in to her arms and was grateful she only used those types of analogies with her.

"One thing first," Piper began. She took off the necklace she had given her yesterday and put the ring on her finger to stay this time. "Here, now we can tell everyone yes?" Piper asked. Alex smiled that smile that made her whole face brighten.

"Yes!" Alex looked at the ring and sighed such a girly sigh that Piper had to laugh. Alex went to the couch and kicked off her shoes getting more comfortable. Piper poured her a single malt whiskey with a splash of water. She sat on the couch and tucked her feet up under her. Alex pulled down the blanket and covered them both up.

"You look just like him when you are pissed and squint at me. It took me by surprise...I have often wondered where you got that look, I just assumed it was your hard ass mom." Alex shared. Piper frowned.

"I am often told I look like her and it used to really bother me. I guess prison and old age is mellowing me out...or maybe just my mom. I used to spend all my time with him when I was young. Cal did his own thing but I was stuck to my Dad like glue. He liked to read so I would sit with him and read in his library." Piper told her.

"You never talked much about him before," Alex observed. She pulled Piper's head down to rest on her shoulder as they snuggled.

Piper thought about how to say this, "I didn't want you to feel bad, baby. I know you didn't grow up with a father. I thought if I rubbed your face in the fact I really loved mine and had a great dad that it would be cruel." Alex was quiet for a long while.

"I probably would have thought that. Did you know I met the guy that got me in to drug trafficking the one and only time I ever met my dad? It was...not a good memory. I see now that he saw someone that would be willing to work for the freedom and control drug money would offer them. I couldn't see then that it would cost me my freedom and control. It nearly cost me everything." Alex replied in a small voice. Piper looked up and her and took her drink from her hand. She put it on the table and straddled her.

"Let me show you want you have now, " she said as she started to kiss her woman fiercely. Piper did show her, over and over. That night they slept holding one another close and when Alex jerked awake crying out, she reached for Piper. Piper was very happy to be the one there.

***Got to love dads! I love the Sea Hawks and Steelers too btw ;) I will be finishing this story in the next bit but I will do another story...an epilogue if you will of certain events in their lives. Thank you for reading my story. You often tell me it helps you with the hiatus between the seasons and I wanted to say that writing it helps me as well. I can't wait to see what Jenji and the rest of the talented writers create for Season 2. Please review! Fae


	87. Chapter 87 Pay It Forward

Again, Alex made her breakfast, took their bags and went with her to the train. She didn't take a car this time and they separated on the platform. Piper kissed her goodbye and enjoyed a close hug.

"Don't work too late, please," Alex asked. Piper told her she would be having a working lunch and dinner and be to her place around seven. Alex kissed her again and got on her train. Piper was riding on cloud nine all the way to work. She spent her day with a smile on her face. Numerous times people asked her what had changed on her trip. She just smiled. She wasn't really ready to share the news with work yet. She wanted to tell Cal and her mom first. Her day was long but she was super productive. Her evening working dinner was short and sweet. She made sure many knew it was Jennifer that did most of the work and put the spotlight on her. She led her through the meeting, getting her back on track here or there. It was nice but all Piper really wanted to do was go home to her woman.

She took a cab when she left the restaurant. She turned down three people asking her for drinks. Two of them she was pretty sure weren't business oriented. One was an older colleague from a non-profit that had asked her out before. The other was a very lovely female lawyer. She politely declined both but it did boost her confidence. It is true what they say about never being more attractive to others than when you are in love.

This of course made her wonder about how many people tried to pick up Alex today. She felt secure in that Alex would turn them all down. After all she was her fiance now. Piper came in the back way because the store looked busy. Alex told her it was the first meeting of some book club. She punched in the code, took off her shoes and walked in to the living room. She went straight to Alex's desk and put down her brief case.

"Hey, glad you're home," Alex said. Piper jumped. She had assumed Alex was downstairs working. She turned to see her with a bottle of tequila, a shot glass and a letter in front of her on the counter. Immediately Piper felt her heart flutter with dread. She knew Alex didn't do shots alone unless she had something hard going on in her life. Once Piper had returned from a day trip to Stonehenge and found her drinking shots. She had a fight with her mother because she had to lie to her about what she was doing in Europe. It had been a terrible fight and Alex wrestled with telling her the truth. Eventually, she told her she did some illegal activities but never elaborated.

Piper walked over to the cabinets, opened a few then found herself a shot glass. She made a note to do as Alex did and explore her cabinets. She put the glass beside Alex's and sat across from her. She poured herself a nice shot and then leaned back some on the stool. She looked at the envelop and recognized the return address as Danbury FCI.

"Want to talk about why you are staring at this letter and doing shots?" Piper asked softly as she tossed back her first one. Alex automatically poured them both another. She peered up and then back down at the letter.

"Do I want to talk about it? No. But I know I should. If this is going to work...this life together as wives...I have to learn to share with you. I'm trying to decide if I should just take the damn thing to therapy and let the shrink decide," Alex admitted.

Piper reached across the bar and took her hand, "That isn't how therapy works. She will talk to you about what this letter might mean and let you make the decision. You do all the work in there Alex, she just provides a safe, sane and calm place to do it." Piper spoke with gentle words. She forcefully kept her eyes up looking at Alex's face rather than read the name on the envelop.

"Okay, it is from my ex-bunkie Becca." Alex began.

"The one that helped you get back in to NA?" Piper clarified. Alex nodded and then she cleared her throat.

"She did more than that. I...was her girlfriend for the last few months I was there." Alex said in a quiet voice. Piper pulled her hands away and took her shot. Then she poured herself another one...she always knew Alex had lovers while in prison. She wasn't sure about when she was in Litchfield but she was more sure she had slept with someone when she requested the transfer. But Alex didn't say she had just slept with her. She had said she was specifically her girlfriend.

" I see." Piper responded. Alex looked at her and bit her bottom lip in that way that said she was scared. "So you broke up with her before you left?" Piper hated the way her voice sounded but she couldn't beat down the fear.

"Not exactly." Alex said. Piper took another shot and slammed down her glass.

"What the fuck do you mean not exactly Alex? I asked you if you were free the first fucking night we found each other again and you said yes!" Piper felt panic and anger rising.

"I am. I consider it over...I just didn't actually say it to her. Look, she didn't know about the deal, no one did. I wasn't supposed to talk about it. I talked to Roger on Christmas day. He told me you were unhappy and I just..." Alex tried to explain but just took a shot when she couldn't figure out the right words. Piper tried to calm her pulse. She stood up and walked away from Alex. She crossed her arms over her chest and looked out at the amazing view.

"Just what Alex? Left without explaining anything to her? Just disappeared on her one morning with no word? You are really fucking good at that," Piper said with the venom that can only come from a pain you have maybe forgiven but not forgotten.

"Pretty much. I made no promises to her." Alex said. Piper laughed. She knew that Alex didn't make promises or plans. Like she said once to Piper, she free falls through life.

Alex approached Piper and she could see her relection in the large window. She stiffened her body. She wasn't ready for Alex to touch her. "Piper, I didn't know if I was going to make it through the program. If I quit, I would have been put back in the system anywhere. I didn't think it was fair to let her hope I'd return there. I did write her and tell her once I made it past the first part...and again when I got to New York. This is the first time she responded." Alex turned to look back at the letter as if it were a letter bomb.

"What do you want it to say Alex?" Piper asked. Alex pushed her glasses up on her head and pinched her nose.

"This was one of the things I wanted to tell you. I slept with a few girls before her but we were steady. Becca is a good woman and she helped me when I needed her. She is short...her date is coming up." Alex shared. Piper felt her heart race with fear. Becca was getting out soon.

Piper turned and looked at Alex and asked again, "What do you want it to say Alex?" Her voice was thin and she knew it sounded like she was about to cry because she felt she might. Alex took a step closer to Piper and started to put her arms around her but stopped when she saw her expression.

"I don't know Piper. I guess I want her to say she forgives me for leaving like I did. That she understands why it was so hard and that she wishes me well." Alex explained.

"I doubt that is what it will say Alex. Do you want her? Do you hope she shows up at your door and you can start over where you left off? No crazy ass ex-fiances, no workaholic- rage filled partner, no family issues- just this paragon of virtue and you, sober and free." Piper's voice sounded shrill even to her own ears and she winced.

Alex took Piper by the arms and pulled her to her. "No! I am your fiance. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. Piper you threw me for a loop when you told me you'd not been with anyone since me...not even Larry. I..didn't know how to tell you I had hooked up and had a relationship while we were apart. I'm just scared I'm going to have to hurt her or hurt you...and if I'm honest with myself, I'm pissed that I care. You know me, I am a pragmatist. Part of me still thinks I should put myself first and say fuck it!"

Piper looked at her and looked in to her eyes. "Is it that voice that is going to make you just walk out on me one day? That pragmatist voice that will tell you that married life isn't for you and off you go." Piper felt her anger rise and she just embraced it. It was easier to be angry that to admit the choking fear.

"Piper Chapman, I will do everything in my power to always be with you! I accepted your proposal to prove that to you. Fuck Piper what more do you want?" Alex retorted. Piper jerked away from her and walked across the living room.

"I want you not to have a fucking girlfriend. I want you all to myself and I want you never to decide I'm better off without you or you are better off without me by your fucking self. I want a life partner for the rest of my life." Piper practically shouted.

" I don't have a girlfriend. I made it clear in the letters I wrote that it was over. I told her I wasn't over you and that if I made it through the program, I would be turning to New York City." Alex said. Piper swallowed and looked over to the counter.

"I refuse to be held hostage by a fucking letter." She walked over and grabbed it up. She started opening it and Alex protested.

"Get over it! If you want to turn me in for mail tampering go ahead. You can visit me in Litchfield and get more letters from girls that love you from Prison," Piper murmured on about Louann and Joann. " You know I turned down two dates tonight because I am a woman that is completely taken." She mumbles more as she opened it and held up the letter.

She read it out loud;

_Dear Alex, _

_I didn't know what to write to you when you were in Texas and even now I am unsure. This is my fifth attempt at a letter. Your letter was very informative. I was really pissed at you for a long time. I guess I shouldn't be surprised because you bailed on that other woman too. You have a pattern of behavior there that is selfish and cruel. I didn't deserve to be treated that way_.

Piper stopped reading and looked up, " She nailed you." Alex frowned and sat down on the stool. Piper noted how pale she was and as she continued reading she wasn't as mean in her voice. She continued;

_I thought we had something good. You know how hard it was for me to trust you with my body after Ellie. You basically disappeared like she did when she got out. If I could have got my hands on you I would have smacked you and tossed you to the Dyke crew for a work over. _

_Nevertheless, I was happy to know you weren't dead. I haven't heard anything really good about that boot camp but I'm not surprised you made it through. You are tougher than you give yourself credit for and I never doubted you could get out. I read your second letter and was impressed with how fast you were free. That must have been some deal. I heard more about the case you testified for and I guess bringing down three rotten officers and one corrupt Assistant Warden does bring some perks. It is a miracle you were allowed to live. I think like everything else it all depends on your lawyer. _

_As you know my date is coming up. As it stands now, I will go to house arrest in the City. I will need to get a job and I know how hard that will be. I have a group already set up but I worry that once I'm back in my old neighborhood, staying clean will be hard. So, you owe me and I thought I'd collect. First, I'd like you to direct me to a good group. I KNOW you are still going to your meetings. Second, I'd like a job. I don't have to work directly with you but I know you have a few businesses now with your friend Nicky. The word is you have Louann working for you at one of your stores in a work program. _

_I'm not out to pick up where we left off. I will be focused on staying clean and staying free. I don't want to return to what we were, I just want a chance. Let me know before I leave here so I can make the arrangements. You know the date. _

_Sincerely, _

_Becca Kane._

Piper put the letter down before she wadded it up. Of course, she wants Alex to help her. Piper couldn't blame her. Hadn't see used her time since she wrote the book trying to help convicts? Yet she hated the idea of that woman working with Alex. She didn't want her near her because she got to touch Alex when Piper was alone and wanting. She got to fuck her fiance when Piper was choking on her own vomit and angst.

"Talk to me. What do want me to do?" Alex asked. Piper snorted and rubbed her face. She walked over to the door and stopped with her hand on the knob.

"You should pay it forward...but I can't make that decision for you Alex. I'm going to go for a walk...alone." Piper said as she opened it. She needed air.

Alex rushed to her and took her by the arm. She turned her around and took her face in her hands. " Piper please don't leave...don't shut me out. Our life together means everything to me, I know I'm fucked up but I'm trying so hard." Alex said in a voice she had never heard before. Piper reached up and placed her palm against her cheek.

"I'll be back Alex. I'm not going to leave you, just give you some space to think. I knew you had been with others, I knew when we were apart. I laid awake at night imagining you with them. I would wake up wet from wanting you and then get sick knowing it wasn't me you were..." Piper swallowed and Alex pressed her forehead to hers. Piper sighed and lowered her hand. She asked. "Are there anymore lovers in the woodwork waiting to come out? Pun intended there, carpenter," she said in an attempt at a lame joke.

"No. Like I said, a few one time things and then Becca. I'll tell you all about them if you want to know. I will tell you everything Piper, I just have to know you won't run out on me again." Alex whispered.

Piper sighed, "We both have hurt each other by running out when we needed each other the most. I guess only time and being there will make that better. I'm going to walk down by the river and I'll be back. I promise. No more drinking though, you always think better when you are sober." Alex nodded and held her hand as she walked to the closet. She took out her leather jacket and put it on Piper, making sure she is covered and warm.

"It's getting cold. Here wear this and stay warm until you are back with me. I...love you Piper," Alex told her. Piper zipped up her jacket and walked to the door. She opened it and stopped in the threshold.

Looking back she said, "I love you too. You infuriate me but I adore you. See ya soon." Piper left and exited via the store. She turned up her collar and kept her head down lest Taystee wanted to talk. She welcomed the cold air on her face as she walked out in to the New York night.

She returned a couple of hours later and put Alex's coat back in the closet. The lights were turned down and Piper went into the bedroom. She saw Alex sitting on the bed with a book in her hand. She was staring into space not really reading. She looked up and Piper could see she was crying. Piper stripped off her clothing and slowly walked around the bed to lie down beside her. She wrapped her arms around her waist and nuzzled in to her warmth. She felt Alex relax and she knew that she had been worried that Piper wouldn't return.

"I want to help her. I owe her but I will do nothing if you don't approve. You mean more to me than any debt I may owe." Alex said softly.

Piper sat up and kissed Alex softly," I don't want her at this store and she has to know about us. But I wouldn't expect anything else from you. You are the kind of person now that wants to pay it forward. It is one more thing to love about you. Now, show me how wonderful I am and go really out of her way to make it up to me." Piper said as she reached for Alex's shirt. She tore off her clothing and kissed her hard. Piper wanted to imprint herself on Alex. She wanted her to feel her all over her body. She bit her shoulder hard and pushed Alex's hand to her sex. Their sex was hard and fast. Piper looked her in the eyes the entire time. Alex panted and growled out how much she loved her as Piper came hard on her fingers. They fell together into the covers. Piper kissed her face all over and told her how much she loved her as well. They talked for a few more hours and planned it all out. Piper fell to sleep more sure of her love.

*** Ah more about what she was hiding...little by little..Please Review: Fae


	88. Chapter 88 A Soft Place to Fall

They lay entangled together in the soft sheets, still panting from the urgency and physical exertion of their love making. Piper was pretty much on top of Alex, she tried to move to the side but Alex held on to her, holding her place. Piper could hear her heart beating fast under her ear and she closed her eyes to get lost in the sound.

Some time passed before Alex spoke, "I wish I could just blurt out things to you...tell you everything all at once. I am afraid...of losing you...of getting mad that I have to share...of showing weakness. I don't want to be that way but I am." Piper squeezed her more and lifted her head. She looked into Alex's eyes and got lost for several moments.

"I love you...I know how you are and Alex, please give yourself credit. You've come so damn far. We communicate now on a more intimate level. We've always been able to tell each other things...eventually. Remember when I told you about my first time with a girl? I was so ashamed she was married. You listened and told me she was older. You told me that choices are made sometimes that we can't get back. I want to be your safe place, your soft place to fall and I know reacting like I did to Becca doesn't help." Piper admitted. Alex told her she understood.

Piper shifted in the bed and turned her head to the side. Alex turned over and wrapped her legs around Piper. She pulled her up close and pulled the blankets up to cover them, making a cocoon of warmth.

She reached up and lifted Piper's chin and pressed her forehead to hers. "In here, we are safe. No running, ever...just us. Personally, I think you handled that brilliantly. See...you came back. When we first got together, I should have told you then that I had been with Becca. She was important to me and I don't think I could have made it to or maybe even, through the boot camp if I hadn't met her. I want to tell you all though...all my sexual activity when we were apart," as Alex spoke she rubbed Piper's back with sure hands. Piper looked up when she said she wanted to tell her everything. She braced herself and pressed her body closer. Piper took Alex's arm and brought her hand down to her sex. She pressed her wetness, still warm from their lovemaking, into her palm. Alex looked at her questioning what she wanted.

"Hold me there and tell me," Piper whispered. Alex smiled a little and slipped her fingertips inside of Piper. She pressed her palm against her mound. Alex pulled up just a tad and Piper felt her grip. She shivered and pressed her forehead back against Alex.

"Okay, first...at Litchfield I was a mess when you left. Inconsolable really...everyone pitched in like I told you and made sure I ate. At night, it was worse. Just knowing you were a few bunks down had been how I made myself sleep. I would close my eyes and imagine...Larry inside of you," Alex swallowed and Piper slipped her hand down to rest against her warm mound. She smiled some and continued, "We were talking regularly...there was stress with the guards. I healed from my beating and then girls started to come on to me. It was mostly in the shower, Joann, Lewis, Stranton..I turned them all down. Nicky spoke to some of them and they backed off. It was before we were going to report it and I wasn't sure when or if I'd ever get out of the SHU...and Stacy came to me. She wanted...no needed release. She was frustrated as hell and it was messing with her friendship with Suzanne. She didn't want to confuse her but she wanted to be with a woman. I gave in and made love to her. "Piper's entire body tensed and she jerked her hand up. Alex held her close. Piper's heart was pounding and she felt fury. Fury at her former bunkie who knew full well how much Piper loved Alex. She had witness firsthand the agony she went through to leave Alex. She had watched as Piper struggled to sleep each night. Piper fought the urge to pull away and get up.

She had promised to listen and be her safe place. She had promised.

"We were still talking then...you didn't...she didn't! Fuck Alex, I just emailed her two days ago," Piper was pissed. She had made three phone calls to help get Stacy placed in a good half way house near her home.

"She didn't know Pipes. Not until afterwards...I got emotional and when she asked I told her we were still talking. I told her it had to be secret because you were still on probation. She was furious with me. I told her we'd never speak of it again. It wasn't long after that I was taken to SHU, then held at the police station for the trial. I didn't see her when I returned to Litchfield. I figured you still spoke to her. Please don't be angry, she thought we had broken up completely." Alex explained. Piper swallowed and tried to calm herself.

"What about Suzanne?" Piper asked. She didn't like the idea of her being played. She knew she'd been through so much in her life.

"They weren't a couple, just good friends. I think that changed though before I left. The day I reported the guards to Caputo, I saw them walking on the track and Stacy took her hand. You know Suzanne had a long sentence. She is still inside...she was as healthy as I'd ever seen her. I swear though Piper, that was it ...and we didn't do it in the Chapel. I...couldn't go near that place. We did it in the storage closet." Alex finally stopped talking and Piper just processed.

"So you got her toaster oven...I haven't had a lesbian virgin in years. After you...before, a year after, I had a one night stand with a model. She got a bit clingy...I was in California." Piper tried to share to...but that nameless model wasn't a friend. She kissed Alex's forehead then said, "Continue..."

Alex took a deep breath and then spoke more, "At Danbury, the first month I was a zombie. People were afraid of me. Then I set my sights on a girl name Angie Clark, I started talking to her in the showers and then I ate lunch with her..." Alex said in a voice that said to Piper, she pretty much just played her.

"So by dinner you had her?" Piper asked with a sarcastic tone. Alex shrugged.

"It was a one time thing...she enjoyed it but I said no when she asked again. I did that with another girl a few days later, um...Jones was her last name. I pushed off all others for a month. I had a hard time. I had issues with guards, some of them knew that I was there, moved under a protective order. I started in the woodshop finally. I worked with a girl there, named Teaster. She was a fucking bitch. Seemed straight but um, she wasn't. We fucked a few times but it was always on the down low. As the holidays got closer, I almost started doing drugs again. I smoked a joint with a guard and he was going to get me some pills. You know Louann interfered. I was bunking with Becca by then and she helped me. I had a hard night and we ended up kissing. She was straight out in the world but had been with a girl. The girl left and only wrote one letter. It crushed her. But she opened up to me and we were together. She was very clear, I couldn't fuck around. She thought I had three more years...but then I called Roger on Christmas day." Alex swallowed again and Piper closed her blue eyes. She processed her words and was torn. She was glad Alex didn't fall in to drugs again. She was thankful that someone was there to hold her together. However, the idea of her holding another woman like this made her insane.

"Go on.." Piper said softly. She pulled her head back and looked at Alex. She looked up at her and searched Piper's eyes for the rejection she felt sure she'd get. Piper hoped she saw the love she felt.

"Well, he said you weren't happy. He asked me if I loved you still and I got quiet. I told him not to speak about you...or I'd never talk to him again. He agreed but told me you were unhappy. I..was floored. It was all I could think about. I missed Litchfield. I missed Red and the family we created there. I missed people that knew me when I was with you...not broken by what I thought was your lies. I was withdrawn and Becca thought it was just the holiday. I called my Aunt after Christmas and she told me you called her looking for me. She was angry I didn't send her word but I asked her not to speak to you if you called again. She told me you hadn't spoken to her in months and had obviously decided to move on with your life. The Dyke crew she spoke about is the group of friends that stick together. Becca is like the second in their ranks but she isn't really a Dyke."

Piper growled some in her throat. "Yeah if you moving to another state, writing continually and drinking alone counts for moving on. I did however, take Steve to a Christmas party. I saw Roger there. It upset me. I was pissed at him too because I felt he was talking to you and not telling me. He saw me with Steve and wasn't fooled. Larry was there and he showed his ass. Anyway, we went back to my place and Steve slept in his own bed. I stopped us. Maybe, if Roger hadn't been there or Larry hadn't made a comment, I would have gone through with it. But you were on my mind so much and I knew it wasn't fair to him." Piper shrugged some. She was happy Alex explained about the Dyke crew comment.

"Do you know how happy it makes me to know you haven't had anyone inside of you but me in a long time?" Alex asked her. She moved her fingers and dropped her wrist to push them deeper inside of Piper. Piper gasped and moved her hips in circles.

Piper bit her lip and smiled, "How happy does it make you Alex? I knew you were with people. I would rationalize that I couldn't make it through one year without sex. But I also knew...had I not found you again in prison...I wouldn't have cheated on Larry." Alex nodded as she spoke and moved her hips so she pressed her fingers deeper in to Piper. Piper gasped and decided to return the favor. They both slowly used their fingers on one another until they gasped out their pleasure.

They looked at each other for a long time and Piper brought her fingers up and licked them. She then nuzzled into Alex's shoulder. She was happy in her warmth. "Is that all? Nothing happened at the boot camp or when you were home on arrest?"

"No...nothing happened...that I consented to..." Alex whispered. Piper felt her body stiffen and she closed her eyes. She really felt more had happened to Alex than just an attack that she fought off. She wasn't sure how to stay that and she didn't want Alex to think about it now. She had her first therapy session tomorrow and that was something she needed to work out with Dr. Speer.

"That is not your fault. Are you nervous about Therapy tomorrow? " Piper asked as she pushed Alex to turn around. She missed her fingers as they left her warmth but she wanted to spoon Alex. She slid up to her back and wrapped her arms around her.

"Yes. I will see if I can do it with her or I'll get a referrel. It may be weird we share a shrink." Alex admitted. Piper just nodded and kissed the back of Alex's neck. They talked quietly for awhile longer and fell to sleep in that position.

The next morning, they woke up with both of them in the bed. Alex had a sleepy grin. Piper rolled over and picked up her iPhone from the bedside. She texted work. Alex snorted and complained about her working. She turned back around.

"I was just texting I wouldn't be in to the office today. I want to spend the morning with you then maybe walk with you Dr. Speer's office," Piper said. Alex looked at her and grinned that grin that makes her whole face light up.

"It isn't the first day of school...I can make it on my own _Mom," _ she teased her.

Piper brought her thigh up between her legs. "I need to get busy erasing every other lover you've ever had from your memory. Besides, I can work downstairs in the store and wait on you to get back. Your appointment isn't until 2PM yes?" As she spoke she moved her thigh just so that Alex was now grinding her hips. Piper had a sly smile on her face as her woman started to react to her ministrations.

"Oh...well_...okay._..since you put it that..or..there..." Alex moaned out. Piper kept moving her hip and started to massage Alex's full breasts. She pulled each nipple and Alex's eyes shot open. She lowered her head to kiss her deeply as her lover's hips started frantically working back and forth on Piper's thigh. She could feel her wetness as she moved down her own thigh. Alex groaned and shivered coming hard on Pipers thigh. She held her close as she shivered all over. It was amazing.

"Oh fuck baby, I can watch you come all day. Lets fuck until we can't walk..."Piper suggested. Alex laughed as she was trying to catch her breath.

"I have to open the store. Taystee is meeting with her parole officer today. She gets out of the house after Thanksgiving. Nicky called her this morning to tell her we had a job for her when she got out. We'll talk over more together, later today. I do however, have time to take a shower with you...proper shower. Afterall, I made a mess on your thigh...it is the least I could do...clean it up..." Alex said as she kissed her neck, a kiss for each word. Piper giggled as it tickled some and rolled out of bed. Alex was up and chased her in to the shower, pinching her ass cheeks. They were laughing outright. Once in the shower, Alex washed Piper's body, then down she went, her mouth right where Piper loves. She grabbed on to the side of the shower and moaned. She looked up to the skylight and felt the pleasure wash over her like the steaming water.

"Oohh fuck babe, yes right there...oh baby...oh Alex...oh fuck yes! Alex, I ...oh fuck ...I love your mouth...I love you!" Piper started saying, "I'm coming, I'm coming..." loud in the bathroom. She shivered and shuddered her release. As always, Alex lapped up her sex then stood to hold Piper up as her legs went weak.

"I love you too. I especially love how you come." Alex said in her thick sexy voice. Piper kissed her and lapped at her mouth, darting her tongue in to taste herself. She growled playfully and bit Alex's lip. Alex washed her off again softly and they got out. She was so attentive, Piper just let Alex dry her off. They got dressed and went into the kitchen. Piper made the banana and peanut butter dish they love.

"I'm going to spend some time in your kitchen as well. I know you just put things up in the cabinets right before we got together. Maybe tonight we can cook that chicken we used to make. Italian baked chicken...a nice salad? I'll stop by the store on the way back today. I'll take a cab and not go to one of Ronald's stores." Piper suggested before Alex could say anything. She just smiled and ate her breakfast. Piper made her some coffee but it wasn't as good as what she makes. Alex made a phone call before going downstairs. Piper could hear her speaking to someone about buying in to the magazine. She told them to switch money over and to purchase it. She made herself rather clear. Piper looked up and smiled at her as she cleaned up their breakfast.

"I'm going down to open up. I'll see you down there soon, " Alex said as she kissed her on the lips. Piper was struck suddenly by how domestic they were. She clutched at Alex's hand.

"After the new year, let's get out of the country, just grab our passports and take off. I'll quit work if I have to...just where ever we decide to go at the airport," Piper said. When they first got together, after Alex finished the work she'd do for a trip to Indonesia, they'd have a few weeks to just go...so they'd go someplace at the airport. That is how they ended up on Vancouver Island that time.

Alex grinned. "Sounds like a date, Pipes...or I may kidnap you before the holidays. Who knows?" Alex laughed as she saw Piper jump up and down excitedly. She got dressed, nothing too fancy, just one of Alex's tee shirts and a pair of jeans. She looked through her drawers and saw how little clothing Alex actually had. She thought maybe more was upstairs. She made a note to speak to her about shopping. She could totally see Alex not taking the time to do that with opening new businesses and setting up her home. Piper had to grin when she realized Alex had shopped online for lingerie. Yes her woman had her priorities straight!

"The only straight thing about her, " Piper said to herself. She made three or four phone calls. Raven agreed to meet her at the store around three PM. She was going to speak to her about managing the store. She then tackled her emails. She had a ton, including one from Stacy. She had told her that she and Alex were back together. Stacy responded that she was happy for them and asked for details. Piper didn't respond right away. She was working through her feelings about that. She knew it didn't really mean much to Alex, but she wasn't sure how she felt about Stacy keeping it from her. She knew from her emails that she had hooked up with Suzanne. Stacy had been very worried when she got out about Suzanne's mental health. Piper kept up with Red and she would write her about how she was doing. Piper put it aside. She wrote a long letter to Red and told her about Toronto. She told her about how they are now and asked that she share it with Boo, Gina and Suzanne. She told her that she finally felt like she is with the person she was born to love. She knew Red didn't believe in homosexuality but she understood love. She understood and never judged.

Piper then worked on two presentations and was surprised when Alex came upstairs to fix lunch. She made them both a salad. She was quiet as she ate and Piper felt maybe she was nervous.

"Want to snuggle before I get changed for my session?" Alex asked. Piper closed her laptop and hopped up to take her salad plate to the sink. They held each other for awhile. Alex didn't speak much just held her close. Piper talked about her emails and letter to Red. She mentioned how happy she was about her dad and that she was thinking maybe they could talk to Cal next. Alex listened and kissed her when Piper took a breath. She kissed her back and they stayed together until Alex pulled herself up and changed. Piper called a cab, got some cloth bags and they walked down the stairs hand in hand. She saw Taystee and gave her a hug. She told her she'd be back to work some downstairs. Piper let her know she wanted to know about her meeting.

"Aww, now, no worries...you two enjoy your day. I'll speak wit you later," Taystee said. Piper noted Louann was quiet as they walked out. She wondered if Alex shared the news. She looked over and Alex held up her ring finger to Taystee. Her eyes got big and Piper laughed as they darted out of the store. Taystee's eyes were huge and Piper couldn't wait to tell her the news. She hoped Taystee's enthusiasm helped Louann see how futile her crush was on her woman. They were quiet as they rode there and Piper had the taxi wait. She walked hand and hand with Alex up to the office door.

"There is a great coffee house a block down. When you're finished, if you want to walk down there it is nice. I'll see you back at the store. I love you Alex Vause. I hope you like Dr. Speer," Piper said. She kissed Alex and then turned walking out. She didn't look back but heard Alex tell her she loved her. Piper was very nervous as she shopped for the items for their dinner. When Piper got back she went up the back way and put all the items up in the refridgerator. She took time then to explore the cabinets. Alex had gourmet everything but none of it had been used. She wondered where she ordered it all. She got out what she needed and felt confident she could make the dinner.

She came downstairs and set up in her favorite nook. She could smell the coffee but had a good street view. She looked over at Taystee as she worked. There was a vendor there arguing with her.

"Look, I don't care what you say. The owner told me this display would have prominence in this store. That means up front just like the big publishers. This is too far to the side. Now move this other display and let me put the books here," he said as she motioned for the young adult display to be moved. Piper knew that author was on the best sellers list. She looked at the books that he was trying to set up and nothing popped in her mind.

"No matter what the owner told you, she specifically showed me where you were to set this up today. Look, I'm floor manager right now and trust me when I say that display isn't moving from that spot for this entire week. I've had three customers ask me about that book just this morning..." Taystee reasoned.

"Look, I told you already what she said. Is there someone better...or you know that I can speak to about this? You really don't seem to grasp what I am saying," he began in a tone that set Piper's teeth on edge. She had wanted to just talk with Taystee about the engagement...be a giggling girl for awhile. But if that fucker kept speaking to her in that tone, he was about to get the Pipebomb going off in his face. Piper noticed that Louann was drying her hands and watching Taystee as well.

"Excuse me? Listen to me, I know this store and up one side and down the other. I was here from the opening and I know what I'm doing. She was very specific about where this display is going," Taystee replied. Her voice was showing that edge that meant she was about to show him how much she knew. Piper rose and walked over behind her.

"Taystee, do you need anything?" Piper asked. He looked up at her and then back down. She saw right away that he was just prejudiced.

"Nah, Chapman, this mister was just about to set his books up where Alex told him to do it," she said. He snorted and started to move the young adult books.

"I know what I was told and I'm not taking anything else. This isn't even a big chain store..." he spoke as he started to take down the other display. Piper saw red. She jerked the book out of his hands and then started to stack up his books back on the cart.

"Get your hands off of those books. This woman has spoken to you in an even tone. Now I'm going to say it in a way you can understand. Put your fuckin' books where she said or get them out," Piper dropped the box with a thud. Taystee moved to stand between them.

"Calm down now, Chapman. We don't need Ghosty going all Pensatucky on him," she said with a grin, "I got this, I'm sure he can see the benefit of doing as he is told." Taystee explained.

"Who the fuck are you? Are you another owner?" He asked bruskly.

"Worse, I'm a best selling author, fiancé of one owner, friend of the other ...oh and this woman is my good friend as well. She knows more about books and this store than anyone! So unless you want to see what I do when I'm angry, set your books up here. Because trust me, if I toss your ass out of here, you or any books you are trying to distribute will never set foot in here again," Piper growled out. He looked at her for a moment. He seemed to pale when he looked in to her eyes. He then turned to start setting the books up where Taystee indicated. Her former bunkie moved Piper over to sit back at her table.

"I gots this shawty, sit. Damn Pipes...fiancé and since she is wearing the ring that means you asked. I can't wait to hear, let me go try and help him. No..stay there, he won't make a fuss. Damn girl, good thing you off probation," Taystee murmured. Piper watched him closely to make sure he didn't speak to her again like that. Soon, she would be store manager and she can kick fuckers like that out herself. Piper just started to work when she saw a latte appear before her.

"Caramel, with all the fixings," Louann said. Piper was stunned as she looked up. Louann looked over to where Taystee was helping the man and then shrugged. Piper smiled and thanked her. Raven came in with Alex. They were both talking and laughing. Piper's face lit up and Alex walked over to kiss her on the lips.

"How did it go?" she asked quietly. She wanted to know if Alex was going to keep Dr. Speer.

"It was great. She seems really nice and we talked about you. She would like to counsel me then us together like we talked about. I think it is a good idea. Do you?" Alex asked as she crouched down by her chair.

Piper could tell that Alex would talk more about it later. "Great idea...I like it and I'm very happy you like her. This is going to work. Um that vendor is a jerk and I got into his face but Taystee was perfect. Speaking of which...should we wait on Nicky to speak.." as Piper asked this, Nicky walked in eating a bagel. She yelled out to Taystee, like they had just seen each other in the showers. It was so great Piper laughed. Alex pulled up a chair and sipped some of Piper's latte.

"Taystee, let him do that, come on over here, we want to talk with you," she said. Piper wished she'd had time to ask Raven first. Raven asked if she should just look around but Piper pulled up a chair and patted it for her. Raven put the folders and notebook down. She told Piper that Chaucer was fine but missing her. She felt bad about being away from him.

"Okay, Taystee, your meeting went well today and we wanted to offer you that job," Nicky began. She looked over to Alex who took it from there.

"Yes, we hope you told him you had a job with us. What we want to explain and ask you is if you'd like to be the store manager of this Book 'Em store? We were hoping that maybe Raven would take it as an interim and work with you while you learn. Lorna has some class information for you." Alex continued..she looked over to Piper who had to smile at their style of asking.

"Yeah, Taystee, the Women's Prison Association, will help you get whatever prequisties you may need to take the business classes and get a place you can afford. Raven, I know you were worried about working with me once the tour is complete this week. I'd like you to remain my assistant but this way you can have a steady income while you are finishing your degree. You two can learn together and once Taystee is free of her restrictions, you can taper back on the responsiblity." Piper explained. Both women just looked at each other then at the other women at the table.

Taystee shot her hand out, " I'm Taystee by the way, I'm a prison buddy to these three. We talk fast and forget sometimes to fill in the blanks for other people," she said to Raven. Raven shook her hand.

"Oh good, I thought it was just Piper that did it. Alright, well I'm game if you are Taystee. I bet it would be great to manage this store. Thank you Piper, I was truly worried about what I was going to do for work. I have another year to go and you let me set the schedule I want. If Taystee is working too, just learning it will be like a co-manager and not too much pressure on either of us," Raven offered. Piper smiled happily. She could always depend on Raven to see her point and run with it.

Taystee seemed to consider it. "What about when Poussey gets free? I mean I want to you know, maybe be near..."she began.

Nicky interrupted, "She can work here or at the Brooklyn store. We'll take care of our own," Nicky promised. Taystee looked around the table at the four white women and busted out laughing. Piper had to laugh as well. How different it was now!

"Okay, I'll do it. I take the job!" Taystee responded. They all clapped and hugged each other. Alex got up to speak to the vendor and Nicky zipped up to the desk to check the receipts for deposit. Soon it was just Raven and Piper working at the table. She finished up her work and told Raven she'd be staying there again that night.

"Do you need some more clothes?" Raven asked. Piper said she did and she wrote out a note. Raven seemed so much more relaxed now that she had a plan in place for the future. Piper carried all of her stuff up the stairs. Nicky laughed at her but did get up to open the door. Piper told her about Becca and the letter. Nicky said she knew about her.

"Alex told me she tried to get over you with another woman. I didn't know about the letter though. Is she going to offer her a job?" Piper told her they were going to offer the Brooklyn store. Nicky was proud she didn't go off and beat the shit out of Alex. Piper laughed with her until she had to go downstairs. Piper started dinner and Alex came upstairs right before it was done. They ate so much but she had leftovers. She put it in containers and said maybe she'd take some downstairs for Taystee and Louann the next day. She could tell Alex was happy they were getting along.

"Oh now that I have you all stuffed..I have something to ask you, "Piper said.

"You already asked the big question Piper, I said yes!" she replied. Piper rolled her eyes at her and then sat beside her on the sofa. She put her legs over Alex and leaned against the back of the sofa.

"No, I want to ask you if I could bring Chaucer with me when I'm going to stay more than one night. He hates his carrier but seems to thrive anywhere. We can put his box in the laundry room open space. He is a clean kitty." Piper clarified.

Alex looked at her and then laughed, "Yes, you know I already love the kitty. He is one of the best things about your place. Wherever you go, he shall go as well. Maybe I can make him a cat tower to go by the window in the bedroom?" Alex suggested. Piper sensed she wanted something else to make. She was thrilled and hugged Alex.

"Great idea! I am going to clean upstairs while you work. You have to have more clothes somewhere," Piper said. Alex laughed and told her there were clothes in the dressers upstairs. They walked out and upstairs. It was nice not to walk up there in the snow. Piper loved it up there and if she was honest, she liked picking up Alex's mess. She used to keep their apartment clean as Alex worked. She would make messes around her laptop, from drinking espresso or eating a quick snack. Folded some of her clothing and put it in a basket to take downstairs. Once she was finished, she sat in a big, plush chair and watched her woman work the wood. Piper was truly happy and she felt blessed to her very core.

**I hope you guys are having a great Sunday. I'm enjoying Mabon, cooking, watching Football and writing for you. Piper Kerman tweeted " So (grateful) to readers for making (OITNB) a number one NYTimes Best seller today! Thank you, thank you, thank you" I say, you're welcome but that book changed my perspective, so I feel I should thank her. Please if you haven't read the book, do so. It isn't the TV show. It is an honest account of a strong woman's life and mistakes. I promise everyone I will let you know when the last chapter is coming. No worries...as I've already started thinking up the other stories to follow! Please review! Fae***


	89. Chapter 89 A Little Rain Must Fall

Into Every Life, A little Rain Will Fall...

Piper woke up alone. She reached for Alex and found a letter folded on her pillow. She pulled her pillow to her chest and held it close as she read.

_My dearest Piper, _

_I wanted to explain to you what it means to me to see you sleeping in my bed again. I don't know if I can find the right words. As much as I read, sometimes finding a word that goes with my emotion is very difficult. This especially applies to you. I would find a poem when you were getting out because when I tried to write my feelings I would freeze. _

_Now though I read your journal entries. I have them up in the workshop and I am heading up there soon to work on Chaucer's tree. I like to read them because...I think inside sometimes I still feel like that bullied little girl. I put up a brave front but it amazes me how much you love me. _

_You know there are still some things I haven't told you. Some of them are about what happened to me at the Boot Camp. I truly feel I need help from Dr. Speer before I share that information. I think maybe I am afraid it will change the way you see me and that scares me more than the memories that wake me in the night. Just know, no matter what happened then, I'll fight tooth and nail to keep it from hurting you now. Early this morning, I woke in a cold sweat with terror making my pulse pound. I didn't thrash about and my first coherent thought was how grateful I am that you are still sleeping safely beside me._

_Some of them are things I have let get away from me. I promise to work more towards complete honesty between us. It isn't easy for me because I am really scared that things will change between us to the point where you will walk away. I know you are afraid of that too. I know that because I saw the fear in your eyes when you read that letter from Becca. I've left my reply letter to Becca on the dresser. She gets out December 27th. Let me know what you think about it. I can rewrite it if it sounds contrite or mean. _

_The light is coming through the window and dancing on your face. You are relaxed and looked like you did that first night you stayed overnight with me. You were so young and open. I remember thinking at that time you were different. I remember thinking that I had to work hard to keep you because we could have a blast. I was right. We had a blast and I know we will have that again. I'm trying to heal, babe. You've grown so much and have become an amazing woman. I know you are working on your insecurities and jealousy. I know you are working to give back because of our past. _

_I'm happy to work with you. _

_I'm either still upstairs or making you breakfast. I told you I'd write you more letters..._

_I heart you-_

_A_

Piper read it again and then rolled over holding it to her chest. She eventually got up and read Becca's letter. Alex was polite and thanked her for understanding. She explained right off the bat that she had found Piper again and they were together. She told her that she was engaged and was trying to build her life with Piper. She said she would have a job for Becca in the Brooklyn store. She told her that she would work under Lorna and it would help with her probation. Alex gave her the name of three good Narcotic Anonymous groups in the area around the halfway house. Piper recognized two of them from the WPA list of therapy groups. She folded the letter and put it back on the dresser. She was overwhelmed by how much Alex was trying to make her feel alright. Piper knew she had an issue with jealousy when it came to Alex. She told herself it is just worse now because they'd spent time forced apart. Piper put the letter in her briefcase and made a note to get a special binder for her love notes.

She took a shower and then went into the kitchen drying her hair. She saw her woman standing in some adorable coveralls. Alex had on a white Tee under them and the sleeves were rolled up in a way that made Piper remember her prison uniform. Alex was drinking water from a glass, her head going back as she drained it. Piper licked her lips at the sight. She had sawdust on the bottom of her coveralls and Piper could see a small trail of it from the laundry room.

"So I should restock the studio apartment fridge with bottled water? " Piper said. Alex turned and smiled at her as she put her glass in the sink. She exhaled and walked over to her. She smelled like cut wood and sweat. Piper's nostrils flared and her body immediately tuned in to her lover. She reached up and put her arms around her neck. "Thank you for my letter. I loved it...I love how you share with me. I'll be patient." Alex raised her eyebrow at her. Piper laughed. "Okay, I'll work on it. I read the letter to Becca. It was kind and appropriate, Alex."

Alex kissed her then...a long warm kiss. Piper wanted to wrap her legs around her and demand she carry her to bed. Alex pulled away and held Piper's face in her hands. So does it fiancé inspection?" Alex teased. Piper smiled. She loved being called her fiancé.

"Yes it does," Piper pulled her back down and kissed her soundly again. Alex told her that Roger emailed and he'd be back from business abroad soon. They made some plans and that made Piper happy. She kissed up Alex's neck and whispered how sexy she looked in those work clothes. Piper ran her hands up Alex's arms. She moaned and kissed up her chin to her lips. That is when they heard a knock on the door. Piper reluctantly pulled away and Alex sighed with a frustration Piper recognized.

"You get that, please...after all this is your home too. I'm going to take a shower...a cold one. Check the eyehole first..." Alex warned. Piper smiled and nodded. She knew that Alex was a stickler for security and didn't want Piper opening the door without looking. Piper peeped and didn't see anyone. She opened it anyway after punching in the code.

Immediately she saw him. There on the landing before the door was Chaucer. He was sitting and swishing his tail. She meowed up and she bent down to scoop up her kitty.

"Hey how did you get here?" Piper asked as she nuzzled in his furry neck. It was then that Raven came up the last few steps in to view.

"I couldn't resist you or Alex opening the door to him. He sat perfectly waiting on his mom to open up. I got the new box and supplies you texted me to get." Raven said as Piper invited her inside. Raven stopped looking over the apartment with her mouth hanging open a bit. "Damn this is nice, I love the hardwoods."

Piper beamed with pride and pointed out the parts that Alex made herself. She was showing the laundry room door to Raven when Alex came out, drying her hair with a towel. She was dressed in one of Piper's Smith College Tee Shirts and a pair of grey warm up pants.

"Hello there, Raven...Oh..you brought Chaucer. I take it we aren't going back to your place tonight?" Alex asked as she kissed Piper's neck and brought her arms up to pet Chaucer.

"No, I have a book signing near here in the morning. I figured he could learn the new place and I missed him," Piper admitted. Alex kissed her neck. She smiled and then pointed Raven to the corner in the laundry room. "Let's put his box there and show him the location," Piper pulled away from Alex and handed the cat to her.

"You have a radio phone interview for that political news show on FM 93 in about 45 minutes," Raven reminded her. Piper nodded. She had hoped to do that interview completely satiated by Alex's talented tongue...she had forgot Raven was coming. She looked over to Alex and she could tell that Alex knew. She grinned.

"I'm going down to check on Taystee. We have to pull five displays. Once her radio interview starts Raven, please come down. We can discuss the pay scale and start showing you the ropes." Alex said after she hugged Piper goodbye. Chaucer took to his box and then went off to explore the new digs. Piper went over the information for the radio show. She usually prepares a bit more for these things but she was getting used to her answers. She gave Raven four faxes to send off and they spent a few moments figuring out Alex's fax machine together. Piper fixed them both a bowl of cereal for breakfast. She wondered if her woman had forgotten to eat. She made a quick egg sandwich and asked Raven to take it down to Alex. As she was scrambling the egg, her brother called.

"Hey I thought I'd hear from you after talking to Dad. You okay?" he asked Piper. She frowned and wrapped up the sandwich.

"Yeah, did you think Dad was going to hit the roof or something? He was tough on her but he gave in like I knew he would. He knows how much I love her," Piper said. She motioned Raven out the door.

"No, that wasn't...Piper what did you talk about with Dad? Did he share some news with you?" Cal asked in a way that let Piper know that something was up.

She sat on the couch and pulled her notes close. She pulled up her feet and clutched her legs. "He was going to talk to me about something but said it could wait. I guess Alex threw him off his game when..." Piper explained

Cal interrupted, "What did the drug dealer have to do with it? Was she there? Geez, Piper couldn't you take time to be alone with your old dad?" Piper got pissed immediately. She started to tell him to fuck off when she remembered she was really trying to work on her temper.

"Yes Cal, she was there. She will be there every single time. She asked him for my hand in marriage," Piper exclaimed. Cal was silent a moment.

"Fuck Piper, she asked him at dinner and he gave his consent?" Cal asked. Piper told him about the conversation.

"I didn't expect to get shit from you Cal. I've always supported your relationship choices," Piper shot back. She couldn't understand Cal's problem.

"It isnt' that Piper, get your head out of Alex's ass. I guess Pop didn't want to ruin your happy news." Cal responded. Piper felt her stomach drop.

"How would he ruin it? What is going on Cal?" Piper asked with new urgency in her voice.

Cal was quiet for a moment. "He wanted to tell you himself but he is talking to mom tonight and that will be that." Cal began. Piper was really worried. Her parents did not live together but to her knowledge they were still married. Her father and mother were pretty much a divorced couple. They came together for holidays once a year but she knew it had to be bad if her Dad was telling her mom.

"Spit it out Cal," She prompted.

She heard him take a deep breath and then he said, "Dad has been diagnosed with stage three prostate cancer. He is going to need to stay at your place after the surgery while he travels to the medical center for chemo and radiation. He was going to ask you if he could stay there." Piper was stunned. She couldn't believe the words.

"Oh God Cal, why didn't he...oh fuck...Daddy.." Piper started to cry. Cal tried to comfort her.

"He didn't want to ruin your happiness. He probably thought he'd tell you with Mom later. But we need to talk about what we're going to do Pipes. Neri wants to help so we can take turns staying with you. Are you done with your tour?" Cal said. She could tell his mind was racing like hers. Usually he is the calm one but he was trying to get her focused and calm down. Piper just wanted Alex.

"No, I'm done tomorrow. Oh Cal, Thanksgiving is next week. When is his surgery?" Piper asked through her tears. He told her that his surgery was the Monday after the holiday. He said their father insisted on the date. He told her his prostate would be removed completely and they want to aggressively attack the area after her has recouped. He told her that their Dad drove up to look at the progress on the house and told him as they shared a beer.

"I'll do whatever we need to do. Neri can stay with him during the day if I have to go in to the office," Piper said. She wanted Alex. Piper looked at the door and sobbed some more. She was scared of losing her father. The fear cut to her very heart.

"Is your...fiancé around? Are you at work?" Cal finally thought to ask. Piper knew he just didn't want to be the only one with the news anymore.

"I am supposed to do a phone interview in...fuck, ten minutes. I'm at Alex's apartment and she is down at work," Piper explained. Chaucer jumped in to her lap and Piper was instantly comforted. She pulled him up close and nuzzled in to his fur. She felt her tears fall and to his credit, he stayed in her lap, purring all the while.

"Well, go get your girl. I'm sorry I was rough...I'm upset too," Cal admitted. Piper took a deep breath and leaned back against couch. Her little brother was scared as well.

"We'll be okay, little brother. We can do this and we'll all be there for him. Mom isn't going to take it well. You know she still thinks they'll grow in to their old age together. She never really got that he just couldn't stomach being with her anymore. Though, to her credit, she has gotten better in the past few years," Piper said.

"Well, your golden girl in prison and writing a book about it does make one eat some humble pie. They are proud of you though Piper. I am too. Look, I gotta go they are delivering some concrete. Let's do Thanksgiving in the City this year as a family," he responded.

"I love you Cal," Piper said after she agreed to the holiday.

"Love you too Shawshank," Cal said before he hung up. Piper closed her eyes and rubbed her eyes. She had to pull herself together. She couldn't give in to the fear. She tried to make herself get tough. She reminded herself of all she had to survive and all that Alex survived. Her phone rang and it was the producer. She sat up and wiped her eyes again. She put on her professional voice and was told about the other guests. It was a political program discussing the sentencing law debate. She would have an intro and a 4 minute segment to herself before others joined in the conversation.

She cleared her throat more than once and tried to sound like she wasn't just sobbing. He host asked if she was sick and she said she was a bit stuffy. She continued on changing the subject. She started the part of the show where they all speak and was a bit abrupt with a particularly dense District Attorney. She pretty much accused him of running up convictions for his rate and questioned his true ability to sentence people. He asked if she felt her time served was well deserved. She said she committed the crime but no one deserved to be jailed for non-violent offenses. She tore in to him with all the alternative sentences that were available but district attorneys want stats on their records that make them seem "tough on crime".

Alex came in the room as she was talking and Piper didn't look up from her notes. She had written " Daddy, Daddy, Daddy" over and over on the paper. The host made a funny comment to break the tension and Piper tried to relax her shoulders. The panel was finally finished and she was able to sign off the show. She hung up her phone and turned to Alex. She was sitting in the armchair looking at Piper and holding Chaucer.

"What's wrong? I knew something was wrong when I heard your voice. Raven made me wait to see if you got better. Was it Cal? She said he called. Did he go off about our marriage? Do you want me to talk about it with him?" Alex asked. Piper could tell that Alex was worried and that touched her. Silent tears started falling down her face. Alex set Chaucer down carefully and stood walking to her. She pulled Piper in to her arms. "What is it, babe?" Alex asked.

"My Dad has cancer Alex. I'm scared," Piper said before she started to sob. Alex held her close and sat on the sofa holding her woman close and rocking her.

"Oh Pipes, I'm here. We'll get through this...I'm so sorry, my love," Alex pulled her in to her lap and just let Piper cry.

***Thank you for your great reviews. I love all of them! Life has a way of kicking you in the arse. Please review if you would like more this week. Peace, Fae***


	90. Chapter 90 Mush Ball

Alex held Piper close for about an hour. She shared all that Cal had said and then she just stared out the window from the safety of her arms. Alex tried to cover Piper with a couch blanket but she sat up. Piper pulled herself away from her and wiped her eyes. She squeezed her hand and went to the washroom to wash her face. She had to talk to her father. She didn't know how long he was going to be at her Mom's place. They weren't in the city so she couldn't see him. She wished she'd known about it sooner. She had stressed and fussed with Alex over an old girlfriend. Now she just wished he'd trusted her enough to tell her. Perhaps her time in prison had changed her place in her family dynamic.

She didn't know how to take that notion. She didn't want to give in to the fear that this would be what would take her father from her. He had always been the parent that was there for her. He didn't always disapprove. He was perhaps lost in his books more than he took interest in her daily life...but he listened when she needed him.

Piper came out and saw Alex had fixed her a hot cup of tea. She smiled at her some as Alex handed it to her. " Thank you baby. I was wondering...would you mind if I called Polly?" Piper's voice quivered some as she asked.

"I just did. She is dropping Finn off at the sitter and will be here in about forty-five minutes. Until then, I'm supposed to be a big comfy hugging ball of girlfriend. Her words, "Alex said with a droll tone that made Piper smile some more.

"He is a strong man and they have a plan of action. I'm here for whatever you and your family may need," Alex offered. Piper thought to herself...yes she is here but when her family needed me, I bolted. I ran from her when she was left with real grief; not the fear of possible grief to come. She put her tea down by the couch and stepped into Alex's arms. They swayed as if dancing and she closed her eyes allowing the warmth of this woman she loved to wash over her like a balm.

"You should go on down and help Raven. I know you want to get her set up to manage through the holiday. Aren't you opening the new store after Thanksgiving?" Piper asked to distract herself.

"Um yeah a soft opening on Black Friday to take advantage of the day...then open full force December 1st. Lorna is handling most of that though. Once I get Raven and Taystee up to speed, I become a district manager and handle the finances with Nicky," Alex said. Piper had glanced at some of their paperwork. It was a solid business plan. They had good people working for them and managing their funds. Each store had a cushion of five years to make a market in their neighborhood. She had no doubt they'd succeed.

"Go ahead, I need to finish up some paperwork and Tweets about that interview. I was a bit brutal with the DA so I bet I have fan tweets," Piper guessed. Alex just stood there watching her. She perked her eyebrow at her asking her what the issue could be.

"No. I'm not leaving you until you have Polly here...I am sure Raven will handle it all. I have a feeling she'll be updating our file system and overhauling how we do business by the end of the week. Geez, that girl is smart. " Alex made a whistling sound as she spoke. She purposely reached down and picked up Chaucer in one arm and handed Piper her tea with the other. She plopped down on her own comfy sofa and looked up. Piper recalled an image of Alex sleeping, sprawled out on a hammock. She recalled a time when no one in her family knew about Alex. She was her little dirty secret. Now, everyone knew and she had just told them to deal with it. She finally had everyone she loved involved in her life...and...Piper had to stop thinking.

She put her tea down and walked over to her briefcase and pulled out her laptop. "Suit yourself then but I'll be fine. I just want to make sure Polly and I are on the same page about how we can help with Dad. Cal offered Neri but she is pregnant and she won't ...well no I really won't allow her to do much." Piper knew she was rambling from one thing to the next but she just felt better, more like herself to be planning.

"It isn't just you and Polly now Pipes. I'm here too. He can do it. We can help him and I'm here for you. Plan away, you always do best when making a plan," Alex observed. Piper remembered Dr. Speer telling her pretty much the same thing. She looked at Alex with love, then dove in to her work.

She was hunched over and completely drawn in by a press release that wasn't due for a few weeks when Polly walked up and shut her laptop. Piper started to protest but Polly just shook her head and took Piper by the hand. Piper saw Alex was making some coffee and had given them some space. She wondered if she had let Polly in or was downstairs when Polly arrived.

"Well, I got here as fast as I could. I called Cal on the way and he told me your Dad finished his conversation with your mom. He said they are together and will be in the city on Saturday. He said he'd call you for a time to have lunch. So everyone knows and you will all get together in a couple of days and talk," Polly clarified. Piper immediately felt better. She should have known that in a brief amount of time Polly could bully information out and cut through family patterns of communication and get to the point. Well, she had always been a part of her family. They all loved Polly.

" Thanks, I was thinking about calling him but I didn't know..." Piper swallowed. She didn't know what to say to him. She knew once she had that conversation with him it would be even more real.

"Yeah, it's okay I took care of it. Now, here..." Polly sat her down and pushed her head to her shoulder. She just held both of Piper's hands and waited.

It took fifteen seconds before she started crying and about a minute before she asked, 'Do you think the stress of my sentence caused his cancer?" Polly pulled her close and hugged her as Piper sobbed.

Once she quietened enough to hear her Polly replied, "No, not at all. Cancer happens to lots of people for different reasons. He knew you could handle it and always has faith in you. Have some in your father too." She let Piper talk some more and listen. Alex walked over with their coffee, placed it down then sat in the armchair. She sipped her coffee and listened. She spoke to her for a long while, just spewing her thoughts in a continual stream. Polly kept up with her and batted down the worse of her fears with logic that Piper could understand. Piper finally looked over at Alex and smiled.

Alex smiled back at her with such love on her face that Piper's breath caught in her throat. She felt so blessed. She wasn't alone.

"I love you both. I don't know if I tell you enough Polly. I love you and am blessed you're my friend," Piper blurted out.

Polly looked at her and said, " Remember that when I tell you what happened to those ear rings I borrowed in July." She smiled as she said it and Piper squinted her eyes. She said they were fine and she just kept forgetting to bring them over.

"It is amazing to see the two of you. I mean I'm close enough to Roger but you two share a brain sometimes. I think I know you then I see Polly with you and I realize yet again how much of our life we've spent apart. That will not happen again." Alex reassured. Piper walked over and slid into her lap. She curled up and buried her head under Alex's chin. Piper closed her eyes and whispered how much she love Alex in her ear.

"Don't work yourself to death Pipes. You have one more signing for your tour. So enjoy the good and we'll handle the bad as it comes. Remember, there is always someone worse off than you, you just don't know about it therefore don't care. Perception!" Polly snarked. Piper rolled her eyes and started to get up to show her out.

"Oh no, I'm going to go downstairs and enjoy the store. The sitter will probably bring Finn to meet me here. I'll let you know when he is down there and you can make yourself feel better by buying him a book," Polly suggested. She walked over and covered them both up with the blanket from the couch and bent to kiss her head. She also kissed Alex's head for good measure. "Keep it up girlfriend mush ball," she said to Alex.

Alex just raised her wrist and shot her a bird. Polly laughed and Piper smiled. Polly disappeared downstairs. Alex talked with her about how strong her family was and Piper laughed. She never thought them strong. She had kept much of the bickering and snide remarks from Alex when they were first together. But Alex pointed out that she knew more than Piper thought.

"You said it yourself; you suppressed things from each other. Your parents drank rather than talk. Piper all you do is force yourself to talk. You make yourself be different than them...you handle your relationships the best way you can...but you try to communicate. You work on it each day and you'll do the same for your family. Pipes, your family is closer now. I may not have known them then but I know you are different now." Alex observed. She peered out the window to the East River while Alex held her close. They enjoyed the silence and for a small while she forgot her father's diagnosis.

After a wonderful time with Finn, Piper collapsed on Alex's bed. She refused dinner. Alex tried a few times to get her to eat the take out soup she bought but Piper was insistent. Eventually, Alex gave up and just snuggled with her on the bed. She read out loud to her. It was _Ms Hempel's Chronicles._ Piper had not read it and it was wonderful to get lost in Alex's voice. Eventually, Piper fell off to sleep. She woke in the early morning sobbing. Alex was there. She kissed her face and calmed Piper with soothing touch. Slowly and with the most gentle of care, Alex made love to her. She whispered to her as she did it. Telling her as she did how much she is loved. Slowly she pushed Piper up and up until she fell over in to the ecstasy of Alex's arms. Piper shivered and clung to her.

"Don't leave me Alex, don't leave me ever again," Piper whispered back to her lover. Alex cuddled her close under the warm covers. Piper gazed in to her eyes and reached out to slowly touch her face. This woman that was so inevitable to her had become the most important person in her reality. Piper vowed to fight through whatever issues they may have.

"I'm not going to leave you Piper. I will be your safe place to fall just like you are mine," Alex promised. Piper closed her blue eyes and tried with all of her fear-filled heart to believe. Piper turned to Alex and rolled over on top of her. She pressed her body down and spread out her hands so they were laying in perfect overlap. Alex relaxed and cradled all of her on her body. Piper pressed her forehead to her lover's and then kissed her. Piper then started to grind her hips and press down…she moved her hips in hard against her hips. Such sweet jolts of flesh pressed in just the right place. Alex started to moan and thrust up to meet Piper. She slowed and rolled her hips. Alex shuddered all and Piper felt deep satisfaction. She focused completely on Alex and slowly riding her closer to her edge. Piper felt Alex fight to restrain herself. Piper did not press down or hold her wrists. She just kissed her and rolled her hips. Alex's body started to jerk and her whimpers filled the bedroom with the sweetest sound Piper had ever heard. She wanted to hear that sound only. She rode the molten woman beneath her to an amazing cacophony of mutual release.

~When the morning breaks and wakeful eyes first glimpse dread, let me reach for your hand~

Piper woke and went to her meeting. She took her coffee with her and just took a bite of toast. Alex was trying really hard not to say something. Piper kissed her soundly and left. The meeting with her publisher was not that far from there. She asked Alex to go to Brooklyn and wait for her there. She had the book signing in the early evening. Alex told her she'd see her soon. The meeting went as scheduled and Piper headed home to Alex.

Later that day, Piper did her makeup with a familiar technique. She realized yet again how much her early life with Alex was part of how she sees the world. She can look presentable with decent make up even after a night of partying. Or crying and making love. She had to be at her last signing and a dinner out with her publisher.

"I'd really like it if you'd attend the dinner with me. Maybe we can make a signal…I'll fake a running injury….or set up a fake tweet thing," Piper said. Alex came up behind her and put her arms around her. She kissed the side of her neck.

"I'd be honored. I'll have a car pick you up at the other bookstore. I may go scope out the competition though," Alex drawled as she ran her fingertip down the now healed side of her face. Piper knew she was remembering the last event and the ugly bruise. "How about you say the word , chicken in a sentence or just out loud and l'll take it from there."

"Babbo's is where I chose to end the tour. Had I known the love of my life would open a bookstore, trust me I'd chosen Book 'Em." Piper said with a twinkle in her eye. Alex grinned so that she was struck and felt that warmth in her chest.

"Next one," Alex said. Piper just smirked and applied more makeup. She wasn't really surprised when there was a car waiting below to take her to the store. It was ridiculous she could have walked. Yet she knew this was something Alex had to do so she felt like she was helping. She understood what it felt like to feel helpless to help the one you loved. She can't fix this and they have to deal with that reality.

"I'll be along soon. I have to work some. Lorna is coming over to go over the college thing in more detail with Taystee. I'll close if I have to but I'll be there before you're done signing," Alex promised. Piper nodded and fake kissed her due to her lipstick. She loved that it made her smile big.

"Fucking Flawless. I am the luckiest woman in the world, "Alex stated as Piper nuzzled her neck, but didn't mess up her hair. Piper felt good as they walked downstairs. Eva was waiting downstairs.

"Piper, there is a car here for you. You look amazing. Hello Alex, nice to see you again," Eva said politely. Piper smiled and reached out to put her hand on her shoulder.

"Thank you for taking me and helping me on this tour. I know I'm not always the easiest person to…um handle," Piper said frankly. She paused waiting for Alex to agree .She looked over and saw her biting her finger. The image made her laugh to herself all the way to the store.

***I hope you enjoy. It's a busy weekend and time for me and I apologize. I am afraid the time of daily updates are gone. ;( Thank you for all of your reviews. It is amazing to me to get ones from Germany and Indonesia. Bless this website and the service it provides. Peace, Fae


	91. Chapter 91 Celebrations and Family Units

The signing was amazing. Piper had lots of her regular fans there and some from twitter. There were a lot of the locals there as well. Piper smiled and signed books with her usual flourish. She signed three for Lorna and Nicky who surprised her. Alex arrived as well and she stood in the back of the crowd looking at Piper like she had hung the moon.

Piper didn't identify Lorna and Nicky as her friends from Prison. Though both of them are in the book, Piper changed their names. So they really enjoyed watching people and listening to their discussions. Piper watched Nicky talk to two grad students about the problems of drug addiction and sentencing. Alex walked up behind her and bent down to kiss her softly. There was a ripple of comment through the crowd that got louder when Piper looked up at her with complete and utter love in her eyes.

One outspoken fan asked, "Is this Nora?" Piper heard the murmur throughout the crowd. Alex just looked down at her and perked up her eyebrow. Piper took Alex by the hand and turned her ring to show the crowd.

"This is the love of my life, Alex. She has agreed to be my wife. The rest...I'll never say. As you know, I changed everyone's name in the book to protect their identities. I'll not change that now," Piper replied. This seemed to placate people and she could see that many of them decided that Alex was Nora...some just didn't care. Eva squelched anymore blurted out questions by refocusing them o n the purpose of Piper being there.

Alex stood beside her as Piper finished. They toasted the end of the tour and as the crowd dispersed, they moved towards the waiting car and Piper told Eva she'd meet her there. Once in the car, Alex pulled her close.

"You handle a crowd well. You get that charm that makes me wet. You are confident and a little goofy...it plays off more adorable than ...wow, you are so damn sexy," she laughed and kissed Piper. Piper enjoyed the kiss but pulled back. She felt odd enjoying a kiss from her fiancé considering the news she just received about her dad.

"Hey, he wants you to live your life and be as normal as you can. I don't have to talk to him to know that," Alex said. Piper nodded and put her head on her shoulder. They rode the rest of the way to the restaurant in silence.

They met her editor at the restaurant. Alex charmed everyone at the table. Eva joined in and they teased her about her night out in Toronto. Eventually, Eva prompted the story of Piper asking Alex to marry her. Piper observed Eva and could tell she seemed to be alright with the fact Piper chose another. So Piper told them, like she was telling a tale from her book. She spoke about how stunning Alex was in the moonlight...how she didn't feel the cold on her skin. She wove the tale while looking across at her fiancé.

"That sounds like an amazing night. Which did you prefer...that or me asking you on the beach?" Piper heard the voice behind their table ask. She turned and saw Larry eating with his parents. His mother was leaning over to tell him to stop. Piper squinted her eyes at him and then nodded her hello to his parents.

"Mr. Bloom, Mrs. Bloom, it is nice to see you. To answer your question, Larry, I preferred being the one to ask. I was nervous as hell...I will give you that, you made it seem rather easy," Piper worked hard to keep her tone light. She saw Alex stiffen and Eva put down her napkin as if she was about to stand up and "handle" the situation.

"I was fairly certain you'd say yes...I mean you were about to go to prison and we'd been dating for six years. I knew the two of you were together, I guess I shouldn't be surprised that Pete didn't tell me you were engaged. He doesn't speak to me much anymore, thanks to whatever tale you two told them," Larry said. He managed the first part without any venom...but he sounded very bitter at the end.

"Mr. Bloom, it is nice to meet you. I am Hilda Raincroft, one of Piper's editors. We're celebrating the end of her book tour. I admire the support you gave her during her incarceration. I hope we can all be civil and enjoy our fantastic dinner," Hilda said. Piper turned back around and Alex reached under the table to hold her hand. Piper knew Alex had bit her tongue and remained silent through the entire exchange out of respect for Piper.

"I am always civil. Alex, on the other hand, is a convicted felon and likes to get physical," Larry snarked. Alex clenched her jaw and Piper picked up her wine and turned. She tossed it in his face without even thinking. People at both tables gasped. Larry cursed and wiped his face. His father actually laughed while his mother tried to wipe his face for him.

"Enough. You sent a false announcement to her, you broke her heart and she left Litchfield. She left me thinking that I had chosen you. You owe me Fourteen months...can we get that back? No. No we can't so shut the fuck up Larry and let us enjoy our meal," Piper said with cold calm. Alex squeezed her hand and took a drink of her wine. Piper turned around again and raised her hand for to the waiter to order more wine. A manager came over see if everything was alright.

"She left...you mean the two of you weren't communicating while you were in Connecticut?" Larry asked in a tone that clearly told her that he didn't know. Piper put her napkin down and offered her excuses. She leaned over to Alex and whispered in her ear. She asked her to be patient and let her do it. Alex looked at her with concern but Piper stood up and walked back to grab Larry's hand. She walked him out of the dining area and outside to the patio. She walked over to lean against the, tucked in the corner out of the light and away from the conversation.

"Yes, Larry...that is why I hate your fucking guts. She left me because you played a cruel joke and let her think that in all those months of writing to her that I lied. We couldn't really talk outright because of my probation. We couldn't see each other until the trial and that was limited. You were pissed at me for writing her and you acted like a petty fucker and lashed out. That article hurt us more than I can say. So, please, if you ever loved me, leave us alone...or I swear Larry...I swear I will hurt you. I will go back to jail, but I'll hurt you," Piper said through clenched teeth. Larry took a step back and found himself pressed against the wall of the restaurant. His fear made her feel good. She then felt bad about it and realized she was a bit out of touch with her own feelings.

"Look, I didn't know she'd leave, fuck it Piper she was in Prison. I figured worse case you two wouldn't speak for a few weeks until you could get one of your mutual friends to make a case. Yes, I wanted to hurt you both for lying to me. I didn't realize it would break you apar.." Larry tried to explain.

Piper slapped him. The sound rang out and some diners turned to look. Piper wanted to slap him again but stopped herself. She knew if she did, she'd never stop and she'd end up in a police cruiser. Just thinking about Alex's face when she had to watch Piper being cuffed was enough to still her arm.

"Don't tell me you didn't realize you'd hurt her. You wrote that entire thing knowing full well it would hurt her. Now, we're celebrating the end of my tour and our engagement. Shut the fuck up, eat your dinner or leave, I don't care, but stay the fuck away from me and everyone I love." Piper warned as she walked away.

"Piper...I didn't know she'd react that way. Yes, I wanted to hurt you like you hurt me. I wanted to lash out because you loved her more. You kept trying with me long after you knew that you loved her more. It took me a long while to even think about moving on but I eventually did...and if I'm honest I drank too much. I'm sorry it went as far as it did," Larry said. Piper just turned away again and walked in to the restaurant. Alex was standing near the door. She wasn't surprised she took Alex by her hand and walked back with her to their table. She smiled and winked at everyone. They laughed and she put them all at ease. The Blooms met Larry at the door and his father ushered them to the front and out the door. Piper carried on the conversation for awhile and then asked Eva if she ordered the Chicken.

Alex told the table that she had to leave immediately due to a migraine. She made a comment about it being brought on by Ex-fiancés and they laughed. Piper thanked everyone and became the concerned girlfriend as she walked Alex out. Once in the car she curled up in Alex's lap and buried her face in her hair. Alex told her how proud she was of her as they rode to Brooklyn.

"I just want you, naked holding me in my bed. That and Larry Bloom out of New York," Piper said. Alex nodded and made another phone call. She didn't say much but Piper could tell she was making her wishes known.

"He will be gone or fired by Tuesday. Maybe we will have a Larry free New York for Thanksgiving. Felt good to hit him though didn't it?" Alex asked her softly.

"It felt amazing...a little too amazing," Piper admitted. She kissed Alex again as they pulled up. Alex walked her inside and they went straight to bed. Soon Piper was curled up naked in her arms.

The next day her parents, Cal and Neri came over for lunch. . Alex had food delivered and lust lazed about with Piper all morning. Piper hugged her father for a long time and started crying. He soothed her and told her it would be alright. Chaucer loved Neri and was in her lap as soon as she sat down. Alex asked if anyone would like a drink and saw to everyone's needs. Piper's mother was very polite and Piper could tell she was impressed by the way Alex poured the tea.

"Tell you want Alex, I want to go walk around Prospect Park. Let's leave this family unit here alone to talk," Neri suggested.

"No hon, you're family and...well Alex is you know..."Cal started. Piper squinted her eyes at him and he held up his hands.

"No she's right. I'll go for a walk with the little mama here and you four can have some privacy," Alex suggested as she got up and walked over towards the door. Cal pointed out that it would effect both of them but Piper agreed.

"We can fill them in and thank you both for realizing we needed some time alone," she stated. Alex winked at her and grabbed her coat on the way out the door. Piper smiled to herself and sipped the tea.

"Okay, the surgery is the Monday after Thanksgiving. My surgeon is Dr. Little and he seems competent enough. I'll start Chemo once I'm out and strong enough. Until then, depending on what they see, I'll take an inhibitor. I'm told it will make me very sick as I recover. I'll need to be close by the hospital and maybe will need in home nursing," Her father explained. He told her specifically how big the cancer was and the symptoms he'd experienced. Piper didn't like the idea of him being sick from the inhibitor while he was recouping.

"Can't you wait to take that until you're completely healed from the surgery?" Piper asked. He explained that the inhibitor would work to stop any spread of the cancer while he prepares for the chemo. It is top of the line stuff but it may make him sick.

"I am going to stay here with your father as well Piper. We can rearrange your office or maybe make a room upstairs," her mother said. Cal and Piper looked at one another.

"Mom, he really needs to be relaxed and not stressed..." Cal started.

His father held up his hand. "No Cal, she is right. I need her. We'll not fight...or maybe we will when I'm feeling better but how else would we gage my recovery?" He joked. Piper shared her concerns as well but her parents were a rare united front.

"We can add a room upstairs.." her mother said again. Piper knew it would take a long time to clean out her uncles storage area.

"No, I'll move in full time with Alex. I'm already there most of the time. We'll take turns staying the night with Dad. She has offered to help in anyway and I'm sure she will be alright with it. I'll ask though to be sure. You can stay in the office Mom and Dad you can have my room. We'll move your stuff in after your surgery. I'd like to have Thanksgiving here or at Alex's place...together as a family." Piper said decisively. Each of them looked at the other. They often had huge fights on Thanksgiving and though it is one of Piper's favorite holidays, she enjoyed it because of the time she spent with friends, not family.

"Only if you invite your friends as well and we make it an engagement celebration as well," her father said. Piper protested and said she only wanted a small family dinner. "Nonsense Piper...we would most likely get upset with one another. This way we will all be on our best behavior and you will get to share with your friends. I'd like to see you with them...both of you with them. I'd like to meet this Nicky and Lorna you wrote me about. I'd like to thank them and others for helping you find your love again. Your happiness is very important to me...to us, little one." He took her mother's hand as he said it and Piper started to cry. Cal put his arm over her shoulder and made some lame joke about her supposedly being the happy one. Piper fake slapped his arm and then smiled at her dad. She nodded her head agreeing.

"Great, I'll contact Polly. We'll take care of the engagement celebration, you and Cal make dinner. Alex need only provide the space and of course, be attentive to you," her mom said as she finished her tea. Piper sure hoped Alex agreed.

"I have to discuss it with her first. WE can suggest it all but she has to agree. She is recovering from her own ordeal, opening a new store and I don't want to pressure her. We'll move it here it if is too much," Piper explained. Her father nodded and seemed happy that Piper had realized she needed to speak to her fiance.

Alex and Neri returned. They entered laughing and Neri was eating ice cream. Alex took her jacket and hung them both in the closet. Piper took her by the hand and walked her into the kitchen. She filled her in on his condition and asked about moving in with her. Alex liked the idea but seemed as worried as Piper was about her parents co-habitating again.

"They both seem to think it is a good idea. Look, um..they want to have a Thanksgiving engagement party. I um offered to cook dinner at your place. Well Cal makes the turkey...it seems to have grown into a full fledge party. I know it is quick for our friends but...I mean maybe you don't..." Piper stumbled trying to ask without pressuring her.

"No I think it is a great idea. I'll get on the phone with Taystee, Nicky, Lorna and Roger. You take care of Polly, Pete and Raven. It will be great...and it will be a family gathering...together. You up for it?" Alex asked her. Piper nodded and kissed her thoroughly. "You are welcome to invite your niece and Aunt as well. They are coming in to town that week right?" Alex shrugged and said she'd invite them but not to hold her breath for an affirmative answer. Alex then kissed her again. She turned her head when she broke the kiss and saw her family watching. She gave them two thumbs up and even Cal smiled. A Chapman-Vause family event...what could go wrong?

***I was happy to actually get a second chapter out this weekend. Thank you for your reviews. Please review and let me know where you are from as I love to read that. Peace to everyone! Fae***


	92. Chapter 92 Yikesgiving

The dinner was spectacular. Her family arrived early within ten minutes of each other. Piper had to admit that Cal can cook. She made some of the dishes and the rest was catered. Not that turkey...no Cal was in the zone and Piper enjoyed watching him cook. Alex opened the door and took their coats. Finn latched on to her leg and Alex carried him to the office to put up coats. Alex was pale and Piper almost went with her. Polly grabbed her elbow and steered her to the kitchen asking how her dad was doing. Pete went straight over to see him with a puzzle. Apparently, they liked the same 3D puzzles. Piper used her grandmother's china. Her uncle was staying in Florida for the holiday.

Alex's aunt declined attending. Her cousin Annette came and Alex was ecstatic. She was younger than Alex but Piper knew she was someone close to Alex. She was her Aunt's youngest daughter. Alex was nervous to see her but Piper could see that they had a great friendship. Apparently she had written to Alex the entire time she was in prison. Piper also felt that Annette had helped Alex with power of attorney and in financial deals. She was the family that Alex trusted. Piper really hoped she liked her.

They looked alike and it took Piper like a knock to her chest. She immediately missed Alex's mother. Annette looked like her almost as much as Alex. She brought a pumpkin pie that had Alex salivating.

"She is the only one that does it right. I can't make this pie. No one well...Mom tried to teach me but..." Alex beamed. Piper laughed and caught her mother looking at Alex. Piper reached out and touched Alex's hand.

"I had your mom's pie...you're telling me it is close..."Piper looked up at Annette. Annette shrugged.

"I don't claim the same outcome. I still have dreams about that pie," Annette said. They all sighed and Piper felt Alex squeeze her hand. She then showed off her ring in the sweetest manner. She let go of Alex's hand and watched her show her family to the kitchen. Neri introduced herself and asked her ifs she was vegan. She laughed and Alex seemed proud.

Roger and Chris came with amazing wine. Alex called Piper over and they welcome them together. Alex hugged Roger for a long time and Piper blinked some tears away.

"I missed you. I want to say I'm sorry and we finally found each other again. I...was a complete fuck as I said before. I don't know why you stick around, my friend, "Alex said to him in a low voice. Piper slipped her arm from around Chris' sexy waist and put both of her arms around her woman.

"I'm sorry too and we want to show you something," Piper said as Alex laughed and raised her finger. Roger grabbed her hand and yanked Alex whole hand under the light on the foyer wall. He whistled and yanked Alex in to a big hug.

"She did good and you did for saying yes...about damn time. As for your apologies...again, let's talk more about it later but now that I know more I understand a bit better. It wasn't a very good time for either of you. I um...got to tell you something as well," he said as he held up his left hand. Chris did as well and they saw matching silver bands. Piper hugged them both as they explained they had tied the knot in Vancouver. Alex was so happy for them. She introduced Roger and Chris to everyone as Piper helped her brother with basting the turkey.

The bird smelled amazing but wasn't ready...or so Cal said. Piper thought it was just fine. It nearly slipped as they were pulling it out. Cal started to curse but saw Finn standing in the kitchen watching him with rapt attention.

"Holy Fu-um yikes!" Cal blurted out as he made sure the oven door didn't slip down and deposit the turkey in the floor. Finn laughed and ran round the kitchen counter yelling "yikes, yikes". Piper wasn't sure what was more adorable, Finn yelling 'yikes' like a Scooby Doo cartoon or the fact her brother censored his language for a child. He was going to be an amazing father. Raven called and wished her a happy Thanksgiving. She was in New Jersey with her family and would be returning that night. Nicky and Lorna finally arrived. Taystee tagged along as well. Piper pulled herself away from the kitchen and hugged them all. She introduced them to her parents.

"OH it is nice to finally meet you Ma'am," Nicky said in her sweetest tone. Lorna smiled and didn't say much. Piper could tell she was nervous. She put her arm around her waist and smiled at her showing how she cared.

"You used to watch from the visitation window. Piper would walk over to you afterwards sometimes," her mother said as she shook Nicky's hand. Piper winced. She didn't like to remind Nicky that her own mother didn't visit her in prison. Nicky went through a long dry spell of no visitors.

"Yes Ma'am. Piper would tell me how lucky she was to have parents like the two of you and I had to agree. She would blush when I said the two of you looked alike," Nicky said. Her mother beamed with total happiness. Piper looked at Nicky with wide eyes and had to blink at how she lied with complete ease. Her mom however, stood and hugged them both. She squeezed Piper and she smelled her perfume. It was a comforting smell, Shalamar. It reminded Piper of comfort now. She looked at Nicky over her mother's shoulder and she shrugged. Piper mouthed, "thank you" to her and then pulled herself away. Taystee was her open and lovely self. She seemed to hit it off with Annette and they struck up a conversation about college. It warmed Piper's heart to see her feel at home enough to laugh and be herself.

Piper introduced Nicky to Polly as well. Polly hugged them both closely. Somehow her reaction made Piper tear up. Polly said something to them that Piper didn't catch. She knew it was something along the lines of thank you for having Piper's back in prison. She thought for the thousandth time that she was very lucky to have friends like these.

Everyone mingled as the Chapman siblings finished dinner. Alex, Nicky, Annette and Lorna made sure the table was all set. Alex wouldn't let the older Chapmans help. Roger entertained everyone in the living room with tales of their wedding service. Piper walked over to put some food on the table. It was nearly ready. Alex kissed her thoroughly.

"I remember a certain Thanksgiving that you wouldn't eat a bite Vause," Nicky drawled. Alex glared at her and Piper gave her a curious glance.

"Oh yeah, it was one of Red's better meals though we didn't have her gravy, remember? I know why but I'm not saying until after dinner," Lorna said in a lower voice, that still carried around the kitchen. "That wasn't way Alex wasn't eating though." She recalled. Piper frowned not liking the reference to Alex not eating. Alex waved her hand to shush them but Piper glared until she responded.

"You were in the SHU...remember...Milkshakes, Pensatucky and Healy?" Alex offered. Piper blushed and nodded. She did recall her time in the SHU. It wasn't like she could forget. It still visited her nightmares.

"Oh yeah, the Thanksgiving that I had prison loaf...how could I forget. You mean you didn't eat your meal? Come on! Like I believe..." Piper stopped when Alex looked up and shrugged.

"Oh please, she was mooning over you, 'I just can't eat it...it doesn't seem right...this is Piper's favorite holiday...blah blah...I think she gave most of her food to Big Boo," Nicky offered. Lorna chimed in agreeing. Alex tried to shush them again and Piper got close to her and kissed her neck.

"You didn't eat for me...awww you were crazy about me even then...weren't you?" Piper said as they kissed.

"Don't let it go to your head, kid. I felt bad I didn't do more to defend you is all," Alex teased as she broke from the kiss.

Lorna laughed, "Please the two of you were the best entertainment we had. Besides, we both know if you had defended her with one more word, Healy would have written you up for assault. Poussey told me that she had to stop you for rushing towards him and ending up in the SHU or worse," Lorna said. They hadn't been there at the time and had to hear about it through the ever present prison rumour network. Piper had been so scared she could only remember looking back at Alex once. Poussey had stepped up to stop her. Taystee walked up and chimed in, "You mean my going away party? Yeah those cracker ass punks busted it up. They was just dancing to milkshake...was hot I gotta admit. I don't go your way but the two of you dancing together was somethin' else. Lightening in a bottle!" Taystee wolf whistled. Piper blushed. "Piper was like, " you asked me a question"- shit even Pornstache was surprised by Healy's reaction. He had a hard-on for you Pipes." Piper winced and checked that Finn wasn't too close. He'd be repeating each word. Luckily, Pete had taken him to the bathroom.

Alex pulled Piper in for a close hug and then they realized everyone in the living room was listening to them reminisce. Piper hadn't written about her time in the SHU. Polly asked what they did specifically to get her thrown in there.

Piper responded, "We danced at her party...just like she said. Someone ratted that we were being too um..anyway, I got tossed in the SHU. He came by to let me out a few hours later, " Piper clarified. Alex, Nicky all of them looked at her like she was crazy. She then remembered no one knew what she'd said.

"Ghosty, you're crazy. You was in the SHU at least a day, almost two. You missed the meal, remember?" Taystee said as if to jog her memory.

"Oh...um...yeah see, I Healy came by to lecture me about how I didn't behave like that...how I was a good, straight white girl and I just needed time in that place...a Time Out if you will," Piper said with sarcasm dripping from every word.

Alex winced. "That explains it," she said. Polly shook her head and Cal started to laugh. The rest looked to Piper to explain.

"I realized he was jealous. He wanted me to be what I should have been, the good, straight white girl that had a crush on him. Instead, I told him that girls like me fucking love, tall, hot girls like her," Piper pointed her finger at her lover. "Then I um told him to go fuck himself. He said happy thanksgiving and shut the door. I had a panic attack and started to hear voices after that. I lost my temper and then nearly my mind. However, when I was let out there was a brilliant moment of clarity," Piper finished.

Nicky and Lorna couldn't help but laugh. Alex joined in as well. Taystee caught on when Nicky said, "Chapel" but no one else was sure what they were talking about. Piper changed the subject and hushed her prison friends before her Mother had a panic attack herself. Soon all the food was out on the table and it was time for her brother to set out the turkey. She helped him and everyone applauded. They said Grace, which was amusing to Alex. Her mother said a prayer she hadn't heard since she was a kid at her Grandmother's house. Her father stood and gave his usual Thanksgiving toast. This year Piper listened extra special and held on to Alex's hand as he said it,"I thank you God for this most amazing day, for the leaping greenly spirits of trees, and for the blue dream of sky and for everything which is natural, which is infinite, which is yes...e.e. cummings."

Piper held up her glass to him. She answered his quote with her own,"Every man in his lifetime needs to thank his faults...Ralph Waldo Emerson." Cal lifted his glass though he rolled his eyes as he did it.

"I'm an atheist and I thank God for it...Walt Whitman." He replied. This brought forth some laughter. Her mother complained about Whitman at the table.

Roger lifted his glass to keep it going, "Down on your knees, and thank heaven, fasting, for a good man's love...Eurpides."

Alex picked up the toast, "When you are deep in misery, you reach out to those who can help, people who can understand. Be thankful if you find them...Piper Chapman (Kerman/Fae)" Piper blushed and leaned in to kiss her fiancé. Cal complained that Piper would get a big head and that she should be banned from the table quotes more than Whitman. It went around the room with others giving quotes. Pete quoted WC Fields about women driving him to drink. Nicky did was well but sipped her water. She had given up alcohol and drugs. She was totally free of all drugs but caffeine and the occasional cigarette she snuck.

As always the tradition ended with her mother's toast, "Give us a thankful sense of the blessings in which we live, of the many comforts of our lot; that we may not deserve to lose them by discontent or indifference. Hear us almighty God, for his sake who has redeemed us, and taught us thus to pray. Amen...Jane Austen." Piper smiled at her but didn't whisper the Amen.

The table practically moaned with food. Piper hoped everyone ate a ton. Taystee checked out the spread of food before her and just shook her head. "I swear I've never seen a meal like this...Damn, y'all know how to put a feed on. I think we had big meals like this at my grandmas when I was a kid but I don't remember that time well," Taystee explained. Piper's family and friends were quiet. Lorna, Nicky and Alex didn't even look up from their plates. Piper noticed and she saw gently probed Taystee.

"Bunkie, my gravy isn't as good as the fabled Red's gravy...don't mention that one year please but try it. Didn't you eat at your cousin's house for holidays some?" Piper passed her the gravy. Conversations started up again at the table.

"Yeah before they lost the house...still girl this is a bit much for food stamps," Taystee said and she winked at Piper. Piper nodded listening.

"I know what you mean, Taystee. We'd have a turkey but unless the neighbors brought covered dishes, it was just potatoes," Alex chimed in as well. Annette mentioned again how the tradition of that pumpkin pie was always upheld. Lorna said it was usually a big family affair and everyone chipped in to feed the entire clan. Nicky was quiet about her holidays. Roger shared he had big meals with his grandparents. Chris came from a huge family and said he always had two meals that day.

"One at noon with one set of grandparents and then the evening with the other set...my parents are in Florida now and we've not had a family meal in ten years," he explained. Polly's tradition was to eat with Piper. Her family didn't celebrate the holiday together. Her mother would go skiing and her dad hunting.

"Piper, it seems you made a diverse group of friends. I think perhaps that is the only good thing that came out of your time in prison, little girl," her father said to her. Everyone at the table went quiet. Piper looked around and smiled big with tears in her eyes. She grabbed Alex's hand and squeezed it tightly.

"Not the only thing but yes Dad...they are a blessing. There are more as well...ones still inside eating prison food today," Piper had to swallow as she said it.

Taystee picked up her wine glass and held it high, "To the girls in the chow hall...here's hoping they have pieces of Turkey, not tidbits."

Lorna added, "And that Red's gravy is perfect."

Nicky picked up her glass and looked at it a moment. "Here's to all the families visiting for extra hours today. I hope everyone that wants one gets a visitor."

"Here's to the girls in the SHU, let's hope it isn't prison loaf today," Piper said and Alex just raised her glass. The table joined in the toast and Lorna kissed Nicky. It was so adorable that Alex had to make fun of them.

The entire meal was wonderful. When people were finished and Piper ate some of Annette's pie, Polly got out champagne. She had talked Piper's mom down from the huge party idea. They would simply recognize the engagement. Polly made a toast honoring the two of them and in it she told them they can't break up again.

"Seriously, none of us want to live with or around either of you while you're apart. It is too damn hard," she snarked. Piper's mother was having a fit that Polly brought it up but Piper laughed.

"Hell, y'all got it easy. Ghosty was so sick when Alex was with Nicky that she nearly died," Taystee blurted out. Everyone looked at her then at Alex. Alex gulped. Piper's eyes got big and she kicked Taystee under the table. "Ouch, you don't gotta...oh." Suddenly it dawned on Taystee who she was sitting with..." Oh sorry, you can take the gutter rat up outta the ghetto but..." she tried to joke.

" Wait...you dated...or whatever Nicky while Piper was in...is this why she ended up in the hospital Alex?" Polly asked. Piper winced...her friend as a bit too quick on the uptake sometimes. Alex started to talk but Lorna butted in with her with her loud voice.

"Not really...yes they hooked up once. Listen, please remember that Piper was with Larry. She chose Larry and Alex tried to move on...with Nicky. I did the same thing to Nicky. Since we all know they are soul mates, Piper took it hard. She had other issues going on as well. Taystee was her bunkie then and took care of her. I...hated seeing these two together. It took me a long while to realize they're just really good friends." Lorna smiled and winked at Polly.

"Anyway, thanks for the toast Polly and um Lorna...and thank you Mr. Chapman for allowing me to marry your daughter," Alex replied. Roger's eyes got wide and Nicky nodded with respect to Alex.

"See I told you that you should have called my father. You're going to have to back track at Christmas. Eloping is bad enough...Pop is going to want a conversation at the very least," Chris shot at a suddenly worried Roger. This shifted focus from them to another couple. Piper was very happy. They ate some cake and enjoyed the company the rest of the afternoon. Finn entertained everyone singing a song and saying, 'Yikesgiving' to Cal each chance he got. Everyone seemed to really have a good time and left in high spirits. Piper hugged her family for a long time before they left. The apartment seemed quiet once everyone was gone.

Piper was scared that she had pushed Alex in to agreeing to her moving in to her place. She wanted to live with her more than anything. She just wanted to be near her where she felt the safest. Piper however would really miss Brooklyn and considered it her home. Everything though seemed to take a back seat to her dad at the moment.

Piper climbed in to her bed and snuggled close to Alex. They had cleaned up the entire meal together. Piper talked about doing dishes with her dad. She said it was one chore he always insisted that they do together with him. They took turns. Alex had listened with rapt attention and expertly put all of her dishes up in the correct spots. Now they were in her bed and she closed her bright blue eyes. She could rest, sleep for hours in her arms. That seemed a perfect plan...except she had to talk.

That made her laugh and Alex asked, "What?" She whispered it as she kissed her temple. Piper shifted and looked across at her. Alex shook da bit to wake up. Piper found it adorable she was drowsy.

"You know we can renovate the upstairs here and I can keep ...and you know...did I force you to say yes by asking you with my -" Piper stammered a bit as she said it.

"We can renovate it anyway. It just needs to be cleaned out really. I can add a bathroom easily and it will be a good place for us to stay or Cal and Neri...we may be needed just. How about I take care of the renovation and you move in with me? I can get a crew in there rather quickly as I happen to still have one working for me. I haven't finished the studio. Whatever you want...I didn't feel pressured, I felt included and loved." Alex said succinctly.

Piper smiled and kissed her softly. "I do love you and I need you. I just want to make sure the circumstances...that ...well it is fast." Piper said again.

Alex looked at her, "Um yeah, I mean it is fast and I understand if you don't want to really. You..I mean I just..." Alex turned and put her glasses on, sitting up in the bed. "Piper just say it, do you not want to-"

"I do. We live together already; this is just putting us under one roof and officially saying we're doing it. We're engaged..I just.." Piper reached out and put her hands on her face. "I don't want to fuck up your recovery with my family drama. I'm worried Alex." Piper said with such fear in her eyes. She remembered that she needed to be away from Larry when she was trying to get better. Piper didn't want to be selfish and hide in Alex. She had to be strong too; she had to make tough decisions sometimes because it is better for her.

"Oh Piper, you said it yourself and please baby, let me take care of you some too. I'll talk to Dr. Speer but nothing is changing. We...don't sleep apart Piper. I mean I may get up some mornings but..." Alex made a motion to the bed. Their bed...and Piper pulled her down.

"Okay, well we have to share space. I love your furniture but I need my desk. I write at it and...well, I like it. I carried it to Connecticut with me. It was the first piece I bought in New York." Piper told her. Alex pulled her close and listened some as Piper yawned.

"We can put it in the bedroom by the wall, you will still have a window," Alex suggested. It didn't go better with the wood in there. Piper was happy. Alex pulled her close and strokes her back softly in small circles that lulled Piper. She was always amazed at the intimate things Alex remembered. Piper fell to sleep in hear arms.

Piper moved in that weekend. They enjoyed some time to themselves and at work. Piper helped with the new store. Lorna was amazing. She so enjoyed the looks on Alex's face. She had another piece in place. Alex worked the opening weekend. She packed up and had the movers there. She was super efficient. Polly came over and brought a bottle of wine and she helped pack her office. It was a great three hours that Piper needed. Alex worked hard and Piper found her terribly sexy. She spent time with her Dad. She packed in the wee hours of the morning. Her tired woman slept through the night.

Her father's surgery was at ten in the morning and it went very well. She got to see him and they stayed until visiting hours were over. Alex stayed with her except for when she drove Neri to the Townhouse to rest. It helped her mother to focus more and not worry about her grandchild. Piper was scared. It was ridiculous because she was a grown woman. Yet one is just a child when your parent is sick. Her mom was great and Piper was thankful that they had come together. She wanted to support her completely and they gently teased her about her handbag. Her mother had everything in that bag. She made positive comments about the staff and tried her best to be bright. Piper knew she was doing that because her father had specifically asked her to do it. Overall the entire day was terrifying and when she saw him she cried. That night she begged Alex to make love to her until she was totally exhausted. She passed out in her arms, clinging to her lover.

"I've got you," Alex whispered and Piper believed.

**Happy Yikesgiving..or happy Fall at least. I'm out of town for family celebrations the next little bit. I will try to write more next week. Please review and let me know where you're from if you haven't already. You make my day with each review! Peace, Fae**


	93. Chapter 93 It Isn't A Jungle Bush

Alex had workers complete the upstairs renovations in record time. Piper spent the first few nights her dad came home after the surgery, sleeping upstairs. Alex would join her and basically try to stay out of the way. Her mother was caring for him most of the time but she would get tired in the evening and Piper took over. Her father couldn't sleep and wasn't the best patient. He needed help to go to the bathroom and wasn't pleased when Piper had to assist. Cal came over and they moved upstairs. He seemed to be more at ease with Cal helping.

"I don't get it. Cal hasn't got a care giving bone in his body, but Dad seems happier..." Piper complained as she walked with Alex in Prospect Park.

"Babe, he is a man. It is less embarrassing. I...wow, I would want you to help me if it were me but I think men are different," Alex explained. They walked hand in hand. Piper felt better about Cal. Alex spoke to her about her therapy. She had been going two days a week for the past few weeks.

"Dr. Speer is nice. She would like to start a writing therapy or art with me. Did you do that?" Alex asked. Piper thought before she spoke. She was touched that Alex wanted to share with her and she didn't want to taint her process with her own.

"I did some art and writing. It was from that ...well I did write a book. There are other things, some journals I wrote that I didn't use. Most of those were for her...all of her strategies are great and work to relax you...and tell her things about you that you can't quiet...say," Piper admitted. Alex put her arm around her and kept walking. They stopped under a tree that still was vibrant with colors of Fall. Alex pulled her to her and hugged her close. Piper closed her eyes and rested her head on Alex's chest.

"It's harder than I expected," Alex admitted to her. Piper nodded her head and pulled Alex's hips closer. Piper pressed her against the tree and exhaled a breath. She listened to the park sounds and felt safe. She knew that the therapy would bring up memories that Alex would rather not remember. She knew it would go deeper than just the trauma she experienced in prison. All she could do is hold her. Piper had cried at night wanting Alex to hold her. She had cried alone in her bed on those hard nights.

Piper lifted her head and looked at Alex. "I am here to hold you or just listen. If you can't talk or need space, just say it baby...I'll go stay with Polly," Piper kissed her slips softly as she said it, " or I can just give you space." Alex looked at her and then nodded softly. She had a session today and Piper sensed she was worried about it.

"I promise to tell you. If I can't...I'll try not to rely on your telepathy to guess exactly what I'm feeling. It is physically exhausting. I've taken to scheduling myself off afterwards...I walk afterwards." Alex admitted. Piper nodded. She figured out that Alex was not coming back to the apartment right after her sessions. When they were in Brooklyn, she went to the park and if they were in Manhattan, she walked by the River. Piper had seen her walking when she caught a cab home from a meeting and saw Alex walking with purpose. Piper had asked her to go running the next day and she went with her. Piper had loved it.

"Don't overdo it, you can go home to your shop and not worry about me. Just Text me you want some time in your shop alone. I'll be there when you want and I'll make sure you aren't disturbed. If I have to leave, I'll text or leave a note." Piper offered in a calm voice. "But if you feel walking helps...you need to make sure you wear the right shoes." Alex laughed and kissed Piper, bringing her hand up to her hair and clutching it in her fist as she claimed her mouth. Piper moaned a very unladylike moan and totally forgot she was in a public park. Alex pulled her head back and drew a deep breath.

"Oh Fuck Piper, I could kiss you like that all day, every day. I'd much rather do that all afternoon than ...go visit Dr. Speer. You see, I did realize that I tried to fix all of our problems with sex when we were together before prison...that and monetary things. I just would rather feel good than awful. I'm an awful coward, Pipes." Alex whispered to her as she pressed her forehead to Piper's forehead. Piper had to calm her body and libido.

"I'd rather you do that as well...and I don't think you're a coward. I ran from therapy because I couldn't face having to work through losing you in therapy. Not again. I'm a coward, so I will never call you one."Piper insisted. She leaned her head back and reached up to stroke Alex's face. Piper traced her lips with her fingertips.

Alex kissed her fingers and then bit them playfully. Piper yelped and pulled her hand back fast and jerked. Alex caught her and twisted, pressing Piper against the trunk of the tree. She leaned in and nibbled at Piper's neck. Piper could see people walking along the path, some were jogging and a few were on bikes. It was a bright crisp day and she noted some folks were looking. She closed her eyes and felt a flush all over her body. She bit her lip and growled.

"What time is your appointment?" Piper asked breathless.

Alex chuckled against her neck and stopped taking small nibbles of her flesh to answer."Four-thirty. I have about an hour and a half, why?" Alex asked as she leaned her head up. Piper thought for a moment. She then looked where they were standing. They were close to a bridge. Piper took her by the hand and pulled her in to the shrubs and bushes. She started to jog and Alex followed keeping pace with her. She stopped by the bridge and then skirted down the side of the bank. She then leaned up against the wall and pulled Alex to her.

"I know it isn't a jungle bush in Indonesia, but you always did well in nature," Piper teased as she kissed Alex and rubbed her pelvis in slow circles against her. Alex grinned and her eyes flashed with delight. Piper closed her eyes and hoped she the sound of the water helped mask the sounds from her lips. Alex was relentless. She nibbled and sucked at Piper's breasts, through her shirt and refused to touch her where Piper needed her to...so Piper put her own damn fingers down her jeans. Alex growled and pulled at her wrist. Piper actually whimpered.

"I'd much rather have...oh fuck..." Piper was trying to explain when Alex licked her own fingers and ran them down her body. Piper's eyes got wide and she actually gasped as Alex delved in to her own black jeans with her long fingers. Piper wanted to touch...she wanted that wetness. She squinted and growled at Alex..but she jerked her hand out of her own pants. She pulled Alex to her and kissed her hard. Alex pulled her own fingers out and brought them up to their entwined lips. Piper turned her head and inhaled her ardor. It made her knees buckle. Alex held her with a hand on the back of her neck and then she unzipped Piper's pants and expertly maneuvered them down so she had full access to her lover.

"Don't close your eyes...look only at me..." Alex commanded. Piper readily obeyed and as she toppled over the precipice into an Earth awakening orgasm, Alex swooped down and kissed her, swallowing her screams of pleasure. As she slowly came around she felt Alex on her thigh, pressing her pelvis in quick jerking motions.

Piper tightened her muscle and put her hand on Alex's hip to guide her. She spoke in her ear as she started to jerk. "Close your eyes and lose yourself...I'll hold you here," she whispered. Alex did just that and they ended up collapsed against the side of the bridge. They held each other for a long time before Alex tidied up Piper's pants. She was soaked and felt like anyone could feel the wet stain on her pants. She enjoyed it. They made their slow way back and she had time to change. Piper walked with her and agreed to meet her back at the apartment later.

She had to work for a few hours that afternoon. It was tedious phone calls. Piper found she missed having Raven as full time help. Yet she knew she was doing what was best for her. She still helped Piper keep her calendar and helped her with household finance. It was hard for Piper to concentrate. Her mind was on Alex. She wanted her to have a productive day in therapy but was worried about how she dealt with the revelations she may face.

Piper ended up calling Polly. "How's Finn?" she asked.

"He is great. He is at Pre-school and I'm looking over the new advertising material sent over by the managing firm. I sent you an email with them mock up, did you get it?" Polly said, going right to business. Piper smiled, thankful for the distraction. Piper pulled up the email and looked through it with her. Polly asked her about her father and Piper told her that he had is first few treatments.

"He is hanging in there. Cal and Neri are staying there the rest of the week. I called Mom this morning and he had a bad night with his stomach. Thanks for asking." Piper added.

"What can I do to help more?" Polly asked. She had already arranged for a maid to come and work twice a week, keeping the house straight and doing laundry. Alex and Piper had insisted on sharing the cost with her. The nurse visited the house twice a day and it was nice that her mother didn't feel the need to clean it from top to bottom each time someone came over.

"Nothing, you're great. Actually, just being here now for me to talk about our business is amazing. Just having you there means the world to me." Piper said softly.

"You know I love you Pipes. Is everything okay with you and Alex?" Polly asked.

Piper sighed and nodded, then remembered she was on the phone, "Yeah, she is working through some hard stuff in therapy and I'm waiting. I'm waiting still to hear what happened to her in detail. It is hard to remain patient and let her tell me as she can. I want to know it all so I can help fix it. Yet, I know that isn't the case."

Polly said she understood, "It was hard waiting on you to tell. I didn't hear all of it ...still not sure I have actually...but I had to have faith you'd tell me when you could. Oh this may make you feel better. Larry is moving to L.A. His online magazine...newspaper...whatever pretty much told him that he had to move or find a new job. He is looking at it as a fresh start. He will be moving on Monday." Piper grinned. It was good news. Now she could go shopping in her old neighborhood without worry of getting arrested.

"Excellent. Alex will be pleased it worked," Piper said without really thinking. Polly heard it and told her to spill all the information. Piper told her that basically Alex had bought shares of his company until she had enough clout to get him moved. Polly laughed so hard Piper had to join in with her.

"Oh, ya know, Super Cunt has really stolen my heart. She rocks..couple that with how much Finn adores her and I must say, she's a keeper," Polly replied. Piper wasn't sure she liked the knick name super cunt, but Alex referred to her as super bitch, so maybe it was a term of endearment.

"Speaking of Finn, could you pick him up at his preschool tomorrow? I have a meeting and Pete is out of town at a conference. I'll be by to get him around seven so it is just for a few hours. You don't have to be with your dad do you?" Polly asked. Piper said she would pick him up but she'd have to see how Alex was doing before she brought him over.

"I can take him to the park or just go to your house with him if he gets tired. I get to feed him dinner right?" Piper asked with excitement. Polly said yes but she had to follow a realistic diet. No pizza and ice cream...just so she was his favorite God mother.

"I'm his _only godmother_ and spoiling him is my job! But, okay, we'll eat something good and wholesome," Piper replied. Polly thanked her and they got off the phone. Piper tried to work but eventually she just stopped and stared out the window. Nicky knocked on the door and Piper let her in to their apartment. She could sense that usually Nicky would have just walked right in to Alex's place but now she was trying to show more respect to their shared space.

"Hey Chapman, how is your dad doing?" Nicky asked as she carried a box in to the apartment and put it on the table. Piper glanced at it and could see it was a selection of books for the window display. Alex really liked to have input with what was placed there every few weeks. Raven and Taystee had collected the new books and put them in the box for her to decide.

"He is doing the best he can. He started the chemo inhibitor this week. He is more at ease with Cal helping him right now, so we're here. Thanks for helping train Raven and giving Alex and I some space. I know it is busy with the new store opening and this stretches you guys pretty thin." Piper said in a kind voice.

Nicky was training Raven on the payroll system. "That girl, Raven is really sharp. She picked up the system, tweaked it and explained it to Taystee in a way that made my explanation seem like rocket science." Piper laughed and agreed she is very smart. She looked over to the window and back at Nicky. Her thoughts were still with Alex. She was out of her session by now but not home.

"You seem worried Chapman. Everything okay?" Nicky asked.

"Yeah, I'm just a little worried, is all. I think I'll order Chinese. Do you know any good places around here that deliver?" Piper asked. Nicky went to the refrigerator and brought down a basket from the top. There were take-out menus in the basket she picked one.

"This is Alex's favorite. She used to order out all the time the first few weeks she was out. She only really started cooking for you." Nicky said with a grin. Piper felt better. She thanked her and Nicky put her hand on Piper's shoulder and leaned in to nudge her some. "She is a strong woman, you two can do this."

Piper turned her head and kissed Nicky on the cheek. Nicky gave her a funny look and she laughed. They ordered food and Piper hoped Alex would be home soon to eat. Nicky had to go and she told Piper not to worry one more time before she left. The food arrived and Piper plated it. She was going to warm up the oven to keep it when Alex came in. Her eyes were red and she looked very tired.

Piper wanted to rush up and hug her but she just sat on a stool and placed silverware by her plate. "Hey, I didn't feel like cooking so I ordered out. Nicky helped. If you're hungry, I got you Shrimp fried rice," Piper indicated with her hand. She picked up her fork and picked at her sesame chicken. Her appetite was completely gone.

"Hey, yeah...Chinese," Alex said in a rough voice. She walked over and sat down in front of Piper at the bar. Piper poured her some water from the pitcher.

"You want a beer?" she asked. Alex shook her head and took a bite of the rice. She chewed it slowly and kept her eyes down on her plate. Piper talked to her about her work and Nicky bringing the box up. Alex looked over at the box and seemed to slump. She seemed completely depressed.

"I'll get to that later," Alex said softly. Piper nodded and leaned back. Her one bite of seemed to grow in her mouth. She swallowed.

"Polly called and we talked shop a bit then she asked if I could pick up Finn from pre-school tomorrow and keep him until seven. Are you going to be here-" Piper started to ask.

"NO," Alex interrupted, "I'm going to be at the other store until about that time." Piper nodded.

"Great, I'll fix him dinner here and keep a plate warm for you," Piper said.

Alex shook her head, "I can get my own meal Piper. Feed the kid, I'll take care of myself," she said gruffily. Piper nodded again and put her fork down. She got up and went to get herself a beer. Alex sighed and rubbed her face.

"Baby, what would you do right now if I wasn't living here?" Piper asked. Alex looked over at her and pushed her glasses back on to her nose.

"I'd grab a bottle and head up to the shop. I'd either drink or work on that cat tree," Alex said in a low voice. Piper walked to the bar area, opened the cabinet and grabbed a bottle of tequila. She put it on the counter in front of Alex. She then got some wrap and wrapped up her plate.

"Take them both, go do your thing and know I love you. I do ask you eat something before you drink too much...oh and don't run a saw totally fucked up." Piper said as she sat back down and started to eat her dinner. Alex watched her as she pulled out her phone and flicked through her twitter. Alex took the bottle and plate in hand. She started to walk towards the door and stopped.

"I'm sorry I'm a jerk-" she began.

Piper's head shot up and she interrupted her, "No. You aren't a jerk, Baby. You're allowed to have a bad time. You're allowed to tell me you can't stomach your dinner right now or you need to be alone in your shop. Whatever you need...I love you."

Alex looked over at her and shook her head in disbelief, " I don't know what I did to deserve you back. I don't feel like I do deserve...I don't want to lose you again. I can't live through it," Alex said in a soft whisper. Piper got up and walked around the bar, she circled Alex's waist with her arms and lifted her head to look at her face.

"Ditto, kiddo," was all Piper said. She kissed Alex lightly and turned back to her dinner. Piper heard Alex exhale and chuckle low as she left the kitchen. Piper sat and picked up her phone. She ate her Chinese alone and tried to keep her worry to a minimum.

**I really just love Prospect Park. I've been to Central Park but looking at Maps of Prospect park really make me want to visit. I wanted to thank all of you for putting your location in your reviews. Please keep it up! You inspire me. I know I don't post as much as I did before but as it comes to an end, I guess that is to be expected. Please Review! Peace, Fae**


	94. Chapter 94 The Moons of Jupiter

Piper got a phone call after dinner from her mother. She asked Piper to come over and stay with her father while she attended a brunch. Cal and Neri were going to take the day and go to see the progress on the house. Cal had finally taken Alex's suggestion and let her hire a crew to finish getting the house under roof. He was anxious to see the progress. She told her mom she had to pick up Finn but she was assured that she'd be finished by then. Piper told her she would then juggled some things around on her calendar the next day and worked later. It was a great distraction. She fell in to bed actually tired. Though she opened her eyes and stared out the big window as soon as she got comfortable. Falling to sleep without Alex was near impossible.

Alex came to bed late that night; she smelled of tequila and saw dust. Piper looked back at her and said, "Will you be my big spoon?" she asked in a sleepy voice. Alex pulled her close and buried her face in Piper's hair. Piper remembered nights when Alex would stumble home after a late night delivery or run that had gone wrong. It was familiar and Piper felt warm all over as she pressed against her back.

"I'm gonna tell you...we talked about it in session today...I love you so much, fear eats at me and that pisses me off. I'm not always gonna be nice and want to keep house. I seriously considered just calling you from the airport and taking off to anywhere today. I knew I wouldn't but it made me feel better to think about it. The thing that stopped me was I knew no matter where I went, I'd want you there."Alex murmured into her hair. Piper closed her eyes and fought her panic.

After a few minutes Piper kissed Alex's hand on her ring, "My passport is up to date...I've had a craving for Cambodia since Litchfield." Piper whispered back. Alex chuckled and pulled her closer. She didn't try to make move to Piper but Piper could tell she wanted it. She wanted to get lost in her lover's body. Yet, Piper was pretty sure it would be a hazy fog. They used to do that, dance and dance...come home with the sun and have intense drunk sex.

Piper turned and kissed Alex. She pressed her body close and nuzzled at her neck. "You want me baby? You want to fuck me until I make those noises that let you know I'm lost in you? I don't care your still a bit drunk...I remember more than one hazy fuck," Piper murmured against her ear. "Make me hurt tomorrow..."

Alex did just that. She kissed all down her body and sucked her nipples hard until Piper tried to squirm away...yet she clutched her head to her chest. Piper bit into Alex with her nails and was rewarded by her hissing on to Piper's nipple. She flipped over and brought her thigh right up between her lover's thighs. It was back and forth like that...bringing each other closer and closer to the edge. Finally, Alex pressed her down with her arm and fucked Piper with three then four fingers. Piper was determined and lowered her hand to Alex as well. She found Alex's center and touched her swollen need with fingers so familiar. Piper started to quiver when she felt the fountain between her legs. She wanted Alex to come with her. Piper felt her orgasm explode between one thrust to the other. She screamed out her name and felt Alex shudder against her. Her heart raced and her eyes rolled back in her head. She felt light headed from the intensity, the endorphins of their love making.

"Thank you for being here," Alex moaned against her hair. Piper turned and murmured that she was more than welcome. They fell to sleep spooning.

The next morning, Alex wasn't in bed when Piper woke. She was in the shower and Piper joined her without a second thought. Alex turned as she was washing the shampoo from her hair and looked at Piper with such love that Piper lost her breath for a moment. Alex pulled her close under the stream of hot water. She kissed her like she was air and Alex could inhale her. It was the best way to start her day. Alex didn't stop the kissing with her lips; she traveled down Piper's wet body and settled herself between her thighs. Alex put one of Piper's legs over her shoulder and had her lean back against the rock wall. Piper clutched at the rail and felt her world shift to that amazing mouth. She couldn't think of anything but how perfect Alex's lips and tongue were on her clit. Her fiancé was able drive Piper's passion wild with her talented tongue. Piper clutched and rubbed her own nipples as Alex teased and flicked her near the edge of her orgasm...then stopped to kiss her swollen labia and bring Piper back from her impending orgasm. Piper panted and brought her right hand down to grab Alex's hair. She rotated her hips and pressed her lover's face to her sex more. She was desperate as Alex again started the flicking of her tongue, this time with in unison with two very long, talented fingers inside. Piper moaned and told her she was cumming...all the while, hoping Alex didn't stop and make her wait more. This time Alex clutched her ass and slid her fingertip to Piper's tightest hole. She stroked it in circles and inserted her fingertip. This sent Piper screaming out her orgasm.

"FUUUCCCCKK YYESSS! OH FUCK ALEX..." Piper screamed as she clung to her head and the railing. Alex held her in place as she rode the light fantastic through her ecstasy. All the while Alex delved in to her ass with her finger. Piper had only ever allowed Alex to explore there. It was always intense and when she focused all of her attention on that orifice, Piper usually ended up a shattered, soaked mess of a woman. Alex finally rose and held Piper close. She pulled her out and dried her off. They walked with their arms around one another and fell back into the bed.

"You've not done that in a long while. You used to explore there often," Piper whispered in to her neck.

Alex nodded and replied, "Yeah, I love doing anal stuff with you because it affects you in such a way...you just come unhinged. I've had a few lovers that enjoyed it but none like you. I didn't know if you did it with Larry...and I didn't want to ask or know, so I didn't go there."

Piper looked into her lover's eyes and kisses her lips with tenderness before she spoke. "Only you...Larry tried a couple of times and I said no. It would make me think of you...make me miss your lovemaking...same thing with Oral, he would try and try but I'd end up faking a small orgasm, flip him over and ride," Piper admitted. Alex tensed some as she got specific but relaxed after a few moments to think about what Piper said.

"So, even when you were happy with Larry, you thought about me while in bed?" Alex seemed not to believe what Piper was saying.

"Did you think of me with Nora and ...the others you fucked after we broke up?" Piper asked right back at her.

"Yes. I compared them...some were very good in bed and exciting to fuck. They just weren't you. I can see though were it would be different with Larry...like you said that time in the chow hall." Piper nodded and smiled. She was always so happy when Alex remembered what she said.

"I always thought of you. He had no clue I had been with women before. I alluded to messing around in college but he didn't know I'd dated you...lived with you...loved you. So I didn't speak about it much, but you were on my mind often while we fucked." Piper admitted. Alex seemed very pleased with that response. Piper then rolled over on to Alex and kissed her with heated passion. She used her fingers to tease down her lover's body until she stroked at her sex. Alex kissed her back and held on tight.

Piper pressed down on Alex and nibbled at her neck. She kissed her ear and whispered, "Oh Baby, you wet for me?" Instantly, Alex jerked and froze. Piper didn't at first realize what was wrong, but she felt her heart racing and Alex jerked her head to the side. Piper leaned up on her forearms and looked at her lover's face. Alex was pale and her eyes green pools of terror. Immediately, she moved her body off of Alex and brought her hand to her mouth to quiet a sob. Alex rolled off the bed, grabbed her glasses and pressed her naked body against the wall by the bathroom door.

"It's okay, Alex. I'm...here, I'm sorry for...whatever I did to trigger that memory," Piper said in a small calm voice. She wanted to walk over and hug her close but she stayed very still on the bed. Alex seemed to gulp at air, as if she couldn't get enough in the regular way. Piper was immediately scared she'd pass out or hyperventilate. She didn't know what to do so she moved to the edge of the bed and tried to urge her to breathe slowly. Alex sank down the wall and sat in a closed off position. Piper slid off the bed and sat across from her, pulling her legs up. She sat and waited with her. Alex pushed her glasses up on her head.

"I'm sorry Piper...I thought I had pushed it away but it just..." Alex whispered sometime later. Her head was to the side. Piper could hold back no more, she moved closer to her and stopped just a hairs breath from the naked form of her love.

"Alex, I want to hold you. Just my arms around you...is that alight baby?" she asked in a voice that she knew was full of pleading. Alex looked up with tears in her eyes and nodded her head. Piper moved close and put her arms around her. She adjusted as her lover clung to her, burying her face in her thick blonde curls. Piper put her legs around Alex and squeezed. She started telling her that all the memories will be more manageable and these triggers will stop eventually.

"They will?" Alex asked softly offering the only proof in a few minutes that she was listening.

"One of my triggers was Larry pressing down on me...spooning was hard with him. I'm going to hazard a guess that ...your assailant whispered in your ear?" Piper prompted. Alex stiffened. Piper continued to hold her but she held her breath as well.

"Yes. Piper it happened more than once. The one time I told you about...that I fought it off was the last one," Alex whispered.

Piper swallowed and kept stroking her back with tender fingers. It was just as Alex had done her when she found her long ago in the Chapel. "Just...one man?" Piper inquired. Her voice sounded thick and foreign to her own ears. She was mentally checking herself, her rage...pushing it down so she could be gentle and listen.

"Yes, just the one, though he had a few buddies that watched for him. Had I been more susceptible to his advances, I'm sure he would have shared me," Alex replied in a deadpan tone that made Piper bite her lip to choke back a sob. "The first time he pushed his hand in my uniform he said that..."You're wet for me"- but I wasn't I was...I don't want to talk about it. I...am free of it and healing. I've got you." Alex turned and kissed Piper. She rose then and told Piper she was going to clean up some. Piper went with the sudden switch though she wanted to ask more, she wanted to know his name and she wanted to break something. Yet she smiled and remained calm. She told Alex she was heading to Brooklyn to spend the day with her dad. Her mom had a charity brunch and her father insisted she attend it. Piper was going to relieve Cal and Neri until she left to go get Finn.

She smiled softly as Alex stopped at the door to the closet and looked at her. "I love you Alex Vause. Thank you for telling me that. You're everything I need. Call me if you need me." Alex pushed her glasses down off her head and up on her nose.

"I fucking love you too Piper Chapman," was all she said before she turned to go get ready. She didn't see Piper turn and bury her face in her hands. Piper cried softly for a few moments before she wiped her eyes with frustrated hands. Chaucer jumped up in to her lap and nuzzled Piper's hand to be petted. She stroked the cat and calmed herself. She refused to deal on the details of what she heard. She simply couldn't process it at the moment. Her family was expecting her to help with her dad. This was something Piper could actually do. She could actually be of some freaking use to someone. She kissed Chaucer on the head and then Piper got dressed, gathered some things and left the apartment munching on a scone. She caught a cab and made a few calls on the way. She had the cab stop at a diner that had great shakes. She got a black cherry one for her dad to eat later and tipped the girl an extra five dollars for making it so early in the day. He wasn't eating much but liked a shake now and again. She picked up some coffee from the corner shop and Cal was very thankful to see her. She gave him his coffee and Neri her tea. Her mother was walking around fussing over the pillows on the sofa. The energy shifted when Piper came in...it was her home. She was on the lease, yet she opened it and gave it over to her family. Somehow, Piper felt her mom looked at her differently. Maybe she saw a helper and not a drain. Piper prayed that was the case.

"I'm still not sure I should leave. He gets cranky before he knows he has more meds...I don't want you two to-" her mother began.

"Mom, go to your thing, get out of his face and enjoy your life a little. Catch up on what is going on with the girls...and make sure they don't book the fall fundraiser at some Circus or something. I'm going to read a bit with him. "Did you call a car? I left the service number by the phone..." Piper changed direction of the conversation with a skill she learned from her mother. She nodded and looked at Piper in a manner that totally showed her she was aware she was being handled.

"I did. I also sent a thank you card to Alex at that store, where you live..." her mother said. Piper closed her eyes and took a sip of her tea. She'd be sure to check the mail when she got home from picking up Finn.

Piper nodded and looked out the front window. " I think your car is here Mom. Cal, you heading out?" Piper asked as she saw her brother and Neri come down the stairs.

"Yes, we are taking the train to the rental place. We'll be back tonight," Neri said as they put on their jackets. She was showing now some and Piper couldn't help but look at the growing life. She was going to be an Aunt. It was amazing to her and she was in awe of how calm Cal seemed to be. He was obsessing over the home a bit though. Most of their conversations lately have been about Dad, his health, baby growth and the house.

"Tell Alex that upstairs is awesome. The floor is almost a perfect match, the bathroom upgrade is sinful. You probably doubled the value," he said to Piper as he kissed her on the cheek. Piper knew it was his way of saying Alex was doing good. She took it as a good conversation and kissed him back on the cheek.

"Okay, enjoy the trip and take pictures to show Dad," Piper suggested. She had guessed he was pissed he didn't feel up to going with Cal. Piper knew that Neri and Cal needed time together alone. She was very happy the upstairs was comfortable and ready for them. The love for Alex welled up inside of her and she wished she was here with her. They left and Piper looked up to see her Dad come down the hall. He had lost so much weight that Piper had to catch her breath before she smiled.

"Is the coast clear?" he asked in a gentle manner that told Piper he was aware of how he looked and was going to ignore her reaction. She was immediately relieved and nodded affirming they were alone.

"I brought that collection of short stories by the Nobel Laureate Alice Munro and a milkshake," Piper said holding up the shake and book. Her father took the shake as he passed and then went to Piper's favorite reading chair. She tossed some pillows on the floor beside him and sat with legs crossed at his feet. It was a mimic of the pose they used to take in the home he used to share with her mother.

"On crisp Sunday mornings in prison, when I didn't have to work, I'd get a nutra-grain bar, cold tea and the best book that someone sent me- and go sit under this tree in the yard. It was an almost perfect morning. It always made me think of you. That is what made it almost perfect, for just a little while I could imagine sitting and reading with you." Piper shared. Her father sipped on his milkshake. Piper knew her mother wouldn't approve of him drinking that in the morning and she knew that was probably why he did it.

"That is a much nicer image of you than the one of you pressed against the glass of that barred window. Larry warned me not to look up but I figured if he could see you there and drive off each week, I could." Her father reached his hand down and stroked Piper's hair. She bit her lip and pressed her cheek in to his palm. So much emotion swirled inside of her that she wanted to spill everything to her father. She wanted to tell him about Alex...tell him that they would share that tree as well...that Alex read to her there and it helped her to feel safe when nothing else could. But Piper knew she couldn't do that. She couldn't share these facts with him. He had enough going on at the moment.

"Larry told me later how hard that was...I needed to see my visitors go out of the gate. It hurt but catching a glimpse of you walking out was important to me." Piper replied. She then swallowed down her emotion and lifted up the stories. "Some of these might be a bit hard to read, but she was the master craftswoman of the short story." Her father nodded and leaned back. Piper put a blanket around his legs and he let her. She started to read, "Lives of Girls and Women". They thoroughly enjoyed it though Piper laughed at the description of the unwanted penis. It was a little difficult reading that part but her father had to laugh.

She then started to read, "The Moons of Jupiter." Right away Piper could see the parallel to their situation. The story was so well written it wove together and expressed so many of Piper's feelings. When she finished it, her father reached down and patted her hand. Piper smiled up at him and wiped her eyes. It was amazing what good literature could bring up in a person.

Piper looked at the time and realized her mom would be home soon. "Time for one more story I think, then your meds?" Piper suggested. He nodded but she noted he made a face. She smiled and started to read, "The Love of A Good Woman." It was a long one and Piper had to put it down to go get her dad's medicine. He took the pills and the liquid that is supposed to make him hungry. She did note that he finished nearly all of his milkshake. The ending was gripping and they talked about the story for a few minutes. Piper went to wash out her tea cup and toss it. When she returned her father was asleep. His head was back and his mouth was open. She closed her eyes to the picture he presented. He looked old and frail. Piper still had a hard time wrapping her brain around that fact.

She let him sleep and got busy cleaning the already clean house. Cleaning was her way of trying to take control of something in her life. She was on her knees scrubbing the bathroom floor when her mom came home. Her mom walked in to the bathroom, reached down and pulled Piper up by her arm. Piper asked her how her brunch went and told her all about the wonderful stories they read. Her mother just nodded and walked Piper into her old bedroom. Her father's meds occupied the bedside table. Piper noticed that her mother's clock was on the other side. She smiled a bit realizing her mom was most likely sleeping in here with her dad.

She sat Piper down on the bed and asked, "Is it just your father's illness or is something else bothering you?" Piper started to protest and say everything was fine but she knew that was what the old Piper would say. This Piper actually had a functioning relationship with her parents. She told her mother that Alex had been abused. She didn't give her details; just that she had shared some of the details that morning.

"Couple that with how frail Dad looks and I just couldn't deal...so I cleaned the floor...which was spotless already. We really should tip that cleaner Polly sent over," Piper babbled. Her mom put her arm around Piper and pulled her close. She fought it for a few moments, even tried to pull away but she started to cry. Her mom patted her shoulder and murmured soft words to Piper.

Piper sobbed, " I can't help her...oh God Mom, I want to kill the man that attacked her...I am so angry." Pipers hands shook so that her mother gathered them up to her and held them fast. "I can't help her...all I can do is wait on her to tell me and be patient. Mom, I suck at patient." Her mom laughed softly agreeing with her.

Then she simply said, "Love is Patient, Love is kind. You love this woman so much you've broken the law for her. You love this woman so much you threw away a man that adored you just for the chance that one day you could hold her again. I have every faith you'll find away to help her that doesn't include killing her assailant." Her mom had warned her in the end and Piper could see that she had not one doubt that Piper would kill for Alex. Maybe her mother could finally see the depth of their love. Her mom held her close for a little while before they heard her father stir. She washed her face as her mother went to see if her father needed anything. She was lecturing him about eating a milkshake for breakfast when Piper entered the room; she could tell though that her mother was impressed that he'd eaten most of it.

"I had better head out to go get Finn. I love you both." Piper said from the door. Her father waved at her and her mom blew her a kiss, then they started right back to fussing. It was gentle though and Piper knew it seemed kind of fun to them. She walked out of her old house and took a deep breath of cold December air. She walked a couple of blocks before getting a cab. Her mind was whirling but settled on her mother's words. "Love is Patient and Love is kind" She kept that refrain in her mind as she hailed a cab to go pick up her Godson.

****Not the easiest chapter for me to write for personal reasons but a necessary one in the progression of our girls. I adore the reviews! I read and re-read them. It amazes me to see people that do not speak English as their first language, attempting to read and understand my long story. I will say it again...it is this length because of my wonderful readers. You urged me to plot out the story and fully develop the characters until they grew into people that can handle what my imagination throws at them. You simply are the very best! I will continue their story when "Covering Up" comes to a close. Please review-be wordy- be quick- just please share your thoughts! Peace, Fae***


	95. Chapter 95 Finn, Naps and the Mail

Piper had no problem picking up Finn at the preschool. She was on the list and Polly had called twice. He was ecstatic to see his Pi Pi. He babbled on about his day and how he colored the wrong picture but the teacher liked it so much she put it up on the board. Piper listened and let his enthusiasm wash over her. She had told the car service to meet her at the preschool and was thrilled that John had remembered the car seat. She took him to Book 'Em and could hardly contain her glee at his expression. He loved the store. He ran into the shop as soon as she opened the door. He darted around Raven with a "Hi Miss Raven" and ran straight back to the kid section. There was a chair there, shaped like a small race car. He was looking at the bookshelves and eyeing the occupied chair. Piper watched him with love in her eyes. She knew she'd end up getting him a few books but it was expected. He loved books almost as much as his Godmother.

"He is full of fire and loves books almost as much as you and Vause," Taystee said as she watched Finn choose a book and sit down before the shelf.

"Yes he loves books and thinks the fact that Alex and I live over a bookstore is really cool. I'll take whatever wow I can get if it gets me that smile." Piper said with such love in her eyes. She looked away from him and up the stairs. She knew Alex was in Brooklyn but she still wanted to see her up there.

Taystee saw the look and said, "She called earlier and said they were having a huge turnout for the reading. She was in the zone, you know...like when she was having a bad period day in the laundry and wouldn't look for your bag a day early." Piper nodded remembering that Alex as the same one that would be stressed and grumpy when they lived together in Europe.

**Piper had found a wonderful cafe about five blocks from their apartment. It had English speaking waiters and they seemed to be genuinely fond of Americans. She rushed back to tell Alex about the find. Alex had been busy working all day and Piper hoped they could go out together. She came home to find Billy and two mules in her living room. One girl's name was Claudia. Piper didn't care for her that much because Alex had fucked her before Piper got with her. Claudia felt it gave her some pull with Alex that the other girls didn't have. **

**"I don't care Alex; I'm not going to Rio again. I know what I felt and the customs guys there are on to me. Send another girl...one of the new ones...maybe Clare here," she motioned to the younger woman sitting beside her. Claudia looked over at Piper and she gave a small attempt at a smile. **

**"You have to go, Clare is booked to go to Istanbul. Claudia, you are a pro at this and you know Fahri is considering moving you up. He won't do that if I tell him you're losing your nerve on certain runs," Alex baited back. Claudia snorted and started to reply. Billy greeted Piper and she waved. Piper could tell from her tone that already Alex was done with the conversation. Piper walked over to her and bent down to kiss her softly. She blinked; somewhat surprised that Piper would kiss her in the middle of business. Piper didn't care. Claudia pissed her off, she didn't like her in the apartment and Alex knew it. Piper turned and sat herself in Alex's lap. Alex adjusted and cradled her close. Piper just closed her eyes and enjoyed the fact she could still climb in her girlfriend's lap if she wanted to do so. **

**"Want us to leave you alone?" Claudia snapped with contempt in her voice. **

**Piper shot back, "Yes please, then maybe I can fuck my woman without having to hear your complaining."**

**"Yeah, that is all you're good for...if you'd do another run like you should, we wouldn't be cutting it so close this month. You must be some kind of lay to warrant a free lifestyle in Europe-" Claudia didn't finish because Piper came up out of Alex's lap and got in her face. **

**"I ****_AM _**** a terrific lay- so damn good she made me her girlfriend-girlfriend...partner...NOT mule. If you don't fucking like it, don't come over." Piper was furious and Claudia pulled back suddenly as if she had hit her across the face. Alex stood and put her arm around Piper's stomach. She pulled her close and back on to her lap. **

**"Calm down Pipes, Claudia was just going to pack for Rio. Two day trip, Billy will bring you the ticket. Same thing for you Clare but Istanbul...I know you are staying for a few weeks, so enjoy. Now if you all don't mind, I'd like to be alone with my woman." Alex said and she motioned for them to leave. Rarely did Alex act like a boss or a drug runner. She did just then. Piper found it attractive as hell. They all left, as he passed Billy scuffed Piper's hair; she kicked at his ass as he passed. He skirted the kick and winked closing the door. Alex turned Piper in her lap and had her straddle her in the chair. **

**"Awful demanding...you know that business is business Piper, you shouldn't let Claudia get to you." Alex said."You don't want to know the details of my business. I keep most of it away from you. You do have to deal with the people we travel with Piper." Piper shrugged and kissed her with passion. She told her about the cafe and asked her to go with her. Alex sighed in a way that told Piper she had calls to make. It was like cold water was splashed all over her body. She tried to rise up and move off but Alex held her still. Piper pushed against her and struggled, Alex clung to her and pressed close, Piper knew she'd hurt her if she pushed harder, so she stopped.**

**"Let me go Alex, I understand...trust me I'll not do it again. Look, let me go and I'll get out of your hair," Piper asked in a soft tone that she used sometimes when Alex was zoned out working and Piper didn't want to bring out the frustrated Alex. Alex held her close and leaned up to kiss Piper. Piper tensed but Alex just kissed her softly. **

**"You are so sexy when you get territorial. I'm sorry my work is so stressful. Now you reach below in to my jeans and see what I was thinking about for tonight...and why I wanted them to leave." Alex said. Piper looked at her with a frown on her face but she reached down and felt. Alex was packing her favorite dildo. Her whole world shifted and she was instantly wet. They should talk...they should discuss how her work taints their life. Instead, Piper kissed her back with more passion. Piper moaned and unzipped Alex's pants at the same time her lover pushed up Piper's dress. Alex yanked her panties to the side, ripping them.**

**"Fuck me Alex, then take me to that cafe because you need to please me...please Alex," Piper begged as she was impaled. Alex pushed her to ride and moaned out an answer. Piper started to ride up and down as Alex held it just so. She never said she'd go to the cafe but her eyes were swimming with love and that thought sent Piper slamming into an orgasm. **

Piper shook herself and blinked back those immense passionate feelings. Taystee looked at her with a suspicious gaze. Piper just shrugged and turned to check on her godson. She saw Finn had made his selections. He carried them up to Taystee himself. She inspected his books and complimented his choices. He called her "Ma'am" and she snorted. Piper paid and took him by his small hand. She walked him up the long stairs to the apartment. On the landing, Raven turned to Finn and gave him a hug. She was sitting at the desk putting in Data. She reached over and handed Piper a stack of mail and documents.

"Alex's lawyer prepared some forms for both of you about medical power of attorney, life estate on the property and change of address for you. You are listed in the insurance as well and with the security. I think you may need a thumb scan soon for the loft." Raven said taking a deep breath. Piper laughed and Finn gave Raven another hug. She took the mail and documents upstairs and punched in the code to open the door. Finn ran in to look for Chaucer. He was nowhere to be found. Piper had to admire his senses, he heard Finn on the stairs. After setting the mail on her desk, she asked Finn if he wanted a snack. He didn't so they played horsey and he ran around the open space laughing. He asked for Alex at least twice and it made Piper smile. Finally, he calmed and then she read to him. It was almost three-thirty when his eyes began to droop. She pulled him up on the sofa with her and he drifted off to sleep before she was on the third page of his second new book.

She closed the books and placed it gently on the floor beside them. She smelled his hair and sighed. Piper imagined a dark haired boy with hazel eyes. She had to smile at the thought of a mini Alex. She pushed down all of her anxiety and just basked in the glow of the little sweaty boy in her arms. He had played so hard when he got upstairs. Her own eyes began to droop as she imagined being a mother of her Love's child.

She awoke with a start. It wasn't as bright in the room and she guessed it was around five. Shit. They had taken a long afternoon nap. Polly was going to kill her. He would be up late tonight! She started to shake him awake when she noticed they were covered with a blanket and saw that someone was sitting in the armchair. Her eyes travelled from the boots to the woman she loved.

"Hey there, you're home early." Piper whispered. Alex was looking at her with the strangest expression on her face. Piper wanted her to speak but she didn't. She just stared at Piper holding Finn. He was tucked to her side but basically he was sprawled on her body. She looked at Alex and spoke again saying, "Alex, are you alright?"

Alex nodded and swallowed. "I'd give you that if I could. I...oh Piper." Alex whispered softly. Piper felt a panic rise up in her chest. She could see Alex thinking she had to have a kid and leaving her because she couldn't provide one for her. Piper knew that Alex would put her happiness first. This rationale terrified Piper to the point she felt her heart clench.

"I don't have to have it. I don't...I have to have you to live. I don't have to have a child. Do you understand me, Alex?" Piper said in a clear voice. Alex nodded and rose; she walked over and kissed Piper on the forehead. She then said, "I'm heading to the shop. I will be back ...after I work out. What time is Polly picking him up?" Alex rose and moved around the sofa. Piper's eyes followed her as she told her seven. She felt a pang of fear and she clutched Finn. He woke startled and started to cry. Alex stopped at the laundry room door and looked back. Piper caught a glimpse of her face and she looked scared. Piper held up her hand to say it is alright and with her other hand she rubbed Finn.

"Hey sleepy, let's go make vegan dogs and mac-n-cheese. I get to feed you tonight! I may even have Oreo cookies for dessert," Piper tempted. Finn was such a happy child that he soon perked up. Piper prepared dinner but she could barely function. She wanted to be upstairs, she wanted...needed to know that Alex wasn't going to leave her because she didn't want to have children. Piper had thought about it and she could be happy with devoted Godmother. He ate and they drew pictures. He drew one for Alex. It was of Chaucer and Piper. Chaucer was huge and looked sort of like a cat. Piper was very yellow. It made her think of Suzanne.

Polly came to pick Finn up. She looked for Alex and Piper just shook her head. She wanted to tell Polly about her day, but she could see her friend was very tired.

"They are really pushing that we move manufacturing out of New York. I told them we wanted to give work to our community. It was a lot of numbers and persuasion. I don't know Piper, we need to talk and go over it. I'm zonked...but the suits with Ashland are pushing Micah to get us to lower production cost. I hear lower quality with that..." Polly rubbed her neck as she got Finn's stuff together.

"Do you want to buy back the rights or quit as consultant?" Piper asked. Polly shook her head.

"No, no I like my job with our company. I like creating new products and improving what we started. It was a little too corporate." Polly said. This was the first Piper had heard of it. Polly always found the holding company to be a plus. She felt guilt as she had pretty much signed off on everything Polly decided and just cashed the checks.

"We'll do whatever you want," Piper said and Polly smiled. She liked being in charge of their company. Polly picked up Finn and grunted under the weight. Piper wondered if she'd have any more children. She didn't press about it though. She remembered how Polly called Finn an alien while he was in her uterus. If she was honest, she just wanted Polly to have another so she could be there through the entire birth. Polly promised to call later and they left.

As soon as the door shut she started towards the back door. She stopped and gazed at the laundry room door. She remembered how good her fiancé looked hanging it. She remembered how she promised to give her space. It was hard. It was very hard not to go up there and make her say that she will never leave Piper. She took a deep breath and made a choice to have faith in Alex and their engagement.

Piper left Finn's drawing on the bar and went to check the mail. She was looking for the card her mother sent. She didn't want Alex to find it first. Piper wasn't sure how she'd take a formal thank you. It could come across as cold. Piper was going to read it first, just to make sure. She saw the legal documents that the lawyer sent over. She read each part and it was pretty straightforward. It offered Alex's medical power of attorney and there was one for Piper to name Alex. While sitting at the desk, she signed and filled out all the paperwork. Some of this would be covered when they eventually married. But as for now, Alex was being safe. Piper kind of liked this new aspect of Alex.

She found the card and it was addressed to both of them. She opened it and found a very sweet sentiment from her mother about how much she appreciated the car service. She wrote a note specifically to Alex saying that the car service was a perfect thoughtful gift. Piper was very pleased with her mom. She was about to get up when she saw some paperwork that should have been addressed to her. It was from Ashland Inc. but for Alex. Piper frowned and opened it anyway. She didn't really consider what she was doing, just curiosity pushing her to check why Alex was getting mail from the holding company that owned her company. She read the first words and froze.

It read, "Dear Shareholder..." she scanned the rest as it pointed out that she held majority shares and must attend the meeting or send a proxy with a representative. Piper felt cold all over when she looked at how long Alex had owned shares in the company. She had been majority shareholder of Ashland since before she came to prison. This was one of the legitimate investments Alex made with her money from her mother's house. The one her cousin worked for her while she was in jail. Alex had never mentioned she owned the rights to Popi. She felt sick to her stomach but she rose and walked to the bar. She put the statement down by the drawing and grabbed her jacket. Piper left out the back door because she didn't want to see anyone in the store. She paused at the door and considered turning to go up the stairwell towards the loft. Part of Piper wanted to confront her right then. She wanted Alex to explain why she didn't tell her...why she bought her company. Piper remembered walking along the track and agonizing over whether to take the offer. Alex said nothing. Piper was furious but she wasn't sure of Alex's head space. So she walked out into the night, completely unaware of where she was going. She just walked along the river trying to make sense of this messed up situation.

***You knew I'd throw a wrench in there didn't ya? ;) I do hope you liked that flashback...blows a kiss to the best bass player around. Thank you for sharing where you are from. I love it when someone just reads the story and comments on it. The reviews with quotes and comments make me smile, especially as I appreciate how hard it is to do that when English isn't your first language. I'm in awe of my readers! Please post more and as always I wish you nothing but Peace! Fae***


	96. Chapter 96 Sleeping on the Sofa

She walked along the river listening to the sounds of a Manhattan. It wasn't Prospect Park and her beloved Brooklyn but it did lull her into a more calm space. She didn't have the answers she sought and wasn't sure if she could confront Alex to get them. She stopped and looked at her watch. It was getting late so for no apparent reason, she turned and started to walk back. Piper knew she couldn't just keep walking, find a bar and get wasted. She wanted to do just that. She wanted to dance and dance until she fell exhausted in to oblivion. She wanted to run from whatever angst was coming her way. But she couldn't. She was her fiancée and she had to stick it out. She had to try. Piper knew that she once she committed to being Alex's wife, she wouldn't run away. The old Piper avoided drama. She wasn't the same person anymore.

She let herself in to the apartment the same way she left. Before she had exited the laundry room she saw Alex standing in front of her with red rimmed eyes. She was clutching Piper's old Smith College sweatshirt in her hand. Piper squinted at her as the anger washed over her.

"Oh...thank you, thank you for coming back. Oh Piper, I'm sorry...let me explain please..." Alex rambled as she got closer to Piper and reached out for her. Piper held up her hands and motioned for her to back off.

"I'm really fucking pissed at you. I know I shouldn't have opened your mail but I couldn't see why you'd have mail from the Ashland. I saw how long you were a share holder. Tell me Alex...tell me you didn't buy our company so you could have control of me!" Piper's voice rose as she spoke until she was practically shouting. She saw Alex wince and she took a step backwards. Piper saw a flash of Alex huddled in the floor, naked and scared. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"I set up a company, you know that I did, before I went in...yes to launder some money back in to the US but mainly as a Tax shelter the money from my mother's home. She worked to keep that place and took very little assistance from me. I wanted to make something more of it, so I made Pipex a reality while I was indicted. It bought in to Ashland and another company, a corporate raider called Maxton-Linton. I..Piper anything you want to know, just please don't pack a bag and leave me," Alex clenched her own arms with her hands. Piper watched as she dug her nails in and felt the sting as if it she had grabbed her.

She understood this fear. It was familiar and one she had given Alex good reason to have. "I'm not packing a bag and leaving you. We're engaged. I just want answers. Thank you for telling me some details...that's a start. I should have asked more questions but I thought about it as I walked. I was perfectly happy to fall back in to old habits of letting you keep your business separate from our lives." Piper started. She walked in to the living room, walking around Alex. Piper walked to the big window and looked out into the cityscape. "Pipex? You mean a portmanteau of our names?"

Alex relaxed her grip on her own arms and looked at Piper with a strange look, "Only you would catch that fact in the middle of my pathetic rant," Alex stated. Piper turned and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Tell me why...explain it. Please don't think I'm not fucking furious Alex. When did you decide to buy our company?" Piper asked in a cold determined voice. Alex pushed her glasses up on her head and pinched her nose. Piper waited and forced herself to be quiet and wait.

"You were stressed out about letting Polly down. You would talk about your business all the time and tell me how great Polly was at creating new products. Remember when we walked the track and you told me how you felt Polly's new family was her new business? You were feeling left out of life," Alex tried to explain. She got closer to Piper as she spoke; approaching her like she was a skittish colt.

"So you had your company buy mine to help me not to worry? How magnanimous of you Alex! That still doesn't explain why you didn't tell me," Piper retorted. Alex drew a breath and pushed her glasses back down on her nose.

"No it gave me the idea to get them to inquire. They approached Polly but it was the business plan she devised and the pitch you both created that got them to invest. I didn't order them to buy it; I just said I thought it a good investment. Both of you got the deal and Polly negotiated the great contract she has with the company. It's made both of you a nice amount money and she gets to work on a schedule that is conducive to giving Finn a good start in life. I thought...I mean is it so bad?" Alex justified. Piper shook her head.

"So you did it to take care of me. Yes it is a good deal and I've made money. It really helped me pay back some of my lawyer fees to get the early parole. It helped me to finally start paying my uncle for my place in Brooklyn. You still haven't explained why-" Piper started to say again.

"I know...I know...damn, give me a minute. Look, I didn't know at first it if would go through, then it did and you were short on time. We ...were busy trying to stay sane as we were pulled apart. I didn't tell you because I was pretty sure you'd marry Larry and...fuck it Piper, I wanted you to have some financial security. He just didn't have his shit together then unless you counted making a name for himself at your expense on National Radio! I knew you'd accuse me of trying to control you with money. I didn't want to fight but I had five plus years left. I didn't say anything when we were writing because I didn't want to bring the investigation in to my business. I was a silent partner until I was off probation," She interupted and explained to Piper further. Alex was pacing back and forth before Piper.

"But since then? I know there was that time apart, when you thought I was married...why didn't you just have them sell out our products and fire Polly?" Piper asked back. She clenched her teeth and bit back many remarks that would just wound and make the situation worse.

Alex shook her head and laughed without real mirth in her voice, "I thought about it but Polly really did negotiate a great contract and like I said, you make money. If I'm honest, I still didn't trust Larry to take care of you..." Alex stopped when she saw Piper's fury at Alex's notion that Larry had to take care of her. "Listen, I had never seen you work. I mean, you worked as a waitress, fresh out of college. You weren't working in your field. I just went by what we had known before and I wanted to know you could take care of yourself without having to go to your family. It was always important that you do it on your own. The only time I ever heard you ask anyone for anything was when you called Polly to get money for your plane ticket home from Paris. After we found each other again...I was going to tell you but I...was afraid. I thought you'd get angry at me for trying to control you or you'd think I was using your company to launder money." Alex was trying to keep her voice even and not ramble on so but she couldn't help trying to explain it all.

Piper had thought about it but dismissed it immediately. She knew that Alex would not involve her in another illegal activity. "I'm pissed you didn't trust me. You promised me you were legit and I have taken you at your word. Now, I'm worried. I need to talk to Polly. She may not trust this company is legit now. Alex, you paid for everything when we were together. You never once made me feel like I had to ask for money or be left out of what you were doing because I couldn't pay my way. You kept me. I vowed no one would do that again. I worked three jobs when I got back from Europe before I found a career in television. I loved LA and when I moved here I continued to work. I had quit my job as a production manager to put all the effort in to the business. Yes, we were down to the last of my savings and we needed the money. But never did I tell you this expecting you to fix it. I didn't need you to fix it for us." Piper explained as she rubbed her neck. She was weary and her boiling anger had settled to a simmer that no longer fed her manic energy.

"I'm sorry. You said you had changed and I really hadn't at that point. I wasn't even sure I wasn't going to turn profits from this business into my own drug business again. I was lost as to what I was going to do when I got out. You knew that, we talked about the fact I was up in the air...free falling through life. All I knew was I would sleep better knowing you had financial security. Pipes, I couldn't stop you from being felt up or assaulted, but this I could do." Alex tried to explain again. Piper thought about what she said and she realized in the reverse situation, she may have done the same thing. Alex wasn't the same now as she had been when they were together at Litchfield. She had a goal and was putting all of her energy in to a business she believed in with all of her heart. Well, not all of her energy. Piper realized a lot of her energy was spent on trying to make Piper happy.

Alex's phone rang and she reached into the pocket of her sweats to get it. It was late for a call so Piper shot an eyebrow up to inquire. She didn't want them to stop talking and being interrupted by a phone call brought feelings flooding back. Alex saw the shadow cross her face and she paled. When will they ever stop fighting the ghosts of their past? "It's my sponsor. I called Nicky when I saw the notification on the bar. She had me call my sponsor." Alex explained. It was like someone had tossed cold water in her face. Piper drew in a breath and her eyes got wide. Try as she might, knowing what she did about Alex's past, she never really seen Alex as an addict. However, Nicky was there for her.

"Go ahead, answer it. I'm not going anywhere." Piper replied. Alex took the call. Her sponsor's name was Ann. Piper had heard her speak to her a couple of times on the phone after a meeting. Alex told her that Piper was home and they were talking. She repeated a few of the steps with her. It did seem to calm her. Piper closed her blue eyes and calmed herself more. Alex got off the phone and drew a deep breath. Piper wondered if Alex hid her recovery from her. While they were in prison, Alex attended the NA meetings and even once had used her testimony to point out to Piper that she started to do drugs after she left her. It had infuriated her. Now, Piper was scared.

"You look like I've threatened you. I'm okay Piper. I panicked when you were gone. Your purse was here, I called your phone and it rang on the desk. It scared me to death, Piper. I called Nicky and she thought the pressure was too much." Alex explained. Piper nodded and walked over to her.

"Did it...Alex are you going to start using again?" Piper asked her. Alex shook her head and brought her hands up to run down Piper's arms. She held her hands.

"No addict ever plans on using. But no, I didn't think of going to get drugs, I was scared for you...I was scared for us. I'm scared all the fucking time. He raped all my courage away from me and I'm sorry you're left with this mess." Alex choked out as her tears started again. Piper let go of her hands and took Alex's face in her palms. She looked her in the eye and took a deep breath to calm herself.

"You are not a mess. I fucking hate what has happened to us. Tell me his name Alex and let me take care of you. No more need for security systems and needless worry. I'll make it so he never touches anyone again. Just tell me his name, baby." Piper begged hers softly. Alex shook her head and leaned forward.

"I wondered how long you could go without asking me who it was...I'm proud of you for waiting so long. I will not tell you his name for the same reason you wouldn't tell me Henton's name. I will not risk you." Alex responded.

Piper took another deep breath. "It's different now. We aren't prisoners under his mercy. If you-" Piper began.

"No Piper! We're ex-cons with a record. If you approach him, especially down where he lives, you'll be hauled in to jail faster than you can say -attempted assault" Alex replied.

Piper thought to herself, there would be no "attempt". She'd do whatever it took to make him pay for violating Alex. She was the strongest woman Piper knew. Imagining her helpless under some rutting man; made Piper want to scream and break things. However, that wouldn't help Alex. So Piper just sighed and gave in to her argument. She kept Henton from Alex by not telling her which officer had assaulted her. She realized everything Alex said or did since they'd been together had somehow been tainted by her rape.

Piper realized they were now in to a conversation she wasn't sure they should be having without Dr. Speer present. "I'm still pissed about your choice to lie to me- even if it was by omission. I need to talk to Polly but I do understand about the fear Alex. Nothing I do can make you believe I will not leave except be here for you until you decide to believe. I would however, like you to ask Dr. Speer if we can start that therapy together." Alex blinked and Piper was sure she was surprised. She looked at Piper and turned her head to the side as if she was seeing her in a whole new light.

"You really are staying with me though I fucked up not telling you? You are going to talk to Polly and you want to go to therapy with me?" Alex asked in a way that broke Piper's heart just a little. She didn't show it though. Her pity wasn't what Alex needed.

"Oh I'm really pissed at you Alex. As a matter of fact, you're sleeping on the bedroom sofa tonight and if Polly wants out of this contract, you will make it so we get the best deal we can! If you EVER lie to me about something like this again- I'll leave. Yes, I want to go through therapy with you. We need it. We had always planned on doing it together anyways. I want to know everything that happened and I want you to know it doesn't change the way I feel about you. I don't know how to show you that, so maybe Dr. Speer will help." Piper said in a tone that told Alex she was through discussing it.

"I'll call her tomorrow and set up something. I'll apologize to Polly as well and I'll ask my lawyer to meet with the two of you and disclose my financial records so you can both see it is a real, honest business." Alex smiled for the first time since Piper came home. It made her heart skip a beat. She loved this woman to complete madness. Alex saw the look in her eye and got closer to Piper. She tucked the loose hair behind Piper's ear and leaned in as if she was going to kiss her. Piper drew back and held up her finger.

"Oh no, you are not getting out of this that easily Vause. Welcome to our new adult relationship- you get to grovel when you fuck up, just like I do- and you don't get to distract me with mind blowing orgasms. I'm not 23 anymore. Think about how you should have told me and what all you're missing while sleeping on the sofa tonight." Piper said as she turned away and went to get some sheets for Alex.

"Anything you want Piper. I guess it is a new adult relationship. I was wondering if jewelry would be acceptable...I mean Christmas is coming up, I've been working on getting a certain ring crafted...maybe I should get some matching ear rings? Or maybe just a shopping spree for Finn at FAO Swartz? " Alex suggested as she took the sheets from Piper's hands.

"Keep thinking on it Vause. I don't need presents though, just you. Polly on the other hand, may make you jump through a few present hoops!" Piper replied as she pulled off her shirt and walked toward their bedroom. Alex followed smiling like she had won something. They settled down to sleep and Alex wished her a good night from the sofa by the window. It took Piper three hours of tossing and turning before she got up and joined her lover on the sofa.

"Hey I thought-" Alex said.

"Oh shut up, Alex and pull the cover up over us. I'm cold and I don't see why I have to suffer without you because you fucked up. Hold me close please," Piper mumbled. Alex laughed in her ear and pulled her close as she could get her. Piper immediately relaxed. "Doesn't mean forgiven...just means I'm totally in love with you and can't sleep without you anymore. Don't worry if you dream, I'll wake up." Piper mumbled as she started to fall off to sleep.

Alex's reply was the last thing Piper heard before sleep took her, "I'm totally in love with you too, kid." Piper fell to sleep with a smile.

***I hope y'all are enjoying your weekend. I am busy as all get out at home. As these last chapters are written on this story, I feel wonderful and sad. I am however, planning the continuation of their story and that makes me smile. Thank you for letting me grow these characters and offering me such fantastic feedback! I may have scribed the novel but your energy, friendship, comments and suggestions helped me for their entire love story. Fan fiction at its best. Please


	97. Chapter 97 Best Friend Confessions

She moved a little and felt the warmth of another person behind her. She felt the pressure of her arm as well. Piper was aware of murmuring and whimpering. In her sleep, she rubbed Alex's forearm. She made soft comforting sounds until the whimpering stopped. Piper drifted back in to a deep sleep that brought a memory...or maybe a dream into her mind.

**_They were in Tawau, on the island of Borneo. It was her first trip to that Island. She and Alex had been together and traveling about six months. Alex had taken a whole group of them there to go cave diving after she finished her business. There were eleven or so people that traveled with them and about nine of them were on this trip. Unfortunately, there had been delays at the airport due to weather and they were stranded in one hotel room. _**

**_It was a small room and not the best hotel. Alex shrugged and smiled at Piper. Piper took this to be an adventure and set about getting extra blankets and pillows for their crew. The bed...it wasn't very big and Alex truly suspected there may be bugs in it. _**

**_"Okay, Piper and I will take the couch. You guys pull up some carpet and whoever is brave enough can have the bed. I'm beat!" Alex said as a way to get people moving. Piper knew if she didn't tell them she was tired, they'd stay up all night, doing lines and playing cards. They took turns in the bathroom though to be honest; Piper would have rather gone in the jungle. It was disgusting. Luckily, Claudia was a clean freak and wiped everything down with Lysol wipes. _**

**_"You want to be the big spoon or little spoon?" Alex asked. Piper smiled. No one liked to spoon as much as her woman. Piper gave her a look that said, "you know my preference" and Alex chuckled as she spread out first on the couch. It was a tight squeeze but they both fit. Piper sighed with contentment. She knew other girls would love to be in her place but she had Alex. She felt like she had the whole world. If she could change anything about Alex it would be her job. Piper found it exciting but it took so much of Alex's time away from her. These trips where she combined business and pleasure were heaven to Piper. _**

**_"You feel great just like that," Piper said softly. Billy made a joke about how good Alex felt and Piper shot him a bird. Alex laughed and kissed her neck. Soon everyone got quiet and Piper could hear snoring. She had just drifted to sleep herself when she felt Alex's hand move down her Pajama pants. Piper felt those long fingers slide down to massage her clit. She gasped as Alex expertly flicked her sex back and forth. _**

**_"Alex...oh...stop...we're not alone..." she managed to whispers. _**

**_"You mean to tell me that in four years of college you never fucked anyone in your dorm room and had to be quiet?" Alex whispered against her ear. Piper felt her whole body flush and grow hot at her words. Alex never stopped slowly tormenting her. Piper almost forgot to answer. _**

**_"Yyes...but..you know I can't...stay...quiet with you.." Piper breathed back. Alex chuckled but kept on pushing her upward towards orgasm. _**

**_"You'll have to be quiet this time or you'll wake up the whole room...and they'll know we were fucking. Wouldn't you be red in the face while scuba diving tomorrow...knowing they heard you come on my fingers...mmm sounds delightful really. Now I want to make you cry out." Alex said in her husky voice that told Piper she was wet. Piper moaned and bit her lip. She wasn't going to cry out...she wasn't going to make any noise. _**

**_Her breathing grew heavy and Piper started to pant. Alex reached her other hand under Piper and started to squeeze and maul at her breasts. Piper arched her back and offered her each one. Alex's hands were so strong and sure that Piper felt her orgasm rising until she cried out softly, coming from Alex's deft fingers rubbing her clit. She opened her eyes and saw Billy smiling from the light that bled in to the room. He winked at her and turned his back to her. Piper turned on the couch and buried her face against Alex's neck. _**

**_"Thank you, kid. That was hot, now try and get some sleep," Alex whispered and held Piper close until she fell back to sleep. _**

The dream made Piper's hips move and she was pressing her hard clit against something that was rubbing her. ****She felt her clit being rubbed just the way that drove her insane. Piper arched her back and started to moan. She opened her eyes to see sunlight come in through the window and dance on the plush crimson rug. Her body was singing with desire. Alex's arm was pressing her down as she reached around to please her. It was the same way she had done it in Borneo.

Piper gasped out as she sped up her administrations and sent her over the edge. She gave her pleasure voice and it echoed out into their room.

"Fuck yeah kid, sing it. I'll never get used to the glory of holding you while you come." Alex whispered against her ear. Piper bit her lip and clutched at Alex's forearm as the shudders started to subside. Alex pushed Piper's panties down, pulling her hand out to do so she helped Piper to lift up just enough to get them down. She then inserted two fingers and pressed her palm down on her mound. Alex grabbed her there, holding her by her fingers and the pressure of her hand. Piper felt her sex throb against her palm.

Her voice was deeper than its normal timbre when Alex said possessively, "Mine." Piper started to shudder again as the words drifted over her. Alex moaned in her ear and they stayed like that for a long while. Piper enjoyed the security of her embrace. She could tell it settled Alex and helped her to fight off whatever worry she may have had that Piper would be leaving her.

"I'm not going anywhere, Al. I'm all yours...even when you fuck up, I'm all yours. Even when I fuck up, I'm all yours. Remember that." Piper whispered. Alex chuckled and kissed her neck.

"I was remembering Borneo as you slept in my arms," Alex said after a few moments. Piper laughed and told her about her dream. "I love we have a past together. We have memories we made in our youth that are a part of us but we also have memories as adults that changed us." Piper nodded at the observation and stroked the wrist of the hand that held her so intimately. She was warm but she could see gooseflesh on Alex's thigh. Piper reached back over them and pulled the cover down. Alex had tossed it to the side so she could access Piper's sex better. It was almost mid-December and the cold winds of winter were returning to New York. It made Piper remember the early snow that happened the night they found each other again.

"That was hot...when I had to come but not make noise. Billy saw...he teased me about it the next day. I meant to ask...do you know what happened to him?" Piper asked her. She hadn't really inquired about others in the indictment. She had no one to give up so she didn't negotiate her time down.

Alex shifted some and held her closer. Piper waited for her to voice it. "He almost OD'd and was one reason I got sober. I sent him home to his Dad. It was about a year and a half after you left. Last I checked, he was managing a club in Raleigh." Piper nodded. She could so see him at a club. They talked for awhile about their day. Alex was going to call Nicky, Dr. Speer and her lawyer when they got up. She was going to arrange for any information needed to be delivered to the apartment. Piper was going to call her Dad and then Polly. She was fairly certain that Pete had Finn and she'd just have to lure Polly away for lunch. Alex reminded her that Raven was coming by to help her set up her week. Piper was working half weeks and most of them from home because of her dad. They were going to try and move back in to the Brooklyn house to help mid week. By then, Piper was sure that Cal would be ready to kill their mother. One could only take so much family at a time. She wasn't sure when her meetings would be with Dr. Speer but they'd figure out a way to work it in as it was very important. They had to start dealing with their trauma together.

Piper had insisted on the therapy but she was afraid. She had left therapy when she probably needed it the most. Now, she was going back to therapy with more issues. Piper was infuriated underneath and she felt the surface of her calm start to boil. She was able to distract herself with her life but she was self aware enough to know that wasn't dealing. Piper simply wanted to hurt the man that raped her love. She found herself imagining castrating him. It would pop in her head. She wanted to hurt him more than she ever wanted to hurt Henton, Walsh or even Mendez. She was afraid that her anger would bleed out and Alex would be hurt by it. She needed Piper to be strong and not a single minded hate machine. Her "passion of justice" was seeking to control her.

"Where did you go?" Alex asked her. Piper blinked and turned on the couch. Alex moved her hand and used her arm to pull Piper closer. She looked at her and smiled.

"I'm here," she answered. Alex smiled and Piper watched her remember the Myra ,their dryer. Alex kissed her lips and then asked again, " No Piper, what were you just thinking. Talk to me...your body tensed and your breathing was funny...like you were controlling your breath." Piper looked down because she was afraid of what Alex might see in her eyes. She didn't want to worry her...but she didn't want to lie.

"Last night was a...hard night for us. One night snuggling on the couch will not make up for that Alex. You know I'm not a kid anymore and satiating my sexual desires will not get you what you want." Piper stated. It was the truth and a point she planned on making in the shower. However, it was better than asking her again to name her assailant. Piper was certain that she could find out. It would take maybe two phone calls to a few Prison watch dog organizations she knew. She had spoke on a few panels with Carolina from Just Detention. She knew Carolina would have data on any officer let go for what could be construed as sexual misconduct. Try as she might, she couldn't help but figure in a time to do that or perhaps have Raven look up the data. Piper told herself that just knowing his name was going to be enough for her.

"I know and I don't think all is alright. I'm not sure that is what you were thinking about, but I'll let it go." Alex answered with a small smile. Piper reached up and touched her face.

"I heart you," she said. Alex replied the same and kissed her again with increasing passion. Piper rolled them over so she could lay on top of her lover. She was careful though and pulled her head back to make sure Alex was okay with it. Alex tensed and then relaxed her body.

"Please don't...be afraid to love me. It was just...what you said that triggered my flashback. I love the feeling of you on top of me. It feels totally different, babe." Alex assured her. Piper smiled and began to kiss her all over again. Piper kissed down her neck and pushed up her thermal she wore. It reminded Piper of the white ones they wore in the Winter months in prison. This didn't bring back terrible memories for once...she remembered pulling off that shirt to kiss Alex in their Chapel. Alex started to squirm under her mouth and soon Piper was inside of her. Her fingers weren't quiet as long as Alex's but she knew how to make her woman come hard. Alex was already throbbing with need from making Piper scream with pleasure. Soon Alex's voice was the one bouncing around off the window pane like wave of animal pleasure.

She collapsed on top of her and they started to giggle. Maybe it was tension release or maybe it was just how loud Alex had yelled, but they got the giggles. Nicky walked in to the room and found them like that...a naked, giggling Piper on top of a naked giggling Alex.

"I guess you found her. A phone call would have been nice," Nicky drawled as she walked up in to the level in front of the window. Alex pulled the blanket down to cover her lover.

"I'm sorry I should have called, but Nicky, we aren't in the dorms...you need to knock before you come in!" Alex replied with a growl. Nicky plopped down in the recliner with her feet dangling over the edge.

"So you made and have a fantastic bed...yet you sleep on the couch?" Nicky said, ignoring Alex's warning. Piper slid beside Alex and the blanket moved up her thigh. Nicky waggled her eyebrows at the view and Piper laughed. Alex didn't. She growled at her and threw one of their pillows. It hit Nicky upside her face.

"Alex was sentenced to the couch last night. I gave her a conjugal visit."Piper answered. Nicky snorted as Alex made sure to cover up Piper as she adjusted.

"No you gave in to the temptation of the hottie Alex Vause and joined her on the couch." Nicky retorted. Piper shot her a bird and Alex had the intelligence not to comment.

"What are you doing here Nicky?" Alex asked finally.

"Well, I opened the store- like I said I would last night and brought the numbers from the first two weeks in Brooklyn for you. Plus, I wanted to check on your sorry ass since you didn't call," she replied giving Alex glare. "Also, Piper Raven is here downstairs. She said she was working with you today but I had her wait to come upstairs until I checked that you two hadn't killed yourselves."

"If you would please go into the kitchen, start the coffee, my fiancé and I will get up." Alex answered. Nicky rolled her eyes and swung her legs around. She mumbled about making herself coffee and not being their house girl. Piper pulled herself up and walked naked behind Nicky. Alex didn't make any noise that would cause Nichols to turn around but Piper could tell she didn't like it. She darted in the bathroom and Alex followed. She put her arms around Piper and turned her around. She kissed her passionately and Piper's heart raced.

Yet, they had things to do so she pulled herself away and jumped in the shower. Alex tried to join her hand Piper held the door. "Look, we...are working on being alright again...but if you get in here, we will fuck and we both have people waiting on us. Let's try hard not to use Sex to deflect our problems. I have to try and figure out how I'm going to let Polly know. Just..pick me out something to wear please." Piper asked with a smile. Alex frowned but was placated that she got to dress Piper. She used to love to do that. Piper let her when she was younger but soon rebelled. It fascinated her that though Alex loved the Rockabilly look, she didn't ever want Piper to adopt it. Piper finished her shower quickly and kissed Alex as she got out. Alex slipped in the running water right after. She had laid out a warm blue sweater and a pair of black jeans. She even brought a pair of Piper's favorite shoes out of the college. It made Piper smile. She walked out of the bedroom with her hair still wet. She wasn't convinced Nicky would make coffee for both of them and Piper knew that Alex needed her coffee.

She saw Nicky leaning against the kitchen counter as she rounded the corner. She smiled and started to speak when she caught sight of Nicky's expression. One thing being in prison with someone can teach you...how to read their expressions. "What's wrong?" she asked suddenly concerned about Lorna.

"Don't you ever run out on her again! You can get mad...but never just leave. She was a fuckin' wreck Chapman and I'm done picking her up after the devastation that is Hurricane Piper." Nicky replied in a cold voice.

Piper blinked. She first wanted to apologize, and then she felt her own anger rise. "You're her partner; did you know she owned a portion of Ashland?" She asked. Nicky frowned but didn't deny. "I know I shouldn't have left but I was really upset Nicky." Piper said. She moved closer to Nicky and leaned forward in her face.

"You may be Alex's best friend but she is my woman and this is my house. Don't you ever speak to me again like that or think for one fucking minute you have the right to tell me what to do in my relationship. Back off Nicky, we're not in Litchfield anymore. You aren't prisoner with experience helping me do time and you sure aren't the expert in how to be in love with Alex Vause. I am. Now get your ass over there so I can make my love some coffee." Piper continued in a voice just as cold as the one Nicky used.

Nicky looked at her a moment then nodded. She sipped her coffee as she moved out of the way. Piper fixed more coffee and pulled out three croissants for breakfast. She had them buttered and on a plate when Alex came in to the kitchen. She looked at her love and her best friend and shot up a one of her very expressive eyebrows in inquiry. Piper just smiled and passed her breakfast.

They started to talk business as Piper used the intercom to call Raven upstairs. She checked over the items she gave her to do and saw the one where she contacted her friend about the officer at the boot camp. Piper looked at it a moment and didn't erase it. She had to know his name. Piper told herself it was just for information, to put a name...and maybe face to the boogeyman that haunted her bedroom. Yet she knew she'd probably not be satisfied with just knowing his name. Raven didn't even give the request a second glance. Most of what they worked on had to do with Piper's consultant job. Nicky and Alex sat at the kitchen bar and poured over paperwork.

Each working pair would occasionally laugh or make a point that would draw their eyes to one another. Piper was looking at Alex when she called Polly. "Hey, I need you to come over to our place. It is about our business," Piper began right after exchanging hellos.

Polly was quiet a moment then simply said, "I'll be there as soon as I get my boys out of the house." Piper thanked her and hung up. Alex was looking at her with an expression Piper couldn't read. Raven said she'd watch the floor below and work on Piper's list. She felt bad that she had given Raven the task of finding the name. But she had to know. She wasn't going to tell Alex or pressure her. She didn't want Alex to worry about her getting into trouble. She could think she was protecting Piper from it all and that would give her some peace. It was manipulative and Piper knew it was wrong. Yet, she couldn't control her need to know the man's name.

Polly arrived as Nicky was leaving. They greeted one another in passing. Polly looked at Piper then at Alex and took off her coat. "It is really getting cold out there. So, what's up? I told you I could handle the suits and the distribution issue," Polly began. Piper took her coat and hung it in the closet. When she turned around Alex was standing before Polly, looking her in the eye.

"I own a good portion of Ashland Inc. through another company I set up. I sent them to you with the offer and I kept that fact from the both of you. Originally, I did it so you wouldn't reject the offer outright because it came from me. We weren't really close...no...we hated each other...at the time. I wanted to assure Piper had means to take care of herself when she left prison. It is totally legit and I have the financial information on my investment in Ashland, Ashland and my holding company-" Alex began but Polly interjected.

"Pipex? Yeah I know it is legit, I checked it out before I approached Piper with the papers. Look, I know you know me as a part time worker slash stay-at-home-mom but I do have a college degree in marketing. I know how to research a company. I knew about Pipex before I took the offer and I figured it was your company. I mean...Pip- ex it was obviously your company." Polly said with a roll of her eyes. She headed straight for the kitchen to get some coffee.

Alex and Piper stared at each other stunned. Piper shook her head and broke the gaze first. She rushed around Alex as she said, "You knew? Why the fuck didn't you tell me?"

Polly blinked surprised and poured herself a big cup of coffee. "I thought you knew and were keeping it from me because you thought I wouldn't take the deal. I negotiated our pie deal and took Ashland for everything I could. I figured she was crazy enough about you to make them sign off on any deal I set forth and I wasn't that far off. It allowed you to pay back some of your legal fees and me to stay home with Finn." Polly poured some cream into her coffee and looked up at Piper's expression. "You mean to tell me you didn't know Alex had done this?"

Piper just shook her head and sat down in a stool with a slump. She was a bright woman; how the fuck had she missed this? She thought for a moment and realized that adjusting to freedom, dealing with her trauma and trying to keep her relationship with Alex and Larry had occupied all of her thoughts.

Polly turned to Alex and went off. She told her she was a lying scum and had no business keeping matters like that from Piper. She said all the things Piper thought as she walked along the waterfront. Alex listened to Polly and agreed. It seemed to take some of the wind out of her sails. " I hate it when you agree with me Super Cunt," she mumbled.

"I want to make it up to you...to both of you. Piper and I are working on things...I am working on things that happened to me in prison after Pipes left..." Alex began.

"Al...it's okay, Polly understands that," Piper said, suddenly worried that Alex would share more than she was able to handle. She trusted Polly to behave right but sometimes her snarky humor can be taken the wrong way.

"No...I'm not making excuses. I chose to keep that from you after we got together for lots of reason but fear is the main one. I know that loving Piper means loving you too Polly. I fought that first time around and I kept her from her best friend. I was afraid she'd tell you the truth about my job and you'd advise her to leave me. I don't want to go forward like that. I want there to be honesty and I want you, Finn and Pete to be a big part of our lives. So what can I do to make it up? Maybe total disclosure of the business? A spa day...or a FAO Swartz trip for Finn?" Alex suggested.

"You can't buy me...well I'll take you up on the spa day because I do know how much Pipex pulled in three years ago and I know you've only done better since. I'll also take the shopping trip for Finn but on one condition...you have to go too. He adores you, for some unknown reason, and a trip with 'Aunty Alex' would do him a world of good." Polly replied with a smile. Alex paled and looked over a Piper.

"Um by myself?" She asked with a horrified look on her face. Piper was actually enjoying the reaction.

Polly considered it. "No, I guess you can go with Piper. I don't want you losing him in that big store. But you are to take the lead and help him pick out some toys. Christmas is coming up so two for him and the rest he can take to the toy drive. Oh, or better yet, you both can adopt an Angel Tree kid from his preschool."

Alex agreed and Piper just shook her head. She had to admit she was looking forward to their trip to the store. Polly said she'd pick up the angel tree kid on Monday and they arranged the trip for Wednesday.

"So, you two haven't killed each other. I'm guessing she forgave you for lying to her," Polly asked when the plans were set. Alex pulled up her laptop and opened it to a premiere day spa in Manhattan. As they talked Alex bought a day package gift certificate.

"Yes...we both have done things we weren't proud of out of fear. We will be working on it in therapy," Piper replied. Alex looked up as she was finishing. Piper looked at her as if to say "yeah I tell her everything". Her fiancé just smiled and like a smart woman walked over to the printer to get the certificate for Polly.

"I'm glad you're going back. I know the book was cathartic but having Alex back, your dad...it is a lot for you to take in and I'm afraid you're going to relapse," Polly looked at Alex as she handed her the certificate. She smiled and thanked her then took Alex by the hand. "Taking care of her means letting her express what she is feeling. She hasn't told me any details about what happened to you but...if it is like what happened to her, remember how you felt? You were there...and got to hold her and help. I'll always be grateful to you for that. She can only deal with her anger and helplessness after the fact." Piper tried to interrupt but Alex asked her to be quiet.

She took a deep breath and walked to the sofa holding Polly's hand. Polly looked back at Piper as she walked with them. They sat down together with Polly between them and as Alex continued, she looked at Polly's hands as she spoke. "I know. Look I was...what happened to me was...violent and I was raped. Piper knows most of it but I didn't tell her that I...got pregnant from it. I lost the baby during Boot Camp." Alex looked up at Piper as she said it and she felt all the air leave her body. Polly reacted first by pulling Alex in for a hug. Alex never took her eyes off of Piper's face. She understood it was easier for her to tell Polly but Piper felt so stunned she couldn't speak. She just looked at her. "I'm not telling you this to get off the hook about the company. I just...I guess it is easier to say with someone else here," Alex explained.

She lost a child. Alex lost a child she got from rape. Piper heard the blood in her ears and the pounding of her heart as it tried to break free of its flesh cage. Every look she gave her when she held Finn came rushing back to her like the sequence in a mystery movie that lets people see the clues they missed. Her nap with Finn and Alex's words rang out in her memory. Polly cursed like a sailor about the fucking prison system and sadistic bastards.

"Are you physically okay? Did you get help?" Polly asked. Alex laughed as she pulled away from the hug. Polly reached back and took Piper's hand in hers but kept her focus on Alex. She never wavered in her support and attention to Alex but it was obvious she was there for them both.

"If I reported it, I would have been kicked out. I fought back the last time and he got suspended. I had just lost the baby before that. A few of the other girls helped me to hide the blood. It cramps were bad but went away after..." Alex said. Polly nodded and shared she had lost a child before she Finn. She had been a couple weeks along. Piper had held her head as she cried. She remembered being so thankful that she hadn't been sentenced yet so she could be there for Polly. Polly asked Alex if she did get checked out and Alex told her she went to the doctor when she was in the last phase of the program. They confirmed with an ultrasound there had been a pregnancy but her weight loss, stress and physical exertion most likely caused the miscarriage.

Alex hugged Polly again and looked at Piper. She stared back at her wishing she could find words to speak.

"Are you mad I didn't tell you? I just told Dr. Speer last week...I didn't even tell Nicky about it..." Alex whispered. Piper shook her head and reached over touch her cheek lightly.

"Let's switch places Pipes, you know me, I've never been one for three-ways! You two need to hold each other, "Polly joked. It was just the right amount of awkward humor to make Piper smile. She scooted over and took Alex in to her arms. Once in her lover's arms, her cool facade broke and Alex started to cry. Piper just rocked her back and forth.

Polly rose from the sofa and kissed Piper's head. "You two need time together. I'll be downstairs if you need me," she whispered before she left. Piper looked at her with gratitude but held on tightly to Alex. She was afraid to let go of her. She let go of her once and look what happened. In that moment, Piper wished she had violated her parole and returned to Litchfield. Yes, she would have been playing in to the hands of sadistic fucks like Mendez, but Alex would have never gone to that fucking place. She could have protected her and got her back. Piper knew the main reason Alex took the Boot Camp deal was because she wanted to get out and be with Piper. She wasn't sure it would happen but even after the abuse she suffered at the hands of the Litchfield COs, she had been hopeful she would find Piper again.

"Say something Pipes, please. What are you thinking?" Alex asked in a voice ravaged by tears and pain. Piper squeezed her tighter. She was afraid to speak, afraid of what would come out of her mouth.

Finally she spoke, " Oh Alex...I'm sorry. I'm sorry I left you in that place. I'm sorry this happened to you and I'm sorry we suffered this inhuman punishment. I...want to scream and I'm afraid of what will come out." Piper babbled. Alex pulled her head up off of Piper's shoulders. She took her face in both hands and pressed her forehead together.

"It wasn't your fault. It wasn't love...so please don't blame yourself. It wasn't my fault...though I blame myself sometimes. My rape..miscarriage...all of it is the fault of that sick fucking pig of a guard. If you want to scream...scream. It kinda helps." Alex suggested. Piper felt the scream rising and she clutched to Alex opening her mouth and wailing with frustration. She screamed at her helpless rage and the images of a blood soaked Alex crouching in a bathroom stall. She screamed at image of her lover being pressed down under the body of a faceless rutting man. She screamed at the system that allows prisoners to be abused. Her scream turned to a sob and they sat holding each other close.

Time passed. How long they held each other, Piper couldn't say. Finally they moved apart and Alex kissed Piper's face. She wiped Piper's face and tucked a stray lock of hair behind her pert ear. "It will be okay...I called Dr. Speer after my shower. We have an appointment on Tuesday. She asked me if I told you anything or if I wanted to wait. I said I'd wait but...I guess Polly being here was enough of a buffer that I could say it," Alex began. Piper put her fingertip on her lips and stopped her. She now wiped the tears from Alex's face.

"You don't need to explain. I understood why you told me with Polly here. It is always easier to confess things with a best friend. Thank you for telling me that way. I think it helped me not to lose my shit to be honest," Piper replied. Alex exhaled in a way that told Piper she had been holding her breath in fear that Piper would react badly to such news being shared in that manner. Polly and Alex had come a long way and this proved to Piper that Alex trusted Polly with the most important details of their life. How had Alex put it? Loving Piper meant loving Polly. They have so much to work on that Piper felt overwhelmed. How could they piece together a life if they kept having to overcome such tragedy? She couldn't process her feelings anymore and she just wanted to be warm and safe with Alex.

Piper rose and got her phone. She text-ed Polly to come up and get her coat and she'd call her later. She put the phone down and took Alex by the hand. "Come on, I need you in a tub of hot soapy water with me. I need to feel your arms around me and know you are here, free with me. Can we do that?" Piper asked.

"Don't you have to be in Brooklyn soon? " Alex asked. Piper held up her hand and texted her mother. She then texted Raven and explained to Alex that she had someone to cover her while she spent time with her woman. Alex smiled and finally answered her. "Well then a bath with you is the best offer I've had in days." Piper kissed her softly and they walked into the bathroom together.

***A long chapter...appropriate as I reach 300k words! WOW! I find it hard to write more than one chapter a week with my busy schedule and the subject matter of my chapters. I feel with 300k - and this being Chapter 97; that it is best to announce now that I will end the book at 100 chapters. I will post an epilogue/author's note acknowledgement as chapter 101. I will continue the story of my Pipex in other fanfic stories, but "Covering Up" will be finished. AS always, this only exists because you reached out to me and reviewed my work with such attention! Please review and Blessed be! Fae***


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